hey . mike I just happened. To run across your message like 2 or 3 days ago listeners To you said to myself right on .I figured you were a black comedian Out here on the web given it a whirl so I wanted to check you out man. Most the time. Black comedians are really funny and have a savvy of sliding real life into. Something funny and always with a white ribbing involved. It's genaric I guess .But. i really got into your insite look.thia guys cool .cpuple go by and get there's that dude gotta take listen I listened to 3 of your speak outs I just listened to this one .i think you are a really balanced. Hyman being. And envyyou
Chaz. I am a Psychotherapist and your assessment was brilliant and on point. I actually have been forwarding your link to some of my close female friends or former clients. Bravo my brother. God bless you. Keep of the good work.
You help me a lot with your advice. Im in the situation with this guy played my emotions. Now i will send him your wonderful message. God bless you always.
@@19.sciencetechnology30I am a counsellor and a psychotherapist and I talk all different kind of lingo/slang at times. it doesn't mean that I'm not professional
Stop trying to win ! Once you start accepting they got the best of you and let them win , you will realize that you never wanted them in the first place ... It's the answers that you were after not the person...stop playing along and gain your power back😌 don't waste your time and energy on players 👌✊✌️
Hmm, very true. It is defiantly the answers people are after. Even when they love the person, still once games start its answers they are then searching for.
Facts! 1000% Facts! If you took the time to step back and truly evaluate your desire to be with them, you will find out that the addiction was the chase not actual substance between you and he/she.
Me too. The look on their face, to see that their game does not work on you, is priceless. Once I notice they playing games. I don't even tell them I'm not gonna play their game, I just act like we never was trying to get to know each other in the first place. They be like, I thought we were in a relationship. I be like, oh my bad I thought we were just chilling as friends, I never looked at you like that. I have my eyes on someone else right now. If it don't work out, I'll let you know and we can see what we can do later. Later never comes. They stuck in the friend zone. They pay a lot to try and get your mind off the one they think you want. lol
This is so true. I just went straight no contact with a guy who started playing games. He's been calling and texting at least every other day ever since. Right now I don't even want to talk to him. Don't know if I will. Right now I feel if he wants to prove he's real he has to find another way to contact me because I'm not feeling it at this time. I do miss him but he started the game and I'm not playing it with him.
You have fully turned on the light switch on my brain. I'm the type of person that can get over shit quickly once I find the answer. This REALLY helped clarify certain things.
This is so true.... you just made me realise I’m not really in love with him I’m just caught up in the game, I’m caught up trying to achieve the unobtainable cause if I get him I think I’d actually freak out lol he’s not even my type... 🤔
You’re not chasing them, you’re chasing the answer. Damn that hit me and it’s so true. Mines a lil different. He confesses his love to me , how attractive he finds me, makes the plans, then bails. NEVER follows thru. I’ve been chasing the answer this whole time. I don’t even know if I like them because I don’t even know him that well. But I fell in love with the idea of him and the chase. I felt like there was a connection and he really liked me. But this shit needs to end. I have so much going on in my life and he has NOTHING. I think he is insecure and intimidated by me. A woman that has her own place, own style, determination and beauty.
Dang this guy narrated exactly what happened to me months ago. Chasing answers and wanting to know why he did what he did. I saw it coming but ignored it. But now i have learned.He speaks the truth.
oh why why why is this so accurate?! My first problem was that I didn't really even like him in the first place! go with ur first mind..trust ur intuition! it may save a lot of nonsense
Wow!!! I guess I am too honest and transparent. It's just not in me to "play games." I am always prepared to walk away! I prefer to use my universal energy to help others. Thanks Chaz!!
You forgot the low self esteem. When a person has low self esteem they will play games bc they don't feel up to par with what they think are your standards so they play with you.
WOW this is 100% right. You really get it. At first I thought you were talking about a general game playing.... but after hearing the whole thing I see you are describing a sociopath. This applies to friendships and relationships. And you are right about not being so interested in the first place (that's the intuition telling us to stay away) and later chasing answers and truth.
I. NEEDED. THIS... Thank you so much.. my head is finally clear after all this time. and i realized it when you said "when you get him, you gon dump him anyways" lmfao.... that's when it hit me. thanks so much again.
This is so powerful and so simple when you finally decide in your heart to "stop playing the game and stop trying to win". Any power that person has over you just dissipates and peace flows over you.
This video is so fitting and ironic. Just two weeks before this was made, I met someone who fit this damn description completely. If only I had seen this video on the date it was posted, I would have saved myself so much heartbreak. Dammit man! Oh well, we live and we learn.....
The best advice I can give for this problem and most problems when it comes to relationships is to intellectually think about the situation. If you thought intellectually about the individual playing games from the get go and put your emotions in check, you would drop them in a heartbeat and never look back. There needs to be a balance in relationships, and one person putting in more effort than the other, confusion, miscommunication, etc all that needs to be resolved.
Love is a game everyone wants to play but nobody wants to end up losing. If you are serious about your relationship then no one wants to have a player in their life. Know your partner well before it's too late because it's hard to walk away after you feel attached to him.
You just dont sleep with them period. Once you even smell game your out. There are no second chances. Life is too short. If you busy yourself with upgrading your life you will realize there are not that attractive and in reality you will witness how really unstable they are in all areas of their life. It gets easier as you get older and wiser.
It's difficult to find a guy who won't play games with you even how honest and loyal you are to him. You just have to give all your trust and it's up to him if he'll value that because there are no secrets that can be keep forever.
You have to stop fuel their energy so the games would stop .i told him you are the king of mixed signals and that my heart is not a playground so go play somewhere else
I guess u only can see them for who they really are only when u wake up from the spell of love. and for some men: they're in love with idea that :( a woman is in love with them & can't get them) rather than: (in love with the woman herself) ; in other words, they are using women only to boost their self image and confidence.
1. You're amazing 2. I learned something. To avoid heartbreak you have to talk to the person - that's the only way! Imagine somebody playing with you and at the end they aren't interested anymore while you're already deeply madly in love. Once you know what you're ON, how he sees you, you know what to do. Sure it might hurt a little(or a little more) but it sure will hurt a lot less then when you're in love and learn s/he doesn't love you back.. So to all the people out there, just breaking their asses over someone cause they don't know what they're on and they have mood swings because of that person(he seems cold,IM SAD..he seems interested IM HAPPY) listen YOU NEED TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON. Don't keep torturing yourself like that untill you've fallen for it, and then s/he may blow you off, now that's a real deal. Sure you can keep suspecting with love me not's, but you can and will be wrong, the only person that can tell you what's going on is the one you like/love. Grab some balls and do it, save yourself. Love can be dangerous.
This has to be one of the best videos I have seen on relationships! Every single thing you said in this video is true! This happened to me over 6 months ago...and it ended because I finally realized how stupid I was being by trying to win a hopeless situation. I am literally in shock at how right you are! Keep posting videos like this, we need them! Love your work!
Wow! You nailed it!!! Our intuition tells us when someone is playing games!! But the Chase is fun!! They Chase you in the beginning, then the games start slowly coming into play. Wtf? Thx for sharing your thoughts! Losers block the door so the blessings cannot enter!! Life is too short to waste time! Self worth is more important!
Smfh. The disappearing act... They know that shit ain't Right. Trying to make folks look all stupid and shit... Don't no damn body deserve all that foolishness.
They like playing games because they know the don't deserve us they feel inferior but in fact they really like or have strong feelings for us. Quit the games they are not worthy at all...be assertive and just walk away. Agree with you man...thanks for confirming my understanding🖒🌷
THIS IS ONE OF MY MANY FAVORITE VIDEOS. I was laughing standing up clapping to this because he has said nothing but the truth and this is what I needed to hear. I pray God continues to bless you, Chav & to continue shedding the light to women & men alike.
I'm currently in this situation right now. But I have a piece of my mind& told him that I'm done with him. At this point whether he calls, text, show up at my house or school I want absolutely nothing to do with him cuz I just buried the relationship. Thanks the video was def an eye opener! Now let me wipe my tears
This video explained to a TEE the situation that I found myself in and the foolery lasted over a year. The part where you talked not really wanting the person, but wanting to “win” the situation, really resonated with me. This video also helped me acknowledge that I wasn’t a victim in that situation as much as participant and see that the individual started from a place insecurity. I wish I would’ve seen this two months ago, but it has provided me with clarity to continue to move on. When he comes back, I’m just going to let him know up front. Thanks for this video! 🙏🏾🙏🏾
You talk so much sense!! This is EXACTLY what I'm going through. I can't believe how much you've opened my eyes to this kind of relationship. Wow, wow and wow!
How to Deal with Game Playing Master Class 101. Devalue a players: When someone plays games they generally do it so that they can get attention and gain the upper hand in the relationship. Most people don't really care if this is negative or positive attention as long as they feel that they still have the same or greater value because to their actions. Showing a person that is playing games that they have lost value is a great way to let them see that what they are doing is negatively affecting them so that they will stop. 102. Ignoring: We often spend a lot of our time paying attention to things that make us unhappy, instead of focusing on the things that make us smile. When someone is playing games, they are generally trying to get the attention that they probably didn't get it their previous relationships. Ignoring them can show them that this does not work with you and that they will need to try another method. 103. Rewarding good behavior: We often want people to behave a certain way but often take it for granted when they do. A lot of people have been taken for granted in the past and this is why they choose to play games in the first place. Rewarding good behavior shows that once they act the way that you want them to, they will get the positive affirmation that they may not have received in previous relationships. Save 15% on the How to Deal with Game Playing Master Class with Coupon Code: stopthegames sellfy.com/p/38Eq/
There’s a man who is playing game with me and I know why. I met him in India he was my guide then we keep contact on Facebook and I know by the way he’s texting me that he’s playing games for the good reason which is he’s hoping I will go back to visit India so he can get the tips and I can give to charity like the first time. The first time I sent 2 large parcels , and he asked me if I could send some pants to him and a bag for his wife , I bought a second hand bag and the pants and I told him no more. After a while that he asked me for other things like sports shoes so I told him that it would be the last and not to ask me anymore. He send meaningless texts, textes me late at night and told me that he missed me. I told him “ ya, whatever “ I’m keeping him online because Iknow one day he will ask more , and my plan is to make him believe I will give him what he wants.. I will never send anything and see how he reacts to this, then I will tell him that I’ve been playing the way he has, meaning, I also didn’t get anything in exchange, it’s just one way help. Anyway he’s just an acquaintance to me and I will let him know.
They consistently want to know how you feel about them but are vague when it comes to their feelings about you OR, they make up or lie about their feelings towatds you yet their actions are not consistent with those alleged “feelings”. I see the later more often because it keeps you on the hook longer than if they weren’t willing to share any feelings or thoughts whatsoever.
ok u just saved me. I was doing all the right things. but I was just aboit to slip up and go down to his level. I'm not gonna do that. I'll be real up to the end. Thank you for that. I almost lost myself to these games... I hate games. I never like to play. Thank you
Don't give the man any married benefits, if you are not married. That will keep him interested but in the long run he will move on. Especially, when you are acting like a wife, and he doesn't have to work for you.
I've definitely been in this situation. Sometimes I try to think of myself as a mother and about how I would respond if my daughter told me that she was experiencing a similar situation. Usually my answer would be to leave the situation alone. This makes my position in the situation 5x clearer.
Because your convenient for whatever we are trying to do if its sex,money,gaining information to accomplish I hidden agenda. Most men are not ready for the long term commitment because we secretly don't know what we want later but we know what we want for the time time being. We don't understand the severity of playing with a women's heart we don't think that far ahead. So find a guy who wants something more out of life then the obvious.
Lucretia Sydnor Most men are not ready for long term commitment because they secretly don't know what they want? No, that's garbage. I'd say that most people don't know what they are doing when it comes to relationships because of dating, the whole challenge and game crap. And there are many men and women out there who don't play games and are very upfront and direct about how they feel and what they want. If you are continuously choosing people who play games, then that has to do with you not necessarily them. There are many men and women who have been at the hands of people who play games and are manipulative when it comes to "dating". And as for these men you are talking about, no they know what they want. They aren't looking to settle down just yet, the men you are referring to want sex. Casual sex is rampant in western society and women too are engaging in casual sex. It all goes back to a lack of sexual discipline and other underlying issues. low self esteem, low self worth etc.
‘I’m trying to cultivate other relationships right now’ this is perfect Perfect ! I have a ghoster who is basically not available but we’ve hooked up a lot. This line can end it easily and succinctly thanks 🙏
This video is great ! Really helped open my eyes and to end the situation I was in with this guy . Too many games , and in fact he told me that everyone's gets bored with him one day ... Not knowing I really did love him . lost the best thing he had by playing ridiculous games . Thanks for sharing and keep doing what you do !
unfuckingbelievable, sir you are right on point. i've just got out of this type of situation, it went on forever, but once i found the strenth to stop playing the game, she became absoloutley powerless. just like that old saying in boxing ( don't hook with a hooker ), her hooks were much stronger than mine. so i learned to stay outside and box like mayweather. thank god almighty for the strenth that he gave me, i am free from all of her emotional darkness. thank you jesus!!!
to be honest, i just became so exhausted that i just stop going along to get along. i just became honest to her and let her know how fake our relationship was. i wasn't mean or resentful, i just simply let her know about all of her lies, and the countergame that i was playing. just laid it all on the line, and asked her to be as honest as myself. though she continued to be in denial, and continued the game playing. i just stop going alone with all the lies, and the manipulation, and got to the point to not talk to her , nor return her calls until we can have an honest, mature relationship. so after a month or so, she finally moved on. but to be completely honest i was only able to do this , after i asked god for the strength. i feel wonderful now without all of that stress. god is good. i hope this fulfills your question :)
david banner ya I have told this person how I feel and he knows I don't like our way of communication yet he still repeats. I am tired of it and I really like him. I don't feel bothered to be honest again with him for the fourth time. My ignoring should show I don't want anything to do with him til he behaves proper ye? I thought blocking him would not be so great as we started out as friends and I would want to maintain that but its hard the way he is.
i know it's really tough when you have feelings for a person. i'll admit it took me awhile to do what i had to do, cause i'm only human. it's cool that you want to remain friends, so like you said blocking wouldn't be the best choice. maybe you can ignore this person, little by little, and if he still dosen't respond then, try don't respond to his way of communication, and or, what ever it is thats makes him happy in the relationship. either stop doing what makes him happy or comfortable altogether, or maybe you can take your time, doing so slowly. patience is very powerful, but' it very hard to be patient when there's feelings involved. just thinkof your well being, and the pain you may feel, and that should give you enough strength to cut off some of the attention that you give him. also everyone has a weakness, so he may not be as strong as he appears. so hopefully ingnoring him a bit more would defitnitly help your situation, and remember patient with yourself is very powerful :)
Oh.... My ..... Gosh....... This..... This was eye opening .... The game for me started in hs ... Has gone on for 5 years... We even got married and had a baby ....... I feel so enlightened....
OMG - thank you so much! I am hurting over realizing that I’ve been “played “ with this guy for over 2 years now. I gave him more of a chance, I think, because he has been a Fireman for decades- and I figured- he must have moral character and ethics. You are helping me. Thank you so much.
understand 110% i am going thru this now soon i told her how i really felt and i went 2 months with out telling her how i really feel for her and i told her i started to fall deep inlove with her and thats when this games and bs started
Chaz.....you’re very gifted Bro. You’re the perfect blend of street reality and general human nature tendency. I truly enjoy your analysis. Stay in the game and take it to the highest level God directs my brother.
You have described very well a narcissistic sociopath (look it up) called it a "player" which they are. It's very healthy to see both sides "the played and the player" how you describe them, our role in the cycle of abuse and what to do to stop. Thank you!!
I think out of all these dating advice videos, you have spoken the most sense. You’ve given me something to think about, and the ending put a smile on my face! Thank you 😊
Thanks for this Chazz. This was a great wake up call for me to get off the crazy train because I'm going through this at the moment. Very timely advice.
It's like you were totally witnessing my situation right now!!!!!!! You're soooo helpful!!!! It's so hard sometimes for a stubborn person to sometimes just back away instead of always trying to win! Thanks so much!!
I dated a guy who did the game playing & I was confused for a moment. So I went to him & just plain told him he wasn't ready for a real relationship & I'm not doing this because I don't have time for games. God bless you & enjoy your life. I have not looked back since & am happier that I did. I don't give 2nd chances so if he ever calls back, I will not even give him the time of day. Just too much! Thanks Chazz. I appreciate your advice videos. One day, I will ask my own question about the relationship I'm in now to see what you think about it. I am & have always been 100% straight up w/guys as you mentioned in one of your videos & they either talk for a little while to see if I'll stick to my word or never call back. And I truly don't care if they don't & I don't call them either. I would love to be in a real relationship leading to marriage as you said all women want, but I do have a life & happy in it & enjoy it when I'm in my down time, meaning when I'm not talking to anyone at that time. But your videos still help & I like listening to them. Thanks again.
This is exactly what I needed to hear inorder to confirm what I am doing now. I realized she is losing something which she is feeling I.e.the worthless mind games and that too since long. There is text after text this days with calls too. And I am doing what is needed to be done I.e. ignore much and try to move out of the situation as soon as possible. I question myself what was wrong going on in life,i found out the wrong happening and got a kind of confirmation here. Got to learn that it is her own insecurities which made her play that way. Thank you. New subscriber here.
askchazzellis Great advice Chazz! This is exactly how I'm feelin' and the resolution I made for myself for the situation I'm dealing with. Keep it real, move on, no time for BS. I actually like the guy and there was/is an attraction between us but he began playing games with humorous offenses & not following thru. I came across your videos last week. Plan to make a donation. Thanks!
Oh Man you speak so much truth, been with a woman who played these games, she cost me everything, marriage, kids, home and financial problems. what you said, I felt angry , frustrated and empty after every meeting. Have watched loads of vids , but wish i'd seen this a couple of years ago, I let this crap go on for 3 years. keep up the good work chazzellis. and thanks for making it seem all so clear now. RESPECT
I wish I can like this video a hundred time seriously.. I don’t play games with ppl, I hate it, I’m always transparent about my feelings & expect the same but not everyone is like me of course.. so you saying that most of the time it’s not even someone you liked in the beginning just thought they were ok etc is so true cause I be here like “ I didn’t even like you, you came to me etc, I didn’t even want to get to know you” so you’re absolutely right I’m chasing an answer & from now on, I am done & will go back to this video anytime I feel someone trying to play games with me
u touched my life and the biggest problem that has stressed me out. now ive made things clear the dogs beggin 4 me thankyou god bless and may these rotton players get it hard so they realise the value of love,loyalty and most of all patience x
Stumbled on your site, great info. I'm in the early stages of possibly a player & I nipped it in the bud. Now he's coming back around. Truefull conversation or nothing! Thanks for verification!
Wow you hit a point that made me think. You said that we chase someone we never intended to love initially just to find the answer of if they like us and then move on with our lives. I never thought of it that way, damn. That's kinda twisted! We don't even realize we are doing this when we chase. Very good insight.
9:55 He said that sh.t! I put up with it because the truth is "I never liked in the 1st place", that sh.t is sooooo true. Now, that I think about. 10:24 Yesss! Yesss! Yesss! I just wanted to be in relationship wasn't planning on getting serious at all, at that moment I just wanted to be in a relationship. Didn't matter who it was. Damn! He hit that dead on point! #SayThat That was my problem, I was trying to WIN! I wanted to make them hurt like I was hurting, wow! Boy! This nigga here!
LOVE IT Chazz! "You could chase the answer FOREVER!" Here's what I heard & have been implementing...."If your house is on fire, do you need to know why? Or just get the h*** outta there?" I wrote that in my FIRST NYT bestseller! YOU are featured in my book! TY SO MUCH FOR ALL YOU DO!! (AND thanks for saying "be real with yourself" again! haha It's my FAVORITE!!) LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS ONE! TY!!
ON POINT. "You're not chasing the person, you're chasing the answer." This is great.
Krystal B 💯💯
💯👹💃🏃🏃🏃💨🚶
I about lost my mind when he said this!!! That sums up the BS completely.
I could not agree more. They always keep you confused because of their confusement.
Yes exactly!!
hey . mike I just happened. To run across your message like 2 or 3 days ago listeners To you said to myself right on .I figured you were a black comedian
Out here on the web given it a whirl so I wanted to check you out man. Most the time. Black comedians are really funny and have a savvy of sliding real life into. Something funny and always with a white ribbing involved. It's genaric I guess .But. i really got into your insite look.thia guys cool .cpuple go by and get there's that dude gotta take listen I listened to 3 of your speak outs I just listened to this one .i think you are a really balanced. Hyman being. And envyyou
Some people do not know what they have until it's gone.
Genesis Real info Report. Sooo true
Some people don't know what they have...ever.
Exactly. He played himself cause I'm the one that got away! 💯
Chaz. I am a Psychotherapist and your assessment was brilliant and on point. I actually have been forwarding your link to some of my close female friends or former clients. Bravo my brother. God bless you. Keep of the good work.
You help me a lot with your advice. Im in the situation with this guy played my emotions. Now i will send him your wonderful message. God bless you always.
I SERIOUSLY DOUBT THAT A LEGITIMATE PSYCHOTHERAPIST WOULD SAY "BRAVO MY BROTHEER". THAT DOES NOT AT ALL SOUND THE WAY THAT TYPE OF PERSON WOULD TALK.
@@19.sciencetechnology30I am a counsellor and a psychotherapist and I talk all different kind of lingo/slang at times. it doesn't mean that I'm not professional
I rewatch this video just to remind myself to never make this same mistake again! thank you for your insight!!
Stop trying to win ! Once you start accepting they got the best of you and let them win , you will realize that you never wanted them in the first place ... It's the answers that you were after not the person...stop playing along and gain your power back😌 don't waste your time and energy on players 👌✊✌️
Hmm, very true. It is defiantly the answers people are after. Even when they love the person, still once games start its answers they are then searching for.
Yes, "you will realize that you never wanted them in the first place." I hear you loud and clear on that one. 👏👏👏
Yes,yes!!
Facts! 1000% Facts! If you took the time to step back and truly evaluate your desire to be with them, you will find out that the addiction was the chase not actual substance between you and he/she.
i cut them off very fast i dont have Time for bs
Zuleika Coffie Me too I don't have time to waste
Me too. The look on their face, to see that their game does not work on you, is priceless. Once I notice they playing games. I don't even tell them I'm not gonna play their game, I just act like we never was trying to get to know each other in the first place. They be like, I thought we were in a relationship. I be like, oh my bad I thought we were just chilling as friends, I never looked at you like that. I have my eyes on someone else right now. If it don't work out, I'll let you know and we can see what we can do later. Later never comes. They stuck in the friend zone.
They pay a lot to try and get your mind off the one they think you want. lol
Me too
Me too!
Sounds like a mix of insecurity and narcissism...
Darius Olfus. YEP! I think u nailed it. ( I realize this was a year ago but I had to comment)
dude, you got it!
facts
Exactly! Smells like a narc
TheSushiraw Truth; however, greater is He Who is n Christ followers (God Almighty) than he who is n the world (Satan & his cohorts).
This is so true. I just went straight no contact with a guy who started playing games. He's been calling and texting at least every other day ever since. Right now I don't even want to talk to him. Don't know if I will. Right now I feel if he wants to prove he's real he has to find another way to contact me because I'm not feeling it at this time. I do miss him but he started the game and I'm not playing it with him.
+luulips same here :(
Amen !
luulips stay strong!
Amén !
luulips im having that problem right now but idc i pay him no more attention
You have fully turned on the light switch on my brain. I'm the type of person that can get over shit quickly once I find the answer. This REALLY helped clarify certain things.
This is so true.... you just made me realise I’m not really in love with him I’m just caught up in the game, I’m caught up trying to achieve the unobtainable cause if I get him I think I’d actually freak out lol he’s not even my type... 🤔
Omg. So true. I don't even like this guy.
I just broke it off with this girl after seeing this video. I feel so much better now.
You’re not chasing them, you’re chasing the answer. Damn that hit me and it’s so true.
Mines a lil different. He confesses his love to me , how attractive he finds me, makes the plans, then bails. NEVER follows thru. I’ve been chasing the answer this whole time. I don’t even know if I like them because I don’t even know him that well. But I fell in love with the idea of him and the chase. I felt like there was a connection and he really liked me. But this shit needs to end. I have so much going on in my life and he has NOTHING. I think he is insecure and intimidated by me. A woman that has her own place, own style, determination and beauty.
Yes he is and wants to drain your energy
Dang this guy narrated exactly what happened to me months ago. Chasing answers and wanting to know why he did what he did. I saw it coming but ignored it. But now i have learned.He speaks the truth.
Either they are playing games or scared to tell you it's over! Be straightforward! Never string people along!
Yep!
oh why why why is this so accurate?! My first problem was that I didn't really even like him in the first place! go with ur first mind..trust ur intuition! it may save a lot of nonsense
Im thankful to stumble upon a video like this right now, everything stated is true, especially about the "chase", thanks!
Wow!!! I guess I am too honest and transparent. It's just not in me to "play games." I am always prepared to walk away! I prefer to use my universal energy to help others. Thanks Chaz!!
April Jackson just like me ;)
Right!!!
You forgot the low self esteem. When a person has low self esteem they will play games bc they don't feel up to par with what they think are your standards so they play with you.
True
Makes so much sense, but yet still we put ourselves through it. Weak people play games to control. It's all about them. Insecure!
WOW this is 100% right. You really get it. At first I thought you were talking about a general game playing.... but after hearing the whole thing I see you are describing a sociopath. This applies to friendships and relationships. And you are right about not being so interested in the first place (that's the intuition telling us to stay away) and later chasing answers and truth.
I'm in this situation now I feel so stupid.😩😩
Me too 😓
Me to right now I'm so stupid too x
same
We're not stupid. They are well-practiced liars and con artists. After Chaz' vids, we will be more prepared the next time.
Man you just explained the relationship I was in!! Thank you for Freeing me from that ghost!!! I'm grateful!
"It's usually somebody that you didn't like that much." AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH!! After that you wanna kick yaself😂😂😂😂
I. NEEDED. THIS... Thank you so much.. my head is finally clear after all this time. and i realized it when you said "when you get him, you gon dump him anyways" lmfao.... that's when it hit me. thanks so much again.
This is so powerful and so simple when you finally decide in your heart to "stop playing the game and stop trying to win". Any power that person has over you just dissipates and peace flows over you.
This video is so fitting and ironic. Just two weeks before this was made, I met someone who fit this damn description completely. If only I had seen this video on the date it was posted, I would have saved myself so much heartbreak. Dammit man! Oh well, we live and we learn.....
Isn't that how it goes, but at least you will be prepared in the future.
Omg 💯on all points I've been in that situation once your done your done and you just don't care anymore it's a freeing moment!
The best advice I can give for this problem and most problems when it comes to relationships is to intellectually think about the situation.
If you thought intellectually about the individual playing games from the get go and put your emotions in check, you would drop them in a heartbeat and never look back. There needs to be a balance in relationships, and one person putting in more effort than the other, confusion, miscommunication, etc all that needs to be resolved.
Love is a game everyone wants to play but nobody wants to end up losing. If you are serious about your relationship then no one wants to have a player in their life. Know your partner well before it's too late because it's hard to walk away after you feel attached to him.
You just dont sleep with them period. Once you even smell game your out. There are no second chances. Life is too short. If you busy yourself with upgrading your life you will realize there are not that attractive and in reality you will witness how really unstable they are in all areas of their life. It gets easier as you get older and wiser.
@5:53"They'll disappear and then pop back up." Too funny
It's difficult to find a guy who won't play games with you even how honest and loyal you are to him. You just have to give all your trust and it's up to him if he'll value that because there are no secrets that can be keep forever.
You have to stop fuel their energy so the games would stop .i told him you are the king of mixed signals and that my heart is not a playground so go play somewhere else
lol nyc one
I guess u only can see them for who they really are only when u wake up from the spell of love. and for some men: they're in love with idea that :( a woman is in love with them & can't get them) rather than: (in love with the woman herself) ; in other words, they are using women only to boost their self image and confidence.
1. You're amazing
2. I learned something. To avoid heartbreak you have to talk to the person - that's the only way!
Imagine somebody playing with you and at the end they aren't interested anymore while you're already deeply madly in love. Once you know what you're ON, how he sees you, you know what to do. Sure it might hurt a little(or a little more) but it sure will hurt a lot less then when you're in love and learn s/he doesn't love you back..
So to all the people out there, just breaking their asses over someone cause they don't know what they're on and they have mood swings because of that person(he seems cold,IM SAD..he seems interested IM HAPPY) listen YOU NEED TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON. Don't keep torturing yourself like that untill you've fallen for it, and then s/he may blow you off, now that's a real deal. Sure you can keep suspecting with love me not's, but you can and will be wrong, the only person that can tell you what's going on is the one you like/love. Grab some balls and do it, save yourself. Love can be dangerous.
Don't like playing games...I'm going to be me...you be you...don't have the time.
This has to be one of the best videos I have seen on relationships! Every single thing you said in this video is true! This happened to me over 6 months ago...and it ended because I finally realized how stupid I was being by trying to win a hopeless situation. I am literally in shock at how right you are! Keep posting videos like this, we need them! Love your work!
Thank you, I really appreciated that.
I agree, you nailed it ;)
Wow! You nailed it!!! Our intuition tells us when someone is playing games!! But the Chase is fun!! They Chase you in the beginning, then the games start slowly coming into play. Wtf? Thx for sharing your thoughts! Losers block the door so the blessings cannot enter!! Life is too short to waste time! Self worth is more important!
Smfh. The disappearing act... They know that shit ain't Right. Trying to make folks look all stupid and shit... Don't no damn body deserve all that foolishness.
I know, right!!! Gets me everytime
They like playing games because they know the don't deserve us they feel inferior but in fact they really like or have strong feelings for us. Quit the games they are not worthy at all...be assertive and just walk away. Agree with you man...thanks for confirming my understanding🖒🌷
Its time to write a book and get that shit published. Wow.. You hit alot of things right on the money.. Lol
I will man, I appreciate the feedback bro.
Boy, when u said "chasing ghosts" I felt like u was in the sanctuary & the whole church went "Wooooo" 👐😂😅
I don't want to play the game anymore...Thank you for ur words of wisdom
-_- ugh!!!! -_- I was going through this for almost a year, I wasn't even chasing them at all.
THIS IS ONE OF MY MANY FAVORITE VIDEOS.
I was laughing standing up clapping to this because he has said nothing but the truth and this is what I needed to hear. I pray God continues to bless you, Chav & to continue shedding the light to women & men alike.
Manipulation....stupidity....dishonesty.
its a waste of time just move on too much dramma
Many people reappear because they may really like you but they got issues. They need to solve them on thier own.
I'm currently in this situation right now. But I have a piece of my mind& told him that I'm done with him. At this point whether he calls, text, show up at my house or school I want absolutely nothing to do with him cuz I just buried the relationship. Thanks the video was def an eye opener! Now let me wipe my tears
I didn’t like the person. They per-sued me! For months just to get my attention and then played games.
Me too, actually this whole pandemic got me vulnerable and I let him in
Sounds just like an ex of mine who I suspect is a narcissist! They never give up!
This video explained to a TEE the situation that I found myself in and the foolery lasted over a year. The part where you talked not really wanting the person, but wanting to “win” the situation, really resonated with me. This video also helped me acknowledge that I wasn’t a victim in that situation as much as participant and see that the individual started from a place insecurity. I wish I would’ve seen this two months ago, but it has provided me with clarity to continue to move on. When he comes back, I’m just going to let him know up front. Thanks for this video! 🙏🏾🙏🏾
True! That's how you turn the tables. Leave them alone and do you. It gives me pleasure to implement the no contact rule on a ninja real quick.
LENA PATEL Real quick.
gosh, that last example hit home...I was trying to play that game with someone I really didn't like...ugh..thank you for breaking it down: )
You talk so much sense!! This is EXACTLY what I'm going through. I can't believe how much you've opened my eyes to this kind of relationship. Wow, wow and wow!
How to Deal with Game Playing Master Class
101. Devalue a players: When someone plays games they generally do it so that they can get attention and gain the upper hand in the relationship. Most people don't really care if this is negative or positive attention as long as they feel that they still have the same or greater value because to their actions. Showing a person that is playing games that they have lost value is a great way to let them see that what they are doing is negatively affecting them so that they will stop.
102. Ignoring: We often spend a lot of our time paying attention to things that make us unhappy, instead of focusing on the things that make us smile. When someone is playing games, they are generally trying to get the attention that they probably didn't get it their previous relationships. Ignoring them can show them that this does not work with you and that they will need to try another method.
103. Rewarding good behavior: We often want people to behave a certain way but often take it for granted when they do. A lot of people have been taken for granted in the past and this is why they choose to play games in the first place. Rewarding good behavior shows that once they act the way that you want them to, they will get the positive affirmation that they may not have received in previous relationships.
Save 15% on the How to Deal with Game Playing Master Class with Coupon Code: stopthegames
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askchazzellis great videos and just on time...but I am curious, do players know good what they are doing or it’s just in their blood?
There’s a man who is playing game with me and I know why. I met him in India he was my guide then we keep contact on Facebook and I know by the way he’s texting me that he’s playing games for the good reason which is he’s hoping I will go back to visit India so he can get the tips and I can give to charity like the first time. The first time I sent 2 large parcels , and he asked me if I could send some pants to him and a bag for his wife ,
I bought a second hand bag and the pants and I told him no more.
After a while that he asked me for other things like sports shoes so I told him that it would be the last and not to ask me anymore.
He send meaningless texts, textes me late at night and told me that he missed me.
I told him “ ya, whatever “
I’m keeping him online because Iknow one day he will ask more , and my plan is to make him believe I will give him what he wants..
I will never send anything and see how he reacts to this, then I will tell him that I’ve been playing the way he has, meaning, I also didn’t get anything in exchange, it’s just one way help.
Anyway he’s just an acquaintance to me and I will let him know.
Brah these people lowkey scary. Some of them points sounded like psychopaths
They consistently want to know how you feel about them but are vague when it comes to their feelings about you OR, they make up or lie about their feelings towatds you yet their actions are not consistent with those alleged “feelings”. I see the later more often because it keeps you on the hook longer than if they weren’t willing to share any feelings or thoughts whatsoever.
ok u just saved me. I was doing all the right things. but I was just aboit to slip up and go down to his level. I'm not gonna do that. I'll be real up to the end. Thank you for that. I almost lost myself to these games... I hate games. I never like to play. Thank you
you are talking about a Narcissists
Don't give the man any married benefits, if you are not married.
That will keep him interested but in the long run he will move on.
Especially, when you are acting like a wife, and he doesn't have to work for you.
I've definitely been in this situation. Sometimes I try to think of myself as a mother and about how I would respond if my daughter told me that she was experiencing a similar situation. Usually my answer would be to leave the situation alone. This makes my position in the situation 5x clearer.
Omggg I do this all the time!!
Why do they waste both of our time and play games in the first place?
i always ask myself the same question... i'm not even sure if they know it themselves..
Exactly!
Because your convenient for whatever we are trying to do if its sex,money,gaining information to accomplish I hidden agenda. Most men are not ready for the long term commitment because we secretly don't know what we want later but we know what we want for the time time being. We don't understand the severity of playing with a women's heart we don't think that far ahead. So find a guy who wants something more out of life then the obvious.
Lucretia Sydnor
Most men are not ready for long term commitment because they secretly don't know what they want? No, that's garbage. I'd say that most people don't know what they are doing when it comes to relationships because of dating, the whole challenge and game crap.
And there are many men and women out there who don't play games and are very upfront and direct about how they feel and what they want. If you are continuously choosing people who play games, then that has to do with you not necessarily them.
There are many men and women who have been at the hands of people who play games and are manipulative when it comes to "dating". And as for these men you are talking about, no they know what they want. They aren't looking to settle down just yet, the men you are referring to want sex. Casual sex is rampant in western society and women too are engaging in casual sex. It all goes back to a lack of sexual discipline and other underlying issues. low self esteem, low self worth etc.
IWantMyVisionBack yes!
‘I’m trying to cultivate other relationships right now’ this is perfect Perfect ! I have a ghoster who is basically not available but we’ve hooked up a lot. This line can end it easily and succinctly thanks 🙏
this has been the most ON POINT video, EVER!!! I experienced this and will now put your wonderful advice into practice.
"Realize that you're not really interested in them and you are only interested in winning." Yup. That right there. 100. *claps*
This video is great ! Really helped open my eyes and to end the situation I was in with this guy . Too many games , and in fact he told me that everyone's gets bored with him one day ... Not knowing I really did love him . lost the best thing he had by playing ridiculous games . Thanks for sharing and keep doing what you do !
I encountered these types of guys it's hilarious because I'm like " damn why didn't I see this video back then"
unfuckingbelievable, sir you are right on point. i've just got out of this type of situation, it went on forever, but once i found the strenth to stop playing the game, she became absoloutley powerless. just like that old saying in boxing ( don't hook with a hooker ), her hooks were much stronger than mine. so i learned to stay outside and box like mayweather. thank god almighty for the strenth that he gave me, i am free from all of her emotional darkness. thank you jesus!!!
david banner What did you do to stop the games?
to be honest, i just became so exhausted that i just stop going along to get along. i just became honest to her and let her know how fake our relationship was. i wasn't mean or resentful, i just simply let her know about all of her lies, and the countergame that i was playing. just laid it all on the line, and asked her to be as honest as myself. though she continued to be in denial, and continued the game playing. i just stop going alone with all the lies, and the manipulation, and got to the point to not talk to her , nor return her calls until we can have an honest, mature relationship. so after a month or so, she finally moved on. but to be completely honest i was only able to do this , after i asked god for the strength. i feel wonderful now without all of that stress. god is good. i hope this fulfills your question :)
david banner ya I have told this person how I feel and he knows I don't like our way of communication yet he still repeats. I am tired of it and I really like him. I don't feel bothered to be honest again with him for the fourth time. My ignoring should show I don't want anything to do with him til he behaves proper ye? I thought blocking him would not be so great as we started out as friends and I would want to maintain that but its hard the way he is.
i know it's really tough when you have feelings for a person. i'll admit it took me awhile to do what i had to do, cause i'm only human. it's cool that you want to remain friends, so like you said blocking wouldn't be the best choice. maybe you can ignore this person, little by little, and if he still dosen't respond then, try don't respond to his way of communication, and or, what ever it is thats makes him happy in the relationship. either stop doing what makes him happy or comfortable altogether, or maybe you can take your time, doing so slowly. patience is very powerful, but' it very hard to be patient when there's feelings involved. just thinkof your well being, and the pain you may feel, and that should give you enough strength to cut off some of the attention that you give him. also everyone has a weakness, so he may not be as strong as he appears. so hopefully ingnoring him a bit more would defitnitly help your situation, and remember patient with yourself is very powerful :)
Incredibly hilarious!!! But very truthful. Thanks everyone for this excellent information and advice!!
Oh.... My ..... Gosh....... This..... This was eye opening .... The game for me started in hs ... Has gone on for 5 years... We even got married and had a baby ....... I feel so enlightened....
Wow you nailed it.! So in depth and revealing I am speechless. You my Brother get the trophy. Stop chasing the explanation simple as that...
OMG - thank you so much! I am hurting over realizing that I’ve been “played “ with this guy for over 2 years now. I gave him more of a chance, I think, because he has been a Fireman for decades- and I figured- he must have moral character and ethics. You are helping me. Thank you so much.
understand 110% i am going thru this now soon i told her how i really felt and i went 2 months with out telling her how i really feel for her and i told her i started to fall deep inlove with her and thats when this games and bs started
Jason Ore happened that way for me too. once they know u care....mask starts slipping😡
Chaz.....you’re very gifted Bro. You’re the perfect blend of street reality and general human nature tendency. I truly enjoy your analysis. Stay in the game and take it to the highest level God directs my brother.
"You won, okay bye." -- Love it
You have described very well a narcissistic sociopath (look it up) called it a "player" which they are. It's very healthy to see both sides "the played and the player" how you describe them, our role in the cycle of abuse and what to do to stop. Thank you!!
so true, you chasing a answer especially if you have a personality thats curious
I think out of all these dating advice videos, you have spoken the most sense. You’ve given me something to think about, and the ending put a smile on my face! Thank you 😊
These people are like 3.14 ( pi ) you will keep calculating forever! I would let this just go.
Nice Analogy!!!!
Thanks for this Chazz. This was a great wake up call for me to get off the crazy train because I'm going through this at the moment. Very timely advice.
Man I got played. She does all of those things. I can't believe I was chasing for 2 months.
really great insight, I've been going through this for 6 months and was suspecting he was playing me and emotionally unavailable
It's like you were totally witnessing my situation right now!!!!!!! You're soooo helpful!!!! It's so hard sometimes for a stubborn person to sometimes just back away instead of always trying to win! Thanks so much!!
I dated a guy who did the game playing & I was confused for a moment. So I went to him & just plain told him he wasn't ready for a real relationship & I'm not doing this because I don't have time for games. God bless you & enjoy your life. I have not looked back since & am happier that I did. I don't give 2nd chances so if he ever calls back, I will not even give him the time of day. Just too much! Thanks Chazz. I appreciate your advice videos. One day, I will ask my own question about the relationship I'm in now to see what you think about it. I am & have always been 100% straight up w/guys as you mentioned in one of your videos & they either talk for a little while to see if I'll stick to my word or never call back. And I truly don't care if they don't & I don't call them either. I would love to be in a real relationship leading to marriage as you said all women want, but I do have a life & happy in it & enjoy it when I'm in my down time, meaning when I'm not talking to anyone at that time. But your videos still help & I like listening to them. Thanks again.
I screamed soo hard at my screen 😂😂😂 like you was here. Yasss
Thank you for aiding me to cut all the bs out my life. keep up the good work💯
You are very intelligent and your heart is pure! 💙
Hands down by far the best show🙌🙌✨✨🖐🖐👏💫
Or they don't want to fully commit
Exaaaaaactly. So many of these are
by-products of someone just not knowing what they want yet
This is exactly what I needed to hear inorder to confirm what I am doing now. I realized she is losing something which she is feeling I.e.the worthless mind games and that too since long. There is text after text this days with calls too. And I am doing what is needed to be done I.e. ignore much and try to move out of the situation as soon as possible. I question myself what was wrong going on in life,i found out the wrong happening and got a kind of confirmation here. Got to learn that it is her own insecurities which made her play that way. Thank you. New subscriber here.
Dead on!!! So glad I stopped playing the game (7 months) of valuable time gone.
Thank you and thanks for sharing a little of your story.
askchazzellis Great advice Chazz! This is exactly how I'm feelin' and the resolution I made for myself for the situation I'm dealing with. Keep it real, move on, no time for BS. I actually like the guy and there was/is an attraction between us but he began playing games with humorous offenses & not following thru.
I came across your videos last week. Plan to make a donation. Thanks!
+askchazzellis Man you are very enlightened
try 2 and a half years. i lost that game horribly but im glad i watched this video and got put ON game ;)
+Areyana Akasuna Try 20 off and on. wasting my time
Oh Man you speak so much truth, been with a woman who played these games, she cost me everything, marriage, kids, home and financial problems. what you said, I felt angry , frustrated and empty after every meeting. Have watched loads of vids , but wish i'd seen this a couple of years ago, I let this crap go on for 3 years. keep up the good work chazzellis. and thanks for making it seem all so clear now. RESPECT
Damn you really on point with this one here! Sheesh 😂 it’s always the ones you didn’t even like like that . That ends up playing you🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
I wish I can like this video a hundred time seriously.. I don’t play games with ppl, I hate it, I’m always transparent about my feelings & expect the same but not everyone is like me of course.. so you saying that most of the time it’s not even someone you liked in the beginning just thought they were ok etc is so true cause I be here like “ I didn’t even like you, you came to me etc, I didn’t even want to get to know you” so you’re absolutely right I’m chasing an answer & from now on, I am done & will go back to this video anytime I feel someone trying to play games with me
u touched my life and the biggest problem that has stressed me out. now ive made things clear the dogs beggin 4 me thankyou god bless and may these rotton players get it hard so they realise the value of love,loyalty and most of all patience x
so true💗 I go blank and answer no questions ever for jerks... its so fun to see them unravel!!!
Stumbled on your site, great info. I'm in the early stages of possibly a player & I nipped it in the bud. Now he's coming back around. Truefull conversation or nothing! Thanks for verification!
My nigga you set me free every time I watch one of your videos. Thank you.
Me too
Wow. This is by far the best dating advice video I have seen on UA-cam! Thanks!!! ❤️
Wow you hit a point that made me think. You said that we chase someone we never intended to love initially just to find the answer of if they like us and then move on with our lives. I never thought of it that way, damn. That's kinda twisted! We don't even realize we are doing this when we chase. Very good insight.
9:55 He said that sh.t! I put up with it because the truth is "I never liked in the 1st place", that sh.t is sooooo true. Now, that I think about. 10:24 Yesss! Yesss! Yesss! I just wanted to be in relationship wasn't planning on getting serious at all, at that moment I just wanted to be in a relationship. Didn't matter who it was. Damn! He hit that dead on point! #SayThat That was my problem, I was trying to WIN! I wanted to make them hurt like I was hurting, wow! Boy! This nigga here!
LOVE IT Chazz! "You could chase the answer FOREVER!" Here's what I heard & have been implementing...."If your house is on fire, do you need to know why? Or just get the h*** outta there?" I wrote that in my FIRST NYT bestseller! YOU are featured in my book! TY SO MUCH FOR ALL YOU DO!! (AND thanks for saying "be real with yourself" again! haha It's my FAVORITE!!) LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS ONE! TY!!