I've been watching you for 10 years, it is hard. I had a difficult family so I never believed in the idea of making one. Thought I might be childfree. Then I fell for a guy who acted like he would love to have a family with me. Dated for several years, got married. Turned out to be narcissistic & abusive, bailed on us. Now I'm a single parent to an almost 4 year old. I love her so much, I might never have had a kid if it weren't for that relationship. But the way people can abandon their kids so easily, after years of pretending to be interested in that? Makes me sick to my stomach. I'm glad at least your daughter has a competent & loving father. Luckily I have extended family who adore her & she knows she is loved. I've had many moments of bawling my eyes out too. Crying because I can't believe people can do this to others. He liked psychologically tomenting me, I didn't see red flags because of history of being mistreated by others. It breaks my heart how much I was manipulated & how much I gave away. The idea of a family is a beautiful thing. But again, I never believed in it. Only during the couple years that we lived together. Years where I was being abused, but I loved my family. So it's not that hard for me to revert to my previous state of mind of knowing that families are comprised of people, and people tend to hurt each other, be selfish, be mentally ill, not know themselves etc. The more people, the more complicated. I do mourn my naivety, and his cruelty. I do mourn that my daughter had her family torn from her, against my wishes, and has a new one in its place. I mourn that sweet little dream that I never expected & never believed in, until it fell into my lap one day. Used against me & torn away. Human beings aren't very nice, unless we work really hard to not suck. That's my opinion & I do work hard at it. But I suppose no one's life goes how they envision it will. You can definitely have a family again, it just has a new shape than before. Whether you want another kid or just a partner. It is 100% possible, even probable. I think I love my daughter too much & know too much about the cruelty / complexity of the world that I could never emotionally handle having another child. I don't want to suffer, I don't want her to suffer. I don't want to add anymore people here. I've contributed enough to this madhouse. But I will carve out my own slice of peace here. I think you're feeling the pain of change & growth & I hope wonderful things will be on your horizon. Blake looks so happy & bright.
Don't forget Steph that you have got half of what you always wanted. Its still a far, far better result than if the relationship ended and you didn't have Blake. So you have half that family - maybe somebody will come along, I think they probably will. But I also think you have to let go of that strong socialisation / desire that you've always had for a certain type of family. You're going to be ok!
This is a good point, but I don't think we should diminish what she did lose. I've been married a long time and that certain knowledge that someone is Just Plain There as your life partner is something everyone instinctively wants and needs. We crave love and security. It's great that they're still so amicable and I'm sure that helps, but you have to give her space to grieve what she did lose, because it was significant.
I am the same as you. I never dated anyone that I could not eventually see myself with long term. It just never appealed to me to not think of it that way.
I want to say that firstly you aren't at fault at all and you did everything you could to keep your family together. No one came fault you for that and all you came do is live to see tomorrow. Cherish your daughter, she will be your hero one day ❤ stay true to yourself. You are so strong. Don't ever, ever forget that. - Kim
I don't have kids yet, but I always thought a single parent would have it a little easier dating another single parent (if they don't have ex-partner drama)
I guess all you can do is be up-front with your new partner and see what shakes out. It's definitely better than secretly or unconsciously hoping you'll get what you want out of it in spite of your impression of what they want. Plus it's only fair, and life is better without secret guilt. And, you never know... you might strike them as awesome enough that what they want from life changes from what they said at first. Something like that happened to me. I was with someone and what I wanted from life changed because my priorities shifted from other materialistic goals to making sure I didn't miss out on a long, fun life with them, and I'm still making sure, almost 30 years later. But if not, then at least you'll have the opportunity to move on without investing/wasting more time and getting even more attached in a one-sided way. Also, I don't know if Blake meets your dates, but it's super important that, if they aren't going to be a long-term match, she doesn't get accustomed to having them around unless they're likely to be the one you keep. Kids get attached. And, hey, a worthy human being will get attached to Blake too. If it's not gonna work, you want to know soonest so there's the least heartbreak all-around. ❤️
According to the website Statista, the life expectancy in 1860 was 39.41 years. In 1930, it was 58.74. In 1980, it was 73.25. I've long nursed the impression that the _reason_ prior generations had an easier time making marriage last was that "until death do us part" wasn't as much of an _accomplishment_ as it is, now.
It sounds like you're making the same mistake again. Don't tell men what you ideally would want them to do because, if they do not share the same goals but want to keep you around for whatever reason (fear of loneliness, sex...), they'll just go along with it for a while until they realize that's not the life they want. I'm not like you. I've never wanted marriage or children, but if I was, this is what I would do every time I started dating someone I could see myself marrying: 1. Make a timeline. When do you expect them to have proposed? Six months in? A year? Establish whichever milestones matter to you. 2. If those milestones aren't happening when you wanted them to, leave and date someone else. Don't ask them to do stuff, don't tell them you'll leave otherwise, don't consider staying if they seemingly change their minds when you break up with them. You don't seem to realize how passive, incapable of introspection and cowardly many men are.
🤔Say, now. That sounds like a _slogan_ you might use. You might adopt the practice of beginning your videos by saying, "Greetings, guys, gals and nonbinary pals."
Still thinking these bath time thoughts vids would be great on the fabled OF tht was mentioned long back jus on a tripod or somehhing chilling in the bath tlkn bout stuff.
I'd be sad if keeping up with her life were paywalled. No shade on those who want to interact with her in OF style, mind you, but I've been following since early Japan days and the (para-)social side of this appeals to my need for fun and interesting friends, not the needs OF tends to cater to. I just want to keep up with her.
@@Felice_Enellen doesn't have to be pay walled , some stuff could be it's really up to the creator how they wanna set up. Honestly I'm still subbed and watching regardless of OF I do like the casual updates and everything it's just something tht was brought up in the past , would make sense and maybe help give a more clear structure view as to what to do with the channel here but ofc ultimately up to her and wht she'd like to do. I'm chill'n either way but she tends to like these bath vids and I am worried bout the camera just dropping lmao or the stress to make sure no nips are exposed cause UA-cam would trip on it xD
I've been watching you for 10 years, it is hard. I had a difficult family so I never believed in the idea of making one. Thought I might be childfree. Then I fell for a guy who acted like he would love to have a family with me. Dated for several years, got married. Turned out to be narcissistic & abusive, bailed on us. Now I'm a single parent to an almost 4 year old.
I love her so much, I might never have had a kid if it weren't for that relationship. But the way people can abandon their kids so easily, after years of pretending to be interested in that? Makes me sick to my stomach. I'm glad at least your daughter has a competent & loving father. Luckily I have extended family who adore her & she knows she is loved.
I've had many moments of bawling my eyes out too. Crying because I can't believe people can do this to others. He liked psychologically tomenting me, I didn't see red flags because of history of being mistreated by others. It breaks my heart how much I was manipulated & how much I gave away.
The idea of a family is a beautiful thing. But again, I never believed in it. Only during the couple years that we lived together. Years where I was being abused, but I loved my family. So it's not that hard for me to revert to my previous state of mind of knowing that families are comprised of people, and people tend to hurt each other, be selfish, be mentally ill, not know themselves etc. The more people, the more complicated.
I do mourn my naivety, and his cruelty. I do mourn that my daughter had her family torn from her, against my wishes, and has a new one in its place. I mourn that sweet little dream that I never expected & never believed in, until it fell into my lap one day. Used against me & torn away. Human beings aren't very nice, unless we work really hard to not suck. That's my opinion & I do work hard at it.
But I suppose no one's life goes how they envision it will. You can definitely have a family again, it just has a new shape than before. Whether you want another kid or just a partner. It is 100% possible, even probable. I think I love my daughter too much & know too much about the cruelty / complexity of the world that I could never emotionally handle having another child. I don't want to suffer, I don't want her to suffer. I don't want to add anymore people here. I've contributed enough to this madhouse. But I will carve out my own slice of peace here. I think you're feeling the pain of change & growth & I hope wonderful things will be on your horizon. Blake looks so happy & bright.
Don't forget Steph that you have got half of what you always wanted. Its still a far, far better result than if the relationship ended and you didn't have Blake. So you have half that family - maybe somebody will come along, I think they probably will. But I also think you have to let go of that strong socialisation / desire that you've always had for a certain type of family.
You're going to be ok!
Thank you
This is a good point, but I don't think we should diminish what she did lose. I've been married a long time and that certain knowledge that someone is Just Plain There as your life partner is something everyone instinctively wants and needs. We crave love and security. It's great that they're still so amicable and I'm sure that helps, but you have to give her space to grieve what she did lose, because it was significant.
I am the same as you. I never dated anyone that I could not eventually see myself with long term. It just never appealed to me to not think of it that way.
I want to say that firstly you aren't at fault at all and you did everything you could to keep your family together. No one came fault you for that and all you came do is live to see tomorrow. Cherish your daughter, she will be your hero one day ❤ stay true to yourself. You are so strong. Don't ever, ever forget that.
- Kim
I don't have kids yet, but I always thought a single parent would have it a little easier dating another single parent (if they don't have ex-partner drama)
I guess all you can do is be up-front with your new partner and see what shakes out. It's definitely better than secretly or unconsciously hoping you'll get what you want out of it in spite of your impression of what they want. Plus it's only fair, and life is better without secret guilt.
And, you never know... you might strike them as awesome enough that what they want from life changes from what they said at first. Something like that happened to me. I was with someone and what I wanted from life changed because my priorities shifted from other materialistic goals to making sure I didn't miss out on a long, fun life with them, and I'm still making sure, almost 30 years later. But if not, then at least you'll have the opportunity to move on without investing/wasting more time and getting even more attached in a one-sided way.
Also, I don't know if Blake meets your dates, but it's super important that, if they aren't going to be a long-term match, she doesn't get accustomed to having them around unless they're likely to be the one you keep. Kids get attached. And, hey, a worthy human being will get attached to Blake too. If it's not gonna work, you want to know soonest so there's the least heartbreak all-around. ❤️
Nice to see a new video, but as whats going back in your life. I hope all works out for you.
Well it's been a minute. I hope all is well. Nice to see you back
According to the website Statista, the life expectancy in 1860 was 39.41 years. In 1930, it was 58.74. In 1980, it was 73.25. I've long nursed the impression that the _reason_ prior generations had an easier time making marriage last was that "until death do us part" wasn't as much of an _accomplishment_ as it is, now.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
the thumbnail and title is 🧑🍳 sorry you’re going through it. I hate this time of year…
4:55 ughhh... sounds brutal.
my 4 year relationship ended too last week
So sorry to hear
divorcing the german guy..
Hey at least you didn't have a break down on a live stream. 👀
It sounds like you're making the same mistake again. Don't tell men what you ideally would want them to do because, if they do not share the same goals but want to keep you around for whatever reason (fear of loneliness, sex...), they'll just go along with it for a while until they realize that's not the life they want.
I'm not like you. I've never wanted marriage or children, but if I was, this is what I would do every time I started dating someone I could see myself marrying:
1. Make a timeline. When do you expect them to have proposed? Six months in? A year? Establish whichever milestones matter to you.
2. If those milestones aren't happening when you wanted them to, leave and date someone else.
Don't ask them to do stuff, don't tell them you'll leave otherwise, don't consider staying if they seemingly change their minds when you break up with them. You don't seem to realize how passive, incapable of introspection and cowardly many men are.
Some people have 1 rubber duck. You have 4
There's a claw machine that has nothing but rubber ducks. Blake makes me always hit it up.
Ah cool@@caffinejedi
🤔Say, now. That sounds like a _slogan_ you might use. You might adopt the practice of beginning your videos by saying, "Greetings, guys, gals and nonbinary pals."
Still thinking these bath time thoughts vids would be great on the fabled OF tht was mentioned long back jus on a tripod or somehhing chilling in the bath tlkn bout stuff.
I should. But my grandfather is still alive and my horrible cousin would rat me out but who knows
@@caffinejedi lel sorry I feel ya I doubt it'd be an issue but like I totes get it whatever you are comfy with
I might do some direct stuff. I kind of already do if people message me but I have some fun ideas.
I'd be sad if keeping up with her life were paywalled. No shade on those who want to interact with her in OF style, mind you, but I've been following since early Japan days and the (para-)social side of this appeals to my need for fun and interesting friends, not the needs OF tends to cater to. I just want to keep up with her.
@@Felice_Enellen doesn't have to be pay walled , some stuff could be it's really up to the creator how they wanna set up. Honestly I'm still subbed and watching regardless of OF I do like the casual updates and everything it's just something tht was brought up in the past , would make sense and maybe help give a more clear structure view as to what to do with the channel here but ofc ultimately up to her and wht she'd like to do. I'm chill'n either way but she tends to like these bath vids and I am worried bout the camera just dropping lmao or the stress to make sure no nips are exposed cause UA-cam would trip on it xD
where is the chinese food and candle light?
I wish
@@caffinejedi Arnal Angus loves a good bath. BLAH HA HA
an ole skit from SNL Colonel Angus come home, funny