Hey guys! Thanks for watching and I hope that was helpful. Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited) 💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass 🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions 🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/
How can I apply some of the teachings here on a long distance relationship? I have been in a long distance relationship for 4 years. We have a 2 year old daughter. We planned to start living together this year, but COVID19 has delayed everything. It is difficult to communicate over the phone.
Hi there.. i realy have a problem like this with my wife and i realy wana win her heart back.. what shoul i do! Will i wait her untill shes cooling down. Or shiuld i talk to her. I realy dont know what to do
hey @geoffrey this is a very nice advice that i could use, however, we havent seen each other personally since march and we broke up in july. i don't know when we could meet up in person. would it be fine to wait until then? it has been a month since we broke up and i'm really scared that she might go farther away or find someone else. hope you will respond, thank you.
@Geoffrey Setiawan Been watching your videos for a little while now. Currently something going on with my relationship and yes everything in the relationship pyramid occurred for her to say she’s no longer in love with me. We talked about everything and she told me she trusts me She told me how she feels but another thing she said she’s no longer bothered no more. She just needs time to herself for think. What do I do at this point and is there anything I can do. She’s okay with having contact and texting and hanging out. But what do I do at this point. Please and thank you.!
What I appreciate about you Geoffrey is that you don’t say “give up walk away” like I’ve been hearing daily .. it’s not that easy. I know what love is ! My wife of 17 yrs was killed by a texting teenage driver .. 2013. I loved her. Now I have a partner that we share so much love. I became needy and supplication ran amok.. she asked me for time and I made every mistake possible but I have yet to feel any anger towards her. I am working on me and feel positive about a reconciliation. You are the first to say positive solutions are possible ! I cannot thank you enough.
April 9, 2022: We have been together for more than 2 years. And today she told me she doesn't feel the same way about me like she used to. And she really meant it. I can feel it in her voice. Thank You for the video.. Will be back here after 1 week. Edit: April 10, 2022: Just one day later, I went to her house, we began to talk and I confess her all out. And said I will grow myself mentally, and acted likewise.. We both almost burst into tears.. Now I can say we both are happy, cause I can feel her more closely... Thank You
Emotional baggage destroys: emotional, psychological safety. Admiration, Heal emotional baggage 1. Let her express herself 2. Understand the problem How to open up 1. Start non verbally 2. open ended questions 3. Repeat paraphrase clarify Solutions 1. Never force a conversation 2. Focus on zero arguments 3. In person please.
I went to college to be a game designer, and took classes to think systemically when it comes to fixing video games. What I love about this channel is that the advice is systemic, it's not looking at little short term bandages and tactics to make things work again for a little while. It's not looking at ways to cling to power, hurt your partner, and make them feel small. It's trying to curry mutual trust, safety, and understanding through hard work, vulnerability, and effort. It accepts, unlike all the common notions, that living with someone else is hard, and there's no substitute to that work. The review between videos makes the core concept very clear in understanding how it is the underlying problem no matter what the surface level issue is.
Everybody says - move on. I can't move on, I can't move on again. Thanks for giving me hope, I was ready to do physical harm to myself, anything to get my mind off the loss of my fiance.
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Im extremely thankful for the time you have taken to make all these videos. My wife is not in love with me and she doesnt know if she can regain love for me again. Im trying to watch and apply these lessons so i can save my bond with my wife. Thank you geoffrey
@@bearbrewer8517 im two months in and things are far from clear. I have my wifes friendship but not romantic love. Stay strong brother and try to find the best self you can and work on that. Good luck
@@ApeRiderr she pretended her male coworker was a just a friend untill he was just pas it. And them i fond out he is a registered six child offeri. And i got 12 a 15 and 21 yp. Im still mad lovely guys im bein honest. I miss have the godd/best friend as my wife shes a hunk of ahit to and since I mahe chowe to ive a man like that with our two ramining in that house.... im not goijg bavk. Those POSs dewerve each other otltge.r othrr i always like to help people all lif2e crPpy journeys so if any dude just a guy to talk with we could figure sonethi. Hipe tall are doing better than me.
Hi Tarek Ahmed, Have you joined my free 90 min master class to see how so many of my clients have had success in restore hope in their relationships once again? relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
She genuinely does not have hope anymore,she does not care about me at all and she thinks she can do whatever she wants.She never reassured me,she always puts me down,she does not support me at all.But at the same time she does not break up with me.She has a few times but I’ve always pulled her closer.
Thank you so much. My fiancé told me 3 days ago that she didn’t love me anymore and that she didn’t know why, but she’s willing to try and resolve it. The next day I found this video and implemented the way you advised to question. Had results already, after just two days of asking. Obviously not resolved just like that, but you’ve given me hope and for that I thank you and have signed up for the 5 step program on Tuesday.
@@GeoffreySetiawan I’ve just took part in the 5 step masterclass, took notes and will work on them. I couldn’t afford the program unfortunately but I feel more confident and I’m a very open person when it comes to looking within and making positive change. I will persist in what you’ve taught me so far and will continue to watch your UA-cam videos for a deeper insight. It’s the best I can do at present. Thanks again
I heard these gut wrenching words and that was the end for me. I went into depression for a week because I was trying but she kept rejecting me as if she was satisfied with my pain. At the same time she was telling me she doesnt want me to leave and she loved me. She was back and fourth wi th her emotions. I got confused and just moved out after a week. I went to work and never came back home. Once a women says that it's over....dont try to fix it. It will only be an ego booster. You will only get pity from her afterwards
Maaaan this is what I need right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I tried saying to my wife if we don't respect each other our relationship will not work and she blew up because divorce and leaving is what I tried calling her bluff before which was in the first stages of our marriage. Been together for 27 years and married for 15 now and I cannot let her go.
My girlfriend told me she didn't feel the same way anymore, she's been really depressed and telling me she's extremely unhappy, with her physical appearance along with school and being stressed from overworking herself, but she tells me there's nothing I can do to make her feel better because I am not the problem. I came here because she said she wanted to wait until winter was over to see if she's just feeling this way because she's depressed, and she gets worse during the winter. I'm trying whatever I can, we've been on and off for Five years, and I've always been the one who broke up with her, im 17 so i was really young and stupid and i really regret what i did. (i never cheated or anything, just broke her heart too many times.) but im trying to make up for it all and trying my best to show her she can trust me now, even if it takes a long time i want to build her trust back no matter what, and make her fall in love with me again.
My girlfriend told me she doesn't like anything about me and the only reason she is with me is that she would feel guilty if she said no. I don't get it I thought I was being liked I was trying my best to be likeable
My wife says she doesn’t love me any more, and doesn’t want to try because she doesn’t think it will change. I still love her and want to keep my family together.
My wife told me she didn't love me anymore. I found there were a few things that I had done that made her feel unwanted. She also found there were a few things she perceived differently than what they were. I am not working on being a better husband and showing her through conditional love that I am here for her when she needs it. 2 weeks without arguing. Things seem to be getting better. I do agree with others. Geoffrey you are a great coach.
Thankyou, I'm going to try these ways of talking to her and listening, not because I want her to take me back but because I want her to know I'm not the crappy person she thinks I am. She's just had our first child 3 months ago, I need to fix this what I broke. Stress of being a dad and having to live so far from them for work I struggled to cope with that.
Wife said she doesn’t love me anymore and doesn’t want to try to save marriage, we haven’t been intimate for many years , I can’t even touch her , it’s like I have a disease, we have had arguments over the years, she laughed at me and said I can’t believe you haven’t seen this coming for a while,she said I have been there for her emotional support over the years. please help me save my marriage I love my wife dearly going on 30 years
So I've been with her for about 4 years and I she's been drifting away I would say, so I asked her if she still loved me, she asked why, I told her that she hasn't been acting like it and she said she doesn't think so, it really hurts but I'm trying my best to stay positive we are still together and we are on good terms, it just that she probably doesn't feel anything for me anymore
Hey Ly, Thank you brother! Happy this video was insightful for you. I and all my clients have implemented all these principles to build a thriving relationship. If you’d like to learn more about it, you can begin by joining our free masterclass here. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass At the end of this masterclass, you will also get some information on how you can submit your application for the program. And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below! Client Review Videos: ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html Client Review Screenshots: drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Gp8UpRV9uMlFx763BfuQnEqN930FQb7b?usp=sharing
I’m being tested man, I just failed a huge one today. He said I’m slipping back to how I used to be, that he can see the changes when they’re there but atm I was my old self. I didn’t even SEE it until he pointed it put 😱 Everything’s playing out the same as in Geoffry’s videos I can’t wait to be able to afford this program. He even said I should forget about wanting to like him again because its affecting me negatively and hindering my progress… 😢
Maaan I needed this right now. i'm going through this right now my wife said this last week because I said without respect our relationship will not work and I do not if I can do this anymore which was a HUUUGE mistake!!!!
My wife walked out two months ago and says she isn’t in love with me anymore, isn’t attracted to me and hasn’t been for a very long time. We’ve been together 13 years. We can go to dinner together or take our kids shopping but I don’t know how to get my wife to have feelings for me again. She refuses to try and says she has no interest in being married to me anymore. Is it hopeless?
Actually just got out of a 2 year long distance relationship. she said she doesn’t feel anything for me anymore. The problem was that she didn’t express things that bothered her about me and I didn’t know about them until she tried breaking up with me. I asked her to try again and she agreed but she was cold to me after that. I was trying to be more present and talk to her more but she acted like she was annoyed with my existence. This lasted a week until I asked her how she feels “about us” before she went to sleep. She said “I don’t feel anything tbh. I’m going to sleep goodnight.” I felt like an idiot for even trying and told her “we are done, take care of yourself.”
This is the second video of you that I've watched. Thank you so much for all the information and advices. I haven't checked yet but do you have a version of this for LDR relationship? Thank you again!
It's been 3 years since we are married. During these years I realy cared and loved her in every aspect. We were happy. But suddenly one morning she was gone. I called her. She said that she was with her parents. I went there to take her. She said she won't come back. I asked for the reason. She kept quiet. I didn't asked for any explanation anymore. Believing she would be back if I give her space. Times went by. It's been 27 days, almost a month she has not come. No text, no calls...Giving Space Doesn't Work
Well I asked the right questions, she's been avoiding telling me the truth. I was told today that she no longer is in love with me. I didn't react I took it calmly and I asked her what made her feel this way. I'm currently a 1000 miles away. I'm in military training and it's hard to do this over the phone.
She left me a few weeks ago and tells me, she doesnt even think about our problems anymore, is numb towards me and even tells me, that she feels better without me... Andy solutions?
My ex and me broke up about 3 months ago. We’ve had problems due to my depression, lack of physical affection and being separate with this quarantine it finally blew up. It’s been so difficult since because I love her. Always feeling the pain everyday. But it seems like she moved on so easily. She’s being more productive and seems happier. And I try to be productive as well and work out too. Work on my insecurities and flaws. But sometimes it feels like it’s for nothing when I know she’s not by my side. It hurts like hell. I’m really stuck in a funk. Your videos do help I appreciate it a lot. I’m just trying and it’s so difficult.
Eddie -- I have a video in about 2 weeks that answers this question for you. The problem here is that you're doing this for her. If you are in that state, nothing you do will seem genuine or powerful.
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After 5.5 years into marriage she said after months of thinking about relationship she's check out already. She ask for divorce and even though i did listened and understood she just said don't love me anymore. Reasons is for keeping my guard through the marriage, not showing and expressing my love for her. Thought by doing things around the house was a good way and was wrong. Realize I'm wrong, I love my wife very much and losing her is losing part of me. I'm working on myself but do not know what to do to get her back.
this is so helpful. finally a video about how to change and understand how she’s feeling ect. i’m not here because my girlfriend says she doesn’t love me anymore but because i can see that coming and i’m too dumb to know what to do. i always say and do the wrong thing and always try and make solutions. this is the most helpful video on youtube thank you
Thank you for this, i understand now how my partner feels when she says it. At least i have a chance with her still as she has gone overseas with our 2 kids to visit her mum. I will be joining her and our kids in a few weeks and are going to make a holiday out of it all. This is my last chance to show her and give her the right support she needs. I know it was my fault that the relationship broke down as i didn't spend enough time with her and the kids and take into account her needs of feeling safe emotionally. These 3 weeks will be a good cool off period for us all as a family and we do still talk and text msg so all hope isn't lossed. I've already admitted fault and cried my eyes out to her and the kids and apologized a lot. She and the kids wrote a list about me and it wasn't good and it made me understand what i stuffed up on in my 15 years with her and the kids and what i need to work on which is her emotionally and psychological safety.
Hi FurlouS, Am happy this video was helpful. If you’d like to learn more, you can begin by joining our masterclass here. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass At the end of this masterclass, you will also get some information on how you can submit your application for the program. And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below! Client Review Videos: ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html
He said he dosent love me and it's over. We still live under same roof. He ignores me dosent look at me, says don't touch him so I can't continue with talking as there's no touch to start conversation. It's just pure silence. Not sure how to get close enough for non verbal touch then talk or listen. He won't let down his guard at all.
The more I am showing him that I am listening and asking open ended questions the more upset it seems to be getting him. He only wants to have conversations with me about dividing our assets so that he can file for divorce. How do I create emotional safety when he doesn’t want to talk about anything other than the divorce. He has no interest in any questions other than this. The more he pushes me the more I do not react and stay super calm, but it seems to just up the ante for him. When he sees that I don’t react, he starts saying stuff like if I don’t start to talk about the divorce, then he will start bringing other women around. How do you navigate a conversation? If all they want to do is focus on saying the most hurtful things, and when you don’t react, they just keep going. he gave me a timeline that I need to give him an answer on dividing our assets. Otherwise he will start seeing other women.
After 5 years and 5 months my girlfriend says that she doesn't love me anymore and she wants nothing to do with me she broke it off over the phone and she barely even wanted to see me in person. Most of the time when women think and say they don't love you anymore it's because they thought about it and contemplated on telling you and if they take action and they voice it that means they mean it
see my problem is I can't get her to even come towards me or even talk to me how do I do that without her getting mad I'd love to have physical touch with her I'd love to get an open conversation but how do I do that?
Your video was really good. Often we found some relationship content that are very disturbful, but you were extremely pleasant and meaningful. Thanks for that. I'm dealing with and end in the relationship with my gf. She says she don't want me no more, i fucked up really bad in the past and she is still hurt for that. We tried really hard in the past but i don't think we did it the right way, somethings hasn't changed, for me and for her, some conversations were really bad. What you said about "emotional safety" makes much sense. Sometimes when she talked to me, i didn't really were a good listener, or make her feel comfortable. And she often did this aswell. I'm really willing to do the right thing now, and actually listen to her, help her heal, give her what she wanted from me, love her with my heart and respect her. Also i want that from her so we can be good together. I think you video will help me do the right thing. These last days i've been through a painfull cycle. To try to communicate, going to see her (without her consent) to try to talk, explain myself. Much of what you pointed wrong i did in the desperate of losing her. But now i'm focusing on understanding her and giving her time and love that she needs. Probably this week we'll see each other to deal with some stuff, and i'll try to talk to her, by hugging, making she feel beloved, and try to propose something that could make sense for her. I hope it goes well, it would be really bad to lose her.
After 10 years my gf broke up... and you are right!.. i have psychic problems which i have to solve first before i go into another relationship.. we slept in seperate beds because i didnt want to hurt her because of my bad night dreaming... i wasnt emotional stable because i was a people pleaser so in the first 4 years i always talked about our problems with her.. she blocked so me too.. i would have to stay stable now i have priblems to speak about problems while she openes herself.. if you are not emotional stablr you are not masculine and that is not attractive! I was sporty, i was doing homework, i have good money, but i was emotional unstable sooo masculinity is mental stability!
My girlfriend and I are taking a step back and giving each other space. She is stressed with school and work at the same time as she can barely talk in our convo since she can sleep easily after coming home. She is in japan studying and working so she is having a hard time, "She wants to work on herself so she can be better for me". We havent officially broke up and I know it might be a red flag but I have to respect her decision as I can understand how hard it is to work and study at the same time. Its been 3 weeks since we last talked to each other and Im expecting the worst to come and time will when I accept it.
I dont know if you read this, but thank you. I always tried to fix things, talk it out but my gf doesnt like to talk about these things and with this I pressured her to much and drove her away even more. Last sunday she told me that she thinks that she doesnt love me in that way anymore. I dont know if it is just the stress of the last months that made her feel that way and I dont know if there is still hope but know I have a new approach for dealing with this.
We never argued We really didn’t This was from out of left field. We talked really well, the best communication I have ever had. We talked all the time but never had any disputes
Back when my parents were young , they had countless arguments and fights, but they never refused to leave each other for the pettiest of reasons. Today's relationship crumble big time People have this high ego all the time, they refuse to communicate even the simplest of things, no text,no calls, nothing and just out of the blue they decide to not stay with you. Man they re a big headache no seriously
Thank you for your insight. What if she shows no sign at all for communication towards our marriage, we're separated for 2 months right now, she acts like I'm nobody now, like a stranger, been together 14 years married 10, 2 kids. When I try to talk about "us" she says it just drains her energy out of her.
Hey Robert -- Usually, when people say that it is tiring, or that they do not have the energy to want to fix the relationship, what they are really saying is that nothing has really changed in their perspective, and they are having a difficult time seeing a different future when perhaps you, or the situation hasn't really changed. What you need to do now is to begin turning around your paradigms and approach completely and begin working on yourself big time. Slowly, she will begin to see these changes -- and only when she really believes that these changes are real and permanent, that's when things begin to REALLY change. I know that sounds quite vague -- but let me know if I can be of further help here.
@@GeoffreySetiawan thank you for your response. I might also add that I found out that she has been messaging another man since late October, she says they're "just friends, " but I seen the messages and they are romantic in nature, not friendly. I believe it's just emotional between them, she says they've never met, but she still sees no wrong talking to another man so much before ending our marriage. Its difficult to know shed choose someone she doesn't truly know over someone who's been such a part of her life. 14 years and 2 kids together. Now I would just text her occasionally to see how she is doing and such sometimes it seems ok, other times I get ignored completely. She doesn't even text or call to say goodnight to the kids anymore.
My wife rarely start a conversation. If there is a conversation she starts its just small talks. And she doesnt like to be touched or hold. What should i do?
I'm so glad i clicked on this video because at first i didn't know about that pyramid which actually made sense because she always lies to me and never tells me her problem thus meaning i destroyed the foundation which is Emotional Safety
omfg i reacted badly too when she told me she want to broke up but then we just made up. I know that what i did was bad and i still went through it. omfg I'm so stupid. I'm really fucking sorry
My girlfriend just broke up with me a couple hours ago. She told me that her feelings has been fading since December. I did everything that i could think of so i can bring her love back but everything i do fails and it messed me up real bad. What's worse is we are still on a quarantine and that sucks because i thought our relationship was just based on seeing each other face-to-face. I want her back because I'm afraid that another man will come take her away from me.
This was quite recently. She broke up with me two days ago, and she says she just wants space but she didn’t tell me that she wanted to break up, she did say that it’s for the best that we move on and that we should work on ourselves, I am still wondering if it’s possible to get her back
Help! I've been with this man for over 4 years, we are engaged and live together with our children. He didn't say he didn't love me, but he said he doesn't feel the same because we're arguing a ton. Mostly I feel neglected by him, and I've told him how I feel. I don't want to leave the relationship please help!
Geoffrey, all 5 pillars have been broken. For 5 months shes been in a ldr with a man she met on World of Warcraft. She wont talk about him, i looked thru her phone and found it becaus ei FELT it. We still live together, she wont leave. She doesnt respect me, i wasnt helping out like i should woth our 2 kids. She doesnt trust me to open up to me. We only talk about the kids. We are miles apart but we live together. Geoffrey all of this is my own fault. I never really built a true emotional safety pillar for her. The man she met online, lives in another state. She told him she wants to takenout girls and be with him. Geoffrey I love this woman, not just because of her looks or sex. I need to be a better man because i dont ever want to push a woman that far away from me again. I own it 100%. She will NOT talk to me about him at all. She sleeps all day and stays up until 3am to play World of Warcraft with him and theyre sexting and sending videos, hes turning her on big time. Shes talking about doing things with him she never did with me. Geoffrey have you had cases like this before that were reconcilable? we are not married. She did tell me she wanted to stay for our family, about 2 weeks ago,, but nothing has changed. Im working on not reacting when i see her on the laptop playing with him. She ignores the kids, and me when shes on themphone texting him. Can you help me change?
how am i meant to physically touch her by holding her hand and creating that chemistry when she doesn’t love me and doesn’t let me touch her anymore because its intimate
Everything you said hit home for me, I’ve always been a terrible listener and I know where I was wrong, it almost like it a little too late for me, but everything you said ringed a bell, she didn’t have the emotional safety with me at all, small fights I would bring out the M80 and hit her with the biggest word bombs I could conjure up with, and she still stuck with me for 11 years, recently she told me she didn’t love me anymore and she wanted space and to move out with our daughters… I did everything you said not to do initially, tell her I loved her tell her I can change blah blah, and she told me a week ago that she hope I find someone that loves me the way I want and deserve unlike her, she says i know I wasn’t the best wife, you deserve someone better too and I hope you find someone soon so you can get over me quicker.. is that a nail in the coffin ⚰️?
Hi chewbacca flores, Glad this hit home for you. feel free to pose your more complex and difficult questions in my free FaceBook Community. facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329
Everything you talk on this video is exactly what I'm going through with my girlfriend we been together for 19 year's and in the last few years got worse
What if things are so bad, you can't start with non-verbal touch? He doesn't even barely want to be in the same room as me.. when I get close to him he says don't touch me! So idk where to start..
My girlfriend told me she doesn't like anything about me and the only reason she is with me is that she would feel guilty if she said no. I don't get it I thought I was being liked I was trying my best to be likeable
@adaml7349 I wanted to save a 22-year marriage with children. It's been three months, and I found myself again, she is a narcissist to the core and drained me of everything. The rebuilding of my life is fantastic! I love life again.
@bs6940 My mother is Asian My father met her in her country, and she tried to shoot my brother and father. Just because they act well in the beginning. it doesn't mean they are all good people. Don't buy into that fantasy so quickly. There are good and bad people everywhere and in all walks of life. My father made plenty of money, and she had everything.
I've discussed this in SO MANY of my videos and interviews, so what I am about to say below is SOME of it, but not all. So much more I can say... When I was in this position, I said to myself - If my wife finds someone better than me, GOOD! I want her to be happy. So instead of forcing my wife to stay with me, knowing that I wasn't part of that 1%... I asked myself - How can I become the 1%, faster and better than she can find anywhere else? P.S. Just like I say in many of my videos, being the 1% is not just about money, but everything. (Spiritually, emotionally, etc...) Like I always say, real high-value men aren't afraid to give their partner choices/freedom, because they know that they will choose them. Only men of low value are afraid. If you are afraid, you need to be honest with yourself and ask yourself... 1) Am I really that high value? 2) Do I REALLY care about her happiness? 3) If I don't believe in my own value, why should I expect her to? 4) If I am coming from such a selfish place, why should I expect her to spend her one and only life with me and never look elsewhere? 5) If I really think that my partner is such a wild animal that if given freedom, she will abandon all morals and betray people, then why is it mystery that she never felt safe and wants to get out if that's how lowly you think of her? I mean, would YOU want to stay with someone who thinks so lowly of you? 6) If you PULL and FORCE her to stay, do you really think you can sleep soundly at night? Do you not realize that the threat of other men will ALWAYS be there? Do you not realize that the ONLY way to true security is to become the 1%? Think about it. Remember - Give people enough freedom so they CAN leave, but treat them well enough so they won't want to.
Great tips Geoffrey - I'm new to your channel and found the 'Relationship Pyramid' concept really interesting. It made a lot of sense! Your videos are really good. Thank you for sharing
What if your wife abuses you emotionally, then accuses you of abusing her emotionally, then says she doesn’t love you and needs time to fall in love again?
So what do I do when she has me blocked on everything and is currently with her parents. I try calling her no caller I’d at first she would never pick up but now picks up every so often. Lately she has picked up but now nothing.
You mentioned that while trying to rebuild the love, don’t call or text or chat. But what if that’s all you have as a means of communication?? What then do you do?
Hi Falk, you have to appeal to emotions which cannot happen via texting. Join the free master class and you can learn how to communicate in a different way and appeal directly to emotions and turn things around.
what if you know what the issue is? Ive been with my Girlfriend for 4 years and we have a 16 month old. last friday she kicked me out because she doesnt feel safe or secure with me. She said I dont help out enough around the house and that she feels like shes raising 2 kids. I go to work i pay the bills and i provide but she wants more than that. how can I show her i can be the man she needs in her life when i no longer live in my home with my family
What If she’s saying she is completely done and doesn’t want to talk at all etc? We’re sorting out flat out, and once that’s done and dusted I feel like she’s just going to block me, I’ve sent paragraph after paragraph what we can do and said I understand why and what happened and she’s just saying she don’t care and it’s too late etc. When do I admit defeat to this?
I feel fear about beginning this conversation because it will surface all the "negatives" making her reflect and feel worse about our relationship... any advice?
How would you go about this if they moved out a week ago & don’t want to text/ talk to you? Great advice I really appreciate just don’t know how to reach out to here in these times.
my wife cheated on me for seven months. I found out by catching her red handed sending pics to the other guy. she has seen him even though I have known she says she doesn't care any more. she says she doesn't love me any more. the reason I finally found out was because I'm epileptic and in my sleep I do something similar to sleep walking but its called sexsomnia. I attack her in her sleep. I don't recall any of these events like I don't when I go into a seizure. she has stayed at his house and told mesh was going didn't care. she wants to run off to him every chance she gets. we have been married for 13 years and I love her dearly. but se won't let go of him. I'm currently in the process of moving out. any ideas.
What about weird scenarios though. Like long distance in the Military? Im currently getting ready to seperate from the military in less than 2 weeks. I don't have a choice, but to call and text. We've beeen apart for a little over 7 months now because she moved home early to secure a job and all of that!. Then 2 weeks from me about to be home she says shes just not happy, and wants a divorce. What am I supposed to do then? I want to hear her out and do all of these things. Do you think things will just be different when I'm home again? I have realized that i was trying really hard and basically making it my responsibility to ensure she was happy after the move, because I felt like I had pulled her from her family and all that to begin with. I realize now she made that decision because she saw something in me, and saw us being happy. However, it seems like the more I tried to make sure she was happy the more unhappy she was and the more resentment I started gaining resentment for myself because I decided it was my responsibility. I see now that I actually never needed to try. Not to say i didnt care, and that I plan on giving up. I just never needed to try to be "perfect". I basically changed the blueprint that I already had that made her happy and to fall in love with me to begin with! I changed myself from trying too hard! I realize I dont have to try to change anymore. I don't have to "Try" for anything anymore. Just being me is good enough and always has been. I'm excited about finally being home, and now I can properly prioritize all of OUR wants and needs. It's going to be the best scenario our marriage has ever been in as far as our individual happiness. I just don't understand why she doesn't want to give one last go with positive expectation right now with such a huge positive life change for BOTH sides about to happen. I realize now I can help her, and be apart of her happiness. I can't MAKE her happy though! I don't need to try, I just need to be myself and be happy and enjoy doing things for and with her again. How do I know if it's actually too late though?
Thank you for this video. We have been in a loving relationship for 2 years, and she broke up recently. She’s far away on a cruiseship and Im in the city where we met. We had a conversation, and she opened up on all the things that she was missing in the relationship and that I didnt provide (such as a sense of protection and understanding). I recognize now that its over, how I acted and what I missed all this time. She thinks I am not the right partner for her to go the next step and move in together. We parted in loving ways and she said she will keep all the good memories we experienced. Is there anything I can do to attract her back and show her that I can be that partner she is longing for? Thanks for all advice, its been a difficult time rn..
I agree with everything you have said but what if the person broke up with you because they lost feelings. Should you still reach out to them or maintain no contact and give them space? What if you can't talk to them because you are apart right now?
I have the same problem with my fiancée, she keeps ignoring me and she say she want space . She dosnt want to talk to me about anything and it really hard because I want to listen to her but she is not letting me
She doesn't talk too me and greet me like always like before... And now she says she doesn't love me anymore... And don't force her too faking her love for me what should I do..I'm crying like mad.. like a cry baby right now hurt so bad
Some great advice . Especially over the no contact rule.. some people might be able to do no contact. And be strong .. but for me , I can't .. I just go crazy in between the days of no contact and make a fool of myself .. I have to show her I am strong and confident. But staying away , breaks my spirit !
She told me she doesn’t love me anymore and no matter what I did the outcome is still going to b the same. She has decided to leave me. How? Appreciate ur advice 😢
I like your vids, but not every relationship can be fixed... really... Distance, age, cultural differences can definitely come into play; especially in my case. We didn't argue/fight in 5 years, every day together was amazing. She lives in Finland (Finnish) and I am in the USA. I usually live overseas, but when COVID happened, we couldn't see each other in 1.6 years. When we finally went to see each other, it was AMAZING! Three weeks later she texted me telling me she can't continue the relationship. While she didn't explain why, she told me a few things: 1) During COVID she lost connection with me and she learned to love herself and be independent without anyone in her life. 2) She thinks I am too old to have kids (bc we have a huge age difference, but she never wanted kids and now she does - which I am ok with) 3) She feels like she hasn't;t accomplished ANYTHING in her life by herself, bc I always help her (bc I am a professional in our dance industry and have helped open doors for her). She broke up in Nov and haven't contacted me since. All of our friends are the same and NONE of them understand what happened (we were a poster couple in our dance industry and partners that traveled the world together). She unfriended me on all social media and I haven't heard from her since. The sad thing is, I was going to propose two weeks after she broke up; she picked the ring out and we have an apt in Finland together. I filed for my visa ro move to Finland full time. My whole life has been uprooted and I have NO ANSWERS at all. I've been in no contact for 3 months and nothing. She went from completely intimate and loving in Sept, no gone in Nov with no answers. She just says she wants to be independent and succeed by herself with no man or partner in her life. I treated her like a princess, really! Like I said, we never fought in 5 years. I don't think anything I can do with affect her decision! I want her back so bad... and I am taking this time to move forward and concentrate on me, but there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of her. I don't know if I did anything wrong, bc she never said anything bad or wanted me to change. She simple said, COVID distance destroyed us. I'm lost and have been to many counselors, they all say this: move forward without her. The sad thing is, we are in the same community and I might have to see her with another man (which is common in the dance world, and is not normal in other areas of life). Some people drop out of the profession because it's too painful. Meeting women is not an issues for a dance pro, but I know she is the one... the one I want to marry! :( So again, I don't think all relationships are fixable..esp when you are 6,000miles apart. :( Anyways, love your content!
Hi TheTrailDancer, I appreciate your opinion. And yeah maybe that has crossed my mind once or twice in the past. But having worked with thousands of clients and seeing just how much couples can go through together and seeing that all of the issues that you mentioned can be faced together and as a team instead of separately, yeah wow. This showed me that there is not issue to great not to go through together. Feel free to check some out for yourself. ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html
@@GeoffreySetiawan Thanks for your reply... I wish more than anything my relationship can be saved, but I am losing faith daily. We have the same friends and they are telling me to move on and don't think of getting her back. Finnish women are super stubborn and independent. I just wish I know why. We went from bring apart during COVID for 1.6 years, to reuniting perfectly, to her leaving me three weeks after with no explanation other than her saying that she learned to love herself as a women and wants to feel like she is accomplishing her goals without my or any other man in her life. Also, we have a 20 year age difference (common in the dance community) and I think having kids are now very important to her and may think I'm too old (just guessing). 20,000 people around the world know our relationship and nobody saw this coming and nobody understands what the hell happened; me most of all. I miss her and want to put that ring on her finger and get back to the perfect relationship I thought we had... but I just want to talk to her and understand her and what happened, what changed... She said there is no other guy, but I just can't believe that, bc we never fought in 5 years... we did everything together and it was magical! :( I have NO CLUE!!!! Meeting girls as a top dance pro is easy, sex is easy; but having a girl you love to come home to, share your life with is priceless! :( Only a dream!
Hey guys! Thanks for watching and I hope that was helpful. Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited)
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She's home,,, now what? Lol
How can I apply some of the teachings here on a long distance relationship? I have been in a long distance relationship for 4 years. We have a 2 year old daughter. We planned to start living together this year, but COVID19 has delayed everything. It is difficult to communicate over the phone.
Hi there.. i realy have a problem like this with my wife and i realy wana win her heart back.. what shoul i do! Will i wait her untill shes cooling down. Or shiuld i talk to her. I realy dont know what to do
hey @geoffrey this is a very nice advice that i could use, however, we havent seen each other personally since march and we broke up in july. i don't know when we could meet up in person. would it be fine to wait until then? it has been a month since we broke up and i'm really scared that she might go farther away or find someone else. hope you will respond, thank you.
@Geoffrey Setiawan Been watching your videos for a little while now. Currently something going on with my relationship and yes everything in the relationship pyramid occurred for her to say she’s no longer in love with me. We talked about everything and she told me she trusts me She told me how she feels but another thing she said she’s no longer bothered no more. She just needs time to herself for think. What do I do at this point and is there anything I can do. She’s okay with having contact and texting and hanging out. But what do I do at this point. Please and thank you.!
What I appreciate about you Geoffrey is that you don’t say “give up walk away” like I’ve been hearing daily .. it’s not that easy. I know what love is ! My wife of 17 yrs was killed by a texting teenage driver .. 2013. I loved her. Now I have a partner that we share so much love.
I became needy and supplication ran amok.. she asked me for time and I made every mistake possible but I have yet to feel any anger towards her. I am working on me and feel positive about a reconciliation. You are the first to say positive solutions are possible !
I cannot thank you enough.
I love all your positive comments -- really inspires me as well :)
Hello
,.,.,.,.,I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,.,.,.,.,.
You really are ahead of your time brother, just sayin!
You loved your wife yet you replaced her, nice
April 9, 2022: We have been together for more than 2 years. And today she told me she doesn't feel the same way about me like she used to. And she really meant it. I can feel it in her voice.
Thank You for the video.. Will be back here after 1 week.
Edit: April 10, 2022: Just one day later, I went to her house, we began to talk and I confess her all out. And said I will grow myself mentally, and acted likewise.. We both almost burst into tears.. Now I can say we both are happy, cause I can feel her more closely...
Thank You
Can we get an update please
I have the same situation bro.... I hope it work also for me
I have the same situation and we're on long distance right now. I hope this will work for me
@@seafarerslog89did it work for yoy
Emotional baggage destroys: emotional, psychological safety. Admiration,
Heal emotional baggage
1. Let her express herself
2. Understand the problem
How to open up
1. Start non verbally
2. open ended questions
3. Repeat paraphrase clarify
Solutions
1. Never force a conversation
2. Focus on zero arguments
3. In person please.
I really like this guy ,,, probably the best coach on UA-cam.
Honored to hear that Eric! :)
Facts!
I think so, too!! Amazing depth..
Wait until you join his program, holy shit. Life changing.
@@GeoffreySetiawan.i just entered a relationship and she stopped talking to me..she said i do lots of wrong things ..pls what shud i do.
I went to college to be a game designer, and took classes to think systemically when it comes to fixing video games.
What I love about this channel is that the advice is systemic, it's not looking at little short term bandages and tactics to make things work again for a little while. It's not looking at ways to cling to power, hurt your partner, and make them feel small. It's trying to curry mutual trust, safety, and understanding through hard work, vulnerability, and effort. It accepts, unlike all the common notions, that living with someone else is hard, and there's no substitute to that work. The review between videos makes the core concept very clear in understanding how it is the underlying problem no matter what the surface level issue is.
This dude is smart for real... he actually offers a plan and a system based upon the criteria of the situation... pay attention folks
Everybody says - move on. I can't move on, I can't move on again. Thanks for giving me hope, I was ready to do physical harm to myself, anything to get my mind off the loss of my fiance.
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Same boat my friend
Im extremely thankful for the time you have taken to make all these videos. My wife is not in love with me and she doesnt know if she can regain love for me again. Im trying to watch and apply these lessons so i can save my bond with my wife. Thank you geoffrey
I am in the exact situation you are as well. It hurts and I want to save my marriage 💔
@@bearbrewer8517 im two months in and things are far from clear. I have my wifes friendship but not romantic love. Stay strong brother and try to find the best self you can and work on that. Good luck
@@variable7833 Hello… wondering how things are three months later? Any better?
@@variable7833 are things better bro?
@@ApeRiderr she pretended her male coworker was a just a friend untill he was just pas it. And them i fond out he is a registered six child offeri. And i got 12 a 15 and 21 yp. Im still mad lovely guys im bein honest. I miss have the godd/best friend as my wife shes a hunk of ahit to and since I mahe chowe to ive a man like that with our two ramining in that house.... im not goijg bavk. Those POSs dewerve each other otltge.r othrr i always like to help people all lif2e crPpy journeys so if any dude just a guy to talk with we could figure sonethi. Hipe tall are doing better than me.
She is being too difficult,she isn’t listening and she just doesn’t care anymore.What do I do? I don’t want to lose her
Hi Tarek Ahmed,
Have you joined my free 90 min master class to see how so many of my clients have had success in restore hope in their relationships once again?
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
She genuinely does not have hope anymore,she does not care about me at all and she thinks she can do whatever she wants.She never reassured me,she always puts me down,she does not support me at all.But at the same time she does not break up with me.She has a few times but I’ve always pulled her closer.
@@tarekahmed7165 sounds toxic brother! Don't try too hard for anyone who isn't willing to put in the same effort
@@Jeeplee_rc your right about this i had the same issue and had to realize to let go of her bc she alr did with me
@tarekahmed7165 could be her giving you alot sht test and to see I your a mountain. Stay on your path I say.
I'm really not the kind of guy to ever look at this kind of content... But this was really good and I needed this. Thank you
Just found your channel. I’m female and I would like to thank you: I feel completely understood. Wishing my bf would listen to your tips...
That's awesome! Thank you for your kind words!
Hello.
,.,.,.I know of a man who can help you out now,.,,..,
Hard to do in person when living 3000 miles apart..any idea?
Thank you so much. My fiancé told me 3 days ago that she didn’t love me anymore and that she didn’t know why, but she’s willing to try and resolve it. The next day I found this video and implemented the way you advised to question. Had results already, after just two days of asking. Obviously not resolved just like that, but you’ve given me hope and for that I thank you and have signed up for the 5 step program on Tuesday.
Love it! Don't stop there. Keep it going.
@@GeoffreySetiawan I’ve just took part in the 5 step masterclass, took notes and will work on them. I couldn’t afford the program unfortunately but I feel more confident and I’m a very open person when it comes to looking within and making positive change. I will persist in what you’ve taught me so far and will continue to watch your UA-cam videos for a deeper insight. It’s the best I can do at present. Thanks again
I heard these gut wrenching words and that was the end for me. I went into depression for a week because I was trying but she kept rejecting me as if she was satisfied with my pain. At the same time she was telling me she doesnt want me to leave and she loved me. She was back and fourth wi th her emotions. I got confused and just moved out after a week. I went to work and never came back home. Once a women says that it's over....dont try to fix it. It will only be an ego booster. You will only get pity from her afterwards
Maaaan this is what I need right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I tried saying to my wife if we don't respect each other our relationship will not work and she blew up because divorce and leaving is what I tried calling her bluff before which was in the first stages of our marriage. Been together for 27 years and married for 15 now and I cannot let her go.
This is the best channel for relationships period.
Thanks man! Appreciate it.🙂
My girlfriend told me she didn't feel the same way anymore, she's been really depressed and telling me she's extremely unhappy, with her physical appearance along with school and being stressed from overworking herself, but she tells me there's nothing I can do to make her feel better because I am not the problem. I came here because she said she wanted to wait until winter was over to see if she's just feeling this way because she's depressed, and she gets worse during the winter. I'm trying whatever I can, we've been on and off for Five years, and I've always been the one who broke up with her, im 17 so i was really young and stupid and i really regret what i did. (i never cheated or anything, just broke her heart too many times.) but im trying to make up for it all and trying my best to show her she can trust me now, even if it takes a long time i want to build her trust back no matter what, and make her fall in love with me again.
Hello
Hello ..
,.,.,.,I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,.,.,.,.
@@godstimejude6902 will you respond to his message?
My girlfriend told me she doesn't like anything about me and the only reason she is with me is that she would feel guilty if she said no. I don't get it I thought I was being liked I was trying my best to be likeable
I searched for it right after my GF said the same thing to me, This is gold bro, now i can understand it, thx for this
@johnwilliam902 let me guess Alex Bert
My wife says she doesn’t love me any more, and doesn’t want to try because she doesn’t think it will change. I still love her and want to keep my family together.
Same here. They all the same. She told me I have another guy and I love him more then I loved you. Move on nothing there to do. Done!
@@alienbox440 wow women really have no heart
My wife told me she didn't love me anymore. I found there were a few things that I had done that made her feel unwanted. She also found there were a few things she perceived differently than what they were. I am not working on being a better husband and showing her through conditional love that I am here for her when she needs it. 2 weeks without arguing. Things seem to be getting better.
I do agree with others. Geoffrey you are a great coach.
Thankyou, I'm going to try these ways of talking to her and listening, not because I want her to take me back but because I want her to know I'm not the crappy person she thinks I am.
She's just had our first child 3 months ago, I need to fix this what I broke.
Stress of being a dad and having to live so far from them for work I struggled to cope with that.
Tell me what happened next💔
Thank you Gregory you have renewed my hope. I came across your videos and its the best coaching video I've ever listened too and it did open my eyes.
Wife said she doesn’t love me anymore and doesn’t want to try to save marriage, we haven’t been intimate for many years , I can’t even touch her , it’s like I have a disease, we have had arguments over the years, she laughed at me and said I can’t believe you haven’t seen this coming for a while,she said I have been there for her emotional support over the years. please help me save my marriage I love my wife dearly going on 30 years
No point forcing her to love you. It’s hard man but walk away if you’ve tried. You can’t force her to try
So I've been with her for about 4 years and I she's been drifting away I would say, so I asked her if she still loved me, she asked why, I told her that she hasn't been acting like it and she said she doesn't think so, it really hurts but I'm trying my best to stay positive we are still together and we are on good terms, it just that she probably doesn't feel anything for me anymore
Hi, this video will be perfect to understanding why your partner is pulling away and what to do about it.
ua-cam.com/video/LK0gJ7oFciE/v-deo.html
Seriously how does this guy know all these...its amazing how he hits the nail on the head
Hey Ly,
Thank you brother! Happy this video was insightful for you. I and all my clients have implemented all these principles to build a thriving relationship.
If you’d like to learn more about it, you can begin by joining our free masterclass here.
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
At the end of this masterclass, you will also get some information on how you can submit your application for the program.
And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below!
Client Review Videos:
ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html
Client Review Screenshots:
drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Gp8UpRV9uMlFx763BfuQnEqN930FQb7b?usp=sharing
I’m being tested man, I just failed a huge one today. He said I’m slipping back to how I used to be, that he can see the changes when they’re there but atm I was my old self. I didn’t even SEE it until he pointed it put 😱 Everything’s playing out the same as in Geoffry’s videos I can’t wait to be able to afford this program. He even said I should forget about wanting to like him again because its affecting me negatively and hindering my progress… 😢
The best ever advice so far that is inspiring and enlightening to me. It gives me strength to continue making positive changes with my wife
@@christopheraldrich7773 yes I do for sure. What do you have in mind?
Hello
,.,.,.I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,.,.,.
How did it go?
Maaan I needed this right now. i'm going through this right now my wife said this last week because I said without respect our relationship will not work and I do not if I can do this anymore which was a HUUUGE mistake!!!!
y is your approach so different!
I love you bro!
you are touching everything i needed to hear!
My wife walked out two months ago and says she isn’t in love with me anymore, isn’t attracted to me and hasn’t been for a very long time. We’ve been together 13 years. We can go to dinner together or take our kids shopping but I don’t know how to get my wife to have feelings for me again. She refuses to try and says she has no interest in being married to me anymore. Is it hopeless?
Actually just got out of a 2 year long distance relationship. she said she doesn’t feel anything for me anymore. The problem was that she didn’t express things that bothered her about me and I didn’t know about them until she tried breaking up with me. I asked her to try again and she agreed but she was cold to me after that. I was trying to be more present and talk to her more but she acted like she was annoyed with my existence. This lasted a week until I asked her how she feels “about us” before she went to sleep. She said “I don’t feel anything tbh. I’m going to sleep goodnight.” I felt like an idiot for even trying and told her “we are done, take care of yourself.”
This is the second video of you that I've watched. Thank you so much for all the information and advices. I haven't checked yet but do you have a version of this for LDR relationship? Thank you again!
It's been 3 years since we are married. During these years I realy cared and loved her in every aspect. We were happy. But suddenly one morning she was gone. I called her. She said that she was with her parents. I went there to take her. She said she won't come back. I asked for the reason. She kept quiet. I didn't asked for any explanation anymore. Believing she would be back if I give her space. Times went by. It's been 27 days, almost a month she has not come. No text, no calls...Giving Space Doesn't Work
Well I asked the right questions, she's been avoiding telling me the truth. I was told today that she no longer is in love with me. I didn't react I took it calmly and I asked her what made her feel this way. I'm currently a 1000 miles away. I'm in military training and it's hard to do this over the phone.
A lot to work with in this VDO, thanks Geoffrey ! One of the key things in love and friend relationship is communication !
She left me a few weeks ago and tells me, she doesnt even think about our problems anymore, is numb towards me and even tells me, that she feels better without me... Andy solutions?
I had/have a partner that hates when I ask how she’s feeling? She doesn’t speak about her problems but just acts in them
My ex and me broke up about 3 months ago. We’ve had problems due to my depression, lack of physical affection and being separate with this quarantine it finally blew up. It’s been so difficult since because I love her. Always feeling the pain everyday. But it seems like she moved on so easily. She’s being more productive and seems happier. And I try to be productive as well and work out too. Work on my insecurities and flaws. But sometimes it feels like it’s for nothing when I know she’s not by my side. It hurts like hell. I’m really stuck in a funk. Your videos do help I appreciate it a lot. I’m just trying and it’s so difficult.
Eddie -- I have a video in about 2 weeks that answers this question for you. The problem here is that you're doing this for her. If you are in that state, nothing you do will seem genuine or powerful.
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@@elenaantonio7110 hello
@@elenaantonio7110 ,.,.,.,.I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,.,.,.,
When she doesn’t tell u what she wants it makes it harder
Currently stuck in this situation 😢. I hope this helps 😅. Thank you so much for the advice 😊
City boy summer coming up g
After 5.5 years into marriage she said after months of thinking about relationship she's check out already. She ask for divorce and even though i did listened and understood she just said don't love me anymore. Reasons is for keeping my guard through the marriage, not showing and expressing my love for her. Thought by doing things around the house was a good way and was wrong. Realize I'm wrong, I love my wife very much and losing her is losing part of me. I'm working on myself but do not know what to do to get her back.
I've tried so hard for so long
She has so many people in her ear telling her I'm not good enough
this is so helpful. finally a video about how to change and understand how she’s feeling ect. i’m not here because my girlfriend says she doesn’t love me anymore but because i can see that coming and i’m too dumb to know what to do. i always say and do the wrong thing and always try and make solutions. this is the most helpful video on youtube thank you
Awesome and thank you so much for the kind words! Made my day!
Hello
,.,.,.,.I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,.,.,.
,.,.,.,.I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,.,.,.
@@godstimejude6902 who
When you partner says i dont love you anymore. Leave. The hurt isnt worth. Find love within
Thank you.
I only hope there's still time.
I pray there is still time for you. I know how this feels as it is my current situation.
Hello..
,.,.,.I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,,.,.,
I'm going through this now
Thank you for this, i understand now how my partner feels when she says it. At least i have a chance with her still as she has gone overseas with our 2 kids to visit her mum. I will be joining her and our kids in a few weeks and are going to make a holiday out of it all. This is my last chance to show her and give her the right support she needs. I know it was my fault that the relationship broke down as i didn't spend enough time with her and the kids and take into account her needs of feeling safe emotionally.
These 3 weeks will be a good cool off period for us all as a family and we do still talk and text msg so all hope isn't lossed. I've already admitted fault and cried my eyes out to her and the kids and apologized a lot. She and the kids wrote a list about me and it wasn't good and it made me understand what i stuffed up on in my 15 years with her and the kids and what i need to work on which is her emotionally and psychological safety.
Hi FurlouS,
Am happy this video was helpful. If you’d like to learn more, you can begin by joining our masterclass here.
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
At the end of this masterclass, you will also get some information on how you can submit your application for the program.
And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below!
Client Review Videos:
ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html
How it went you still with her?
He said he dosent love me and it's over.
We still live under same roof. He ignores me dosent look at me, says don't touch him so I can't continue with talking as there's no touch to start conversation. It's just pure silence. Not sure how to get close enough for non verbal touch then talk or listen. He won't let down his guard at all.
The more I am showing him that I am listening and asking open ended questions the more upset it seems to be getting him. He only wants to have conversations with me about dividing our assets so that he can file for divorce. How do I create emotional safety when he doesn’t want to talk about anything other than the divorce. He has no interest in any questions other than this. The more he pushes me the more I do not react and stay super calm, but it seems to just up the ante for him. When he sees that I don’t react, he starts saying stuff like if I don’t start to talk about the divorce, then he will start bringing other women around. How do you navigate a conversation? If all they want to do is focus on saying the most hurtful things, and when you don’t react, they just keep going. he gave me a timeline that I need to give him an answer on dividing our assets. Otherwise he will start seeing other women.
After 5 years and 5 months my girlfriend says that she doesn't love me anymore and she wants nothing to do with me she broke it off over the phone and she barely even wanted to see me in person. Most of the time when women think and say they don't love you anymore it's because they thought about it and contemplated on telling you and if they take action and they voice it that means they mean it
see my problem is I can't get her to even come towards me or even talk to me how do I do that without her getting mad I'd love to have physical touch with her I'd love to get an open conversation but how do I do that?
Your video was really good. Often we found some relationship content that are very disturbful, but you were extremely pleasant and meaningful. Thanks for that.
I'm dealing with and end in the relationship with my gf. She says she don't want me no more, i fucked up really bad in the past and she is still hurt for that. We tried really hard in the past but i don't think we did it the right way, somethings hasn't changed, for me and for her, some conversations were really bad.
What you said about "emotional safety" makes much sense. Sometimes when she talked to me, i didn't really were a good listener, or make her feel comfortable. And she often did this aswell.
I'm really willing to do the right thing now, and actually listen to her, help her heal, give her what she wanted from me, love her with my heart and respect her. Also i want that from her so we can be good together.
I think you video will help me do the right thing.
These last days i've been through a painfull cycle. To try to communicate, going to see her (without her consent) to try to talk, explain myself. Much of what you pointed wrong i did in the desperate of losing her.
But now i'm focusing on understanding her and giving her time and love that she needs. Probably this week we'll see each other to deal with some stuff, and i'll try to talk to her, by hugging, making she feel beloved, and try to propose something that could make sense for her.
I hope it goes well, it would be really bad to lose her.
Her guard is really really high, it seems impossible to talk to her without getting punched. But i understand her side, and i'll try to help
After 10 years my gf broke up... and you are right!.. i have psychic problems which i have to solve first before i go into another relationship.. we slept in seperate beds because i didnt want to hurt her because of my bad night dreaming... i wasnt emotional stable because i was a people pleaser so in the first 4 years i always talked about our problems with her.. she blocked so me too.. i would have to stay stable now i have priblems to speak about problems while she openes herself.. if you are not emotional stablr you are not masculine and that is not attractive! I was sporty, i was doing homework, i have good money, but i was emotional unstable sooo masculinity is mental stability!
My girlfriend and I are taking a step back and giving each other space. She is stressed with school and work at the same time as she can barely talk in our convo since she can sleep easily after coming home. She is in japan studying and working so she is having a hard time, "She wants to work on herself so she can be better for me". We havent officially broke up and I know it might be a red flag but I have to respect her decision as I can understand how hard it is to work and study at the same time. Its been 3 weeks since we last talked to each other and Im expecting the worst to come and time will when I accept it.
what happened with you two?
I dont know if you read this, but thank you. I always tried to fix things, talk it out but my gf doesnt like to talk about these things and with this I pressured her to much and drove her away even more. Last sunday she told me that she thinks that she doesnt love me in that way anymore.
I dont know if it is just the stress of the last months that made her feel that way and I dont know if there is still hope but know I have a new approach for dealing with this.
We never argued We really didn’t This was from out of left field. We talked really well, the best communication I have ever had. We talked all the time but never had any disputes
Back when my parents were young , they had countless arguments and fights, but they never refused to leave each other for the pettiest of reasons.
Today's relationship crumble big time
People have this high ego all the time, they refuse to communicate even the simplest of things, no text,no calls, nothing and just out of the blue they decide to not stay with you.
Man they re a big headache
no seriously
Thank you for your insight. What if she shows no sign at all for communication towards our marriage, we're separated for 2 months right now, she acts like I'm nobody now, like a stranger, been together 14 years married 10, 2 kids. When I try to talk about "us" she says it just drains her energy out of her.
Hey Robert -- Usually, when people say that it is tiring, or that they do not have the energy to want to fix the relationship, what they are really saying is that nothing has really changed in their perspective, and they are having a difficult time seeing a different future when perhaps you, or the situation hasn't really changed. What you need to do now is to begin turning around your paradigms and approach completely and begin working on yourself big time. Slowly, she will begin to see these changes -- and only when she really believes that these changes are real and permanent, that's when things begin to REALLY change. I know that sounds quite vague -- but let me know if I can be of further help here.
@@GeoffreySetiawan thank you for your response. I might also add that I found out that she has been messaging another man since late October, she says they're "just friends, " but I seen the messages and they are romantic in nature, not friendly. I believe it's just emotional between them, she says they've never met, but she still sees no wrong talking to another man so much before ending our marriage. Its difficult to know shed choose someone she doesn't truly know over someone who's been such a part of her life. 14 years and 2 kids together. Now I would just text her occasionally to see how she is doing and such sometimes it seems ok, other times I get ignored completely. She doesn't even text or call to say goodnight to the kids anymore.
@@robertpayne7639 It is definitely difficult! Let me know how I can help :)
Hello
,.,.,.,.I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,.,.,.
My wife rarely start a conversation. If there is a conversation she starts its just small talks. And she doesnt like to be touched or hold. What should i do?
I'm so glad i clicked on this video because at first i didn't know about that pyramid which actually made sense because she always lies to me and never tells me her problem thus meaning i destroyed the foundation which is Emotional Safety
omfg i reacted badly too when she told me she want to broke up but then we just made up. I know that what i did was bad and i still went through it. omfg I'm so stupid. I'm really fucking sorry
My girlfriend just broke up with me a couple hours ago. She told me that her feelings has been fading since December. I did everything that i could think of so i can bring her love back but everything i do fails and it messed me up real bad. What's worse is we are still on a quarantine and that sucks because i thought our relationship was just based on seeing each other face-to-face. I want her back because I'm afraid that another man will come take her away from me.
Hello
,.,.,.I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,,.,.,,..
this is the reason why we broke up. just want to ask a question, what if she is not ready to talk to me yet?
This was quite recently. She broke up with me two days ago, and she says she just wants space but she didn’t tell me that she wanted to break up, she did say that it’s for the best that we move on and that we should work on ourselves, I am still wondering if it’s possible to get her back
Help! I've been with this man for over 4 years, we are engaged and live together with our children. He didn't say he didn't love me, but he said he doesn't feel the same because we're arguing a ton. Mostly I feel neglected by him, and I've told him how I feel. I don't want to leave the relationship please help!
Hi Vaneza Figueroa,
Start here to learn how this loss of safety slowly and gradually begins to break down.
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
After 8 yrs of marriage she thinks we are two different people. Now she wants divorce. Is there any solution for this?
How do you do the first step in a long distance relationship? If you cannot touch them how do you loosen them up?
Geoffrey, all 5 pillars have been broken. For 5 months shes been in a ldr with a man she met on World of Warcraft. She wont talk about him, i looked thru her phone and found it becaus ei FELT it. We still live together, she wont leave. She doesnt respect me, i wasnt helping out like i should woth our 2 kids. She doesnt trust me to open up to me. We only talk about the kids. We are miles apart but we live together. Geoffrey all of this is my own fault. I never really built a true emotional safety pillar for her. The man she met online, lives in another state. She told him she wants to takenout girls and be with him. Geoffrey I love this woman, not just because of her looks or sex. I need to be a better man because i dont ever want to push a woman that far away from me again. I own it 100%. She will NOT talk to me about him at all. She sleeps all day and stays up until 3am to play World of Warcraft with him and theyre sexting and sending videos, hes turning her on big time. Shes talking about doing things with him she never did with me. Geoffrey have you had cases like this before that were reconcilable? we are not married. She did tell me she wanted to stay for our family, about 2 weeks ago,, but nothing has changed. Im working on not reacting when i see her on the laptop playing with him. She ignores the kids, and me when shes on themphone texting him. Can you help me change?
What if she doesn’t wanna speak up about it what do I do then just wait until she’s ready?
I agree. It goes both ways. They left maybe for a reason. If they come back maybe we can talk. Gods plan
Hello
,.,,..I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,,.,.,.
how am i meant to physically touch her by holding her hand and creating that chemistry when she doesn’t love me and doesn’t let me touch her anymore because its intimate
Everything you said hit home for me, I’ve always been a terrible listener and I know where I was wrong, it almost like it a little too late for me, but everything you said ringed a bell, she didn’t have the emotional safety with me at all, small fights I would bring out the M80 and hit her with the biggest word bombs I could conjure up with, and she still stuck with me for 11 years, recently she told me she didn’t love me anymore and she wanted space and to move out with our daughters… I did everything you said not to do initially, tell her I loved her tell her I can change blah blah, and she told me a week ago that she hope I find someone that loves me the way I want and deserve unlike her, she says i know I wasn’t the best wife, you deserve someone better too and I hope you find someone soon so you can get over me quicker.. is that a nail in the coffin ⚰️?
Hi chewbacca flores,
Glad this hit home for you. feel free to pose your more complex and difficult questions in my free FaceBook Community.
facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329
@@GeoffreySetiawanthis link isn't working , can you tell me where to talk with you
Everything you talk on this video is exactly what I'm going through with my girlfriend we been together for 19 year's and in the last few years got worse
You can learn to turn things around by changing the way you communicate and interact. Join the free master class and see the steps needed.
What if things are so bad, you can't start with non-verbal touch? He doesn't even barely want to be in the same room as me.. when I get close to him he says don't touch me! So idk where to start..
But how can I do that in person when we're a long distance relationship 😟
My girlfriend told me she doesn't like anything about me and the only reason she is with me is that she would feel guilty if she said no. I don't get it I thought I was being liked I was trying my best to be likeable
Hi Geoff! Great video! What if your partner is in a different city and it is not possible to have in person interactions for months on end?
What if she is cheating and spending all her time with someone else. Should I really bother or move out like I did?
She’s for the streets
@adaml7349 I wanted to save a 22-year marriage with children. It's been three months, and I found myself again, she is a narcissist to the core and drained me of everything. The rebuilding of my life is fantastic! I love life again.
If or when the kids are grown get yourself down to the Philippines or Thailand and get you a real women brother!
@bs6940 My mother is Asian My father met her in her country, and she tried to shoot my brother and father. Just because they act well in the beginning. it doesn't mean they are all good people. Don't buy into that fantasy so quickly.
There are good and bad people everywhere and in all walks of life.
My father made plenty of money, and she had everything.
What do you do if she has already met someone who is making her happy and making her emotionally safe
I've discussed this in SO MANY of my videos and interviews, so what I am about to say below is SOME of it, but not all. So much more I can say...
When I was in this position, I said to myself - If my wife finds someone better than me, GOOD! I want her to be happy.
So instead of forcing my wife to stay with me, knowing that I wasn't part of that 1%...
I asked myself - How can I become the 1%, faster and better than she can find anywhere else?
P.S. Just like I say in many of my videos, being the 1% is not just about money, but everything. (Spiritually, emotionally, etc...)
Like I always say, real high-value men aren't afraid to give their partner choices/freedom, because they know that they will choose them.
Only men of low value are afraid. If you are afraid, you need to be honest with yourself and ask yourself...
1) Am I really that high value?
2) Do I REALLY care about her happiness?
3) If I don't believe in my own value, why should I expect her to?
4) If I am coming from such a selfish place, why should I expect her to spend her one and only life with me and never look elsewhere?
5) If I really think that my partner is such a wild animal that if given freedom, she will abandon all morals and betray people, then why is it mystery that she never felt safe and wants to get out if that's how lowly you think of her? I mean, would YOU want to stay with someone who thinks so lowly of you?
6) If you PULL and FORCE her to stay, do you really think you can sleep soundly at night? Do you not realize that the threat of other men will ALWAYS be there? Do you not realize that the ONLY way to true security is to become the 1%? Think about it.
Remember - Give people enough freedom so they CAN leave, but treat them well enough so they won't want to.
Great tips Geoffrey - I'm new to your channel and found the 'Relationship Pyramid' concept really interesting. It made a lot of sense! Your videos are really good. Thank you for sharing
Thanks for the kind words!
Hello
,.,.,.I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,,.,.,...,
What if your wife abuses you emotionally, then accuses you of abusing her emotionally, then says she doesn’t love you and needs time to fall in love again?
I like this guy pretty clear and direct answers - tho he's young which might make you skeptical but seems like a straight shooter 👍
Hello
,.,.,.I know of a powerful man who can help you out now,,.,.,.
So what do I do when she has me blocked on everything and is currently with her parents. I try calling her no caller I’d at first she would never pick up but now picks up every so often. Lately she has picked up but now nothing.
You mentioned that while trying to rebuild the love, don’t call or text or chat. But what if that’s all you have as a means of communication?? What then do you do?
Hi Falk, you have to appeal to emotions which cannot happen via texting. Join the free master class and you can learn how to communicate in a different way and appeal directly to emotions and turn things around.
what if you know what the issue is? Ive been with my Girlfriend for 4 years and we have a 16 month old. last friday she kicked me out because she doesnt feel safe or secure with me. She said I dont help out enough around the house and that she feels like shes raising 2 kids.
I go to work i pay the bills and i provide but she wants more than that. how can I show her i can be the man she needs in her life when i no longer live in my home with my family
What if you both are in different regions of the world? How can you talk it out ? In person isn’t easy at this point
What If she’s saying she is completely done and doesn’t want to talk at all etc?
We’re sorting out flat out, and once that’s done and dusted I feel like she’s just going to block me, I’ve sent paragraph after paragraph what we can do and said I understand why and what happened and she’s just saying she don’t care and it’s too late etc.
When do I admit defeat to this?
I feel fear about beginning this conversation because it will surface all the "negatives" making her reflect and feel worse about our relationship... any advice?
How would you go about this if they moved out a week ago & don’t want to text/ talk to you? Great advice I really appreciate just don’t know how to reach out to here in these times.
my wife cheated on me for seven months. I found out by catching her red handed sending pics to the other guy. she has seen him even though I have known she says she doesn't care any more. she says she doesn't love me any more. the reason I finally found out was because I'm epileptic and in my sleep I do something similar to sleep walking but its called sexsomnia. I attack her in her sleep. I don't recall any of these events like I don't when I go into a seizure. she has stayed at his house and told mesh was going didn't care. she wants to run off to him every chance she gets. we have been married for 13 years and I love her dearly. but se won't let go of him. I'm currently in the process of moving out. any ideas.
What about weird scenarios though. Like long distance in the Military? Im currently getting ready to seperate from the military in less than 2 weeks. I don't have a choice, but to call and text. We've beeen apart for a little over 7 months now because she moved home early to secure a job and all of that!. Then 2 weeks from me about to be home she says shes just not happy, and wants a divorce. What am I supposed to do then? I want to hear her out and do all of these things. Do you think things will just be different when I'm home again? I have realized that i was trying really hard and basically making it my responsibility to ensure she was happy after the move, because I felt like I had pulled her from her family and all that to begin with. I realize now she made that decision because she saw something in me, and saw us being happy. However, it seems like the more I tried to make sure she was happy the more unhappy she was and the more resentment I started gaining resentment for myself because I decided it was my responsibility. I see now that I actually never needed to try. Not to say i didnt care, and that I plan on giving up. I just never needed to try to be "perfect". I basically changed the blueprint that I already had that made her happy and to fall in love with me to begin with! I changed myself from trying too hard! I realize I dont have to try to change anymore. I don't have to "Try" for anything anymore. Just being me is good enough and always has been. I'm excited about finally being home, and now I can properly prioritize all of OUR wants and needs. It's going to be the best scenario our marriage has ever been in as far as our individual happiness. I just don't understand why she doesn't want to give one last go with positive expectation right now with such a huge positive life change for BOTH sides about to happen. I realize now I can help her, and be apart of her happiness. I can't MAKE her happy though! I don't need to try, I just need to be myself and be happy and enjoy doing things for and with her again. How do I know if it's actually too late though?
a lot of things changes when she doesn't love you so she cheats with someone else.......which wrecks you as a person
Thank you so much for this video !!! This is so helpful.
Thank you for this video. We have been in a loving relationship for 2 years, and she broke up recently. She’s far away on a cruiseship and Im in the city where we met. We had a conversation, and she opened up on all the things that she was missing in the relationship and that I didnt provide (such as a sense of protection and understanding). I recognize now that its over, how I acted and what I missed all this time. She thinks I am not the right partner for her to go the next step and move in together. We parted in loving ways and she said she will keep all the good memories we experienced. Is there anything I can do to attract her back and show her that I can be that partner she is longing for? Thanks for all advice, its been a difficult time rn..
I agree with everything you have said but what if the person broke up with you because they lost feelings. Should you still reach out to them or maintain no contact and give them space? What if you can't talk to them because you are apart right now?
I have the same problem with my fiancée, she keeps ignoring me and she say she want space . She dosnt want to talk to me about anything and it really hard because I want to listen to her but she is not letting me
Hi, have you seen the many more videos I have on this topic of your partner wanting space?
ua-cam.com/video/1ZVCi3FX26M/v-deo.html
She doesn't talk too me and greet me like always like before... And now she says she doesn't love me anymore...
And don't force her too faking her love for me what should I do..I'm crying like mad.. like a cry baby right now hurt so bad
She just said / sometimes i just wanna be single
Some great advice . Especially over the no contact rule.. some people might be able to do no contact. And be strong .. but for me , I can't .. I just go crazy in between the days of no contact and make a fool of myself ..
I have to show her I am strong and confident. But staying away , breaks my spirit !
HI Mark S,
If you like this info on the no contact rule you will love this video below.
ua-cam.com/video/6akN8wMEc6Q/v-deo.html
I’m long distance so what should I do my girlfriend is 6 hours away from me and prob won’t want to see me
She told me she doesn’t love me anymore and no matter what I did the outcome is still going to b the same. She has decided to leave me. How? Appreciate ur advice 😢
I like your vids, but not every relationship can be fixed... really...
Distance, age, cultural differences can definitely come into play; especially in my case.
We didn't argue/fight in 5 years, every day together was amazing. She lives in Finland (Finnish) and I am in the USA. I usually live overseas, but when COVID happened, we couldn't see each other in 1.6 years. When we finally went to see each other, it was AMAZING! Three weeks later she texted me telling me she can't continue the relationship. While she didn't explain why, she told me a few things:
1) During COVID she lost connection with me and she learned to love herself and be independent without anyone in her life. 2) She thinks I am too old to have kids (bc we have a huge age difference, but she never wanted kids and now she does - which I am ok with) 3) She feels like she hasn't;t accomplished ANYTHING in her life by herself, bc I always help her (bc I am a professional in our dance industry and have helped open doors for her). She broke up in Nov and haven't contacted me since. All of our friends are the same and NONE of them understand what happened (we were a poster couple in our dance industry and partners that traveled the world together). She unfriended me on all social media and I haven't heard from her since.
The sad thing is, I was going to propose two weeks after she broke up; she picked the ring out and we have an apt in Finland together. I filed for my visa ro move to Finland full time. My whole life has been uprooted and I have NO ANSWERS at all. I've been in no contact for 3 months and nothing. She went from completely intimate and loving in Sept, no gone in Nov with no answers. She just says she wants to be independent and succeed by herself with no man or partner in her life.
I treated her like a princess, really! Like I said, we never fought in 5 years. I don't think anything I can do with affect her decision! I want her back so bad... and I am taking this time to move forward and concentrate on me, but there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of her. I don't know if I did anything wrong, bc she never said anything bad or wanted me to change. She simple said, COVID distance destroyed us. I'm lost and have been to many counselors, they all say this: move forward without her.
The sad thing is, we are in the same community and I might have to see her with another man (which is common in the dance world, and is not normal in other areas of life). Some people drop out of the profession because it's too painful. Meeting women is not an issues for a dance pro, but I know she is the one... the one I want to marry! :(
So again, I don't think all relationships are fixable..esp when you are 6,000miles apart. :(
Anyways, love your content!
Hi TheTrailDancer,
I appreciate your opinion. And yeah maybe that has crossed my mind once or twice in the past. But having worked with thousands of clients and seeing just how much couples can go through together and seeing that all of the issues that you mentioned can be faced together and as a team instead of separately, yeah wow. This showed me that there is not issue to great not to go through together.
Feel free to check some out for yourself.
ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html
@@GeoffreySetiawan Thanks for your reply...
I wish more than anything my relationship can be saved, but I am losing faith daily. We have the same friends and they are telling me to move on and don't think of getting her back. Finnish women are super stubborn and independent.
I just wish I know why. We went from bring apart during COVID for 1.6 years, to reuniting perfectly, to her leaving me three weeks after with no explanation other than her saying that she learned to love herself as a women and wants to feel like she is accomplishing her goals without my or any other man in her life. Also, we have a 20 year age difference (common in the dance community) and I think having kids are now very important to her and may think I'm too old (just guessing).
20,000 people around the world know our relationship and nobody saw this coming and nobody understands what the hell happened; me most of all.
I miss her and want to put that ring on her finger and get back to the perfect relationship I thought we had... but I just want to talk to her and understand her and what happened, what changed...
She said there is no other guy, but I just can't believe that, bc we never fought in 5 years... we did everything together and it was magical! :( I have NO CLUE!!!!
Meeting girls as a top dance pro is easy, sex is easy; but having a girl you love to come home to, share your life with is priceless! :( Only a dream!
she said she doesnt wanna talk about it more-been holding her hand for 6 hours what do i do now?