As someone who’s been in a relationship like this in the past, it was very painful seeing Dai getting caught in Shun’s trap. I actually cried many times watching this unfold. Shun has a lot of narcissist traits & Dai has a bit of a Superman complex as well. I hope they are both doing fine because these kind of relationships are really destructive.
He has been at orphage until he was 18 yrs old. He was expected to behave in certain way to be accepted. He walked on egg shells for a long time. He is guarding his heart i understand where he is coming from
You guys are giving him the same excuses he gives himself and that’s exactly the reason why he’s now an adult who hasn’t made any effort to change or grow, who’s hurting people around him and who has continued to do so even after “being accepted”.
This video was very interesting and a lot of it makes sense to me. The recent watch party video and the Live reunion showed that Shun was improving a lot since he was the one now learning to express himself more openly and honestly, plus, Dai also seemed to be happy with how things are progressing. I do wish for you to do an update analysis once there's more content uploaded by their official youtube channel to see how people can change or grow. I know you're being truthful but I do wish that the video would have ended on a more positive note, thank you.
So much wishful thinking. I think this is something that’s a special danger to LGBTQ+ couples, people tend to project their own thoughts and desires, instead of looking at their compatibility as an objective party. Just because you like them together, doesn’t mean anything. Shipping them doesn’t stop Shun from having literally demonstrated abusive behavior on camera and that level of problem doesn’t just go away after a few months of therapy.
I think right now shun is probably in theraphy which will benefit him alot ...i read somewhere that netflix japan reality show provide therapist to the mens after the show probably because of the terrace house tragedy where one one of the cast member took her own life because of the netizens comment.
23:28 UGH, this is so so not healthy, but I have also experienced it in a partner, someone who was drawn to me because I could be open and warm and vulnerable, but then was also disdainful and so judgemental of those same qualities later on, like a 'better' person would be less kind to them. It has to do with their childhood, in order to survive a parent's rejection, they wrote it as they were rejected because they were not good enough. So then later in life, while they want acceptance, they also think anyone who is not cold and withholding towards them must simply have too low of standards. It is very draining dating someone like that.
This video was great. And honestly, if shun wasn’t as handsome, I doubt this many people would be defending his actions. I’m someone who likes shun and wishes him the best, but It’s actually so concerning to see how many people use his past as an excuse to act the way he does. The saying “hurt people, hurt people” is being misused by shun fans, they’re using it as an excuse, when it’s only a reason behind why someone is the way they are. There is no excuse for his behavior and I’m glad he’s healing, but I hate how they refuse to let people criticize his actions…they act like criticizing his actions means we hate him and want him to fail. It really worries me because I start to wonder how these defenders allow attractive people to treat them.
great analysis. I pretty much agree with everything you said based on how they were on the show. DaiShun have been together for around 10 months now. Shun has also said he learned a lotttt from Dan and I hope that he is also as proactive in the relationship as Dai was/is and does not view vulnerability as an enemy. both of them in the boyfriend reunion was positive signs
OMG I'm so glad you are touching on this! I just finished the series and was beside myself figuring out their attachment styles! Yea Shun treated Dai horrifically. He behaves distant, refusing to invest emotionally thinking it will keep him safe, but the truth is that when Dai even showed a hint of pulling away, you can see how obviously anxious it made Shun. You either open your heart and go in with trust till the person gives you a reason not to trust, or you don't go in at all. Shun's half-measures protect him from nothing, it's a trap. Thanks for bringing up the dangers of bonding over trauma, it's a concept that confuses me sometimes when examining my connections to others, but you brought a lot of insight with saying that it's about also bonding over HOW you both learned to move PAST the trauma.
Very interesting video! Though i don't agree on a lot of the things that you're saying there's some truth to it (just my opinion) but i aslo want to let you know that dubbed version is SOOO different. It was my first time listening to it in your video so i was kinda shocked haha intonations and choice of words is so not like in original version that i couldn't even remember 70% of conversations that you included. It just seemed like completely different conversations lol now i understand why so many people don't like Shun so much they must have watched it in dub
@@Greywaren96 I think Shun is someone that you either really get or really don’t get. Your own personality matters a lot when it comes to how you’ll react to him. I found him really easy to like. Me liking him doesn’t mean that I think he’s perfect, or even want him to be perfect. I just want him to keep improving. For me, change is a conscious choice. It’s something that you’re actively doing to build a habit. It’s easy to slip out of it, but as long as you come back to making that choice, you’re changing. Holding yourself to a perfect standard is impossible. Accepting that you will make mistakes allows you to fix them.
This is so interesting. I find these videos so validating. I used to be friends with someone who used to start nearly every conversation - after a date - with, “he is just obsessed with me”. She said ‘men that are obsessed with her’ were her ‘type’. It rarely seemed to be about who she liked or felt a connection with. She even said once that she likes men to be obsessed with her, so she could purposefully be nonchalant and keep the power. But, as soon as his ‘obsession’ subsided, she’d start to feel insecure and lash out. Hence most relationships were toxic or short lived. I always found it odd, but was met with others applauding her behaviour by saying that ‘she knows her worth’. Needless to say, we had a very short lived one-sided, toxic friendship.
This is not to disagree with your tke on DaiShun relationship cause I mean, who am I to disagree 😅. But I really genuinely believe for Shun's development it is really takes someone like Dai for him to grow. I don't think it just the trauma of past relationships that makes Shun self-centered but more of his upbringing being an orphan and without a family, he really has to look after for himself. He did not have the opportunity to learn on how to think about others and how to convey his feeings towards them. Yes, at the beginning I am also worried that Dai might lose himself if he continued pursuing Shun, but by later episodes, I do see that he is not oblivious of the one-sidedness of the relationship and he is also setting boundaries for himself, and I think for that, I am giving faith that this relationship is not as toxic as it is perceived. Shun does not act with malice but he is just really oblivious, and Dai I believe is smart enough to recognize that.
@@EfraimNkengurutse there is His Man,they have season 1,2 and 3,I don't recommend season 3 if you have anger issues like myself 😂I stopped watching at ep8 but still was angry even after 3 days,I needed to watch another show to calm myself 😂I highly recommend season 2,the best of all the seasons
@@EfraimNkengurutse Boy Meets Boy was one of the first ones in the US, around early 2000s i think? Then there were Finding Prince Charming, and the more recent UK one I Kissed A Boy.
@@EfraimNkengurutse apparently they had an Are You the One? for an entirely queer cast. Also, not a dating show per se, but there's a Marry me or Move on, Queer version.
20:20 Shun's face says EVERYTHING here, he's so thrilled that he was labelled the 'most challenging' love of someone's life. But healthy attachment is the opposite of being a 'challenge' to bond with. Shun is too ego driven to realize this.
Wow what a great analysis, you made so many brilliant observations. I love the title of this video as well. So simple and true! I can't wait to watch this show now. Another excellent video Dr. Cherie.
I love this video! I just finished the series a while back and was profoundly worried and bothered by Shun and Dai's dynamic... Some of those things you know are wrong even if you cannot put a name on them. Thank you, Dr. Cherie, for putting names on what was upsetting. I really hope Shun seeks help for his trauma and Dai learns that its know their job to fix anybody... Sad to watch but a learning experience nonetheless.
I really wasn’t supportive of their relationship after watching the main episodes for these reasons. I really hope that he’s grown since they started dating because what he’s shown on the show can’t be sustainable for someone else to deal with
uhm if he didn’t grow then would dai be able to put up with him for almost a year. do you see whats going on these days between them? their photos, their videos, their vlogs, their updates. shun is much more happy now, he smiles a lot now, he doesn’t closed himself off like in the series, he proactively also seeks affection from dai. dont judge him based on what netflix showed you cause all of that is editing to create more drama and suspense
@@koo-k4e it isn’t a personal attack on Shun that I use the show to create my perception of him. People do that with all reality TV shows. For a lot of you guys watching, you used the show to create a positive perception of him. One could also say that you shouldn’t assume him to be a good partner based solely on the edit. All of that’s to say that I created my opinion based on the show and I don’t think it’s an invalid opinion just because it doesn’t align with Dai’s decision to be with Shun anyway.
😊I believe all fans of Daishun would appreciate this. As a dedicated Daishun fan, this means a lot to me. I admire Dai a lot. It was heartbreaking to watch the show and see him go through difficult times because of Shun. Dai has taught me a lot and made me feel sad for myself. I love him more than Shun, however, I love them together as well because we need people who are different from us to be able to grow. ❤ #DaiShun forever. @Daishun ( 😢They will learn from each other and grow 😢)❤
thank you for the analysis. Some watcher easily forgive all of Shun's "hurtfull" actions because of his "victim" status and it's aggaravating me lol. There are people who had the same trauma as Shun and are not as misleading, gaslighting and demanding as him, in reality, would you date him if you were treated like that? But people just love to watch the drama and defends him because truthfully, they are not emotionally involve as the person who is mistreated but as a spectator who like the chasing/resisting show by shun and Dai.
Wow thanks for the analysis. Its so interesting. DaiShun are so cute together. I really hope shun can change and grow and be considerate to dai. Dai is such patient, understanding lovely guy.
Yes, thats so true. I never understand how people are so sure to forgive shun hurtful action as if i didn't hurt dai in process. All of the thibgs you said i agree with you to a 100% .One thing i want to add is that i think that there is lot of of pretty privelege involve. Since they are a lot of girls and boyslove lovers watching it is cleary obvious ....Im not really good in explaing and my english is not good.. so that might sound weird.. but if shun actually would be Dai the whole table would be turned .I definelty feel like there is alot with the appearance of the person involve in the way the audience react to it . The amount of love and emfaphy people give to shun than dai is defentitly clear
Idk I felt like him having a crush on Dai was a conflict of interest. It’s not unrealistic to think that his romantic feelings for Dai may have influenced the way he acted, intentionally or not.
I'm glad I came across this channel as it helps me better understand the dynamics between Dai and Shun objectively. Part of the reason I watch reality shows like this is because I find it interesting to analyze the decisions and actions of the participants and what emotions or other factors might have led them to that, so I really enjoyed listening to a professional's thoughts about this show. I think you've raised some good points about their relationship which I haven't really thought to be much of a concern at first but now it's become something I also need to reflect on. I'm just genuinely curious though, are these actions purely intentional or part of it were done subconsciously/unconsciously? I don't know if I'm putting it right since I don't know much about psychology but is it something he does to intentionally hurt people or something he can't help but do due some factors (like maybe his experience, habit etc.). Personally, I don't think Shun acts purely out of ill intention. Regarding DaiShun, I do support them but I also agree that there's still has a lot of healing and learning to do for them. Recently, in an interview, Shun admitted that his past relationships were often self-centered but now he has changed his perspective on love and striving to build mutual respect and love with his partner. I hope he continue with this resolve. I'm still hoping the best for them. Anyways, this video has been educational for me and allowed me to gain some new perspective on relationships. Thanks for sharing it!
Thank you for your comment 🙂 I think the behaviours seen on the show are part conscious and part unconscious. I don’t think Shun at the time of the show had enough self awareness to understand where his mood swings were coming from: ie. his subconscious fears of abandonment and feelings of inadequacy. He’s desperate to not feel hurt internally, so redirects the cause of his pain onto Dai, hence punishing Dai with silent treatment, shame, abandoning Dai first before Dai gets to abandon him. These behaviours can be seen as more conscious decisions, but that does not mean ill intentioned, because it only reflects how desperate Shun is to avoid further trauma. What I point out in my video is the importance of having self awareness, to know when the problem is within ourselves, and when we need to do our own psychological work and healing. Otherwise we will hurt those who love us and self sabotage in relationships.
That was such an interesting video, i find myself a lot of times wondering if i ship this couple or not, because at the same time that i want to, logically speaking their relationship is so messy... They've been together for 10 months now and i cant stop myself from thining how are they now? If i had to guess i would say they will eventually break up, so im gonna enjoy the couple content they give us while it lasts lol. I do have a question... Do you think that is possible that Shun has completely changed the way he behaves because of Dai? Is it possible to learn how to have a healthy relationship being in a relationship?
Thank you for your comment 🙂 I believe we are all capable of growth if we choose to. It’s totally possible for people to grow within a relationship, but it requires the person in Dai’s position to start exerting healthy boundaries in order to create a need for change. Change and psychological work is inherently difficult, because it involves facing hard truths about ourselves. Self awareness can initially be unpleasant. So when your partner does all the work for you, it’s easy to stay in our comfort zone, even though it’s not good in the long term.
In some of the contents they have released after the show, I saw some growth in Shun, it may take some time to fully heal from his past but I think he is on the right path, or atleast I hope he is. I don't know why but you suggesting they will eventually break up made me kinda sad because I just watched their vlog on youtube where they were discussing their plans, like travelling together and taking care of each other and how much they are looking forward to a future together. I feel genuine happiness when I see people in love, because love is such a beautiful emotion. And I am sorry if it seems like I am coming at you cause that's not my intention, I just wanted to state my opinion 😅
@@alienbride101 i loved the maturity in your response, when I said that I think they'll eventually break up you didn't attack me or anything lol. I do wish them happiness and a long loving relationship, but somethings they said made me unsure, like how they fight almost everyday and when Dai said Shun is the same he was in the reality... idk.. in the end it doesn't really matter what I think because what matters is if *they* are happy and getting along well. I just don't want to be blind and ship them like they're perfect
@@beatrizyukie2789 I'm just going to enjoy whatever they put out there and am not going to invest any emotions 😅I love them but Shun is like a timebomb he might explode anytime lol,they still fight everyday and imagine them fighting and throwing food for a simple question which needed a simple answer 😂,I really applaud Dai for his patience because I can never,Dai doesnt even look the same anymore from their little clips I see,it's now ShunDai and not Daishun,nobody should come for me😂
I am glad someone said something because I couldn’t understand all the daishun shipping on social media. I really liked the show that I watched it more than once. I am also glad to seen LGBTQ representation in Japan. That being said, Dai and Shun relationship has been toxic since the beginning. More confirmation on that when they said at the reunion that they fight often and had to change the carpet at some point because one of them threw the pot on the floor. Dai on the show said “I wanted to hit him”, so I am worried about Dai’s reaction to Shun’s behavior.
Lol! First of all it's not “shipping” because they are in relationship in real life. Second, if you ever named at least one couple who didn't fight at all I would agree to your statement. Next, dai didn't literally mean that he will hit shun it's more like expression. Toxic? They are both honest to each other, they express what's on their mind truthfully, they did not fake anything towards each other, you call that toxic? Lastly, the reunion is just a statement how their relationship grew from the start, i don't know what y'all seeing.
As an Asian myself, on some occasions, you have to know that some translations might be wrongly interpreted sometimes though. This happens a lot because I never saw any translation say that they would go as far as hitting each other tho. Throwing the pot? Yes. But hitting each other? No.
@@BitterSweetCoffee3 its normal to fight if you dating and we literally saw DAi's behaviour toward shun. He had a lot of patience and compassion towards shun. He never wanted shun to feel down. Its literally obvious that Dai is always trying to get more to shun but shun is turning away. At the end shun finally realise his feeling but at these same not acknowledging what dai did to him.
Finally, someone talking about Shun's behaviour. It's crazy that so many people online are excusing his behaviour. The show was so hard for me to watch. Dai kept putting up with Shun's manipulating behaviour that he shouldn't have, it must have been exhausting. A lot of people around the world have been dealt a shitty card/hand in life but it's no excuse to treat others poorly. Please take time to work on yourself so that you don't hurt other people.
Wow i really like this analysis! I'm in awe of how you explain this so well and see people for who they are. It is hard to admit, but I see myself in parts of Shun and it makes me realise that i should be more vulnerable to make relationships more equal and make the other person feel seen. Thank you so much ❤
I love your analysis and I felt the same while watching this show,these people in the comments thinks when some1 doesnt agree with how shun acted it means they hate shun😅wake up BL delusional fans this is not a drama but real life story,Shun needs help if not Dai will get tired eventually because this is exhausting,I love that they are still together even after a year and I hope he has matured and seeked help because he really needs it,I don't want his past self to consume him,I pray that Dai gets all the patience to handle all his shortcomings
hey girly!!! there is another love is blind version out but from the uk. there are some very interesting dynamics that i would love to hear you analyze
I’ve experienced what it’s like to be on Dai’s side mainly. But I can identify a lot with Shun b/c he appears to have a disorganized attachment style. My guess is that Shun craves love but he may have severe abandonment trauma and feel that no one could ever truly understand or love him for who he is. I suggest therapy for him cause it’s working wonders for me lol❤😂 25:39 I just reached this part and I have to take back a few parts of my initial hypothesis. The fact that Shun was emotionally beating up Dai like that cannot be excused. He really does need therapy cause his toxic patterns could end up traumatizing Dai😢
Hi Dr. Cherie, many thanks for covering this! By episode 6 into the show, I was desperately hoping that you would watch and make a video of the Dai-Shun dynamic. It is interesting to watch the evolution of Dai from the 1st episode to who he seemed to have morphed into at the reunion.
Before you got to the Shun’s personality type, I had already guessed his functions and their order. I didn’t watch the show but this is a sad dynamic and can very painful for the receiver. I hope the best for both of them.
@@slayespa oh really? Curious about your thoughts. I can’t confidently weigh in since my predictions were based on this UA-cam video, putting me even more degrees away from what happened. I’ll let Dr. Cherie weigh in if that feels right to her. I will say, just based on the clips shown here, that Shun doesn’t seem like a Fi dominant person. And, based on the clips, it seemed to me that he was often reacting to old memories rather than what was happening in the moment- which the commentators seemed to pick up on as well. That behavior is more consistent with Si as I understand it. But, again, take what I say with the disclaimer that I didn’t see any of this first hand.
@@rcplease Shun came across as a classic Fi dominant person to me. I’ll try to explain some of my reasons for why being Fi dominant fits Shun. Fi dominant people are guided by a strong sense of personal values. Shun makes decisions based on what resonates with him emotionally rather than what is popular or externally validated. Shun is authentic and true to himself, even to the point of being misunderstood by others who don't share or understand his internal logic. Shun experiences emotions intensely and privately. His feelings are deeply rooted, and he doesn’t readily express them outwardly, leading others to see him as reserved or mysterious. In his interactions with others, Shun may appear distant or hard to read, but his actions are driven by a deep inner world that he selectively shares with those he truly trusts. Fi types maintain their individuality and don’t conform to external pressures, which can make Shun appear unconventional or difficult to understand by those around him. Fi dominant people also prefer to form deep connections with a few people rather than many shallow ones. They take time to open up, but once they do, their loyalty and commitment are strong. Shun evaluates situations and people based on his internal values rather than societal norms. This internal evaluation influences his decisions in the show, where he’s seen making choices that others might find puzzling but which make perfect sense to him based on his internal moral framework. I tried my best, but all of this would make a lot more sense if you’ve watched the show. If you do watch it, I definitely recommend the English subtitled version over the dub.
@@slayespa Let's talk about Shun, before we type him. Here are few observations from the show. He wants a relationship for traditional reasons: Marriage & kids. Furthermore being on the show is a utility to finding a partner for Marriage. Finding a partner for marriage is generally a conservative standard. When he is deciding on his partner he is comparing them with exes and his memories of them. Comparing is a method of evaluating a standard. Do you agree with these observations? Are these qualities of a Thinker or Feeler?
My sentiments exactly if this couple were to go to her for psychotherapy they will definitely brake . For a psychologist to actually ignore the fact that Shun was raised at an orphanage up@@rcplease
😊I believe all fans of Daishun would appreciate this. As a dedicated Daishun fan, this means a lot to me. I admire Dai a lot. It was heartbreaking to watch the show and see him go through difficult times because of Shun. Dai has taught me a lot and made me feel sad for myself. I love him more than Shun, however, I love them together as well because we need people who are different from us to be able to grow. ❤ #DaiShun forever. @Daishun ( 😢They will learn from each other and grow 😢)❤
As someone who’s been in a relationship like this in the past, it was very painful seeing Dai getting caught in Shun’s trap. I actually cried many times watching this unfold. Shun has a lot of narcissist traits & Dai has a bit of a Superman complex as well. I hope they are both doing fine because these kind of relationships are really destructive.
He has been at orphage until he was 18 yrs old. He was expected to behave in certain way to be accepted. He walked on egg shells for a long time.
He is guarding his heart i understand where he is coming from
You guys are giving him the same excuses he gives himself and that’s exactly the reason why he’s now an adult who hasn’t made any effort to change or grow, who’s hurting people around him and who has continued to do so even after “being accepted”.
This video was very interesting and a lot of it makes sense to me. The recent watch party video and the Live reunion showed that Shun was improving a lot since he was the one now learning to express himself more openly and honestly, plus, Dai also seemed to be happy with how things are progressing. I do wish for you to do an update analysis once there's more content uploaded by their official youtube channel to see how people can change or grow. I know you're being truthful but I do wish that the video would have ended on a more positive note, thank you.
So much wishful thinking. I think this is something that’s a special danger to LGBTQ+ couples, people tend to project their own thoughts and desires, instead of looking at their compatibility as an objective party. Just because you like them together, doesn’t mean anything. Shipping them doesn’t stop Shun from having literally demonstrated abusive behavior on camera and that level of problem doesn’t just go away after a few months of therapy.
I think right now shun is probably in theraphy which will benefit him alot ...i read somewhere that netflix japan reality show provide therapist to the mens after the show probably because of the terrace house tragedy where one one of the cast member took her own life because of the netizens comment.
If Shun is going to therapy I'm so glad for him, I myself grew up with loving parents and still need therapy, so not harm at all going to therapy 😊
23:28 UGH, this is so so not healthy, but I have also experienced it in a partner, someone who was drawn to me because I could be open and warm and vulnerable, but then was also disdainful and so judgemental of those same qualities later on, like a 'better' person would be less kind to them. It has to do with their childhood, in order to survive a parent's rejection, they wrote it as they were rejected because they were not good enough. So then later in life, while they want acceptance, they also think anyone who is not cold and withholding towards them must simply have too low of standards. It is very draining dating someone like that.
This video was great. And honestly, if shun wasn’t as handsome, I doubt this many people would be defending his actions. I’m someone who likes shun and wishes him the best, but It’s actually so concerning to see how many people use his past as an excuse to act the way he does. The saying “hurt people, hurt people” is being misused by shun fans, they’re using it as an excuse, when it’s only a reason behind why someone is the way they are. There is no excuse for his behavior and I’m glad he’s healing, but I hate how they refuse to let people criticize his actions…they act like criticizing his actions means we hate him and want him to fail. It really worries me because I start to wonder how these defenders allow attractive people to treat them.
great analysis. I pretty much agree with everything you said based on how they were on the show. DaiShun have been together for around 10 months now. Shun has also said he learned a lotttt from Dan and I hope that he is also as proactive in the relationship as Dai was/is and does not view vulnerability as an enemy. both of them in the boyfriend reunion was positive signs
OMG I'm so glad you are touching on this! I just finished the series and was beside myself figuring out their attachment styles! Yea Shun treated Dai horrifically. He behaves distant, refusing to invest emotionally thinking it will keep him safe, but the truth is that when Dai even showed a hint of pulling away, you can see how obviously anxious it made Shun. You either open your heart and go in with trust till the person gives you a reason not to trust, or you don't go in at all. Shun's half-measures protect him from nothing, it's a trap.
Thanks for bringing up the dangers of bonding over trauma, it's a concept that confuses me sometimes when examining my connections to others, but you brought a lot of insight with saying that it's about also bonding over HOW you both learned to move PAST the trauma.
Bro what's with that cingey English dubbing!
Very interesting video! Though i don't agree on a lot of the things that you're saying there's some truth to it (just my opinion) but i aslo want to let you know that dubbed version is SOOO different. It was my first time listening to it in your video so i was kinda shocked haha intonations and choice of words is so not like in original version that i couldn't even remember 70% of conversations that you included. It just seemed like completely different conversations lol now i understand why so many people don't like Shun so much they must have watched it in dub
girl this is a Therapist
He came off bad in the japanese version tho babes, a lot of japanese watchers were not happy with him
Ikr dub Shun feels like a whole different person 💀
@@lalina11 Therapist doesn’t mean you’re always right about everything lol. Especially when it comes to people you’ve never even spoken to.
@@Greywaren96 I think Shun is someone that you either really get or really don’t get. Your own personality matters a lot when it comes to how you’ll react to him. I found him really easy to like. Me liking him doesn’t mean that I think he’s perfect, or even want him to be perfect. I just want him to keep improving. For me, change is a conscious choice. It’s something that you’re actively doing to build a habit. It’s easy to slip out of it, but as long as you come back to making that choice, you’re changing. Holding yourself to a perfect standard is impossible. Accepting that you will make mistakes allows you to fix them.
I’m kinda like shun 😭😭 definitely eye opening when soon from external points of views well atleast up to 12:00 😭😭 beyond that ..
I realized im like shun too, i need to work on myself.
i needed to hear this. it's very enlightening for my own experience recently. thank you so much
This is so interesting. I find these videos so validating. I used to be friends with someone who used to start nearly every conversation - after a date - with, “he is just obsessed with me”. She said ‘men that are obsessed with her’ were her ‘type’. It rarely seemed to be about who she liked or felt a connection with. She even said once that she likes men to be obsessed with her, so she could purposefully be nonchalant and keep the power. But, as soon as his ‘obsession’ subsided, she’d start to feel insecure and lash out. Hence most relationships were toxic or short lived. I always found it odd, but was met with others applauding her behaviour by saying that ‘she knows her worth’. Needless to say, we had a very short lived one-sided, toxic friendship.
Sitting oneself up on a throne with thick walls built around you is not power, it’s a desperately lonely place 😔
@@DrCherieTypes thank you for these amazing videos. They’ve really helped me better understand myself and those around me ❤️
This is not to disagree with your tke on DaiShun relationship cause I mean, who am I to disagree 😅. But I really genuinely believe for Shun's development it is really takes someone like Dai for him to grow. I don't think it just the trauma of past relationships that makes Shun self-centered but more of his upbringing being an orphan and without a family, he really has to look after for himself. He did not have the opportunity to learn on how to think about others and how to convey his feeings towards them. Yes, at the beginning I am also worried that Dai might lose himself if he continued pursuing Shun, but by later episodes, I do see that he is not oblivious of the one-sidedness of the relationship and he is also setting boundaries for himself, and I think for that, I am giving faith that this relationship is not as toxic as it is perceived. Shun does not act with malice but he is just really oblivious, and Dai I believe is smart enough to recognize that.
big up japan for giving us a gay dating show, we have progress to do here in the west
the west has many tho
@@Adaobieistyping personnaly i dont know any reality tv show based on love and dating with only gay men.
do you have exemple ?
@@EfraimNkengurutse there is His Man,they have season 1,2 and 3,I don't recommend season 3 if you have anger issues like myself 😂I stopped watching at ep8 but still was angry even after 3 days,I needed to watch another show to calm myself 😂I highly recommend season 2,the best of all the seasons
@@EfraimNkengurutse Boy Meets Boy was one of the first ones in the US, around early 2000s i think? Then there were Finding Prince Charming, and the more recent UK one I Kissed A Boy.
@@EfraimNkengurutse apparently they had an Are You the One? for an entirely queer cast. Also, not a dating show per se, but there's a Marry me or Move on, Queer version.
Gotta say i love the caption in the thumbnail 🤣😭
If someone asked me to guess their MBTI’s after watching the show I’d say Shun is INFP and Dai is ENFJ.
haven't watched this show, but always here to support Dr. Cherie
20:20 Shun's face says EVERYTHING here, he's so thrilled that he was labelled the 'most challenging' love of someone's life. But healthy attachment is the opposite of being a 'challenge' to bond with. Shun is too ego driven to realize this.
Wow what a great analysis, you made so many brilliant observations. I love the title of this video as well. So simple and true! I can't wait to watch this show now. Another excellent video Dr. Cherie.
I missed your content! Very happy to learn about this show and hear the thoughtful analysis.
I love this video! I just finished the series a while back and was profoundly worried and bothered by Shun and Dai's dynamic... Some of those things you know are wrong even if you cannot put a name on them. Thank you, Dr. Cherie, for putting names on what was upsetting. I really hope Shun seeks help for his trauma and Dai learns that its know their job to fix anybody... Sad to watch but a learning experience nonetheless.
I really wasn’t supportive of their relationship after watching the main episodes for these reasons. I really hope that he’s grown since they started dating because what he’s shown on the show can’t be sustainable for someone else to deal with
uhm if he didn’t grow then would dai be able to put up with him for almost a year. do you see whats going on these days between them? their photos, their videos, their vlogs, their updates. shun is much more happy now, he smiles a lot now, he doesn’t closed himself off like in the series, he proactively also seeks affection from dai. dont judge him based on what netflix showed you cause all of that is editing to create more drama and suspense
@@koo-k4e it isn’t a personal attack on Shun that I use the show to create my perception of him. People do that with all reality TV shows. For a lot of you guys watching, you used the show to create a positive perception of him. One could also say that you shouldn’t assume him to be a good partner based solely on the edit.
All of that’s to say that I created my opinion based on the show and I don’t think it’s an invalid opinion just because it doesn’t align with Dai’s decision to be with Shun anyway.
😊I believe all fans of Daishun would appreciate this. As a dedicated Daishun fan, this means a lot to me. I admire Dai a lot. It was heartbreaking to watch the show and see him go through difficult times because of Shun. Dai has taught me a lot and made me feel sad for myself. I love him more than Shun, however, I love them together as well because we need people who are different from us to be able to grow.
❤ #DaiShun forever. @Daishun ( 😢They will learn from each other and grow 😢)❤
I’m genuinely so glad you made this video. I felt so alone in feeling like the dynamic was toxic 😭
thank you for the analysis.
Some watcher easily forgive all of Shun's "hurtfull" actions because of his "victim" status and it's aggaravating me lol. There are people who had the same trauma as Shun and are not as misleading, gaslighting and demanding as him, in reality, would you date him if you were treated like that? But people just love to watch the drama and defends him because truthfully, they are not emotionally involve as the person who is mistreated but as a spectator who like the chasing/resisting show by shun and Dai.
Wow thanks for the analysis. Its so interesting. DaiShun are so cute together. I really hope shun can change and grow and be considerate to dai. Dai is such patient, understanding lovely guy.
I would be interested in your thoughts on Kazuto during the show.
Hi Dr. Cherie😊 I'm so excited to finally sit and watch this❤
Yes, thats so true. I never understand how people are so sure to forgive shun hurtful action as if i didn't hurt dai in process. All of the thibgs you said i agree with you to a 100% .One thing i want to add is that i think that there is lot of of pretty privelege involve. Since they are a lot of girls and boyslove lovers watching it is cleary obvious ....Im not really good in explaing and my english is not good.. so that might sound weird.. but if shun actually would be Dai the whole table would be turned .I definelty feel like there is alot with the appearance of the person involve in the way the audience react to it . The amount of love and emfaphy people give to shun than dai is defentitly clear
35:00 Ikuo is the hero friend we all need in our lives, bless this man 🙂
Are you kidding? 😂
@@hahahihi9252 Ikuo gave friendship and support to Dai. People need this more than ever including Shun.
Idk I felt like him having a crush on Dai was a conflict of interest. It’s not unrealistic to think that his romantic feelings for Dai may have influenced the way he acted, intentionally or not.
Can you analyze Alan and Kazuto?
Shuns constant judgment was ridiculous. I kept fast forwarding g.
Thank you for the video❤❤ ❤
I'm glad I came across this channel as it helps me better understand the dynamics between Dai and Shun objectively. Part of the reason I watch reality shows like this is because I find it interesting to analyze the decisions and actions of the participants and what emotions or other factors might have led them to that, so I really enjoyed listening to a professional's thoughts about this show. I think you've raised some good points about their relationship which I haven't really thought to be much of a concern at first but now it's become something I also need to reflect on.
I'm just genuinely curious though, are these actions purely intentional or part of it were done subconsciously/unconsciously? I don't know if I'm putting it right since I don't know much about psychology but is it something he does to intentionally hurt people or something he can't help but do due some factors (like maybe his experience, habit etc.). Personally, I don't think Shun acts purely out of ill intention.
Regarding DaiShun, I do support them but I also agree that there's still has a lot of healing and learning to do for them. Recently, in an interview, Shun admitted that his past relationships were often self-centered but now he has changed his perspective on love and striving to build mutual respect and love with his partner. I hope he continue with this resolve. I'm still hoping the best for them.
Anyways, this video has been educational for me and allowed me to gain some new perspective on relationships. Thanks for sharing it!
Thank you for your comment 🙂 I think the behaviours seen on the show are part conscious and part unconscious. I don’t think Shun at the time of the show had enough self awareness to understand where his mood swings were coming from: ie. his subconscious fears of abandonment and feelings of inadequacy. He’s desperate to not feel hurt internally, so redirects the cause of his pain onto Dai, hence punishing Dai with silent treatment, shame, abandoning Dai first before Dai gets to abandon him. These behaviours can be seen as more conscious decisions, but that does not mean ill intentioned, because it only reflects how desperate Shun is to avoid further trauma. What I point out in my video is the importance of having self awareness, to know when the problem is within ourselves, and when we need to do our own psychological work and healing. Otherwise we will hurt those who love us and self sabotage in relationships.
That was such an interesting video, i find myself a lot of times wondering if i ship this couple or not, because at the same time that i want to, logically speaking their relationship is so messy... They've been together for 10 months now and i cant stop myself from thining how are they now? If i had to guess i would say they will eventually break up, so im gonna enjoy the couple content they give us while it lasts lol. I do have a question... Do you think that is possible that Shun has completely changed the way he behaves because of Dai? Is it possible to learn how to have a healthy relationship being in a relationship?
Thank you for your comment 🙂
I believe we are all capable of growth if we choose to. It’s totally possible for people to grow within a relationship, but it requires the person in Dai’s position to start exerting healthy boundaries in order to create a need for change. Change and psychological work is inherently difficult, because it involves facing hard truths about ourselves. Self awareness can initially be unpleasant. So when your partner does all the work for you, it’s easy to stay in our comfort zone, even though it’s not good in the long term.
In some of the contents they have released after the show, I saw some growth in Shun, it may take some time to fully heal from his past but I think he is on the right path, or atleast I hope he is. I don't know why but you suggesting they will eventually break up made me kinda sad because I just watched their vlog on youtube where they were discussing their plans, like travelling together and taking care of each other and how much they are looking forward to a future together. I feel genuine happiness when I see people in love, because love is such a beautiful emotion. And I am sorry if it seems like I am coming at you cause that's not my intention, I just wanted to state my opinion 😅
@@alienbride101 i loved the maturity in your response, when I said that I think they'll eventually break up you didn't attack me or anything lol. I do wish them happiness and a long loving relationship, but somethings they said made me unsure, like how they fight almost everyday and when Dai said Shun is the same he was in the reality... idk.. in the end it doesn't really matter what I think because what matters is if *they* are happy and getting along well. I just don't want to be blind and ship them like they're perfect
@@beatrizyukie2789 I'm just going to enjoy whatever they put out there and am not going to invest any emotions 😅I love them but Shun is like a timebomb he might explode anytime lol,they still fight everyday and imagine them fighting and throwing food for a simple question which needed a simple answer 😂,I really applaud Dai for his patience because I can never,Dai doesnt even look the same anymore from their little clips I see,it's now ShunDai and not Daishun,nobody should come for me😂
I am glad someone said something because I couldn’t understand all the daishun shipping on social media. I really liked the show that I watched it more than once. I am also glad to seen LGBTQ representation in Japan. That being said, Dai and Shun relationship has been toxic since the beginning. More confirmation on that when they said at the reunion that they fight often and had to change the carpet at some point because one of them threw the pot on the floor. Dai on the show said “I wanted to hit him”, so I am worried about Dai’s reaction to Shun’s behavior.
Lol! First of all it's not “shipping” because they are in relationship in real life. Second, if you ever named at least one couple who didn't fight at all I would agree to your statement. Next, dai didn't literally mean that he will hit shun it's more like expression. Toxic? They are both honest to each other, they express what's on their mind truthfully, they did not fake anything towards each other, you call that toxic? Lastly, the reunion is just a statement how their relationship grew from the start, i don't know what y'all seeing.
As an Asian myself, on some occasions, you have to know that some translations might be wrongly interpreted sometimes though. This happens a lot because I never saw any translation say that they would go as far as hitting each other tho. Throwing the pot? Yes. But hitting each other? No.
@@Cottonx_ctto I never said hitting each other. They said one threw the pot. My point is they are still fighting and things are getting escalated.
@@gabgarcia3392 Another Daishun stan
@@BitterSweetCoffee3 its normal to fight if you dating and we literally saw DAi's behaviour toward shun. He had a lot of patience and compassion towards shun. He never wanted shun to feel down. Its literally obvious that Dai is always trying to get more to shun but shun is turning away. At the end shun finally realise his feeling but at these same not acknowledging what dai did to him.
Hi Dr. Cherie will you be covering UK Love is Blind?
Analysis in progress 🧐
@@DrCherieTypes amazing! ☺️
@@DrCherieTypes such good news!
First video for LIB UK is out!
Finally, someone talking about Shun's behaviour. It's crazy that so many people online are excusing his behaviour. The show was so hard for me to watch. Dai kept putting up with Shun's manipulating behaviour that he shouldn't have, it must have been exhausting. A lot of people around the world have been dealt a shitty card/hand in life but it's no excuse to treat others poorly. Please take time to work on yourself so that you don't hurt other people.
Wow i really like this analysis! I'm in awe of how you explain this so well and see people for who they are. It is hard to admit, but I see myself in parts of Shun and it makes me realise that i should be more vulnerable to make relationships more equal and make the other person feel seen. Thank you so much ❤
I love your analysis and I felt the same while watching this show,these people in the comments thinks when some1 doesnt agree with how shun acted it means they hate shun😅wake up BL delusional fans this is not a drama but real life story,Shun needs help if not Dai will get tired eventually because this is exhausting,I love that they are still together even after a year and I hope he has matured and seeked help because he really needs it,I don't want his past self to consume him,I pray that Dai gets all the patience to handle all his shortcomings
hey girly!!! there is another love is blind version out but from the uk. there are some very interesting dynamics that i would love to hear you analyze
Dai is law student...we can see that thats why he is so mature level
very interresting video thank you
Thanks for the explanations❤
I’ve experienced what it’s like to be on Dai’s side mainly. But I can identify a lot with Shun b/c he appears to have a disorganized attachment style. My guess is that Shun craves love but he may have severe abandonment trauma and feel that no one could ever truly understand or love him for who he is. I suggest therapy for him cause it’s working wonders for me lol❤😂
25:39
I just reached this part and I have to take back a few parts of my initial hypothesis. The fact that Shun was emotionally beating up Dai like that cannot be excused. He really does need therapy cause his toxic patterns could end up traumatizing Dai😢
Hey, Cherie!
I think this should be seen through the lens of autism. There are signs of autism which if present, explains Shun’s behaviour.
Hi Dr. Cherie, many thanks for covering this! By episode 6 into the show, I was desperately hoping that you would watch and make a video of the Dai-Shun dynamic.
It is interesting to watch the evolution of Dai from the 1st episode to who he seemed to have morphed into at the reunion.
meaning what?
“short term harmony” 🎉🎉🎉
Before you got to the Shun’s personality type, I had already guessed his functions and their order. I didn’t watch the show but this is a sad dynamic and can very painful for the receiver. I hope the best for both of them.
I watched the show and I had completely different guesses. They were:
- Shun: Fi Ne Si Te
- Dai: Fe Ni Se Ti
@@slayespa oh really? Curious about your thoughts. I can’t confidently weigh in since my predictions were based on this UA-cam video, putting me even more degrees away from what happened. I’ll let Dr. Cherie weigh in if that feels right to her. I will say, just based on the clips shown here, that Shun doesn’t seem like a Fi dominant person. And, based on the clips, it seemed to me that he was often reacting to old memories rather than what was happening in the moment- which the commentators seemed to pick up on as well. That behavior is more consistent with Si as I understand it. But, again, take what I say with the disclaimer that I didn’t see any of this first hand.
@@rcplease Shun came across as a classic Fi dominant person to me. I’ll try to explain some of my reasons for why being Fi dominant fits Shun.
Fi dominant people are guided by a strong sense of personal values. Shun makes decisions based on what resonates with him emotionally rather than what is popular or externally validated. Shun is authentic and true to himself, even to the point of being misunderstood by others who don't share or understand his internal logic.
Shun experiences emotions intensely and privately. His feelings are deeply rooted, and he doesn’t readily express them outwardly, leading others to see him as reserved or mysterious. In his interactions with others, Shun may appear distant or hard to read, but his actions are driven by a deep inner world that he selectively shares with those he truly trusts.
Fi types maintain their individuality and don’t conform to external pressures, which can make Shun appear unconventional or difficult to understand by those around him. Fi dominant people also prefer to form deep connections with a few people rather than many shallow ones. They take time to open up, but once they do, their loyalty and commitment are strong.
Shun evaluates situations and people based on his internal values rather than societal norms. This internal evaluation influences his decisions in the show, where he’s seen making choices that others might find puzzling but which make perfect sense to him based on his internal moral framework.
I tried my best, but all of this would make a lot more sense if you’ve watched the show. If you do watch it, I definitely recommend the English subtitled version over the dub.
@@slayespa Let's talk about Shun, before we type him. Here are few observations from the show. He wants a relationship for traditional reasons: Marriage & kids. Furthermore being on the show is a utility to finding a partner for Marriage. Finding a partner for marriage is generally a conservative standard. When he is deciding on his partner he is comparing them with exes and his memories of them. Comparing is a method of evaluating a standard. Do you agree with these observations? Are these qualities of a Thinker or Feeler?
My sentiments exactly if this couple were to go to her for psychotherapy they will definitely brake . For a psychologist to actually ignore the fact that Shun was raised at an orphanage up@@rcplease
👧😊👋👍🫰❤️❤️
This is the couple more toxic that I´ve seen
This is awful. It feels like the beginnings of a domestic violence situation 🥺
😊I believe all fans of Daishun would appreciate this. As a dedicated Daishun fan, this means a lot to me. I admire Dai a lot. It was heartbreaking to watch the show and see him go through difficult times because of Shun. Dai has taught me a lot and made me feel sad for myself. I love him more than Shun, however, I love them together as well because we need people who are different from us to be able to grow.
❤ #DaiShun forever. @Daishun ( 😢They will learn from each other and grow 😢)❤