People just tend to forget that you don’t need to be in a relationship in order to be happy. Some are just happy being single. Or maybe the chemistry doesn’t click. But in general, some just don’t vibe that way. End of the damn story.
yeah and even if you're someone who's happier in a relationship, I'm pretty sure that only applies to people who you WANT to be in a relationship with. I think most people would be happier single than they would be in a relationship that they don't want
You were not being heartless may dear; and he didn’t care about you as you can probably see now. Relationships are not a transaction, you can’t just buy gifts for someone and expect a relationship. A relationship is not a vending machine where you put in coins and you get your treat. 🤢💀 If anyone treats you like this and pushes your boundaries, run😟 if someone manipulatively guilts you into trying to be their friend or have a relationship with them in any way, they are not nice, they are selfish and entitled. You either are interested in someone or you are not, no amount of them doing a certain thing is going to change how people feel. Chemistry is a mystery🤷🏽♀️ You don’t owe anyone your body or a relationship, ever
Alright, Here's something for you all: If somebody is in love with you, dating you or just a "good friend" yet they are acting toxic, to be afraid to leave them, even if they say that'll hurt them so bad, or they'll do some-- bad things if you leave. Just leave, your mental health isn't worth the one person that's so called meant to be with you. And if you don't know what toxic behaviour is: -Always wanting to know where you are, at all times. - Talking behind your back - calling you names, even if it's so little like " Lazy." - Not letting you hang out with friends, or assume your cheating or such. Those are some, please. Don't stick with people who are toxic, even if you think you'll hurt them. It's better to think of yourself in these situations. Sorry if this wasn't really on topic on the video, just had to put it here.
I'm actually happy at this point in my life that no one liked me in my whole time in school. I realized in my 30s that I really don't want to be in a romantic relationship at all. It is just a hassle from the looks of it.
yeaah peer pressure's a bitch. There was a time where this guy "had a crush" on me in middle school where the only time or way he'd show it was around other people. As in, they would pressure him to ask me for my number and say in his name "hey this guy likes you". There was literally a time where like 20 kids from both my class and his were trying to convince me to give him a chance when he obviously didn't like me and was just in it for the joke being pulled on me. Thankfully I didn't fall for it bc I've gone through enough bullshit even before him and all those bullies but goddamn, people can be so mean : ((
This is honestly something I’ve been needing, I’m so tired of being made to feel like shit just because I’m not interested// done with the relationship and my reason not being “Valid” enough ❤️
Gosh I went through a very similar experience. I've seen other girls talk about nice guys and such but its the first time someone talks about the peer pressure and how other people can also enable this sort of behavior. In my case, all of my best friends (mostly women) were telling me I should have given him a chance, that he loved me so much, and basically making me feel guilty for not liking him. Surprisingly the guy that liked me was taking it super well at the start, like after he asked me out and I said no, it was akward, but after a while things went back to normal. I think my so called friends weren't just pressuring me, but also encouraging him, and I think there would have been a chance of him actually giving up and moving on if other people didn't put their noses where they didn't belong. Tbh I almost did the same as you and give into the demands of my friends, I also thought something was weird about me for never having liked someone (later I would understand that I was just in the ace spectrum and I experienced love very differently). I considered just dating him to see if that maybe would fix this issue, maybe I just needed to date someone and then I'd be like everyone else. I almost did this, I didn't actually date him thankfully and it was all thanks to one of my friends. She was the only one that didn't blame me, didn't vilify me, didn't make me feel like crap for not liking this guy, she just told me "If you don't like him, you don't like him, there ins't anything that can be done about it." These words stopped me from prioritizing his feelings over my own. Obviously a lot of things happened later, he did kinda stalk me from middle school all the way until the end of high school when I managed to completely cut him off when I went to college, but this is a long story and I don't wanna write a 10 page essay in the comments. What I wanted to say is that I'm still thankful that I never dated him and I'm sorry that your friends managed to make you cave in. I wish everyone had a friend to tell them that If you don't like this person, you don't, and there is nothing that can be done about it.
I've attempted to date a couple times in highschool/college (before I dropped out due to stress and emotional health being shit). And uh... had a few experiences. I had... let's just say three boyfriends that stood out to me the most. One of them was messed with by my own mom. My first time dating in highschool, was with a boy in the same grade as me. He told a friend of mine that he had feelings for me (which I founded weird, because yes, I was that girl that boys would try to prank by asking out). And I had developed feelings for him while playing a game of hide and seek. While we were dating, he told me to sit on his lap, when I didn't feel comfortable doing, but I did either way, and I would message him "Morning!" or "Good night", and got no response from him. After a week of him "avoiding" me, and not answering my messages, I just told him "Hey, I don't have feelings for you anymore. I want to break up." and boy, did he blew up on me. He started to rant about how he's going to make me regret breaking up with him, and I just blocked him. Ever since, I haven't seen the greaseball, I didn't even hear any rumors at all. So his threats were as empty as my heart was after the break up. My second time, was with a boy who shared the same name as my brother and dad. He was a bit unkept, but I still liked him. We dated for a while, but my mom didn't like him at all. She kept planting these ideas that we should just break up, all because he's rich. Yeah, she didn't want me to date him, because he was rich. The exact opposite of what people would assume. And it started to fuck with my head to the point that I just lost all feelings. That, plus the fact that he went into homeschooling and I haven't seen him much due to his family forbidding him from coming outside for most of the days. So that relationship ended. The crazy part was he was those weird fantasy kids that believed they would be possessed by an evil creature or that their friends were actually a tiger princess from another world that came to Earth for their safety. The last one was my last attempt of dating. It only lasted like... less than a day honestly. Got into a relationship with this guy after he said that he has feelings for me, fell asleep, and woke up, just... dead. I had lost those feelings so fast, that I told him that I wasn't interested anymore. He kept trying to get me to fall in love with him, and went into this future plan of his where I moved to his home state, he goes to college while I worked, and how we would get married and all that. Meanwhile he tried to convince a friend of mine at the time to convince me to try dating him again. I told him that I got super weirded out by him and told him to never message me ever again. I have never heard a word from him. He either had a really bad heartbreak to this day or just moved on already. Now, if you want entitled, I have an extreme Christian story for you (note, I know not all Chrisitans are like this, but this one ruined Chrisitanity for me forever). His name will be Jojo Fries, because he hated that nickname for a while. Jojo Fries was that extreme Christian that believed that all Atheists should be sent to hell, and he tried to convert me and my friend at the time to Chrisitanity. He failed so many times. He failed with the friend, and he failed *worst* with me. Fucker tried to convince me that if I become a born again Christian, that my dad won't be a sinner anymore and return to my mom (at the time, my parents were divorcing because my mom didn't want my dad who cheated on her with two women). So I was rightfully angry that he said that to me, and told him to fuck off. Did he ever tried to date me? Fuck no, I don't fit in his god forsaken list of desires he wants from a woman. Yeah, he had a list of what he wanted in a woman, and when I said he was entitled, *BOY WAS HE ENTITLED.* His list was literally "A young (by young, he means not over 30) virgin woman who is a devoted christian like me. Not a single mom, and doesn't have any form of mental disability or is mentally unwell (he means depression, anxiety, all that stuff). Is skinny and pretty, and not an atheist in any way possible." I told him that he would have to take his standards down a peg, because there's really nice single moms and everyone has a form of mental health going on. And he went "I don't want a broken woman and I don't want a used woman." He basically wanted the Virgin Mary, and it's just like... Wow, you are... truly going to be lonely with that attitude. I'm not saying it's impossible to meet a woman like that, but with his behavior, and his drinking problem, there's a very, very, VERY, low chance of him finding someone. And it probably doesn't help that he's also... *a fucking super straight*. I hope this was wacky enough for you!
Hell fucking yes!!!! Thank you! I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve been told to give a guy a chance when they are scaring me or pushing their expectations on me non stop. For all my dudes and dudettes who are going through this or have gone through this you don’t owe anyone shit. You are not obligated to return anyone’s feelings!! I know it’s not easy when they’re being toxic and telling you how you’ll cause them to kill themselves but you don’t deserve to put up with their bullshit. Stay safe everyone.
Alright, 'nice guy' story. I was a freshmen in high school that went to choir every day. There was this baritone I sat near and had his binder number next to mine. We started talking because of him mixing up the numbers and putting his folder in my cubby. Sounds like middle school but I promise this is something that lives in choir. Basically he starts getting a bit too... touchy. I wasn't one to hug or hold hands at the time and he seems to really like giving awkward hugs. He also would try holding my hand, tried giving me gifts, things you explained here. He would also try telling stories to impress me. Including him getting into a fight with cops. He wasn't a good kid and I started becoming scared of him. The only reason why I was even able to get away was that he didn't know my address and I moved schools. I legit broke up with him on the last day of school with one of my male friends being there as support. I still remember how neck beard acted like I was crazy or delusional, trying to gaslight me as the doors closed on the bus. It was rough but at the very least I got past it.
Dammit Mal, I'm literally about to go to bed. I thought us Aussies were supposed to stick together and post when other Aussies would be awake because no one else ever does, smh 😔 Alas, it seems my viewing of this will have to be postponed because I am going to be a good boi and go to sleep... at half past 3 am which is not very good but at least it's better than going to bed at 6 am-
Hahaha, I’m so sorry. The Timezone struggle is real but fortunately my sleep schedule is just ruined so it sorta works out. Do the smart thing and get some rest, don’t be insane and sleep deprived like me.
Oh my God the gift giving is a pain from my experience too ughhh- there were multiple of my friends would give me gifts despite me CLEARLY telling them I don't want gifts in general and made me uncomfy but they kept going (this was even before I knew they liked me haha) but the amount of guilt tripping from other and myself after is snndjdhjenmn, I'm glad I never folded, I'm sorry you had to deal with this guy and I'm glad you were able to get out of that situation
Romance is like food, if you feel sick by the option being given tell the person to stop or just say no and tell the people persuading you to shut up. You never own anyone shit no matter how many villages they destroy no matter how many things they gave you. Their is nothing wrong with trying that being said if you don’t feel the love you can’t give the love. Moral the story love is not friendship you can’t just give that and especially not love. If you don’t love someone you can’t force yourself to. Nothing is free in this world you’re always paying something no matter how small no matter how tiny or big and giant it is. Don’t let or other people pressure, and don’t press others if you do that your being a prick and a bad friend. Overall no memes no love is earned not given you can’t force people together like magnets and don’t shame people because they didn’t given someone a chance it may be cold but it is what it is. Overall respect peeps boundaries. Imma head like the night before peeps say I’m repeating myself. Also if they keep pressuring you after ya say no either have a talk or get new friends or peeps to hang around OK BYE.
I’m aromantic and have dealt so much with this. They would keep asking and I didn’t know what to do other then just convince myself I like them. I thought for so long it was normal to feel disgusted/repulsed by ur partner for at least a week until you can swallow that feeling doen
5:22 Trust I am not the one to talk to. I don't get gifts or women who like me in that way. On a less self deprocate-y note, I've always hated the idea of "no is just how they feel now, they'll come around later if you just try harder". My thought process has always been "That's like me saying no to a food I don't like and people trying to force it down my throat. It's disregarding what I've said, not respecting my boundaries and ultimately making me like it less." If someone says no to me, that's it for me. I suck it up, eat some pizza, play some Mario Kart and *move on.* "Trying harder" isn't going to increase my chances with them. It's only going to push them away. The way I see it, if I really liked the person, I'd want them to be happy and if they are just happy being buds with me that's fine. Being nice to others, especially to those you like shouldn't be repaid in a relationship. It's just the bare minimum of being a human being. rejection can be hard but don't let it cloud your view on the person or your judgement. You might do some things you'll regret in the future....(Gosh, can't go 2 minutes without writing an paragraph in a comment section.) Also I DO care about the new background......Granted, probably wouldn't have noticed if you didn't point it out but we don't need to talk about that part.
Being a "dorky girl", I had... a lot of guys hit on me or ask me out through high school and college but the ones that stick out to me most are Grimdark Zack, "Where's my Hug?", and Pickle Boy. The second one would, as you might expect, ask where his hug was when he saw you in the hallways -- first day of senior year, I told him to check the hallway garbage can. He laughed and then said "ok but really though" -- "nice guys" do not care if you set boundaries or not
I think that you can apply this to any sort of relationship really. If someone's giving you gifts or special treatment to guilt you into doing something. It's just a guilt trip to make you feel bad for not "returning the favor," i.e. not giving them what they want. Or to pressure you into returning the favor. If a person with romantic intrests in you does that, so you'll "give them a chance". Leave. If a friend does that to you so that way you'll hang out with them more. Leave. And if a family member or other authoritive figure does this to make you more compliant. Leave (if and whenever possible). Also just a little gift since you've said that you have never had anyone clap for you. 👏👏👏
i remember being 15 and a bit of a shy sad boi having a thing for me and i was pressured to date him. i just was not interested at all. i said no repeatedly. we ended up kissing when i was very drunk. i scolded him for taking advantage of my drunken state and also apologised for confusing his feelings by doing so (no, bad teenage me, don't feel bad for people who do that). his response was to invite me over to get me drunk so we could kiss again. bro, c'mon now. he eventually got over me and learned that no is no. teen brains are just not good at things like that, but we learn eventually, hopefully lol.
I appreciate this so much. Thank you! Thank you so much! I hate how movie romance and fairytales display romantic love and how relationships just fall onto the lap of giving a chance there is that perfect person you need to keep chasing.
WHY HAVE I LIVED THIS EXACT STORY?!?! The only difference is that while i was actively dating him, people said horrible things about how weird he was, and while I agreed, I felt inclined to take up for him. People wondered why i would date someone so weird, and so I was also being judged for his actions. When I finally broke up with him, he made a scene and for several weeks would drag his backback on the ground as he sulked, trudging through the halls just to make sure everyone knew he was depressed, and it didn't take long for everyone to figure out why. Because I had broken his heart and was a horrible person, and the same poeple who talked bad about him came to me saying I should take him back because I broke his heart.
Whenever my friends ask me something that has to do with relationships, I always just ask, "Are you happy?" or "Do YOU want to be in that relationship?" I've seen relationships throughout the years and I think it is very important for the relationship to be equally sided instead of just one. If you aren't happy then get out of there, don't think of the other person's feelings if you break it off. You can still be nice and stuff but just keep in mind that your feelings matter too. Don't get into a relationship if you don't have those feelings with that person. Don't fall for no bs guilt trip. I've seen that stuff happen in friend groups time and time again. Your feelings are just as important and if friends are pressuring you to get in a relationship, either tell them off or get new friends. Sorry I am still salty about what happened to my one friend :h idk I just hate that stuff a lot and people's feelings being thrown out just because someone wants to get with u like...
when I was a kid, I used to accept gifts from guys but not know that they were trying to get in my pants so when I turned them down they got really mad for spending money on me. I ended up going "fuck it, if they want to give me shit that's on them and their gifts don't mean they get access to my love life"
Reminds me of this weirdo in high school I had to deal with. It was no secret that I couldn’t stand him and everyone knew it. I would stay away from him, I wouldn’t approach him or talk to him. Basically I avoided him like the plague. Skip to when to when all of a sudden homeboy throws his poor friend at me to ask me how I felt about him. In the cafeteria. Near my group of friends. Teen me was already going through a lot of shit back then and this was the last thing she needed. I was quiet, kept to myself and this felt like everyone knew what was going on. Luckily my friends were on my side and supported me. I wanted to curse the guy out but I couldn’t cuz unfortunately he was friends with some people I actually didn’t mind being around (not like it matters). His friend was nice and chill. He understood my answer and didn’t vouch for him which made things so much easier. So prior to his “feelings” which honest to god I have no idea how that happened this moron made insensitive “jokes” about mental illness, called the suicide helpline as a “joke” and never even talked to me. What this guy liked about me is beyond me cuz we never so much as had a conversation. I always hung out with my friends and doodled during class. Everyone who knew me knew how uncomfortable this whole situation made me and how gross I felt. I’m just happy I stood my ground and said “No, I don’t like him.” to his friend. I really don’t know what he thought would happen. Part of me feel that it was a weird prank since it came out of nowhere. Tell me how can you like someone when you don’t even get to know them? Am I weird for thinking that’s how love (or hell just relationships in general) work or? Mans didn’t even know my favorite color pfft
I went through something a bit similar - I started dating a guy I befriended in my sophomore year a couple years back. I thought for sure we'd be together forever; we'd known each other for years and I felt extremely comfortable around him. However, it wasn't long before the cracks began to show, and we were only together for 8 months. I don't think either of us handled our relationship or the breakup particularly well, but looking back, I really did feel that same sort of pressure to get into a relationship with him; but not from friends. No, *I* told myself that I had to date this guy for reaons I won't get into. It was a messy situation and I wish that I'd tried to be civil with him after we broke up, because he really was a good guy. We just weren't the partners the other person needed at the time.
I was in several relationships between college and now that ranged somewhere between emotionally unrewarding and low key toxic (on both ends, mainly my fault), where we said we were dating, I'd make a few romantic gestures, but it wasn't that differant from being friends, and they just ended. It wasn't until fairly reccently that I realized I didn't have too high standards or was just emotionaly unavailable, but just... wasn't interested in people in that way. I was just dating because that's what I was expected to do at that age, and I am sincerely sorry for any of my partners whose time I wasted or made feel bad.
5:22 Yes Mali, it does happen in reverse, only that instead of physical gifts... it's usually exclusive company and attention, and that usually develops into the lady feeling entitled to asking for the most expensive item in the menu, gifts or jewerly in exchange for that exclusive time. As sad as that sounds, in this shall we say enviroments, men provides physical rewards, while women provides emotional ones, its another reason why Escorts or Sugar Daddies are still raging on specially this day and age
Oof, relatable. Ppl rly need to learn to just take the hint & move on with their lives. A relationship isn't the end all be all & those who treat it like that are often the ones who struggle to even make them work.
Oh god the many stories I have of nice guys who wanted to date me but either didn’t know how to ask or were just not my type and they couldn’t get the signs. So many trinkets they gave me that I kept out of spite and…just because I liked them. Glad I’m not the only one.
I went through something almost similar happened (no outside parties was involved). But a guy did pressure me into dating him when I didn't have feelings for him. What snapped me to say its over was him kissing me and me feeling disgust. He wasn't rude rude, just annoying(?) I never got gifts from any of my exs only dates to the movies and 2 traumatic experiences(from the same guy). So life moves on ig.
5:28 😂 dunno, but as a guy I like giving random gifts to people. Not in a weird way- it just makes me happy lol. They're only ever random doodles, bc last time I gave bought gifts, I tried giving my best friends both friendship bracelets to match mine and they BOTH lost them 😭 never been so butthurt in my life.
About a year ago now i broke up with my ex, but i actually had to do it TWICE. They said that i didnt have a good enough reason and preasured me to go see them so i could just watch them cry ans get guilt tripped into staying. I ended up dumping them a second time and they did tge same thing this guy did, they demanded EVERY gift back. I was way too much of a pushover.
I had this guy follow me from middle school clean into my junior year of high school. Chased(and I do mean chased) me everytime he saw me. Wanted to tackle me with hugs. And it was no secret that I was completely infatuated with a guy who wasnt interested in me. But this guy comin after me was relentless. I ignored him. I didn't want to talk to him. I had standards and he didnt fit them. Junior year, during hybrid learning he kept asking for hugs. Every damn day. And every day I'd say no. Absolutely not. Now, I'm no innocent rose either. I was just as bad as him when it came to the guy I liked, but maybe a little better than my admirer. I've grown out of it, I cringe at my younger self. But one day, 2 days before valentines day, I bought my crush a lil present (even after hed rejected me for three years...yeah I know I was absolutely terrible. Like I said, I've grown since then) and, unsurprisingly, got rejected. Didnt hurt any less than the other times. My admirer, took that as a sign that he should hug me. Then sniffed my shirt and told me I smelled nice. Ick. Ick entirely. After that, once he truly got the hint that I would not touch him with a ten foot pole, he moved on. He didnt come back for senior year but I was honestly glad he didnt. He and I both were terrible for what we did but I don't think hes grown out his habit.
I’m super late. But I used to watch family matters a couple of years ago. And one main plot point is Steve trying to get with Laura. And looking back. I really hate how the two gotten together since Laura told Steve that she’s not interested yet she is paint as naive or in the wrong. I wish the two just became best friends showing the audience that it’s okay for a person to not like you back and how you need to respect people boundaries and wishes. I think we need more media where boys and girls can just be friends. Cause there literally grown ass man who believe that once a woman is in a relationship with a guy. She can’t have male friends. Like how insecure and possessive you can be to not allow your partner to have friends of the opposite gender because of your belief that you might get cheated on. New flash people just want to have friends and not to be in peoples friends. Sorry for the rant. I just find this topic interesting since I start to notice how people point it out in media and so on. And thankfully I haven’t gone through that. Well not yet since I’m only 15 and a freshman in high school.
I was the class outcast. The truly cool kids were my friends. The wannabe cool kids wouldn't be seen with me, but would act like friends so long as nobody was looking. I had a massive crush on one guy, but he wasn't feeling it and we were never more than friends, no matter how much I tried to make it more. (looking back, I was pretty cringe.. but he's a racist, now, so I think I dodged a bullet) I chilled way the fuck out as I got older, and now I'm married to a great guy, and we vibe. :D
My last relationship was like this. I was with him for six months and I was almost ready to marry him. I was homeless at the time and my father had disowned me, mý best friend had inexplicably stopped talking to me and my mother had died. I was in a place where I was desperate for someone to love me. He also had the attitude of "we're meant to be together" BS as well. He also treated me really badly and I tried to force myself to love him when I couldn't even stand his personality. In retrospect I feel like a total moron, but I also recognize what a horrific place I was in my life and how much it affected my judgment. I broke up with him, but even ten years later I sometimes still have flashbacks from it.
i woke up to this video and I am DELIGHTED /gen /pos edit: finished the video and I'm sweating as i remember being in a similar situation, except i was more of a pushover, there were no gifts (actually i was the one giving him shit because he constantly asked for art), and it ended ehen he threatened to blackmail me if I didn't kiss him. Oh also he didn't call me by my chosen name or accept that i eas nonbinary bc he didn't want to be seen as gay lmao
Dam, I was just thinking about declaring my feelings to my “crush” (I don’t like to call them crush feels weird idk) and something I want to tell them is that I don’t really care about if they accept me or not, I only care about how they feel and their happiness but I’m not sure if telling that because it can be overwhelming or in general tell them how I feel because I know how it feels that someone is telling you that they love you so much but you don’t.
0:13 Mal: Welcome to the new layout! What do you think? Me: wow, it’s gorgeous! It looks really beautiful, great job on it! 0:14 Mal: oh? You don’t care? Great (moving on) Me: But- I do care though, it looks really cool… oh well… and also, really nice video! Loving watching your videos, they’re very enjoyable and love the way you explain things and express yourself 💕 also some parts felt relatable, and it helped me feel better about not having feelings for a best friend of mine, so, thanks for the validation in that sense, as to not having to have a “why” you don’t have feelings for someone, very appreciated! 🥰💕
Romantic relationships are impossible. At least for me from my experience. I am spending more time on platonic relationships. What I learned from my experiences is don't spend all your time on this one person. And spend it on making real friends. But of course, I am not really good at that. I don't know if I bother people or if I am not trying hard enough. But besides that. This video was good.
To answer the question of if guys go through this, answer yes, and though I can't speak for other guys, in my own personal life my experience was even more shallow and harmed my future up to and including my current relationship. My experience was that a girl expected me to dick her down simply because she talked to me, no gifts or anything, she didn't even want a relationship, just sex, and when I said no she tried to guilt me, saying that I should be grateful she ever talked to me, that I should just do what she says, and that girls wouldn't even talk to me if they didn't want something from me because I had nothing to offer aside from being a potential fuck buddy. This didn't go over well, I told her she was gross and that I just didn't want to be around her anymore. In return she started a rumor I had punched her when she turned me down. Luckily she had a history of this and my life wasn't ruined as bad as it could have been, but still I became an unrepentantly cold and viscious person. My trust had been forever broken, and my confidence destroyed. Luckily the woman I'm currently with looked past that and actually talked to me about it, and even though it's fully my responsibility I can't express how grateful I am to her that she's been giving me the room and patience to heal.
dude played too many dating sims thinking all dating is is complimenting and giving gifts. remember boys (and girls). "no" does not mean "maybe" or "keep trying", it means no.
This story feel so close to my own personal story of why I dated a boy in high-school also why I kissed my best friend cause all of the adults in our life were like "awww they are such a cute couple" and both of us being completely unsure of what love was supposed to be were like hey since everyone says this want to kiss and see if we feel anything. Answer was no and we were like "never doing that again". Funny enough years later he came out of the closet and even more years later I came out of the closset as very Asexual. So this video was very funny to me but also hope it doesn't happen to people in the future.
Funny in a sad way that this video came out not even a year ago, considering the weard "trend" that is starting to grow (mainly) on tik tok. You brought up the saying "no means no", but you have no idea how alarmingly many videos and tweets I have seen by now from girls complaining about the boy "giving up" after beeing told "no, I'm not interested". It's mind bogeling! They literally go to social media ranting that the guy didn't put in the effort to pursue them further after they shot him down! And at this point I just feel bad for the boys xD Everyone tells them "accept that no means no" (you know, the logical thing), and than they do that, just for some girls to turn around and complain that they didn't try winning her over after she told them "no". Calling them worthless loosers who never where serious and couldn't bother to put the work into winning her over! I'm a girl myselfe, and I'm gona tell you all now: MAKE UP YOUR GOD DAMN MIND! Eather you want boys, or really anyone trying to date you, to accept no as no, or you don't. Don't try playing 4D chess with a poor souls heart just becouse you think it's "uwu cute and quirky" to test if they will try to winn you over when you tell them "no"!
I’d think I’d show the segment of you talking about when “a bitch says naw” to Amy Rose and tell to imagine that you are talking about the opposite gender
Hope you read this. You said you never had a crush in highschool. Why was that? I'm an adult in a few months and I have never felt 'love'. I've never had a crush before but I keep longing for a relationship. Hearing you didn't have a crush is comforting that I'm not hopeless.
You're certainly not hopeless! I was the same at your age, wanting a relationship but never feeling that attraction to anyone. It took me years to figure myself out. In my case, the label I've found I relate to the most is demiromantic -- I don't catch feelings easily, and I need to have a strong bond with someone first. I've only had a couple of crushes in my life, always on good friends or trusted acquaintances; my girlfriend and I were close friends for eight years before we started dating. Be kind to yourself; you'll find your answers in time. And whatever those answers may be, know that you are valid. I wish you the best. ❤
@@farewelltimetofly thank you for responding. I am on the ace spectrum but never considered being on the aro spectrum since I do want a relationship so badly.
If I’m to be honest, to this day I’ve never really had a crush on anyone. The only times I’ve seen someone and thought maybe it was a passing notion or something I’d forced. I’ve more or less come to terms with the idea that I’d it happens one day it just will and chasing after it is a good way to end up in a bad relationship for both parties. So my advice would be not to over think it! Everyone loves in their own way and time even if that love doesn’t look like a Hollywood movie cut out. Even if that love is only ever platonic, there’s no reason to think you won’t one day have a relationship if that’s what you want. Especially when more and more people are becoming comfortable being ace or a-romantic. In short, you’re not hopeless at all. Sometimes we’re just wired this way. Especially when we’re teenagers! Trust me high school is the worst for romance, don’t feel discouraged. It’s a big wide world out there. And you’ve only met a fraction of the people you’ll ever meet so don’t be discouraged. :)
Nah. NBs are too powerful. They get to choose which relates to their lived experience, both or neither. So they’re the true winners here… or losers depending on how you look at it. XD
I’ll be aiming to stream the day after this video is out. We’ll chat maybe draw, maybe make Pokémon models get ourselves canceled. Sky is the limit.
Lets gooo
I’m excited 👀
People just tend to forget that you don’t need to be in a relationship in order to be happy. Some are just happy being single. Or maybe the chemistry doesn’t click.
But in general, some just don’t vibe that way. End of the damn story.
yeah and even if you're someone who's happier in a relationship, I'm pretty sure that only applies to people who you WANT to be in a relationship with. I think most people would be happier single than they would be in a relationship that they don't want
You were not being heartless may dear; and he didn’t care about you as you can probably see now.
Relationships are not a transaction, you can’t just buy gifts for someone and expect a relationship. A relationship is not a vending machine where you put in coins and you get your treat. 🤢💀
If anyone treats you like this and pushes your boundaries, run😟 if someone manipulatively guilts you into trying to be their friend or have a relationship with them in any way, they are not nice, they are selfish and entitled.
You either are interested in someone or you are not, no amount of them doing a certain thing is going to change how people feel. Chemistry is a mystery🤷🏽♀️
You don’t owe anyone your body or a relationship, ever
Alright, Here's something for you all:
If somebody is in love with you, dating you or just a "good friend" yet they are acting toxic, to be afraid to leave them, even if they say that'll hurt them so bad, or they'll do some-- bad things if you leave. Just leave, your mental health isn't worth the one person that's so called meant to be with you.
And if you don't know what toxic behaviour is:
-Always wanting to know where you are, at all times.
- Talking behind your back
- calling you names, even if it's so little like " Lazy."
- Not letting you hang out with friends, or assume your cheating or such.
Those are some, please. Don't stick with people who are toxic, even if you think you'll hurt them. It's better to think of yourself in these situations.
Sorry if this wasn't really on topic on the video, just had to put it here.
I'm actually happy at this point in my life that no one liked me in my whole time in school. I realized in my 30s that I really don't want to be in a romantic relationship at all. It is just a hassle from the looks of it.
yeaah peer pressure's a bitch. There was a time where this guy "had a crush" on me in middle school where the only time or way he'd show it was around other people. As in, they would pressure him to ask me for my number and say in his name "hey this guy likes you". There was literally a time where like 20 kids from both my class and his were trying to convince me to give him a chance when he obviously didn't like me and was just in it for the joke being pulled on me. Thankfully I didn't fall for it bc I've gone through enough bullshit even before him and all those bullies but goddamn, people can be so mean : ((
This is honestly something I’ve been needing, I’m so tired of being made to feel like shit just because I’m not interested// done with the relationship and my reason not being “Valid” enough ❤️
Gosh I went through a very similar experience. I've seen other girls talk about nice guys and such but its the first time someone talks about the peer pressure and how other people can also enable this sort of behavior.
In my case, all of my best friends (mostly women) were telling me I should have given him a chance, that he loved me so much, and basically making me feel guilty for not liking him. Surprisingly the guy that liked me was taking it super well at the start, like after he asked me out and I said no, it was akward, but after a while things went back to normal. I think my so called friends weren't just pressuring me, but also encouraging him, and I think there would have been a chance of him actually giving up and moving on if other people didn't put their noses where they didn't belong.
Tbh I almost did the same as you and give into the demands of my friends, I also thought something was weird about me for never having liked someone (later I would understand that I was just in the ace spectrum and I experienced love very differently). I considered just dating him to see if that maybe would fix this issue, maybe I just needed to date someone and then I'd be like everyone else. I almost did this, I didn't actually date him thankfully and it was all thanks to one of my friends. She was the only one that didn't blame me, didn't vilify me, didn't make me feel like crap for not liking this guy, she just told me "If you don't like him, you don't like him, there ins't anything that can be done about it." These words stopped me from prioritizing his feelings over my own.
Obviously a lot of things happened later, he did kinda stalk me from middle school all the way until the end of high school when I managed to completely cut him off when I went to college, but this is a long story and I don't wanna write a 10 page essay in the comments. What I wanted to say is that I'm still thankful that I never dated him and I'm sorry that your friends managed to make you cave in. I wish everyone had a friend to tell them that If you don't like this person, you don't, and there is nothing that can be done about it.
5:27 it's more like "I looked in your direction, you are now my peasant" type deal, but I'm pretty sure it varies from high school to high school.
I've attempted to date a couple times in highschool/college (before I dropped out due to stress and emotional health being shit). And uh... had a few experiences.
I had... let's just say three boyfriends that stood out to me the most. One of them was messed with by my own mom.
My first time dating in highschool, was with a boy in the same grade as me. He told a friend of mine that he had feelings for me (which I founded weird, because yes, I was that girl that boys would try to prank by asking out). And I had developed feelings for him while playing a game of hide and seek. While we were dating, he told me to sit on his lap, when I didn't feel comfortable doing, but I did either way, and I would message him "Morning!" or "Good night", and got no response from him. After a week of him "avoiding" me, and not answering my messages, I just told him "Hey, I don't have feelings for you anymore. I want to break up." and boy, did he blew up on me. He started to rant about how he's going to make me regret breaking up with him, and I just blocked him. Ever since, I haven't seen the greaseball, I didn't even hear any rumors at all. So his threats were as empty as my heart was after the break up.
My second time, was with a boy who shared the same name as my brother and dad. He was a bit unkept, but I still liked him. We dated for a while, but my mom didn't like him at all. She kept planting these ideas that we should just break up, all because he's rich. Yeah, she didn't want me to date him, because he was rich. The exact opposite of what people would assume. And it started to fuck with my head to the point that I just lost all feelings. That, plus the fact that he went into homeschooling and I haven't seen him much due to his family forbidding him from coming outside for most of the days. So that relationship ended. The crazy part was he was those weird fantasy kids that believed they would be possessed by an evil creature or that their friends were actually a tiger princess from another world that came to Earth for their safety.
The last one was my last attempt of dating. It only lasted like... less than a day honestly. Got into a relationship with this guy after he said that he has feelings for me, fell asleep, and woke up, just... dead. I had lost those feelings so fast, that I told him that I wasn't interested anymore. He kept trying to get me to fall in love with him, and went into this future plan of his where I moved to his home state, he goes to college while I worked, and how we would get married and all that. Meanwhile he tried to convince a friend of mine at the time to convince me to try dating him again. I told him that I got super weirded out by him and told him to never message me ever again. I have never heard a word from him. He either had a really bad heartbreak to this day or just moved on already.
Now, if you want entitled, I have an extreme Christian story for you (note, I know not all Chrisitans are like this, but this one ruined Chrisitanity for me forever).
His name will be Jojo Fries, because he hated that nickname for a while.
Jojo Fries was that extreme Christian that believed that all Atheists should be sent to hell, and he tried to convert me and my friend at the time to Chrisitanity. He failed so many times. He failed with the friend, and he failed *worst* with me. Fucker tried to convince me that if I become a born again Christian, that my dad won't be a sinner anymore and return to my mom (at the time, my parents were divorcing because my mom didn't want my dad who cheated on her with two women). So I was rightfully angry that he said that to me, and told him to fuck off. Did he ever tried to date me? Fuck no, I don't fit in his god forsaken list of desires he wants from a woman. Yeah, he had a list of what he wanted in a woman, and when I said he was entitled, *BOY WAS HE ENTITLED.*
His list was literally "A young (by young, he means not over 30) virgin woman who is a devoted christian like me. Not a single mom, and doesn't have any form of mental disability or is mentally unwell (he means depression, anxiety, all that stuff). Is skinny and pretty, and not an atheist in any way possible." I told him that he would have to take his standards down a peg, because there's really nice single moms and everyone has a form of mental health going on. And he went "I don't want a broken woman and I don't want a used woman." He basically wanted the Virgin Mary, and it's just like... Wow, you are... truly going to be lonely with that attitude. I'm not saying it's impossible to meet a woman like that, but with his behavior, and his drinking problem, there's a very, very, VERY, low chance of him finding someone.
And it probably doesn't help that he's also... *a fucking super straight*. I hope this was wacky enough for you!
Hell fucking yes!!!! Thank you! I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve been told to give a guy a chance when they are scaring me or pushing their expectations on me non stop. For all my dudes and dudettes who are going through this or have gone through this you don’t owe anyone shit. You are not obligated to return anyone’s feelings!! I know it’s not easy when they’re being toxic and telling you how you’ll cause them to kill themselves but you don’t deserve to put up with their bullshit. Stay safe everyone.
Alright, 'nice guy' story. I was a freshmen in high school that went to choir every day. There was this baritone I sat near and had his binder number next to mine. We started talking because of him mixing up the numbers and putting his folder in my cubby. Sounds like middle school but I promise this is something that lives in choir.
Basically he starts getting a bit too... touchy. I wasn't one to hug or hold hands at the time and he seems to really like giving awkward hugs. He also would try holding my hand, tried giving me gifts, things you explained here. He would also try telling stories to impress me. Including him getting into a fight with cops. He wasn't a good kid and I started becoming scared of him.
The only reason why I was even able to get away was that he didn't know my address and I moved schools. I legit broke up with him on the last day of school with one of my male friends being there as support. I still remember how neck beard acted like I was crazy or delusional, trying to gaslight me as the doors closed on the bus. It was rough but at the very least I got past it.
Dammit Mal, I'm literally about to go to bed. I thought us Aussies were supposed to stick together and post when other Aussies would be awake because no one else ever does, smh 😔
Alas, it seems my viewing of this will have to be postponed because I am going to be a good boi and go to sleep... at half past 3 am which is not very good but at least it's better than going to bed at 6 am-
Hahaha, I’m so sorry. The Timezone struggle is real but fortunately my sleep schedule is just ruined so it sorta works out.
Do the smart thing and get some rest, don’t be insane and sleep deprived like me.
Oh my God the gift giving is a pain from my experience too ughhh- there were multiple of my friends would give me gifts despite me CLEARLY telling them I don't want gifts in general and made me uncomfy but they kept going (this was even before I knew they liked me haha) but the amount of guilt tripping from other and myself after is snndjdhjenmn, I'm glad I never folded, I'm sorry you had to deal with this guy and I'm glad you were able to get out of that situation
Romance is like food, if you feel sick by the option being given tell the person to stop or just say no and tell the people persuading you to shut up. You never own anyone shit no matter how many villages they destroy no matter how many things they gave you. Their is nothing wrong with trying that being said if you don’t feel the love you can’t give the love. Moral the story love is not friendship you can’t just give that and especially not love. If you don’t love someone you can’t force yourself to. Nothing is free in this world you’re always paying something no matter how small no matter how tiny or big and giant it is. Don’t let or other people pressure, and don’t press others if you do that your being a prick and a bad friend. Overall no memes no love is earned not given you can’t force people together like magnets and don’t shame people because they didn’t given someone a chance it may be cold but it is what it is. Overall respect peeps boundaries. Imma head like the night before peeps say I’m repeating myself. Also if they keep pressuring you after ya say no either have a talk or get new friends or peeps to hang around OK BYE.
I’m aromantic and have dealt so much with this. They would keep asking and I didn’t know what to do other then just convince myself I like them. I thought for so long it was normal to feel disgusted/repulsed by ur partner for at least a week until you can swallow that feeling doen
5:22 Trust I am not the one to talk to. I don't get gifts or women who like me in that way. On a less self deprocate-y note, I've always hated the idea of "no is just how they feel now, they'll come around later if you just try harder". My thought process has always been "That's like me saying no to a food I don't like and people trying to force it down my throat. It's disregarding what I've said, not respecting my boundaries and ultimately making me like it less." If someone says no to me, that's it for me. I suck it up, eat some pizza, play some Mario Kart and *move on.* "Trying harder" isn't going to increase my chances with them. It's only going to push them away. The way I see it, if I really liked the person, I'd want them to be happy and if they are just happy being buds with me that's fine. Being nice to others, especially to those you like shouldn't be repaid in a relationship. It's just the bare minimum of being a human being. rejection can be hard but don't let it cloud your view on the person or your judgement. You might do some things you'll regret in the future....(Gosh, can't go 2 minutes without writing an paragraph in a comment section.)
Also I DO care about the new background......Granted, probably wouldn't have noticed if you didn't point it out but we don't need to talk about that part.
Being a "dorky girl", I had... a lot of guys hit on me or ask me out through high school and college but the ones that stick out to me most are Grimdark Zack, "Where's my Hug?", and Pickle Boy. The second one would, as you might expect, ask where his hug was when he saw you in the hallways -- first day of senior year, I told him to check the hallway garbage can. He laughed and then said "ok but really though" -- "nice guys" do not care if you set boundaries or not
I think that you can apply this to any sort of relationship really. If someone's giving you gifts or special treatment to guilt you into doing something. It's just a guilt trip to make you feel bad for not "returning the favor," i.e. not giving them what they want. Or to pressure you into returning the favor.
If a person with romantic intrests in you does that, so you'll "give them a chance". Leave. If a friend does that to you so that way you'll hang out with them more. Leave. And if a family member or other authoritive figure does this to make you more compliant. Leave (if and whenever possible).
Also just a little gift since you've said that you have never had anyone clap for you. 👏👏👏
i remember being 15 and a bit of a shy sad boi having a thing for me and i was pressured to date him. i just was not interested at all. i said no repeatedly. we ended up kissing when i was very drunk. i scolded him for taking advantage of my drunken state and also apologised for confusing his feelings by doing so (no, bad teenage me, don't feel bad for people who do that). his response was to invite me over to get me drunk so we could kiss again. bro, c'mon now. he eventually got over me and learned that no is no. teen brains are just not good at things like that, but we learn eventually, hopefully lol.
Please I need this more to be a thing.
Valid saying you don't like someone because you don't feel it!
I appreciate this so much. Thank you! Thank you so much!
I hate how movie romance and fairytales display romantic love and how relationships just fall onto the lap of giving a chance there is that perfect person you need to keep chasing.
WHY HAVE I LIVED THIS EXACT STORY?!?! The only difference is that while i was actively dating him, people said horrible things about how weird he was, and while I agreed, I felt inclined to take up for him. People wondered why i would date someone so weird, and so I was also being judged for his actions. When I finally broke up with him, he made a scene and for several weeks would drag his backback on the ground as he sulked, trudging through the halls just to make sure everyone knew he was depressed, and it didn't take long for everyone to figure out why. Because I had broken his heart and was a horrible person, and the same poeple who talked bad about him came to me saying I should take him back because I broke his heart.
Why the heck do people do that? They said that he was weird, don’t be surprised when the relationship ends.
Whenever my friends ask me something that has to do with relationships, I always just ask, "Are you happy?" or "Do YOU want to be in that relationship?" I've seen relationships throughout the years and I think it is very important for the relationship to be equally sided instead of just one. If you aren't happy then get out of there, don't think of the other person's feelings if you break it off. You can still be nice and stuff but just keep in mind that your feelings matter too. Don't get into a relationship if you don't have those feelings with that person. Don't fall for no bs guilt trip.
I've seen that stuff happen in friend groups time and time again. Your feelings are just as important and if friends are pressuring you to get in a relationship, either tell them off or get new friends.
Sorry I am still salty about what happened to my one friend :h idk I just hate that stuff a lot and people's feelings being thrown out just because someone wants to get with u like...
when I was a kid, I used to accept gifts from guys but not know that they were trying to get in my pants so when I turned them down they got really mad for spending money on me. I ended up going "fuck it, if they want to give me shit that's on them and their gifts don't mean they get access to my love life"
Reminds me of this weirdo in high school I had to deal with. It was no secret that I couldn’t stand him and everyone knew it. I would stay away from him, I wouldn’t approach him or talk to him. Basically I avoided him like the plague.
Skip to when to when all of a sudden homeboy throws his poor friend at me to ask me how I felt about him. In the cafeteria. Near my group of friends. Teen me was already going through a lot of shit back then and this was the last thing she needed. I was quiet, kept to myself and this felt like everyone knew what was going on. Luckily my friends were on my side and supported me. I wanted to curse the guy out but I couldn’t cuz unfortunately he was friends with some people I actually didn’t mind being around (not like it matters). His friend was nice and chill. He understood my answer and didn’t vouch for him which made things so much easier.
So prior to his “feelings” which honest to god I have no idea how that happened this moron made insensitive “jokes” about mental illness, called the suicide helpline as a “joke” and never even talked to me. What this guy liked about me is beyond me cuz we never so much as had a conversation. I always hung out with my friends and doodled during class. Everyone who knew me knew how uncomfortable this whole situation made me and how gross I felt. I’m just happy I stood my ground and said “No, I don’t like him.” to his friend.
I really don’t know what he thought would happen. Part of me feel that it was a weird prank since it came out of nowhere. Tell me how can you like someone when you don’t even get to know them? Am I weird for thinking that’s how love (or hell just relationships in general) work or? Mans didn’t even know my favorite color pfft
ughhh that sounds like actual hell. I'm now glad that no boy was interested in me in high school.
I went through something a bit similar - I started dating a guy I befriended in my sophomore year a couple years back. I thought for sure we'd be together forever; we'd known each other for years and I felt extremely comfortable around him. However, it wasn't long before the cracks began to show, and we were only together for 8 months. I don't think either of us handled our relationship or the breakup particularly well, but looking back, I really did feel that same sort of pressure to get into a relationship with him; but not from friends. No, *I* told myself that I had to date this guy for reaons I won't get into. It was a messy situation and I wish that I'd tried to be civil with him after we broke up, because he really was a good guy. We just weren't the partners the other person needed at the time.
I just found this channel and I'm already subbed omg so funny
I was in several relationships between college and now that ranged somewhere between emotionally unrewarding and low key toxic (on both ends, mainly my fault), where we said we were dating, I'd make a few romantic gestures, but it wasn't that differant from being friends, and they just ended. It wasn't until fairly reccently that I realized I didn't have too high standards or was just emotionaly unavailable, but just... wasn't interested in people in that way. I was just dating because that's what I was expected to do at that age, and I am sincerely sorry for any of my partners whose time I wasted or made feel bad.
5:22
Yes Mali, it does happen in reverse, only that instead of physical gifts... it's usually exclusive company and attention, and that usually develops into the lady feeling entitled to asking for the most expensive item in the menu, gifts or jewerly in exchange for that exclusive time.
As sad as that sounds, in this shall we say enviroments, men provides physical rewards, while women provides emotional ones, its another reason why Escorts or Sugar Daddies are still raging on specially this day and age
Oof, relatable. Ppl rly need to learn to just take the hint & move on with their lives. A relationship isn't the end all be all & those who treat it like that are often the ones who struggle to even make them work.
That Idiot energy is so delicious!
At least she admits she’s not the smartest
The gremlin energy I swear. Love it. Awesome shit, Mal ❤
We shall have gremlin energy together! Appreciate ya Katie ❤❤
Oh god the many stories I have of nice guys who wanted to date me but either didn’t know how to ask or were just not my type and they couldn’t get the signs.
So many trinkets they gave me that I kept out of spite and…just because I liked them.
Glad I’m not the only one.
Women do not want candy, or flowers, or letters. Want to know what women, 100% of the time want?
Pockets.
As to your question of if we receive presents, that would require someone to actually like me so idk maybe?
I went through something almost similar happened (no outside parties was involved). But a guy did pressure me into dating him when I didn't have feelings for him. What snapped me to say its over was him kissing me and me feeling disgust. He wasn't rude rude, just annoying(?)
I never got gifts from any of my exs only dates to the movies and 2 traumatic experiences(from the same guy). So life moves on ig.
Oh let me add the ex I talked about above tried to get with my cousin.
5:28 😂 dunno, but as a guy I like giving random gifts to people. Not in a weird way- it just makes me happy lol. They're only ever random doodles, bc last time I gave bought gifts, I tried giving my best friends both friendship bracelets to match mine and they BOTH lost them 😭 never been so butthurt in my life.
About a year ago now i broke up with my ex, but i actually had to do it TWICE. They said that i didnt have a good enough reason and preasured me to go see them so i could just watch them cry ans get guilt tripped into staying. I ended up dumping them a second time and they did tge same thing this guy did, they demanded EVERY gift back. I was way too much of a pushover.
I had this guy follow me from middle school clean into my junior year of high school. Chased(and I do mean chased) me everytime he saw me. Wanted to tackle me with hugs.
And it was no secret that I was completely infatuated with a guy who wasnt interested in me. But this guy comin after me was relentless. I ignored him. I didn't want to talk to him. I had standards and he didnt fit them. Junior year, during hybrid learning he kept asking for hugs. Every damn day. And every day I'd say no. Absolutely not. Now, I'm no innocent rose either. I was just as bad as him when it came to the guy I liked, but maybe a little better than my admirer. I've grown out of it, I cringe at my younger self. But one day, 2 days before valentines day, I bought my crush a lil present (even after hed rejected me for three years...yeah I know I was absolutely terrible. Like I said, I've grown since then) and, unsurprisingly, got rejected. Didnt hurt any less than the other times. My admirer, took that as a sign that he should hug me. Then sniffed my shirt and told me I smelled nice. Ick. Ick entirely. After that, once he truly got the hint that I would not touch him with a ten foot pole, he moved on. He didnt come back for senior year but I was honestly glad he didnt. He and I both were terrible for what we did but I don't think hes grown out his habit.
this was nice. I kinda needed this video
also I'm in love with your coloring it's so amazing
If someone gives you a gift, take it, then when they are like "i gave you a gift, date me" be like "no, fuck off"
I’m super late. But I used to watch family matters a couple of years ago. And one main plot point is Steve trying to get with Laura. And looking back. I really hate how the two gotten together since Laura told Steve that she’s not interested yet she is paint as naive or in the wrong. I wish the two just became best friends showing the audience that it’s okay for a person to not like you back and how you need to respect people boundaries and wishes.
I think we need more media where boys and girls can just be friends. Cause there literally grown ass man who believe that once a woman is in a relationship with a guy. She can’t have male friends. Like how insecure and possessive you can be to not allow your partner to have friends of the opposite gender because of your belief that you might get cheated on. New flash people just want to have friends and not to be in peoples friends. Sorry for the rant. I just find this topic interesting since I start to notice how people point it out in media and so on. And thankfully I haven’t gone through that. Well not yet since I’m only 15 and a freshman in high school.
I was the class outcast. The truly cool kids were my friends. The wannabe cool kids wouldn't be seen with me, but would act like friends so long as nobody was looking. I had a massive crush on one guy, but he wasn't feeling it and we were never more than friends, no matter how much I tried to make it more. (looking back, I was pretty cringe.. but he's a racist, now, so I think I dodged a bullet)
I chilled way the fuck out as I got older, and now I'm married to a great guy, and we vibe. :D
Ur not acting like a bitch at all- your speaking FUCKING FACTS MAN💕💖💃
My last relationship was like this. I was with him for six months and I was almost ready to marry him. I was homeless at the time and my father had disowned me, mý best friend had inexplicably stopped talking to me and my mother had died. I was in a place where I was desperate for someone to love me. He also had the attitude of "we're meant to be together" BS as well. He also treated me really badly and I tried to force myself to love him when I couldn't even stand his personality. In retrospect I feel like a total moron, but I also recognize what a horrific place I was in my life and how much it affected my judgment. I broke up with him, but even ten years later I sometimes still have flashbacks from it.
i woke up to this video and I am DELIGHTED /gen /pos
edit: finished the video and I'm sweating as i remember being in a similar situation, except i was more of a pushover, there were no gifts (actually i was the one giving him shit because he constantly asked for art), and it ended ehen he threatened to blackmail me if I didn't kiss him. Oh also he didn't call me by my chosen name or accept that i eas nonbinary bc he didn't want to be seen as gay lmao
That’s terrible! I hope you’re doing better now without that guy. Sometimes you just gotta throw out the whole incel.
Dam, I was just thinking about declaring my feelings to my “crush” (I don’t like to call them crush feels weird idk) and something I want to tell them is that I don’t really care about if they accept me or not, I only care about how they feel and their happiness but I’m not sure if telling that because it can be overwhelming or in general tell them how I feel because I know how it feels that someone is telling you that they love you so much but you don’t.
0:13
Mal: Welcome to the new layout! What do you think?
Me: wow, it’s gorgeous! It looks really beautiful, great job on it!
0:14
Mal: oh? You don’t care? Great (moving on)
Me: But- I do care though, it looks really cool… oh well…
and also, really nice video! Loving watching your videos, they’re very enjoyable and love the way you explain things and express yourself 💕 also some parts felt relatable, and it helped me feel better about not having feelings for a best friend of mine, so, thanks for the validation in that sense, as to not having to have a “why” you don’t have feelings for someone, very appreciated! 🥰💕
Also, even if you like someone back, you still don’t need to date. Relationships are not required to happen.
I would have vibed with mini Mal I was also a gremlin as a child
Romantic relationships are impossible. At least for me from my experience. I am spending more time on platonic relationships. What I learned from my experiences is don't spend all your time on this one person. And spend it on making real friends. But of course, I am not really good at that. I don't know if I bother people or if I am not trying hard enough. But besides that. This video was good.
To answer the question of if guys go through this, answer yes, and though I can't speak for other guys, in my own personal life my experience was even more shallow and harmed my future up to and including my current relationship.
My experience was that a girl expected me to dick her down simply because she talked to me, no gifts or anything, she didn't even want a relationship, just sex, and when I said no she tried to guilt me, saying that I should be grateful she ever talked to me, that I should just do what she says, and that girls wouldn't even talk to me if they didn't want something from me because I had nothing to offer aside from being a potential fuck buddy.
This didn't go over well, I told her she was gross and that I just didn't want to be around her anymore. In return she started a rumor I had punched her when she turned me down. Luckily she had a history of this and my life wasn't ruined as bad as it could have been, but still I became an unrepentantly cold and viscious person. My trust had been forever broken, and my confidence destroyed. Luckily the woman I'm currently with looked past that and actually talked to me about it, and even though it's fully my responsibility I can't express how grateful I am to her that she's been giving me the room and patience to heal.
dude played too many dating sims thinking all dating is is complimenting and giving gifts.
remember boys (and girls). "no" does not mean "maybe" or "keep trying", it means no.
This story feel so close to my own personal story of why I dated a boy in high-school also why I kissed my best friend cause all of the adults in our life were like "awww they are such a cute couple" and both of us being completely unsure of what love was supposed to be were like hey since everyone says this want to kiss and see if we feel anything. Answer was no and we were like "never doing that again". Funny enough years later he came out of the closet and even more years later I came out of the closset as very Asexual. So this video was very funny to me but also hope it doesn't happen to people in the future.
Funny in a sad way that this video came out not even a year ago, considering the weard "trend" that is starting to grow (mainly) on tik tok.
You brought up the saying "no means no", but you have no idea how alarmingly many videos and tweets I have seen by now from girls complaining about the boy "giving up" after beeing told "no, I'm not interested". It's mind bogeling! They literally go to social media ranting that the guy didn't put in the effort to pursue them further after they shot him down! And at this point I just feel bad for the boys xD
Everyone tells them "accept that no means no" (you know, the logical thing), and than they do that, just for some girls to turn around and complain that they didn't try winning her over after she told them "no". Calling them worthless loosers who never where serious and couldn't bother to put the work into winning her over!
I'm a girl myselfe, and I'm gona tell you all now: MAKE UP YOUR GOD DAMN MIND!
Eather you want boys, or really anyone trying to date you, to accept no as no, or you don't. Don't try playing 4D chess with a poor souls heart just becouse you think it's "uwu cute and quirky" to test if they will try to winn you over when you tell them "no"!
the new layout is drippy
I did mute during the male chat only part but it it was tempting to unmute the video
Am I the only one who muted himself and didn't know when to endmute?
Oof been there done that was painful
The dating lasted like a week DX
I’d think I’d show the segment of you talking about when “a bitch says naw” to Amy Rose and tell to imagine that you are talking about the opposite gender
In fact I think most of this video can sum up the problems with SonAmy in general, just imagine the gender roles in the video are reversed
Hope you read this.
You said you never had a crush in highschool. Why was that? I'm an adult in a few months and I have never felt 'love'. I've never had a crush before but I keep longing for a relationship. Hearing you didn't have a crush is comforting that I'm not hopeless.
You're certainly not hopeless! I was the same at your age, wanting a relationship but never feeling that attraction to anyone. It took me years to figure myself out. In my case, the label I've found I relate to the most is demiromantic -- I don't catch feelings easily, and I need to have a strong bond with someone first. I've only had a couple of crushes in my life, always on good friends or trusted acquaintances; my girlfriend and I were close friends for eight years before we started dating.
Be kind to yourself; you'll find your answers in time. And whatever those answers may be, know that you are valid. I wish you the best. ❤
@@farewelltimetofly thank you for responding. I am on the ace spectrum but never considered being on the aro spectrum since I do want a relationship so badly.
If I’m to be honest, to this day I’ve never really had a crush on anyone. The only times I’ve seen someone and thought maybe it was a passing notion or something I’d forced. I’ve more or less come to terms with the idea that I’d it happens one day it just will and chasing after it is a good way to end up in a bad relationship for both parties.
So my advice would be not to over think it!
Everyone loves in their own way and time even if that love doesn’t look like a Hollywood movie cut out. Even if that love is only ever platonic, there’s no reason to think you won’t one day have a relationship if that’s what you want. Especially when more and more people are becoming comfortable being ace or a-romantic.
In short, you’re not hopeless at all. Sometimes we’re just wired this way.
Especially when we’re teenagers! Trust me high school is the worst for romance, don’t feel discouraged. It’s a big wide world out there.
And you’ve only met a fraction of the people you’ll ever meet so don’t be discouraged. :)
@@MaliMalware Thanks for the advice. I really apriciate it.
Telling boys not to accept the gifts we don't get.... I mean you didn't have to rub it in.
being nb i listened to both parts uhh was i supposed to?
Absolutely.
You left non-binary people out of the mix's
Nah. NBs are too powerful. They get to choose which relates to their lived experience, both or neither. So they’re the true winners here… or losers depending on how you look at it. XD