Marriage with Chronic Illness | How to Support Your Partner/Spouse
Вставка
- Опубліковано 22 лип 2024
- Hello Friends! It's Aimee Esther here! I am a stay at home mama to a sweet baby girl, and wife to an amazing husband. I also have several chronic illnesses (see below). I am passionate about sharing my story to help those suffering like I do. I have a degree in health education and I am certified in nutrition, chronic disease, and health promotion.
Today I interviewed my husband and got his perspective on living as a spouse (or partner) to someone who has a chronic illness, lives with chronic pain, or fatigue. He has a different story than me, but is still effected by this disease. I hope you enjoy!
For more info on my chronic illnesses check out the links below!
POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome)/ Dysautonomia www.dysautonomiainternational....
Fibromyalgia www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-c...
CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) medlineplus.gov/chronicfatigu...
SIBO (Small Intestine Bacteria Overgrowth) www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-c...
Leaky Gut Syndrome www.health.harvard.edu/blog/l...
Chronic Migraines www.migrainetrust.org/about-m...
PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-c...
Endometriosis www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-c...
Follow along on Instagram / aimee_esther
SHOP my activewear line: www.etsy.com/shop/AimeeEsther...
BUSINESS INQUIRIES: aimeeestherblog@gmail.com
The beautiful music for this video was provided by: Life of Riley Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/... Let's Change The World Together by Artificial.Music / artificial-music Creative Commons - Attribution 3.0 Unported - CC BY 3.0 creativecommons.org/licenses/b... Music promoted by Audio Library • Let's Change The World...
"I feel like I couldn't be the wife I wanted to be" I felt that. I cry everyday because I sit here tired but barely moving and I watch my kids, my partner suffer because I can't be present. They love me and I am blessed with such an understanding/helpful family I just wish I could be there and be the energetic girl I used to be.
It's SO hard. I feel for you... Its our trial in life, but we can still live a happy life. I believe that 100%! You got this girl!
This made me cry. Suffering with insomnia and pain is so draining. The chronic fatigue is overwhelming but we are all in this to get and I think the most important thing is for us to support each other ! Sending love to u!
Oh honey, I completely understand. This is me verbatim. I cry all the time because I can't be the mother/wife I want to be.
Yes I understand too, I finished her sentence in my head. What a great unselfish husband he is
God bless you 🙏
I’ll be real. My girlfriend is constantly mad bc she is in pain all the time. I do my very best to make ends meet, to take care of the house, our pup and well everything. I come home tired and worn out just to be yelled at knowing it’s her pain. I’m beat and hurt and feel like giving up.
She doesn’t need to take it out on you. You need to set boundaries with her. You’re not there to be a doormat.
A heart to heart conversion is needed. In a calm manner where both of you try to understand the other person and finish it with a big hug.
There is a sense of grief that comes with having a partner that has chronic pain, but didn’t start the relationship that way. My husband has psoriatic arthritis and ankylosing spondylitis.
I love him so much. Some days I am tired and having a hard time keeping up with household tasks and our two boys. But I try to keep up as best as I can and try not to be hard on myself for it. We spend time with each other as best as we can to keep on filling each others cups. I enjoy taking care of David. But I know he’d be happier if he could contribute more. I let go of the idea of what he was like when we met. We’ve been married for 8 years and lots of change has happened. But he’s still my David.
I have loved this “interview” because so often I see women I respect miss complete aspects of relationships which are so often found or needed in dealing with chronic illness and seeing Joshua’s care and understanding is heartwarming to this endlessly single chick!! Thanks for you both being willing to be vulnerable, it means a lot.
It's so difficult to deal with living chronically ill and maintaining a romantic relationship. I was in a long term relationship when my illness started and after a year of dealing with chronic illness that relationship ended. I met my boyfriend this year at the doctors office and he has been the best support system I could possibly ask for on this journey, but a part of me is still nervous that this may eventually become too much for him and he may no longer be interested. Thank you for being so transparent about how this has affected your relationship. I am praying for all of us on this journey!
This was exactly what I needed tonight. Thank you for putting this out there.
thank you so much for sharing your perspective and story. i've been feeling so lost on how to navigate this and hearing from both of you makes me feel like i can keep going!
Thank you. I needed this today. Your marriage is beautiful, and I am identifying with everything your husband is saying.
So glad it helped! We just did another q+a where he answered a bunch of questions people had asked him. ua-cam.com/video/6rOwB-ALgRA/v-deo.html
You two are so cute together! Also, you're so lucky to have such an understanding husband.
Thank you Aimee for all the support your giving spouse dealing with illness I'm stage 4 kidney just found out but I'm am fighting changed my whole life style me and my husband are keeping strong please pray for us as we continue to pray for the chronic illness community
Thank you so much for this video. It helped more than you know 🥲
I can't work my hours are random we were doing so good I have to stay home and tell people I can't leave because of her resting and we have small children with no support system car wrecked been renting for 4 months Credit dropped I was trying my best to give her a good life now I feel like I'm about to let her down because I'm kinda home more I can't leave the children it's alot I pray for everyone dealing with a loved 1 who has epilepsy ill never leave her I love her so.much I'm ranting rite now smh it's alot.
You need to be tested for Lyme and coinfections. Research the tests. I used igenex and it cost over $1k. Your symptoms are Lyme plus you have Bell’s palsy which is also Lyme
ua-cam.com/video/Cnmu4LW9jZ8/v-deo.html
Your hubby looks like Alex Roe!
Great video! That's great you've both learned so much through your journey and now you can share it! New sub!
He will love that! Ill share with him.
@@Aimee_Esther 😉😁😁😁
Great video. It helped me a lot :) I'm currently trying to help my wife after our marriage she got very sick. I'm doing everything I can to take the burden off cleaning and making food and such. I just have a hard time finding the time to do everything. I do my best to schedule time to do something fun like play a game or go for a run so that I can clear my head and recharge just like your husband said. My goal is to see what other things I can do beyond just helping with chores but actual activities that she can participate in to make her feel some enjoyment and distract from pain and such. Thanks for all the advice.
We need to do another video. This one is from a few years ago. If you have any specific questions let us know! We'd love to address them in an upcoming video.
This is literally what is going on with me and my boyfriend. It's that by the time chores are done and work is done, sometimes I'm very tired. He is also feeling emasculated. It's a grieving process for him. İ love how you are saying have a balance. The service dog analogy is great because there needs to be a balance. I love him so much and I know he is going through a lot and it's not his fault at all
Love his honesty! I bet my husband could relate!
Im sure he would have sone good advice too!!
This is what Marriage is meant to be. Bless You're Hearts. ❣😇
Thank you!💙
Bless You Aimee, sleep well honey.
I wish my husband would understand me this way. He expects me to the "normal" house wife and mother but I can't. I have ADHD, Fibromyalgia, Endometriosis, Carpal tunnel, depression, anxiety and chronic Fatigue syndrome. 😢
What if you don’t want to tell them ?
It is tough when an illness takes things away from you. I have crohn's disease and i only travel for work or to meet friends but never too far as fatigue is an issue plus never know when I need the loo. At least in familar places i know where the nearest ones are :)
So sorry you have to deal with this! Wishing you luck!
We had this talk before..... many years ago I just moved overseas alone and worked really hard and I got sick when I was alone ... and all dependent on myself ....
so our life condition is different..
I find it difficult to keep the energy and motivation to work and to live with similar chronic illnesses and do all alone
How do you hold back your emotions when your loved one who is going through something like this minimizes your pain saying they are going through worse. At first you shake it off, you think they are in pain so its okay, but after being dismissed many time for your pain because theirs is bigger, you start to lose empathy. You feel alone.
That's a great question!! I'd love to answer this question in a video format, instead of typing... Follow me on IG @aimee_esther. I am starting to answer a bunch of questions every other Wednesday night 7pm MST to help answer everyone's questions that I can't always get to... I have some advice but typing it just won't do it justice. Follow me there and I'll be answering soon! :)
Please don't dislike , please ! (Those two people disliked , you can learn so much from this video)
How do you deal with someone when your loved ones illness is minimized by others?
Oh man. Thats so hard!! I felt like every doctor i saw minimized my chronic illness. Our best advice is just to love as best you can and ignore those who arent kind. Just remind your loved one how much you love and care about them. Remind them that you believe their pain and anyone who minimizes it just doesnt understand because they have never been through a trial like this. Id make sure your loved one has a support group of people who understand him/her. There are many facebook groups for people with different conditions or many youtube videos out there of others sharing their stories. Try to find someome for them that feels their same or similar pain.
ua-cam.com/video/Cnmu4LW9jZ8/v-deo.html
I'm dealing with that now we have 0 support system her siblings and mother doesn't understand its alot I'm trying to figure this out smh God has to intervene because I feel like I I can't help her even when I'm trying my hardest it's breaking me I'm just happy she's here I love her so much.
Hello, I have a question. Most of the chronic diseases are genetic, so what happens if you want to have a son? Aren't you afraid of looking at them with the illnesses or even worst? I am sorry to asking this but I am thinking about it for personal reasons. Pls someone answer me ty
My wife on kidney transplant list. In the last year of our 9 year marriage. The lask of sex is kill me. I like the service dog analogy if it's I believe it fits to my issue. As a caregiver do you run into the same issue and how do you deal with it?
Just masterbate. Your wife is literally in such pain and suffering and you’re so concerned about sex? Your poor wife.
i want to send this to my partner but i think it would make him upset ;(((
❤️❤️❤️
I have chronic uti and other issues but our main trial in our marriage is the chronic urinary infections after sex cause us to not have sex. My guilt is so heavy I feel like it’s all my fault my marriage is failing my husband seems to have this hope it will all go way but I’ve been told I just need to learn to manage the symptoms of IC 😞 my husbands false hope has made him hate me I feel. Ugh I feel so lost I don’t want to lose him but he doesn’t understand blah I’m ranting this is all so depressing and I’m laying in bed sad and alone and he’s left for the weekend because our lack of sex cause caused anger issues I guess 😞 so here I am. Chronic uti on the verge of divorce I guess. The stress is making me sicker .. maybe it’s all for the best. I never though sex would be a breaking aspect to my marriage. 🤮 I should probably just journal this. I guess I just feel alone.
I don't know you but I am praying for you Victoria.
I’m so sorry to read this. You deserve better than that. You are far more than just good for sex. I hope you’re doing okay…
Have you tried holistic healing? Send me a message if you would like help. 🙏🏽
I had scarlet fever as a child. It became chronic. I currently live with CE/CFS Fibromyalgia. Insomnia and daily migraines are a struggle for me. Waking up before noon is rare. My husband was displaying signs and symptoms of fibromyalgia and was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2014. We have a six year old and other children from past relationships. It is a real challenge to try and play the supportive role and to find self care.
🙏💜
This is very encouraging. I been suffering from digestive related issues as well. Thank you. I have been finding natural herbs and diet to cure many illnesses. Did you ever look into natural medicine to cure the illnesses? If not, I always recommend to start with a test (natural medicine) if interested it is called the GI MAP. Google it or reply or send me a message. God bless you and I will pray you BOTH get better in the near future.
Yes! Thats what i turned to first. Unfortunately there is no cure for mine 😟
@@Aimee_Esther awe i'm so sorry. I will pray for a miracle...
See how you deal with a relationship with someone with MS, hepatitis c, etc. digestive issues. Lol.
Those are not chronic illness!!!
??
Uhhhh most doctors would disagree with you. As someone with POTS, Lyme Disease, Candidiasis and toxins I can tell you that POTS and Lyme Disease are both classified as chronic illnesses.
The definition of the word chronic: "(of an illness) persisting for a long time or constantly recurring." From Medicinenet.com "Chronic disease: A disease that persists for a long time. A chronic disease is one lasting 3 months or more, by the definition of the U.S. National Center for Health Statistics. Chronic diseases generally cannot be prevented by vaccines or cured by medication, nor do they just disappear". From pccoforegon.com: "POTS syndrome is a chronic illness. In some patients symptoms go away completely, but in many it is very difficult to treat this condition and it may go on well into the adult years. Having a chronic illness like POTS can be devastating." Perhaps do even just a tiny bit of research before you post next time.
Aimee Esther I do hope you’ve been tested for Lyme, babesia, Bartonella and Rocky Mt Spotted fever. Doesn’t matter what part of the world you live in. Every condition you have is a symptom of Lyme disease.
The CDC now defines chronic Lyme disease as when the patient is treated for Lyme with the antibiotics that “work,” but they continue to struggle with symptoms or even decline.
Haha yesss . Many times! I have pots abd hashimotos disease
He should just take it and deal with his crushed dreams and expectations, eh?
No! Hire a maid, hire some help. You do NOT just put ALL the strain onto the other person and expect them to suck it up.
That guy is being drained dry in an unsustainable way. His ONLY advice is "perservere" in perfect self-sacrifice!
UNSUSTAINABLE. 😢 Not good advice. There will be days he can't do it, either.
The whole medical problem could probably be solved with a simple diet change. Go gluten free, take magnesium, make sure vitamin levels are in check, eat organic fruits and veggies and juices.
Your job is to absolutely maintain your body the best you can so your partner doesn't have to be alone running a household and a life when the expectation is that we marry to not be alone.
Even the most chronically ill person can do SOMETHING to contribute to the relationship. Find your thing!
Hm... Eat healthy and take vitamins... Never would have thought about that 😂
Don't worry I contribute to the relationship. If this is the only video you've seen from me, and have never spent a day with us then you have no idea what our relationship is like. Please save your judgemental comments for another video please. We bring love and support here!! ❤️