The Other Side of the Friend Zone (Short Film)
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- Опубліковано 5 жов 2024
- She needs a friend. He wants a girlfriend. This short film takes an unconventional look at the "friend zone" and all its entanglements. If you like my work, check out my feature-length romantic comedy "Love Is Blind," on Amazon! amzn.to/2l7ESbU Trailer here: • Video
To hear more music by the composer of the film's soundtrack, visit: bit.ly/2rh7GU3
She doesn't owe him a relationship, and he doesn't owe her a friendship. Pretty simple. They both want different things, therefore they should both move on.
the reason guys in friend zones dont want to be friends anymore is because it hurts being around someone you want so bad, but know that you will never be able to have them. Why hurt yourself more by being around a person you love when you can distant yourself from them and not have pointless feelings. Its easier.
bumboo100 yup yup
Those feelings are perfectly valid. It's when they act like the girl they have feelings for is doing something wrong by not reciprocating that's the problem. It doesn't make sense for someone to say they care about someone and then promptly abandon them when won't go out with them. If you're only willing to be around someone when they agree to date you, then what did your friendship every really mean in the first place?
PomegranatesAndDroids How about the idea that people grow on you..you go through things together and a bond forms..within that bond, desires form..being able to share those feelings physically and emotionally isn’t wrong, but females want to compartmentalize men..one for sex, one for providing, one for friends..spinning plates is better for their ego as it equates to more attention and if one of the plates gets broken, they have more to choose from..it’s based in from a fear of solitude..but not thinking long-term..females inadvertently end up single because by the time they realize guys won’t put up with these shenanigans forever, they’ve lost their beauty and no one wants them anymore. It’s a vicious game of drama that no one wins, yet is still played because society hasn’t put these brats in their place..yet.
You just gotta be her friend... is that so hard to understand? Feelings may or may not transpire in the future but you’ll never know if you just decide to cut her off because it “hurts” cry me a fuckin river.
@@AllOverTonight If she's not willing to entertain the idea of a relationship with him, why should he have to keep hurting himself just to make her feel better? It's like some others have said, they are both entitled to feel the ways they do but not to expect the other to feel obligated to change for them. Too often, the man is made the villain just because he wants something different than the woman. The narrative is always "why can't guys just understand that women sometimes only want friendship." Everyone is supposed to validate the woman's feelings while dismissing and invalidating the man's feelings. He's fallen in love with her and wants more, but he is wrong for having those feelings.
How to get out of the friendzone:
DON'T GO THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE. THE MOMENT YOU FIND YOURSELF THERE, WALK AWAY.
hey man, you just gotta say your intentions from the start. and then, if she says she ain't interested that's when you get the fuck out.
Yes. Because friendship is such a terrible thing.
Elena Kusevska friendzone isn't really friendship in a lot of situations, it's sutle rejection
Elena Kusevska why should the guy who clearly have feelings stay? she reaps the benefits while the guy gets the short end of the stick. that shits a consolation prize, and nobody should have to settle for that. Accepting friendship and seeing her on a semi regular basis being constantly reminded that you'll never get to be with her meanwhile you sit back and watch her date and be with other guys when that could've been you and when it's over you're there to pick up the peices again. That shit hurts, and can be very discouraging at times. nothing good comes from it and the shits toxic as hell and people don't even know it
Don't go to a girl's house if you two are alone and it's at night. Idk why she wouldn't set that boundary either. Like it's pathetic, go out into public at least. You can't just use people. Men use women and women use men. There's physical chastity and there is also emotional chastity.
He let his feelings about her go on for that long and puts it on her when she's in a desperate time? That's manipulative and sneezy snake shit.
She's going to use him as a "cuddle buddy" and a therapist at night when they're alone? Wtf? Like seriously, wtf? Using a man to cope with the loss of the man.
Anyway, good acting on the video. Glad to use it to expose how much crap is involved from both of these sides. "Friendzone" is for crazies. Stupid paradigm. Y'all need Jesus
Nobody owes anyone anything. You can't hide feelings and think friendship will progress. Doesn't happen. It sucks I guess
Arun G that's so true
***** to be frank, I found both of them selfish in this video. The thing is the guy wants something more and the girl wants friendship. It's different things. Honestly they can be together, if say the guy's intensity of feeling towards the girl is not very strong. You see exes being friendly. It's basically that. But if the guy feels intensely for that girl, the friendship won't survive.
The Valiant Atheist this is hardly a friendship. they seem codependent emotionally. male friendships are a lot less complicated. pep talks, ball busting, sports, beer, opposite sex discussions, intellectual discussions but no feelings shit. no wonder male friendships last long
Arun G That's also why men rely on women so much for emotional support.
Cindreia31 true but it also gets messy
Her: "So you're saying you won't be friends with me unless I date you"
His response was horrible: "It's just, if you don't care about me the way I care about you, then I can't be around you"
Ideal response: "While I care for and want to be there for you as a friend, I also care for you in other ways. And because of this, I will also be harming myself by pretending I don't have those feelings. While I want to comfort you, I have to draw the line somewhere, and I have to look out for me as well. I hope you can understand this".
BOOM. Ball is in her court.
Flight Doc No . The ideal answer is YES !
Flight Doc well, things come out wrong during a real life conversation, soo I think this is more realistic.
Well, I was in this exact situation a while back, and this is what I said. Saying this will:
1.) Allow a guy (or girl) to walk away with a clear mind, despite the outcome, knowing that their best was given
2.) Place the other person in a situation where, they understand you fully and are now in the position to decide whether they can accommodate the way you feel
3.) Also, if they still don't understand, or continue irrationally, they probably are not worth it to begin with, all the more reason to move on
4.) If someone were in the position to say this, and they choose not to out of fear of losing this person, then they are placing the person on a pedestal, and are choosing to continue hurting themselves
Flight Doc well, you must be one smooth guy. (not sarcasm)
No, just "seasoned" lol. Also, I know these situations suck, and they do hurt - esp. if they are navigated the wrong way
Okay, super mixed feelings about this, because everyone else is right: she doesn't owe him anything, and if she doesn't want to date him, she should not. End of story. That would not be fair to her or to him. However, he is not obliged to stay in a friendship or a relationship that does not fit his emotional needs, either. Which is to say, he has a point. If he doesn't feel able to only offer friendship, and it hurts too much to know that she doesn't want him back, he needs to leave that relationship. Hank Green did a great video on this a while ago, and I find that I agree with him. No one should manipulate a relationship out of anyone else. That is not anyone's right. So if he needs to go, then she needs to let him. And if she needs someone else, he needs to respect that. And this entire situation is toxic, and they need space from each other.
BINGO.
Thank you for thinking objectively. :)
Bella Avalos I agree. She needs to find a female friend that will not have romantic feelings for her. It's nearly impossible for a man not to be romantically attracted to a woman he spends a lot of time with. It's natural
Youth is wasted on the young. I'm going to get called "creepy" but that's fine with me and I'm old enough not to care what people think any more. I'm 43, never married, no kids, and spend the majority of my time alone and will probably die that way, so I am the last person to be giving out relationship advice. However in my opinion the problem is that neither of them are mature enough to change for the other one. When the girl said no the guy should of dropped it, but would of going out on a date with him been so bad?
I'm talking a first date, no touching, just exploring the relationship further without any expectations whatsoever.
Also, that snuggle at the beginning is super awkward, unless you know 100% the other person is going to be comfortable with that then it should be avoided.
Unfortunately, women and logic don't mix. A simple problem that can easily be resolved is always blown out of proportion with them
Bella Avalos PREACH IT
I also don't get why guys who are in the "friendzone" always go after the girl when she's in an emotional and vulnerable state.
Pretty obvious right? These friendzoned guys see it as an opening.
boltobolt12 even though it's not. I'm a guy and even I know that's actually more a closed time, in a time of sadness most girls won't like anyone
some people lack tact it's unfortunate.
yeah like thats the worst fucking time to throw that at someone. how dense can you be?
Guys and girls can't just be friends.
If the only time she calls you is when she needs something, that's when you are not a friend but a tool in the friendzone and that's when you need to hang up the phone and find someone else to "hang" with.
yup, or manipulate her for things you want.
@@nickdipaolofan5948 at least both parties will be getting what they want
I'm with her. You can't say you love her, she's your favorite person, but if she doesn't want to date you, then you are not even her friend?
@@goranmilic442Because she only called him when she needed something and she ain't even all that. Bro is out of her league and she won't even give it a chance. It makes zero sense and shows that he truly does love her. At least she doesn't make out with him and be sexual af then cut things off. I speak from experience.
@@skyhunter2816 What? If a guy from "higher league" wants a girl from "lower league", that's a sign of true love? That is your argument? Dude, anyone is free to love who they want, but you can't expect with certainty feelings to be returned. And if he truly loves her, he would respect her choice and help her when she needs it.
Damn, the acting was so good I forgot I was watching a film
macknmake said nobody ever
Wow...well done...
The timing of the separation in the lamp...perfect!
COIL MercurialFYZX SYMBOLISM
Ya can't be in the friendzone if ya have no friends!
Checkmate Atheists! 😀
Sky Moore Well damn, you got me.
Sky Moore fuck, he got me too.
Lol
I'm starting to doubt everything I've ever believed in
Omg! Lmao!
My best friend is gay, I am lesbian, i am glad this can't happen to me.
lucky.
Elizabeth Chute it is amazing
deadly beauty, the wonders fudge you. (Jk ur amazing XD)🌈✨🍃🤘🏽
I wish my guy friends were gay so I wouldn't have to deal with it.
Elizabeth Chute 0% chance of eloping confirmed
Seriously though she looks 14 and he looks 26.
Lil Nicole It's pretty relative though
Ikr!
some people have the younger type look.
love no age french: l'amour n'a pas d'âge et est aveugle. im 25yrs old and some people see me 21 some people looks younger or some looks older
I'm 25 and people often asume i'm 17 when they don't know me so...
How to get out of the friendzone: Don't go there in the first place. Make a move. If you're rejected, say bye. Let her sit alone when she makes bad dating choices never having known you as a friend. Have some fucking self-respect dudes.
THAT was an awesome answer. I learned that one the hard way, but learned it, I did.
Or just wait until she sorts of her feelings and gets together with the same/another guy, then stop being a looser and focus on other relationships. The thing that these people like the most is disloyalty. Just don't be faithful /loyal and live a fun, fulfilling life. Or be faithful and loyal to someone who you care and has the same feelings for you. Never make a friendship more than what it is.
A good gauge to see if these people care for you or not is to just casually mentioning how attractive other women are around them, not necessarily on purpose (like be honest). If they respond aggressively, they probably either have feelings for you, or a problem with themselves.
John Smith has your ego taken a pounding
Vivek Rajkhowa no
Vivek Rajkhowa why would it?
I kinda think while friendship should be valued it's very important to value distance. For someone to get over another person it takes time and space, for self development and reasons to move on. It sucks that sometimes it comes off as a guy just want a relationship out of a friendship, but while that's seen as manipulative and what not, at the same time it came out of a genuine gesture of simply liking the person. It is also extremely selfish to want someone to be there for you, laugh and cry with you at the cost of their pain, since everything could give them a false sense of hope. In situations like this, there should always be a mutual understanding, empathy and communication. It's not always about ending a friendship, but putting it on hold for a bit so that you can rebuild a stronger and more pure one.
smartest comment on this video thank you for sanity
piggyshoe THANK YOU, THE ONLY SANE PERSON IN THIS COMMENT SECTION
Finally some sense
So glad I found this sensible and reasonable comment. The majority of this comment section is a dumpster fire of both sides just hating on one another lol
PREACH IT!!!!
Women: I don’t owe you a relationship
Men: I don’t owe you a friendship.
When you friend zone him don’t expect him to stick around
Amen.
Well done
I’m gonna use that thanks
You are basically saying Men can not be friends with women,They only show compassion so they can screw with women. Says a lot about men.. they are only interested in dating or segs
I think this represents the other side quite nicely. Good work. Honestly I was waiting for someone to be portrayed as the victim, but that didn't happen. That's good, it wouldn't have been the same if one side was victimized.
S4RD0NYX SC3PT1C so the woman can use the man as emotional support but when she's done with she goes and dates someone else yeah really great. that's "friendship" coming from a woman.
S4RD0NYX SC3PT1C so her expecting him to only cater to her feelings is not bad? Good to know you are a sexist and narrowminded... the right outcome there... is something like... BOY: I like you.... Girl: I like you as a friend only... Boy: ok then i'm gonna go then cause i want more and you don't.... Girl: ok sorry I don't feel the same but i hope you find someone that does... Your version... BOY: I like you.... Girl: I like you too... Boy: let's date... Girl: Not happening but you must stay my friend and do my bidding whenever i want... can't stand morons like you... Men need to have more self worth and stand up to this little girls and let them know they are not made of gold...infact they were made from the rib of a man if you believe the bible.
❤
Dreadful, dreadful timing on the guys part.
I've been in situations where the girl i like has ended up being rejected and hurt by some douche bag, but there is no way i would go for her while she is in such a state. And if she found out i was interested i sure as hell wouldn't act like he did. He just made a very difficult situation even worse.
Time needs to pass. If he ever would have had a chance he just blew it. Very selfish attitude...
I'm always confused about the timing. When would be a decent time to express your feelings to a friend in a time like this?
impulse well in my opinion whenever you are ready to get rejected and move on
The guy should just stop being her 'friend'. He could actually spend time improving himself or support his actual gf. Not a girl who doesn't like you.
No Spacegoat92. waiting for a better time to tell a person that you are actually not interesed in them as a person, only as a love intereset won't work. there is no time for such a thing.
when their head is clear on a clear day some way neutral. and if you have to say good bye keep it dignified
Don't know why people are being so bad to this guy. His reasoning was dodgy, but the notion of not wanting friendship if a relationship isn't on the cards is completely reasonable. It hurts like hell to be around someone who doesn't feel the same way, no? I've recently been friend zoned by a guy with the classic "we'll carry on as normal but if anything happens we'll be happy to pursue it" I don't really want to be around him anymore, and I don't think I'm evil. I've friend zoned a few guys and I always give them the option of distancing and it surprises me when they want to keep the friendship.
I feel like his reasoning could've been much better
Justin Mendoza in an emotional situation people aren't usually presenting the best arguments and reasoning :P
What would you suggest?
Justin Mendoza ... true, but this was obviously filmed from the woman's perspective, so we should expect most of the effort to have gone into fleshing out her feelings. sad that the opportunity to make a truly great piece of art (by presenting both sides equally well) was missed.
Nothing shows both sides equally, that's not the goal. Everything has a point of view.
With this film, I actually wanted to focus on her perspective more than his, because in films/TV/pop-culture the male perspective is typically more represented in this topic. One of my female friends once said something about the friend zone that I'll never forget: "When guys complain about being in the friend zone, it's like they're complaining about being friends with you." And for sure, having romantic feelings for someone who doesn't reciprocate them is very hard (I've been there), but there's another side to the story.
I love this video because it finally shows both sides
The Bookwormie the side that puts other person in friend zone is stupid...
I think that people put them selves in the friend zone most of the time.
patrick witkowski But no one purposefully puts someone else in the friend zone, though. Sometimes love isn't requited, and there's nothing to be done about that. Unrequited love might hurt, but the other person doesn't owe the person in love anything.
The Bookwormie why it's called "the other side of the friend zone"
If someone if in that kind of one sided relationship that person should get out of it, not cry about being exploited.
In my opinion it's selfish of her to just want to have him around to support her in tough moments, and then, a few months later she's dating someone else.
I feel used when that happens, that's why the only female friends I have are either childhood friends or married women from which I have no expectations whatsoever.
PrimiusLovin Healthy male instincts there. Best listen to them.
I understand what you mean, the problem is when a man or a woman asks for the friendship of someone who has developed romantic feelings towards them.
In the situation portrayed in this video, the person that just wants to be friends is using the other as a crutch to overcome a difficult moment, that's being selfish imo, or at least immature.
He's being more honest with the situation, he's thinking on both of them, that they both have a common problem, that they both need attention and love, so why not take the next step towards a relationship.
If she needs that kind of affection and attention from him, sorry, she needs a boyfriend, not a friend as she says.
i dont understand this though. arent friends supposed to be there in tough moments?? isnt that what a support group is about? granted if she ONLY ever calls in the tough times...then you're just using someone. But otherwise, i dont see any reason to think that its selfish to want someone there in a sad time especially if you're willing to return the favor whenever they're sad.
I guess it depends on the level of friendship each one of us has, Vanessa.
If she wanted to overcome the situation then why not ask him to go out and watch a movie they both like or do any other activity they might have in common to try and forget how she feels about the other guy.
That way she wouldn't come out as being needy and selfish.
The level of attention and affection portrayed in the video, showing all those emotions, how she feels devastated, cuddling in the couch and what not... to me, that's boyfriend territory!
But don't take my advise, I'm no expert in the dealing with the subject because when I'm faced with a similar situation I never rely on friends to overcome it, in fact, all I want is to be left alone for some time!
PrimiusLovin How is it selfish? She was never dating him, that's like saying I'm not allowed to have friends who are girls and a girlfriend. Being a "nice guy" and supporting someone when they need it doesn't mean you're entitled to a relationship or sex which they're not comfortable with.
this is exactly how I felt, when I told him i didn't like him... then I realized he only hung out with me, only spent time with me because he wanted to more than friends, not cause he care about me
^This needs to be appreciated more
ugh it's the fucking worst. I hate guys like that with a passion. So often as well I make it clear from the start that I'm not interested, so they act like they genuinely wanna be friends until they realise I'm really not interested and stop talking to me... guys need to learn to take no for an answer
i dont think you try to understand "guys like that" tho. il talk about me and i know i cant be the only one of this kind. i dont choose to be nice around a girl, talk to her spend a lot of time with / for her just because hes has great boobs or sth. i take a liking to a person, i talk with them, an if the more i talk the more i like them, i become friends with them. after! that, if we are talking about a girl, i may develop feelings for her. sometimes its ok, i accept that she isnt interested that way and we stay friends. but sometimes those feelings may be rly strong, and just being around her knowing nothing is going to happen is just too hard, so i decide to lose a friend in favour of my emotional health. its not like i tricked them or played the nice guy just to get her cmon
If your feelings are gradually developing and weren't there from the start then you're not the kinda guy I am referring to. I get a lot of guys who from the start clearly like me, but I send very clear "no" signals, or even say straight out, "no" but they still continue on as though I am somehow mistaken in my own feelings.
Perla Ramos exactly!
He should have told her to start what he wanted. anyone in the friend-zone is there because they do not know how to express their feelings. Had he been upfront, he could have moved on a long time ago. But also, she is rapping his time. she is a user. he finally sees it and giver her the ultimatum that was needed. Every man should know to move on. there is no reason to stick around a women who has no interest in you. its a waste of time and effort and for some, money as well.
They didn't show his point of view better than this ,i think she is a bit selfish " why aren't you there for me ? Why can't you be just a friend? Why are you trying to be the best? "
She cant see that this friendship may hurt him if his feelings didn't go away
She is trying hard to point out his selfishness but I see it the other way around.she is more selfish than he is
Fayza Ali
To be fair, she asked him over for support and a FRIEND, instead she Sorta got guilted for feeling like she Did and given s ultimatum of ”date me or your last support is Gone”.
Not the easiest to be cool then and shift focous from how shitty you are feeling and treated to not ”hurt” someone and put them first.
She’s not selfish for not liking him. Attraction isn’t about ticking off boxes if the spark isn’t there then it isn’t there.
I think everything the guy said came from a place of hurt and rejection. I think the girl was being insensitive of how vulnerable he was to put himself out there and it was selfish of her to expect him to carry on as usual after being rejected. What I heard from the guy was feelings of pain and insecurity and from the girl it seemed like she just wanted him to stop making her feel guilty for how she feels. I'm not saying one is right or wrong, rejection is a part of life but there's people applauding the girl and bashing the guy in the comments and I don't agree. He said some stupid things but he took a blow to his ego said things in the moment he probably wouldn't have.
Indigo Tiger very well written and exlained...good job
I do feel like the guy was exaggerated, but it's good to acknowledge both sides have their points. Mainly, they both want something different.
Indigo Tiger fucking THANK YOU I was that guy my best friend was conceived and born along side me and we were raised together at 13 we started "being 13 year old young adults if the opposite sex"
And I fell hard shit was a match made in heaven everyone agreed
But tall guy Mccheating abbs at her school came along and moved in with her for seven years and now I have no desire to continue to romanticize us as I was nothing more the an a third wheel all the while knowing how I felt
And now he's gone and she's sad and I can easily move in and secure the relationship but I feal its not the most self respecting thing to do and I know some other guy is just gonna come along and merry her
But I've literally just given up the pain I felt will never go away and it has damaged me in regards of every relationship I continue to have as these patterns tend to repeat
Girls want the top 20% of males
And as a result I no longer want those girls at all
I am a mgtow and it is a reaction to the depth of my romanization of love
And I hope more men go mgtow for their own reasons
If the demand for men goes up thean MABY SOMEONE will care
I think the guy had feelings for her from the beginning, but he was probably to afraid to say anything so he put himself in the friendzone which is the worst thing to do. I been through this and I had to learn the hard way. So, if you see someone you want to date tell them don't wait around, and if she says no you can move on. As Biggie would say, I don't chase em, I replace em!
Tears
im just here to say, the lamp detail towards the end with the "why can't everything just stay how it was" is GREAT. amazing little director's touch.
If you're in the friendzoned and you love the other person and you guys are best friends, and it doesn't happen, then that friendship gottta go. It is impossible to stay friends with someone when you have feelings for them
Alex Orellana I disagree. I mean it can be hard but I liked a guy 4 years ago and he didn't like me that way, but after like a year I got over my crush and now we are just good friends.
corrina ethridge that's good that you got over him but I'm saying it's impossible to stay friends with someone when you still have feelings for them.
I guess that's true but when I liked him we were still friends. It probably depends more on the person or situation
Alex Orellana not true. I think it depends on the circumstances, I had feelings for someone. He friendzoned me, I wanted to stop being friends because it was too hard but he tried so hard to show how much he cares. Today he's one of my closest friends and I'm glad that he fought so hard for our friendship because we do have a connection
Alex Orellana I think it can be hard in some cases, but to say it's impossible to stay friends with someone you have feelings for is just incorrect. I tend to get crushes on people I'm friends with fairly easily, but I still stay friends with them despite them not returning the feelings. I was legitimately in love with this one girl for a year and a half, and I stayed friends with her despite her not returning the feelings. Eventually I got over it, and we're still good friends.
People who friendzone people this way know what they're doing. They know the other party has feelings for them and they use it to their advantage. This isn't the case always but usually it is.
Agreed.
so be aware and keep out.
Damn, you are the first chick who is legit about this. Bitchez be str8 up friendzoning guys to feel like they accomplished something in life worthy of a MTV special.👊😎
True I told them this even tho we were bestfreinds for 2 years but then I got freindzoned
That isn't the Friendzone. That's the person being a gold digger! Completely different than the Friendzone!
Damn girl......thank you for being honest.
The guy leaving the friendship is the healthiest thing for both parties. If she doesn't feel the same way then she should be honest other wise the friendship becomes toxic. it's not a big deal if friendships end because of honesty. She owes him nothing but he has right to be happy.
And thank you for pointing out the truth behind the actions of some people.
this is not really being friendzoned. You would still want to be the persons friend even if they said no to a bf/gf relationship. thats what makes it a friendzone
Max Ramos how about he got out of the friend zone?
Max Ramos But then wouldn't that actually be just friends??
Max Ramos it mean he left the friendzone
honestly sometimes is better break the friendship up because is more trouble than it's worth it
Well its actually a depiction of a guy finally breaking out of a friend zone by putting the issue of his feelings toward her on the table, instead of suffering silently in a relationship that isn't what he actually wants.
I like it. To be honest though if that guy chooses to walk away after that it does not make him a bad person. He just needs to know what he wants and if he does not want her as a friend it's ok. That's what guys in the friend zone need to realize. They have a choice.
Fellas, shoot your shot early. Don't wait until this becomes the situation
Instead of getting over her problems like an adult she instead decides to use another guy as her emotional tampon. True she doesn't owe him anything and the guy should have been more upfront with his feelings a lot sooner than this. A simple "Hey I'm cool being your friend but I also have deeper feelings than that for you. If you don't want to take it further than that then lets set some clear limits right now".
Dear,being friend is all about it.If you don't want to be an emotional tampon,speak about love not friendship and not be ''friends"until,you are not in relationships,OK?no need to pretend like you are an emotional tampon,when you just want love and sex
All of these debates in the comment section can be simplified into this:
Women believe the default state of male-female friendships is a man doing favors for a woman.
Men believe the default state of male-female friendships is them doing favors for each other EQUALLY.
Taka Masuda
Doing favours? Dating etc someone you REALLY never could see as more than a friend out of... What, pity? Guilt?
MissVasques or maybe out of the realization that a guy that is going to do this much for you would probably be good really good relationship material?
Taka Masuda amen
MissVasques do favors back for him equally or get the hint that he likes you and tell him it’s not happening. Don’t drag it out because it’s convenient to have free servants.
He needs to get that she doesn't owe him shit😂
She needs to get that he doesn't owe her either, he does not owe friendship to her. Relationships are 2 way streets. If you reject the kind of relationship one person wants with you, then why should they accept the kind of relationship you want with them? Relationships, friendship included, only work if both people are of similar emotional states toward each other.
She doesn't want to date him but he can still be the first person to hear about it when she meets a guy she does want to date!
when did he imply that she owes him anything? he's just into her. and coincidentally creepy and has terrible timing..
Sloe Bone why would he want to hear that
She needs to get that being around someone you love but doesn't love you back makes shit emotionally tones harder for the guy
Doesn't work that way. His happiness is in a world where they are together. If your happiness requires his happiness to be suppressed, then you two are fundamentally incompatible and should have never been close at all.
[HQ]Life well said.
Thank you 🙂
Friendship break ups hurt too
No, it doesn't. It can be invigorating letting go of people.
Definitely agree.
Yes, but time will cure the pain. In friend zone there is a constant pain, uncurable without changes in the life
Not really.
good things about thus video:
-good acting
-good message
-finally showing both sides
-æsthetically pleasing
Girl: Why are you such a good friend?
Boy: bcoz you are so amazing ...
That’s so brutal bro !
I wonder why people are blaming other people because they don't feel the things they want them to. You can't fucking force feelings.
Fay Gz That's why he is choosing to leave instead, I don't think he's wrong for that
Paola Gutierrez I agree on that.
Fay Gz If you agree with with him leaving then why the fuck did you make your initial comment?
RealityHurts923 Because he kept asking why wouldn't she date him and he even asked if he is not attractive enough. He kept saying about how great they would be together and that they "should" date. I agree with him leaving, I just don't agree with him trying to convice her that they should be together.
Fay Gz what you're saying is he doesn't even get to know why he's being rejected even tho they're great friends. it doesnt reslly make sense so you should understand his confusion. also sometimes one side can be confused initially cause they never saw the other side in that way and they automatically reject the idea even though she might ot know thats actually good. he pushed a bit didnt do anything wrong given that only after like lne single minute of questioning her lol he realized its hopeless anyway and went off. its not like he constantly harasses her to date him
"Why can't everything just stay how it was?" (Why am I in danger of losing the validation and love I always took for granted and fall back on when I repeatedly choose the wrong people to give my affection. Why can't he just be miserable and single and always pining for me.)
Dude, I'm pretty sure he can go meet other women instead of simping over one chick who clearly doesn't have any romantic or sexual interest in him. LOL.
@@obitouchiha6439 that's the idea. He can and should, however she'll hold it against him.
@@10101polo1 That's not his problem. He needs to grow up and stop the oneitis obsession.
So let's be frank: Nobody "deserves" anything from anyone. If she doesn't feel it, then she doesn't. BUT! That goes both ways. She doesn't deserve him torturing himself either. If you're not interested in some guy because he doesn't project sexuality or dominance - fine. But don't fucking shame someone for caring about his own feelings.
I don't get what's so hard about understanding that for a person to have unrequited love and be near the person he loves and being deeply emotionally involved hurts like shit. Especially when you have to experience so closely how she gives other people what you would like to share. So you deal with that situation.
Men and women shouldnt be that close anyway. No girl can expect a boy to be hugging her and her lying in his arm without him feeling attracted to her. It's just natural to feel that. If you wouldn't exploit a boy for emotional comfort maybe he wouldn't feel attracted to you and ruin your great "friendship"
Don't be friend if you can't.Its not girls fault.
End "friendship",don't play a victim.
I've been a girl who's been friends with a lot of guys. I've never had really good girl friends. In fact the best of my friends have been guys. Most guys I've been friends with end up liking me, and I just don't feel the same back, or the other way around. Either way, someone will end up with feelings, whether it's known or not. It sucks for one person or sometimes both (like in this story). You can't just turn off your feelings for someone, and it's hard to just be friends with someone you really like, but at the same time you don't want to loose that person out of your life. I wish being friends with people of the opposite sex was easier.
It never gets easier. I lost a 17 year old friendship to this exact situation.
If you like them enough to be friends and not have them out of your life then why so hesitant to date them? Perhaps you have all these high standards you judge them by in which case they shouln't even be friends with you to begin with
RIP Clover
@@therandom-tj7ty wait, did she really die?
@@adayinforever yep
why did you invite him over in the middle of the night and cuddle with him? get real you were leading him on...that isn't "friendly"
Crimson Clover If he had been a She would you feel the same?
Thank you! Now I think we should go to dinner
It's complicated because you're the "nice guy" and she wants a real man who will be strong and not weak.... being in the friend zone sends messages to her that you are weak.
SJ
So true.
Let's be honest here, if the guy was the one that wanted support and the girl was pushing for a relationship he would still be seen as the asshole. Double standards are a real thing.
Martin Ezequiel you're right
Martin Ezequiel Yup
This is one of the many reasons that people need to not see platonic love as less than romantic or sexual love. Stuff like "just friends" and "I want to be more than friends" give off this idea that being friends is a lesser thing.
Catherine George THIS
YOU ARE AMAZING HUMAN BEING WITH AN AMAZING POINT OF VIEW AND THANK YOU!!!
because that is the case. platonic friendship and being with someone are completely different on a fundamental level. Both can be gems in their own way, but being in love with someone means that no matter what you find yourself doing things for them without them asking you for it. The acts of love are much more intimate than that of a friendship, which you cannot share, then it would not be friendship. Friendship is a more lighthearted version of love, like love of your family. do not confuse the two, both have purpose and benefits. But having love of a friend is not the same as having the feeling of love that makes you want to share your life with someone in a much closer way.
Yeah, it's different. Of course it's different. If it wasn't different, there wouldn't be 2 different words. But that doesn't mean platonic is less. Hell, most of the time it's a better relationship. But people don't value their friends, because everyone wants to get a romantic relationship.
Platonic love is fine if its all that both parties are interested in.
Oh look!!! My fucking hopeless love life
Relatable
blood line ohh I do know what it is, my question do they?
blood line I do know why I don't have it. And that's because the world has become to dynamic for me...and honestly I don't care. The love of my family is all I'm gonna have or need.
blood line well if u got one u can try. Not like I've heard every advice ever. Go for it
blood line I'm sorry I don't get it pls explain again 😓 simpler sorry
I love that this shows both sides. However, I love the guy's argument. If a guy likes a girl who doesn't like him back, it's honestly best for him to try and move on and forget her. It's too much to be living in pain like that.
I call this the F*ck zone. When they've lead me on with friendship that I thought was meaningful, turns out they wanted something else. The moment they realize it won't happen, they've rejected the friendship. I start thinking in toxic ways like I didn't bring enough value to keep my friend.
He sure is getting an earful for a guy that's just her friend.
They can't be friends. As soon as she starts dating someone seriously the friendship will have to end. He's better off going for it because the friend thing isn't a real option anyway.
"I have these feelings, they won't go away." lmfao, not her problem.
Hardcore Vlogging Okay. Idc.
hard case of self-centrism here.
No,like seriously, it's just a video. It's stupid for someone to say,"fuck you," when I'm just expressing my opinion. Like, I'm not insulting anyone. See that person ranting up there? That's ridiculous.
Bitchy no women has the right to use any man as emotional tampon and then use sham tactic to make him forget his feelings and stay devoted to her and be basically her bitch
Anime Log 9.1 Okay.
"Nobody ever dates me so I never get that far"..... okay don't make this about you right now. Your friend is clearly hurting
Human often communicate with each other through experience.
maya anne they both are hurting. but neither were capable of seeing it and showing empathy.
Katrine B. Harr Dybdahl talking about your problems over someone else isn't empathy. If they were empathetic, they would have seen how that comment wasn't appropriate at that time.
Sky Moore more like she got angry that he was using their friendship as an ultimatum
"Your friend". Now, that's cringe.
Just walk away, fella. This ain't gonna go the way you want it to. She is not attracted to you, that is simply what she means. Maybe after she gets hurt for the 50th time she might come around and realise how great you are because what's meant to be will be but you should not put your life on hold in the meantime. It is good you came clean and spoke honestly, I really applaud you for that. But she just wants you to be her agony uncle and you want to be more. There is a disparity in expectations,. And stop imposing on her. She doesn't owe you reciprocity. Tell her how you feel without making her feel stupid. And the girl should understand your feelings too, of course. This girl is just me, me and me.
Look at the end of the day he doesn't owe her a friendship, and she doesn't own him a girlfriend so the best thing for them is just to move on it hurts like hell but its for the best
I know so so so many people will disagree with me but I honestly don’t think a man and a woman can be “just friends”. Sooner or later one will start to develop feelings of more than just friends and if the feeling isn’t mutual, then the “friendship” won’t work. I don’t care if you’re single, married, divorced, if you’re of the opposite sex and you get too close to them, there’s like a 70% chance this will happen. I’ve seen it happen so many times to so many of my friends. It’s never happened to me because I’ve never allowed it to. Like I said, I know many will disagree but those are my two cents.
My grandmother told me once.
"Joshua a man and women cannot be friends there are some special cases where it works but most of the time one has some type of atraction towards the other for example your godfather and that girl Tatiana he says they are just friends but i´m 100% she wants his cock in her real bad"
They can be just friends, but if one wants more, that should be addressed. Otherwise it turns toxic.
This guy's complete nice guy, he's trying to fix a problem that isn't his then confesses to her on the wrong time after her break up.
If she wants a friend or someone to talk to get a girl not a guy ladies please
This is not what the friend zone is about. The friend zone isn't some douche being a horrible person, it's a person (no matter what gender) that has romantic feelings for a good friend and won't be able to act upon them because that friend doesn't feel the same way and it would destroy the friendship. In the real friend zone you can't break apart because of a simple fight because you value the other person too much! You will stay no matter how heartbroken you are because their presence makes you happy nonetheless. The friend zone is a tragedy, not some guy who only wants sex.
Pretty sure you are talking about unrequited love
Al Unrequited love with someone who still likes you as a friend is my definition of the friend zone.
Unrequited love can also be with someone who doesn't want anything to do with you.
The guy insinuated that he only wanted sex, but it’s selfish of her to not give him a hand (literally and metaphorically) if he’s comforting her, why is she selfish enough not to comfort him also?
him wanting to be with her does not mean he is just looking for sex. it that were the case he would just offer her to be friends with benefits.
@@elessal or hookup
sooo... he must care for her even though he's the one thats gettting hurt?
Mm Ee ikr, it's been a good minute for her issues and she sure sobered up when he started up
Why being it up when she is in pain tho? It doesn't make any sense
@@antonioaguirre9295 prolly cz he only realised that when she dated the other guy n he started getting jealous but he kept it to himself n waited till things got done for to tell her... also he prolly feared that she would meet another person n then he would be stuck again...
@@4kram207 you have a point but he could have admitted it in a better way or a better time like when she is talking to a new guy or any time other than when she is overwhelmed with feelings. Like I admitted my feelings as a secondary message and my primary message is that she should focus on her happiness and well being. However, he didn't practice self love or even minimal selflessness that comes with being someone's friend. In other words, he put forth a topic that is potentially friendship ending during a time that the focus was not on his feelings but her hurting. It's like asking for owed payment while your friend is heading to the hospital or is losing their house. It is a valid issue but the timing of being it up is exploitative and selfish.
The girl's arguments are so bad hahaha
She said no. She shouldn't even have to justify it.
Nadia Bartrand He wanted to leave. He shouldn't have to justify it.
''He shouldn't have to justify it'' She wanted him to justify it cause her ego ( illusion) was hurt. Simple and i agree he shouldve just left.
@@vsiny lemme guess, you are a feminist.....
Macedonicus Exactly. Funny how some people don’t ever think that far ahead unless they have some personal issues with the opposite sex and think their more superior like feminists for example
I need a new lava lamp. Lmao this isn't about friend zones, it's about subliminally selling lava lamps! Conspiracy lmao
don't even try scrolling into the comments, it's mostly butthurt guys who don't value having women as friends.
so true! i wish i saw this comment earlier. it would've daved me loads
She is not his friend. If she was she would care about his feelings. Maybe not return them, but care. She is just using him for emotional support from her bad life choices in partners. She admits that he is the last friend still putting up with her bullshit herself.
Camila it seems to me that she is the one who is completely without friends and made bad choices in partners since she had a bad breakup and has trouble getting over it. He mentions having other friends in the scene at the door. She also admits to moving for her partner even though both agree that there wasn't something good to see in her partner in the first place. This all points to her having a pattern of making bad decisions in her choice of friends and partners. He has feelings for her, her breakup was weeks ago. How is he being an asshole for bringing up the suggestion that he, the only one who sticks with her through good and bad times, might be a better choice for partner? It is not right after her breakup. I agree that the bit about not being able to be close to her as a mere friend is not nice, but likely honest, especially once she casually brushes away his feelings for her as if they were nothing and only her own mattered (likely a reason she doesn't have many friends if she does that with everyone).
+Taladar2003 Yeah, I agree on some level, but I think the boy could've said his reasonings for why he likes her you know? a girl always loves a man that not only can say his words, but have deep explanations behind his words as well.
Della Swanson There's something wrong when eloquence is the most desirable trait. In america, we have all kinds of shapes, sizes, nationalities and social/cultural backgrounds. Maybe your people were English tea-sippers that migrated to the US when the wild west days were over with? Give me a girl from West Kingston or Matamoros that values common sense/street smarts over table ediquet or an endless vocabulary of Greek and Latin derived jibberish; and we'll make a bet to see who's kids survive the bloodshed when a college degree in social science is no longer worth the paper used to make it.
Pretty good acting here.
Guys, if a friendship with a girl is causing you pain, walk away. No matter how you feel about her, you have to put your own well-being first.
I'm a girl and I have a crush on my best friend and I have to break it off. Most of the comments seem to be from people who relate to the girl so I'll try to explain the other side.
1) you're lying to them by not being honest about your feelings. If I want more, I have to tell them or break it off. I'm choosing the latter.
2) it's super fucking painful for them to not like you back bc obviously rejection but also you invest so much into this relationship & emotional energy that it gets draining.
3) there's a different level of commitment in relationships. That's what I want with her. But that kind of commitment is not in friendships.
4) I've spent too many hours in dark movie theaters or classrooms or cafes waiting for her to reciprocate or thinking about kissing her. It's so much fucking pain.
I'm sorry I caught feelings. I'm sorry my brain put a halo on you. I'm really sorry.
Treetop Sprites What you're talking about is lust, not love. Love is not a phase, it's forever.
IncipientBeauty Maybe you should tell her about your true feelings before breaking up your friendship. Who knows, maybe she has the same feelings & is just afraid of expressing them just like you. Then that'll be a terrible tragedy. & what the worst can happen? You'll get rejected & it gonna break up your friendship. But you're gonna break it off anyway. So why not first take a chance. At least you'll know & when you're 80 you won't have to look back & wonder what if. Take a chance man & have faith. Just a little bit of courage or regret for the rest of your life, the choice is your to make. Best wishes. ✌
wise words... maybe. but i understand what you mean. asking will bring me closure. :)
IncipientBeauty Perfectly written. I agree with you and can totally relate to your response.
I feel for the guy in this one. He picked a bad time to tell her but she was pretty harsh
That's a fine creative concept, but I have a question for the maker of this video, have you ever been friendzoned? Look, if the guy had agreed to be her friend at that time, when she needed him, he would remain her friend, even after her recovery from that miserable state, then she would again go dating 'bad boys' and 'boys of her type' nad would eventually forget the guy who had always been by her side. It have always been this way, it's no body's fault, just a faulty idea of crush, dating, and love. Love someone who has the potential to love you back, stand away otherwise. I would say the guy did the right thing. :)
I actually have been "friendzoned," possibly twice, depending on how you define it. And yeah, maybe sometimes going separate ways is the only option, if the feelings are extremely strong or have been growing for a real long time. But this video is called "The Other Side of the Friendzone" because it's supposed to take a look at the "friendzoner's" perspective (in this case, the girl). And even if the guy is right to leave, I think we can all agree that it sucks for her. She's losing a close friend just because she isn't attracted to him. Too often only the guy/friendzoned perspective is shown (though it obviously can be a girl who's friendzoned too), and the girl is shown as shallow and stupid. But think of it this way: most guys wouldn't date a girl who they're not attracted to, even if she is great. So why do we expect girls to?
Anyway, sorry this post is so long and meandering! It's a complex issue for sure, and I'm not one to say that you're necessarily wrong. You might be right, and probably are in some situations. Here were my own two experiences with the "friend zone":
1) In middleschool, and high school I had a huge crush on a friend, and when I finally told her, she didn't have the same feelings. We remained friends after that, but admittedly were a less close (though part of that was because I left for college). Also, we'd never been best friends, just good friends in a group.
2) The second time was in college, and only sort of counts, but it did effect the writing of this script. I was pretty close friends with another girl, but wasn't in to her to begin with because I was still hung up on a someone else. I talked to her about that stuff, and it was very platonic. But I got to thinking eventually that I got along with her so well and liked her so much that maybe I wanted to make sure that would last. (There's a similar line in the video, though in a slightly different context). I thought "some day she'll get in a relationship, and we won't be able to be quite as close as we are now then. Plus, if we're not dating, we'll probably go our separate ways after college." So I kind of grew feelings for her because of that, and when I expressed them, she ended up turning me down. But i made it very clear to her that I still wanted to be friends, and we stayed good friends for the rest of college, and then we moved to opposite sides of the country. Now staying friends was a little easier for me in that situation because the feelings for her had grown out of a place of really valuing the friendship in the first place. And after the initial sting of rejection, it was nice to keep on hanging out with her.
Goes to show, there are different situations and different answers. But I do think guys need to understand the other side better, and value platonic friendships way more than they do, without always looking to "upgrade" to a romantic one. I've had some very meaningful platonic friendships with girls. And one of them, when we were making a different short film about friend zones, said something that inspired this film. "When guys complain about being in the friend zone, it's like they're complaining about being friends with you." I'll never forget that. That's not all there is to the situation, but that's definitely a valid perspective. After all, if you're "in the friend zone", at least you have a friend. It could be worse.
no I don't think you have been friendzoned 4:20 they are arguing about platonic love vs non platonic love like which ice cream is better chocolate or vanilla . And I have asked this question but I have seen it's been deleted but why at 5:20 when she is talking about other people she loves (platonically ) her mother , sister and her old high school friend from Wyoming . Why didn't she call those people instead of this guy . I have a question for her if this guy was in a relationship would have she called him in the 1st place
Not sure if it was intentional but its amazing how ironic the girls perspective is here, like she is the victim and guys are just using her to get a chance at dating when in reality, she is the one using the guys for attention, validation, favors, and security. she says "why can't you just be my friend" as if she's entitled to a guy being her best friend without him getting anything in return. Its hilarious and extremely accurate. The truth is men don't do all that stuff unless they think there's a chance of dating you and women are somehow naiive to this obvious common sense
Hahahaha just throw away the friendship, he has more friends and he'll find someone else.
To play"friendzone"?right?
"Why can't everything just stay the way it was?" You know....when I could use this guy as my sounding board, shoulder to cry on and emotional tampon , and he rushed to my apartment at 2 in the morning whenever guys treated me like dirt? Why? Why? Why? This video doesn't even rule out the possibility that she might be only asserting their friendship when she needs him, then being a stranger whenever she finds a new relationship. Can you say "exploit?"
This is sad because both people are broken here... and they can't fix themselves if either person was to get their way... this showed that.
I feel it captured how a lot of guys think there has to be a definite reason why you don't like them in that way because sometimes, you just don't.
I think it's okay to pursue her.. even if you're friendzoned.. just not at a time where she just needs a friend and or is vulnerable.
Akshat giri when is he supposed to tell her then? A month after? A year later? Perhaps he wanted her badly and wasn't able to hold his feelings any longer. I mean, the guy didn't force the girl into having a relationship with him. He just wanted to express how he felt.
I feel like the guy chose the worst time to confess his feelings and he didn’t even use that timing to his advantage. Like, she had just been rejected by a guy, and he was being rejected by her. I think that would’ve been a great time to explore sympathy instead of getting all defensive. Like, he could’ve said “Now I know what he made you feel. It’s the worst feeling in the world, and I’m sorry he makes you feel that!” Instead, he makes it all about himself and his imperfections and insecurities. I hate that. Of course, I’m not sure how much better I am. But I also feel like my circumstances are much different.
He wants her, she wants to friendzone him. He should walk away, and that's that.
Sounds about right to me
I am telling from my own experience:
"We were friends, she was in an emotional and vulnerable state. Then I came forward to help her out. And throughout the time we became best friends. Now she is fine. Meanwhile some feelings about her grew inside of me, even without my awareness, and when I realized I was totally into her. I didn't tell her about those feelings because she was in a mentally crisis stage. But now she is fine and good. And now when I was about to tell her about my feelings, she introduced me with her boyfriend."
So @Chrissy3480 , can you tell me when is the time for friend zoned guy to express about their feelings??
There is no such any time for guys who have been friend zoned. They can just suffer it, and tell there secretly loved one with a crazy smile-"I am okay, we are really nice friends".
Friend Zone is only suffering... No matter how heart broken I was or those guys who are friend zoned, they stay around those girls because their presence makes them happy.
You know sometimes I think (you can skip this) "Girl's brain is upside down that why they like to friend zone guys"
they are both wrong and right ....
He was only wrong for not walking away and he shouldn’t had to explain himself and she was wrong for keeping him from leaving and respecting his feelings even though she doesn’t feel the same way. He doesn’t owe her a friendship and she doesn’t owe him a romantic relationship
😂 do ya realize ya getting mad at a dude for not getting over you, when you not getting over your ex. Plus ya acting like a nigga supposed to cut off his feelings for you out of nowhere when 99% of the time you spent mixed messages. 😂 😂
So important- I'm disgusted that I used to be exactly this guy
@Pariah Not even vaguely?
@Pariah I knew this reply is recent purely because no one ever used this word back in 2017
This happened to me a lot in high school. I wasn't interested in dating at all and was focused on school. I would have guys become my best friends and try to be there for me and I would be there for them. Then they would disappear completely once they found out I didn't want to date them. Some called me a tease or a whore because I wouldn't date them...I never did anything to tease them. I never even flirted or wore anything sexy (not that that gives a man a right to say that to someone). It was all male entitlement. They can not be attracted to lots of girls but when a girl they like deneys them they flip shit and act like they DESERVE her or else SHE is a horrible person.
Sunnyfoot G it's not male entitlement, that's a very ignorant statement, I think it's more so that it's really hard for men, especially men, to stay friends with people they have feelings for, and plus, since men are hard wired since birth to no show emotions the only emotion they know is anger, that's why when most guys are hurt they become angry, it's the only way we know how to show emotions
Lol that isn't the woman's fault that you guys can't show your emotions. You have a choice. And you have the ability to realize that no one owes you. So if you are a friend then be a friend. If you want more then be honest about it and don't act like someone owes it to you because you were nice to them a few times.
Pseudonym were you there? Are you me? You can't fucking tell me whether or not she led me on. You're sitting here acting like women are fucking saints, no where in there did I "act like a child" simply because she didn't like me, there's a lot more to what she did than what I said, she's not a good person and she even said so, and please point out when I insulted the girl? You're literally just trying to bend MY story to make me look like a complete dick and that's not how it went at all, we tried talking it out and that's when her true colors came out. You weren't there, you have absolutely no idea how it went, so you have no room to tell me how MY fucking story went
You nailed it. I'm sorry but this guy who spoke to me a lot sulked when I didn't date him. His attitude when he would ditch a party and sit in his car and just blank me for not wanting him back was actually why I didn't even try. He didn't like me for more than looks because, (maybe this doesn't apply to all) I can tell the person I love what I love about them as a PERSON. He couldn't. It was all on looks but he was so stubborn and wanted to and everyone looked at me like the bad person. It's really hard for women. As well as men. None of it's easy but if you truly care for someone their happiness comes first. Not your place in their life and what you think they owe you.
ZerooZ Still. Nobody owes you anything.
She may be a bitch for leading you on but when you grow up you realize nobody on this earth owes you anything. And that sucks, because I've been "friendzoned" before until I realized he doesn't owe me anything and the best I can do is be there for him.
I don't owe him friendship either, but I chose to still befriend him because well, friendships are great too.
"Friendzone" is the silliest thing ever made up by guys. usually for 1 of 2 reasons:
1) They are too afraid to make a move (like actually telling the person they like them)
2) They cant accept that the other person is not into them in that way (whether it is in general or at that moment, like they just got out of another relationship).
The friendzone really needs to stop being a thing
“Nobody ever dates me, so I don’t get that far.” I can relate on so many levels
Friend zone...... Nice way to tell you that you have everything she wants including financial support but you are to nice and not good looking enough for her. Don't worry after they hit the wall they will be calling you
I Like To Eat Catz . Sorry to hear that. It sucks but the wait is well worth it!!
Sabre Fall . A person can only give so much of themselves not to mention emotions as well. After time of being used and manipulated it leaves the person being used feeling like they are not good enough. No one should ever have to feel like that.
It's selfish to tell him to stay. She knows it's hurting him to bury his emotions and be around someone who won't love him back. Telling him to continue suffering is cruel and callous. As his friend, she should never want to hurt him like that and let him leave of his own volition. If he returns after the hurt stops, that's great. If not, wish him the best.
LMAOOOO THIS IS SO ON POINT
If he wants more than you why would you want to keep him around as just a friend? That's some screwed up selfishness there. He doesn't owe you a friendship just like you don't owe him a relationship. If you don't want the same things then you both should move on.
I invested 11 and 6 years of friendship with these two guys, one from school and one from church. they were literally my best friends and I even introduced them. but, the moment I started dating my current boyfriend, they stopped talking to me, stopped replying to my texts, stop answering my calls and even commenting mean things on the pictures with my boyfriend. I asked why, and got a defensive response like: now that you're happy and in love you don't need me anymore. it broke my heart, I wanted them in my life because I loved them as my friends but I guess they were never really true to begin with. this is what boys don't understand about the so-called friendzone
Fabiola Davila They were true. They were afraid of losing the possibility of being with you and knowing you the way someone only can in a committed relationship.
They lost hope when you started dating that other guy. You got 11 and 6 years of the best kind of friends a woman can have- friends who care more deeply than a simple happy face that wants to go drink or whatever.
Their greatest fears came true, and all of the time and effort they put in to show you their worthiness was discarded.
No, they didn't 'just want in your pants' as so many women are fond of saying. Maybe they failed to make their intentions clear. Maybe they did and you rejected them, but they didn't realize it or it wasn't clear.
In any case, they each spent years learning how to be the best versions of themselves for you. You lost two friends with a combined 17 years of laughs and secrets. They lost a combined 17 years of someone they loved dearly. It was so difficult, that they couldn't watch as the person they spent a combined 17 years on discarded them.
They weren't right to do what they did. But you houldnt judge them like that.
I've seen so many friends go through this it's sickening. some women straight used them, some were oblivious. I always tell friends to force resolution so they don't have to deal with the torture. Basically an ultimatum - either she's interested or she isnt. if she is, great! if she isn't... His time and effort need to go somewhere that won't hurt him anymore.
Jake Allison well this was not the case. I am not judging them, nor did I use them like you said. I still have so many other male friends I love and are still by my side for over 10 years. I know how to take care of my friendships! but these two just stopped answering, they were not even trying to say hi. I am not saying they were tying to get into my pants but their actions speak multitudes to me.
Fabiola Davila Maybe. I wasn't there. A guy from the internet isn't going to change your mind anyway. Just putting it out there that they didn't act that way for no reason, and to walk away after all that time means they were probably really hurting. Maybe they felt betrayed. Whatever you say to me doesn't matter.
Ask yourself if maybe they felt used, or discarded. Ask yourself if you could have helped them steer away from this outcome earlier on, since you cared for them so dearly (I'm not being sarcastic).
Was there a way you could have been a better friend and prevented this? Or helped them to find a meaningful relationship?
Why is it you're upset that they have gone on to cope in their own ways? Are you happy or indifferent that they are avoiding being hurt more, and potentially moving closer to happiness?
Did you value them? Or did you value how they made you feel?
Not accusing, or attacking, or being sarcastic. The answers are yours alone. I hope they will provide clarity.
I once had a friend who was in a committed relationship who would sabotage my prospects because she wanted me to always we around to be friends with her.
Same person who kept introducing me to women I wasn't attracted to because she didn't want a woman in the social circle who could potentially draw the eye of her boyfriend.
Pretty garbage, huh? I can't talk to her anymore. Her selfishness and insecurity did a lot of damage to me.
Treetop Sprites thank you ♡♡♡♡
She posted a story from her personal life. I provided input based on my observations - and yes, I was once in a position where I gained a detailed understanding of being on each side of the friendzone. I won't defend what I said because it is true and I've done nothing wrong.
I will correct you though.
No one specifically is the problem. It's a human problem. The questions I asked were to help provide perspective and understanding. I don't really care what she does with them. I will always support thought and consideration over ignorance hiding behind a hard shell.
Women are more likely than men to miss the signs a man is interested, while men are more likely to see flirting where there is none. This is an inherent problem that seems to be nature rather than nurture. The aforementioned phenomenon causes all kinds of problems, and is one of the paths that leads to the dreaded "friendzone".
And then there are people out there who intentionally ignore blatant rejection (not talking about hints), and there are people out there who manipulate others to benefit themselves.
But if sticking your head in the sand suits you, have at it. I wish you the best.
I am a male and the sad thing is the fact that for men it is close to fucking impossible to care about a girl only in the way of a friendship
this is stupid u point out how you love them but he loves you like a relationship which is way different then you're family or a girl that u keep comparing him too
Sean Stanley That's the point, though. Is she not allowed to love him like she loves her family members?
Sean Stanley right; it's different when it's romance vs bromance - she can't compare him to a sister - he's not family; and incriminating Him for having those feelings is wrong
little froe well I don't think she incriminating him for having those feelings it's just the fact that she literally said your the only friend I have and he says he loves her and cares about her but will drop her like a hot potato if she doesn't date him Is that really caring? And is it ok for her saying I care about you but not like that so bottle up your feelings and be my friend? it just sucks from both sides
Sean Stanley I thought the family reference was reductive & odd too. as close as he may seem he's not your family so it's not uncommon to be attracted to a "best friend"
Sean Stanley I know right.
She says he's her only friend and he goes and does that to her.
"Friend zone" is just using men emotionally, and it's a stab in the back and shows women's true rotten and vacuous character when they want to use a guy emotionally but they don't want to be with him physically because he's not enough of an asshole, because he's good to use emotionally. And she wouldn't be a friend to him when he needed a friend. She'd think he was weak. The only people there for guys when a guy needs a friend are other guys. That's why it only pays to be an asshole to women, and it's all women's fault.
'' he's not enough of an asshole'' is a blue pill excuse. The right term is, he's not good looking enough for her.
Boon Doggle bullseye
Facts my dude.
trsh you're right not all girls only want to use their guy friends just as emotional support. I try my best to be there for him. He was the one who said he never thought about me romantically from the start. Now that he's developed feelings for me I can't help but feel like I'm just hurting him and I should stop being best friends like before. But then again he said I should forget about his feelings and stay friends like before but each time we talk I can feel his pain. It's hard for me to watch my best friend hurt because of me. I wish I knew what to do.
Friends are there for eachother, they hug, talk to eachother, be there for eachother etc. Even if they're boy and girl. Men/women who "are there" for women/men just to get a relationship are manipulative and once they dont get what they want they show their true colors. Attraction matters. Anyone who believes being friends should lead to a relationship don't know how friendships work.
He's saying every time he sees her it'll just remind him of the rejection,they'll just not be able to talk for a while
Sadly,but most men think that taking care to emotional girl is the easiest way to get love/sex.
Its not.People in their emotional times not always need it.Sometimes they just need emotionally support.
This guy is crazy. Being a friend of hers is a blessing, don't throw away it.
This shit happened to me.... exactly these conversations... I hope it won't happen to anyone ever again!!!
Most guys that end up in the friend zone end there because a lack of authenticity. It's messed up, and manipulative. They try trick the girl into liking them.
She had expectations of the guy she had a crush on but refuses to empathize with the person she claims to be a "friend" to when he has the same type of crush on her. Pretty brutal and hypocritical on her part. I hope he learned his lesson and found someone who genuinely cares about him as a person, whether a real friend or a girlfriend.