Although a great video and valid points, today's dating can be very complex. I've had girls touch me on the arm, have great conversation, and the girl not at all out of my league from a physical standpoint. After the date, you get one word replies to texts 4 hours later. Before the date we'd be texting long paragraphs and them seemed very enthused to chat. I think women have so many options it's hard for them to pinpoint who they want. The body language tips you gave are great. Subconsciously women do that stuff when they aren't into you.
idk about the options bit (never heard that from even my most attractive female friends... they usually feel there's no good options?), but my female friends usually report that *after* they have more time to reflect on a conversation they start realizing that there's something they dislike, is a dealbreaker, or now see as a red flag. Or their friends nix the match based on that information (I am guilty of influencing them to do this, sorry!).
Thank you. And just for clarification purposes, this episode was meant to be coeducational. I am not differentiating between the experiences of men or women. I am well aware -this goes both ways! Thats why it is definitely not an opportunity to rip on all women in general because of one or two individual experiences. 🤎
Marcus. Why didn't you just ask her in a friendly way...we are all just people...dating should be fun...meeting someone new and enjoying some time together and then, who knows...
Could she just have been busy 4 hrs after a date? But Id definitely ask. I had a really good tine with you today, and by your body language I thought you did too. Id like to see you again and want to know if you feel the same way. If she stops talking then she is immature and prefers to walk away from something that makes her feel negative feelings. But hopefully shed be honest.
isn’t that interesting when somebody else breaks it down for you and you’re like “yup I’ve had that… and that… and that happen… wow maybe this is a pattern!“. I always enjoy that kind of perspective. 👍
I had a six hour first date . Went really well . Has a kiss , couldn’t stop talking together . He said he would see me the next day . Next morning he says he’s actually too busy as going on holiday the next day ( which I knew ) , then he goes all silent and says we then don’t have chemistry . WTF ? Personally I think it’s because we had a brief discussion on our exes .
I’m sorry, Lucy, but you broke a lot of my first date rules there. :) just know that in the end, it doesn’t really matter, because if you’ve been here a while you understand that not everybody’s going to like you. In the same way that you don’t like everyone you go on a first date with either. The six hours was not a positive. As a Matchmaker, I can assure you you had your second date on your first date, and that he was then able to make his decision on whether he wanted to spend more time getting to know you. I can hear that you’re a little disappointed and for that I’m sorry. 😕
I had a date with a gentleman just yesterday. He looked older than his pic and he even told me he needed to update them. We has a coffee and a walk. We spent 3 hrs talking nicely, no weird talking or anything too sexual, just a normal conversation for a first date. We had many things in common: family values, political views, politeness etc. there were things i didnt love but they weren’t deal breakers. Im always open to a second date. It’s really hard to have an idea of the real chemistry only on the first date; unless there’s something really bad. We ended talking for 3 hrs. I say bye. Was a lovely night. Thanks. Hug. Blah blah. He never txt to check on me or say it was nice to meet you but well it was ok. Then this morning i saw he blocked me on the dating app. 😂😂😂😂 I know I dodge a bullet. He must have a bunch or red flags. But the one about not even have the education to tell me s”orry but i dont think we’re a good match, wish you well.” Just like a regular person with minimum manners. Terrible dates
I know you weren’t too invested so you don’t really care all that much but I wouldn’t assume he had a lot of red flags. I would just assume that you were not the gal for him… And that’s okay. I really think it’s best that we be honest about these things with ourselves. We’re not for everybody. This way, we don’t take things so seriously when they don’t work out early on.
See, I was raised to be polite, so even if I don't like a date I am engaged and acting like I'm having a good time even if I'm not. I'm not sure how to mitigate this because it ends up hurting people because they think it's going well and then I tell them I don't feel the same way.
If someone likes you and you don’t feel romantic that’s not your problem. There is zero chance you are going to feel a romantic connection with everyone you date. If they don’t realize that then send them over to my channel. Lol Better yet send them my coffee mug! coffee-with-carey.myspreadshop.com/not+everyone+is+going+to+like+me-A63efe36099b27e5882a42c61?productType=31&sellable=Qzx9GOM3k3fAl8JQJ1gQ-31-32&appearance=1
If they know! And if they know, it’s lovely for them to let you know! If you know, it’s lovely for you to let them know! And then there are some people who need to think about it without the attraction piece present or ponder whether this is a person they could see as a parent to their future children, etc. TETO (to each their own.) 🤎
#12: correct me if I’m wrong, but how about , if you’re walking outdoors and the other person walks way ahead of you, I mean, until you say, “wait up”. That happened to me Saturday afternoon; we’ll see if the guy phones again. Would be interesting to hear other women’s experiences.
do you think your date checking their phone while you’re in the bathroom is a better indication of their interest in you or their ability to sit alone with their thoughts for 3 mins? kinda the day in age we live in
I believe it is the latter… and an excellent point, albeit a little sad. But maybe they are texting their friend about how excited they are to have met such a fabulous guy! 💙🤎
requests. i’m guessing that you mean matchmaking. People are typically looking for somebody very emo local. I even dissuade people from trying to match in a place where they know they are moving -until they get to that new location. Long distance relationships are just too challenging. 🤷🏻♀️ Living in Rome! Aren’t you fortunate! 🤎
If you're within 30-45 minutes of the date and see one (or more) of these signs, I would probably just call it off right away. I find it very disrespectful and a waste of my time. I might say something like "It's clear to me that we aren't connecting, so rather than spending any more time together I think it's best if I leave." What do you think of that, Carey? Is there a more tactful way to say it (even though I think I'd be miffed by the disrespect).
Not connecting romantically is not an excuse to be rude. I believe that if you can’t find some common ground to have a lovely conversation and learn about someone you’ve never met before, for an hour or two, one might have bigger problems than just being single. That’s my take on it since you asked.
I've watched several of your videos, and you give really good information. I'm wondering, though, why in the world you would match people without them seeing photos of each other? Looks are very important for men. Having your date find you attractive is important for women. Why put a woman through a date with a man who makes a face immediately? That's cruel. And although women are more likely to trade down in looks (i.e. date someone less attractive) in order to have a man with good character, there is a limit. No one wants to go out with someone they find ugly or repulsive. Show them the pics!
Looks are very important to everyone. For clarification. The ones who have or can develop chemistry on a first date see each other again and if there is no chemistry, (I feel like you haven’t watched other videos to hear me explain the reason for not going on a second date. You’ll have to find that on your own. I’ve mentioned it a dozen times!) they move on to their next match. I have a 70 to 80% success rate for second dates. But also these people take my advice, recognizing that chemistry can develop over a few subsequent dates as you get to know somebody better. And that’s why some of them are now married to their matches. What i can tell you is that these are people who are sick of dating on their own and truly want to find a partner. They are open minded. They are not clinging tightly to a list of shallow must-haves, they are openhearted, and they are looking to succeed in love. It works. Not changing it. Do you wanna pick somebody for the way they look go on Tinder, bumble yada yada. How’s that working for ya?
@@CoffeewithCarey in FB there's one feature that for dating ... it's like tinder but under FB, so I knew her from there. Long story short we met on the weekend 2 weeks ago & went for a movie. It's Deadpool & Wolverine. We watch the movie during noon & since both of us got things to do so we don't have much time to have a conversation. I have messaged her to have a 2nd date & she said yes. So, I'm planning to tell her about the cancer I have somewhere in the future ... if she accepts to have a serious relationship with me
From my experience the mans height (under or over 6 foot) jaw angle (narrow or wide) neck to head ratio and body fat percentage is more important than anything you can do or say to get a second date. Then that changes as time goes on and what you do and say becomes as important to keep her interested in pursuing a relationship.
Those are nice, sure. Good looks attract attention. Nobody’s arguing that. but if the guy is boring,unkind to anyone; or self-involved, uninterested, has different beliefs - it’s probably all over.
the question is why would you want a second date with someone like this? I would be asking myself if i wasnted a second date, not if they wanted one. Wrong emphasis.
Only once was I turned down for a second date. But she married me twenty years later. People do change their minds!
hahahha. good story!
😲
legend
Love the bloopers/out takes - especially "in your abs sense"
I like sharing them because they make me laugh! Glad you enjoyed
I really liked this video , now I know after all these years why I was ghosted and never got that call back after a date….
The more we date the better we get at dating… and better at reading the signs both positive and negative. 🤎
Id try to think of the date and look for the other signs too. I dislike that people cant be honest.
Although a great video and valid points, today's dating can be very complex. I've had girls touch me on the arm, have great conversation, and the girl not at all out of my league from a physical standpoint. After the date, you get one word replies to texts 4 hours later. Before the date we'd be texting long paragraphs and them seemed very enthused to chat. I think women have so many options it's hard for them to pinpoint who they want. The body language tips you gave are great. Subconsciously women do that stuff when they aren't into you.
idk about the options bit (never heard that from even my most attractive female friends... they usually feel there's no good options?), but my female friends usually report that *after* they have more time to reflect on a conversation they start realizing that there's something they dislike, is a dealbreaker, or now see as a red flag. Or their friends nix the match based on that information (I am guilty of influencing them to do this, sorry!).
Thank you. And just for clarification purposes, this episode was meant to be coeducational. I am not differentiating between the experiences of men or women. I am well aware -this goes both ways!
Thats why it is definitely not an opportunity to rip on all women in general because of one or two individual experiences. 🤎
Marcus. Why didn't you just ask her in a friendly way...we are all just people...dating should be fun...meeting someone new and enjoying some time together and then, who knows...
Could she just have been busy 4 hrs after a date? But Id definitely ask. I had a really good tine with you today, and by your body language I thought you did too. Id like to see you again and want to know if you feel the same way. If she stops talking then she is immature and prefers to walk away from something that makes her feel negative feelings. But hopefully shed be honest.
If she orders a second drink on the first date, prepare to be ghosted.
That’s a new one for me.
@@edwardolkowski4018 how? Why?
Always do FaceTime first to save you time / and also to check that they look as per their pics
That’s what I always say!
I've experienced all this on dates 🙈 Great video Carey! Have a nice weekend! ☀️☕️
isn’t that interesting when somebody else breaks it down for you and you’re like “yup I’ve had that… and that… and that happen… wow maybe this is a pattern!“. I always enjoy that kind of perspective. 👍
I had a six hour first date . Went really well . Has a kiss , couldn’t stop talking together . He said he would see me the next day . Next morning he says he’s actually too busy as going on holiday the next day ( which I knew ) , then he goes all silent and says we then don’t have chemistry . WTF ? Personally I think it’s because we had a brief discussion on our exes .
I’m sorry, Lucy, but you broke a lot of my first date rules there. :) just know that in the end, it doesn’t really matter, because if you’ve been here a while you understand that not everybody’s going to like you. In the same way that you don’t like everyone you go on a first date with either.
The six hours was not a positive. As a Matchmaker, I can assure you you had your second date on your first date, and that he was then able to make his decision on whether he wanted to spend more time getting to know you. I can hear that you’re a little disappointed and for that I’m sorry. 😕
I had a date with a gentleman just yesterday. He looked older than his pic and he even told me he needed to update them. We has a coffee and a walk. We spent 3 hrs talking nicely, no weird talking or anything too sexual, just a normal conversation for a first date. We had many things in common: family values, political views, politeness etc. there were things i didnt love but they weren’t deal breakers. Im always open to a second date. It’s really hard to have an idea of the real chemistry only on the first date; unless there’s something really bad. We ended talking for 3 hrs. I say bye. Was a lovely night. Thanks. Hug. Blah blah. He never txt to check on me or say it was nice to meet you but well it was ok. Then this morning i saw he blocked me on the dating app. 😂😂😂😂 I know I dodge a bullet. He must have a bunch or red flags. But the one about not even have the education to tell me s”orry but i dont think we’re a good match, wish you well.” Just like a regular person with minimum manners. Terrible dates
I know you weren’t too invested so you don’t really care all that much
but I wouldn’t assume he had a lot of red flags. I would just assume that you were not the gal for him… And that’s okay. I really think it’s best that we be honest about these things with ourselves. We’re not for everybody. This way, we don’t take things so seriously when they don’t work out early on.
See, I was raised to be polite, so even if I don't like a date I am engaged and acting like I'm having a good time even if I'm not. I'm not sure how to mitigate this because it ends up hurting people because they think it's going well and then I tell them I don't feel the same way.
If someone likes you and you don’t feel romantic that’s not your problem. There is zero chance you are going to feel a romantic connection with everyone you date. If they don’t realize that then send them over to my channel. Lol Better yet send them my coffee mug!
coffee-with-carey.myspreadshop.com/not+everyone+is+going+to+like+me-A63efe36099b27e5882a42c61?productType=31&sellable=Qzx9GOM3k3fAl8JQJ1gQ-31-32&appearance=1
Interesting topic . Id say if someone wants a second date , they make it clear on the first date.
If they know! And if they know, it’s lovely for them to let you know! If you know, it’s lovely for you to let them know! And then there are some people who need to think about it without the attraction piece present or ponder whether this is a person they could see as a parent to their future children, etc. TETO (to each their own.) 🤎
This is crazy. People, before meeting someone and wasting each other's time, do a video meet. The end.
i too am a big fan of a brief virtual date, but these things can still happen even after meeting on a video call! nothin like meeting in person!
#12: correct me if I’m wrong, but how about , if you’re walking outdoors and the other person walks way ahead of you, I mean, until you say, “wait up”.
That happened to me Saturday afternoon; we’ll see if the guy phones again.
Would be interesting to hear other women’s experiences.
How would the conversation continue if you’re not within earshot?
do you think your date checking their phone while you’re in the bathroom is a better indication of their interest in you or their ability to sit alone with their thoughts for 3 mins? kinda the day in age we live in
I believe it is the latter… and an excellent point, albeit a little sad.
But maybe they are texting their friend about how excited they are to have met such a fabulous guy! 💙🤎
Do you ever get requests for someone abroad? I’m American but live in Rome, Italy.
requests. i’m guessing that you mean matchmaking. People are typically looking for somebody very emo local. I even dissuade people from trying to match in a place where they know they are moving -until they get to that new location. Long distance relationships are just too challenging. 🤷🏻♀️
Living in Rome! Aren’t you fortunate! 🤎
Hii are you single I like you 😊
New Title: "10 Ways to Blow the First Date"
I’ll take it!!
Titling is not my strong suit. If you have any other fantastic suggestions, let me know!
If you're within 30-45 minutes of the date and see one (or more) of these signs, I would probably just call it off right away. I find it very disrespectful and a waste of my time. I might say something like "It's clear to me that we aren't connecting, so rather than spending any more time together I think it's best if I leave." What do you think of that, Carey? Is there a more tactful way to say it (even though I think I'd be miffed by the disrespect).
Not connecting romantically is not an excuse to be rude. I believe that if you can’t find some common ground to have a lovely conversation and learn about someone you’ve never met before, for an hour or two, one might have bigger problems than just being single. That’s my take on it since you asked.
Dating is like an exam could you give me a competition
No exams yet, but your homework is to talk to three strangers every time you leave your house.
I've watched several of your videos, and you give really good information. I'm wondering, though, why in the world you would match people without them seeing photos of each other? Looks are very important for men. Having your date find you attractive is important for women. Why put a woman through a date with a man who makes a face immediately? That's cruel. And although women are more likely to trade down in looks (i.e. date someone less attractive) in order to have a man with good character, there is a limit. No one wants to go out with someone they find ugly or repulsive. Show them the pics!
Looks are very important to everyone. For clarification.
The ones who have or can develop chemistry on a first date see each other again and if there is no chemistry, (I feel like you haven’t watched other videos to hear me explain the reason for not going on a second date. You’ll have to find that on your own. I’ve mentioned it a dozen times!) they move on to their next match.
I have a 70 to 80% success rate for second dates. But also these people take my advice, recognizing that chemistry can develop over a few subsequent dates as you get to know somebody better. And that’s why some of them are now married to their matches.
What i can tell you is that these are people who are sick of dating on their own and truly want to find a partner. They are open minded. They are not clinging tightly to a list of shallow must-haves, they are openhearted, and they are looking to succeed in love. It works. Not changing it. Do you wanna pick somebody for the way they look go on Tinder, bumble yada yada. How’s that working for ya?
I have a testicular cancer, when is the suitable time for me to tell her about this?
sorry to hear that.
Her who?
@@CoffeewithCarey in FB there's one feature that for dating ... it's like tinder but under FB, so I knew her from there. Long story short we met on the weekend 2 weeks ago & went for a movie. It's Deadpool & Wolverine. We watch the movie during noon & since both of us got things to do so we don't have much time to have a conversation. I have messaged her to have a 2nd date & she said yes. So, I'm planning to tell her about the cancer I have somewhere in the future ... if she accepts to have a serious relationship with me
Why do people bring their phones on a date? Turn them off or leave them in the car!
Why? Addiction.
From my experience the mans height (under or over 6 foot) jaw angle (narrow or wide) neck to head ratio and body fat percentage is more important than anything you can do or say to get a second date. Then that changes as time goes on and what you do and say becomes as important to keep her interested in pursuing a relationship.
Those are nice, sure. Good looks attract attention. Nobody’s arguing that. but if the guy is boring,unkind to anyone; or self-involved, uninterested, has different beliefs - it’s probably all over.
the question is why would you want a second date with someone like this? I would be asking myself if i wasnted a second date, not if they wanted one. Wrong emphasis.
Someone like what? These are multiple examples, not a description of one person on one date.