I was very nervous before publishing this video as it is probably the most personal video on this channel. However, I realized that by putting it online, I might help others who dealt (or still deal) with the same issues. And if I can do that, it's enough reason for me to put aside my own feelings of shame and doubt. Because when growing up, having someone to whom I could relate and who faced the same struggles as I was facing was definitely something I missed. I learned a lot about myself and my emotions and feelings, and I think one of the most important things I learned along the way would be to have empathy and to forgive. You can check out this video in which I talk about this in more detail ➡ua-cam.com/video/BZuB0NXAQXI/v-deo.html
I adopted my two youngest daughters from China. I am so sorry what you went through. As a mom, that makes me sad. When I adopted my children, I made sure they went to an all Chinese school in North America where everyone spoke Mandarin and were able to experience Chinese culture on a daily basis. I am pretty sure this helped a lot on terms of their developing a strong sense of their cultural identity. I am forever grateful that I grew up in a multicultural city where my children could experience their cultural identity, learn to speak Mandarin and to visit China frequently. I am amazed how resilient you are. Racism is unacceptable. I am sure your parents are very proud of you.
Thank you for your comment. It's cool to hear that your children got to experience Chinese culture from a young age. It definitely helps with developing your character. And it comes in handy when traveling to China! That's one thing I wish I could, understanding and speaking Mandarin. But I guess I'm never to old to learn 😉. I wish you and your family the best! ❤️
@@chennabay You are never too old to learn language. Im mixed Thai-Chinese, grew up in Thailand never known Mandarin. But I look very Chinese so much so that even I go to tourist shopping area in BKK, local people dont think I''m Thai but is one of Chinese tourist. I lived in San Francisco for awhile and there people , especially Chinese would just speak Chinese (Mandarin) to me on the street or at the shop. People would come and ask me direction in Chinese and I cannot understand what they say. At age 25, I decided to take a month of to study short course in Tianjin, China. There are mixed age in my class from 18 to 60 years old. I didnt learn much in class as it's such a short time but I can speak basic Mandarin from there as you have to speak the language to be able to survive daily basis from asking direction to buying food/ stuff. I wish I could stay lonnger so I can speak fluent in Chinese. So yes you can learn Mandarin from the Labguage App for now but its would be great if you could spend sometimes in China to experience culture and langauge. How amazing would be if you able to speak English, Dutch, and Mandarin!
@@mpr9928 You are absolutely right, one is never too old to learn. I actually just started to learn Mandarin and hopefully one day will be able to speak it somewhat fluently! 🙏🏽
Thank you for sharing your experience. When I was younger I went through exactly the same thing. I wish I could watch your videos when I was younger. 💓
I love that you accepted yourself and created your own identity. It's always the question, what does it mean to be Dutch, Chinese, etc? For me I'm from America but I once wondered what my ethnicity even was, White American? I hated even associating with something I disliked so much, with what I viewed as negative culturally. I now simply accept that I'm from America but nothing more. Glad you found and transcended the nationality label
I really appreciate your mom and dad they raised u with loved and care ❤❤❤❤ and we can see the result what u are now today... please keep a video for ur mom and dad love to see them tooo
Thank you for sharing! I know many second generation immigrants kids struggle with identity crisis as teenagers. Hoping my son will be as brave and resilient as you when he grows up when facing such challenges.
Nice story ... Thank You for sharing your story ... I feel that I didn't know my parents while growing up until now I still want to know my father...thanks for the inspiration ...
You opening up and being vulnerable is so inspiring. I have these same exact thoughts from time to time. It’s nice to see that I’m not alone on this journey to self love 🥹
thank you for this insight, i have a gf who is half vietnamese and has struggled with boxes, sp seing you talk about how we are not just our nationalities. we are the sum of our friends and family. im sry you had to go through such racism. makes my heart break. thank you for sharing your story ^^
I understand all your struggles and I can assure lots of people living in their own country with their own parents, knowing their background also don't feel good in their own skin . Youth is marvellous nontheless. Please be happy!
We are all adopted and loved despite how our lives exist complex; adoption is a reflection of divine love. That is how I found peace in my life. I journeyed to the US, and an American family adopted me into their family when I was 18 years old.
Be strong n be resilient n do not let others bring you down. U r blessed n hv a good family. Its ok to be as u r better then those ignorant of their own past. They r trying to bring U down. U r better then them n will do bettet then them. Mix with the right people n don't let others esp negative ones around. U will do better n be blessed. So stay strong n remember ur adopted parents as they love u.
I'm sorry you faced racism in your new country. Weird how I think of that as a far more progressive place than here in the US which has gotten a lot more racist over the last several years. Perhaps it is the way of a troubled world. But I do know that you matter a lot and so do your videos: they make a difference on our planet. Thanks for sharing your story with people. And I'll imagine that other adoptees will benefit from your truth. Blessings to you and yours - and that includes your birth parents. Paz y luz. ✨🌹
The thing is our interracial household did not have a problem. It is others that want to put a problem where there is none. There is only love and unconditional acceptance at home.
Absolutely. I have two beautiful young children with my Anglo-Australian (white) partner. They look much more like me than they do him, because as I like to say with a laugh - the Asian genes run strong 😂. Our kids don’t see any difference between their parents’ physical appearance, not that they’ve mentioned anyway, but it’s something I worry about on a usually subconscious level. Because we had a horrible incident when my partner was carrying our baby daughter as I walked in front of them down the street while out on Sunday afternoon strolling past shops, when an awful man yelled obscenities at my partner accusing him of pedophilia because our daughter didn’t look like his. It deeply upset my partner at the time and it stayed with me, 6 years later. Some people are truly awful. Bigotry is awful.
You r a beautifull girl ,and humble. I m Muslim I do respect you and your parents who raised you.Our God created all humans that's why we should respect you.please don't think about others think about yourself you r a good looking girl and have good manners.thank u.God will give you a good life.😊
Hey Chen. Dit is een hele mooie video en het is fijn te weten dat je een stuk steviger in je schoenen staat sinds school tijd. Het is nog altijd vervelend om te weten hoeveel pijn de mensen je hebben aangedaan op die school en dat je niks zei, maar ik ben echt blij dat het nu beter gaat. Ik ben nog altijd heel blij en trots om je als mijn zusje te hebben, maakt niet uit of je nu blank of Aziatisch bent. Je bent nog altijd de beste zus wat ik me had kunnen hebben.
Ur life history is extremely relatable. Our race and color absolutely don't define us who we are as a person, but who we are as "human" with extreme degree of comprehension to value life and honor nature justified that labeling and shaming are non existence and waste to be considered with no room in our heart's content. Fight and Kudos 😊
This video and you are awsome...if it was someone else in this situation they might not recover as you did,...you can bounce back that'sy god chose you to be in this situation and it will definitely help others to find light in darkness
Tú eres una ciudadana más del mundo. Naciste En China y perteneces a una raza diferente a la de tu familia adoptiva pero eso no te hace diferente al resto. Es normal que te hagas esas preguntas. Todos los niños adoptados quieren saber sobre sus orígenes independientemente de la raza o del país de nacimiento. Es normal y tus pensamientos eran normales. Eres estupenda y lo seguirás siendo.
Even non adopted children make identity crisis and sometimes in the same intensity or worse . We make crisis because we live in a material society, which is very far from God and the purpose which we are created for . Wish you all the best !
Enjoyed that So Very Much!!! Your a Beautiful Young Woman... Who is Clearly Very Intelligent... and I knew why you were doing this Video... Which Defines your Beautiful Character... and Thats The Most Important Thing!!! and Im sure it will be Very Helpful to Others!!! and Help in my Evolution too. and I go 65..... To Everyone... ✌✌🌍🌎🌏✌✌..... ❤🧡💛💚💙💙💚💛🧡❤.......
God has arranged this thing probably, so dont upset with your biology family, there must be a reason. Anyway please take care your dutch parents, from their face I can see they are very happy to have u in their life when u was child.
Girl you don't need to feel insecure or anything, your Mom & Dad gave you a second life, one you couldn't imagine if you were to grow up in orphanage home. Racism exists everywhere, don't blame yourself or anyone for it. I know children who are adoptee tends to look for their birth family in homeland, i suggest don't do it, you ended up in an orpharnage for a reason. Sorry if my words offended you but it's the truth, all the best to you!
besides the problem with racism, what do you think can help transracial adoptees feel more comfortable in their own bodies when they don’t look like everyone else? is it inevitable because wanting to be like everyone else is just a stage everyone goes through? does it help if parents make sure their children stay connected to their heritage from early on? maybe let them learn the language, traditions or have contact with people from the adoptive country? i guess it’s different for everyone. i’m not adopted so i’m just curious.
That's a really good question. I think for me just talking about it and acknowledging my struggles would already be a huge help. But the thing for me was that I felt like I couldn't really talk about it because I had no one around me who looked like me and could relate to what I was experiencing. Also, I felt a sort of guilt and shame when it came to talking about it because I didn't want to come across as a 'victim' and ungrateful (for being adopted). But to answer your question more precisely, I think just actively talking about it and acknowledging certain differences (and also what kind of impact it can have) can already be a huge help. I don't think that being introduced to my Chinese culture at a young age would be that beneficial because I think it would feel kinda fake and forced 😅
@@chennabay thanks for answering :) maybe other adoptees in your life with the same experiences would be more helpful then. i totally get the culture thing feeling forced, especially if it doesn’t come from someone who is local. i asked about culture and language because i saw one family where the mom learned chinese for her daughters and they all spoke it together, which i thought was cool because if they ever felt like visiting, it’d be easier to connect. either way, i think it’s important people think about these things before adopting. although everyone is different and you can’t predict what your child will struggle with.
I know that everyone will face some sort of crisis (as stated in the description) but as the title suggests, I'm just sharing my own experience as someone who is adopted 😉
Maybe in your 30s now? or close to it. (obviously, if this was real life and a work setting, I would lie and go under to not offend you). Puts your adoption in the early-90s. With zero scientific data supporting my opinion, I think adoptions were still tough back then. Internet was terrible. No support groups. Parents were just winging it.
Well, I am Dutch, Portages, Scotch, Irish, English and I’m American. America is the melting pot of all nationalities. I could not be more happy and proud. Oh I’m a Capitalist too.
I was very nervous before publishing this video as it is probably the most personal video on this channel. However, I realized that by putting it online, I might help others who dealt (or still deal) with the same issues. And if I can do that, it's enough reason for me to put aside my own feelings of shame and doubt. Because when growing up, having someone to whom I could relate and who faced the same struggles as I was facing was definitely something I missed. I learned a lot about myself and my emotions and feelings, and I think one of the most important things I learned along the way would be to have empathy and to forgive. You can check out this video in which I talk about this in more detail
➡ua-cam.com/video/BZuB0NXAQXI/v-deo.html
♥
I adopted my two youngest daughters from China. I am so sorry what you went through. As a mom, that makes me sad. When I adopted my children, I made sure they went to an all Chinese school in North America where everyone spoke Mandarin and were able to experience Chinese culture on a daily basis. I am pretty sure this helped a lot on terms of their developing a strong sense of their cultural identity. I am forever grateful that I grew up in a multicultural city where my children could experience their cultural identity, learn to speak Mandarin and to visit China frequently. I am amazed how resilient you are. Racism is unacceptable. I am sure your parents are very proud of you.
Thank you for your comment. It's cool to hear that your children got to experience Chinese culture from a young age. It definitely helps with developing your character. And it comes in handy when traveling to China! That's one thing I wish I could, understanding and speaking Mandarin. But I guess I'm never to old to learn 😉. I wish you and your family the best! ❤️
I can't comment
@@chennabay You are never too old to learn language. Im mixed Thai-Chinese, grew up in Thailand never known Mandarin. But I look very Chinese so much so that even I go to tourist shopping area in BKK, local people dont think I''m Thai but is one of Chinese tourist. I lived in San Francisco for awhile and there people , especially Chinese would just speak Chinese (Mandarin) to me on the street or at the shop. People would come and ask me direction in Chinese and I cannot understand what they say. At age 25, I decided to take a month of to study short course in Tianjin, China. There are mixed age in my class from 18 to 60 years old. I didnt learn much in class as it's such a short time but I can speak basic Mandarin from there as you have to speak the language to be able to survive daily basis from asking direction to buying food/ stuff. I wish I could stay lonnger so I can speak fluent in Chinese.
So yes you can learn Mandarin from the Labguage App for now but its would be great if you could spend sometimes in China to experience culture and langauge. How amazing would be if you able to speak English, Dutch, and Mandarin!
@@mpr9928 You are absolutely right, one is never too old to learn. I actually just started to learn Mandarin and hopefully one day will be able to speak it somewhat fluently! 🙏🏽
Thank you for sharing your experience. When I was younger I went through exactly the same thing. I wish I could watch your videos when I was younger. 💓
💓💓💓
I love that you accepted yourself and created your own identity. It's always the question, what does it mean to be Dutch, Chinese, etc? For me I'm from America but I once wondered what my ethnicity even was, White American? I hated even associating with something I disliked so much, with what I viewed as negative culturally. I now simply accept that I'm from America but nothing more. Glad you found and transcended the nationality label
I really appreciate your mom and dad they raised u with loved and care ❤❤❤❤ and we can see the result what u are now today... please keep a video for ur mom and dad love to see them tooo
Thank you for sharing your experience ! I was adopted too, I can relate to a lot of things you said :)))
You are strong and beautiful. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing! I know many second generation immigrants kids struggle with identity crisis as teenagers. Hoping my son will be as brave and resilient as you when he grows up when facing such challenges.
I just discovered your channel and subscribed ! You’re a beautiful person and I love your story telling skills. Best of luck !!
Thank you so much!! 💕
Nice story ... Thank You for sharing your story ... I feel that I didn't know my parents while growing up until now I still want to know my father...thanks for the inspiration ...
Thank you so much for sharing your psychological journey, your openness and grace. This is uplifting for sure.
You opening up and being vulnerable is so inspiring. I have these same exact thoughts from time to time. It’s nice to see that I’m not alone on this journey to self love 🥹
💛💛💛
thank you for this insight, i have a gf who is half vietnamese and has struggled with boxes, sp seing you talk about how we are not just our nationalities. we are the sum of our friends and family. im sry you had to go through such racism. makes my heart break. thank you for sharing your story ^^
I understand all your struggles and I can assure lots of people living in their own country with their own parents, knowing their background also don't feel good in their own skin . Youth is marvellous nontheless. Please be happy!
We are all adopted and loved despite how our lives exist complex; adoption is a reflection of divine love. That is how I found peace in my life. I journeyed to the US, and an American family adopted me into their family when I was 18 years old.
Be strong n be resilient n do not let others bring you down. U r blessed n hv a good family.
Its ok to be as u r better then those ignorant of their own past. They r trying to bring U down.
U r better then them n will do bettet then them. Mix with the right people n don't let others esp negative ones around.
U will do better n be blessed. So stay strong n remember ur adopted parents as they love u.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m glad that you were able to find your peace. You are beautiful inside and out! 🌸🌺💫
I'm sorry you faced racism in your new country. Weird how I think of that as a far more progressive place than here in the US which has gotten a lot more racist over the last several years.
Perhaps it is the way of a troubled world. But I do know that you matter a lot and so do your videos: they make a difference on our planet.
Thanks for sharing your story with people. And I'll imagine that other adoptees will benefit from your truth.
Blessings to you and yours - and that includes your birth parents.
Paz y luz. ✨🌹
Hi, thank you so much for your comment! Really appreciate what you say 🙏🏽
The thing is our interracial household did not have a problem. It is others that want to put a problem where there is none. There is only love and unconditional acceptance at home.
Absolutely. I have two beautiful young children with my Anglo-Australian (white) partner. They look much more like me than they do him, because as I like to say with a laugh - the Asian genes run strong 😂. Our kids don’t see any difference between their parents’ physical appearance, not that they’ve mentioned anyway, but it’s something I worry about on a usually subconscious level. Because we had a horrible incident when my partner was carrying our baby daughter as I walked in front of them down the street while out on Sunday afternoon strolling past shops, when an awful man yelled obscenities at my partner accusing him of pedophilia because our daughter didn’t look like his. It deeply upset my partner at the time and it stayed with me, 6 years later.
Some people are truly awful. Bigotry is awful.
You r a beautifull girl ,and humble. I m Muslim I do respect you and your parents who raised you.Our God created all humans that's why we should respect you.please don't think about others think about yourself you r a good looking girl and have good manners.thank u.God will give you a good life.😊
Thank you for sharing your experiences
Thank you for your comment! Appreciate it ❤️🥰
I wish you all the happiness!!!!😊
Hey Chen. Dit is een hele mooie video en het is fijn te weten dat je een stuk steviger in je schoenen staat sinds school tijd. Het is nog altijd vervelend om te weten hoeveel pijn de mensen je hebben aangedaan op die school en dat je niks zei, maar ik ben echt blij dat het nu beter gaat.
Ik ben nog altijd heel blij en trots om je als mijn zusje te hebben, maakt niet uit of je nu blank of Aziatisch bent. Je bent nog altijd de beste zus wat ik me had kunnen hebben.
Ur life history is extremely relatable. Our race and color absolutely don't define us who we are as a person, but who we are as "human" with extreme degree of comprehension to value life and honor nature justified that labeling and shaming are non existence and waste to be considered with no room in our heart's content. Fight and Kudos 😊
Thanks for your comment ❤️
Relatable. 100%!
Thank you for sharing, you’re a lovely person!
For the next 27 years, I helped find caring and loving families for orphans from China.
Thank you for sharing！Beautiful young lady，your identity is in Christ❤！
This video and you are awsome...if it was someone else in this situation they might not recover as you did,...you can bounce back that'sy god chose you to be in this situation and it will definitely help others to find light in darkness
Tú eres una ciudadana más del mundo. Naciste En China y perteneces a una raza diferente a la de tu familia adoptiva pero eso no te hace diferente al resto. Es normal que te hagas esas preguntas. Todos los niños adoptados quieren saber sobre sus orígenes independientemente de la raza o del país de nacimiento. Es normal y tus pensamientos eran normales. Eres estupenda y lo seguirás siendo.
I liked this video very much! You are so open ❤
Glad you liked it!!
You are a nice person. God bless you ❤
Even non adopted children make identity crisis and sometimes in the same intensity or worse . We make crisis because we live in a material society, which is very far from God and the purpose which we are created for . Wish you all the best !
Enjoyed that So Very Much!!! Your a Beautiful Young Woman... Who is Clearly Very Intelligent... and I knew why you were doing this Video... Which Defines your Beautiful Character... and Thats The Most Important Thing!!! and Im sure it will be Very Helpful to Others!!! and Help in my Evolution too. and I go 65.....
To Everyone...
✌✌🌍🌎🌏✌✌.....
❤🧡💛💚💙💙💚💛🧡❤.......
I love how you tell your story. I am part Chinese and am looking to adopt a child from China. It would be so good to chat.
Same Adoption story in my Country He found her family 43 year letter
Mooi mens ❤
Very nice❤ baby supporter here 😊
Thank you ❤️❤️
@@chennabay you’re welcome don’t forget
❤❤❤
Chennabay
Love you pikkie❤
Love you too❤️
God has arranged this thing probably, so dont upset with your biology family, there must be a reason. Anyway please take care your dutch parents, from their face I can see they are very happy to have u in their life when u was child.
You are very beautiful, actually )
❤🇧🇩.May Allah bless you
Girl you don't need to feel insecure or anything, your Mom & Dad gave you a second life, one you couldn't imagine if you were to grow up in orphanage home. Racism exists everywhere, don't blame yourself or anyone for it. I know children who are adoptee tends to look for their birth family in homeland, i suggest don't do it, you ended up in an orpharnage for a reason. Sorry if my words offended you but it's the truth, all the best to you!
They should tell you, you are chinese and dutch and embrace yourself.
besides the problem with racism, what do you think can help transracial adoptees feel more comfortable in their own bodies when they don’t look like everyone else? is it inevitable because wanting to be like everyone else is just a stage everyone goes through? does it help if parents make sure their children stay connected to their heritage from early on? maybe let them learn the language, traditions or have contact with people from the adoptive country? i guess it’s different for everyone. i’m not adopted so i’m just curious.
That's a really good question. I think for me just talking about it and acknowledging my struggles would already be a huge help. But the thing for me was that I felt like I couldn't really talk about it because I had no one around me who looked like me and could relate to what I was experiencing. Also, I felt a sort of guilt and shame when it came to talking about it because I didn't want to come across as a 'victim' and ungrateful (for being adopted). But to answer your question more precisely, I think just actively talking about it and acknowledging certain differences (and also what kind of impact it can have) can already be a huge help. I don't think that being introduced to my Chinese culture at a young age would be that beneficial because I think it would feel kinda fake and forced 😅
@@chennabay thanks for answering :) maybe other adoptees in your life with the same experiences would be more helpful then. i totally get the culture thing feeling forced, especially if it doesn’t come from someone who is local.
i asked about culture and language because i saw one family where the mom learned chinese for her daughters and they all spoke it together, which i thought was cool because if they ever felt like visiting, it’d be easier to connect. either way, i think it’s important people think about these things before adopting. although everyone is different and you can’t predict what your child will struggle with.
Everyone goes through an identity crisis in their teenage years, my dear, you’re not the first one 😹
I know that everyone will face some sort of crisis (as stated in the description) but as the title suggests, I'm just sharing my own experience as someone who is adopted 😉
Jesus loves you. St John 3:16.
Trust me, if you hadn't left China, you would have to face more discrimination about gender.
No I don’t trust you.
@@theobserver8881 You believe it or not is insignificant.
As much as it sucks, they are right. Back than, there was a lot of discrimination against woman.
Maybe in your 30s now? or close to it. (obviously, if this was real life and a work setting, I would lie and go under to not offend you). Puts your adoption in the early-90s. With zero scientific data supporting my opinion, I think adoptions were still tough back then. Internet was terrible. No support groups. Parents were just winging it.
Well, I am Dutch, Portages, Scotch, Irish, English and I’m American. America is the melting pot of all nationalities. I could not be more happy and proud. Oh I’m a Capitalist too.
DOKAZ DA SVAKI NAROD TREBA POSVAJATI DJECU U.SVOJOJ DRŽAVI .
Because of racist Europeans?
Proof that every thought need not be uttered.
🤦
Or people should just accept people the way they are and stop being racist assholes :)
i see privileged west european who was not beaten like chinese kids and dont have to work 996 and can ponder on her identity
Damm who hurt you 🥲
❤❤❤