'EVIL' ALTERS?! - All About Alters: Part 2 | Debunking DID Ep:4 | Dissociative Identity Disorder
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- Опубліковано 27 лип 2024
- Part two of our 'All About Alters' Series! Why do DID systems keep our alters? What roles do they typically take on within a system? Are there 'evil' or 'bad' alters? What's an introject? We cover it all in this video!
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Sources and studies used/referenced in this video:
Elzinga, Phaf, Ardon, & van Dyck, (2003)
Dalenberg et al., (2012)
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
traumadissociation.com/alters
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oh my god... "your alters can have alters"... I literally can not imagine the amount of pain that someone has suffered to have this. respect to everyone who deals with this on a daily basis.
That literally made me tear up, nobody deserves this...
Yeah, it's sad, but it's my life
Our system is like that, we seem to have one main trauma part, but he has DID, so he can keep it all. Other's do have some trauma, but the one with DID is specialized with dealing with it all, and instead of having multiple separate trauma parts, we created one who has DID, so he's multiple trauma parts in one cover so to speak. And in his DID there are several subsystems and parts with parts etc. Our main system (the one where he is considered as one part only) is not complicated, but his system is.
For us it's not because of having more trauma than other systems, we just placed it further away from the ones who need to be functional. I actually "only" have OSDD 1b, but he has DID. So we have dx having both. But labels don't matter that much, its same cause and same treatment.
@@floralie3074 Yeah, it's the same with my system but ours is complex too. Our main trauma guard has many alters and others in the system do too. We honestly have no idea what to search for first
Raluca Diaconu this is actually really comforting. I haven’t told anybody about my BPD or potential DID because of fear of embarrassment and rejection so it’s really reassuring to see this and to see people who are understanding like this
I'm not a system but the idea of alters getting stuck in trauma loops is the saddest thing I've ever heard. My heart goes out to any alter stuck in that situation.
Leo Zampelli Most of our alters are usually in trauma loops. I have been in one before, it is horrible. It doesn’t stop, it feels depressing and as if a boulder is crushing your mind when you are facing a trauma loop.
-Jade | Protector | Female | 19.
@@theetherealsystem1891 :(((( I hope you're all okay, especially during quarantine!
@@theetherealsystem1891 why does your channel say you upload every Sunday, but there isn't a video on your channel?
Alex Hampton Our System has been extremely busy, dealing with many things so we do not have the time. We will be uploading as soon as we can.
That's good comment. But the way who ever hearted this comment even after the video was made in 2 years ago is kinda nice. :)
"your way of dealing with your trauma does not make you a bad person!"
Wow that literally gave me chills. so valid
ema hyphy I wanted to cry
Exactly xox
Can I just hug you though? Xox
I believe within limits
Literally read this comment as it was said.
So powerful.
I always thought people’s alters only “came out” when they were feeling scared, stressed, upset, etc... I didn’t know it can just happen a lot! I’m learning soooooo much.
It's probably different for everyone
I’ve seen psychology study footage where a woman’s alters could be called out by her therapist asking to speak with them
names can be triggers
I don't know about any one else but recently one of my littles has started coming out occasionally for fun. She always asks first though. The others sometimes come out to do crafts they enjoy or be with friends
I have only three alters, a little, a protector and a host and care taker and my alters come out only on stressed situations, for an example when somebody triggers the trauma
hearing you talk about how omega was here and seeing her in the newer videos makes me so glad to know she isn’t in this state anymore ❤️
Oh I haven't seen those videos yet (binging this channel haha), this makes me so happy to hear!
Me too - hope She someday will feel safe and loved in the world
0:54 Why do we need our alters?
2:05 Typical / Common Alter Roles
2:25 The Simple Stuff - EP's & ANP's
6:02 Alter Roles: Protector
9:45 Alter Roles: Persecutor
13:45 Alter Roles: Introject
15:25 Alter Roles: Gatekeeper
16:02 Alter Roles: Fragment
17:16 Alter Roles: Child Alters
17:56 CHART - Types of Alter Personality (Parts) in Dissociative Identity Disorder
Kathy Truong THANK YOU
SAVIOUR
Epic time stamp
Thanks a lot 😉
+
I do not have DID, nor did I know anything about it. But since finding your channel, I have been obsessed with these videos and learning. Thanks for spreading knowledge and awareness!
Also, you’re absolutely lovely!!
Thank you so much! 💖
I'm in the same boat. I was vaguely aware it could happen, but that was it. I feel like I'm learning so much. Interestingly, around the same time I found your channel, a friend came out to me about having DID. So I'm even more driven to learn so I can talk to them with greater understanding.
SAME
My system operated for well over a decade with the idea that several of our alters were evil and had to be contained. Literally locked up in cells in the head scape and guarded by other Alters. The Operators that we're my predecessors were doing their best to keep us from hurting ourselves or others, but it wasn't until recently when one of them reformed through their own willpower that we realized they weren't evil--they were only angry and violent because they were traumatized and trying to protect us in the way that they knew how.
Currently doing regular group therapy sessions for several of them.
One Alter we've always just called "Rage" because he never even picked a name for himself, was so angry and only wanted to front when he felt we were being threatened or bullied so that he could beat the everliving shit out of whoever was the perceived threat. Now we're working with him to put all his anger into productive uses rather than destructive ones, and he identifies more as a powerful warrior than a mindless berserker. He still hasn't named himself but some of us have started calling him "The Demigod" because he's so strong and confident
Ive known an alter called Dragon who would only front when the host felt backed into a corner
Thank you for this video Chloe. I am a Persecutor, and I have assumed that I would always be thought of as evil or simply unstable because of what I've done, just to the body mostly. I have been trying to come out of my shell, and talk to everyone else in the system, but it is rather hard for me. Part of me hopes that the host will see this comment and know it was me who typed it, but I'm not sure how often they read comment sections to videos, as the two of us (not sure about anyone else in the head space) are fans of your channel -🦂
Good luck honey ❤️
Awesome!! I hope so too.
With work and time, anything can be accomplished 💜
Replying to this to improve the chance that your host sees it. HEY HOST!! COME WATCH!!
Oh sweetie. I hope they do and I wish your system the best ❤️ lots of hugs and love
I have a prosecutor.. for the first... I dunno how many years. From the age 9 till 16/17 I was forced to ride shotgun in my own conscious while he ran my body and my life. I was thankful when I was 9 and was relieved, but it got to the point where I was absolutely emotionless up until a couple years ago. I’m 19 for preference. He goes by no face and when he draws himself that’s what he draws.. a guy with no face. And I’ve tried to reason and accept him and coexist, but it got to the point where very very bad things happened when I came back into control and told my mom.. and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to live with him. He’s locked in a cage with talismans and symbols and everything you can put because it was quite literally like letting loose a wild rabid animal.. thank you for this video it’s made me realize I need to try harder to understand and accept rather than run away
I'm so sorry. You're such a strong person
Samantha Bennett No face=no Identity. Interesting
@@MA-nm2cdYeah. It seems like a common trope for prosecutors. Mine has a mirror instead. Really unnerving. - Pincushion
We did something similar with a persecutor that we could not reason with, but luckily ours never had control of the body. Instead he would cause hallucinations that would terrify my host. We tried to reason with it before symbolically locking it up, but it was just a big ball of anger and wouldn't believe that we wanted to be friends.
I can't imagine what it would be like if he ever got control, and am very sorry that anyone has gone through that. I'm glad you got back control, others are right that you are a very strong person.
You can check out 'sunday night all of me' video on youtube. Jess talks about her doctor and how he changed the way she looks to her alters and find a way to live with harmony at the end.
I don't have the condition but I am fascinated and eager to learn about the condition, and just wanted to say thanks for educating me on it! 🙂🙃
I suggest AlexMax Han. Their channel does a lot of Q & A's & is v informing
WHAT A B-BUM HEAD.
nice save
Please don't misunderstand, I completely emphasize with all of you,
But I just need to get off my mind the poetic beauty in omegas name because the letter omega is usually a symbol for the end.
I really hope I'm not hurting anyone...
*aggressively zooms* "POLYFRAGMENTATION."
As a member of a polyfragmented system, I would like to say that both definitions you gave are accurate. Typically I've seen them described as having 100+ alters, but I don't think that weve met another polyfragmented system that doesnt also have subsystems, including ourselves.
I know this video is a bit old now, but the mention of polyfragmentation made me really happy. Thank you for what you all do!
- Apfel
If an alter that is a protector for example in a system (s1) has their own alters, does that mean that there are also other types of alters in that system (s2) and they 'take turns' and system one (s1) could have no protector but another animal alter for example? I'm not sure how to phrase this, sorry. I'm new to this and I would like to educate myself more
@@rey7826 you asking if a subsystem can have various kinds of alters as well? because yes. one of the most prominent subsystems here (that has lovingly named themselves the Quark Subsystem) has a protector, a persecutor, a trauma holder, and a couple others that dont have defined roles to my knowledge (they probably know better than i do but im not bothering them right now). so yeah if im understanding you right, the answer is yes. a subsystem can have the same parts as the overall system. a much smaller subsystem here (the alnwick subsystem) is made up of only two members and i dont know that either of them have very specific roles on their own.
sorry if this response is a mess i just woke up from an impromptu nap
-Hawk
Have you or any of your systems talked about doing a video to explain y'alls situations?
@@bella_quinn_7724 That is actually why we have this channel that we currently have nothing on. We intend to do art and talk over it about our experiences and introduce some of us. We just need to find the energy to do so. And hope like hell that our laptop will record decent audio.
-Echo
@@grimdarkdoodles5677 wow! Having so many people around sounds very tiring.
Are you German speaking? It seems like there are some German names...
I have from what I know so far, I have 4 alters.. I’m becoming more open with this and my friends who I’ve told, are like “wow that makes so much sense”
The first response is “is it Hayden?” Because he’s fronted and introduced himself without me knowing..
My system is a mess
Your channel helps a lot ♥️
I hope you and your system are doing better ❤️
I'm an alter, a persecutor. My name is Nicole. Your section on persecutors really helped me.. see things a little differently. Thank you. It made me feel really.. safe? I guess. Thanks.
You should feel safe Nicole. Your not bad just because your an persecutor, your rlly strong ❤️
Didn't know about Fragments but it makes a lot of sense now, I've had a few of those. Some of which developed into fully complex Alters. One of us who was created to literally "guard this door" developed into one of the strongest people in our system, with a more complex personality and range of emotion than most of us have.
Your makeup is gorgeous! Is any one particular alter in charge of applying makeup, doing your hair, choosing your clothing, etc. or do they take turns?
Thank you so much! Usually either me, Nadia or Sally will do makeup, we all take it in turns to decide on hair colour and clothing is up to who ever is out at that time!
@@DissociaDID So do you try to have a wardrobe that can allow all your alters to express themselves?
@@DissociaDID It's cool! You have a real organised makeup and wardrobe staff!
I swear at 13:00 I literally thought she was an angel
I’m glad you’re slowly coming back :)
I discovered my system because of you, and I’m so grateful. Thank you, and stay safe ^^
I feel like I have OSDD and I’m watching to learn more. I haven’t had amnesia yet but I’m going to talk to my therapist and we’ll figure it out. So I understand and agree with this sentiment
Just found your channel and honestly have fallen in love with it. You’re so sweet and full of wonderful info that not a lot of people would generally know. I do not have DID And I feel like I know so much more about it now even though I’m sure there’s billions of things I don’t know yet. I can’t wait to see where your channel goes from here :)
Awh thank you so much that's so lovely of you to say! Im really glad youre enjoying the channel so far ❤
Paige Johnson this is exactly how I feel. I also found this channel today and am totally hooked!This intelligent, beautiful and very articulate young woman will go far and I can’t wait to see her expand on this channel. Good luck Chloe xx you are stunning babe
I absolutely love how you respect and understand every alter’s feelings and their rationale behind their actions. People should really be like this in general.
I love how she talked about the persecutor's motivation. I don't have DID but have talked in therapy about why that very mean internal voice is there, and that it thinks it's helping. Similarly a survival mechanism from childhood, just not split off into a personality like in DID. It was so affirming to hear Chloe say that it needs to be understood and respected. 🙂
I’m sorry if I’m overstepping, but what happens when you are asleep? Do you all dream at the same time, or do some alters take over while you sleep too?
Speaking from experience--it might be different for other people---it really depends on the person and their alters. There are times when my alters and I dream about the same thing. Other times, we dream in turns. Come to think of it, that may be why I can never remember my dreams in detail....
Anton Paule that’s very interesting!
However, it is common for people not to remember their dreams in detail, DID or not. Can’t remember the exact science behind it but I think it’s something to do with the fact that as your brain is still at a resting state it isn’t fully processing the dream into the memories etc. I could be entirely wrong so please research it if you want to know more about it.
Also if you wanted to remember your dreams then the moment you wake up after a dream write down as much as you can possibly remember about it. Eventually it’ll train your mind into better remembering your dreams.
I assume you still know that you were dreaming that night when you wake the next day as you said about how you can’t remember your dreams so I’d assume that you’re aware of it for a short time after you wake otherwise how did you know you dreamt in the first place!
Thanks for the insight and I hope I could in turn, help you with the information I can recall.
Just to give another perspective: In our system, we typically wake up a couple times. One alter will wake up at around 1, read, go to sleep, and then another might wake up, repeating the cycle. I can't speak for the rest of my system, but I sometimes remember dreams. - Pincushion.
It depends on the system... Sometimes I find myself going asleep and coming back to consciousness in the kitchen with chips in my hands 😂 it depends on the system and if your alers are asleep or awake during the time... Some of mine like to stay up really late in the inner world therefore when I fall asleep they find it as an escape to come out for a bit
Audrie F as someone with DID I wonder this same thing.
Coming from an alter that used to be a persecutor (now a protector) I am glad you talked about it. I really had no idea I wasn’t doing the right things, I was hurting the others n pushing everyone away from our host. I thought it was the right thing to do to make sure we never got hurt again. I’m still working on being better n I still get really angry all the time. But it put a smile on my face when I heard you talk about it. - Unknown
Man it must be hard, I send you strength and honor vibes, keep the good work !
Poly-fragmentation: "We gotta go deeper." *dramatic inception theme plays*
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I’m said this to my friend (cause he’s poly-fragmented) and he started laughing even one of his alters came forward, laughing as well
LMAOOO!!!
My co-host is a trauma holder but hes accepted it better than the rest of us. He mostly keeps his memories to himself, which is better in a way. He's mature and strict, he plays a huge role in the system. He protects me, feeds the body when I dont want to eat, and takes care of the littles with Ray. If he wasn't here I dont think we'd be able to go through the day.
My persecutor is kind of a protector at the same time. He activates when he thinks that me or my friends are in danger. He can be very aggressive some times, but I know that he does it because he loves me and my friends. I was play fighting with a friend once and at some point my protector kicked in and over assessed the situation by knocking him down on the floor.
He is also very good at arguing when I am falsely accused of something. So when ever I end up in a situation when someone is accusing me for something bad that I know that I haven't done then he comes forth and he can be cold- and straight forward as fuck. I love him.
I never knew about polyfragmentation! We might have that! Our alter David is an alter of someone we thought was nameless (well we knew his name before but I forgot it cause I'm a bad host) but he might actually be Jessy and just changed quite a bit as a person over time.
I am so glad that you are back!! You have helped me so much since my diagnosis 😭😭😭💙💙💙💙💙💙
My mum's friend had a child alter which would just randomly pop out when we pass a horse. Her name is evie and she only stays out for about 10 seconds to admire the horse. She also has a child alter named Anna who is 4 years old, she was out all of the time and my little sister and I used to play with her a lot when we were younger
YOU HAVE OPENED MY EYES I've always felt wrong I have so many alters so many sometimes I forget and they're like hey I exists. I've always felt like I was lying just then I'd break down because I'm not like everyone else but this is me why am I not like everyone else with DID I have easily around 75 alters most are very small and do very little and some are what I call pillers were they're so important to my stability thank you so much for doing this thank you thank you thank you you've made me feel so safe in myself
My partner has DID, and he's a big fan of your channel! He told me to watch your videos because they're very interesting and enjoyable, and he was right! I'm learning a lot from your videos.
I love the way you explain things. You make difficult concepts seem much easier! I recently wrote an article trying to raise awareness of DID and I realised how hard it can be to explain some of these concepts so I really admire your skill in that. Keep on doing what you're doing!
Oh thank you so much! I'd love to read your article? :)
I actually entered it into a writing competition held by the musical Wicked, with the aim of raising awareness and I've been selected as one of the finalists! This means it will be published even if I don't win and that means there'll actually be a positive piece out there about DID, which makes me super happy. I wrote it because I was sick of the stigma. So at some point you should be able to find it. I'm not an expert but it's made up of things I've learned from someone I once knew with DID, talking a lot to some systems and watching excellent videos like yours. This is why I think what you're doing is so important. You've helped educate people and they in turn can pass that on. 😊
Ahh thats so amazing im so proud of you! Cant wait to find it when it comes out. And thank you!
Thank you! I care more about the positive impact that it will hopefully have rather than my own gain though 😊 having it out there is winning for me. The awards ceremony is on the 21st June in London and it should be released just after that. I'll try to link you to it on Facebook once I have access to the PDF xx
I would also love to read the article, could you share the title?
Alters are unique individuals! That opens my heart about everything about alters.
Understanding and acceptance is the first step. You drop wisdom, Chloe!
Hi, I just came across your channel today, and I almost immediately subscribed. Your videos are so fascinating and informative. As someone who doesn’t have DID, I’m really glad I’m getting the chance to learn about it. I hear misconceptions about it all the time, and I want to be educated so that I can distinguish between real and fake. Overall, these videos are great, and you all seem like lovely people!
Wow thank you so much!
Me too, I just found the channel today, and I immediately subscribed after about 10 minutes into my first video! DID is extremely interesting to me, and watching this helps me understand more, in a more personal turn to it, and I thank you for that! All love from me💖
is it bad that i feel a bit bad for watching this because i dont have the disorder?
I don’t have DID so don’t feel bad about watching these videos, I think it’s helpful to destigmatise (if that’s a word) this condition and learn to understand it to support people you might know with the condition 😀😀
Do you ever feel like you can’t get alone time with the body? Like does it feel like someone is always watching when you’re in front?
I would like to know the answer to this as well
yes sometimes
I’ve honestly never truly felt alone
It almost always feels like someone is watching unless the one fronting puts up a wall to block it. And that would be difficult.
Hard question. Lots of alters, myself included, don't really "get" the concept of alone. Do I wish I was alone sometimes? Definitely. Do I know what I'm wishing for? No. - Pincushion
Our Gatekeeper spends most of his time managing the "Front". I did not know he might also have access to trauma and other difficult memories. I thought his whole job was to manage switching. He does that well.
Hi! I'm Alec (preferred name) and i'm part of System K, and i'm the host! And i just wanna say, thank you so much for sharing this info for other people to see. If anyone has any questions for my System, please just reply to me :)
Can one alter lock the other alters in the inner world and prevent them from fronting? Pls reply🙏🏾
@@mry3811 someone/a system commented here that he locked his persecutor in a cage with a lot of talismans, although this video made him realized that might not be the best/healthier way of dealing with it, it may help until you find a better way. Hope this helps.
@@carlalussini oh thank you so much❤❤❤:-) it really helped.......❤❤❤
Do child alters grow?
Also what's a sexual alter?
I'm glad this channel exists. I personally don't have DID but I knew someone who did. a past best friend of mine had DID, and she ended up leaving me because one of her more negative alters ended up convincing her that I was the cause of all of her depression. since then I have had a very negative look on DID, I thought every alter was out to attack their host and hurt them, but hearing you talk about your alters like they're friends and educating people like me who don't fully understand makes me see that it may not be as bed or "evil" as I thought they are. thank you for helping me understand better
Educational video + moments where I laugh out loud = awesomeness ⭐️
Awh im so glad you liked it!
as far as i know, introjects aren't always copies of an abuser. they can be a copy of anyone, real or fictional.
Thats true. Ill be talking about fictives etc in the 3rd part :)
oh sweet! i look forward to that! I have a lot of experiences with fictives myself, so it's a topic i really enjoy seeing 😊
Oh right! Is there anything specific you think its important we include/you want to see? :)
hmm maybe put some emphasis on them being just as valid as any other alter. i know it's something that people who don't have any fictives can find odd, or maybe even silly, but they're still very important members of a system. just like any other alter, they were created for a reason, and they're there to help in their own special way.
Lito from The Entropy System is a good example and reference for this topic. obviously, every system and every alter is different, but the things they've said about the experience correlates pretty well with what i've experienced. they talk about how disorienting it can be for both the fictive and the rest of the system, pseudo-memories, and how coming to terms with the reality of the situation can be really difficult for them and how at first they might try to come up with a reason for what's happening that fits in the canon of the work they came from. They also talk about how as they do come to terms with it, find they're role in their system and experience life, they may start to differ from the character they were originally based off and grow past it. Fictives don't always have to be a 100% canon copy of the character in order to identify with that term and be valid.
oof, i wrote a lot more than i thought i would 😅 i hope it all makes sense
Of course! Ill make sure I talk about it all ❤
No matter what topic you talk about in your videos seeing you speak up about DID makes me feel valid :) thank you so much for being here!
You ARE valid! Thank you for being here too! ❤
I met someone with DID today and I’m trying to learn as much as I can about it so I can understand better.
I met them on discord and I came off as *very* rude. They use a bot to show who’s talking and I thought that it was just a bot. So afterwards they explained it to me (I had little previous knowledge by watching you guys videos out of pure curiosity) so I’m trying to redeem myself by learning as much as I can about DID :)
Chloe, I'm sorry your childhood and life was so hard. And DID is just difficult to live with, you seem to manage so well. Sending support, camaraderie.
I missed you all so much guys! I'm so happy that your channel and videos are getting back and now i'm watching them again. Now that i am rewatching, i can recognise Kyle everywhere in the video along with Chloe 😊 anyways, i just wanted to say that i really missed yall and your comforting videos. Regards to everyone in the system ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks so much for making these videos. I might get rambly here, but my life's been a little rough for me without having a good reason why. I don't have DID, but your videos have given me a lot to think about regarding my own issues and not being as judgemental with how I cope with whatever emotional problems I internalized as a child. So just wanted to say I think your videos, although they mostly touch on DID, cover a very large spectrum of what it is to be a human being and learning to not be ashamed of what we all deal with.
Thank you so very much. I am just learning about our system. Thank you for teaching me about them. Especially about persecutors, he is the most vocal in our system, though so far the communication is one way. I have started a journal, asking them a few questions (like the persecutor's name, right now he is just the little old man to me). Thank you for telling me that he has my trauma too and I should be nicer to him. We have a little and a protector/caregiver as well but I don't know much about them beyond their names. I have found several of you UA-camrs extremely helpful as we figure things out. You, The Entropy System, Evan and Jeremy, Lantern Sky (sp?) and Multiplicity and Me have been the most informative although I'm sure I've forgotten some. Sorry for the massive comment I'm just excited to be moving from the black into the orange.
Lunar Eclipse: I'm an EP but I'm normally not the one who gets emotional that often, but when you were talking about how there is good in everyone & even if someone in the system does something that is considered "bad" but they are just going on what they know through pass experiences...that actually put tears in my eyes
i have a question... you said that you used to 'disappear' for long periods of time, for example wake up at the end of the day without knowing what's happened. I was just wondering, if your alters can now talk to you in your head even when they're not in the front, was it impossible for you back then be aware of not being in the front, but still kind of know what's happening with the body?
That can only happen if you're co-conscious, so i really had no idea. I felt like I was being possessed. It was like blinking, or waking up from passing out, and id be in a different place. I had no awareness of the time I was gone at all. Its still usually like that
DissociaDID ahhh i get it xd thanks for explaining :))
No problem! x
That's exactly how I experience it too! I feel much less crazy and lonely hearing that, thank you for sharing.
I'll often either be told the basics by one of them like "we went to the mall" or re read my text messages and figure it out.
I came here from the "i spent a day with" video as probably many others, and i want to thank all of you for educating us about this, before all of this i barely knew anything about this disorder, and i find it both fascinating and terrifying that the human mind does this given enough trauma (in some cases, hope this doesn't come off as disrespectful) So thank you DissociaDID system for educating us about this, it is much appreciated.
I have just begun this week to accept my system more fully, this has taken me a long time. I appreciate you describing and giving examples of the different roles of alters. When you described the persecutor role I felt you had just read straight from my journal as I was trying to describe a couple of my alters thinking but didn't really understand them until this video, so thank you so much for doing these videos. I have found much relief in the information and the reassurance you bring to us. Thank you.
I have OSDD and so I don't present as distinct alters as others may, and my amnesia is more on the emotional amnesia side. Many days I can recount my trauma if asked without much problem, unless the alter that holds the emotions produced by that trauma is fronting at the time, then it's a whole entire situation filled with screaming and sobbing and anger and hyperventilating and SIB.. Sometimes the angry little in me comes out and wants to inflict pain on others because they think it's the worlds' fault they had to go through what they did, even though most of 'me' agrees we are very much not in that situation anymore and wish to heal. In those instances I find my caretaker co-hosting with that little to make sure they don't act on anything that the rest of the system might have to deal with later.
All your alters look and function so differently, it is so fascinating to watch you ! Love your videos 😍😍😍
I don’t remember my childhood.. I have been having little flash backs , and people tell me stuff but I don’t remember..
I just have fragments of memories and sometimes when I have a flashback I can’t tell if it really happened to me or not. I have to ask other people it’s like a movie but I’m just in the background..
People talk to me and I have a hard time staying focused.. I often stop mid sentence and have know idea what’s going on.. if I’m with my boyfriend I have to constantly ask where we are going or what we are doing.. he’s gotten kind of annoyed by this and just tells me we are going to “never land” as a joke but it really upsets me and scares me because I honestly can’t remember what’s going on, it’s frustrating.
I have a hard time learning too.. I can’t remember anything i remember a teacher took me aside and said I’ve seen you studying for hours at school .. but you fail the class and I said I know I study for hours but I don’t remember anything ever lol..
Sorry for the long post.. and maybe know one will see it,
But I’m just having a hard time as an adult..
I can’t focus on anything or anyone everyone gets frustrated with me.. my emotions feel like they are all over the place.
When I was little and a teenager I never remembered my homework or things ive done I had to write everything on my arms, so I could remember ..
sometimes I wouldn’t remember what I wrote on my arm an hour before. I would find things and kind of be shocked I wrote that or not remember why I wrote it..
I’ve seen a few DID channels and I love yours the most I relate to you the most, you have really helped me I am going to try and see a psychiatrist..
I am not sure if this is what I have , maybe it’s not but it really has shown me I probably have soemthing.. for sure .. there are a lot of other symptoms I have and a lot of things that have happened to my in my life.. anyways I’m rambling.. but I just wanted to thank you so much for being gentle in the way you explain everything so perfectly!... it’s been so helpful
I am my systems persecutor, and your description of persecutors made me cry. You are so sweet and don’t attack anyone. Thank you. - Julia, the slushy system
Can I please say what an awesome system name you have?!
@@Cryptid_Robin thanks i hate it-lili
I wish I could talk about having DID. makes me happy to know that we are not alone. Your information is so true and you made my alter cry with joy. All through school I was made fun of and called a liar for having this. I used to have allot of them, but since had to destroy almost all of them. Christian pastors called me demon posessed and made me feel even worse for existing. My only one has basically shut himself away to the rest of the world mostly. Before he used to talk to people all the time, now he just remains in the shadows. Knowing now that we aren't crazy is a wonderful feeling and to see you sharing your story is just wonderful.
Introject here - of cause we can change. We make the strongest protectors evaaaa.
Thanks for (re)uploading this great video.. there is so much good information here.
Came here from Jessica's channel after your collab. I relate so much to Jess, but your struggles were totally new to me. This is so interesting. Thank you for educating me and everyone. ❤️
My ex boyfriend had an alter who is a prosecutor, and he is a fictive who happens to be a legitimate serial killer (not a fictional one, a real guy) & he wanted to stab my best friend simply because I was sad that we had gotten into an argument. He has another one that is a legitimate demon. When we broke up he developed an alter who happens to be me.
Edit: he hasn't killed anyone but his alter is under the impression that he has.
aw that’s misguided but lowkey sweet, he wanted to protect you
I found your videos last night and have been binge watching since. I've always been interested in psychology, as I endured childhood trauma as well. I don't have DID, but I put up many blocks mentally as a child, so that was one disorder I looked into. I think you are doing a very brave and compassionate thing with sharing your story and educating people about DID. I had a very topical understanding of it, but your euphemism of a glass bowl shattering really struck home. It's absolutely amazing how resilient and powerful the human brain is. I believe you've definitely found one of your life's purposes, and I hope that's fulfilling. You all deserve all the peace, happiness, and fulfillment in the world for your strength and resilience. I'm glad to have found such a beautiful heart.
Hi Chloe! Just wanted to say you seem like such a sweet, warm, kind, sensitive person and I have learned so much from you and the alters that we've been introduced to. Thank you for sharing your story and for being so brave and open about your experiences. Wishing you all the very best.
funny thing is, i've never heard of DID before stumbling upon your videos. Really informative and interesting video's! You are awesome!
Thank you! Im really glad that you've learnt something new by finding us 😄❤
Hi Chloe! I just wanted to say you and everyone else in the body/system is so good at explaining DID in a way that makes it make more sense to those of us who don’t have it and also in a way that clears up the media’s lies of it being “scary”. I love you all and I’ve binged so many of your videos since finding your channel! Thank y’all so much for making these videos, they’re so informative and educational. I love them!
Stay amazing!!!! ❤️
I’m newly obsessed with your videos. I’m trying to watch a lot of them to understand more. I have a friend who recently opened up to me about having DID and they where sharing their experiences to me. And I just want to be educated so my friend can know that I am here and I am trying to understand better what’s happening with them. I care about them very much and I want to earn their trust slowly. And hopefully I can educate people in my life along my education. This has become a new gurney of education for me. Thank you
Hi! I just found your channel and I’ve been watching your videos for hours straight! I wanted to say that what you’re doing is such a brave and amazing thing to do and you have all my respect!
Also as a psychology student, I really hope that one day I’d become part of the force that may help people with DID and other mental disorders.
As someone who is learning about DID through others, I have a question that I hope isn't triggering at all. You mentioned that some alters are much older then others, but what happens who that alter reaches an age that for someone that doesn't have DID would require them to be in the hospital? My grandmother was in the hospital for some serious health problems that just come from being old. Would an alter going through the same thing then need to be in the hospital too? And after that point, then what happens? They are human and no one lives forever in perfect health but they are also a part of a functioning system. Does the system then have to change for them and how does that affect things? I hope it isn't too triggering a question
So alters cant really 'die' but sometimes older alters have been known to 'die' and either go dormant for some time or return in a ghost form/other form. If they were in such bad health its unlikely they would front very often as that takes a lot of energy but yes they would be affected by that old age and all the problems that come with it. It depends on the system and the alter. Im sorry about your grandmother too 💖
@@DissociaDID thank you, that does make sense! And its alright, she is in a much happier place and helping me in her own way :)
I just want to say that this channel....whoa. i have been binging your videos all day (literally, even at work 😂). I want to THANK YOU all for feeling secure enough within yourselves to share this with total strangers. I APPRECIATE you all for bringing awareness to this topic. True, unstereotypical, raw KNOWLEDGE. I'm not one who has been diagnosed with DID, but I find psychology and human brain utterly fascinating. Please know that you, your channel, your SYSTEM are loved and appreciated and you are doing exactly what you intended- destigmatizing and bring awareness. Lots of love to you all! Kisses! 😚❤️✨
this channel is incredibly important to educate people on DID and help destigmatise mental health! thank you for taking the time and effort to educate so many people, you and your alters are making such a big difference! sending love and well wishes to you on your journey right now!
Ah I'm so glad some of the videos are back! Makes me so happy
I've learned so much from your videos!! I'm glad i finally took the initiative and started watching them
I recently discovered this channel and I just want to say that I think what you’re doing is so amazing, i don’t have DID but I’ve learned so much about DID from your videos and I think you’re doing a great job at making a difference in peoples lives.
I love all of your videos, Thank you so much for dedicating your time and energy to educating all of us who may or may not relate. You are such a beautiful and magnificent system. I will most definitely support and further educate myself so I can be more aware in the world and help correct anyone who has any misunderstandings (But I will educate myself a lot more so I can be accurate.) I had no idea how complex and protective the brain can be until I found your channel. I myself have experienced trauma and am still working through the emotions; lately I have lost all of my motivation to move forward with healing but after coming across one of your videos a few days ago, I just couldn't stop watching. I watch your videos when I need inspiration; I follow the example you have displayed, "Never give up. Loving, accepting, understanding, and taking care of yourself is the essential "fuel" for growth and healing." Your entire system is so precious and beautiful- not to mention the strength all of you have shown. You prove to everyone that DID is complex, wonderful, and essential to survival. I absolutely want to learn more(And I will!). Again, thank you!!
So glad to see you back 🖤 your videos have helped us so much
Most of my alters can shapeshift but, one alter in particular --- Rebecca My Names Jay. I wanted to say Hi and I kinda end up hijacking this comment from her (Rebecca). But, basically most of us in the system have dyslexia and can shapeshift (We also like to argue\debate over wording and commenting). Personally I can shapeshift and my main from is human but, my shapeshifting is kinda watery so my human age shifts but, it not really a fragment I don't think. Idk I\we thought this was interesting and wanted/debated whether or not to comment or not but, I'm gonna go cuz I'm rambling.
That's so interesting. Hi, Rebecca, Jay and the others! I want to write a book with a main character who has DID. I would love it if you could answer some of my questions. I want to make it as realistic as possible.
I love this idea for a book, I'd honestly buy a copy of the book haha
@@jakedrake99 Ah thanks XD I sure hope so I have so many plot ideas and not enough information
Rebecca Hamm huh, that’s really interesting. Thanks for sharing Rebecca and Jay
@@jinxlovebot7324 hi I/we also have did and I'd/we'd be happy to help
i know it’s just the way the camera is picking up the light around you but it looks like you have a bright green/yellow aura and the fact that it matches the inner bits of your eyeshadow is super satisfying and pretty to look at!!
i wonder if different alters would have different colored auras?
Its really helpful watching your videos because as we learn how other systems work it's almost like an "aha!" Moment for ours. One of our deepest alters that's been around for the longest I've been able to identify as our gatekeeper. I love that we can learn more about ourselves through you. Thanks for providing clear information that wasn't clear or available before!
I have no clue if you’re going to see this but I need to say it. YOU ALL ARE AMAZING! ✨I only wished I found you ealier😭 literally found you today! Unfortunately, I see that you put videos on private and probably deleted some😞 I hope some day when the internet is a less crappy place you come back to continue to inform people such as me that wants to be an ally and understand DID (as much as I can) in all of its complexity❤️ YOU ALL ARE AMAZING ✨ Lots and lots of love from Canada
I would so very much like to meet you one day, you just seem so down to earth and you always make sure you say the right thing so you don't offend everyone. Sending lots of love ❤️
As a person who doesn't have DID Learning about the different types of alters I feel has helped me to gain a greater understanding on different parts of my personality and how they work and why I find myself doing things I don't always understand to try dealing with not so pleasant things that come up in life.
I just want to say that this last week has been filled with your videos and I have really enjoyed getting to know about DID and a lot of your different alters I think you are a wonderful person (as a whole and in all your parts) and are someone who is very inspirational, to me anyway. ❤️
I'm not sure how to word my comment. First, my impression is that you are doing a very brave and good thing with your informative and educational videos for the general public like me and for those with DID! I really only just found out recently how vastly pervasive this disorder is; how and why it comes about. It certainly stirs up my feelings on the matter in different ways; empathy for the DIDs and anger and disgust for the abusers of the children. I saw your newer videos before this one and I can see your progress. I pray for your continued healing (is integration an appropriate word to use?) as well as for all the DID commentors! God bless all!
I needed to hear this today (about how the way you deal with trauma and your experiences doesn't make you a bad person). I've gotten in trouble multiple times for things I did that I did because i felt threatened and was trying to keep myself out of harm. It wasn't till afterwards (and a lottt of stress) that I realized why it wasn't the proper way to deal with it, even though I was pretty dissociated at the time it happened, I'm learning. But I still think my actions make me a bad person, even though I've just been treated pretty poorly by people and have a hard time telling when someone is good to be around or not, and I tend to fall back into those situations because of it. If that makes sense.
I came across your channel while trying to find resources for my writing - I try to make all of my characters as realistic as possible, and my latest story has a character with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I'm amazed at the amount of information you've taught me in just under twenty minutes! Is it possible in the future that you could do a video on writing characters with alters and the important things to remember? I think it'd be really helpful for aspiring novelists like me looking to represent these conditions realistically. ^_^ - Arden
Where can I read your story?
I am also researching for a book about DID and trying to make it as tasteful as possible.
BRUH THAT’S WHY I’M HERE
I only just found your channel today and I've binge watched almost every video already lol. I just wanted to say that I find your videos really interesting and informative, and it's been so interesting meeting different alters and I'm excited to hear more from you 😊
a friend of mine often talks about this channel, i think he’s an internal helper? anyway, i finally decided to check you out and i’m learning a lot! thank you so much!
I think I have DID. I (think? not really sure) blackout sometimes, I used to think that I had really bad memories. Now I know three of my alters names. One is Peter, one is Mary, and the other is Happy. Peter makes me feel safe. Mary hates it when people push me around. Happy is constantly, well, happy. I know there are more. One of those continuously tells me how bad I am. The others (maybe three or four) are (maybe?? I really don't know) stuck in a traumatic experience. I am legit just confused. Like I thought it was normal to talk to myself and have a bunch of different people (in my head) say things like 'why did you let them kick you?' or 'you know that you don't deserve friends' and I'm so confused???? halp
4:01 *Alterception*
When I hear something like this, I feel like taken the right away to feel bad
Thank you for giving people with DID a place to express themselves without feeling bad or stigmatized. I feel so happy and relieved for them when I go through this comment section.
I admire you for stepping forward and informing us so frankly and well about this special way of organizing yourself mentally as a coping mechanism.
I realize now how little I knew about DID before I found you, and how harsh the stereotypes surrounding it all actually are.
Thank you SO MUCH for teaching me all of this.
You are extremely amazing at expressing yourself! Because I would be tongue-tied so many times trying to explain everything like this. I don’t know if you have rehearsed it or written it down a few times, but you just are very good at explaining so anybody can understand you no matter if we have gone through your experiences or not, and that is a very, amazing talent to have!❤
I love hearing your intro song, specially with headphoness
monBEbE
Whoever did the makeup before the filming of this video, it looks amazing! I genuinely want to start experimenting with colourful makeup rn😅
HI there! I just found your channel and I'm so fascinated. So excited to learn more about DID. Thanks so much for these videos!!!! Much love from Texas!
I am so happy to have found this channel, and you all! It helps me work with my partner, and understanding. I dont really know about how other partners of people with DID do it, but ive taken to writing a journal about each one of my partners alters, and I have found that it helps me to help them, although, I was wondering if any of you had some advice, because I'm just wanting to try and know more honestly. As much as I can. I dont know if it'd be considered right or not, but i originally and still do have a very... Scientific mind about it. It always intrigued me, and now more so than ever. So yeah!
Hello Chloe!! I love watching your channel! All of your videos are so informative! You seem so kind and sweet! And i love listening to you talk ;)
a lot of these terms I knew very little and/or nothing about, thank you for shining light on them :)
You're welcome love, we have a video on terms and key words coming too x
Thank you, I appreciate your experience and the way you express your truth. Understanding without stigma is invaluable.
Great channel, really informative - can I also say I love your starting music and graphics, your editing is fantastic too!
Thank you so much dear Chloe for explaining DID so expertly. You are very sweet and very intelligent. One of your subscribers, Vrinda Krishna 🙏🏼🌹✨❤️
I would love to learn more about DID, definitely need to know this information as an aspiring play therapist🌸 I love your channel
I hope you tube is paying you all this excellent videos, I study psychology on the 80’s always looking for more knowledge, you are one of my best teachers. I already worked with many children’s, adults with different types of mental problems but not a person with DID that I can say. I already saw 5 commercials on this video please make sure they pay you, I appreciate all your effort and teaching
I have DID and this is helping me understand some of my alters and you are very sweet for helping spread awareness on the reality of DID