i saw andrew + working out + cleaning and cooking
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- Опубліковано 12 лют 2023
- He came over, but it didn't go how I expected. I'm trying to get stronger, to be better every day. I'm trying to stay positive, but it's hard. I started strength training - sort of. Cleaning helps me pass the time and provides a distraction.
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Cindy L.
1411 Highway 50 W
1059
Pueblo, CO 81008
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Listen to me Cindy, don't ever apologize for not uploading a video. It is 100% okay for you to take some time off yt when you need it, your health and well being is much more important than us internet strangers knowing what happens in your life. I love you ❤❤
Yes you never need to apologize!!
🦄We 🦄never 🦄need 🦄an🦄 apology🦄 from🦄 you 🦄👸sweetness 😘🦄 ❤️ 💕 💓 EVER NO MATTER WHAT !¡!🏴🌻🍀🐥🦄
yep
The door is definitely not closed. He’s gotta work through stuff on his own. I’m glad the meeting was positive.
didnt age well
I’m glad you guys shared a moment together but still give him time to slowly dip his toes in the water again. Also, if these videos are soemthing that might upset him for the sake of privacy, I understand why you might not want to share so much of this. You two are both deserving of love and can get through this patch if that’s what you 2 want.
Really glad you got a chance to see him
Girl, I want you both to get back together, but just one thing. Seems like your whole being is based on him. You need some good friends and to find your autonomy again. You don't need to be attached constantly. Finding yourself with and without him is important.
Yes! This is wonderful advice!
Yeah that's kinda what you get with BPD, that's why she's going to therapy
Exactly why he left because she wouldn’t do this without him forcing her to. So sad 😞 for both of them it came to this. BPD is why she has such unhealthy attachments in the first place. She can get through this but only with a whole lot of work on her part in order to change with a psychologist who specialises in personality disorders. People are sending her the funds for her to seek out such therapy. Fingers crossed she does it!
I used to be exactly the way she is. I don't how I got my mess together but I did so I'm praying for her and I have no doubt she will figure it out.
She told you herself that she has a personality disorder. THIS is what that looks like!
I'm really proud of you! I've seen such an improvement during this time. You're finally eating enough, you're becoming self-aware, you're cleaning up the house and achieving your goals, enjoying your hobbies, going to therapy, etc. It doesn't mean that you're automatically going to be perfect and not make mistakes, but the mistakes you may make will be less severe and you'll be able to bounce back.
My husband and I had a period of separation for 2 years (been together for 12). While I hated it and it felt soul crushing, felt lost, dreaded sleeping because I'd dream of him, I'm thankful we went through it because we needed to be apart to realize how much we appreciated each other and began to miss what we once had. We also both had other relationships in that period and realized its just not the same as being with each other. It seems backwards but I am very appreciative of that experience and what it taught us despite it being very hard to go through in the early stages of separation. It did help to find myself and get my confidence back.
It’s so weird to watch a stranger living the same life you lived and experienced. ❤❤ I hope everything goes well, rooting for you
Last year my husband of 15 years finally had enough of me not addressing my mental health issues and we separated. I was broken. I needed to focus myself before I could fix us. Initially he didn't want to be with me ever again. So I got therapy and worked on me. We are renewing our vows this year and are back to being inseparable. I was codependant, he couldnt take it anymore. I broke him without meaning to. I had an abusive childhood and didn't know how to love or be loved. Now I'm a whole new person. I'm not a total control freak now and relinquished control of many things and let him take over. My head isn't such a scary place anymore. Our relationship is healthy and we are incredibly happy.
If you ever need to talk to someone that gets it, I'm here. You've got this. Stay strong 💓💓💓💓
awh I'm so happy for you both! 🥰
I Clicked so fast- sending all the love to you Cindy
Also, I don't know if I'm imagining it but I think this is the first video with a genuine smile since Andrew left. Makes me even happier for you
As much as I look forward to your videos, you really have no obligation to post everyday. You do whatever feels natural to you like not vlogging to have privacy and peace.
Yes to the 80s music for Cindy workouts. Really love it! 🎉 Go Cindy! Keep it up!
I was separated for 3 years and we reconciled and welcomed a new baby. Maybe a break is needed to focus on yourself but it isn’t over!
Did that kiss relieve any stress? Honestly- just knowing he still cares and loves you sounds amazing… and gives me a lot of hope that you two can work it out. Just remember patience.
That is so positive, I am really happy for you. I think there’s definitely hope. I highly recommend working through the materials as you go, it helps so much. Try not to overthink his reactions and actions. I am certain everything is going to work out. Sending you good vibes. I hope you saw my comment about the course under the previous video. Take care. Happy to see you
Holy crap, your skin looks smooth as satin. Your skincare routine must be on point.
You're doing amazing! Sending you healing and comforting vibes
I think he just needs a little space. Of course he loves you, but the situation sounds intense and he needs time to clear his head and re center himself. Sometimes when people take care of themselves they need time to focus on them self. I would also avoid all of your thoughts about him centering around you. For example wondering if he really has to work or just doesn’t want to see you. He ASKED to see you. Don’t let yourself latch on to negative thoughts. Also; his thoughts may not always be about you and that’s ok- that’s part of self care.
Glad you’re feeling a little more positive, Cindy. Sounds like getting to see Andrew was encouraging for you, even if it was only for a few minutes. Hope things continue to improve.❤
GIRL omg I was stressin' all weekend thinking about you and hoping things were well. Only 2 minutes into the video but I'm tearing up and feeling so relieved. Okay going to keep watching now lol
I don't think you need to consider allowing him his space and time to figure things out "settling." If that's what he needs, you should honor that and also be grateful for the communication you are getting from him. According to what you've said before, he has dealt with 15 years of essentially being a caregiver and not feeling like a partner. He is allowed to take time to sort out what he really wants and to also properly grieve for the loss of your son. He still cares for you otherwise he wouldn't talk to you at all or want to see you. Allow him to come to you when he is ready, not when you're ready for him to. He will appreciate that more than you know.
Additionally, there's a podcast about BPD that I find incredibly informative and the host is wonderful. It's called Back From the Borderline. It may be nice to listen to when you don't have therapy just so you can have something to relate to and hopefully help you feel less alone in your struggle with it.
Glad you got to see Andrew face to face. I hope that hope gives you the strength to do the work you need to you for yourself! Keep on; even though you have bad days; you can do it!
I am absolutely glad you got a chance to see him you got this girly just remember your a strong women
I'm very impressed by how you've been handling this, Cindy, sending you lots of love from Norway!
Tip for the grease stain: rub dish soap on the stain before washing. Works like a charm.
I am so glad you saw Andrew and it was positive. You're doing amazing. Keep going. It will get better!
You can mix coffee (like the powder, after you cooked coffee from it) into the soil for your plants :)
You do look very pretty. 🙂
Cindy, don't worry about the soil. There is no perlite in nature where mint grows (ours grows like a weed in the garden.) About the rosemary, I'm sorry but it's dead dead xD you could try cutting the stem off and see if new growth occurs, but that stem sadly is no longer with us.
Wow Cindy your eyes are glowing! So happy for you, just keep going 🙂
Have a beautiful Monday Cindy! Don't ever allow your mind to manipulate you into believing that time spent apart in a relationship is a negative. It is your individual opportunity to learn and to flourish as the individual you want to be, a part from anyone else. We as humans deserve to prosper even when we are alone, stay strong! ❤️
I'm glad you talking to him worked, generally you should give someone space when something like this happens, but always remember that no one knows your sittuation better than you do. YOU know what to do, in this case openly communicating with him was a good thing. There's really no guide book or rules for life sometimes, and I think it's the hardest part about life, no matter how much advice you get, your sttuation is always unique. Even if you should follow some advice, sometimes it's not that easy.
I’m so happy for you that you got to see Andrew. I hope you get to see each other again soon. Sending all my positive energy to you and your relationship.🤞🏻🖤😘
I knew from the beginning that Andrew does love you. But hey this kicked your ass into gear and made you get help that you had been putting off. I’ve been there and done that and I’m a much healthier person than I was. It really takes losing it all to finally click in our brain. Love u Cindy and you got this! Keep working on yourself!
I am sure he was happy to see you and kiss you, it seems like it was a very sweet moment. I am so glad to hear this, maybe it's the first step towards a healthier marriage that will last forever 💖
I'm going through a kind of similar thing with my husband. It's always good when we learn how we're negatively affecting people so we can see how we need to change and grow. I'm hoping things work out for you! ♥️
Those shots where you were outside were so beautiful! you look amazing!
I hope everything works out. It looks like it will.
"You are the sky, everything else is just the weather." I saw this quote the other day and thought you or someone else might needed to hear it.
I was worried when you didn't upload yesterday. Good to hear from you. But know that you don't have an obligation to post everyday. Your mental health comes first. Sending love as always 🫶🏻
You do look so pretty Cindy, especially after your workout you were glowing! ☺️
OMG I'm crossing my fingers for you guys 🤞🏼🤞🏼 you are just 2 beautiful souls and I hope you can reconcile and be happy.
So glad to see you happy, working so hard on yourself (and your surroundings) and improving!
Happy that you and Andrew talked. Hope you'll both be happy, together or not.
I think that space and time is what you two need. You have both have gone through so much I'm such a short time. I am hoping everything will work out, I love seeing you two together, I'm sending you positive energy Cindy💕🌿☀️
Glad you could see Andrew for a bit at least!
And congratulations for 15k subs 🎉
So happy for this update! Glad to hear that you and Andrew are making positive progress!! I know things are still hard and depressing but keep up the work you need to do on urself. This is a great opportunity to show urself and Andrew how strong u are.
So hopeful and wonderful. Wishing you the best and really admire your vulnerability
aw cindy im glad you got to see andrew
I'm beyond relieved for you Cindy, hopefully you'll meet tomorrow, and even if you don't, you have made so much progress this past week. In fact, perhaps this was a bit of catalyst in a way? I try to see meaning and silver lining in even the most negative of experiences. You look so pretty too, I love the way the mineral shadow makes your eyes pop!!
Glad that he came to see you 🙂 take your time and continue to work on yourself hun!
I'm so happy every time I see that you have an update! I click on it the second I see it, and to know that you are getting better everyday is an awesome feeling. It may be hard now, but everything lines up in the end. Keep on working on yourself, I can tell that your smile is slowly coming back.
Hugs to Andrew and you. Love you both, little steps but everything will be okay 💗 I just want to cry happy tears for you. So happy to see you strength training too! Also, your hair looks so beautiful - idk if it’s the lighting but it’s such a pretty brown!
Sending lots of love and light. We’re all here for you Cindy.
Sending you all my love and support! ♥️
oh my! Cindy, i'm so happy you saw Andrew. trust your instinct, keep going, you have got this Cindy - we're all here behind you! 💜
This was the update I was absolutely holding my breath for. So glad you got to see Andrew. Good luck with the group therapy and finding an individual therapist. It can be hard and take a long time so stay persistent. ♡
so glad you got to see Andrew today :) keep your chin up xx
I meant it when I said if my bpd ex would've taken the steps I would've taken him back. this was true up until last year and that's for so many reasons but not because of how I felt about him. What you guys have is strong, you just cannot ever forget what you are learning. BPD is a lifetime of learning but it doesn't have to be boring learning
This is great for mirroring. Everyone can clean together ❤
This is such great news! I think you both should have your own individual therapists and do some work while apart and then see a therapist together. The time apart will really help you two. Keep focusing on yourself Cindy and allow him the time to focus on himself as well. I'm wishing you both a lot of luck on your own journeys and your journey together.
Glad to hear you got to see him even though it was for a short time. I think it gave you some kinda boost. You got this, Cindy! Love and hugs 💖
I bought "daylight" lightbulbs for my house a few years ago and they're way brighter than the normal lightbulbs that have a yellowed tint to them. I don't know what kinds of lightbulbs you've got, but since you don't like when it gets dark daylight bulbs might help?
I think patience and working on yourself is key, its great that youve started strength ttaining! I just started again too
Fun fact my psychiatrist told me years back when i was diagnosed with bpd that i HAD to get daily exercise (whatever i wanted) to help get better and stabilise my mood (here there is no DBT or CBT unfortunately) and he was right it genuinely helps since then i notice when im sat for long periods and not doing yoga or walking or anything i do get more down or unstable and these things feel so good cause they put you back in your body and help create endorphins you need
Ok fine I’ll clean my room 😂 you convinced me
Actually good on you shooting your shot. Regardless of all the advice one can give you on what you SHOULD do, sometimes you gotta go against that and risk it for the biscuit, which you did. You’re wondering if he looked happy because of the time away from you or what but I think it’s because he is there to see you. I highly doubt he would look happy in your presence if it had to do with time away from you. If you really made him unhappy and still unhappy, I think he would reflect that when he went to go see you. Like something he didn’t really want to do and was dreading it but I don’t think that is the case. I think he really does miss you a lot. I think he’s been busy with work and unfortunately for him, he has to not only deal with what is going on with you and him but he is still responsible and has to keep up with his job and the troubles it comes with like you said he didn’t see you yesterday because he covered for someone. Didn’t you say he’s a manager?? I really believe he’s busy when away from you and has to balance problems with work and the stuff with you. Bottom line lol I think he is happy around you because he missed you.
It seems to me like you are on the right track. You are inspiring me! I even got a DBT skills workbook and have been watching videos on the skills on UA-cam. We all have work to do on ourselves. I even started looking into different cleaning routines for my hole. Your being positive when all this crap was thrown at you made me feel like I can be strong too. Thanks Cindy!
If you want some cleaning/organizing channel recommendations, I recommend Clutterbug, Do It On a Dime, and Aurikatariina (she's so wholesome) :)
Maybe try to play some games, like sims or whatever at night, to keep occupied, so you dont start to message and going into the suffocating behaviors,it really help me whit my BPD, as I saw another comment, I too NEVER make any choices or message things and such after 5-6 at noon (I'm swedish Haha we would say 17-18 at the afternoon, but I think you get it) and if you get an impulse, just write it down somewhere instead and do NOT send it, wait until the morning and think about it then!
You got this baby, were here for you, one day at the time! ❤
I'm glad you and Andrew are slowly working through this. Remember that he's probably feeling just as conflicted and emotional as you about all of this, so there's no rush to get back into it. Take your time and start slow and keep improving and things will all work out in the end!!
Good to see you, beautiful. So glad Andrew is okay also and that you got time together.
So happy you got to see Andrew.
I am so happy to hear this news!! You guys are so cute together and I know you guys will be able to work it out after hearing this news. You look beautiful in this video by the way!!
you have such a beautiful spirit (and smile!) - i just discovered your channel yesterday but i've watched quite a few of your most recent videos and i can't help but smile when you smile. i hope you have a beautiful day + can work things out with the man that you love. please keep up the hard work, you are showing great strength right now. - sending love, from california. 🤍
I'm so so happy for you! You got this, Cindy :)
So happy to see you today! Things will get more manageable. Keep pushing. Maybe a small indoor grill would be good for you. I hear you on the grill situation I don't even know how to turn mine on let alone use it😹💟
dawn dish soap (I use the platinum one) get grease out of my clothes just drip some on scrub it in with an old tooth brush and wash
The Cindy of the future will benefit of you protecting your inner peace and strength. Always be reminded that everything you’ll do now has an impact. ❤
Sending you all the best and hoping things continue to improve for you ❤️
I'm glad you seen Andrew.
Sending you love! ❤
I'm so glad you got to see Andrew! I think your genuine smile shows that you are doing better as well. I love watching you and supporting you but please do not feel obliged to post every day. Btw I hope this will put a smile on your lips, I'm currently binging your old sims 2 videos! I'd watch you play any sims game any day Cindy!
Good that you’re focusing on yourself! Everything will come together. Focusing on yourself will help everything will come back together.
Nothing but love for you, Cindy! You're doing amazing work on both yourself and your environment, and I hope your "you" time is nice and relaxing because a lot of change all at once can be so overwhelming!
Thanks for the reminder to clean my hole! I started doing dishes twice a day and it's making a world of difference 😄
Thanks for the cleaning motivation, Cindy 😊
Cheering to see you update and that you’re doing ok! We love and support you!
I love ur transitions on ur videos lately lol its so cute
I haven't watched the whole video but had to.comment when you lamented about getting grease on your shirt.
I go through probably half a bottle or more of stain remover spray A MONTH because I am CONSTANTLY splattering myself when I'm cooking or cleaning, or dropping food on my shirt. So I feel you so hard on that. It's insanely frustrating.
I've found that stain removing spray, plus a little laundry detergent on the stain, and then letting it 'marinate' for a couple hours (or days, in my case) typically gets out most hard stains on my shirts. Good luck! Now back to finish the vlog...
You're doing great just one foot in front of the other, and so many healthy habits getting instilled. Last time I had a crushing blow in life, it was all drinking and sobbing, pills, total disaster person. You're way more mature and healthy in your coping and that's freaking awesome! I"m hoping your life gets all the peace and love back in it and you get your happiness too, you deserve it!!!!!
I've heard that powdered egg shells (blended in a blender or food processor) is good to mix into soil 🥚
I REALTE TO YOU SO HARDDDD. My relationship story is so similar to yours & my boyfriends name is also Andrew 😅 I really appreciate you vlogging this experience because it makes me feel less alone.
I’m going to be real raw and open with you, but also TW for talk of specific mental health diagnosis:
I just recently (5-6 months ago) found out I was bipolar. I was in a manic filled rage, doing a lot of stupid things. Making dumb choices. Dumb choices that I should have not been forgiven for. All because I didn’t feel seen, heard or cared about in my relationship. But I was never taught how to communicate with another person without some sort on conflict.
It’s also really hard to regulate your emotions when you feel like your whole world is crumbling apart.
We took some time apart, and slowly worked our way back together. Talking more about how we feel, why we feel that way. We’re stronger than ever. Being medicated also helps though 😅
I wrote all that just to really say: I have faith for you & your relationship. Take it one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Know that you’re not alone and ily ♥️
You’re doing great, Cindy 💝
Yay!! I'm so glad that hings are seeming to be better. Just keep taking care of yourself, you deserve it.
everything will be alright. and no matter what that “alright” will look like, whether you guys stay together or not, remember you are worthy of love no matter what. the universe works in funny ways. sometimes life has to go to total shit and everything has to seemingly crumble down for you to heal, grow and become happier than ever. hang in there, we all believe in you.
Hi I'm back after watching the whole vid.
Just wanted to say that I can see that you're doing better. Compared to the video you posted a week ago you are more energetic and motivated and that makes me absolutely happy, you geniuenly made me chuckle today when you talked about how you had to chase your cat.
I'm also so happy to see you're eating and cooking for yourself, I was so proud when you said you finished those 2 stakes for dinner. I know how hard it is to eat when you just can't, I've been having to force myself to eat just so I don't starve for the past 5 months since I left a really stressful and toxic work enviroment so good job girlie!!
And again, don't apologize for not uploading as frequently, it's okay if you wanna post less so you can get more things done, we're all gonna wait for you here ❤❤❤
When you said he came over the next day, I was so giddy for you. We're rooting for ya over here!
Always wishing the best for you, Cindy. I know you're going through so much, but you've been doing so well; you seem sunnier in each video. Thank you for inspiring me - I'm going through some health issues right now and have been feeling very low, but watching you has motivated me to be more optimistic. ❤❤❤❤
I’m hoping Andrew knows you’re uploading these videos. I would hate all the progress you’ve been making be destroyed from the shock when he finds out if he doesn’t know already. You look so much better, and you should be so so proud of all the progress you’ve made ❤ whatever happens we are rooting for you and we are confident you will get through this, one way or the other
Try putting a drop of dawn dish soap on each of the grease spots and just throw them in the washer like normal.
Cindy...thank you so much for posting these. I struggle to function outside of work daily and have just lost absolute control of my home& cleaning. I stumbled upon this channel and was drawn in by your honesty and realness and it's incredibly inspiring. I didn't even realize you were the Cindy I always used to watch until you mentioned Bella. You're helping me remember to just keep going and keep up with what I can. I think i'll make a little spreadsheet cleaning list like you showed. Thank you, thank you, thank you ♥
for the grease stain on your shirt, you can try using oven degreaser on it. I havent tried this myself, but i had seen a video where someone did it. But anyway i'm happy you got to see him in person and you gained some hope :)
your living room is so cozy looking
I'm so happy for you that things are finally moving in the right direction! I'm sending lots of positive vibes! I'm 100% sure things will work out for you two 💜
Hoping all the best for you. (Big big hugs) ❤