6 Rules for a First Date - Over 50
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- Опубліковано 5 гру 2019
- Need some basic guidelines or rules to help guide you on a first date? If you're new to dating and over 50 this episode was made for you. Not that these rules don't apply to most daters but if you're back on the dating scene after a hiatus this refresher should be pretty helpful. I hope these dating tips inspire you to leave some of your own in my comment section!
#coffeewithcarey # dating #over50
Did you see my episode on flirting tips?
• How To Flirt After 50!
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Rule #1: DONT DO IT…stay home and find something else to do. Being alone is OK, you’ll probably be better off.
glad you have found what works for you, Glenn. But we can’t be telling other people what is right for them. To each their own.
Yeah, yeah, stay home…that makes it more of a target rich environment for us 🤣
No way man! Maybe try to double date; that’ll dilute the intensity of it being a date and no one “loses”, but really, I have to say, if dating was a paid profession, I’d love my job.
some people want to be alone. I want a spouse I'm a woman who wants to spend my life with another
@CoffeewithCarey you're sitting here talking about rules, so aren't you telling people what to do and/or not to do? Everyone has opinions and Glenn voiced their opinion. My opinion is get a dog for companionship and a hooker for company. Much easier, cheaper and less judgemental.
Wierd sitting arrangement idea. I'd hate it. Across the table is easiest. No cracked necks.
Just a suggestion ... for the women. I went on a first date yesterday, lunch with a very nice lady. However, this went just like most of my previous first dates ... I had to carry the conversation from start to finish. Fortunately, I'm innately curious so asking a variety of open-ended questions comes pretty easily. Some serious, some funny, anything but the "interview" mode. It always seems to be that way. I get it. Women need to be careful and discreet. But damn, ladies, I know you're looking for that magical "chemistry" ... but does it always have to be the guy to be the alchemist and apothecary?
if you’re seeing a pattern to your dating life that is sometimes a sign that it’s something you’re doing. do you know what it is? If not, you might want to think about working with a dating coach. That’s what we do.
We're not all like that, hon. Good luck to you.
It's not you fella, it's just women's psychology, you're clearly far higher value than you recognise.
@@MrFrobbo Higher value? 🤮
We’re talking about humans dating and relating here. We don’t talk about human connection in the context of someone’s ‘value’. Please don’t bring that language or mentality from the sad corners day of the Internet over to my channel. Thanks! 👍
@@CoffeewithCarey we should live in the real world, everyone has market value, dating is a competition, those who dont compete will never find a partner and its cats and wine, or gaming consoles for them. Dont be delusional, understand evolutionary biology to succeed
She mistakenly said two drink minimum when she should’ve said two drink maximum
all the time.
Told my last date she had to pay for all my drinks until she looked like her profile pics
I agree with all these rules. I'd only add that I don't meet anyone in bars as I'm over 20 years sober and much prefer my life now. And the 30-day rule? Absolutely, especially for the many of us with childhood traumas including neglect, various forms of abuse, drug addiction, etc. Fast sex usually leaves us bonding too fast, or running away too fast.
different attachment styles attach it to different speeds. and just a note that drinking alcohol is not required just because a bar is available. Some people who are sober cert much enjoy the ambience and vibe for romance in a lounge/ club.
I realize the alcohol is an option; but most people choose that option, and most people don't stop at one. Two or more, and the quality of conversation circles the drain. I don't avoid bars because I'd be tempted to drink; I avoid excruciating boredom from the quality of "connection."@@CoffeewithCarey
In my early 40s. I found this very helpful, clear and common sense.
I tend to spend most the first date or two trying to listen more. In the past I have over shared and gotten too emotionally invested too soon. Now I intentionally pay more attention to reading btwn the lines and whether they ask me questions about myself or seem very curious about me (big tell if they are emotionally available). I do try to be playful and keep it light though. But no physical contact (except maybe touching on the arm, hug) on first date or so. My focus is whether this person is compatibility and do I actually like them as a person, a friend. Definitely no sex as long as possible, ideally a couple months, and not until we are exclusively committed, there’s a strong level of trust. On occasion that’s been slightly challenging if there’s a lot of chemistry;) but inevitably I tend to be drawn to brooding types so I make sure to exercise self control ❤ equals self respect and better opportunities for the real deal.
This is pretty impressive! You seem to have learned a lot about yourself and what you want and need. Good for you! 🤎
Thank you for making a thoughtful video on dating. If I'm lucky enough to find a date, the advice in this video will be of great value.
I’m so glad you found it helpful, Roger. And I have faith that if you are interested in dating, you will find someone worth getting to know!
Yep, 30 days minimum. I've learned that things that feel too familiar and move too fast are a warning sign. Mama said, You can't hurry love.
It’s a game of give-and-take!
I thought these tips were excellent, especially about sitting adjacent to a date instead of across the table -- makes a big difference as to whether you can casually touch their hand when making a point in conversation.
Exacatactly! ;)
Great suggestions and thoughts. Thank you, W.
Thank YOU! 🤎👍
Excellent rules and suggestions 👍
Thanks, Patti!
Did you catch this episode from earlier this week?
Should You Kiss on a First Date? ua-cam.com/video/hrFxDAZshzE/v-deo.html
I try to always sit at a 90 degree angle on a date. It's perfect!
I try to do this at all times, Donna, but I fail 70% of the time. 😏
This is such good advice. Had never thought of it.
No sex for thirty days and the guy says, “Great, I’ll call you in thirty days.”
Oh Anne, Lol do be sure to let us know where you’ll be doing your next stand up performance! ;-)
@@CoffeewithCarey Hi Carey, it has been said to me twice. While I didn’t insist on the rule, I did say I’d like to get to know a person a little better first. Women presume we will have several dates with that person within 30 days but men don’t.
Anybody can ask for what they want. But it takes two to tango as they say and if he’s gone before you’re ready well good riddance.
Waiting 30 days for it is called dating, waiting 90 days is called marriage☺️.
@@sxwrtr918👍
Big help thanks, this Friday is first date in 50 years, if question pops up and it easily could I'm just getting back in the dating pool- testing the waters will sound a whole lot better than I haven't dated since high school
“Testing the waters” sounds like you’re looking for something very very casual and if that’s the case all good. but if you are looking for a relationship leave out the “testing” part.
Great input. Thanks.
Glad it was helpful!
Very informative, I love your suggestions, going to be 71 next month, physically fit and active. Have subscribed and will be a big fan of your UTube videos in future, thanks 😊
Thanks for saying hello. So glad you found the channel. Welcome! 💖👍
If a woman said to me that I need to call her for a second date because she doesn’t reply to texts, and that she doesn’t want to leave the house before 10am so when I plan our second date it must be lunch or dinner…. there would be no second date.
Don’t be imposing rules on a 50+ year old man after one date, believe me he will not take well to that
I think it’s more about how one
states these things. Really she just shared with you her preferred communication style (not texting) and that she is not a morning person. But most would not state them as RULES.
So did she really say that you “need to” or “must”?
Many people appreciate knowing that they are not getting a text back within five minutes or maybe five hours from a non-texter who doesn’t even keep their cell phone nearby. And that a night owl, like me, is probably not even awake at 10:30.
Do as you like with that information. 👍
Lots of good information
Thank you!
Ive been told im not s full fledged adult when i said i didnt want to get intimate. He was very critical and tried to belittle my standards
Well, thankfully you avoided one very manipulative human in the dating world. Good for you on knowing your boundaries! 🤎
Thanks for your advice Carey! I'm in my 40s and will date a woman in her mid 50s next week, so I thought why not watch some of your videos ;) Hope my date goes well, we had good chemistry over the phone.
Fingers crossed! Also, a quick reminder… If you are on the fence about chemistry after that, first date… Then you go on a second date!
@@CoffeewithCarey Thanks for your feedback Carey!
You should be dating women 5 to 10 years younger, make that change
@@MrFrobbo The date didn't go well anyway;) Now I'm dating a woman a little younger.
Carey, you have a new follower in me!👍
I like your honest, unique approach to doing these videos versus that of most all female dating coaches. The seating arrangement you discussed is awesome, I had never thought of that. Yet you are correct, one can more discreetly show these small signs of affection. Not to mention, not every one can reach across the table for this.🤣
And too many dates have people screaming at each other from across the table in a venue that is louder than expected.
I hope you don’t mind my asking but always looking for ways to improve my communication. What is it that you find you are not connecting with the other female dating coaches that is making you feel I am speaking your language? Just my very straightforward, common sense vibe or something else?
Yes a good idea to share a corner rather than opposites.
@@CoffeewithCarey I don't know about Charles above, but I'll answer why I like your video. You got straight into the topic without 10 minutes of wandering, you spoke about practical situations, you don't assume one type of relationship is what everyone wants, and you are still answering people directly a long time after a video is put out. Great job Carey! My situation is very unusual and yet you spoke to concerns that I would have as well. Thanks!
@@CoffeewithCarey Age makes hearing spoken words harder to discern in and environment with significant din in the background. You my have great hearing until there is background noise, it is an annoyance for many of us. So avoid louder places for fist date.
@@x-man5056 I certainly wouldn’t go back to a place where I felt it’s very loud and echoey. Finding places that are comfortable to you, and knowing where you will go back when you have the next opportunity is important. If hearing is a problem in more places than not I would make an appointment for a hearing test. ♥️👍
I never thought about the seating thing. Great idea!
You’re welcome, Tim. ;)
We have the Covid situation though.. How can you be near without being too near 😷?
Fantastic videos and advice 👍
Glad you’re finding them interesting and/or helpful, Cathy.
@@CoffeewithCarey That Meetup I find particularly interesting
And remember if you don’t see anything that seems intriguing to you, you can always start your own!
That depends!!!
If I have recently just met a woman, I don't ask for an evening date. I prefer a lunch date. FOR THEM. Meeting a strange man is henke enough for many mature women, I prefer to make it easier for them to say yes, daytime to ease the anxiety some and offer to meet them there, rather than insist on picking them up (I do offer though). I don't drink but don't mind if she drinks responsibly, so I choose a place that serves for lunch. I try to set the date for 1pm so if she wants a drink (before or after), it's not a problem. Your admonition to be judicious in your drinking is spot on.
I think 2 hours is about right. Leaving the date when it's going well is much preferred. I like the sitting next to each other vs opposed also. Specifically to establish modest "touch" sometime during the date. If the 1st date goes well, I want to hold her hand on the way out. Braking the touch barrier before hand, makes it feel more natural.
Men are cautioned to listen more than talk also. I think what you really should do is work toward an engaging conversation and not keep close track, but do a mental check occasionally to make sure you aren't dominating the conversation. If I'm filtering, I need her to talk. It's always error for man or woman to "ramble on" on a 1st date. (see alcohol admonition).
I avoid interview questions and just start a conversation. Generating a smile or chuckle occasionally during the interchange helps take away the anxiety also.
Seems like you’ve got a plan. I would not meet for a lunch date if someone asked because I don’t do lunch. But it seems to be working for you.
@@CoffeewithCarey If I inferred I demand it, you got the wrong idea. I do it as sort of making it easier for her to say yes.
For you, a twilight dinner cruise on Lake Tahoe. Hmm,... something in between for 1st date maybe? Chili's anyway?
Seriously, don't mean to mess with you, but I'm adventurous, not remotely locked into lunch but it is generally easier to sell for first date. I don't do Online dating so cold approach or possibly circumstantial meetings, it's a small thing to maybe help get the yes.
You didn't say why you "don't do lunch" and I don't want to ask, but you aren't vampire are you?
@@x-man5056 intermittent fasting. I don’t eat until three or 4 PM.
And I think afternoon dates are the antithesis to Romance. Women should know how to get themselves to, and protect themselves on a public date that starts at 7 PM! Unless you’re taking them to some swanky back Alley, Lady and the tramp style. Lol.
@@x-man5056😂
All sensible suggestions 😊
👵🏼👍🏻
Thank you
Thank you right back, Taylor! Thanks for saying hey.
My 6 tips for dating
1 take a good bath and use deoderant
2 brush your teeth if you have some, if not use mouth wash
3 don't get into somebody's bubble
4 listen Very carefully to what is being said
5 Do not hop in the Sack until they have a SDT test and until you get married
6 go into this relationship with your brain ingaged and Both Eyes Wide Open and if you get married keep your eyes Half Shut.
I think you’re ready to create your own channel!
@@CoffeewithCarey 😘
Anyone who needs to be told to bathe and brush their teeth before a date has bigger issues to deal with.
@@georgeedward1226 Hahaha ya that's true but if you see the amount of failed relationships of all kinds it may be as you said they have bigger problems.
Love that last caveat👍. For men AND women.
Cool thanks
you’re welcome, joe!
Carey, you talked about "rules" and "boundaries". Personally, I would rather use the word "guidelines". There is little else that would put me off more, than having someone telling me (however nicely) about their "rules", even if they don't actually convey that word. Your 30 day rule, for example. Well, if you're both up for it, then go ahead and share that bed! If one of the 2 people would rather wait, well that's ok too. Relax! It is quite possible, in fact, to miss out on wonderful experiences by being be rigid with "rules".
I am pretty sure I was clear about there being no rules.
You are hereby authorized to use the term Guidelines as you see fit, particularly in your own UA-cam videos.
Really helpful, thank you!
Thank YOU! 🤎👍
Sitting across the table is much better for a first date. In that case you can observe better, and he cannot be too touchy with you.
We can agree to disagree.
@@CoffeewithCarey Sure
“Rules” sound too confining; I’d prefer a title of “Guiding Principles”, e.g., “hang on loosely, but don’t let go”. You never know…lightening could strike. It did for me when I thought I would just date for a “friends w/be benefits” mode, but I met my unicorn, and it’s been over a monthlong blissful relationship w/o sex even thought we’ve slept together. She’s the one, and I’ll do or not do anything that could wreck it.
Good song! ;)
If a woman I know and like gives me a call to do something either right now or tomorrow, I will likely accept, providing I don't have better plans. I'f be foolish not to.
🤔What constitutes -and what made you feel you needed to insert the word “better” before the word “plans”?
Interesting. I am 70. Great shape, easy on eyes. Happy demeanor, successful. In my years. I have found that women go after what they want. Even now.
“Women go after what they want”. I would say that is 100% accurate.
Men go after what they want. obviously.
Why would anyone go after what they do NOT want? 🤷🏻♀️
Seating area is a good one
🙏
Oh dear, my first date actually went on for 4 hours. We spent 3 hours in the restaurant and another hour in an adjacent coffeeshop....
that works. 🤎
@@CoffeewithCarey she lives in a city about 330 km away from me and we met on Facebook. So to see her, I drove all the way to her city the day before, put up in a hotel and met her later that night for dinner. As I had to return home the following day, we wanted to spend as much time with one another in a single night. Every second counted....
@@brandenburg2388 So how is this long-distance relationship going to work out? Is that what you were looking for?
Honestly, I’m just happy it wasn’t a scam; most people i speak to who met someone on Facebook have ended up losing money. 🤎👍
@@CoffeewithCarey it's amazing that this lady matches almost all my requirements and vice-versa. She is single, no kids, same faith/education level/language, living with her aged mother and retired (both of us are in our mid-50s). Her mom is her only family member still living with her in this country. Despite being limited to chatting everyday on Whatsapp, our relationship has become closer since we first met on FB over a month ago. I have engaged a professional matchmaker agency to look for a partner but so far the 2 ladies they introduced to me did not generate as much positive vibes as this lady.
@@brandenburg2388 well that’s lovely. good luck with getting to know her even better.
ps. if you’ve worked with a matchmaker and not had great luck, make sure that you keep watch here for something i’m excited really excited about! 🤫
Coffee date every time! Maybe at a garden centre cafe.
And how is that working out for you? Is coffee leading to romance 60% of the time?
@@CoffeewithCarey I'm different to most other guys you would know. Been openly polyamorous for years (and ethically married long term) I'm not new to dating, and generally look for a relationship. I don't keep stats, but I would say many women love to meet in a garden centre cafe on a pleasant afternoon. Wouldn't you? 🙂
@@davebroad642 Sure! Who doesn’t love coffee!!
But more importantly in this context they are looking for a partner in love, and coffee dates are not conducive to creating romantic relationships! 🤷🏻♀️
I am 63 , and SO WISH that I saw this video 13 years ago !
SPOT ON ! It wasn’t
“ slanted “ against men or pro -
any gender .
Very well worded and concise .
Peace ☮️
Thank you! 🙏
@@CoffeewithCarey
Your welcome 🙏
These are good rules for people of any age. I'm a big fan of the luncheon first date, in a very cheerful, yet public place. As for sex, I think 3rd or 4th date would be the earliest and that probably would take about a month to get to, so yeah. Thirty-day trial sounds good.
my only thought is that “cheerful” is not very sexy, so if cheerful dates don’t end up leading to something romantic, you may want to revisit that. 🤎👍
Nice thought when you are 25, but at this age he is looking to see what he will get in the future. He likely got little sex from his ex, and with your sex drive in the basement post-menopause, he is not going to put his neck in the noose unless he is assured of getting it.
Don't be a Debbie Downer. Keep the conversation light and positive. First dates are not the time to worry about society's problems. Be a social justice warrior another time.
yup!
if there are going to be social issues that are a dealbreaker, you should know about these ahead of time and definitely before traveling across town - just to pick a fight
I always sit at a 120 degree angle toward my date. Women always call me obtuse. My friend who sits at a 45 degree angle toward his dates? The women say he is a cute date.
Bwahaha. And neither of you sitting at a beautiful 90° angle! 🤦🏻♀️
I never knew the seating situation my problem is I can't find anyone that doesn't drink alcohol :(
There are more and more of us all the time, I have found. 💖👍
I’d say about 30% of the people I screen every week drink don’t drink alcohol- or rarely, just on special occasions.
I agree. I don’t drink at all and most men drink too much! A turn off to me
Having sex too quickly is a mistake for me. If that’s what the guy is into he can move on
Everybody is entitled to their own boundaries and time table. You do what works best for you! 👍
If you feel raw attraction you will know and 30 days will lose you the high value male, you have more competition than you believe and are not special.
Nice thought when you are 25, but at this age he is looking to see what he will get in the future. He likely got little sex from his ex, and with your sex drive in the basement post-menopause, he is not going to put his neck in the noose unless he is assured of getting it.
Wow, I'm really interested in dating someone who not only thinks, but needs to remind me that I'm not special. @@MrFrobbo
Over 50 women don’t even like sexy anymore, bad hips and if a guy is lucky he might get it once a month
I still hope I find love again, since my wife pass away have not been able to find love again, so sad in here .
I feel it is important to create a very full life for yourself without a partner first. Filled with joy, hope, loved ones, friends and good times. Then you will be the attractive partner women hope to find.
@@CoffeewithCarey I just hope I find someone, have been down for the past 7years now.
No use hoping. Instead get out there and make sure you have a coffee date or a glass of wine with a new stranger every week!
@@CoffeewithCarey okay thanks I will, but can we be friends ? And can we talk more on a better platform. Please?
I consider all of my followers and subscribers friends and we keep in touch, share and interact regularly here in my comment section. You can also reach me on my coffeewithcarey G Instagram.
Any suggestions for a man 80 years old, with mobility problems, using a walker and a cane. One woman said I am not going to look after an invalid . I have it on my dating site that I am mobility comprised. They agree to a first meeting and maybe one more,then rejection. Also ,unfortunately very few women on dating sites over 70 years old. Any helpful suggestions appreciated.
Hi Russell, nice to meet you here. I would suggest meeting women in person. If they see you mobile and accept a date then you know you have something worth pursuing.
Maybe the women you are meeting with just photographs aren’t actually picturing the challenge it would be getting around with you. You keep on trucking my friend, But I think you should maybe take a class of some kind: current events or music/movie appreciation. Check your park district and local community college maybe?
They are checking if you have money
They just wanted a free meal….
I never make rules for dating... take each step like I was still young...I date a lot now after a long marriage ended. Though I find women now are getting way too opinionated. I'm a handsome cardiologist so I can be very picky.. Younger girls tend not to be that way they just are out for fun......all the serious stuff comes later I believe. You wnt to show people that you are open minded and receptive to different ideas and views.
too opinionated, hmmm i see …
Yep, first red flag, 2nd red flag. "Cardiologist, so I can be picky" Sound like a narc.
@@evegurney8368 Your parents wished you had the drive and brains to be one. Sorry you lose your dick sizing competition pal.
Wondering if there are also rules for a last date...🙂
be kind. 🤎👍
Now on first dates I met her my first time at singles group square dance my asking her then she asked me our first real date I say it depends on who does it should not matter age difference well yes no years different. Mucho yes interest likes dislikes yes or distance miles depends fifty maybe myself Remember you can not always have everything ideal to you liking wants desires
lots of truth here. ☺️
Your over 50 and still worrying about rules. The #1 Rule should be to just enjoy yourself and forget about trying to meet other people's expectations.
Who said anybody was worrying?
There is No rules Lady.
You be you
I'll be me.
sounds like somebody didn’t watch the episode.
Carey is addressing women here. I cannot imagine that any man would think in such a rigid and detailed way about anything, let alone dating. Just do what is comfortable for both of you.
It seems from the comments that both men and women have benefited from the conversation.
I don’t drink or smoke so ugh...
I have an episode that I think is called “dating without drinking.”
I’m like that also!! We’ll live longer!!
Rule #1: Don't make rules and lists just go with whatever the flow is.
If you’re having great dating success, then, by all means!
Carey, what did your husband think of these rules?
Who cares what my husband thought? Probably much more pertinent as to what the thousands of people I have matched and coached, in the last decade have thought!
I love how she just assumes a first date is going to consist of two people sitting down at a table or bar. Where's the imagination? Hiking, anyone? Bowling? (She's in Chicago, after all!) Square or contra dancing? Bike ride, or horseback riding? (Well, that last one is a little more eclectic.)
she assumes no such thing, jim. seems you haven’t watched many of my episodes. 🤷🏻♀️
@@CoffeewithCarey
I haven't, Carey, this was my first. And from what I just heard, it absolutely came across to this viewer that you assume that _very_ thing.
2 drink maximum not minimum lol
I know. I do that all the time! ☺️
Do you want to go out? Hahahaha
Rule #1. Avoid women at all costs.
lame
My rules for dating just don't it's not worth it
Whatever floats your boat, I say.
And you’re the one watching Rules for a First Date”. Were you hoping I was going to agree with you and that would be my video?
Thanks for being here today…One rule folks...Don’t. Just don’t. Thanks for stopping by.
I actually do have a video like that. I think it’s my diet tips or secret skin care advice
I just ran across this on my recommendation page . Your advice seems reasonable but from my point of view with everything going on now as a male even flirting now is dangerous
I disagree. Flirting is fine; abusing a position of power is not fine.It’s really common sense, being empathetic and self aware.
@@CoffeewithCarey it has always been my policy to never date someone that you work with . As for flirting there is too much room for misinterpretation
Never be pushy, or controlling!! You’ve just met! Never think it’s ok to be touchy feely at all! Just be nice!!
I don't agree with any of these rules for my particular situation. This video seems to be aimed at people who don't know each other well at all. I suppose most first dates are like that, but I am completely over dating complete strangers.
I wonder if you have advice for people who have known each other for years and are beginning to become more social with each other. Maybe UA-cam is the wrong place to look for answers.
What’s the concern, challenge or question? Sounds like things are progressing and going well.
@@CoffeewithCarey,
This lady I have known for over 10 years has gotten a divorce last year. She asked me out to lunch. We had lunch and excellent conversation. I gave her a potted mum. It was really nice.
My concern is that I am in uncharted territory. I was her landscaper. We always got along well and talked. Now she is giving me hugs and inviting me for purely social purposes. We are both about 50 now. She is in a higher income range than me.
Any advice? I do really enjoy being around her. I don't want to move in or have sex soon or even talk about it yet. I was just looking for advice on how to properly treat a lady.
You treat her with respect, the same way you would want to be treated or you would want somebody to treat your sister or mother, you take things very slowly, and you communicate honestly. And don’t forget to share with her that you are really enjoying her company and getting to know her.
@@CoffeewithCarey,
Thank You Carey. I will do that.
@@alexanderlapp5048how did that work out?
They put wheels on luggage so take some wheels for the baggage.
Tomorrow’s episode is all about baggage! Check it out.
@CoffeewithCarey I've given up on dating because older women want a HallMark movie relationship and that's not reality.
no one is chasing 61 year old widowers......
date? Wendys it is!
Except 55-70 year old widows.
As much as I love a good frosty, I’m gonna recommend you take a walk somewhere beautiful instead.
@@CoffeewithCarey yeah, well, there are no dates on the horizon, so i'll come back to this advice when needed. could always take a hike on my 15 acres of woods.
Guys, play hard to get; do not touch her for the first date OR second date. ask her open-ended questions "do you have a preference about????" 3rd date (first date was the first meeting, so it doesn't count) absolutely know what her favorite color is - bring flowers in a modest arrangement in her favorite color(s)- nothing cheap or expensive. Get it from a REAL FLOWER SHOP. Not the grocery store thingey. 90 day rule - remember EVERYTHING she writes or speaks - if you catch her in a lie - FLEE. (yes, men lie too so same advice). Read a chapter together of Proverbs or Psalms after both agree to the "rules' (on the 3rd or 4th date). And , yes these tactics drive good women nuts. That's the point
Interesting method you have there, Stuart. So after 90 days you no longer have to remember what she says? 🤔
@@CoffeewithCarey That's right; the current gen of unattached women (of the past 25 years) are largely self destructive and dysfunctional....or of low value. A self-aware, disciplined, high-value, virtuous woman stands far above the 90 day rule. Men, learn, live and practice Psalms Chapter 1 24/7. Makes a huge difference with the weaker vessel (I Peter 3:7) . Men honor their woman ; women respect their man. 24/7 (Ephesians 5:1-21)
@@CoffeewithCarey Lastly, as a general rule avoid(at all costs) the toxic American culture -- it has been ridiculed for decades. Living overseas in SA (Bogota, Colombia) or CR (Costa Rica central valley suburbs of San Jose) for a few years can confirm the discipline, value and awareness of which I speak. The interpersonal skills common in those cultures are in sharp contrast to the 'toxic culture' pervasive in large urban areas in the USA of the past decade or more. Gratitude, consideration of others, modesty are de rigueur in cultures of Europe, SA and CR for the most part. In CR, yelling, profanity, nudity, violence just r not going to be seen most anywhere in the suburbs of San Jose [yes culture is breaking down almost everywhere lately]. Modesty, calm, respectful attitudes r pervasive and enforced. Luv it! Any Gary Smalley (r.i.p) books are required reading! :)
Um..Maybe not. Don't go to bars. Who do you meet when you go to bars? People who go to bars. First date; go to a museum on a sunday morning. Now you know your dates interests Then go for coffee; not Starbucks but someplace that brews good coffee.. If things go well, offer brunch. Oh. I didn't mention that I am a 75 year old white male who last married a widowed, very accomplished professional woman 2 years junior. We set terms and made bargains. We lived apart but spent nights together for two years before "settling terms" of the marriage. Think long;work hard; bee incredibly patient and be prepared to share all of the inevitable issues of aging. best wishes
Sometimes you meet people who work at the bar, or stop at the bar after work, sell to the bar, or are artists performing at the bar/club/lounge/pub. So go to bars if you want to! I met a husband -and some really great people while in bars. And I don’t drink.
I’m glad you found what works for you, but am reminding you that you are not everyone. 🤎👍
I think this was a great comment, i've never met a woman in a bar and I never will, because I don't go there.
I never went to college tho my senorita amigo did most of as I repeat was learned from school k to grade 12then ten weeks of photo schoolsome I learned just waking up each day doing things without trying to learn all slow easy seeing things reading trying things just being with amigos using I pad nursing home activities games in my travels I donot have bad attitudes well some do are nasty volks repeat using I pad what I have seen learned about life who wears what see fashions love relations dating wants failures automobiles plus plenty mucho more even ways to need mucho less dinero enjoy life more health care excercise videos some learned without trying enjoy your day adios
reading and attitude count!
2nd location is one night stand
Or the first night of a very beautiful romance that lasts forever. Never can tell…
Rule #1. Ask if she is a liberal Democrat. If yes, run like hell.
I’ll give you a Headstart…
What makes you think it's OK to be touching someone you hardly know, without permission
Likely because that was never a thing before. If your question is sincere.
@@CoffeewithCarey its been a thing my whole life. Sincere? Do I have an incentive to make this up? How about keep your hands to yourself without permission?
I meant if you really wanted an answer to the question. I was not questioning you honesty! 💖
@@CoffeewithCarey I also wanted to ask that. I would hate it if someone try to touch me on a first date (unless some out of ordinary chemistry goes in the air :)hahaha )
Only one rule: Don’t do it!!
to each their own.
Also am I the only one that thinks you should have sex kinda soon? Because what if you don’t match sexually? I just had this happen to me, waited too long to have sex and the sex was absolutely terrible so I had to let her go based on that.
That’s unfortunate. But there are no rules. That depends on two people and when they are both ready.
It’s not waiting too long if that’s when one of the people was ready. Also, like first dates when people are not always their best and nerves can affect how they come across, it’s not always great the first time…
Not at all. If you waited but enjoyed the company, you had a good company, what is wrong with that?
#1 Women are not cars. What about a movie and then dinner at Cracker Barrel?
hmmm, but how do you get to know somebody during a movie when you’re sitting next to each other staring at the screen for two hours?
You can all buy flower and dinners as much as you want, me, I am tired of being a payday for women to free load off, they better match what I offer, and be equal in bills on the first few dates, she better match her photos, not over weight, not on depressants, etc, once a woman proves she is deserving, I have no problem with flowers or dinners, until then, I will continue happily going out with 35 to 45 year olds, and I am 60, but look around 52, and I hear that often.
Before you ask, I offer two homes, a good job, pensions, passport, I am a British Citizen living and working in California. I am not a prude, something I find women here are, my hygiene is impeccable, once again something that's lacking here too, I am witty, Sarcastic, forward thinking, and not afraid to speak the truth, and that often offends a lot these days.
I know what my gender is, its MALE, and I do not need pronouns, and once I see any communication with a Pronouns its deleted, do I get offended, no, but I see lot here do, haha
Apart from all that, this is an interesting sight :)
i wasn’t going to ask.
Site, not sight, unless you are saying you like her looks. It sort of sounds as if you have a bit of a chip on your shoulder. Yes, online dating is really challenging. I’ve been doing it for many years more than I care to even say, and I have been disappointed in 1000 different ways., But coming at it the way that you are, seems as if you’re leaving no room for someone to meet your expectations.😢
@@SuperDflower it really is all about the energy that you are projecting. You get back what you project. No doubt. But you can’t change people. Even as a coach it’s challenging to help someone clearly see how they’re self sabotaging. 😕
@@SuperDflower You might benefit from taking a look at the Merriam-Webster dictionarys definition of sight. You might learn something.
@@ghost46857 I don’t wish you any ill sir, and not going to get into any sort of tiff online.
Why would I date someone over 50?
I’m so sorry! Did you stumble in here accidentally? You’re at the wrong UA-cam channel. 🤦🏻♀️
No worries. There is the door! 🚪
Take good care and good luck… 👋
For me a lady with several male friends us a red flag. Ive seen even a ladys good friends husband calling her up and carrying on. I think t this is crazy. But the lady saidvnothing wrong with it. Well ended up being problem. She was very attractive. Men just do not want a talk buddy. They end up going to to a place that anyone with common sense see coming. I dumped her because she was ignorant of this. It would have caused probkem after problem
Honestly, that sounds like a self-confidence issue to me, Dave. I feel badly that you missed out on a woman you found attractive and interesting, because you didn’t like sharing her attention with her friends.
I don’t think anybody should have to give up their friends, just because they now have a partner.
Men and women can certainly be just friends. In fact, if my best friend sees this comment of mine on your comment he will be his usual outrageous self and say something wild. Just watch.
I think what you are seeing as “common sense is just you projecting onto other people. For many of us, this is no problem having friends of all genders. 🤷🏻♀️
ua-cam.com/video/tE0W0D4KXRM/v-deo.htmlsi=VVS0rHgBACo9sD7C
It’s easy, be yourself, or you’re a fake.
ua-cam.com/video/MGG-maELXVk/v-deo.htmlsi=esaqi7D5fnXZpoSP
30 days is ridiculous, what do you know about someone in 30 days, people can hide who they are for 6 months, any guy that was willing to commit to being exclusive after 30 days is not someone I would be interested, way too desperate for me. You have no idea where this guys bits have been. No thanks.
it’s not a hard and fast rule for every human. You can override it, and do you. By all means!👍
I think it was meant a 'minimum" not 'maximum' 30 days
Taking dating advice from a divorced feminist will produce the results you’d expect. Modern American women expect the world without bringing ANYTHING to the table. The man is the prize.
You're definitely a prize. THE. BOOBY PRIZE. ! Illiterate, bitter misogynist!
Shall we raffle him off gals?
Do I hear one used tea bag ?
Sounds too calculated for me. First date is simply coffee or a walk in the park. The conversation should flow naturally if both are comfortable. At over 50, sex isnt something a woman should lead with as the best days are behind her and heaven forbid she is still going through menopause with the hot flashes, dryness, etc.. Indeed its why i dont date women over 40....
Speak for yourself. Lol
First rule for a man over the age of 50. Don’t go on a date in the first place
lame
@@CoffeewithCarey nope sensible if he wants to keep a healthy bank account. Besides wom3n have ruined dating it’s all me me me me me
@@honeybadger6313 that’s a pretty sweeping generalization you’re making there, buddy. there are selfish people of all genders. maybe try meeting MORE women! 🤦🏻♀️
@honeybadger6313 I feel very sorry for you, obviously you aren't meeting the right women
Never ask a fish how to catch fish
That’s ridiculous. Fish can’t talk.
If you are worried about rules then you are already on shaky ground.
What’s your point? Do you go looking for different points of view, conversations, and advice about things in which you are already an expert?
How about just be honest with yourself first be clear with your expectations be firm what you want and know your standarts values morals don't play mind games don't lie flirting is not good quality be friendly there is fine line been flirty or friendly
men have feeling too they ar visual and can sence way more deeper than some women be natural genuine otherwise you will act phony shallow and superficial desperate needy clingy insecure
I’m all for being genuine! And friendly.
Flirting does not have to be fake or in-genuine. It’s been around for centuries, and is not a bad thing. Its both a natural and learned behavior.
It’s a shame that God gets ignored in the whole scheme of things. Praying to God should be the first protocol to even know if you are called to be in a relationship and then striving to keep holy either way. What does it matter to gain the whole world and lose your soul?
Thanks for sharing your opinion. But obviously there are many of us who would never be praying for “keeping holy”. We’re just living our lives and trying to be good to actual people.
I disagree!! Not everyone is religious so don’t push that!! I’d walk out if you brought up God to me!! It’s a very personal thing and not to be pushed on someone else!!
I would leave right away
Same!
Not everyone is religious !!! That's offensive to some people.
Start talking religion to me and it's 'I got to go' for me.
Like you want religion to be a thing, other people equally don't.
Respect everyone's choice, everyone's different.
Sex… definitely sex… or never see them again 😂
🤦🏻♀️
hahaha goodbye
Thirty days...yeah, right🤣!
On average, men reported waiting about five dates, and women reported a preference of waiting closer to nine dates. Overall the average was about eight dates.
47.9 percent of people in a relationships waited a few weeks.
Of those sexually active, a slight majority (51 percent) said they waited a few weeks before having sex, while just over one-third (38 percent) had sex either on the first date or within the first couple of weeks.
yeah right. multiple studies show 3 to 5 weeks is the average.
@@CoffeewithCarey
Interesting breakdown of statistics, anyway. I suspect a percentage of these people are lying (as they often do on surveys and the like). Either that, or I must have lived in some parallel universe where time is compressed when I was younger🤔.
@@sxwrtr918 I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t know how old you are or what you think would be a normal amount of time to date someone prior to becoming intimate. I think we can agree that everybody’s unique and every relationship is different, so whatever two people decide is fine by us.
@@CoffeewithCarey
Im joking about the parallel universe and compressed time to simply say that these things sure seemed to move a whole lot faster when I was running around.
And yes, everyone is different, of course.
@@sxwrtr918 the key words in the sentence are: "when I was younger"
I suppose I COULD date a woman over 50 plus but it would be so tough. Her, "how much do you have, how much? How much? How much? I'm running out of time and need to travel, so how much you got? How Much???????????????????? Just be honest! How much?
Maybe date professional women, conscientious planners, or just fiscally responsible women who have made plans for their own future. I talk to dozens of them every week; you just need one or two a week.
For men the best advice is to not go on the date.
you do you, Mr., but that’s definitely not helpful advice for the men I know.
This video is bad advice. If a woman started laying down all these ground rules... I'd look at that as being the tip of the iceberg. No Thanks!
You think just women have rules? 😧
@@CoffeewithCarey If a woman talked to me on a 1st date like how you suggested in this video, there would be no 2nd date. That was very bad advice.
@@stephen5147 🤣🤦🏻♀️
@@CoffeewithCarey Yeah, for the most part.
Women over 50 are not looking for a life partner or soulmate they are looking for a retirement plan!
1. Make sure guy is rich
2. Make sure guy is in shape and handsome
3. Make sure the man will follow all of your boss babe orders
4. Make sure the man has zero red flags, if you don’t like that he owns a dog then pass girl or God forbid he goes fishing!
5. Make sure he has a retirement plan and puts you in his will after first month.
Remember ladies, you are the prize and a man has to be perfect for you to even consider him
As a matchmaker that has not been my experience at all. 🤦🏻♀️
What a sad sack
I've got my own home ,pension,cabin on a river with FISH ,my own dog my own investments,books,antiques,interests, Cant stand controlling, hard done by men.
Remember women reach their sexual peak in their forties. Men - it's all down hill after age 21.
I thank God everyday that I’m in a great marriage. I’ll soon be 52 and I can’t imagine playing the games and remembering all the “rules “. what I have figured out. If you’re perpetually single it’s probably something within you, it’s in your way of thinking and how you treat people. Narcissistic personalities run rampant in a lot of these women
If you’re single, there’s probably something wrong with you and you’re a narcissist. Nice try. 🤦🏻♀️😆
@@CoffeewithCarey yep you proved it with your comment and your inability to even consider the fact that it could be you . I’m happily married and have been for almost 20 years. I don’t think I need a single woman telling me how narcissistic I am, I’m sure my wife and children would probably disagree with you. Have a great day .
If you are in a great marriage why you are here?
@@shasha5614 wtf does me being on UA-cam have to do with being happily married?