A Trauma Informed Approach to Treating Borderline Personality Disorder
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- Опубліковано 26 чер 2024
- Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Qualified Clinical Supervisor. She received her PhD in Mental Health Counseling from the University of Florida in 2002. In addition to being a practicing clinician, she has provided training to counselors, social workers, nurses and case managers internationally since 2006 through AllCEUs.com A Trauma Informed Approach to Treating #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #personalitydisorder #cptsd #traumainformed
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Cattane, Nadia, Roberta Rossi, Mariangela Lanfredi, and Annamaria Cattaneo. “Borderline Personality Disorder and Childhood Trauma: Exploring the Affected Biological Systems and Mechanisms.” BMC Psychiatry 17, no. 1 (June 15, 2017): 221. doi.org/10.1186/s12888-017-13....
Gartlehner, Gerald, Karen Crotty, Sara Kennedy, Mark J. Edlund, Rania Ali, Mariam Siddiqui, Robyn Fortman, Roberta Wines, Emma Persad, and Meera Viswanathan. “Pharmacological Treatments for Borderline Personality Disorder: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis.” CNS Drugs 35, no. 10 (October 2021): 1053-67. doi.org/10.1007/s40263-021-00....
Helle, Ashley C., Ashley L. Watts, Timothy J. Trull, and Kenneth J. Sher. “Alcohol Use Disorder and Antisocial and Borderline Personality Disorders.” Alcohol Research: Current Reviews 40, no. 1 (2019): arcr.v40.1.05. doi.org/10.35946/arcr.v40.1.05.
Kulkarni, Jayashri. “Complex PTSD - a Better Description for Borderline Personality Disorder?” Australasian Psychiatry: Bulletin of Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists 25, no. 4 (August 2017): 333-35. doi.org/10.1177/1039856217700284.
Miller, Alexia E., Sarah E. Racine, and E. David Klonsky. “Symptoms of Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa Have Differential Relationships to Borderline Personality Disorder Symptoms.” Eating Disorders, July 15, 2019, 1-14. doi.org/10.1080/10640266.2019....
Moghaddas, Azadeh, Mehrnoush Dianatkhah, Saba Ghaffari, and Padideh Ghaeli. “The Potential Role of Naltrexone in Borderline Personality Disorder.” Iranian Journal of Psychiatry 12, no. 2 (April 2017): 142-46.
Parker, Justin D., and Aimen Naeem. “Pharmacologic Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder.” American Family Physician 99, no. 5 (March 1, 2019): online-online.
Rao, Sathya, and Jillian Broadbear. “Borderline Personality Disorder and Depressive Disorder.” Australasian Psychiatry: Bulletin of Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists 27, no. 6 (December 2019): 573-77. doi.org/10.1177/1039856219878643.
Shah, Ravi, and Mary C. Zanarini. “Comorbidity of Borderline Personality Disorder: Current Status and Future Directions.” The Psychiatric Clinics of North America 41, no. 4 (December 2018): 583-93. doi.org/10.1016/j.psc.2018.07....
Videler, Arjan C., Joost Hutsebaut, Julie E. M. Schulkens, Sjacko Sobczak, and Sebastiaan P. J. van Alphen. “A Life Span Perspective on Borderline Personality Disorder.” Current Psychiatry Reports 21, no. 7 (2019): 51. doi.org/10.1007/s11920-019-10....
Zimmerman, Mark, and Theresa A. Morgan. “The Relationship between Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder.” Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience 15, no. 2 (June 2013): 155-69.
Video by Dr. Dawn Elise Snipes on integrative behavioral health approaches including counseling techniques and skills for improving mental health and reducing mental illness.
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Thank you, I feel comforted when you mentioned "traits developed to survive". Absolutely on point
Thank you so much for watching. What is your favorite tip from the video?
They make me feel weak it’s not effective.
So validating. As a child frustration and meltdowns were met with verbal abuse or physical abuse and a good helping of shaming. As an adult I feel like I'm not "allowed" to be angry or unhappy regardless of how good of a reason i have to feel that way, doesnt matter "I'm not allowed!" But everyone else is more than welcome to be angry, hateful, vindictive and it's always ok and valid for them and I must be submissive and docile and fix everything cause their anger IS MY FaULT somehow🤷♀️
I appreciate you watching.
I fully understand how you feel. It was the same for me. And the scary thing is, eve though ive done two years of CBT, and there was a lot kf discussion about my inner child, there was no talk about trauma and learning how to re-parent my inner child. Im only now hitting upon this information amd its groundbreaking because i had NEVER thought of the things i have gone through as a kid as traumatic. But, like you, i was not allowed to be sad, id get in trouble and yelled at and told I didnt know jesus and was being controllled by the devil, i wasnt allowed to laugh or be too happy, the my dad would yell at me and tell me i had no self control. I wasnt allowed to feel angry, because then id get a good beating. I wasnt allowed to look my parents in the eye, because i did that ince and my dad beat the sh*t out of me for "looking at him badly". Whenever i tried to tall about something that bothered me or hurt me to my mother, she would incalidaye all of those feelings, it was always my own fault because i "let" people get to me and if i "knew god" i would be happy no matter what happened. If i tried to challenge that and reassert that i felt vulnerable and tried to look to her for comfort, i would not get it, instead, she wpuld take it upon herself to ... as my child brain thought of it... "prick" me with "needles", or comments and challenges that essentially onvalidated my every feeling and made fun of me for feeling sad or the pike, if i started to get angry because of her "pricking" she would laugh st me and tell me that my "skin is too thin". I would start screaming and grabbing at my head, crying, asking her to please just stop or shut up or leave me alone and she wpuld not, she would continue and this was a common thing that happened. Thinking back, i remember vividly how extremely distressing it was and how dysregulated i became. And, the thing about ut, is that my mother was the nice one. My father, i am surr, has some kind of personality disorder, he is abusove to my mother and was emptionally and physically abusive to me, but not in big eough ways to be able to call the police. I was deathly afraid of him, i still am. I would be home, watching tv or colouring and the moment my dad pulled into the driveway, my heart would begin racing, id feel cold sweat, id dquickly gather all of my things and run, FAST, to my bedroom and lock myself inside there being very very quiet, so that i could avoid him. Because i never knew what could make him upset with me and it seemed anything could be a trigger, so i just didnt know.
Now i realised, 11 years after my BPD diagnosis and even with 2 years CBT, that the cause of my condition absolutely is the constant trauma i experienced because of my dysfunctional parents who had abusive tendencies and my mother who disregarded her every needs to accommodate the whims of my abusive father. I... hadnt even realised it was that bad... but it was. I need re-parenting. HOW do i heal my trauma??????
Yup same it's torture that is why I like being physically alone in the home because I can let my anger out what's funny is when I'm alone and can let my anger out I don't feel as angry lol
You just helped me understand something about my own experiences with my own anger!
Wow - thank you!
I hate feeling angry - I mean LOATHE AND DESPISE it. I get angry at the fact that I'm angry and become extremely distressed!
This stems from childhood and I couldn't see it before reading your comment.
Thankyou for articulating this I struggle with the same thing
I hope you know how appreciative we are for you and your videos. I was diagnosed w bpd last year and it made me feel so hopeless. Since I've found your videos that hopelessness has started to fade. I can't get dbt bc nowhere takes my insurance but I like to use your vids as tools to help me cope. It's hard and sometimes it feels like I'll never be able to change but I know that's not true. It takes hard work and self awareness to really start seeing a difference but I can definitely tell a difference in how I react to certain situations now compared to how I used to go into a full blown rage. Thank you Doc Snipes (sorry for lack of punctuation)
Good luck, dahlin, I hope that you are doing great and just wanted to boost ur comment on self awareness and acceptance.
I am so glad I have been able to help. Thanks for being here with the channel.
You are loveable
Keep going, you've got this 💪 It is hard work and you are so worth it
@@nath1284 thank you! I have 2 boys (was diagnosed after I had them or prob would have waited until I had better mental health) and they are my EVERYTHING. I haven't always been the best mom. When they were born I got hooked on opiates after leaving the hospital with a prescription. I'll have 2 years sober in October and doing everything in my power to be a better mom than my mom. I love my mom but she failed me. I WILL NOT fail my boys
After several attempts at therapy, I finally got the right diagnosis of BPD along with CPTSD. Finally beginning to understand and making small steps towards change. Thank you for the informative videos. I don't feel quite so broken now and believe that there is hope
Thanks for watching.
It is I sane how deeply accurate this is.
I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and my fiance shows all the signs of it but has yet to be assessed.
It is like you are explaining us in excruciating detail.
Thank you for watching. Here are some videos on BPD: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=BPD
and some on DBT:
ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=DBT
Im going through he'll with BPT at the moment, so thankyou so much for these videos. You have no idea how much it means that someone is trying to help and inform. It even just shows that by making these vids that people suffering feel validated. Much love. ❤
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
I'm part of a borderline family and found the Family Connections program fabulous. This workshop helped us gain the skills we needed to feel calm, connected and empowered. They talk about "fit' rather than blame, so some family dynamics are not the right for for the person struggling. Often the right fit can be created with insight, support and skill acquisition. I'd hate people to watch this and feel if they reach out for help they will be labelled abusive. That can be the case so we tend to focus so much on that we overlook the majority of well meaning but clueless others like myself.
Thank you so much for watching and for sharing. What is your favorite tip from the video?
This info is v helpful. I am normally calm but the way some people - (friends & family usually) interact with me can send me into a rage and I can’t function for the entire day and sometimes the following day. I can see how childhood conditions created this, and I see it similar to having a chronic health condition that I need to manage - because if I’m set off, I can lose days, weeks & months and likely years of productivity. I can’t fully control how other people behave towards me, but I can learn to set better boundaries for myself, be more assertive and be clearer about my wants, needs and rights. Because its generally when I’ve been overly nice to people for too long (which has been my default setting) that they start taking me for granted and seeing me as ‘less than’. Which now I find intolerable as that was the pattern of behaviour I grew up with from family and friends. And I’m well & truly over being treated like that.
Thank you Dr. Snipes for doing these videos on BPD. I have been diagnosed with BPD over 15 years ago. I have been through a DBT skills course and therapy over 12 years ago.
Through DBT skills course and therapy, I have learned the mindfulness, emotional regulation, and distress tolerance skills. Even with thesdoe skills, I act out in BPD behavior from time to time. When I feel triggered, I go from 0 to 200 within seconds either with anger or self-hatred.
Thank you so much for watching and for sharing, Bill. What tips from the video will you use first to address BPD?
You are so kind and understanding. I really wish more people would understand this disorder the way you do. Thank you.
You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=BPD
Thank you so much for this video and presentation. Probably the only presentation I've ever heard that didn't make a BPD feel like a worthless, horrible, dysfunctional basket case. It was delivered with so much grace and compassion, as well as enlightenment, edification and education!!!❤
You're so welcome!
OH MY WERD!
I’ve been following multiple doctors online regarding my BPD and CPTSD which I just learned about. You are my new professional. As you were speaking, I felt like you knew everything about me. Everything I’ve been through. Speaking on when I was young I created these habits to protect my stuff I still struggle with.
Thank you so much and please feel free to reach out. I am raising two children by myself and it has gotten very very difficult and I’m honestly scared for us. Thank you so much, Sam.
Glad the video was helpful. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness
This lecture was so validating! Thank you Dr Snipes. I was diagnosed with BPD in 2018 and then a year later PTSD, I knew there was a link between these yet my psychiatrist and psychologist treat me like they are separate. My treatment plan would benefit if either of them saw BPD traits as a trauma response. Maybe sometime soon, maybe
I appreciate you watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=DBTmadesimple
and
ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=PTSD
Yes a good resource is Dr Jessica Taylor and how she links BPD and trauma x
I have bpd. You made me feel so much better and I appreciate you so much.
I appreciate you watching. Other videos that might help can be found at: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=BPD
😅😅😅😅
Dr. Snipes… thank you. Yes I could see how looking over the glasses could be perceived as condescending when quite possibly someone is having visual issues. Similar like light sensitivity and the perception of glaring is construed as body language undefined. Interesting topics. These topics are so educational.🤔❤🇺🇸
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
The problem is not all people are the same. My ex with BPD diagnosis was triggered by everything. Showing her love, compassion and understanding … trigger, setting borders to protect my own sanity = trigger. Telling that I love her = trigger. Asking to go on vacation together = trigger. She was always between too much of of good thing and running away, triggered by her anxiety to be left alone. And many other anxieties she developed over the decades. With every lie she told she made her psychological space smaller and smaller until, there was nothing left over from being herself.
In the end I discovered this is exactly what both of my parents did with me. I am no longer willed to offer help, or understanding to a person who reacts always anti-social, and always gives me the feeling that I am the reason why she feels bad. Nonsense she feels bad 24/7 and it is her Job to go to a Trauma-Therapist.
As soon as I face the … „you are responsible for my happiness“ thing in the future I will immediately end the relationship because this is all projection from her childhood…😮… I know its an illness but from my experience, you need to be an BPD expert to handle this storm inside her. And I do NOT want to be the Therapist, I WANT to be the boyfriend. Impossible Relationship. Some people just do not like to be responsible for them self.
Thanks for watching and for sharing
Life is so damn painful with BPT, I feel like my skin is very thin and everything hurts to 11
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. Here are the videos on DBT to help: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=DBT
and here are the ones on BPD: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=BPD
i don't relate to every single thing you've said... but i've honestly never felt so understood in my life.... holy shit... Specifically this past year had me perpetually triggered & i could not figure out how to shut off my feelings & sensitivity.... like damn... i was constantly reactive and panicking allll the time because i thought one of my closest friends' toxic relationship was going to kill her.... like literally.... i've never seen anything like that situation up close.. i mean i did help, which she acknowledges some but she says i hurt too... i know my behavior was haywire & added stress to some already stressful shit. i was aware but couldn't turn that shit off & the fights we had reinforced insecurity & just perpetuated the problem.... it just really sucked... This person is the on who taught me about mindfulness & encouraged me to meditate & live a healthier lifestyle... to watch her be broken in the way she was was terrifying.... like... wtffffff.... we fell out & she won't talk to me right now anyway because she thinks im the toxic one......... like... yeah dude kinda, i agree somewhat but damn, I am definitely not the one that drove her to madness.. after everything has calmed donwn there seems to not be a grace for understanding from her though... that's hurtful and definitely triggers thoughts of unworthiness in me... i understand she's trying to heal & still figure out her own space and same for me.... so i guess i get it... for the record, if she had't taught me some of what you've mentioned for coping prior to this whole situation i'd probably be dead from a deep depression i was in right before this shit and i sure as hell wouldn't be as "stable" as i am right now with this situation if i hadn't learned from her prior to it! that's so wild to me...... it's been months & it still hurts like hell.... but through darkness comes light right? My homie is happier now thought from what i've heard so i'm really glad for her & i'm working my ass off to achieve the same... i do worry because apparently she still talks to the dude but i know a healthy boundary for myself needs to be stronger than my empathy right now... it feels weird to say that... but how could i be any good for anyone else if i cant even help myself fully, you know?
anyway, thank you so much for these vides... it just really feels validating to be heard & understood... and to know i can fix it eventually.. . thank you.
You’re welcome. I appreciate you watching
Thank you for your awareness and compassion for those of us with these traits and the recognition and validation that they make sense based on life experiences.
It is very, very hard to trust the help offered by those who say they understand but clearly don't. But because of your very real, visceral understanding inspires confidence that there actually is real hope and help.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you
You’re most welcome. I appreciate you watching. Other videos that might help can be found at: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=BPD
Ohmygoodness!! Bless your heart! Know that you are loved and appreciated!!! Wishing you much comfort & love during this difficult time for you! ❤️
I appreciate you watching
I have BPD and to date, this is by far the most helpful video I have come across and I just can’t thank you enough for helping put it in perspective like that
You’re most welcome. Thank you for watching the video. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=BPD
Hi,I am 17 years old,I have been diagnosed with bpd, I learnt a lot from this video,thanks mam❤
Thank you for watching the video. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=BPD
This video is like a miracle. Thank you ♡
You’re so very welcome. Other videos that might help can be found at: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=BPD
It’s hard to finish this and I’ve tried several times to do it. Sometimes I think it’s sad to watch. But it’s very helpful. And she’s very warm to the person that’s hurting / suffering, and tries to make you feel like you’re in a safe place. I wish every mind doctor was like Doc Snipes.
Thank you for watching the video
This video has genuinely touched me - it's one of the best I've seen on this topic. Lately, life has been pretty tough. I grew up in an abusive family, and now my current partner's actions often bring back those painful memories from my childhood. It's a chance to heal, no doubt, but it's also incredibly hard to manage as an adult. Finding a therapist who specializes in BPD and can guide me through this journey seems like an uphill battle. Your video gives me a ray of hope and understanding. It's like you're shedding light on the path ahead, helping me make sense of things as I try to heal and carve my own place in this world. I want to sincerely thank you for creating this amazing video and explaining these intricate concepts in such a relatable way!
You’re so welcome! I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate your kind words and you watching the video. I am sorry you are struggling to cope with BPD. If you’re interested in videos on the subject, you can find more at: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=BPD
Glad i found your channel,deep gratitude
So glad! Thanks for being here!
Thank you!!! I genuinely appreciate you and your time! Very very impactful and helpful. ✨💕✨💕✨💕✨💕✨💕✨
I appreciate you watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=DBTmadesimple
This is both very hopeful and helpful. Many thanks!
So welcome! I appreciate you watching
Being "Diagnosed" with Bipolar 2 / CPTSD / From Trauma / Abuse - To Diagnosed with BPT / BTD - The Struggles!!! What are the ANSWERS? For MYSELF? Both Being SO SIMILAR -! And Compounded With CPTSD! - In Therapy - Mine Started With "Child Abandomentt" I was 10 - Happy Family - Loving Mom & Dad Siblings - DAD Leaves No Communication Lives with Mom ( She Is Never Home ) Daddy's Little Girl To Daddy's Nothing! Feeling Unsafe - Not Protected - Not LOVED - Unwanted - MOM finds her "Freedom" Abandons US Children... Like We ARE NOTHING!!! No FOOD ELECTRICITY WATER - CLEAN CLOTHES - CAN ONLY EAT AT SCHOOL ( FREE ) DUE TO SET UP AT SCHOOL FOR LOW INCOME FAMILIES - BREAKFAST AND LUNCH - NO SUPPER NO FOOD AT HOME -- NO FOOD ON THE WEEKENDS - HINTING TO FAMILIES / NEIGHBORS YOUR HUNGRY - FOLLOWING YOUR FRIENDS HOME AT SUPPER TIME LUNCH TIME ETC HOPING TO BE INVITED IN TO EAT... BULLIED AT SCHOOL BECAUSE YOUR CLOTHES STINK TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE THE WASHER OR DRYER WHEN RANDOMLY YOUR WATER ETC IS BACK ON ... BUT CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT... NOR CAN YOU CONTROL ANYTHING AND CONSTANTLY BEING THE "MOM" PROTECTOR OF YOUR YOUNGER 2 SIBS BRO AND SIS MAKING SURE THEY GOT UP TO GO TO SCHOOL AND TO HAVE BREAKFAST AND LUNCH! FINDING CLOTHES THAT WERE BURIED UNDER OTHER DIRTY CLOTHES FOR THEM TO WEAR AND YOURSELF.... FEELING VERY SCARED BUT SEEING YOUR YOUNGER SIBS SCARED SO YOU STAY STRONG OR TRY TO ... MOM COMES HOME VERY RANDOMLY NOT SPEAKING TO US WITH TAKE OUT FOOD IN HER HAND FROM WORK GOING TO HER ROOM NOT GIVING US NOTHING LOCKING US OUT...!!!! SLEEP WAKE UP WALK OUT NO LOVE NO NOTHING!! RANDOMLY FAMILY DROPPING OFF SOME FOOD ON MY MOM'S SIDE THAT KNEWWW THIS WAS GOING ON DAD'S SIDE DIDN'T DAD DIDN'T EVEN CHECK OR SEE OR COME BY! YOUR 10 YOUR LITTLE BROTHER IS 9 YOUR LITTLE SISTER IS 6 ... AGE 12 MY GRANDMOTHER ADOPTS ME - SHOWS ME LOVE!!! AS SHE ALWAYS DID... HER BOYFRIEND IS SO NICE TO ME AND LOVING BUT ENDS UP S/A'ING ME -- WHEN I MOVE IN! I TELL AND TELL NOBODY LISTENS THIS IS THE LATE 70'S PEOPLE ARE NOT AWARE OF THIS THEN... I AM LYING THEY SAY ... MY GRANDMOTHER CATCHES HER BOYFRIEND IN THE ACT! KICKS HIM OUT... BUT THIS MUST NOT BE EVER MENTIONED - OLD SCHOOL - I DON'T BLAME MY GRANDMOTHER!!!! I GET IT... BRUSH THIS UNDER THE RUG... BEING SO PROTECTED AND LOVED BY MY GRANDMOTHER AND HAVING CONSTANT ATTENTION I DO NOT BELIEVE NOR DO I REMEMBER MY BPD COMING OUT UNTIL MY LATE TEENS - THE CHILD S/A STOPPED AT AGE 14 MET MY FIRST LOVE / LOST VIRGINITY AT AGE 15 - HE WAS 18 I TURNED 16 RIGHT AFTER - LOOKING BACK OMG!!!! IF I DIDN'T GET CONSTANT ATTENTION - JUST OBSESSED WITH NEEDING THAT CONSTANT REASSURANCE THAT LITERALLY DROVE HIM AWAY WHEN I WAS 18 .. WHERE HE DID SHOW ME ALL THAT! BUT I DIDN'T THINK OR RECOGNIZE THEN ON INTO ALL MY RELATIONSHIPS THE SAME BEHAVIOR TO WHERE IT GOT INTO ANGER BAD DESTRUCTIVE ANGER PHYSICALLY EVEN... IN A SPLIT SECOND... 0-100 -- WHAM!! SO ANGRY I LOST TIME EVEN AND DIDN'T REMEMBER IT ALL...
I AM NOW 55 SOON 56 - NEVER HAVE HAD A "STABLE" RELATIONSHIP DUE TO MY NOT TRUSTING ANGER ABANDONMENT ISSUES CRYING CONFUSED SO MANY EMOTIONS -- NOT ONE!!! I DROVE THEM CRAZY I KNOW THAT NOW!!! AND THUS I DO NOT SEEK OUT RELATIONSHIPS ANY LONGER BUT NOT JUST FOR THAT REASON - I WAS GANG SA'D BY 3 GUYS AGE 19 --- I HAVE BEEN IN 2 DV/SA BRUTALLY VIOLENT EMOTIONAL MENTAL RELATIONSHIPS -- THUS MAKING MY BPD CPTSD UNBEARABLE... THEN AS MY 27 YEAR OLD SON WAS GETTING INTO HIS TEENS HE WAS ALL I HAD!!!!! MY ONE "CONSTANT"
THAT SHOWED ME TRUE LOVE / MY BEST FRIEND / MY EVERYTHING / THE FEAR OF HIM EVER LEAVING ME WAS UNBEARABLE..... TO EVEN THINK ABOUT .... I DID THESE SAME THINGS TO HIM AND STILL DO TO GET HIS ATTENTION OR PROMISE ME HE LOVES ME ... NEEDING TO GO TO EXTREMES TO GET HIS ATTENTION - THREATENING OR HARMING MYSELF TO GET THAT... GUILTING HIM ( NOW MY BEHAVIOR HAS CAUSED HIM TO HAVE BAD ANXIETY DEPRESSION AND PTSD ) WHICH HAS DRASTICALLY AFFECTED HIS LIFE! ( I HATE MYSELF I AM DISGUSTED BY MYSELF I CAN'T FORGIVE MYSELF ) EVEN THOUGH HE DOES AND SAYS MOM, YOUR A GOOD MOM YOU HAVE ALWAYS SHOWN ME LOVE AND TAUGHT ME TO BE A STRONG GOOD PERSON... YOUR MY BEST FRIEND I CAN TALK TO YOU ABOUT ANYTHING YOU SUPPORT ME IN LIFE YOU BELIEVE IN ME YOU COMFORT ME YOUR ALWAYS THERE FOR ME... STOP FEELING GUILTY STOP BLAMING YOURSELF BECAUSE I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR ANYTHING... I KNOW YOU I KNOW YOU VERY WELL I KNOW HOW YOU ARE I KNOW YOUR BEHAVIOR YOUR LOVING SIDE YOUR ANGRY SIDE AND WHY ETC ETC .... BUT STILL I DO THIS TO HIM TO BE REASSURED THAT HE LOVES ME ANYTHING TO GET HIS ATTENTION ... NOT CONSTANTLY BUT I DO IT... AND I DON'T WANT TO DO IT NO MORE..... I DON'T WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS NO MORE.... ITS OVERWHELMING TO LIVE LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME... CRYING AND CRYING ANGRY LOVING EMOTIONS ALL OVER THE PLACE LIKE WHO AM I AT TIMES LIKE WHO AM I REALLY? THEN I REMIND MYSELF TONYA YOUR A GOOD PERSON YOU HAVE A HUGE HEART YOU WANT TO HELP EVERYONE... YOUR A GOOD MOM YOU HAVE A UNIQUE PERSONALITY SILLY GOOFY SARCASTIC WEIRD SENSE OF HUMOR PEOPLE DON'T ALWAYS UNDERSTAND YOU - WHICH IS FINE... BUT THOSE THAT DO AND ARE YOUR TRUE FRIENDS LOVE YOU... YOU WEAR YOUR HEART ON YOUR SLEEVE - YOU DON'T LIKE SEEING PEOPLE IN PAIN YOU HELP OR TRY TO HELP - YOUR LOVED - AND I HAVE TO WRITE THESE THINGS DOWN AND MORE TO REMIND MYSELF THAT I AM VALUED LOVED ACCEPTED
This is the first lecture on BPD that I listen to, because I thought I might have it. I have to pause this video every 10 minutes, because it's so hard to listen to. Because everything makes sense. Will go to the doctor today itself. Thank you for this lecture!
You’re so welcome. I am glad the video was helpful and I appreciate you watching it
Thank you Dr. Snipes. You're a fantastic person for the support you're offering people. I tend to shriek away from knowledge regarding BPD despite the amount it could help me. When I was diagnosed, I had researched just enough to gather a basic understanding. Over time that understanding has expanded, however I tend to choose as little expansion as possible. Learning about BPD just...makes me hate myself even more, despite knowing the benefits.
Thank you so much for your kind words and thank you for watching. Here are videos on BPD, if you want to know more abomination it ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=BPD
Here are videos on DBT : ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=DBT
What are the benefits to hating yourself?
May you love yourself even more for what you must have endured 😊
your approach is so comforting. usually i feel guilty for the way i feel, my thinking and my reactions. but the way you talk about it helps me realize that most of it is not my fault, i was just shaped by the environment i grew up in, i didnt have a choice. thank you so much, God bless you
You are so welcome. Thanks for watching
You work very hard Doc. Thank you.
I try. Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
Somebody give this woman an Academy Award.! Only 15 minutes in and i feel like she’s literally giving a sparknotes summary of my entire childhood-to-present. 🙏🏽 Thank you so much for this video!!!!
You’re most welcome. Thanks for watching
Thank-you! Doctor Donnelly Snipes🙋♀️ This video was truly a gift🎀
I appreciate you watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=DBT
Thank you for this extremely informative video. I have BPD, C-PTSD, anxiety, and depression. My childhood if you call ot that was filled with abuse and trauma. I have always struggled to know who I am, what I like or don't like. I've always adopted those from people around me because I have very little sense of self. I've been in therapy for decades trying to manage my symptoms and learn to self regulate. There is incredible stigma to this. Many times I feel like a failure and secretly hope, fantasize about dying which to me will finally give me peace. But I have kids, and a husband who say they love me so I go on and stay in therapy. It's so hard and I struggle most days but as they say keep on keeping on.
I am sorry you have gone through that and I appreciate you watching the video. I am glad to read you have people who love and support you.
Other videos you might be interested in can be found at ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=BPD
ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=DBT
ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=CPTSD
ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=anxiety
ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=depression
ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=trauma
I love your teaching style !! I learn a lot!!
Me too. 👍
TY
As a spouse, this is amazingly helpful. Thank you.
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?
Doc Snipes, thank you from the bottom of my heart, this was painfully illuminating.
You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?
@@DocSnipes It was quite validating and realizing the extent to which the damage was done.
@@DocSnipes The explanation that the way neurotransmitters and the brain chemistry itself changed (which explains a whole lot) - however, I wish there were more robust tools for changing these because for example breathing does absolutely nothing for me when I'm triggered (I did an hour of wim hof method yesterday when triggered - did nothing) and I've been running and weightlifting since I was in 8th grade, so my options for strengthening vagal tone and all that other stuff are quite slim.
I appreciate your video so much, thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
This has been a TREMENDOUS help for me! I work in CMH.. ❤ THANKS for the time you put in doing this.
You’re most welcome. Thank you for watching the video.
This is really important. Thanks so much!
I appreciate you watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at:
ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=Releasing%20trauma
Thank you so much Dr. Snipes 💓
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching. What was your favorite tip from the video?
@@DocSnipes what I'm afraid of and what do I need ? (Inner child)
Thank you. I appreciate this so much.
You’re so welcome. I am very grateful to be of help. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=BPD
ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=DBT
Thank you so very much. This video and information is spot on about mylife and me. I am forever grateful for this info. Sharing with my psychologist as well.
You are so welcome
Wouldn’t your psychologist be able to figure this out for you?
Thank You. A great Presentation.
Glad it was helpful! Thanks for watching.
I.. I’m already crying 😭 thank you
I am so sorry about that and I am grateful for you being here and watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=BPD
I finally understand what is going on in my head. All my childhood and adulthood. I need to go on some therapy.Thank you 😊
You’re most welcome. I appreciate you watching
Thank you Dr. Snipes for all the help that you give through your videos. I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality over 15 years ago and went through Dialectical Behavioral Therapy over 12 years ago. I agree with you that Borderline Personality is not a disorder but rather a series of symptoms or traits. Thank you for talking about both the therapeutic and prescription recovery.
You’re so welcome, Bill. Thank you for watching. Thank you so much for watching. What tip from the video will you use first to address BPD?
@@DocSnipes
Thank you Dr. Snipes. I like the way that you keep stressing mindfulness and the wise mind. I find that without mindfulness none of the other DBT skills would work.
Love from Egypt all the way to you Dr Snipes
Very useful insights and knowledge
Sending back the love. Thank you so much for watching. What tips from the video will you use to treat BPD?
Thank you so much for this video
You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=BPD
i love this trauma-informed approach
Thank you for watching
Becoming aware we can repair! Thanks Doc Snipes. I have been able to alter my thinking a great deal. Allowing all the emotion was terrifying but I survived! Integrating the traumas that were repressed a lifetime is ongoing, but so much has been alchemised already. Moving forward into a self acceptance grey area of thinking isn’t always comfortable, but it is necessary.
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video and am grateful to be part of your journey. What did you find most useful from the video?
@@DocSnipes I think the part that hit home for me was the part where you explained about the physical changes that happen in the brain that can occur due to early trauma.
Dr Snipes, is BPD common in adoptees? I am an adoptee and what I am hearing from you is like you were looking deep into my soul. My greatest fear is abandonment and rejection. I feel like nothing, like an unworthy, unlovable person. I'm interested if we adoptees are commonly developing BPD and do we/I have any chance to live a normal life? I want to be able to control my impulsivity, not scare my adored kids and husband. I am amazed by your presentation and it gives me some sort of comfort and explanation for my behavior and feelings. Thank you so much for your wonderful work!!!!!!💗
You’re most welcome. I appreciate you watching. Here’s a study to better answer your question: pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25752207/
I remember I was ten and I was terrified of going to sleep and waking up alone. I have so many symptoms from a life of trauma and addiction to pain. I’m so sad I may have passed this on to my children , I’ll spend the rest of my life working on myself and being a present mom thanks so much i really I liked your video !
I am sorry you went through a life of trauma and addiction and pain and I am grateful to be of service. Thank you so much for watching my videos
@@DocSnipes does God still love the borderline I’ve watched videos which say we are condemned
Thank you!
You're welcome!
I have been out of DBT therapy for about 10 years and have been unable to get back into therapy. Thank you for your videos Dr. Snipes. I have found them to be extremely helpful tools.
You’re so welcome. I am sorry you were unable to get back into therapy. What is your favorite tip from the video?
My favorite distress tolerance skill is self soothing. I do this by listening to music or by burning incense. I also agree that it is helpful to separate from vulnerabilities through using mindfulness.
Thank you...I think I have this...and the majority of what I heard on this video resonates with my life experience as a child. Will be sharing this video to others to see if it resonates with them as well. Thank you again.
You’re so welcome, Joshua! Thank you so very much for watching and for sharing. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=BPD
This is amazing! It puts what’s going on into perspective ❤
I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?
@@DocSnipes I have childhood trauma and never realized there was a connection to not being able to regulate my moods. I am not diagnosed but thinking I may have BPD
A condition that comes from years of gaslighting and neglect and youre blamed and targeted for life. This is also continued by the mental health system. Treatment is expensive and medicaid doctors scapegoat and "refer you out" to the least qualified services.
🎯
This.
If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger than we are the bloody Hulks.
@@evadebruijn 🔥👍
Actually, all one has to do is buy a book n join a group. Pretty cheap honestly.
@@GgZoo-iK3to esier said than done
Thank you again! Barbara Russell
Welcome
Thank you Doc Snipes, we love your compassion.
Much appreciated
Thank you so much ♡
So welcome
I have fibromyalgia and my mother had borderline personality disorder REP.. it makes sense what u say about pain in the body.. thank u for this video.
You’re so welcome. What are you doing to cope with fibromyalgia?
@@DocSnipes I had to Writte my emotions they were buried inside my heart. Had to forgive my self and others.. surprisingly, when I did that my symptoms and my pain reduced. I also pray and exercise.. I’m not too big on meds fibromyalgia meds can really make you gain weight so what I use is ibuprofen 800, methocarbamol 750 and Tylenol for pain
@@mexicanbeautyqueen7988retraining your nervous system will help you recover from fibro. I had a few chronic illnesses . Look up different retraining programs . I used dnrs
Good morning Dr. Snipes.
My name is Sam.
I commented on your recent UA-cam video (A trauma informed approach to treating borderline personality disorder)
regarding how helpful it was to me.
And to label it Borderline personality traits was very helpful as I fully agree. It’s certainly not a disorder rather something that was used in the past that now needs to be regulated.
We live in the Boise/treasure Valley area in Idaho and was wondering if you had a referral in this area?
As i mentioned in the comment on UA-cam, I’m raising two children by myself a full-time father who has a full-time job and I’m finding it very difficult as the months go by and they get older and older to regulate.
We very much appreciation your time and anything you can do to help us out referral wise.
The way you nailed everything on the head for me was very comforting and would like to know your opinion on a possible counselor with a similar perspective.
I need your help you are the only one who completely understands my life. 😢 I need your help to heal so bad.
Thank you for watching the video. You can contact me at: support@allceus.com
Doc Snipes, I think you were watching our family from the 60's to the present. 🤣🤣🤣 Seriously, I'm grateful I found you.
😀😀
Great video wish I watched it before it hit the fan!!
Thank you for watching the video
Thanks!
You’re welcome! Thanks for watching!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! ❤
You are so welcome! Thank you for watching the video
@DocSnipes I read an article referring to Spitzer, that in the earlist edition of the DSM, instead of all of these being referred to as "Disorders", they were referred to as "Reactions", like "Post Traumatic Stress Reaction", which is exactly what it is.
Can you imagine the difference that would have made had it remained? And it doesn't feel like a mistake or oversight that it got changed. It makes my heart very sad.
Thank you so much💗
You are so welcome
Very very helpful ❤
I'm so glad! Thank you for watching it. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=trauma
Hi your videos are so helpful and informative. I'm 21 and had developed BPD traits because of the toxic environment I was raised in and didn't know what was wrong with me and why I did what I did until I watched your videos. I hope you are being rewarded greatly for spreading these information. I don't know how to truelly thank you
Thank you. I am grateful to be of service
one side note! is there any way to get your power point? there are many things I want to take note of so I thought perhaps I could get it directly from yourself !@@DocSnipes
@@DocSnipes another question that I had is that is it possible for me to access the power point you were teaching from? since I wanted to take notes but thought to myself how wonderful it'll be if I could just have the power point save myself some time (I think you already know I have problem with time manageing)
I'm very sympathetic towards people with BPD. Untreated they should stay away from relationships as they can wreck lives
I appreciate you watching
Very informative. While listening to this I think that some role play examples, concrete examples of interventions might be enlightening and helpful too.
Totally agree on the symptoms, like with C- PTSD once you know what to look for you can then attempt to rectify, here i still feel a sufferer should gain some knowledge in psychology especially their condition, besides also nutrition which plays a largely neglected part, for example low testosterone levels can be a factor, reasons however for that could be a subconscious supression in fawning behaviour in a threatening environment, here in even raising T levels can face a problem of DHT increase leading to more accute negative behaviour, here amongst other things DHT blockers ( pumpkin seeds, spinach - keeping it natural.), Also the viewing of the behaviour/s from the view of the 4 year old subconscious is something not to ignore, as that in a long run will change the neuroplasticity. I also agree on rectifying brain structures to modify and correct, with a holistic approach including knowing what to look for, wanting to replace it, knowing what to replace saide behaviour with - eg time management, budgeting and other skills thought may help, this besides a specific nutrition diet - ( could be testosterone could be omega 3, perhaps the ROS level.
I heard mine were a little high for a female. I wonder what effects that causes (mentally). Thanks for the food for thought.
I’m a nurse and I didn’t know I had BPT.
You have an honorable job. I am so sorry you are struggling with BPD. What did you find most useful from it?
MY AGGRESSIVE ATTITUDE IS AN ATTEMPT TO KEEP PEOPLE AWAY FROM ME SO I WONT GET HURT.
Thank you so much for watching. What tips from the video will you use to address that?
I’m dealing with this right now and trying to save my marriage and family life. It feels horrible going through this but it’s comforting that I can start to understand that it wasn’t my fault and how to work to get better
I am sorry you are going through this and I appreciate you watching the video. What tips will you use first?
I have had family members who sit around and ask if my aunt who is a clinically paranoid schizophrenic chooses to be. She’s had to be hospitalized. I have had severe neglect from those same people!
The worst part is, they don’t see that the rest of the world doesn’t really like them even when they are mentally sound!
I am disappointed by society. The only people I had in my life to show normalcy are dead.
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video
I really appreciate your humanization of this diagnosis that so often becomes an excuse for therapists to abuse their patients. A few thoughts: Drop the name. Borderline was used in the 1920s when the Freudian categories neurosis vs psychosis reigned supreme. The issues that come up with the diagnosis you are talking about didn’t fit into either category, so the issue became borderline psychotic. That name alone is enough to create an abusive situation for the patient. Drop BPT. Another problem is with the DSM criteria. Yes, we can see these criteria in patients, but put together, they don’t really paint a picture of the whole person. The criteria are dehumanizing. Find better criteria for the DSM. Regarding DBT, it’s a nice adjunct. It’s not good trauma therapy, because it involves behavior modification, not working and coming to terms with previous events that cause the problems of the present. DBT is no panacea, and in fact can be quite harmful. I think the only patients it really serves are not the ones who are outpatient severely mentally ill, but people with some self-harm issues who are generally more easy to deal with. In summary, it’s a BS diagnosis with BS criteria and BS treatment. Take every BPT patient you have and give them complex PTSD treatment.
Thank you for watching and sharing your suggestions. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=DBTmadesimple
Thanks
Have a good afternoon
Barbara H
In elementary i was terrified thinking my parents were going to abandon me idk why I always thought that way
I am sorry about that
I wanna cry. I thought it was just my personality. I just knew about this BPD and, I realized that it was because of my upbringing 😭
I'll try my best to get better😭
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
Beautiful
I appreciate you watching.
Idk why “the feeling of not being worthy of being taken care of” made me cry so hard being left in foster care due to the extreme neglect and abuse including getting me on meth by 13 and not letting us eat for days if sick cuz “you’ll puke and waste the food anyways” and beating my puking sister for stealing some of my mac n cheese after 2 days of nothing I literally can’t even eat that anymore cuz I’ll get sick thinking about it she was 11…
That’s awful and I am sorry it happened to you. I am grateful for you, for watching the video
Thank you, Dr. Snipes, @11:07 is absolutely correct in my life. You are only as good as your last function. My Mother was married to my abusive, horrible, gambling, drunk father and so I became her companion (She wouldn't tell anyone she was abused, so guess who became the confidant) I have been paying bills since I was like 11yrs old, most kids I knew didn't know where the electric company or their parent's bank was located. I knew the tellers by name. I feel bad because I feel robbed, but what else was I supposed to do, my Mother worked and had to do it alone, while getting beat the f*ck up every other day. So, I became the guardian (Little Brother) and the child that was mature enough to handle adult things, still, I am expected to "Solve" problems for my family, if I refuse then I am ridiculed...
I love that the brain can be retired to help people struggling with BPD/BPT.
@Amelia Cook Borderline Personality Traits.
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
Doc Snipes,’could you please do a video on PMDD, many women who have this serious condition are misdiagnosed with bipolar as it is very similar but only occurs from luteal phase to period. It has ruled my life for many years and it is awful :(
Hormones can be true demons!
🍀🍀🍀🤗🍀🍀🍀
Yesss please!!
Trauma informed care is not available to most.
I appreciate you watching
No matter how many videos I watch or therapy sessions I do or psych wards I’m in or meds I take, I still just want to die.
Same
And yet you are still standing
Keep the faith 💪
❤️🤗❤️✌️
my sister with bpt/bpd jumps immediately to strangling me, even as recently as pandemic. the first time she was violent against me, she pushed me off a balcony. she never apologizes and although im sure she is suffering a lot, it is extremely damaging to me to be assaulted everytime she is triggered. and my mom always says i “provoke her” which is crap and anyway it’s funny that my abuser gets a diagnosis of BPD but it’s impossible for me in the US to get a CPTSD diagnosis.
Sorry to hear you had to go through that. Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
I completely understand. My ex husband gave me syphilis while pregnant I was hospitalized for 93 days. Eventually HE told my doctors what was wrong with me because he'd been treated 4-5 months prior. That was the beginning. He bullied me out of the house, changed the locks leaving me and our kids to stay in homeless housing (for about 2 years). He stole my computer so I couldn't work. And threw away our stillborn son's belongings (hand/footprints, hat, blanket) when he was legally ordered to give them to me. This is only a FRACTION of what he put me through YET I was never even offered an evaluation of PTSD or CPTSD!
Her throwing you out of the balcony has nothing to do with BPD. The diagnosis usually doesn't involve lashing out and being violent towards others.
@@lunalu552 externalizing happens with bpd and my sister does a lot of it. she found out she could get away with it early on so she does it. if anyone with bpd finds out they are more successful using another person as a punching bag rather than harming themselves, they would totally just go with the punching bag. that way they dont have to turn it on themselves, they can just blame another person.
@@lunalu552 also bpd and narcissistic pd are both cluster b. imagine someone with bpd who leans narcissistic. thats my sister. please think again before trying to negate someone’s experience. this has been my whole life, and ive been dealing with it for 30 years. do you really think you know better?
Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez. Thank you. 💛
You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching the video. What did you find most helpful from it?
I REMEMBERED A YEAR AGO VERY CLEARLY OVERHEARING MY BIG BROTHER AND HIS WIFE TALKING ABOUT ME TO THEIR COMPANY AFTER ID LEFT THE ROOM. I Was 5 years old.🥺 I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY MY BIG BROTHER WASN'T DEFENDING ME. SO I BURST INTO TEARS AND THEY HAD TO STOP. AFTER THAT I PUT ON A TOUGH EXTERIOR AND BURIED MY EMOTIONS.
in the late 60's my mom's Dr. Suggested she throw a glass of water in my face if I was having a temper tantrum
I fell over backwards from a bar stool. NEVER DID IT AGAIN.
FOR THE LAST YEAR I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE THAT ARE INTENTIONALLY PUSHING ME TO THE EDGE EMOTIONALLY. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THEYRE DOING IT.
I am sorry that happened to you and I appreciate you being here. What was your favorite tip from the video?
Interesting
Thank you so much for watching. What is your favorite tip from the video, a tip you find extremely helpful in treating BPD?
i was my moms caretaker as a child. she was disabled and needed my help even using the bathroom, she was emotionally and physically abusive when she was stressed due to her disability. now idk who i am if i have no one to do things for to validate who i feel like i am..
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching
Yes yes yes
Good morning from Barbara H
What makes a child loveable is that they're a unique amazing human being. people have no issue with that, but when it comes to an adult, I've noticed many seem unable to accept that. It's as if we're conditionned by then to be seen as commodity. Can only accept to be appreciated and loved for what we do. People are asking, but what are the characteristics you love in me. Give them a list and they're beaming. Tell them, no specific reason, I love you just because and they frown, tell them the truth, I love you because you are the one that showed up in front of my eyes and my heart happens to beat faster for you, somehow. I can't tel you why. And they're not one bit impressed by that lol, they want conditions. Ironically. Unconditional love is not receivable. There's no guarantee that comes with it so too risky to trust I guess.
Thanks for watching and for sharing