I think the whole "red pill" thing for guys, is a reaction to the socio-economic changes in the last couple of decades. Guys used to be the main providers, that is often not the case anymore. Men are both outperformed and outnumbered in higher education in many countries and this change is transitioning into the workplace as women are climbing the career ladder in greater numbers, which is fine as long as it's meritocracy, but I think men feel cast aside as a consequence of the disparity. Men are told to be more emotional, but then rejected when they show said emotion. This isn't just in reference to relationships, just walking down the street it is apparent that stoic, physically large men are more revered. Men don't reach out for help because when they do, they are suddenly avoided or seen as lesser (probably contributing to the suicide rate in males being utterly out of control). Then to top it off, in media and social media, average guys (mainly straight men) are constantly being framed as bad or useless, all the time. Encouraging somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think the issue is men these days......feel lost. They are without a sense of meaning and pride. They go down conspiracy rabbit holes looking for blame and/or reason. I wen't on a bit of a tangent here, and it's not exactly written very coherently perhaps, but to summarize, I think "men" are having a bit of a crisis at the moment and it's not necessarily their fault.
I think when it comes to a (potential) partner being willing to believe in weird stuff like Reiki and crystals it's something you want to think twice about. Yeah it's nice to be tolerant of people's beliefs, but I find it's a red flag for a long-term relationship because, if they're willing to believe that, what might they believe in the future? I'd prefer someone who's more rational/grounded/skeptical right out of the gate.
Sounds like he missed the point and was too passive rather than being too nice. There would be an amount of traditional "masculine" energy that might help him... but obviously he's looking at it through broken glasses.
I must say, I _was_ quite surprised when you first described to us the man who is now your ex. I thought, "My goodness. I mean, I _figured_ they had such people in Germany, but surely, they're much harder to find than in the _US._ In the US, they can often be a challenge to _avoid."_ I find it _particularly_ surprising, though, when one of them pops up in _Germany,_ of all places. I mean, Germany has a history dominated by one particular figure who rose, rapidly to power on a tide of sentiment from a public he never let cool _off._ That's one sure-fire sign of a despot. They won't let you cool off. It's a lot easier for people to be rational, and make good decisions, when they're _calm._ As the old saying goes, cooler heads prevail. So people with rational positions favor calmer, more cool-headed, rational people to show them to. Such people are more likely to see the sense in them. This is one of the lessons modern-day Germany seeks to teach by preserving it so thoroughly in its modern-day schools.
While I’m sure you have very valid points it seems like you have no part in the breakup. I have been following what you show of your life for years now. What I see is not a lot of stability. Not in a bad way but living in several countries, teaching English to being a lawyer now you’re in the entertainment industry. That’s a lot of change.
I am sure I am culpable, but I was trying for 2 years to at least try to make it work. He didn't and chose to end it. That's okay too. It just sucks getting divorced, anyway you have it.
@@caffinejedi yes divorce truly sucks. I have been called many times when it gets ugly and have witnessed that there is way more guilt to go around than involved parties want to admit to. This is a very personal issue for the 3 of you and we really have no right to pry into it.
Maybe I am just cut from different cloth but I will never understand the fervor of conspiracy theorists and people into politics so much they treat it like a sport where it becomes their identity and Anakin Skywalker "If you aren't with me then you are my enemy" mindset. I own a nice house out in the suburbs, have a fantastic high paying job in a HCOL area, and live a peaceful single life doing the occasional board game nights with friends who live close by ... no nonsense, no conspiracies, no politics flooding my mind. I live my life to have fun and retire asap so I can pursue my artistic hobbies even more. Thinking all men or women or a political group of people are out to get me is just reductive and a waste of my time and energy. I'll gladly be friends with anyone but the moment they try to rope me into some form of crap or start saying questionable stuff I just nope out. I've never been one to follow the group or get roped into peer pressure and maybe thats why I am so resilient to cult like hive mind groups of thought but I for one am glad I dodged a lot of the crazy stuff I see people believe in that leads them down a stressful and unhappy life.
You should check out this video “Why we mistake a weak man for a strong one” by brittany simon. Not to say your ex is weak, but that the points you made reminded me alot of her video. Particularly why alot of men mistake these red pilled figures as a strong man, etc. You may find it illuminating. Glad to see at the very least you are coparenting ok…. but damn.
So an amicable divorce in the US takes over a year to formalize? I hate to think how long a contested divorce lasts. I second the suggestion that you should try for a hitech career - there are plenty of different roles available and the salary tends to be on the higher side
I used to believe in a lot of conspiracies until 2012, the reptilians and etc but I started to leave those things after none of their predictions came true and after reading Carl Sagan's book the demon haunted world because I liked the Contact movie since I was a kid. at least those things helped me to learn english. lol good luck!
Hi Caffeine Jedi. I'm sorry about your redpilled hubby, but yeah, shit happens. Mindsets that do nothing for you but make you feel good and part of a bigger group are very difficult to abandon. I just hope it doesn't interfere with parenthood.
Im probably way off base but I really hope you arent using the camera as a substitute for real life friends to talk with and vent to. Do you remember the ex-wrestler China? She had a vlog channel here on UA-cam. She uploaded videos here and there about her trying to navigate her own life challenges first in Japan, then after she moved back to the States. She didnt really have a support system and then what happened, happened. I just hope you have a support system and that nothing happens. Cheers ✌️
Thanks. I have a pretty great support system but thank you. I vlog when I have things on my mind but usually I have already shared them with friends or family. I also have some close friends that I have met directly from UA-cam as well.
If he went so far as not to believe the moon is real, how could you not tell all of this before you got married? Where were your parents and his in this? I'm surprised that this was a new discovery after the marriage and not months and months before. Surely someone who believes in giants and fake moon would drop a hint or two while you two were still courting one another.........
@@caffinejedi not exactly an answer. Not "not the answer I wanted", mind you, just not really the answer. I was being much more grand scale in my question. Sounds like this was a 2 man job.
I guess. Sometimes he was an actual genius in things. Eccentric and good at making money. So probably I just let a lot of things go as just part of him. Sorry if that doesn't make sense.
Oh no...not the red pill nonsense. I hate seeing men get roped up into that. Some women do too. Likely pickme's though. I hope everything works out with you all though. Especially your script writing.
"I will not be going to live in Germany." And that's unfortunate, because Germany has a lot going for it. The average German is _much_ better off than the average American; especially if they want to go to college.
redpill is astrology, quartz and crystals for incels. I'm sorry this happened to you. I had more or less an idea things were not great but not this bad. I envy your dad, I wish I could live like a cryptid in the forest, eat a few hikers here and there, read a few books and paint.
Literally the worst thing to be. That's incel shit my guy. The QAnon was bad enough, but when the entire movement is getting roasted by their own former content creators, it is crumbling internally. Difference in beliefs isn't necessarily a red flag, but it can turn that way especially when one must conform to another in order for there to be actual harmony.
I think the whole "red pill" thing for guys, is a reaction to the socio-economic changes in the last couple of decades. Guys used to be the main providers, that is often not the case anymore. Men are both outperformed and outnumbered in higher education in many countries and this change is transitioning into the workplace as women are climbing the career ladder in greater numbers, which is fine as long as it's meritocracy, but I think men feel cast aside as a consequence of the disparity.
Men are told to be more emotional, but then rejected when they show said emotion. This isn't just in reference to relationships, just walking down the street it is apparent that stoic, physically large men are more revered. Men don't reach out for help because when they do, they are suddenly avoided or seen as lesser (probably contributing to the suicide rate in males being utterly out of control).
Then to top it off, in media and social media, average guys (mainly straight men) are constantly being framed as bad or useless, all the time. Encouraging somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think the issue is men these days......feel lost. They are without a sense of meaning and pride. They go down conspiracy rabbit holes looking for blame and/or reason.
I wen't on a bit of a tangent here, and it's not exactly written very coherently perhaps, but to summarize, I think "men" are having a bit of a crisis at the moment and it's not necessarily their fault.
I think when it comes to a (potential) partner being willing to believe in weird stuff like Reiki and crystals it's something you want to think twice about. Yeah it's nice to be tolerant of people's beliefs, but I find it's a red flag for a long-term relationship because, if they're willing to believe that, what might they believe in the future? I'd prefer someone who's more rational/grounded/skeptical right out of the gate.
Sounds like he missed the point and was too passive rather than being too nice. There would be an amount of traditional "masculine" energy that might help him... but obviously he's looking at it through broken glasses.
You are lovable just the way you are ❤😊
What's your custody schedule like? I've been separated for almost 2 years but don't really have time to date because I have full custody.
We have 50-50 joint custody so that made a big difference.
We can write a cautionary book together. “The Women Who Loved Incels.”
I must say, I _was_ quite surprised when you first described to us the man who is now your ex. I thought, "My goodness. I mean, I _figured_ they had such people in Germany, but surely, they're much harder to find than in the _US._ In the US, they can often be a challenge to _avoid."_
I find it _particularly_ surprising, though, when one of them pops up in _Germany,_ of all places. I mean, Germany has a history dominated by one particular figure who rose, rapidly to power on a tide of sentiment from a public he never let cool _off._ That's one sure-fire sign of a despot. They won't let you cool off.
It's a lot easier for people to be rational, and make good decisions, when they're _calm._ As the old saying goes, cooler heads prevail. So people with rational positions favor calmer, more cool-headed, rational people to show them to. Such people are more likely to see the sense in them.
This is one of the lessons modern-day Germany seeks to teach by preserving it so thoroughly in its modern-day schools.
While I’m sure you have very valid points it seems like you have no part in the breakup. I have been following what you show of your life for years now. What I see is not a lot of stability. Not in a bad way but living in several countries, teaching English to being a lawyer now you’re in the entertainment industry. That’s a lot of change.
I am sure I am culpable, but I was trying for 2 years to at least try to make it work. He didn't and chose to end it. That's okay too. It just sucks getting divorced, anyway you have it.
@@caffinejedi yes divorce truly sucks. I have been called many times when it gets ugly and have witnessed that there is way more guilt to go around than involved parties want to admit to. This is a very personal issue for the 3 of you and we really have no right to pry into it.
The grip the grip the post nasal drip
Maybe I am just cut from different cloth but I will never understand the fervor of conspiracy theorists and people into politics so much they treat it like a sport where it becomes their identity and Anakin Skywalker "If you aren't with me then you are my enemy" mindset.
I own a nice house out in the suburbs, have a fantastic high paying job in a HCOL area, and live a peaceful single life doing the occasional board game nights with friends who live close by ... no nonsense, no conspiracies, no politics flooding my mind. I live my life to have fun and retire asap so I can pursue my artistic hobbies even more. Thinking all men or women or a political group of people are out to get me is just reductive and a waste of my time and energy. I'll gladly be friends with anyone but the moment they try to rope me into some form of crap or start saying questionable stuff I just nope out.
I've never been one to follow the group or get roped into peer pressure and maybe thats why I am so resilient to cult like hive mind groups of thought but I for one am glad I dodged a lot of the crazy stuff I see people believe in that leads them down a stressful and unhappy life.
I think you would like the book Sapiens by Harari
You should check out this video “Why we mistake a weak man for a strong one” by brittany simon. Not to say your ex is weak, but that the points you made reminded me alot of her video. Particularly why alot of men mistake these red pilled figures as a strong man, etc. You may find it illuminating. Glad to see at the very least you are coparenting ok…. but damn.
So an amicable divorce in the US takes over a year to formalize? I hate to think how long a contested divorce lasts. I second the suggestion that you should try for a hitech career - there are plenty of different roles available and the salary tends to be on the higher side
I embrace the craziness, im fine I just have to grow into my eccentricity, both my late teens love the slight madness of dad time
I used to believe in a lot of conspiracies until 2012, the reptilians and etc but I started to leave those things after none of their predictions came true and after reading Carl Sagan's book the demon haunted world because I liked the Contact movie since I was a kid. at least those things helped me to learn english. lol good luck!
Have you considered IT Certifications instead of trade school?
Thanks. I have but am looking for something that works with my ADHD.
@@caffinejedi Why do think it does not work with your ADHD?
I find sitting in one spot really difficult.
Red pill blue pill. I’ve taken both
Hi Caffeine Jedi. I'm sorry about your redpilled hubby, but yeah, shit happens. Mindsets that do nothing for you but make you feel good and part of a bigger group are very difficult to abandon. I just hope it doesn't interfere with parenthood.
Im probably way off base but I really hope you arent using the camera as a substitute for real life friends to talk with and vent to. Do you remember the ex-wrestler China? She had a vlog channel here on UA-cam. She uploaded videos here and there about her trying to navigate her own life challenges first in Japan, then after she moved back to the States. She didnt really have a support system and then what happened, happened. I just hope you have a support system and that nothing happens. Cheers ✌️
Thanks. I have a pretty great support system but thank you. I vlog when I have things on my mind but usually I have already shared them with friends or family. I also have some close friends that I have met directly from UA-cam as well.
@@caffinejedi great to hear 👍
Watched the whole video. I’m glad to hear that your ex-husband is a good father!
If he went so far as not to believe the moon is real, how could you not tell all of this before you got married? Where were your parents and his in this? I'm surprised that this was a new discovery after the marriage and not months and months before. Surely someone who believes in giants and fake moon would drop a hint or two while you two were still courting one another.........
It was a slow burn into crazy town.
Kind of like a boiling frog
@@caffinejedi not exactly an answer. Not "not the answer I wanted", mind you, just not really the answer. I was being much more grand scale in my question. Sounds like this was a 2 man job.
I guess. Sometimes he was an actual genius in things. Eccentric and good at making money. So probably I just let a lot of things go as just part of him. Sorry if that doesn't make sense.
@@caffinejedi do you explain in this or any other videos what was he good at and how exactly was he good making money?
Oh no...not the red pill nonsense. I hate seeing men get roped up into that. Some women do too. Likely pickme's though.
I hope everything works out with you all though. Especially your script writing.
"I will not be going to live in Germany."
And that's unfortunate, because Germany has a lot going for it. The average German is _much_ better off than the average American; especially if they want to go to college.
redpill is astrology, quartz and crystals for incels. I'm sorry this happened to you. I had more or less an idea things were not great but not this bad. I envy your dad, I wish I could live like a cryptid in the forest, eat a few hikers here and there, read a few books and paint.
Be careful not to throw the word incel around so liberally. It'll lose its meaning and become the new n@zi
Literally the worst thing to be. That's incel shit my guy. The QAnon was bad enough, but when the entire movement is getting roasted by their own former content creators, it is crumbling internally. Difference in beliefs isn't necessarily a red flag, but it can turn that way especially when one must conform to another in order for there to be actual harmony.
"Literally the worst thing to be. That's incel shit my guy. "
I would recommend reading Scott Alexander's _Radicalizing the Romanceless_ .