DARK EMPATH: A Deceptive Force In Your Life|Psychotherapy Crash Course
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- Опубліковано 1 чер 2024
- Dark empaths are complicated.
Most good-natured people, including myself, consider themselves to be empathic.
We care about the rights of thers. We care about how we treat others including strangers. We worry we were too harsh after a disagreement. We feel guilty having to set boundaries or correct someone.
This is the outcome of having empathy.
But a dark empath doesn't have these natural feelings.
Their thoughts, intellectualization, and logic guides their empathy.
We call this COGNITIVE EMPATHY.
Cognitive empathy is cold, callous, and detached.
In this video, I tease apart the confusing aspects of the dark empath and give you multiple examples of this personality dyad works.
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#trauma #tamarahilllpc #DARKEMPATH
#TOXICFAMILY
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DISCUSSED IN THIS VIDEO:
0:00 intro
3:20 what a dark empath is
3:50 appearance tricks most people
4:30 low agreeableness creates a lot of problems
4:50 superficial charm is instrumental
5:40 dark empaths may meet your expectations
6:16 what the dark empath is according to 3 domains
7:56 behaviors tend to range in severity
8:51 PROBLEM LIST OF BEHAIVORS
9:22 trauma bonds can develop
10:20 the "dark core" is tricky
11:46 Ego threats or narcissistic injury changes things
13:03 emotionally hazardous behaviors
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Mentioned In The Video:
1. 4 Dangerous Qualities of "Dark Empaths"
www.psychologytoday.com/us/bl...
2. Emotional Intelligence www.verywellmind.com/what-is-...
3.The construct of machevalianism www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
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DISCLAIMER:
*Videos are provided for exploration and educational purposes only and does not constitute clinical suggestions or consultation for individual cases.
If you or someone you know is having a medical emergency involving harm to self, please reach out to the suicide prevention hotline suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.
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I'm Támara, a licensed and internationally/Board certified trauma mental health therapist, with over 14 years experience. I specialize in helping children, teens, and families with mental illness. I also treat psychological/emotional trauma in children, teens, and adults.
If you'd like to contact me or inquire about my international consultations, you may email me at contact@anchoredinknowledge.com. *Please note: all consultations are charged a fixed rate fee based on the case content.
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If you want more information on this topic, see my live chat from Friday here: ua-cam.com/users/livetE66YEcHASs
I made the huge mistake of confusing (superficial) congeniality for compassion , finding out the hard way that they're *not* the same thing !
I am so glad I got away from my evil father and family. Thanks to you and Dr. Ramani. Keep spreading your light.
❤🤗Thank you! I pray you have peace on this journey.
A dark empath is basically a covert narcissist. Why not call them a dark sociopath??? Cold and calculating.
Due to the fact that we aren’t Sociopaths.
Truth
Because empathy is their main presentation and tool, I'd guess.
I agree. The professionals need to ditch the word 'empath'
You just described my dad, mom, and ex husband. I think the ex husband is the worst of the three, but the first two didn’t do me any favors. Dad is a bully and sexual predator. He didn’t touch me, but he was intentionally negligent in situations where I could’ve been killed. Mom hated Dad and projected that to me. She was also negligent and emotionally damaging, but she worked in mental health so she knew how to make me look like the problem.
I frequently wonder how we are supposed to live healthy, fulfilling lives when our foundation is pretty much non-existent. I understand how I ended up with the man I’m still trying to escape. My potentially saving grace is that the kids know what he is, and, in teaching them to protect themselves from their grandparents, I inadvertently taught them how to protect themselves from their dad.
So sorry. What a terrible strain you've had for so many years.
Brilliant video. Family becoming the worst enemy is beyond a nightmare. It's disgusting.
Thank you!! And I agree, disgusting.
Pardon me Ma'am, Dr. Tamara, thank you for this video, these on every level of life, need to be addressed, corrected, exposed and shamed and broken down, rehabilitated, shut down, not believed and no pity, compassion nor move onto any other victims, across the board, they are cancers that need to be uprooted, restrained and not given preferential treatment, befriended, joined, married to nor join as business partners nor allow them to bribe, threaten, treat us like insects, spy, stalk and cry and act like victims, nope.
My mom had schizoaffective disorder and was very loving when stable but I knew that when she was scary acting it was her illness and not her real self. My dad was phenomenal except he would overprotect my brother because we were a black family in a white neighborhood. My brother was physically and emotionally abusive towards me. Most of my life people described me as unempathetic and mean. I recognized that I am immature for my age and had problems with mood. I was critical judgmental obnoxious opinionated entitled and grandiose. In spite of this I did feel empathy towards others and hated to see anyone suffer. I had a heart for animals and preferred to spend time with my pets. I considered myself an introvert. As an adult I think that I withdrew from people because of being judged and rejected from social circles. I never understood why people didn’t like me. Girls were especially hostile towards me. I forgave easily and found that I was used for my car money and other material things. I think I came off as hostile because I would tell people off for trying to take advantage of me or others. I bullied bullies because of guilt for being a bully if that makes sense. I was diagnosed as an adult with bipolar 2 and ADHD. I have never felt more stable now on the right meds. Now people see my real self and they accuse me of being fake because I’m not snapping on people and appearing hostile. I feel like I can’t win and I have no friends. Coworkers still dislike me. I. Really confused. But I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ and feel that God has been pruning me for a greater purpose. Someone told me that when God is “working” on you people will reject you because they already feel judged because of my beliefs. Those are assumptions and stereotypes about Christianity and I do not endorse false teachers who make up their own rules instead of using the Bible as their source of inspiration. We are instructed to love people and pray for our enemies. We are not to judge or force the gospel on anyone. Through Jesus I am able to see the world differently and I can give those who reject me grace because they don’t know my true self just as Jesus was rejected for His true self. God has taught me that every judgement I make about another person is a mirror of myself. He humbled me and now I understand that I am no better than a prisoner on death row if it weren’t for the saving grace from the blood of Jesus.
No shade. No tea 😢 This sounds like my therapist and a few of my male co-workers. This really hit close to home 😮 I'm NEW here!!
As always, packed full of things to learn, protect, affirm and relate to and apply to healing even more.
Having a name or names, and descriptions really helps me feel less alone, and that it wasn’t my fault.
Thank you for talking about these things and bringing them to light. ☀️🙏🏼
Thank you, Dr. Támara
🤗Absolutely! You're welcome. It does help to put a label to the experience and to the experience, knowledge. And thank you for watching.
G⚘R⚘E⚘A⚘T JOB!!! This such an imperative topic that affects us all in some way, shape, or form. They barely scratched the surface on this area in Abnormal Psychotherapy .You are such a trailblazer!!! What you are doing to inform and awaken the collective Tamara is COMMENDABLE!!! Thank you ❤
Thank you for this encouraging message! 🤗I'm very glad you find this helpful. And you're welcome. It's my pleasure.
LOVE THIS INFORMATION. THANK YOU!
You are so welcome! And thank you😊
Thank you for information
This describes it.
I recognise these traits. They are familiar to me, especially from childhood memories . Something that's been on my mind lately is that i've been thinking about how much is often being talked about the narcissists personalities, many of whom are also said to perhaps be the result of some sort of early childhood abuse they'd experienced. At a time in their life when free will could be minimal as well. There's plenty of info on the narcissists that result from these abuses, and judgement of the ways of being that they'll have as well. But when it comes to judgment, or even info, of the sorts of situations that likely sit at the root of the problem, there's often not a lot that's ever being said about that?. Especially when religion and religious groups might be what's involved. Which in my mind seems to me to perhaps help to assist a "never ending cycle" of the whole situation. And its narcissist what will be judged most of all and perhaps it could even be said are the ones being widely demonized too. And meanwhile, our world is supposed to be supported by a Christ like consciousness.
You have mentioned in the past having had a childhood and life full of individuals who could meet the description of the dark empath. Parents who are narcissistic and callous can become a dark empath and be a roller coster for the child later in life as he or she grows into adulthood. It's such a hard reality for the adult child -- especially when they have to be faced with the truth of who their parent really is.
@@TherapistTamaraHillyes but it's about survival in the groups like lots our families had been born into. And then even after some will escape from these groups, the personality disorder doesn't necessarily cease to be either, does it. Unless they'd especially seek to find help. So, some of it may proceed to spread on out throughout society, on the outside of those groups as well too. My point is that there is plenty being said about the end result, but less focus is on dangerous abusive groups where these personality disorders are perhaps created on a mass scale. My brothers often would scream in explosive rage. Even uncles would react exactly the same too. I dislike it so much that now that i refuse to even be employed by any employer who does the same thing too, to their employees. And i'll no longer agree to be anywhere around either of my brothers anymore ever again now either, as time and again its bound to explode in rage, and then next thing tears, anytime i'm around any people likely to explode in rage very easily like that, i do feel as if like it's like tip toeing carefully around on broken glass. I suspect that perhaps problems my nerve ends (neuropathy/numbness) is related to it. Anyway, i feel that it's pure evil that these groups are allowed freedom to create mass narcissism and the related assorted personality disorders. Some even still get to claim charity status too. When love bombing the citizens who are not necessarily a member of their groups, they'll know how to "act out the part" as if they'd be extremely wonderful kind folk who never ever be angry at all at anyone. They'll create narcissist on a mass scale and then the rest of us focus on the end result of that, and we come down hard on the people who were victim of systematic abuses as young children, who'd taken on narcissistic personality, as one way to survive, when their free will had been extremely limited, due to their young age. Is it only me who sees this situation as evil?
Also, thank you for sharing your background music info with!!!
Thank you very much .😊
You're welcome 😊
Thanks for this video Tamara!
Your'e welcome! Thanks for watching.
Great job, thank you for understanding...
Glad it was helpful! My pleasure.
Thank you so much
You're welcome!!
I don't know how to get out of this...im being gang stalked daily since i met her. It took me years to realize what I was dealing with. Everything is being used against me to portray me as she is...
this sounds like the dark triad?
Do you think that a Dark Empath may be a Borderline? Always thought more Borderline ?
There is a possibility that a "dark empath" can also show behaviors consistent with borderline personality. Sometimes the ability to "be empathic" is because they are so emotional sometimes. Not everyone with borderline personality, but some do carry traits of both.
I'm sorry but isn't it the dark triad that you're describing here not the dark empath? 🤔
I decided to approve this comment because so many people get this confused.
The terms are either used to explain a set of personality traits that makes up the personality of the dark empath, OR is used interchangeably.
For example, sometimes psychosis is used to describe schizophrenia. Although these two terms are used interchangeably, they are essentially the same thing.
So a dark empath is an individual who has three dark triad traits: psychopathy, narcissism, and machevalianism. The "dark triad" explains the 3 traits listed above. The dark triad traits also includes individuals who may not be a dark empath but who has the traits narcissism, psychopathy, and machevalianism.
Hope this makes sense!
You can read more here too: www.truity.com/blog/what-dark-empath-read-our-guide-dangerous-personality-type
I'm going to kick a hornets nest here, maybe. If you're not allowed to make any diagnosis until the age of 18.
Then why for the life of me, is it just fine & dandy to pump a child full of hormones? Does that mean when these half butchered children become adults. then is it OK to make a diagnosis. I know it's off topic.
But that slapped me in the face, when you spoke on working with under 18 kids.
Does that not make sense? You can delete the comment or Y T can ban me, I don't care anymore. I also Really enjoy your content 🎉🎉
Just to be politically correct: We are not able to make a diagnosis for a PERSONALITY DISORDER until age 18 when the brain is more fully developed.
But I don't necessarily think you are wrong in your comment. I understand what you mean.
There are a lot of inconsistencies in the field of psychology. There are also A LOT of political movements that gets center stage which sometimes takes us far from the correct medical model.
In other words, the field of psychology tends to change with the zeigist -- the spirit of the times. Right now, the LGBTQ movement has taken center stage in a lot of ways and the field of psychology goes along. I don't believe in giving kids hormones and I certainly don't believe in allowing teens -- who may be going through a temporary moment of self-criticism and confusion (which many of the kids I see for therapy are struggling with) -- to make permanent decisions on their body. In fact, there is a website (I cannot recall at this time) for individuals who have made the mistake of changing their gender and wanting to return to their biological gender.
Sadly, our research hasn't taken us far enough to allow us to diagnose teens or children with personality disorders. There is some research that suggests we should be diagnosing teens with borderline personality disorder to help them secure treatment sooner and be correctly identified and treated.
Again, we're behind.
The "education system" is part of this gender agenda. schools over here in UK are teaching children some as young as 5 years old sex education, many parents are not even aware, what in the world is going on
Dr Tamara- your nuanced answer shows care, compassion, courage, knowledge. I’ve often wondered about critical thinking skills I come upon- how a lot of scope seems not brought in and what was it about me, that I was thinking in “ broad ways” that was sort of blocked when raised- and then lead to self doubt. I’ve just found so much to reflect on and process here in your comment. How people with knowledge, training and skills that have a “fluid position” but yet it does not have a breadth or depth to it. They can manage all the administrative elements to their role and shut out a lot. Meanwhile, my head spins.
The term 'Dark Empath' needs to be renamed. It implies empathy, albeit a strange empathy if you consider the prefix 'dark'. Who invented this term? They need their head examined! 😂 (no offence) No wonder everyone's confused.