Grandkids Are Your Reward. Jeff Allen

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  • Опубліковано 31 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 208

  • @Mrmaniqs
    @Mrmaniqs 5 років тому +339

    Finally comedy that is not based on cussing sex or racial undertones. Thank you sir

  • @dennesey
    @dennesey 5 років тому +461

    "Water shouldn't have 40 grams of fiber". That line is next-level funny. Dry Bar should just give Jeff his own off-shoot channel.

    • @LRey85
      @LRey85 5 років тому +6

      So true...he's great 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

  • @itsrainening
    @itsrainening 5 років тому +340

    This guy is my current favorite! Great Job!

  • @KidCity1985
    @KidCity1985 5 років тому +230

    I owned a daycare, he is absolutely right. I retired, now I'm healthy.

    • @wendylott6920
      @wendylott6920 5 років тому +4

      @Old Luke Your comment had me rolling! My immune system is that of a potato on a good day! I hope science discovers you soon! 😆

    • @kateg2255
      @kateg2255 4 роки тому +2

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭🤣🤣

    • @davidtilley3049
      @davidtilley3049 4 роки тому +1

      LOL

  • @Ayu567
    @Ayu567 5 років тому +148

    I admire how at this age he’s still very energetic and still got relatable jokes 😂

  • @sweettee6827
    @sweettee6827 5 років тому +42

    This man is hilarious!! "Is that ebola?! Don't think I've had that one yet." 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @stevenrobinson4692
    @stevenrobinson4692 5 років тому +30

    WHAT THE... where has this guy been all my life. I'm nearly 60 years old and this is some of the best comedy I've seen/heard. Sooooo good!

  • @yLeprechaun
    @yLeprechaun 5 років тому +131

    This guy!... why am I just finding him. God, he's hilarious.

    • @sandralyn5869
      @sandralyn5869 4 роки тому +2

      I've been wondering the same thing. I only discovered him about a week ago.

  • @ritakisil1508
    @ritakisil1508 2 роки тому +1

    I double up everytime I watch him, so much joy. Thank you, thank you Jeff

  • @Ray888z
    @Ray888z 5 років тому +375

    It's so refreshing that Allen doesn't need to rely on dirty sex jokes to be funny nor cussing to be "cool".

    • @becarefulwhatyoufish4764
      @becarefulwhatyoufish4764 5 років тому +18

      Feel the same way about people who don’t need drugs and alcohol to have a good time.

    • @Ray888z
      @Ray888z 5 років тому +12

      @@becarefulwhatyoufish4764 unfortunately, we are in the minority

    • @edwardbarraza4848
      @edwardbarraza4848 5 років тому +2

      @@Ray888z if your the majority good luck to a sorry life lol

    • @Ray888z
      @Ray888z 5 років тому +4

      @@edwardbarraza4848 by the way: "your" and "you're " are 2 different words.

    • @sandralyn5869
      @sandralyn5869 4 роки тому +2

      Absolutely!! I think that's one of the things I love about this guy! It's not offensive but hilarious at the same time.

  • @AspienPadda
    @AspienPadda 5 років тому +228

    Dry bar comedy:
    Grandchildren, they are your reward for letting your teenagers live. Fight the urge let them live and they'll bring you a bundle of joy, they will in time

    • @almostalwayson4408
      @almostalwayson4408 5 років тому +2

      In case you missed the TITLE as well as the OPENING OF THE CLIP !!!!! Thanks for THAT....LOL !!#!!

  • @adiplanb
    @adiplanb 5 років тому +19

    Never heard of the guy before, but will surely remember him now.
    So glad I clicked!

  • @opendoorproperty
    @opendoorproperty 5 років тому +17

    After all these years this man has gotten even funnier!!! I wanted to pee my pants w/ laughter. U are a true artist/comedian if u can go through so much hardship and difficulty in life and still make others laugh. Only the grace of GOD. I almost fell out laughing over this bit.

  • @genegarneau3822
    @genegarneau3822 5 років тому +14

    I love this man. I never heard of him before. But I needed this. I needed to laugh again. God is so good.

  • @chrisalisha8482
    @chrisalisha8482 5 років тому +24

    Gosh I love him...havent laughed in ages... God bless you...

  • @Steelhorsecowboy
    @Steelhorsecowboy 5 років тому +86

    So true. There really should be a workout for prospective grandparents. Things like picking up 20 lbs that is twisting and turning while you reach to the limits to pick something up.

  • @gx2778
    @gx2778 2 роки тому

    Thanks!

  • @ThatEEguy2818
    @ThatEEguy2818 5 років тому +5

    I've seen Jeff 3 times live. He's hilarious.

  • @rasputinbotswana3985
    @rasputinbotswana3985 5 років тому +3

    It’s not often that I laugh watching things by myself, but now I’ve watched a few of Jeff’s videos, and I’ve laughed out loud at every one of them so far. Hilarious!

  • @katefree9539
    @katefree9539 13 днів тому

    I just love watching your comedy!!!

  • @ekdaufin1485
    @ekdaufin1485 5 років тому +153

    CDC shut down every pre school in the country. 🤣

  • @WoodSprite4ever
    @WoodSprite4ever 5 років тому +2

    This was so funny I have tears of joy coming out of my eyes😅😅🤣🤣🤣😆😆😆😆👍🏽

  • @laurawofford-brown4351
    @laurawofford-brown4351 5 років тому +1

    Thanks Jeff for cracking me up. Surprised look every day before school. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🥰

  • @rixpix2957
    @rixpix2957 5 років тому +16

    Jeff is a star!

  • @deniseracine6788
    @deniseracine6788 4 роки тому

    Going to see him in Vegas next week! I can’t wait!

  • @rosaazul88
    @rosaazul88 5 років тому +11

    The handkerchief 🤣🤣🤣😂 I died

  • @robertsmith5557
    @robertsmith5557 5 років тому +6

    Thanks Jeff. I was eating my lunch when you mentioned the yoyo.

  • @sandralyn5869
    @sandralyn5869 4 роки тому

    This guy keeps me in stitches no matter WHAT hes talking about!!

  • @michaeldillon9080
    @michaeldillon9080 5 років тому +2

    God Bless Had me in tears.

  • @vh6307
    @vh6307 3 роки тому

    He made me LOL when he said "water shouldn't have 40 grams of fiber"!!😆😹

  • @christinelafromboise6731
    @christinelafromboise6731 3 роки тому

    Omg, I was laughing out loud throughout the whole video. 🤣 That is exactly what a 5 year old does!

  • @Lavenderrose73
    @Lavenderrose73 5 років тому +22

    "I'd back that snot up as fast as I could... "
    😂 🤣

  • @GeneralLazySpoon
    @GeneralLazySpoon 5 років тому +50

    This is absolutely hilarious and disgusting at the same time. That's a hard blend to pull off, but JA is a pro!

  • @Kboani
    @Kboani 5 років тому +2

    The handkerchief joke 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm cryin

  • @joleneangelicsingarrett5837
    @joleneangelicsingarrett5837 5 років тому +160

    My daughter use to lick the doritoes and shove em back in the bag... Nothing was more awesome than to grab and chew on rehardened doritoe... She was so helpful... Lmao... Xoxo

    • @hellrider7s922
      @hellrider7s922 5 років тому +9

      preparing them for ya

    • @oznerriznick2474
      @oznerriznick2474 5 років тому +13

      My greatgrandma used to spit on her hanky and wipe my face with it..ahhh!
      She was sweet tho'. I miss her.

    • @joleneangelicsingarrett5837
      @joleneangelicsingarrett5837 5 років тому +12

      @Wade Robbins my mom use to use her thumb and lick then get food off my face... I did the same to my kids... I try to still do it and they are 17 and 8... Lmao... They hate it... But i remember hating it too... But it's fun to pass on memories of our loved ones that passed on... RIP Mom... Xoxo

    • @hellrider7s922
      @hellrider7s922 5 років тому +2

      @@joleneangelicsingarrett5837 that was beautiful

    • @joleneangelicsingarrett5837
      @joleneangelicsingarrett5837 5 років тому

      @Hellrider 7s thank you xoxo

  • @elizabethrobbins4702
    @elizabethrobbins4702 5 років тому +5

    That was by far the best bit of his that I have seen so far

  • @ladylilo6044
    @ladylilo6044 5 років тому +2

    Hilarious 😂🤣... clean comedy, much appreciated 💕

  • @89149
    @89149 5 років тому +11

    Shout out to Tammy, she make sure her husband look fine!!!.

  • @electricspark5271
    @electricspark5271 5 років тому +1

    I love Jeff Allen, so hillarious!

  • @donhughes8465
    @donhughes8465 5 років тому +1

    I am laughing so hard there are tears rolling down my face. Superb....

  • @tgbluewolf
    @tgbluewolf 4 роки тому

    Not a grandmother, but a preschool teacher, and this is SO accurate! 🤣

  • @towallomeesgel1703
    @towallomeesgel1703 5 років тому +15

    I NEVER had kids, I don't want them anymore. I wasn't sure, now I'm sure.
    No snot yo-yos in my house..

  • @jo-annbastings
    @jo-annbastings 5 років тому

    Mr. Allen...I love you! Continue your good, HILARIOUS, job!👏👏👏👏👍❤️

  • @jethroaugustus4794
    @jethroaugustus4794 5 років тому +1

    This dude is great, I love the jokes and the story.

  • @martinal7745
    @martinal7745 5 років тому +1

    Absolutely brilliant!!! Really funny!!

  • @davidrees5030
    @davidrees5030 5 років тому

    1st time for me to see this guy & he's hilarious, I must have lost a gallon of water through crying with laughter.

  • @need4speednv
    @need4speednv 5 років тому +26

    Letting your teenagers live now that was funny. I’ve been there.

  • @natalietarrant6268
    @natalietarrant6268 5 років тому

    So, so happy to have found this channel!

  • @kubel83
    @kubel83 5 років тому +2

    Absolutely loved every bit of it😄👍

  • @stevenwiederholt7000
    @stevenwiederholt7000 5 років тому +9

    I think I hurt myself...laughing.

  • @rfrancoi
    @rfrancoi 5 років тому +1

    This man is HILARIOUS!!!

  • @FDchick
    @FDchick 5 років тому +2

    The yoyo joke had me dying. LMAO

  • @margomiko6723
    @margomiko6723 3 роки тому

    I was gagging and laughing at this video. So true every word. This is coming from a woman who raised several kids.

  • @masukuma
    @masukuma 5 років тому +6

    I love this guy

  • @loveyfirstthing843
    @loveyfirstthing843 5 років тому +1

    Woooow thank you for what you do

  • @ashleyjerrett7075
    @ashleyjerrett7075 5 років тому +3

    He is my favorite, hilarious!!!!

  • @hellrider7s922
    @hellrider7s922 5 років тому +11

    I like this guy

  • @vynguyen7991
    @vynguyen7991 5 років тому +2

    Jeff is hilarious!!

  • @lindathompson6129
    @lindathompson6129 5 років тому

    I hope he is NOT the last of his kind. Really funny man. Love it.

  • @forkshootertb96
    @forkshootertb96 5 років тому +2

    Funny and no foul language either. I like it.

  • @catchert2909
    @catchert2909 4 роки тому

    He's so funny, one my favz

  • @ghostridergunship
    @ghostridergunship 5 років тому +175

    Funny yet nauseating. I feel like my appetite just ran into a wall

    • @iSugarHeart
      @iSugarHeart 5 років тому +10

      When your appetite just runs into a wall you laugh. Thats what you do :D

  • @debraj.thomas661
    @debraj.thomas661 5 років тому +11

    And Tammy doesn't get sick either! Hahaha

  • @muhammadmubashirullah7152
    @muhammadmubashirullah7152 4 роки тому

    The crowd loves him and it makes it more enjoyable.

  • @johnnyllooddte3415
    @johnnyllooddte3415 5 років тому +11

    you are so funny.. everything you say is sooo true.. i hate home owners assoc.. and talk about kids and neighbors.., amazing sense of humor ahahahahah

  • @tonigrant3295
    @tonigrant3295 5 років тому +4

    Oh that handkerchief joke was funny as hell

  • @survivrs
    @survivrs 2 роки тому

    Yep, I knew before we had kids that snotty noses were going to be my downfall, and I was right, but eventually I got used to my stomach contents coming back up to my tonsils and recovered from it. I'm doing better with grandkids, but I still won't drink or eat anything they've handed me because I have no idea where it landed or if one of the dogs licked it before reaching me.

  • @Scavenger82
    @Scavenger82 5 років тому +1

    You're not really living on the edge until you share a straw with a toddler. Surprise! You just sucked up half a biscuit.

  • @cdiaz55
    @cdiaz55 5 років тому +2

    How have I missed this guy???

  • @38skippers
    @38skippers 5 років тому +3

    I've got no:6 coming this morning!

  • @biggravy732
    @biggravy732 5 років тому +1

    Fantastic!!

  • @shanhu5769
    @shanhu5769 4 роки тому +1

    At my third placement with kindergarteners, I was there for three weeks (covid ended my placement early), and I was sick every single day after the first week's Friday. 🤢🤢

  • @neghiethervil5606
    @neghiethervil5606 5 років тому +15

    At this point in my life, I need water with 45 grams of fiber.

  • @MrHandyman1954
    @MrHandyman1954 5 років тому +1

    I've never laughed so hard in my life.

  • @seek3n
    @seek3n 5 років тому +2

    😂o man the handkerchief lmao

  • @MsKJohnson86
    @MsKJohnson86 5 років тому

    My side hurts and my eyes are watering from laughing so hard LOL LOL

  • @nenaelliott8058
    @nenaelliott8058 4 роки тому

    Funniest man in comedy, bar none.

  • @lindathompson6129
    @lindathompson6129 5 років тому

    I have got to see him in a live show.

  • @geesegalore5594
    @geesegalore5594 3 роки тому

    This was the wrong routine to listen to while eating my breakfast 😅

  • @laineywright2696
    @laineywright2696 5 років тому

    I love this guy.

  • @marylouirick7316
    @marylouirick7316 5 років тому

    My daugther told me l treat my grands like , GOLD!😄

  • @sharonbowers9929
    @sharonbowers9929 5 років тому

    I love this guy! 😂😂😂

  • @chachadodds5860
    @chachadodds5860 5 років тому +3

    Jeff Allen, gets better & better with age. Peeing my pants.

  • @hyroproto4364
    @hyroproto4364 5 років тому

    man...this guy can tell a story...

  • @EndlessSummer888
    @EndlessSummer888 4 роки тому

    There's a whole stack of handkerchiefs in my laundry room cupboard... I often carry one, but I only use it to wipe my forehead/eyes/corners of my mouth. Even when I'm sick. If I'm sick and need to constantly blow, I'll carry a whole box of tissues to class (and sit away from everyone else, which is remarkably easy when your class is in an auditorium).

  • @ankurmotwani5445
    @ankurmotwani5445 5 років тому

    Most comics use sexual jokes and aren't half as good as he is.
    Truly amazing sir !
    God bless you

  • @colel1605
    @colel1605 4 роки тому

    DUDE SAID “IM NOT CAPPIN” 😭😭😭

  • @axiomist1076
    @axiomist1076 5 років тому +1

    This guy's hilarious !!!

  • @alessandrobuy
    @alessandrobuy 5 років тому

    once you see the blue light/reflection on his head, you never unsee it

  • @unburriedtalents599
    @unburriedtalents599 5 років тому

    He's the funniest! 🙌💛💛💛😃👊👏😇

  • @ungrateful-66
    @ungrateful-66 5 років тому

    So true... Believe it or not, illnesses are a BIG reason why I don't want kids. Haven't had so much as a common cold in 10 years.

  • @andymwes
    @andymwes 5 років тому +5

    What sort of stuff makes you laugh? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @rozenart5768
    @rozenart5768 5 років тому

    Unfortunately mine are not! So I tell each one of them they’re my favorite so when I die it comes as a surprise that I lied to them!

  • @jackolantern404
    @jackolantern404 5 років тому +95

    I love this comedian, but this was not meant for my lunch break. 🤢

    • @MD-oe5fi
      @MD-oe5fi 5 років тому +2

      Jack O'Lantern same

    • @MadisonS.Trivia
      @MadisonS.Trivia 5 років тому +1

      SAME! 😑😓😣

    • @reikaratnam
      @reikaratnam 5 років тому +1

      He should listen to his wife more

    • @tomlund4951
      @tomlund4951 5 років тому +1

      Jack O'Lantern dude no!

  • @denaredford6701
    @denaredford6701 5 років тому +1

    Yep they are. Our rewards .

  • @Angelica-go5ml
    @Angelica-go5ml 3 роки тому

    This guy needs a special!

  • @tatsumakisempyukaku
    @tatsumakisempyukaku 5 років тому +1

    This guy is good

  • @lassala
    @lassala 5 років тому

    This was awesome!!

  • @brianjoyce9040
    @brianjoyce9040 5 років тому +1

    Thx for the wonderful yucks Jeff. I’m a fan. Good guffaws for all

  • @georgeisaak5321
    @georgeisaak5321 5 років тому +1

    hahahahaha he is so real it becomes funny !!!!