PERSECUTORS - "EVIL" Personalities? | All About Alters Ep: 6 | Dissociative Identity Disorder

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  • Опубліковано 29 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 3,3 тис.

  • @user-rs1wc9qs3n
    @user-rs1wc9qs3n 4 роки тому +11707

    “Your trauma is not an excuse to traumatize others”. That hit different. If only the evil who started all of this could understand that.

    • @mikaylaparker9399
      @mikaylaparker9399 4 роки тому +299

      Jesse PD **cough cough** TRISHA MOTHERFREAKING PAYTAS

    • @bobabubbletea7141
      @bobabubbletea7141 4 роки тому +67

      *Satan* should have understood that.

    • @IrieRogue
      @IrieRogue 4 роки тому +41

      @@bobabubbletea7141 it understands, it just doesn't care to accept truth. The dimurge must deny the truth to remain as it is. It must believe that it alone is in control. Why relinquishing that control is so important for all of us.

    • @yuko2338
      @yuko2338 4 роки тому +3

      Miki fAcTs

    • @bobabubbletea7141
      @bobabubbletea7141 4 роки тому +8

      @@IrieRogue I dunno, maybe my brain is that of a 5 year old but, I couldn't understand what you said... lol. Could you explain? I feel so stupid.

  • @katherinereshetnikov8656
    @katherinereshetnikov8656 4 роки тому +5457

    I have DID. My former persecutor, Caitlyn, was watching this video. She used to be very aggressive and angry but after she watched this video, she was willing to be heard and to hear me and the other alters. She’s become a protector now and she’s happy and doesn’t hurt anyone anymore.

    • @arunimasharma9714
      @arunimasharma9714 4 роки тому +165

      That’s so awesome. Feel better💙

    • @katherinereshetnikov8656
      @katherinereshetnikov8656 4 роки тому +311

      Mia Liv Lilholt Christensen Believe me it wasn’t. Before this video, Caitlyn lashed out at everybody for no reason and hurt the body. The other Alters even considered locking her away in the cave. It was really difficult but thankfully she’s past that now and is one of our strongest protectors. So don’t worry! Everything will turn out ok.

    • @arunimasharma9714
      @arunimasharma9714 4 роки тому +115

      Katherine Reshetnikov Don’t be bothered honey. You don’t have to justify yourself to anyone. Take care💙

    • @katherinereshetnikov8656
      @katherinereshetnikov8656 4 роки тому +58

      Arunima Sharma Thank you so much and you take care too!

    • @toniafoxferguson86
      @toniafoxferguson86 4 роки тому +7

      I had this feeling to.

  • @sailorqtpie
    @sailorqtpie 4 роки тому +2375

    The worst part of this is knowing that they went through pain as a child

    • @inezfragasmith763
      @inezfragasmith763 4 роки тому +196

      @SharkTank what is wrong with you? People with DID have gone through incredible trauma at such a young age that most people won't ever experience. Respect others and don't just blurt out what you think is obvious.

    • @tobymacabre
      @tobymacabre 4 роки тому +106

      i know it makes me so SOOOO mad that many people have this because of childhood trauma. whoever hurt these systems, i’m gonna throw hands.

    • @AdorabubbleDragon
      @AdorabubbleDragon 4 роки тому +65

      I wish UA-cam had a care button. Because I don’t want to “like” this comment, but I wholeheartedly agree with it

    • @icebird1800
      @icebird1800 4 роки тому +93

      Even worse, it's REPEATED childhood trauma.

    • @meganmcleod6152
      @meganmcleod6152 4 роки тому +3

      SharkTank not like that.. rude

  • @EmareeVA
    @EmareeVA 4 роки тому +17051

    I do not have DID.
    I do not wish to have DID.
    I do not wish ANYONE to have DID.
    I do not wish YOU to have DID.
    But I wish that people understood that people are suffering from DID, and that it's real, and it's frightening.

    • @glitterlover3244
      @glitterlover3244 4 роки тому +592

      Belsom thank you so much for this. My host has had so many friends who would joke around about having it, or naming their emotions so they could be like us, and so so many other things. Some people think of it as a tumblr fad and go ‘lol Im so cooky.’ Sometimes it feels like the only people who understand are others who had extremely bad trauma. Thank you for your kind words. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜-Sarah

    • @runningwiththewolves8284
      @runningwiththewolves8284 4 роки тому +244

      Glitter Lover I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through that... you and your entire system deserve to feel supported and loved. I don’t have DID, but I have suffered with mental illness and I completely know what’s it’s like to have people act like it’s a joke, or that it’s nothing. I hope you always remember that there are lots of people who understand and care, and that you’re not alone :)
      Wishing you a wonderful day full of happiness, and all the best 💛💛💛💛💛

    • @glitterlover3244
      @glitterlover3244 4 роки тому +195

      killjoy clikkie hi this is actually the new alter, my names Kendell. Thank you so much for your responce, Sarah wrote the first comment and Ive found out she is very protective. Thank you for understanding and not thinking of it as a joke, I havent been here to long but I can already tell people like making jokes about these things. Im sorry you have to handle mental illnesses in other ways, I hope you have a wonderful day.
      -Kendell

    • @runningwiththewolves8284
      @runningwiththewolves8284 4 роки тому +50

      You as well :)

    • @Mar-velousMarlenak8
      @Mar-velousMarlenak8 4 роки тому +23

      Well said!

  • @ario7210
    @ario7210 5 років тому +3866

    My persecutor is now my greatest protector. He understands and he even had therapy with one of my therapists. And with communication through her and him to me, it made me understand him and he is learning to relax now that we are safe.

    • @kimberlyp4071
      @kimberlyp4071 4 роки тому +93

      I'm sorry, I know that this is an old comment, but I'm curious. Because you're all different people will the therapist still follow dr-pt confidentiality with all the alters? Or is everything freely shared between everyone?

    • @mackaylacook148
      @mackaylacook148 4 роки тому +59

      @@kimberlyp4071 oh that is interesting I wonder if dr-pt confidentiality applys to alters as well or if things are shared between alters with things like therapy and the like

    • @kimberlyp4071
      @kimberlyp4071 4 роки тому +46

      @@mackaylacook148 yeah especially if it's a trauma that they don't want a little or a teen alter knowing about 🤔 Maybe it just depends based on the alters and the therapist

    • @kerri8037
      @kerri8037 4 роки тому +77

      @@mackaylacook148 I imagine that there is no legal dr-pt confidentiality but morally there would be - it is dangerous for an individual in a system to learn about a memory before they are ready.

    • @mackaylacook148
      @mackaylacook148 4 роки тому +6

      @@kimberlyp4071 yeah that's true

  • @anim5572
    @anim5572 4 роки тому +927

    My 5 yr old son just screamed loudly in my ear "i love her rainbow hair"

    • @lulu486
      @lulu486 4 роки тому +19

      Hahaha Aw That’s so cute! She indeed has amazing hair in this video!

    • @Meandtheotherone_haha
      @Meandtheotherone_haha 3 роки тому +5

      So cute!!!🥺🥺

    • @Whiskypapa
      @Whiskypapa 3 роки тому +5

      The 5 year old in me did the same lol

    • @isabelgee5062
      @isabelgee5062 3 роки тому +1

      it is awesome. im so jealous

    • @resourceress7
      @resourceress7 3 роки тому +3

      My 44 year old said the same.

  • @georgerobins4110
    @georgerobins4110 5 років тому +2421

    Our primary protector is an ex-persecutor and the thing that helped her the most was our very patient friends who showed her that insulting and verbally harassing people isn’t something she has to do anymore. Our best friend in particular really helped her.

    • @lilster8968
      @lilster8968 4 роки тому +4

      💞💕💓💗

    • @lpsfankanr1
      @lpsfankanr1 4 роки тому +9

      That's amazing! Really proud of your primary potector/ex-persecutor, your friends and your whole system!

    • @tacticianmatt3791
      @tacticianmatt3791 3 місяці тому +1

      This is so encouraging for me to hear... As a friend to someone with a severely wounded persecutor, it gives me hope that if I'm persistent I can maybe help especially if I can prove that I'm not the same immature weak child I was years ago...

  • @Laurenjoinsyoutube
    @Laurenjoinsyoutube 4 роки тому +2871

    I get so sad knowing someones primary role is to hold onto the memories and traumatic experiences and they can never release those thoughts

    • @Angela1111122222
      @Angela1111122222 4 роки тому +69

      But at the same time when you suffered through trauma and don't have DID you're also forced to hold onto those thoughts and memories (in my case for a long time feeling even defined by them) and the pain can be eased by work the way persecutors can become protectors
      It's not the same thing exactly and I think most people prefer not having DID or ever be persecutors but it's still analogical
      It just made me feel weird the whole "you can never release it"
      "Normally" not a single part of you can release it
      Edit: That said I agree with you it also makes me very concerned for them and wish them much love it's just a strange way to put it

    • @caitlynduncan6414
      @caitlynduncan6414 4 роки тому +30

      I felt that... Like it is sad that there is one primary alter dedicated to holding in all of the bad and it makes me teary eyed

    • @shadesofrose7
      @shadesofrose7 4 роки тому +1

      )

    • @kasa9884
      @kasa9884 4 роки тому +3

      It reminds me slightly of children's novel The Giver.

    • @caitlinsomers3600
      @caitlinsomers3600 4 роки тому +6

      @@Angela1111122222 I know you’re bitter and I’m not saying that in a rude way, but it’s dripping through your entire comment and I recognized that immediately because unfortunately, I function like that sometimes.
      You are you. Your trauma is your trauma. And you’d put it as you’d put it.
      But the comment is 100% fine you know, it’s YOU who doesn’t like the wording because of YOUR own experience.
      I just wanted to say that because I know that you’re aware of that. Just a reminder that your trauma and the ways you handle it are valid as it is, you don’t have to drag someone else’s point of view in order to make your own feel more valid.

  • @paracosmicsystem8553
    @paracosmicsystem8553 4 роки тому +6565

    Hey, persecutor here.
    I'm trying to get better. It's, uh, slow going. I was looking for videos on how persecutors can like improve? And this wasn't quite that, but it was really good anyways. I uh. I definitely cried at least a little, wow.
    I. uh
    I feel really... seen.
    Thank you for this.
    -Cody

    • @archer8771
      @archer8771 4 роки тому +1311

      I'm a little late to reply to this, Cody, but I'm proud of you from trying to improve! I'm a protector, and I'm currently trying to help a persecutor in our system, Maxwell. It might take a while to get better, but I have faith in you! You can do it! You are seen, OK? I have no idea who you are, but I love you, OK? Stay strong!
      -Danny

    • @ShadSamD
      @ShadSamD 4 роки тому +502

      I want to hug you Cody

    • @lizard_man4379
      @lizard_man4379 4 роки тому +227

      Just do stuff that make you happy and tell people nice things, trust me it makes you feel good too

    • @valcalmets6233
      @valcalmets6233 4 роки тому +139

      We all know how difficult it is to change. Keep your head up❤

    • @professionalobese5529
      @professionalobese5529 4 роки тому +80

      @@pedroalgo3990 let's give him the benefit of the doubt I guess ? That's not very nice to be rude to strangers like that.

  • @ChainmailMelanie
    @ChainmailMelanie 5 років тому +4444

    It almost feels like Jade was co-con in the way Chloe sometimes held herself and spoke, so stern and strict and yet elegant. :D And that hair and makeup combo is a smash hit!

    • @miriamhappe1066
      @miriamhappe1066 5 років тому +93

      i thought of the same thing

    • @thnkredd
      @thnkredd 5 років тому +251

      I was wondering who was up front. I heard changes in voice, tone, & accents, but I am still learning who is who.

    • @alahnaduplantis1422
      @alahnaduplantis1422 5 років тому +18

      Yea that’s what I though :)

    • @starbittenpixieboy
      @starbittenpixieboy 5 років тому +65

      Maybe she was close

    • @littlemj90
      @littlemj90 5 років тому +189

      I thought the same. I felt jade's stare

  • @ayshabee8603
    @ayshabee8603 5 років тому +5377

    We see you, we hear you, we feel for you and we're so sorry" - I'm the persecutor and as soon as I heard you I could not stop crying. This is so hard. I'm reliving the trauma as if I'm that 8 yr old right now and there's nobody to understand. I don't want to hurt our friends so I've distanced myself from them. I just wish I was dead most of the time and people would be better off without me.
    This is so hard. Thank u for listening.n

    • @DissociaDID
      @DissociaDID  5 років тому +1894

      You're needed, wanted and important. Things will change. I'm so sorry

    • @BriarPatchNyra
      @BriarPatchNyra 5 років тому +380

      I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with this, you are as important as everyone else, I believe in you and know things will improve ❤️

    • @ifloatupwards
      @ifloatupwards 4 роки тому +207

      Everyone is here on this planet for a reason. We are all worthy of love and acceptance. At times we might think that we are not worthy but no matter who you are... you do have an impact on those around you and the world wouldn't be better without you because you are contributing to make it a better place.

    • @youreamess915
      @youreamess915 4 роки тому +105

      If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. No one should feel so alone.

    • @maddiedraws5777
      @maddiedraws5777 4 роки тому +91

      I'm sure this is very hard, I hope you (and your whole system) feel better soon, or at least feel less pain:) I love you, keep up the good fight

  • @ohcdoe1880
    @ohcdoe1880 4 роки тому +1899

    TRIGGER WARNING:
    mention of self harm and abuse
    One of our alters who is the persecutor targets one of our littles. She'll hurt the body then make Tee front (This happened three days ago.)
    She blames our little for being too young, too helpless to protect the body. She blames her for the physical and emotional pain our father put us through. When our persecutor first made herself known she immediately hated Tee because she reminded of herself when she was in a bad situation.
    We're struggling trying to accept her when she is scarring the body and hurting one of our littles. We want to take care of the body and Tee and we want to try accept her but she makes it very difficult.
    ~Maddie

    • @angela_flute52689
      @angela_flute52689 4 роки тому +212

      I'm sorry you're all struggling like this. I hope you can find a way to communicate with each other and a therapist to find some solutions that are more helpful.

    • @stickwittaglocc7563
      @stickwittaglocc7563 4 роки тому +33

      Oof , that’s big tuff

    • @skimmerskies9288
      @skimmerskies9288 4 роки тому +73

      That's a really tough situation, have you spoken with your persecutor about it?

    • @ohcdoe1880
      @ohcdoe1880 4 роки тому +125

      @@skimmerskies9288 We've all tried, my partner and therapist have been trying but she's not interested :/

    • @FileCode1459
      @FileCode1459 4 роки тому +96

      is there a way you could make her watch this video? maybe hearing from another person with DID she'll try to understand. also, i don't want to put your system in a bad situation having her fronting, idk how your system works, so i'm sorry if this isn't a very good advice. i hope you find the best way to talk to her and deal with her soon. sending you positive energy

  • @bilibili68
    @bilibili68 5 років тому +4987

    I know Ruby hates talking to the camera, but a video from her perspective and about how she became a protector would be amazingly informative! Possibly also very helpful for other persecutors in other systems. Maybe she can write down something that another alter more comfortable with the camera could read to us?

    • @ziachetty7018
      @ziachetty7018 4 роки тому +59

      She prefers to not talk about her trauma

    • @gabriel7283
      @gabriel7283 4 роки тому +181

      @@ziachetty7018 He didn't ask her to, he asked about how she became a protector.

    • @anonymousperson6228
      @anonymousperson6228 4 роки тому +50

      Those might be related.

    • @seaztheday4418
      @seaztheday4418 4 роки тому +24

      I really got the feeling that Ruby was close to the front for a lot of this video. Something in the eyes said to me that she was near

    • @JustAnotherLondoner
      @JustAnotherLondoner 4 роки тому +9

      @@seaztheday4418 yeah I thought that too. Lots of eye contact and the serious tone/to the point way shes speaking

  • @anafdez2112
    @anafdez2112 5 років тому +8542

    As a non DID person, I love this channel. I feel like I'm honestly educating myself. I've always found psychology and psychiatry fascinating, and I command you for the work that you do.
    This is also helping me a lot with understanding the general dynamics of trauma, which I really appreciate, because it helps me help myself as well as knowing how to truly be supportive of others.
    I love you guys, honestly ❤️

    • @dabarecats9485
      @dabarecats9485 4 роки тому +8

      420'th like

    • @MsHermyGranger
      @MsHermyGranger 4 роки тому +15

      I want to be a psychiatrist, so this is very very helpful!

    • @apothnisko
      @apothnisko 4 роки тому +33

      Commend*

    • @Jiyuww
      @Jiyuww 4 роки тому +24

      I'm sorry but I just want suggest that maybe the word you were looking for is "commend" instead of "command". Comand is an order, and commend is in a way, praise or compliment.

    • @kristag5768
      @kristag5768 4 роки тому +1

      I agree to this comment 100%.

  • @Poisoned.angel.x
    @Poisoned.angel.x 4 роки тому +946

    When u started talking about how unfair and painful being a persecutor is i started crying. Im the persecutor in our system and its horrible. Thank you so much for this, youre helping so many people systems or just people who want to know about it.

    • @thethirdtime9168
      @thethirdtime9168 4 роки тому +79

      It ain't fair to you to have this exisitence, and I hope you manage to find your way. If you need any help or support, I'd personally be willing to talk to you if you need it.
      I wish you the best, with all of my heart.

    • @Lyssabooo
      @Lyssabooo 3 роки тому +11

      My hearts with you, I don’t want DID I don’t want anyone to have DID but I wish I could understand people with DID better, but I don’t think I could understand more unless I had it

  • @luisxan9620
    @luisxan9620 4 роки тому +2638

    when i look at the conments dang are there really a lot of people with DID?!? keep safe all of you🥺

    • @jeanijns
      @jeanijns 4 роки тому +246

      Inni Uy actually circa 1% of thé population is diagnosed with did, that means roughly 75,270,000 people, but probably there’s so much more that aren’t diagnosed at all, especially in third world countries where mental health is the least of their problems

    • @july4376
      @july4376 4 роки тому +236

      i always forget how much 1-3% of the world is because it sounds like such a small amount but out of the whole world it’s so many people

    • @am5ters504
      @am5ters504 4 роки тому +153

      But then it makes me really sad to know that this many people were traumatized to such an extent as a child..... its fucking horrible

    • @dejahall3500
      @dejahall3500 4 роки тому +71

      It also may seem like a lot because many people who have DID come to this channel because it’s so amazing and helpful to people who have it and even people who don’t! :)

    • @quinnsinclair7028
      @quinnsinclair7028 4 роки тому +42

      The statistic for the number of people with DID is the same as that for people born with red hair. Think about that for a second.

  • @janiechr
    @janiechr 5 років тому +5189

    i felt jade's energy a lot during this video. she has such a way of making people listen to her

    • @Froginia
      @Froginia 5 років тому +58

      I felt the same thing during watching this.

    • @januarywynter6632
      @januarywynter6632 5 років тому +442

      Y’all over here like “I can see Kyle” or “I see some of Jade” I’m just over here like “I go by who they say is out”

    • @ryh.5589
      @ryh.5589 5 років тому +131

      January Wynter I think they just meant who may be co-conscious but I also agree, too

    • @Ishinehappiness
      @Ishinehappiness 5 років тому +37

      @@januarywynter6632 time stamp me if I'm wrong but I don't recall seeing anything about who was out in the beginning. Just the channel name

    • @januarywynter6632
      @januarywynter6632 5 років тому +34

      Melissa Joy me neither. I think some people are just really good at noticing things like that or the traits and facial expressions of the different alters.

  • @2134x3
    @2134x3 4 роки тому +697

    I'm not even affected by the topic, but this video deeply moved me

  • @Kate-dm6dd
    @Kate-dm6dd 5 років тому +2174

    I would love to hear Ruby's side of being a persecutor turned protector. You all are bringing so much light to this disorder. Thank you!!

    • @izabellaochnorahorselove9619
      @izabellaochnorahorselove9619 5 років тому +9

      Yes!!!

    • @matthewkehoe5027
      @matthewkehoe5027 5 років тому +3

      good Idea!

    • @flippinkatbug
      @flippinkatbug 5 років тому +56

      In the meet the altars videos, Ruby thought it was stupid. Not sure if she meant that video is stupid or the whole channel.
      Another altar, whos a protector, thinks this channel is dangerous.

    • @3434-b1u
      @3434-b1u 5 років тому +1

      @@flippinkatbug Who thinks that this channel is dangerous?

    • @flippinkatbug
      @flippinkatbug 5 років тому +7

      @@3434-b1u jade. idk if she thinks that anymore though.

  • @alinasparow5258
    @alinasparow5258 5 років тому +823

    One of my persecutors instantly became friendlier the moment I asked for her name, instead of just calling her bitch. Since then she's become a lot nicer and less of a persecutor. She stopped self harming, destroying relationships both inside and outside of the system

  • @eccedentesiast2328
    @eccedentesiast2328 4 роки тому +368

    The number of alters she has makes me wonder how much trauma she has went through, I can't imagine how much fear and loneliness she must have felt during those traumas... No one deserves to go through so much like that at a young age. And I give her my respect for staying strong like that. . .

    • @angelicitema9761
      @angelicitema9761 4 роки тому +35

      Some systems I know told me that alters form depending on how well the system can manage trauma, rather than how much they have. (If any systems read this and I am wrong please let me know, I don't mean to act as if I know things that I don't and would never want to spread misinfo.)

    • @goreandhoodies3626
      @goreandhoodies3626 4 роки тому +24

      I've heard form this channel that the alters can become one or split up in a way to make new alters or if something even small happens a new one can be created it depends on the system (I don't have did if anything I'd this is wrong feel free to correct)

    • @angelicitema9761
      @angelicitema9761 4 роки тому +11

      @@goreandhoodies3626 I've also heard this before, the systems I know call it integration and splitting. I'm not sure how it works though.
      My *guess* is that it might be more common with polyfragmented systems just knowing that they have the most alters, but again it's just an inference so I have no idea.

    • @scifigrl92
      @scifigrl92 4 роки тому +2

      How many alters does she have

    • @emilyccherry
      @emilyccherry 4 роки тому +2

      @@scifigrl92 im not sure exactly but its in the 20s

  • @kanemartin3043
    @kanemartin3043 5 років тому +2524

    My persecutor came out to "meet" my friend (who knows we're a system) and was very displeased to find out I had warned them of her. She wanted to tell my friend things that I've never told anyone. They reacted by saying they would respect my privacy and not read any messages until I was back in the front.
    That shocked her so much that she immediately fled and I could front again. My friend and I talked a bit afterwards and they linked me this video. It's amazing, and it helped me to understand persecutors a bit better, so thank you all. And I think people would benefit from seeing a video from a former persecutor's perspective.
    Thank you for your amazing videos!
    With love from the south, USA:
    The Wolf Pack
    [Host writes]

    • @ForgedSunshine
      @ForgedSunshine 5 років тому +110

      Kane Martin you have a great friend!

    • @labmemberkurisu
      @labmemberkurisu 4 роки тому +95

      you have an amazing friend!! keep them close 💌💌

    • @doubleslashkarma
      @doubleslashkarma 4 роки тому +11

      I'm from the South USA too! What state? I'm from Alabama.

    • @squeakyratgaming
      @squeakyratgaming 4 роки тому +11

      You have the most amazing friend, warms my heart to hear this 🥰

  • @MissSweetie
    @MissSweetie 5 років тому +1756

    My boyfriend, whom I love so so so much always talk about his "bad" alter when we're discussing about his alters (he really tries to control them, he doesn't like most of his alters)
    I never liked to see him calling an alter bad. I never talked to that alter (he controls the body very well, the times where I had contact with some of his alters were really short), but the fact that he (and as it seems, one more alter that I talked to) calls that specific alter "bad" just makes me worried. I am glad I found this video and can share it with him.

  • @kysky3405
    @kysky3405 4 роки тому +841

    My girlfriend has DID, since I've learned about it this channel along with a lot of personal research I've been doing into it has help us so much. Sadly she never had support from others before (both because of people she was with before refusing to learn/help and herself not seeking that help) but we are working through it just got her a first appointment with a dissociative disorder therapist and my dream is to have her persecutors feel heard and safe. Thanks for making your channel and giving people the information they need to start understanding themselves and their loved ones :)

    • @shelboney
      @shelboney 4 роки тому +46

      even though you would expect this behavior to be more common you truly are a wonderful person for trying to be loving and understanding no matter what much respect to you!

    • @thunderbird7936
      @thunderbird7936 4 роки тому +3

      Hope everything worked out well!

    • @NicestAHole
      @NicestAHole 4 роки тому +9

      My wife just developed did 9 months ago. It's put all of our future plans on hold for now. Thank you for sharing a little bit of hope. I feel like I've lost her forever she just isn't the same. What devastates me the most is that her persecuter really hates me, & we've been together for 15 years ,I'm the only person she has in life right now.

    • @tonidouglas5607
      @tonidouglas5607 4 роки тому +1

      itsShelbeh definitely shouldn’t be so uncommon to see support manifest in this way between people, but Kyle, you’re a beautiful human, and the love you have for your gf is so obvious.

    • @caitlinsomers3600
      @caitlinsomers3600 4 роки тому +16

      @@NicestAHole I don’t wanna be an asshole but... for now, maybe try make it less about you?! Also, what do you mean she just developed DID? That’s literally impossible.

  • @forestrt1632
    @forestrt1632 5 років тому +4873

    Did nadia choose the hair colour? Because I love it

    • @clownbraiinz
      @clownbraiinz 5 років тому +419

      She chose it about a year ago around, and you can see it in the journal video ♡

    • @aster7986
      @aster7986 5 років тому +151

      Same! The hair and makeup are gorgeous. T^T

    • @salemluna9533
      @salemluna9533 5 років тому +74

      She did! Should check their Instagram 👀

    • @expiredoats9953
      @expiredoats9953 5 років тому +47

      I definitely agree! Her hair is so colorful, I think it's beautiful!

    • @LilithTheQueenHell
      @LilithTheQueenHell 5 років тому +4

      Whos nadia?

  • @WTIV-w2s
    @WTIV-w2s 4 роки тому +318

    as a non-neurodiverse person, i have to tell you all; it has been an immense pleasure and privilege to learn about this disorder through a system that is so committed to informing people on the truth. i want to thank each and everyone of you (who are both willing to be apart of the channel and those who aren’t) for being so vulnerable, allowing us to learn from you despite all you’ve been through. you all as a system and as individuals will forever have my gratitude and respect, thank you so much.

    • @goreandhoodies3626
      @goreandhoodies3626 4 роки тому +3

      Non-neurodiverse= neurotypical 😁 that's the word for "normal" people 🖤 have a good day

  • @Siahmese
    @Siahmese Рік тому +75

    DID is truly terrible when I learned I had it. I had a mental breakdown because I was so scared. My persecutor is named Edward and is so much like my biological father (my main abuser), and he does things like yell at other alters for being sad and things of that sort. One time, when I was having a mental breakdown, my protector Scarlett was trying to calm me and be there for me, but Edward was screaming and representing physical abuse done on my body for having emotions of sadness.

  • @hashtagmate
    @hashtagmate 5 років тому +1579

    I "only" have ptsd but i feel so validated and respected and inspired when i watch your videos!! You guys are great

    • @chimken7097
      @chimken7097 4 роки тому +103

      hashtagmate it’s not only man, you went through trauma and we are all here for you. Don’t downplay yourself as that can lead down a bad path, take care of urself and have an amazing day

    • @phoenixdavida8987
      @phoenixdavida8987 4 роки тому +11

      That's awesome.

  • @rebekka8296
    @rebekka8296 5 років тому +516

    We as a system decided not to call our main persecutor by the name he chose (monster) but use a real name instead so he would understand that this isnt how he is deemed to be

    • @caitlinjopepe541
      @caitlinjopepe541 5 років тому +73

      That's sweet as heck

    • @LE4F4
      @LE4F4 5 років тому +36

      Amazing! I hope your main persecutor is going to be able to see himself as more than just a monster to despise. Everyone deserves love!
      Best of luck to your system 💖

    • @rebekka8296
      @rebekka8296 5 років тому +2

      @@LE4F4 🧡

    • @ghyslainabel
      @ghyslainabel 5 років тому +105

      @@rebekka8296 I do not know it it may be useful, but why not show your persecutor the movie Monsters, Inc.? Not all monsters have to be scary, and some scary monsters can also be sweet and protective.
      Take care.

    • @rebekka8296
      @rebekka8296 5 років тому +29

      @@ghyslainabel that's a lovely Idea, although its a little more complicated than that🧡

  • @alienfrompluto7305
    @alienfrompluto7305 4 роки тому +402

    I won't go into details of my two persecutors but one named Ruby (as well) has decided to try to heal themself from the trauma and learn to live with it and become more accepted in my system (they had got into multiple fights between my main protector/avenger and one of my other alters and would personally attack me and another headmate) and I decided to watch this, they were looking over listening and there were tears streaming down their face, we didn't realize that for years they were holding in anger and pain, hearing this made them get that load off their chest because they felt so alone with handling everything they went through, and now knowing that they aren't alone in this has helped them feel like they can TRULY try to heal as we help them work through this after 15 or so years,,, I know this is like an out of the blue comment but this even helped us figure out the reason my second persecutor is here, and I guess what could be said is we really appreciate the "we see you we feel you and we're sorry".. it really helped in this sense- core/current host

    • @stephaniesoh3273
      @stephaniesoh3273 4 роки тому +14

      I'm so happy for you and I hope you're doing good now, just started watching videos from this channel, and honestly people with DID like you are so brave and I just admire you so so much. I acknowledge your pain and everything you've gone through. I really hope you're happy now

    • @alienfrompluto7305
      @alienfrompluto7305 4 роки тому +3

      @Gabriela n I've heard of one alter, but I think the official diagnosis lists 2 i cant fully remember, and integration is different than fronting or switching but there can be multiple at the front or up there to say

  • @deathsembrace
    @deathsembrace 5 років тому +1399

    She said, “we see you” and we burst into tears. Thank you so much for this video. This meant so much.

  • @divinelyevilatheart
    @divinelyevilatheart 5 років тому +2132

    I am a psychology major and have always been interested in DID. I must say that this channel is amazing. Keep doing what you are doing. Spread awareness and encourage others. You guys are an inspiration, and you have my full support. Love you guys!

    • @chloecollins7513
      @chloecollins7513 4 роки тому +4

      i might major in psychology, do you like it?

    • @coreee5677
      @coreee5677 4 роки тому +3

      bro me too! i find the disorder very interesting and has a lot of depth to it

    • @EjvindGEMDark
      @EjvindGEMDark 4 роки тому +6

      @@chloecollins7513 I did my degree in psychology. It's very interesting - if you want to use it as a career you definitely need further education though.

    • @desteny1393
      @desteny1393 4 роки тому

      EjvindGEMDark what career are you thinking abt picking if it involves psychology?

  • @equinesisters9781
    @equinesisters9781 4 роки тому +503

    People who want DID remind me of "straight pride parades". Seeing people with good, ignoring the bad that happened, and wanting the good they have.

    • @bucketobviously5499
      @bucketobviously5499 4 роки тому +11

      you worded this so well,

    • @manifestationsofasort
      @manifestationsofasort 3 роки тому +5

      @Oksana I've had people say that about my schizophrenia too, and it's just like... why would you want this??

    • @isabelgee5062
      @isabelgee5062 3 роки тому +6

      beautiful. just beautiful. I don't have D.I.D and I don't want to have it, and I don't want anyone else to have it. All I want is for those with D.I.D and O.S.D.D to be safe, get the help they need, and to live their best lives

  • @isabelknighton
    @isabelknighton 5 років тому +1236

    I love how you state (honestly) that you are scared of persecutors, but you still respect them. I find that SO admirable, they're hurting. I absolutely love this channel as well, and as soon as I can I want to send a care package. Have a good day!!

  • @andreaatkinson2251
    @andreaatkinson2251 5 років тому +612

    I had never even heard of DID until I met someone over a year ago and we became friends. She has a persecutor who wants out so badly he is willing to destroy the body a bit at a time. From my experiences with my friend there is nothing good about DID. She lives a life of torment and it is literally 24 hours a day. No switch off, no lunch break, just constant. It breaks my heart to talk to her and I have had conversations with the persecutor and I can feel his pain every time we speak. I wish I could do more to help her. I fear that she won’t be alive much longer. What makes it so much worse is she treats everyone else with such kindness and love. She is a very special person.

    • @drekinz
      @drekinz 5 років тому +53

      im so sorry to hear. i hope you're taking care of yourself. i know somewhat how it feels, the fear of that happening. please take care of yourself, and stay strong. I hope she'll be okay

    • @cecefernandes5657
      @cecefernandes5657 5 років тому +33

      I'm so sorry to hear about you and your friend. Be sure to take care of yourself and just continue to be a good friend to them. A little love can go a long way for some people💖

    • @ivyedan7183
      @ivyedan7183 5 років тому +3

      I hate that for her..can she try to lock them away or try to get psychiatrist to intigrate threw hypnosis or sodium pentethal

    • @AndDy934
      @AndDy934 5 років тому +6

      There is nothing good of what made someone have DID I’m so sorry abt your friend I’m glad that at least she is not alone, she has you and their alters to help each other, i really hope your friend gets better and the persecutor to heal, to find a healthy way to deal with everything that he/she knows, they are of the strongest alters cuz they hold an immense amount of trauma.
      Best wishes ✨

    • @AndDy934
      @AndDy934 5 років тому +18

      Ivy Edan okay but that isn’t good for the system

  • @ezzzarb1535
    @ezzzarb1535 4 роки тому +109

    I'm 16 and I've started to become aware of my own altars, I was terrified at first I would just black out for hours and come to in a different place. I came across your channel and your videos have helped me so much so thank you for speaking on such an important subject

  • @CamiCushing
    @CamiCushing 5 років тому +741

    Holy shit. I don’t think I’ve ever been so “spoken to” by one of your videos before. Crying in the car outside of a Walmart right now with my boyfriend listening to this. I’m having a very very hard time accepting that I most likely have DID. Thankfully he’s very supportive as I figure it out with my psychologist and psychiatrist. Thank you so much for doing this video. I’ve never heard of self-harm explained in such a way. Thank you for doing a serious video on this subject. I feel like I’m used to all the positive videos on our pain and almost felt like I was “doing it wrong” or not being positive enough and that makes me a weak person. This was, funnily enough, the most supportive and uplifting message you’ve ever given before. The anecdote of having scars from “blacking out” is terrifying and I have the same kind of scars on my ankle and thighs. I get it. Thank you for your videos. This shit IS heavy. Which is why I think you’re so brave for talking about it. Thank you.
    If it’s not too much to ask, I would really appreciate a video from one of your persecutors point of views. Hearing from someone who has the same coping mechanisms helps immensely to not feel as alone.
    Much love,
    Rebecca

    • @justnailahhh
      @justnailahhh 5 років тому +22

      Cami Cushing Sending you so much love and warm hugs

    • @CamiCushing
      @CamiCushing 5 років тому +6

      nais world thanks lady ❤️

    • @m.e.o.w.p.u.r.r
      @m.e.o.w.p.u.r.r 5 років тому +20

      Cami Cushing i feel “spoken to” also. Triggered slightly, and moved to tears. Really glad I watched this.
      I hope you continue to discover your true self(selves) and good luck with your healing 💗

    • @Anna-cu7iz
      @Anna-cu7iz 5 років тому +11

      I’m so glad that you have supportive people in your life. Best of luck moving forward!!

    • @jaheriawilson19
      @jaheriawilson19 5 років тому +10

      Even as someone without DID, this video hit hard 🙇 I'm just so grateful for all of these DID-based channels-- especially DissociaDID-- that are working so hard to educate anyone and everyone.
      Anyway, I know it's so much easier said than done, but please continue to stay strong, Rebecca. You (and your system) _will_ get through this! 💛

  • @vickytaa1
    @vickytaa1 4 роки тому +766

    TW: abuse and consequences after getting out of the abusive situation.
    What you said about trauma, that thing you said "we replicate the abuse we received, because if we are doing it, then the abuser won't". It really resonated with me. I don't have DID or any disorder that I know of, but i have suffered abuse for prolonged periods of time before. After I got out of the situation, I started hurting myself in similar ways my abuser would. It's a hard thing to deal with.
    Edit, 8 months later: I started therapy some months ago and my mental health has gotten much better! Thank you so much to everyone who left kind words or a like in the comment. 🙏

    • @halliewebber8198
      @halliewebber8198 4 роки тому +17

      Sending love your way. Your struggles, and you, are so valid

    • @rafkahanna9538
      @rafkahanna9538 4 роки тому +15

      I'm so sorry for what you have been through. ❤❤ sending love your way❤❤

    • @vickytaa1
      @vickytaa1 4 роки тому +1

      @@halliewebber8198 thank you so much!!

    • @vickytaa1
      @vickytaa1 4 роки тому

      @@rafkahanna9538 thank you for your kind words

    • @vickytaa1
      @vickytaa1 4 роки тому

      @@randomperson1934 thank you!

  • @justariane3241
    @justariane3241 4 роки тому +277

    People actually want DID!!!! Those people are crazy!!! That's like asking for trauma!

    • @goreandhoodies3626
      @goreandhoodies3626 4 роки тому +15

      It is asking for trama and alot of people do this with adhd and even
      TW
      Cūtting or sëlf härm in general
      All they see is the "good parts" aka the good parts they make up

    • @dannililiac
      @dannililiac 4 роки тому +44

      Personal experience:
      I used to want DID
      I was abused as a child. I was constantly bullied at school and would go back to an even worse place. I was so alone bc the people who were supposed to be there for me were the ones causing harm. I wanted DID so i wouldnt be alone anymore. I felt like my own brain turned against me bc I didnt want to be alone and i had trauma so 'why didnt I get the other people? At least I wouldnt be alone anymore'
      I am 19 now and fully understand that my reasoning was wrong and do not wish for it and am not alone anymore.
      My view is that the impressonal children on this site don't understand what it takes to get this and by the time they would see these videos they are (luckily) too old to develop it

    • @shrutis
      @shrutis 4 роки тому +8

      @@dannililiac I understand you and I felt the same for a long time
      but now that I'm older (17) I have now healthy ways to cope up with my trauma
      I hope you're doing well too

    • @dragonsaway9710
      @dragonsaway9710 4 роки тому +7

      I don't think they want the trauma or the persecuters, just system that would be with you

    • @painslut
      @painslut 4 роки тому +3

      There's certainly peoples who want the trauma because they want to hurt themself, I've already met someone like that, sad to see...

  • @saturnbebe1635
    @saturnbebe1635 5 років тому +530

    Felt jade being co conscious w the piercing stern look.

  • @emcohnway
    @emcohnway 5 років тому +710

    I started researching DID because i was sick of people mixing it up with schizophrenia (which my mother had) and joking about it. I've grown to respect people with this disorder. If you have DID (or any other mental disorder) I want to let you know that I am proud of you for fighting and not giving up. Love you all❤

    • @bloopsoup7421
      @bloopsoup7421 5 років тому +6

      Equine Emma thank you

    • @amandalima9176
      @amandalima9176 5 років тому +1

      Same here. My aunt has schizophrenia and I feel for her situation. Everyone around her is so hostile, treat her as a burden and at times as a joke and she believes them. It hurts me to see it. As a kid, children would laugh and say mean things even to my cousin. It was harsh. I wanted to be there for her and maybe raise awareness about mental disorders and disabilities, for that I need to educate myself first. Also, I think your mom is very proud of you for being empathetic, understanding and just saying these kind words without any other intentions behind it ❤

    • @wolfgangruca7130
      @wolfgangruca7130 5 років тому

      @[thecrystalwitch] THATS NOT FUNNY AT ALL SO SHUT UP

    • @Limonenmixgetraenk
      @Limonenmixgetraenk 5 років тому +1

      @@wolfgangruca7130 I don't know what they thought, but it looks like they wrote a different sentence and forgot to erase the "funny"? Looks like some typo kind of thing to me, when they meant that it is disrespectful to make fun of someone for something they can't change.

    • @wolfgangruca7130
      @wolfgangruca7130 5 років тому +1

      @@Limonenmixgetraenk Yeah she forgot to erase it I am just letting her know that's why I said shut up to her lol 😂 if she's realizing my comment I am just letting her know to erase funny

  • @filominagavra9341
    @filominagavra9341 4 роки тому +290

    thank you.
    Hi, I’m the host of my system that was one of the persecutors, I just wanna say that she has gotten better since this video

    • @leacruz5248
      @leacruz5248 4 роки тому +6

      Thats really good I'm so proud of them!

    • @arrowjones4524
      @arrowjones4524 3 роки тому +1

      I’m really proud of all of you

  • @alienmint7737
    @alienmint7737 5 років тому +551

    Can we appreciate Chole's rainbow look she has in his video? So pretty!!! 🌈🏳️‍🌈

  • @kelseyneal1005
    @kelseyneal1005 4 роки тому +604

    My persecutor has had trouble coming to terms with everything that happened to us, and I'm assuming he was the one watching the video because while he's not opened a line of communication he has definitely been getting better. But all of us really have benefited from the videos your making so thank you!

    • @sunsetblvd5685
      @sunsetblvd5685 4 роки тому +2

      I have a question, if you have a persecutor and it gets better does that mean it integrated or did they just get better? I don't have DID so I wanted to ask someone who does because they would understand the question better.

    • @sunsetblvd5685
      @sunsetblvd5685 4 роки тому +1

      @@randomperson1934 ok I'll have to do some more research on it but thanks for clearing some things up!

  • @katlinath
    @katlinath 4 роки тому +680

    Host&PrimerProtector: we locked this persecutor in a cage for years, they ran away. We don't know where they are, they are not terrible *terrible* things and we've always seen them as our abuser in a different body. Never thought of the person behind. Thought they are just evil, bad, they want to hurt us and they get satisfaction from it. Watching this video... We are wrong, we know it since a while now... /dissociating while writing this isn't funny/ As the host and protector we feel so bad because we feel like we have to look out for the people of our system and we failed. We failed for years, locking her away, not remembering her existence for the host, a big mistake. Now she is gone, we don't know where and we don't know how to fix this. I (host) just feel so bad and guilty... they were made to help me survive and I made this horrible mistake...

    • @ohnoeswhatsthat1335
      @ohnoeswhatsthat1335 4 роки тому +186

      Perhaps you could write something in a journal so that your persecutor can read it if she ever fronts? Perhaps if she's there somewhere, she'll notice that you're working on it. I'm just throwing ideas out there. I hope you're okay

    • @Tami-po3gr
      @Tami-po3gr 4 роки тому +90

      This must be very hard to navigate. I don’t feel comfortable giving suggestions without having more knowledge but I do want you and your system to remember to be kind to yourselves. Mistakes happen and when we know better we do better. You’re on the right track and that’s fantastic. Be easy on yourself, in due time things will mend. Sending healing energy and blessings. 🌺

    • @DereBear
      @DereBear 4 роки тому +55

      Mental health is a journey, you may have made a mistake but you all /learned from it/ and that’s the crucial part. Any relationship can change if you put effort into it, show your persecutor that you’re open to listening to them. And it will be hard to hear how you’ve hurt someone, but they deserve to be heard. And offering them your ears in genuine, good faith is a great place to start

    • @telescope_6990
      @telescope_6990 4 роки тому +44

      Mia Liv Lilholt Christensen I’m guessing that certain alter has stopped being present, and none of the other alters in the system can feel that persecutors presence anymore, or haven’t in a long time. I think “running away” is a way of putting when an alter or persecuted decide to not interact/be part of the system anymore.

    • @nekoqueen5524
      @nekoqueen5524 4 роки тому +13

      @@telescope_6990 Might have gone dormant as well. I'm not sure though since I don't have DID

  • @afonsogomes9742
    @afonsogomes9742 5 років тому +298

    Hi, I'm the host of Chaos System. In our system we have a persecutor who dubbed himself The Beast after the villian of Split and he is the first alter I've ever spoken to. This always brings up fear within our system as well as friends who've heard of Split. Our Beast isn't a mindless savage, but he does consistently toy with everyone in the system. I'm the only one who can talk to him but he talks little, and if he does he talks in my voice. It's hard to deal with sometimes, and this video has helped me somewhat realise why he does this. Thank you. I wish you the best of luck

  • @mushroomdance7756
    @mushroomdance7756 5 років тому +550

    Was the hair Nadia's choice? Lol I remember a video where she talked about wanting rainbow hair

    • @abee948
      @abee948 5 років тому +16

      emma smith yes Chole said it was!

  • @danitotd
    @danitotd 4 роки тому +78

    I’ve experienced severe trauma since I was a little kid until I was a middle teenager. I remember a lot of it but, since I don’t have DID, I also remember the good things that I’ve experienced. I can’t imagine only remembering the bad. Persecutors deserve so much sympathy.

  • @MMDAMV
    @MMDAMV 5 років тому +321

    Felt some Jade and Ruby in here. Brilliant video.♡

    • @justnailahhh
      @justnailahhh 5 років тому +12

      Felt ruby in the dagger eyes!

    • @Andizu1
      @Andizu1 5 років тому +19

      @@justnailahhh dagger eyes are more Jade's thing, I think ;)

    • @justnailahhh
      @justnailahhh 5 років тому

      Andizu1 ooh idk man, but to each their own🤪

    • @MMDAMV
      @MMDAMV 5 років тому

      @@Andizu1 I dunno, I saw that same look from Ruby's intro video👀

    • @luialu3792
      @luialu3792 5 років тому +11

      I totally saw Jade especially during like the last part of the video

  • @andromeda5970
    @andromeda5970 5 років тому +196

    This video was really helpful for me as I myself am a persecutor alter. I know that I am doing many things wrong and that I harmed and hurt my system members in the past and present a lot and I try to change but it is so so hard. Just recently I was finally able to reach out more to some of my system members who are really understanding and kind which helps a lot but I am so overwhelmed. Thank you very much for this video. -M.

  • @ceve
    @ceve 4 роки тому +161

    My mum is a psychologist and when I was a child I used to read parts I found interesting of her old textbooks. I remember reading about DID (it was called Multiple Personality Disorder or something similar at the time) and thinking "I'm young enough to get this" and getting scared. I genuinely thought that if I really tried, I could develop it and it was frightening for my energetic imagination. Man, there are so many things that were wrong with that line of thought.

    • @puccarts
      @puccarts 4 роки тому +8

      I'm sorry you had to feel that fear. I had similar textbooks but I think I was too young to fully understand them. I am genuinely curious as to what exactly forms in the brain after the age of 9 or so so that DID doesn't happen later in life. Is it something biological? Curiously.. I wonder if this is a similar biological function that helps us learn language when we are younger. I'd love to learn more.

    • @goreandhoodies3626
      @goreandhoodies3626 4 роки тому +1

      @@puccarts I don't have did but from this channels video I think I can help
      In the ages of 7 to 9 Is when your personality and how you react to things come together like a kid not knowing how to do math but after watching a yt video on it it comes together
      In a way the brain is saying keep this and throw away this for the core of the personality for that person after the age of 9 your personality just gets stuff added on to it and taken away when needed
      When a person developments DID basically the brain makes boxes and puts different info into the boxes and after 9 the brain just said this is how it's done And keeps doing that when it feels like it has too

    • @goreandhoodies3626
      @goreandhoodies3626 4 роки тому +1

      @@puccarts it could be something biological ... It's a trama response a person/system with did has the an extra trama response that's basically like I can't deal with this make someone that can

  • @ajace1221
    @ajace1221 5 років тому +155

    I’m glad you made a video on this topic. Thanks for always sharing you impute in an organized and easy to follow way.

  • @louisayewman724
    @louisayewman724 5 років тому +445

    So jealous of your makeup skills, wish I could do that 😂❤️

    • @whimsyoni
      @whimsyoni 5 років тому +10

      Ikr she looks so pretty!!

    • @nunulea1
      @nunulea1 5 років тому +4

      Just do it 😉👌

    • @caitsil3366
      @caitsil3366 5 років тому +2

      Ikr, it looks so complicated. 😂 They did a tutorial on how to do a similar look, though! ua-cam.com/video/yXhABJenj3U/v-deo.html

    • @brennak2053
      @brennak2053 5 років тому +7

      The blend is real and I'm thriving

    • @Ghostinaboat
      @Ghostinaboat 5 років тому +2

      Lol there's a plus in DID some alters are very good at makeup. (Had 24 alters)

  • @rultterotzz301
    @rultterotzz301 4 роки тому +91

    I know this is an old video but,, My old persecutor used to be very fearful, really. Fearfully angry, fearful of loss. He'd make sure I never became attached, and if I did he'd try to convince me that my friends weren't real.
    Over time, we came to terms with eachother. He was just as much as a person as I was, he was just as afraid as I was and it hurt so bad to know that I was so ignorant about who he was. All he wanted was to keep us safe, and over time he became calmer and understanding of the real situation. I very much consider him an older brother nowadays, and I hope he knows that I respect him and can't wait for the day where he can feel okay and safer. I hope he is.

  • @carachialtas
    @carachialtas 5 років тому +412

    I would love to know more about how to handle meeting a persecutor. Obviously treating them with kindness is important but what else could be helpful?

    • @h3arty
      @h3arty 5 років тому +88

      I have a notebook dedicated to letting each side of me that is present at the time write a letter to another part of me that it wishes, that's been really helpful. So I might write a letter to my persecutor, encouraging her to write back. Then, on the next page, I put the pen to paper to see if she's ready to write back to me, to help me understand her better. I also have started to gently talk to her even though she isn't present in my mind, just letting her know I know she's there, I'm proud of her etc. But idk, just paying her attention. Also, I look at myself in the mirror sometimes and usually I'll have healing conversations between me and my inner child, but sometimes the persecutor is present, and I look at her in the eyes and let her express herself, I don't judge her or let her hurt me. That's really hard work sometimes though, she used to scare me so much in the mirror, but now I'm stronger than her and understand her more so it's not as scary. Idk, just some ideas!

    • @justnailahhh
      @justnailahhh 5 років тому +17

      h3arty that’s really helpful, thank you! sending you and your system some love xx

    • @Handle70770
      @Handle70770 5 років тому +2

      Cara Chialtas RULES. Rules are extremely important

    • @h3arty
      @h3arty 5 років тому +12

      @@justnailahhh so happy to know it could be useful to someone! Thank you, sending strength and courage your way! X

    • @duskthephantom7690
      @duskthephantom7690 5 років тому +17

      Just being very careful and understanding with them. Know that they will not want to open up right away. It took awhile for a persecutor I know to open up and talk to me. If they're comfortable, discuss boundaries with them, and ask what they are okay to talk about. General topics can help get the ball rolling as well, because you'll be building a connection with them. When they're ready, they'll let you know, but always make sure they know that you will never force them to talk to you.
      That's just what I've learned, and I'm not a professional, so please do be careful. Treat them like you would anyone else, and they'll come to you :)

  • @yellowobject
    @yellowobject 5 років тому +478

    I’ve been binge watching your videos for a few days now. I found your channel through one of your unboxing videos where the title was that you switched several times and I thought “is this what UA-cam clickbait has come to now? Using mental disorders for views?” But then I watched more and more of your videos and I realised it’s truly not what it is at all. The level of thought you put into your videos and your passion for educating people is incredible. The videos that you switch in show how brave you are to show the raw truth of living with DID. What really struck me was the video that you explained about positive triggers and Kyle was so blunt about how terrifying and difficult it is to be positively triggered. The way you honestly talk about this and don’t just go “oh look how whacky it is look at me switch” is so inspiring.
    Keep up your amazing amazing work and I hope doing this helps your healing as much as you help others.
    To Chloe, Kyle, Nadia, Sally, and everyone else in the system who don’t show as often, I hope you are doing well and that you know how amazing you all are.

    • @sighthoundstars
      @sighthoundstars 5 років тому +15

      This is EXACTLY what I did and MAN am I glad I leaned so much this quickly. I'm glad that this channel is here because this information is not well known, at least not enough

    • @KLGB420
      @KLGB420 4 роки тому +5

      Same!! I started with the same video too. I can't stop watching now ❤

  • @lotus5w4sxsp
    @lotus5w4sxsp Рік тому +31

    I just found out I have DID. I had a flood of triggers in my live that disassembled my functioning fronts and became completely unraveled. I was arguing both inside and outside my head. My system became disorganized, I was raging, going blank, getting lost in what I was doing. It was very scary. One of my altars knew we had DID several years ago but kept it hidden. I'm much better than I was a month ago, the system is stabalizing.

  • @ronniecarr6896
    @ronniecarr6896 5 років тому +389

    I'd love to hear Ruby's side of being a persecutor and her transition into being a protector, it'd be a really interesting thing to learn about!
    Love your videos, wish you all the best

  • @rakka2533
    @rakka2533 5 років тому +190

    Despite the heavy and painful things Chloe talks about, she always manages to say beautiful things perfectly. Thank-you Chloe for your words near the end of your video. (And anyone else in the system who may have contributed!) I needed to hear them. As always, your dedication to help people is always appreciated and admired.

  • @Shooketh__
    @Shooketh__ Рік тому +40

    I'm a psychology student and a future therapist. Thank you so much for talking about this. I learn so much through your videos and they provide a lot of valuable insight I can use to help people with it in the future.

  • @majorthompson1548
    @majorthompson1548 5 років тому +221

    Your delivery and enunciation is incredibly effective and captivating, keep up the excellent work!

  • @NicoDavisPurington
    @NicoDavisPurington 5 років тому +101

    The only way a persecutor might hurt a singlet is by driving them away from a system. The persecutor of my system does exactly that because if we're alone, if everyone fears her words and her digs that no one will hurt us in her mind. Persecutors are just scared. They're scared and they need just as much help and love as anyone else in your systen

  • @marymadeup13
    @marymadeup13 3 роки тому +33

    This video freaked me out, almost made me switch to my persecutor. But the ending calmed him down. Thank you for being so helpful.

  • @MMDAMV
    @MMDAMV 5 років тому +94

    Ah yes, if Ruby feels comfortable doing so, I would love to hear what she has to say about her journey.

    • @MMDAMV
      @MMDAMV 5 років тому +7

      @Anna Stripinis As Chloe says here, she was originally, but is now one of the system's strongest protectors.

  • @OcyTaviAh
    @OcyTaviAh 5 років тому +115

    When I was younger, I created this story about this villain who everyone loved but he hurt people in secret, and he looked like Ryan Gosling, but an angel called Peter made sure he didn't hurt anyone. I thought I'd made up this story but it was literally just a rationalization of my alters. I still haven't dealt with Jake directly since I was like, 12, and I don't know how to access those areas since the walls have been up for so long but I still can't watch movies with Ryan Gosling in them because of him.
    We definitely have a prosecutor turned protector in K though. So it's definitely possible, but his transition was because he was stuck fronting for like, 2 years. I dont want that to happen again.

  • @toniasuebull933
    @toniasuebull933 4 роки тому +180

    I have DID and one of the worst thing to think about is my persecutor. He is very frightening and scary. But I respect him like I respect my mom. Please, if you are reading this, bring light to this disorder. DID is not a board game, it is not fun, and it is not something to be underestimated and simple. Thank you for reading this.

  • @lady-adalyn
    @lady-adalyn 5 років тому +196

    Definitely accurate...one of my alters Damien specifically targets my other alter, Pink. Ive had to do conference meetings 2 times a day with them to figure out a healthier system.

    • @jackiedrummond849
      @jackiedrummond849 4 роки тому +14

      I know this is an old comment, but I hope you are doing better now! Its good that you all are trying to work out a healthier system. I wish you all the best

  • @SarahM.2310.
    @SarahM.2310. 5 років тому +277

    I always love to read the comments after watching a new video. You have built a community where people are respectful and spreading positivity while learning about DID and/or sharing their thoughts and experiences. I really enjoy watching your videos ❤️

  • @thistlekersh7092
    @thistlekersh7092 4 роки тому +144

    I just want to sit down with every alter in every system ever and give them the biggest cup of cocoa, a massive hug, and someone outside of their system that they know they can always depend on. Everyone deserves happiness, every alter, every system, every human, every creature. I love all of you and I want you to know that I would protect you because everyone needs a little love and protection in their lives. Hugs (or not hugs if you don't like them; I know I sometimes don't) to everyone. You are valid, and you are strong.

  • @elifg.714
    @elifg.714 5 років тому +114

    You know you're about to watch an amazing informative video when you hear the world's softest "Hello everybody!"

  • @Lileiny
    @Lileiny 5 років тому +184

    Thank you for this video! Now the development of my alter makes more sense to me. She was a persecutor at first, we acted as rivals and had fights about who has control. She also hurt me sometimes. Sometimes she stopped me from hurting myself (but not necessarily out of kindness, it was more a control thing). Over the years, we learned to respect and even love each other. The quality of life rises so much if you work together

  • @liberaitor6047
    @liberaitor6047 4 роки тому +93

    For years: from my childhood to the teenage years, I was fighting with my own persecutor and he held many traumas and made me remember forcefully like "Oh yeah? You are gonna lose weight? You've tried this for so many times and you will not be able to do it again." but I discovered my DID on university years and then made a couple research on that. So many people were suggesting that I needed to communicate my alters and I did that and now this 'Evil Altar' of mine stopped make me remember bad things, actually he becomes a fiery protector like I sometimes hide my main character behind him and say "I'm powerless" and he instantly says "Okay leave this situation to me, no one can get through from my anger to hurt you. You are safe with me." like he gained some kind of confident and he even can defend other 8 alters of me. Although his energy of anger keeps increasing so I decided to use that energy with the cardio and boxing stuff. I wouldn't believe that the alter who bullies me with my own weight becomes the alter that encourage me to lose weight. So, that was the story of my evil alter becomes a powerful guardian. : ' )

    • @ChristinaVioletW
      @ChristinaVioletW 4 роки тому +1

      Great job bro glad you could through it and gain a friend

    • @chocoais6601
      @chocoais6601 3 роки тому +1

      That's very heartwarming 💖

    • @sharvareedeshpande4309
      @sharvareedeshpande4309 3 роки тому

      M sooo sooo soo proud of you..i dont have did but i appreciate the systems for being so powerful and brave

  • @ungracefulgrace02
    @ungracefulgrace02 5 років тому +149

    This was such a powerful video. The way you articulate your struggles and the intelligence you hold is astounding. You are so incredibly kind and inspiring. Thank you for your light! Lots of love from me, as always! 💛🌟💛

  • @dionisismitropoulos453
    @dionisismitropoulos453 5 років тому +34

    While watching this video ( especially during the part she talked about how a motive for a persecutor can be controlling the abuse) im pretty sure one of my presecutors heard that because i instantly felt a WAVE of pain and discociation. We dealt with it but im pretty sure a persecutor ( whom i havent met yet) got triggered. I want to thank you guys so much. Now we have at least a lead on how to reach them and try and help them

  • @winter-on-mars9576
    @winter-on-mars9576 4 роки тому +9

    Felix was a persecutor in our system for years.
    And then he fronted for the first time.
    And he met my friends.
    He realised how much they were helping me by doing the opposite of what he was doing.
    He's on the road to becoming a protector now

  • @jessietaylor5750
    @jessietaylor5750 5 років тому +56

    You may never read this comment but I just have so much respect for how you are dealing with your trauma and the resulting struggles. I experienced childhood trauma and have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, ptsd and adjustment disorder. I am almost 40 and have decided to go back into the therapeutic journey. I recently realized that I have a frequent tendency to emotional abuse myself which my counselor has explained was generated from the verbal abuse I experienced as a child. It is as if I have taken the role of my abuser and continue to abuse myself mentally. I can’t explain how much I can relate to the role of the persecutor. I haven’t learned how to tame the abusive thoughts yet, but some of your statements helped me understand some of the reasons why I do it. I may not have alters as a way to cope with different aspects of the trauma, but I do have so many mixed emotions. For example maybe the part of me that is angry about the abuse, is taking it out on myself so that I won’t take it out on others. I don’t want to treat others the way I was treated so I do it to myself. I know there are plenty of other reasons it happens but your openness has helped me to start analyzing my own mental health struggles and seeking help for healing. I must say that the most difficult but necessary thing to do in managing these struggles is to own it and understand that I am the only one responsible for me, my actions and my healing. U have stated that point in your videos multiple times and it is so true. I just want you to know how thankful I am for what your are doing. Keep up your hard work, it is helping people in more ways than you will ever know.

  • @Barbabun5
    @Barbabun5 5 років тому +154

    Our (ex-)persecutors would /love/ a video from a persecutor's perspective. ~Swingset System

    • @vampcatproducer
      @vampcatproducer 5 років тому +3

      Hi there, if you're still wondering if there is one, the Pinata system does have a few videos for/about prosecutors. I hope that if you do check them out, that they find it helpful

  • @amandachristensen7487
    @amandachristensen7487 4 роки тому +42

    As a singular person, this hit me hard and made me realize that I just need to communicate with myself better and really recognize my emotions. This video hit me hard and I definitely cried a bit. Thank you for this video

  • @popcornism
    @popcornism 5 років тому +73

    Amy, a “persecutor” of my system, has a strange story. She was originally created as a relatively “normal” alter to replace a protector that had gone dormant. But during a certain Summer she was fronting more often to get used to what she was and to understand the world. But from this summer she was trying to help me because I was so down, so deep in myself, in pain, and she began to develop from what I was feeling. She developed a form of complex and I went away while she was in control for a month or so. She became so traumatized that she couldn’t handle it, and then I was able to come back. But she messed up a lot of things about me, and I felt lost in myself.
    But we sent her away for a while because she put a little to sleep and Jamie and I just couldn’t anymore. Amy is doing way better now, but is still haunted.
    I don’t know if it makes her a persecutor or an alter that is just like one. That summer is hard to talk about and I blank when I try and talk about it, so I’m sorry for lack of information.
    -Host + Amy

    • @katrinakollmann5265
      @katrinakollmann5265 5 років тому

      Hey, can I ask what putting a little to sleep means?

    • @popcornism
      @popcornism 5 років тому +6

      Katrina Kollmann In our case, “putting a little to sleep” was Amy triggering A little and causing said little to go dormant. The little was asleep for a while until she woke up and we had communication once again. It’s a little hard to Explain, but that’s basically what I meant.
      -Host :)

    • @katrinakollmann5265
      @katrinakollmann5265 5 років тому +1

      @@popcornism thank you all for explaining

    • @popcornism
      @popcornism 5 років тому

      Katrina Kollmann Your welcome. Anytime! :)

    • @funny.gon-12
      @funny.gon-12 5 років тому

      funny me and a friend of my mom called Amy used to do lightsaber duels and she was darth Amy .

  • @zodyl5408
    @zodyl5408 4 роки тому +23

    I am a part of a system, and have created my own account in order to live a life of my own online. I quite appreciate that you created this video. I do not wish to harm this body but you were spot on. I am now a protector and am interacting more with the host and the rest of the system. We as a system quite enjoy your videos and I want to thank Chloe for making this and hope that Nin is doing quite well now. Sincerely thank you.

  • @MaverickJackJohnson
    @MaverickJackJohnson 4 роки тому +99

    I don't have DID, but I do have severe anxiety, depression, and occasionally my panic attacks start to cause me to disassociate. When it happens it's like two or three parts of my brain start arguing over what to do, fighting impulses of fight or flight and even sometimes delusional thought patterns. I know it's not nearly the same, but ya'll have made me realize that there may be a way for me to approach my thoughts to try and keep calm during those times since it's like I have two irrational parts of my brain arguing for opposite outcomes and a third trying to grasp at logic between them. I doubt any of this will make sense, sorry, but thanks, what ya'll are doing is important, and I think it will help more people than just those with DID.

    • @arden.h6880
      @arden.h6880 4 роки тому +5

      I really relate to what you said - thank you for saying it.

    • @shannonmartin924
      @shannonmartin924 4 роки тому +4

      This makes so much sense. I do not have DID, but do have PTSD, depression, anxiety and panic disorder. I've learned so much from these videos and it has helped me understand so much about myself and the ways in which my brain strives to help me cope and to keep itself from cracking.
      I hope you are well ❤

    • @kaitlynnoble1337
      @kaitlynnoble1337 4 роки тому +2

      me too. i feel like everyone in the mental health community can learn so much from each other, even tho we don't all have the same illnesses or disorders.

    • @goreandhoodies3626
      @goreandhoodies3626 4 роки тому

      Hey I heard this from a tiktok from a person that has panic attacks keep little packets of salt or pepper or something like that and brake it open and put it in your mouth and focus on that since panic attacks are looking for a reason why they should or shouldn't be in fear the salt would make you focus and clam down (I haven't tried this since I have had a panic attack in a bit that was a bad one so hope this helps)

    • @goreandhoodies3626
      @goreandhoodies3626 4 роки тому

      Also same I probably don't have did that I know of because usely my memory is good and I didn't have as I know bad repeated trama around 7-9 (I did have trama though ) but I think my brain just said you know what let's go numb and I still remember it just not as well

  • @angelicgacha
    @angelicgacha 5 років тому +161

    Omg hair and makeup on point! Love your channel and me and my system friends are watching this were actually meeting again soon and I can't wait (we're all ibfs) we share everything together and they and y'all are so inspiring xd

  • @Moshimonstersgurl234
    @Moshimonstersgurl234 5 років тому +47

    My best friend has DID. He doesn’t disclose much about it, so for me to be a better friend I’ve been watching you. I just met 2 of their alters, and have yet to meet a persecutor. I’m glad to know how to help. Thank you.

  • @Daoist_Linkonem
    @Daoist_Linkonem 4 роки тому +23

    My name is Samuel and I’am 15 i found your guys channel not to long ago and being honest i don’t know if i have DID. Because its happened multiple times where i cant remember 2 or so days no matter how hard i tried and there have been times where i will wake up in a place i don’t remember how i got there. My friend has told me before that sometimes i seem like a different person. So i asked him if he could explain to me and from what he has told me theres the way i act carefree, laidback, and in general calm and the other ways i acted he said i was aggressive at certain times and talked different and the other times i was shy and would freakout alot. I dont know if i have DID but i wanted to read up about it before i found your channel i thought it was still called multiple personalities disorder. So if one of you see my comment i want to let you know you opened me up to a whole new way of thinking thank you.

  • @LinkaBellGAME
    @LinkaBellGAME 5 років тому +272

    I feel like Jade was co-con during this. I really enjoy learning about DID.

  • @jajabearrr
    @jajabearrr 5 років тому +261

    Last time I was here you had pink hair woah lol.

    • @elizabethmiller8808
      @elizabethmiller8808 5 років тому +7

      her alters choose what colour to dye her hair. her hair has gone through a lot of different colours lmao

  • @TheFluffyStuffieSystem
    @TheFluffyStuffieSystem Рік тому +25

    I have a persecutor that hates themselves so much and is really aggressive, he's insulted so many people without me knowing but we are working on it and he would come out abruptly and only say a few words and leave immediately which give me a huge headache

    • @TheFluffyStuffieSystem
      @TheFluffyStuffieSystem Рік тому +7

      I didn’t think this comment would get this sort of attention even if it’s not deemed much but I just would like to say. He has learned how to cope and he’s bonded with our friends now, he’s even protected us and our friends often now and I’m so proud of him. -Gabriel

  • @Adara007
    @Adara007 5 років тому +60

    Thank you for being an advocate for DID and Trauma-related disorders. You're strong and brave and an inspiration. Love from Australia 🌷💖.

  • @yoshellegallant-erza3648
    @yoshellegallant-erza3648 5 років тому +90

    6:10-6:55
    I may not have DID but the way you spoke to us just spoke to my core. And I just want to say thank you. 😢❤️

  • @imfrenchfries7430
    @imfrenchfries7430 4 роки тому +17

    The way they explained (nin or chloe) she explained it so well, making persecutors listen.. You are giving hope to many❤

  • @phant0m170
    @phant0m170 5 років тому +110

    This video gave me the chills. I love the way you view this. Your voice simply makes me feel that you are reaching deep within me. I don’t even have did. I am really nerdy with psychological stuff, and the DissociaDID system really inspires me to help others cope with mental health issues. I love you all!!!

    • @oraiacullo5754
      @oraiacullo5754 4 роки тому

      By ur profile picture I judge you know who toko is. Her other personality is horribly written that made me angry. But I still like the game.

  • @DeathBatBabe97
    @DeathBatBabe97 5 років тому +478

    You’ve said before that alters react differently to medications. How does that work since they exist in the same system? I hope this isn’t offensive. I’m new to this whole thing.

    • @smokee1325
      @smokee1325 5 років тому +166

      Thisnamestillsucks if you’ve heard of the placebo effect, it’s the same principle. The mind is a very powerful thing. Alters can have a disconnect with the body they inhabit and what they believe they look like, and this can also extend to things like allergies or diabetes even.
      Hope this explained things, I’m new to this and I might not have used the right words so sorry in advance about that!

    • @betafreud
      @betafreud 4 роки тому +119

      from my understanding, parts of the brain can shut off when a switch happens so some alters can be legally blind/deaf :-)

    • @DereBear
      @DereBear 4 роки тому +69

      It’s been proven through MRIs that different parts of the brain light up during switches. So it would make sense that if a part of the brain is more active during an alter, it may respond more or less to a medication

    • @filominagavra9341
      @filominagavra9341 4 роки тому +31

      Hi, I have DID, I’m gonna explain this the best I can (I’m dissociating) Think of it like this. Alters are completely different people with different parts of the brain working. So, one medication that works on one alter, wont work on another,

    • @savvvysavvv1934
      @savvvysavvv1934 4 роки тому +5

      There's no specific medication for DID, nor is there a cure. You just have to have therapy to learn the cope and become functioning, and go on meds that you currently need (antidepressants, mood stabilizer, antipsychotic, anxiety, etc)

  • @MrsSazzyWazzy
    @MrsSazzyWazzy 4 роки тому +33

    it feels. like persecutors are still in a way protectors. if they weren't there to hold these memories, what would become of your system? to all the "persecutors" remember you are soooo needed. you are so brave and strong even when you don't feel like it. and thank you for holding on to things that no one wants. thank you so much for being such a great asset to your system. never forget this. know that there are people who care and are trying to understand. and thanks to dissociaDID we might understand a little bit more each day ❤️

  • @ilyem999
    @ilyem999 5 років тому +70

    At some parts it seems like Chloe is talking to someone specifically. I'd love to hear from Ruby about her journey to becoming a protector or other persecutors and their journeys

  • @reesehawkins4272
    @reesehawkins4272 5 років тому +105

    I’m early and I just wanted to say that your channel and Piñata’s have inspired me to go into psychology.
    With Love! ❤️

    • @julianna6847
      @julianna6847 5 років тому +2

      Same!! The disorder is not widely known and studied specially in my country so i hope i can expand that view more and help people that may go undiagnosed and confused for years

    • @bunnylacy2097
      @bunnylacy2097 5 років тому +1

      I did my recent psychology paper on DID because of them.

    • @leowest4623
      @leowest4623 5 років тому +1

      Me too, I have depression anxiety and gender dysphoria anyway. I'm currently in college studying business, finance and criminology but i wish I chose psychology instead of criminology so I'm studying psychology outside of college on top of my 3 alevels :)

    • @lordbaphie
      @lordbaphie 5 років тому +1

      Our country doesn't care about psychology. A lot suffering from mental illness go undiagnosed or live a horrible life. Just a black sheep of the society. Unfortunately, we're part of those hiding in the dark due to our mental condition.

  • @roseboon8227
    @roseboon8227 4 роки тому +50

    I have to show this to one of the other Alters in my system. They always degrade one that is Called ThreeHorn. In this video its basically describes how he acts and how he behaves. I like your videos miss!
    P.S. Whomever sees dis- HAve A Good day!

    • @isabelgee5062
      @isabelgee5062 3 роки тому +1

      thank you! I hope you have a good day too, and I hope ThreeHorn and the rest of your system is doing better

  • @Alecc3959
    @Alecc3959 5 років тому +9

    I'm honestly so proud of Chloe and all of the alters that they're telling the world about this. Most people don't know about it, and how it works. I didn't know how it worked, until I started watching this channel. Thanks for helping me understand DID! Wish all of you guys the best of luck!

  • @januarywynter6632
    @januarywynter6632 5 років тому +208

    Chloe: dealing with persecutors can be s-
    Ad: nope

    • @crystalpool7148
      @crystalpool7148 5 років тому +6

      January Wynter saaame that happened to me

  • @lydsmusic9546
    @lydsmusic9546 4 роки тому +44

    I wish I saw Kyle's reaction to the hair 😂