W/e u feel like . Keep on searching fun stuff to do . We all get to a point where everything looks boring dw! U will find something new soon . For me the gym works everytime (chemistry op , depression cant win my hormones 😂)
Well you're definitely wrong about one thing! You said you don't contribute anything to society, but you failed to realize that your videos help other people that are going through the same thing! I too have an overwhelming feeling of not belonging here, especially when I look around and see all the pain that people cause others to go through in the world! I haven't been happy for a very long time, but there are certain things that help me get through! Like watching your videos, animals and watching acts of kindness between other people as rare as they seem! I struggle with wondering what being here is all about, but internally I truly do feel like helping others in any way possible has something to do with it! So even if you aren't contributing to society through physical means, like working a job! I hope that someday you realize, that you do contribute in a bigger way, by touching people's souls with your videos! I'm not a religious person, but I do believe that there is a reason why we exist! To help other people and living things, even when we can't help ourselves! I don't know what the end game is, but I do believe you're on the right path when it comes to helping others, even if you don't feel that's true, I feel in my heart that it is! I know depression sucks and can be very overwhelming, but please don't ever think you don't contribute, because that's just not true!
Hey, you’re doing alright bro. You ARE contributing a lot to the mental health community. The one thing that has really helped my illness is coming to faith a few years ago. I was so angry at how the devil of this world deceives and tricks people. You have free-will so it’s up to you what to believe. As a Christian I am in the world but not of it 💚
I'm on disability too. And I have unspecified scitzophrenia. You belong in this world. It sucks to be disabled and to be on medicine has its good and bad but you have to stay positive. Don't let yourself die. Darkness is with everyone but that's besides the point. Don't ever think about bad things or negative things. I just drown myself in music and that usually keeps me feeling well.... if you need someone in your life, we're all here for you. Sick people and ill people are going to feel this way more than the people who aren't emotionally or mentally disturbed. So just live your life. Try to block out the negative energy with the things that bring you joy.
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I haven’t tried as many antipsychotics as you, but so many of them made me feel blank. Like nothing matter. Nothing sparked joy. Seroquel was the absolute worst for me, I was doing nothing, had the energy for nothing, and enjoyed absolutely nothing. The only medication that has helped is Geodon, or ziprasidone. It calms the hallucinations, mainly auditory. I’ve started playing videogames again, which I haven’t done in forever. Antipsychotics fucked me up for awhile, I get how you feel. You spoke my thoughts. It takes a long time to enjoy things again. It took me years. I genuinely hope this depression starts to look more positive, but it’s hard to think positive when nothing makes you happy. You seem to be a very strong person, remember your value most of all. No one is worthless.
i can relate a lot jacob, i deal with the same problems, im also on disability with schizo affective disorder. i feel a lot like im useless but think of someone with a physical illness that cant work and need medication, we have a mental illness and unable to live life as normal as others. be kind to yourself, or try
Anhedonia is the worst symptom of depression. Not being able to feel pleasure is very depressing. I try new things with the hope of enjoyment and building on experiences. But without a positive feedback loop it's hard to follow through with things hope can only get you to begin things it can't sustain you.
The limitations my neurology brings have been very hard for me to cope with as well. I hate that I can do the things others. I feel like I'm grieving the life I thought I'd have before the diagnosis. The low energy and fatigue is very debilitating as well, it's so hard to be nice to yourself about it when there's so much to get done. I can't engage in any of my hobbies right now either, because it feels just as stimulating as just laying in bed. I understand your sentiment of why am I even here? If I can't perform tasks or do things like my fellow humans, then what am I meant to be doing? I feel it's all getting worse with time despite all my efforts to battle my mental health
You do contribute. You helps others and their families with the same illness. More than most people achieve. If you want more, speak at high schools. Raise awareness. Hang in there.
I know how you feel man I've been feeling the same way for the past 9 months. My cat got super sick at the end of 2020 and had to be put to sleep and that put me in a depression that's gotten worse and worse. When I feel like I care all I feel is sadness. Most of the time I don't care about shit and don't feel anything though and I don't know which is worse tbh. Not feeling or caring about anything makes life not feel like life at all. But yeah your life does have a purpose you help people like you and me not feel alone with your videos. I appreciate it a lot.
One thing is for sure, you have helped alot of people with your videos and you should be proud of that! I've been watching your channel for years and I find it very gutsy the way you talk openly about your situations. I m pretty sure things will get better. And don't fall for the purpose trap, life just happens everything we do only brings out the next version of existence. Everything just happens .
Hi Jacob! I'm Schizophrenic as well and go to your discord chat. I don't pity you at all I find you very patient and strong. I have slight anhedonia and has some of the same things as well like just doing nothing sometimes. Fortunately for me art and science are my interests so I'm doing something about that. Again, I wish the best for you. 💞
Jacob, it's for a very good reason. Your dealing w alot that yes has to do w your brain and that can be verrry depressing. I struggle w depression on a lower level and even that is extremely difficult. I have to be careful bcuz then the evil forces can try n come for me. Through depression they come bcuz they know ur soul is vulnerable. 😞😠
Xanax helped me a lot with my anxiety I remember when my schizophrenia symptoms kicked in I was terrified of leaving my home but I’ve been doing way better latley even with my delusions and Hallucinations . I barley have them at all now along with anxiety attacks
Im on disability too i rearrange my room when i get the chance to and i feel really good having my head near a window is like a brain massage for my tinnitus lol but yea i just lay in bed or struggle to play games too /:
I understand you completely. I had so many meds and nothing really worked for me. You said you are despressed without a reason, i don't think that's true.. We live in a pandemic and world war 3 is still a option. It's just sad. Our system is fucked up and the world feels out of place. Everyone is expecting something from us. Even ourself. We expect we have to feel like we have a purpose or something we love to do.. we expect so much from ourself and i think we have to distance ourself from these thoughts that are pressed into us from soceity. We probably don't really have a purpose.. i sometimes try to see it like it's a miracle that we can live. feel. see. The chances that we can exist are so low and still.. we do. I am trying to live in the "now". I was at my lowest and i still am sometimes but that's okay. and it's okay that you feel like that. for me personally it helped to meditate and read some books. If you like to read i would give you some recommedations: Eckart tolle - a new world. Eckart tolle- Now and "The Courage To Be Disliked - Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga" it actually helped me to change my point of view. And sorry for my english, i hope you understand everything. I am from germany ^^ i really wish you the best and we got that, don't lose hope. I'm fucking proud of you still being here
Wow.. going thru this rn. I am reading "The power of now" and meditating too. But for some reason I cannot get rid of thoughts like: "Is it worth something?" There is so much uncertainty going at the world.. at least for me. Greetings from argentina!
Its not depression you have in my opinion, I would say its rather kind of severe anhedonia and that can really make your everyday life much harder, eats you from inside and you tend to become flatter and flatter, almost nothing makes you pleasure and everyday life and things make you only annoyed. Hard to say if its because of your daily stress, combination of drugs you take or schizophrenia (mainly) itself. Think its combination of these factors. I´d consider taking some omega-3, vitamins (mainly B, D, E), zincum, magnesium etc. Also these months aren´t very good for lots of mental problems, got similar problem with this. But I definitely understand you with this...
Jacob, have you ever considered reading books on Dr Wayne Dyer or Louis Hay. Or better yet. Just a book. A subject you like. People can get lost in books and it educated the mind and its a healthy hobby. I can't say I know what you feel because I don't. What I can say is that nobody knows exactly how one feels. People can relate with eachother but no one walks in our own shoes our own story. I hope YOU know that you are worth it and everyone has a purpose. I know sometimes the mind drifts off and we ask ourselves these deep questions because the meaning of life is deep. The fact that your addressing how you feel not for the public but for Yourself!!! Makes you a hero in so many ways. You can do this, you got this. Sometimes the simplest answer I just to be... Sometimes the way we world things or our thoughts are so powerful. What about just waking up and saying to yourself in the mirror, " I got this, I am important, I am special, Toda will be a good day" Our minds are so powerful beyond any pharmaceutical medicine. You are here for a reason and you are blessed!!!!
I understand how you feel. What helps me is I try to let out my thoughts and feelings in the form of a story with different characters and setting but with the same feelings and thoughts I have. I write about a character who feels he has no purpose, is tired and exhausted and the stakes are high. The cool thing is, I shared what I wrote during that moment of purposelessness and stress with a friend, and I found that it was one of my friends favorites out of all the ones I wrote! Even the ones I wrote when I felt very positive! That made me feel very good about my story and myself, realizing my moments of purposelesness are meaningful to others! I hope this is helpful.
My life is changing ,have to change my living place and my mental health is worsening cause of it ,I hate to move in smaller place ,I feel suffocating ,scared that my depression will worsen
Keep your head up i know its hard i been in depression you just try stay active hobbies walking the dog or do legos do a crystal collection search for new things train a dog or train a cat stay active and keep your mind off your thoughts
Same! Video games aren't that good anymore and I get bored real fast. I feel you. Hope something comes around in your life and changes your awareness. Realize, just because you are here, even breathing, it makes the rest of the world better.
Ur going through a period of severe depression. I had it for like 2 years. Keep going to the psychiatrisc and be patient that it will pass just like mine did. Time and treatment and living heals it in a couple of years, no worries about that
Same boat ,disability ,med changes ,and lethargic depression ! Anti phsychotics seem to just suck life out ,that's my theory ..anyways, I like your videos . Very relatable
Hi Jacob. I really enjoy your videos. I suffer from schizophrenia as well and it takes it’s toll. I suggest you keep yourself occupied or find a community to belong to. Your videos help tremendously.
Hang on, you’re doing great. Even though I know you don’t feel that way. Depression really doesn’t have a why. It’s just there causing havoc in people’s lives. I think you have a very important purpose here on this planet. Look at all the comments here. People understanding what you’re going through and feeling like you understand what they’re going through. You’re building a community and that’s awesome! These videos are great for people like me that want to understand mental illness better to be a better support to a friend. I hope you get the meds sorted out and working better for you. Keep making videos. You got this! 🙂
Ive been feeling the same for a loooong time, recently the only place I found answers is on drugs... But I feel so separated from everything that surrounds me, its a wild battle and I don't even know what to tell you. Everything comes to an end, yeah the bad stuff too....
I feel depressed also my life changed a Lot with schizoprenia I miss my old life to be with meds make me feel no emotions I can not cry and I can not smile it sucks
Hi Jacob, thank you for your videos, they are very helpful, ( there is one of your purposes) , my son has similar issues, that i why i watch you , he takes citalopram, and antpsicotics, dr, told to go outside and get sunlight, and vitamin D, that helps..how is your cat?
I knew a guy like you that looked just like you and talked just like you and ignored me for years just like you until he finally opened a discord. But his name was ihave not Jacob.
Not a doctor or anything but it definitely sounds like you might have dysthymia my guy I suffer with it (properly diagnosed) , and a lot of what you say is very relatable I’d definitely talk to your psychiatrist about it x
Have you ever tried a stimulant? Like adderall or ritalin? I watched a couple of videos (a lot of videos actually) from people with schizophrenia and they all seem to not respond very well to schizophrenia medication so I was wondering if maybe taking a completely different medication could do something..
I have mental disease too. What really helps me is finding ways to work with my unconscious mind. For example, i set a count down timer and close my eyes with a goal to open exactly after 10 seconds pass. Or I walk on a street with closed eyes and set a target object I want to reach with my eyes closed. I also learn to trust myself more, think of any silly way that is gonna treat my disorder and accept it as effective way of dealing with it. And then I read on internet that those ways I discovered actually are proven to help. Cool stuff m8. Maybe embrace your unconscious mind more. God help you! :)
Thank you for sharing. Brave and honest and… painful. I don’t go through the same thing, but I learn so much from your videos and from the comments people leave here. I wish I could give back.
I used to be on Duloxetine, 60 mgs, and Amitriptyline, 75 mgs, and I felt blank of emotion. I am actually happier smoking weed, being off those antidepressants.
Hope you are feeling better. My theory is that the soul can only feel its worth when part of a community. Did you ever consider travelling and interviewing about mental health and the benefits of community. So much emphasis is on medication and not enough on community. I feel only admiration and inspiration watching your videos. You make known the reality of mental illness. Dignity, honesty, kindness, you have the whole package. You have been dealt a hard life and you chose to share! wow! You think! You are a bit of a philosopher. So many people don't think about the lot of others as you do. video games give a false sense of community. They are ok for relaxation but too much...? Maybe you are at a new stage in your video making career. Maybe going out there to establish the facts and find solutions is your next step?. I've found that many people with schizophrenia are exceptionally decent. Maybe the world needs to see this through the example of people like you. The world is a difficult place to navigate. Your decency rubs off on others and shape the world. I am certain of this. It is as inevitable as a chain reaction. It needs more like you. This can only happen if you remain part of this world and reach out to a community. Your decency has certainly given me hope that humanity can be decent even in the most difficult of circumstances. Perhaps little by little emerge into community. Your life makes a big difference. These are my thoughts.
Yeah but have you considered maybe trying to change things a bit? Your depression will last forever. Nothing will change. It's easy to relax and do nothing. And no problems will be solved. Nothing will change. Exert your self just a little. Do just one tiny thing which is different. Just one tiny thing.
I am a stoic philosopher and a trader. I would like to help you on your journey through life. But I am not sure that stoicism or trading is the right thing for you. What you feel is normal, it is not just related to your illness but also to your situation. I am not God, so I can’t change one or the other. But if you are stoic and work on yourself, you can overcome everything that fortune throws at you. (I like your videos, keep posting them. Thanks.)🙂
Life is about transcending. You find fulfillment in giving rather than receiving. Don’t be a consumer be a producer. Produce from your own creativity and force yourself into activities that require effort and sacrifice. This will add fulfillment into your life. Instead of playing video games design them. SNHU has degree programs to help. Think about the Nova documentary Augmented. There are areas in life that have gone no significant change for thousands of years. Artificial limbs is one of those. Not until this guy almost lost his life did he find purpose and an avenue that needed improvement. That is transcending. Doing something better or different than the status quo.
I believe you need a change of scenery Go camping or something and take away all the things you know you love for a while. When you come back youll fall in love with those things again. I'm on disability too and I know how shit it is, but changing my scene always helps just for a lil bit. Possibly get a dog, mine saved my life.
About your addiction to antipsychotics and antidepressants. There is such a thing as learned helplessness. You had some kind of life experience when you couldn't influence the circumstances. And you've been taught to think that you can't and shouldn't live without medication. Initially acquired expertise gained has great power, it is difficult to give it up. When you come to a psychiatrist and start talking about your problems, the psychiatrist should react. He is obliged to select medicines for you. In our hospitals, it often happens that a patient spends two or three months there, he does not feel any serious improvement, but he wants to return home, and he understands that he must tell the doctor that he feels well in order to leave the hospital. You won't feel good on neuroleptics. It's just never going to be like this! Find the strength to gradually reduce the dose of antipsychotics. And then completely abandon them. And you understand, the game is not an occupation. Occupation is work, it is study. You justify yourself by saying that you are sick. Stop taking neuroleptics and then decide how sick you are, so as not to study and not to work.
Wow, that´s an advice. Bravo. You are forgetting about one thing - Jacob at least once said in his videos, that even antipsychotics have lots of disadvantages, they help him not to halucinate so much etc. Better advice would be to consider find some good antidepressants, that give him some kind of "drive" that he lacks, to gain some energy and not to be always sedated under neuroleptics. But again, he is also very anxious, wouldn´t that be kind of risk of relapse for example? Your advice is dangerous and even when my opinion about neuroleptics is not very friendly, I just have to say your advice is just very dangerous hazard.
@@cynickej_pragmatik People always want to be like everyone else. If they would have told him - A guy, everyone sees such hallucinations, and everyone somehow understands it, and no one is afraid of it. You don't have to get hooked on drugs, you just have to live with it. I am sure that after crying a little, he would get used to such conditions and would live quite successfully without medication.
Hey Glum, To me you sound pissed off... You have a right to be. I know, I'm someone who has to deal with psychosis everyday like you do. How does my mind fuck with me on a daily basis: AVH. Auditory Verbal Hallucinations. They're not the kind of Flowery voices you hear about some people having in their head. They are antagonistic and there's nothing they won't say. I feel lucky that I recognized what was going on with me immediately back in 2013. I never mistook what I was hearing for maybe being the voices of demons, or aliens, or the CIA parked in a van down the street beaming a live audio stream into my brain using microwaves or something. I just knew that sometimes people's minds fail, or at least some part of them anyway. And I've been pissed off ever since. So yeah you have a right to not be happy. And to wonder why. You didn't ask the question out loud in this video, but you can hear it underneath the words you're saying and that question is why me? Besides the problem I have with my mind I have quite a few other situations in my life that are very difficult that I have to deal with everyday. One of them is my mother who is 83 and who I live with beginning to experience a real loss of cognitive clarity, her memory is failing her big time. This is really hard to deal with for me. She's my mom and of course I love her more than I love myself and to see her health going down like this is very difficult. I have other health issues... I can barely hear, I have major hearing loss in both ears. it's genetic, my mother also has the same situation going on. In the last couple of years my eyesight has degraded into a lousy situation. I'm not employed right now and I haven't been like a lot of folks for a couple years now so finances are all f***** up... Things have been better in my life. But the way I deal with it is to just sometimes look up towards the sky and tell God hey I appreciate the vote of confidence, I'm flattered you think so highly of me that you can put so many crosses on my back because I know you love me and you never put more on my plate than I can handle but come on give me a give me a break here. Dealing with psychosis is exhausting like you say. It does take a lot of energy for me just to not be pissed off all day long. Like I said earlier I live with my 83 old mother who's in the early stages of her life becoming more difficult because of dementia and so in my mind my job is to help her out much as possible try to make her days as Pleasant, happy as possible.... And I got to admit sometimes I don't do a very good job. I spend the whole day just cooped up with myself because I'm just so pissed off at my situation and the bullshit I'm hearing in my head. But hey she needs me. So I get past it, I forgive myself for maybe not doing everything I could the day before and I give it my best shot the following day. When you say nothing gives you happiness in this life nothing's fun anymore I don't hear you bringing up a lot of different subjects. They all seem to be expressions of: Video games don't make me jolly anymore. Well honestly I don't want to be rude or anything like that but I don't see how you could have ever been happy if that's all you've ever done. The older I get the more important it is for me to be living in such a way that I'm not focused on myself but actually thinking about trying to help out others like: My family and my friends, and maybe someday I can do more for other people... You know at a food bank, or helping build a habitat home. The older I get the less satisfying life is if I'm just focusing on myself. You find happiness in others, in serving... Well that's what is happening with me. And now I'm going to give you some advice that I need to head myself: Find somebody. If you think about it, unless you're the type of person who's inclined to be a monk or something like that... Life was meant to be shared with somebody. What good is a personal success, achievement unless you have someone to tell it to, to celebrate with. What good is it to go on a long road trip, to a town you never visited before for the weekend because you're feeling like you need a change of scenery, you need some fresh air, so you decide to throw a dart at the map of your home state and wherever it lands that's where you're heading... Doing something like this is very cool but how much fun can it be if there's no one else in the car with you, unless you have somebody to share the trip with? And are you're being honest with yourself about who's the right type of person is for you to hook up with. Don't ever worry about what the world thinks as it relates to who you're in love with. And don't take this next advice aa me being disrespectful or you know not recognizing how much your your cat who passed away meant to you... But I'm not noticing you having gotten a new cat/kitten... I think you should. Cats are very cool... And if you never find anybody to call your other half relationship-wise... You know your cat will always love you, like your cat that passed away did. Buck up. If you can't be happy be angry not sad... I'm hoping you're going to be happy. Take care.
You want some good advice…get off all meds except antipsychotic minimum. Be brave and accept the mood changes. The less meds your on the more your brain will compensate.
As someone who has experienced schizophrenia personally and have led a successful life despite the diagnosis I find it disrespectful that you would even comment. It’s sad that people like you exist.
Do you know how many phds have done nothing of value in this world? It’s in the millions. But if your powers of observation were working you’d realize that some of the most successful people in life who have made scientific progress did not have PhDs. Think Wright brothers, Elon Musk, Michael faraday, Steve Jobs the list goes on.
lookup ketamine and ask your doctor about it, its a new miracle cure for depression. However since it's so new many doctors can't prescribe it yet, but since it works so well there are clinics specifically meant for it.
@pinkdostoyevsky yea if you get it from a clinic, but you can also get it from the streets though it is rare because it's not very good to do recreationally. And some doctors can prescribe it for free. If any of your family members are veterinarians, the could also get it.
Long or shorter videos?
Longer if you want! Really is up to you but I’ll love to hear more from you you really have help me out you’re loved
Longer
W/e u feel like . Keep on searching fun stuff to do . We all get to a point where everything looks boring dw! U will find something new soon . For me the gym works everytime (chemistry op , depression cant win my hormones 😂)
whichever serves the topic at hand better
As long as you need.
Well you're definitely wrong about one thing!
You said you don't contribute anything to society, but you failed to realize that your videos help other people that are going through the same thing!
I too have an overwhelming feeling of not belonging here, especially when I look around and see all the pain that people cause others to go through in the world!
I haven't been happy for a very long time, but there are certain things that help me get through!
Like watching your videos, animals and watching acts of kindness between other people as rare as they seem!
I struggle with wondering what being here is all about, but internally I truly do feel like helping others in any way possible has something to do with it!
So even if you aren't contributing to society through physical means, like working a job!
I hope that someday you realize, that you do contribute in a bigger way, by touching people's souls with your videos!
I'm not a religious person, but I do believe that there is a reason why we exist!
To help other people and living things, even when we can't help ourselves!
I don't know what the end game is, but I do believe you're on the right path when it comes to helping others, even if you don't feel that's true, I feel in my heart that it is!
I know depression sucks and can be very overwhelming, but please don't ever think you don't contribute, because that's just not true!
Amen to that! He truly helps my soul!!!
Hey, you’re doing alright bro. You ARE contributing a lot to the mental health community. The one thing that has really helped my illness is coming to faith a few years ago. I was so angry at how the devil of this world deceives and tricks people. You have free-will so it’s up to you what to believe. As a Christian I am in the world but not of it 💚
I'm on disability too. And I have unspecified scitzophrenia. You belong in this world. It sucks to be disabled and to be on medicine has its good and bad but you have to stay positive. Don't let yourself die. Darkness is with everyone but that's besides the point. Don't ever think about bad things or negative things. I just drown myself in music and that usually keeps me feeling well.... if you need someone in your life, we're all here for you. Sick people and ill people are going to feel this way more than the people who aren't emotionally or mentally disturbed. So just live your life. Try to block out the negative energy with the things that bring you joy.
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I haven’t tried as many antipsychotics as you, but so many of them made me feel blank. Like nothing matter. Nothing sparked joy. Seroquel was the absolute worst for me, I was doing nothing, had the energy for nothing, and enjoyed absolutely nothing.
The only medication that has helped is Geodon, or ziprasidone. It calms the hallucinations, mainly auditory. I’ve started playing videogames again, which I haven’t done in forever. Antipsychotics fucked me up for awhile, I get how you feel. You spoke my thoughts.
It takes a long time to enjoy things again. It took me years. I genuinely hope this depression starts to look more positive, but it’s hard to think positive when nothing makes you happy. You seem to be a very strong person, remember your value most of all.
No one is worthless.
i can relate a lot jacob, i deal with the same problems, im also on disability with schizo affective disorder. i feel a lot like im useless but think of someone with a physical illness that cant work and need medication, we have a mental illness and unable to live life as normal as others. be kind to yourself, or try
I could listen to you talk for hours. Exactly how I’ve been feeling lately
I cd listen to him talk for hrs too
Same, i feel like I don't belong to this modern world either
Anhedonia is the worst symptom of depression. Not being able to feel pleasure is very depressing. I try new things with the hope of enjoyment and building on experiences. But without a positive feedback loop it's hard to follow through with things hope can only get you to begin things it can't sustain you.
The limitations my neurology brings have been very hard for me to cope with as well. I hate that I can do the things others. I feel like I'm grieving the life I thought I'd have before the diagnosis. The low energy and fatigue is very debilitating as well, it's so hard to be nice to yourself about it when there's so much to get done. I can't engage in any of my hobbies right now either, because it feels just as stimulating as just laying in bed. I understand your sentiment of why am I even here? If I can't perform tasks or do things like my fellow humans, then what am I meant to be doing? I feel it's all getting worse with time despite all my efforts to battle my mental health
I feel the same way. Tired all the time mentally and physically
You do contribute. You helps others and their families with the same illness. More than most people achieve. If you want more, speak at high schools. Raise awareness. Hang in there.
I have schizophrenia too and trust me I fill the same way you do and there ain't nothing too do when you have schizophrenia life is boring...😤🥺💯
I know how you feel man I've been feeling the same way for the past 9 months. My cat got super sick at the end of 2020 and had to be put to sleep and that put me in a depression that's gotten worse and worse. When I feel like I care all I feel is sadness. Most of the time I don't care about shit and don't feel anything though and I don't know which is worse tbh. Not feeling or caring about anything makes life not feel like life at all. But yeah your life does have a purpose you help people like you and me not feel alone with your videos. I appreciate it a lot.
Thank you for making me feel like I’m not the only one
One thing is for sure, you have helped alot of people with your videos and you should be proud of that! I've been watching your channel for years and I find it very gutsy the way you talk openly about your situations. I m pretty sure things will get better. And don't fall for the purpose trap, life just happens everything we do only brings out the next version of existence. Everything just happens .
Hi Jacob! I'm Schizophrenic as well and go to your discord chat. I don't pity you at all I find you very patient and strong. I have slight anhedonia and has some of the same things as well like just doing nothing sometimes. Fortunately for me art and science are my interests so I'm doing something about that. Again, I wish the best for you. 💞
Jacob, it's for a very good reason. Your dealing w alot that yes has to do w your brain and that can be verrry depressing. I struggle w depression on a lower level and even that is extremely difficult. I have to be careful bcuz then the evil forces can try n come for me. Through depression they come bcuz they know ur soul is vulnerable. 😞😠
Hang in there man, I've been feeling the same way. I can't seem to find the point in anything due to my negative symptoms. But I'm always here for ya,
Xanax helped me a lot with my anxiety I remember when my schizophrenia symptoms kicked in I was terrified of leaving my home but I’ve been doing way better latley even with my delusions and Hallucinations . I barley have them at all now along with anxiety attacks
Glad you’re still here with us. I understand completely.
Im on disability too i rearrange my room when i get the chance to and i feel really good having my head near a window is like a brain massage for my tinnitus lol but yea i just lay in bed or struggle to play games too /:
I get a sudden motivational thought to play a game then once I play it for about 20 seconds I lose interest and come off it, it’s so annoying!
I understand you completely. I had so many meds and nothing really worked for me. You said you are despressed without a reason, i don't think that's true.. We live in a pandemic and world war 3 is still a option. It's just sad. Our system is fucked up and the world feels out of place. Everyone is expecting something from us. Even ourself. We expect we have to feel like we have a purpose or something we love to do.. we expect so much from ourself and i think we have to distance ourself from these thoughts that are pressed into us from soceity. We probably don't really have a purpose.. i sometimes try to see it like it's a miracle that we can live. feel. see. The chances that we can exist are so low and still.. we do. I am trying to live in the "now". I was at my lowest and i still am sometimes but that's okay. and it's okay that you feel like that. for me personally it helped to meditate and read some books. If you like to read i would give you some recommedations: Eckart tolle - a new world. Eckart tolle- Now and "The Courage To Be Disliked - Ichiro Kishimi,
Fumitake Koga" it actually helped me to change my point of view. And sorry for my english, i hope you understand everything. I am from germany ^^ i really wish you the best and we got that, don't lose hope. I'm fucking proud of you still being here
Wow.. going thru this rn. I am reading "The power of now" and meditating too. But for some reason I cannot get rid of thoughts like: "Is it worth something?" There is so much uncertainty going at the world.. at least for me.
Greetings from argentina!
Its not depression you have in my opinion, I would say its rather kind of severe anhedonia and that can really make your everyday life much harder, eats you from inside and you tend to become flatter and flatter, almost nothing makes you pleasure and everyday life and things make you only annoyed. Hard to say if its because of your daily stress, combination of drugs you take or schizophrenia (mainly) itself. Think its combination of these factors. I´d consider taking some omega-3, vitamins (mainly B, D, E), zincum, magnesium etc. Also these months aren´t very good for lots of mental problems, got similar problem with this. But I definitely understand you with this...
Life is hard. It's good to here from you though. Makes my day a but better
I take lions mane everyday, I eat fruit and vegetables and asian cuisine. Flavourful food helps increase the mood.
Hi Jacob! Glad to see you back, bro!
Yes enjoyment is a word.
Jacob, have you ever considered reading books on Dr Wayne Dyer or Louis Hay. Or better yet. Just a book. A subject you like. People can get lost in books and it educated the mind and its a healthy hobby. I can't say I know what you feel because I don't. What I can say is that nobody knows exactly how one feels. People can relate with eachother but no one walks in our own shoes our own story. I hope YOU know that you are worth it and everyone has a purpose. I know sometimes the mind drifts off and we ask ourselves these deep questions because the meaning of life is deep. The fact that your addressing how you feel not for the public but for Yourself!!! Makes you a hero in so many ways. You can do this, you got this. Sometimes the simplest answer I just to be... Sometimes the way we world things or our thoughts are so powerful. What about just waking up and saying to yourself in the mirror, " I got this, I am important, I am special, Toda will be a good day" Our minds are so powerful beyond any pharmaceutical medicine. You are here for a reason and you are blessed!!!!
I have to fight my depression all the time Jacob
Your purpuse could be to help others who are experiencing schitzophrenia etc your videos have helped me in the past just by relating to your mentality
I understand how you feel. What helps me is I try to let out my thoughts and feelings in the form of a story with different characters and setting but with the same feelings and thoughts I have. I write about a character who feels he has no purpose, is tired and exhausted and the stakes are high. The cool thing is, I shared what I wrote during that moment of purposelessness and stress with a friend, and I found that it was one of my friends favorites out of all the ones I wrote! Even the ones I wrote when I felt very positive! That made me feel very good about my story and myself, realizing my moments of purposelesness are meaningful to others! I hope this is helpful.
My life is changing ,have to change my living place and my mental health is worsening cause of it ,I hate to move in smaller place ,I feel suffocating ,scared that my depression will worsen
❤️
Keep your head up i know its hard i been in depression you just try stay active hobbies walking the dog or do legos do a crystal collection search for new things train a dog or train a cat stay active and keep your mind off your thoughts
Same! Video games aren't that good anymore and I get bored real fast. I feel you. Hope something comes around in your life and changes your awareness. Realize, just because you are here, even breathing, it makes the rest of the world better.
Ur going through a period of severe depression. I had it for like 2 years. Keep going to the psychiatrisc and be patient that it will pass just like mine did. Time and treatment and living heals it in a couple of years, no worries about that
Same boat ,disability ,med changes ,and lethargic depression ! Anti phsychotics seem to just suck life out ,that's my theory ..anyways, I like your videos . Very relatable
Hi Jacob. I really enjoy your videos. I suffer from schizophrenia as well and it takes it’s toll. I suggest you keep yourself occupied or find a community to belong to. Your videos help tremendously.
Love You're Videos
Channel name updated! Are you seeing your doctor in a basis? Take care, love you
It’s a word enjoyment i have been depressed for a long time I hear you
New drug for schizophrenia and depression..Caplyta.
Hang on, you’re doing great. Even though I know you don’t feel that way. Depression really doesn’t have a why. It’s just there causing havoc in people’s lives. I think you have a very important purpose here on this planet. Look at all the comments here. People understanding what you’re going through and feeling like you understand what they’re going through. You’re building a community and that’s awesome! These videos are great for people like me that want to understand mental illness better to be a better support to a friend. I hope you get the meds sorted out and working better for you. Keep making videos. You got this! 🙂
I haven’t been able to play video games in years :(
I believe in you, have the same illness. your videos help
Same ...same complitly
I am tired of my mental illness too ..
Same ....
Ive been feeling the same for a loooong time, recently the only place I found answers is on drugs... But I feel so separated from everything that surrounds me, its a wild battle and I don't even know what to tell you. Everything comes to an end, yeah the bad stuff too....
I feel depressed also my life changed a Lot with schizoprenia I miss my old life to be with meds make me feel no emotions I can not cry and I can not smile it sucks
You changed your channel's name!
Hang in there Jacob
i agree on every word. depression is like that
I feel the same way. I have depression, have tried antidepressants and non of them work. I'm so tired of living, nothing is interesting.
Hi Jacob, thank you for your videos, they are very helpful, ( there is one of your purposes) , my son has similar issues, that i why i watch you , he takes citalopram, and antpsicotics, dr, told to go outside and get sunlight, and vitamin D, that helps..how is your cat?
His cat passed
@@rebeccamendez2691 😥😥thanks for letting me know
I notice my thoughts wondering so much that I'm unable to focus on the essentials of work
I knew a guy like you that looked just like you and talked just like you and ignored me for years just like you until he finally opened a discord. But his name was ihave not Jacob.
Not a doctor or anything but it definitely sounds like you might have dysthymia my guy
I suffer with it (properly diagnosed) , and a lot of what you say is very relatable
I’d definitely talk to your psychiatrist about it x
The lost of the pleasure of life is apart of our illness in some people,
I get similar
Have you ever tried a stimulant? Like adderall or ritalin? I watched a couple of videos (a lot of videos actually) from people with schizophrenia and they all seem to not respond very well to schizophrenia medication so I was wondering if maybe taking a completely different medication could do something..
Just life bro it has spewed everyone and spat out
I have mental disease too. What really helps me is finding ways to work with my unconscious mind. For example, i set a count down timer and close my eyes with a goal to open exactly after 10 seconds pass. Or I walk on a street with closed eyes and set a target object I want to reach with my eyes closed. I also learn to trust myself more, think of any silly way that is gonna treat my disorder and accept it as effective way of dealing with it. And then I read on internet that those ways I discovered actually are proven to help. Cool stuff m8. Maybe embrace your unconscious mind more. God help you! :)
Thank you for sharing. Brave and honest and… painful. I don’t go through the same thing, but I learn so much from your videos and from the comments people leave here. I wish I could give back.
Three frickibg years
They took my son away at two, he is now four
I love the Soulsborne games 😊💜❤️
Doesn't Ativan help any?
I used to be on Duloxetine, 60 mgs, and Amitriptyline, 75 mgs, and I felt blank of emotion. I am actually happier smoking weed, being off those antidepressants.
Have you tried Cariprazine Jacob?
I've tried that yeah
@@Ihaveschizophrenia1 it really worked for my schizoaffective, 10th like drug after lamotrigine and olanzapine
I want him back
❤️
Hope you are feeling better.
My theory is that the soul can only feel its worth when part of a community. Did you ever consider travelling and interviewing about mental health and the benefits of community. So much emphasis is on medication and not enough on community. I feel only admiration and inspiration watching your videos. You make known the reality of mental illness. Dignity, honesty, kindness, you have the whole package. You have been dealt a hard life and you chose to share! wow! You think! You are a bit of a philosopher. So many people don't think about the lot of others as you do.
video games give a false sense of community. They are ok for relaxation but too much...?
Maybe you are at a new stage in your video making career. Maybe going out there to establish the facts and find solutions is your next step?. I've found that many people with schizophrenia are exceptionally decent. Maybe the world needs to see this through the example of people like you. The world is a difficult place to navigate. Your decency rubs off on others and shape the world. I am certain of this. It is as inevitable as a chain reaction. It needs more like you.
This can only happen if you remain part of this world and reach out to a community.
Your decency has certainly given me hope that humanity can be decent even in the most difficult of circumstances. Perhaps little by little emerge into community. Your life makes a big difference. These are my thoughts.
Start some meditation practices like yoga and vipassana
Hi im rly sorry i left the discord chat is there any way i could get invited again
Yeah,vafter three years, I'm coming out of it
Do you binge eat to cope with your feelings?
He doesn't look like it he's thin
Jacob, what is any of our purposes? We just do what we have to do here on earth until it's over.
Yeah but have you considered maybe trying to change things a bit? Your depression will last forever. Nothing will change. It's easy to relax and do nothing. And no problems will be solved. Nothing will change. Exert your self just a little. Do just one tiny thing which is different. Just one tiny thing.
To on trip in EUROPE, Istra, Croatia
I like earth!!!
Nutrition is important
I feel like those people in the latest south park episode. Bottle water. Pilates
Has your depression improved?
I’m sorry if this is a stupid question, but have you thought about getting another cat?
How ya doing buddy? You ever experiment with microdosing Mushrooms?
I've heard of that, that it helped someone else on TV, I'm trying to remember
You look good 👍! Maybe it’s a transition!
It might be ur new med. They can cause u to feel flat
I am a stoic philosopher and a trader. I would like to help you on your journey through life. But I am not sure that stoicism or trading is the right thing for you. What you feel is normal, it is not just related to your illness but also to your situation. I am not God, so I can’t change one or the other. But if you are stoic and work on yourself, you can overcome everything that fortune throws at you. (I like your videos, keep posting them. Thanks.)🙂
Yeah, are you real?
Life is about transcending. You find fulfillment in giving rather than receiving. Don’t be a consumer be a producer. Produce from your own creativity and force yourself into activities that require effort and sacrifice. This will add fulfillment into your life. Instead of playing video games design them. SNHU has degree programs to help. Think about the Nova documentary Augmented. There are areas in life that have gone no significant change for thousands of years. Artificial limbs is one of those. Not until this guy almost lost his life did he find purpose and an avenue that needed improvement. That is transcending. Doing something better or different than the status quo.
That's a great idea, he is very smart and could do well at designing them
Longer videos
I believe you need a change of scenery
Go camping or something and take away all the things you know you love for a while. When you come back youll fall in love with those things again.
I'm on disability too and I know how shit it is, but changing my scene always helps just for a lil bit. Possibly get a dog, mine saved my life.
He doesn't feel good leaving his house
if you want to understand the mind then listen to mooji on youtube peace brother
Longer
About your addiction to antipsychotics and antidepressants.
There is such a thing as learned helplessness. You had some kind of life experience when you couldn't influence the circumstances. And you've been taught to think that you can't and shouldn't live without medication. Initially acquired expertise gained has great power, it is difficult to give it up.
When you come to a psychiatrist and start talking about your problems, the psychiatrist should react. He is obliged to select medicines for you. In our hospitals, it often happens that a patient spends two or three months there, he does not feel any serious improvement, but he wants to return home, and he understands that he must tell the doctor that he feels well in order to leave the hospital.
You won't feel good on neuroleptics. It's just never going to be like this! Find the strength to gradually reduce the dose of antipsychotics. And then completely abandon them. And you understand, the game is not an occupation. Occupation is work, it is study. You justify yourself by saying that you are sick. Stop taking neuroleptics and then decide how sick you are, so as not to study and not to work.
Wow, that´s an advice. Bravo. You are forgetting about one thing - Jacob at least once said in his videos, that even antipsychotics have lots of disadvantages, they help him not to halucinate so much etc. Better advice would be to consider find some good antidepressants, that give him some kind of "drive" that he lacks, to gain some energy and not to be always sedated under neuroleptics. But again, he is also very anxious, wouldn´t that be kind of risk of relapse for example? Your advice is dangerous and even when my opinion about neuroleptics is not very friendly, I just have to say your advice is just very dangerous hazard.
@@cynickej_pragmatik People always want to be like everyone else. If they would have told him - A guy, everyone sees such hallucinations, and everyone somehow understands it, and no one is afraid of it. You don't have to get hooked on drugs, you just have to live with it. I am sure that after crying a little, he would get used to such conditions and would live quite successfully without medication.
He has said his illness is worse w out the medications
Hey Glum, To me you sound pissed off... You have a right to be. I know, I'm someone who has to deal with psychosis everyday like you do.
How does my mind fuck with me on a daily basis: AVH. Auditory Verbal Hallucinations. They're not the kind of Flowery voices you hear about some people having in their head. They are antagonistic and there's nothing they won't say. I feel lucky that I recognized what was going on with me immediately back in 2013. I never mistook what I was hearing for maybe being the voices of demons, or aliens, or the CIA parked in a van down the street beaming a live audio stream into my brain using microwaves or something. I just knew that sometimes people's minds fail, or at least some part of them anyway. And I've been pissed off ever since.
So yeah you have a right to not be happy. And to wonder why. You didn't ask the question out loud in this video, but you can hear it underneath the words you're saying and that question is why me?
Besides the problem I have with my mind I have quite a few other situations in my life that are very difficult that I have to deal with everyday. One of them is my mother who is 83 and who I live with beginning to experience a real loss of cognitive clarity, her memory is failing her big time. This is really hard to deal with for me. She's my mom and of course I love her more than I love myself and to see her health going down like this is very difficult. I have other health issues... I can barely hear, I have major hearing loss in both ears. it's genetic, my mother also has the same situation going on. In the last couple of years my eyesight has degraded into a lousy situation.
I'm not employed right now and I haven't been like a lot of folks for a couple years now so finances are all f***** up... Things have been better in my life.
But the way I deal with it is to just sometimes look up towards the sky and tell God hey I appreciate the vote of confidence, I'm flattered you think so highly of me that you can put so many crosses on my back because I know you love me and you never put more on my plate than I can handle but come on give me a give me a break here.
Dealing with psychosis is exhausting like you say. It does take a lot of energy for me just to not be pissed off all day long. Like I said earlier I live with my 83 old mother who's in the early stages of her life becoming more difficult because of dementia and so in my mind my job is to help her out much as possible try to make her days as Pleasant, happy as possible.... And I got to admit sometimes I don't do a very good job. I spend the whole day just cooped up with myself because I'm just so pissed off at my situation and the bullshit I'm hearing in my head.
But hey she needs me. So I get past it, I forgive myself for maybe not doing everything I could the day before and I give it my best shot the following day.
When you say nothing gives you happiness in this life nothing's fun anymore I don't hear you bringing up a lot of different subjects. They all seem to be expressions of: Video games don't make me jolly anymore. Well honestly I don't want to be rude or anything like that but I don't see how you could have ever been happy if that's all you've ever done.
The older I get the more important it is for me to be living in such a way that I'm not focused on myself but actually thinking about trying to help out others like: My family and my friends, and maybe someday I can do more for other people... You know at a food bank, or helping build a habitat home. The older I get the less satisfying life is if I'm just focusing on myself. You find happiness in others, in serving... Well that's what is happening with me.
And now I'm going to give you some advice that I need to head myself: Find somebody.
If you think about it, unless you're the type of person who's inclined to be a monk or something like that... Life was meant to be shared with somebody. What good is a personal success, achievement unless you have someone to tell it to, to celebrate with. What good is it to go on a long road trip, to a town you never visited before for the weekend because you're feeling like you need a change of scenery, you need some fresh air, so you decide to throw a dart at the map of your home state and wherever it lands that's where you're heading... Doing something like this is very cool but how much fun can it be if there's no one else in the car with you, unless you have somebody to share the trip with?
And are you're being honest with yourself about who's the right type of person is for you to hook up with. Don't ever worry about what the world thinks as it relates to who you're in love with.
And don't take this next advice aa me being disrespectful or you know not recognizing how much your your cat who passed away meant to you... But I'm not noticing you having gotten a new cat/kitten... I think you should. Cats are very cool... And if you never find anybody to call your other half relationship-wise... You know your cat will always love you, like your cat that passed away did.
Buck up. If you can't be happy be angry not sad... I'm hoping you're going to be happy. Take care.
I do think u might need to get another cat Jacob. Think about it.
Also maybe u should find a girlfriend. U had one for awhile there. U r very handsome n wdt hv any problems finding one.
Dude come on diablo 2 resurrected!? PLAY IT
You want some good advice…get off all meds except antipsychotic minimum. Be brave and accept the mood changes. The less meds your on the more your brain will compensate.
Umm where'd you get your PhD.??? You don't even realize how dangerous saying this is.
@@sydney4271 Harvard Medical School. Where did you?
@@indigoyellow bull
As someone who has experienced schizophrenia personally and have led a successful life despite the diagnosis I find it disrespectful that you would even comment. It’s sad that people like you exist.
Do you know how many phds have done nothing of value in this world? It’s in the millions. But if your powers of observation were working you’d realize that some of the most successful people in life who have made scientific progress did not have PhDs. Think Wright brothers, Elon Musk, Michael faraday, Steve Jobs the list goes on.
Shorter Videos
read the bible and pray that the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob reveals Himself to you. start here!
you're here because God wants you here, seek Him
lookup ketamine and ask your doctor about it, its a new miracle cure for depression. However since it's so new many doctors can't prescribe it yet, but since it works so well there are clinics specifically meant for it.
@pinkdostoyevsky yea if you get it from a clinic, but you can also get it from the streets though it is rare because it's not very good to do recreationally. And some doctors can prescribe it for free. If any of your family members are veterinarians, the could also get it.