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The Dad Challenge Podcast's Predictable Ableist Take on Wheelchair Rapunzel
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- Опубліковано 12 сер 2024
- The Dad Challenge Podcast released a video on Wheelchair Rapunzel where he predictably leaned on ableist arguments. Although he made valid points about family vlogging, ultimately, his ableism and belief that profoundly disabled people should not be parents, clouds his argument. If we truly want to stop family vlogging, we must parse out our bigotry and leave our biases at the door.
Article mentioned: www.nytimes.com/2017/10/09/ny...
“Accessible stalls are not just for the disabled. Wrong.” No, he is correct. Being ADA compliant doesn’t mean you are not allowed to use a larger stall or ramp if you’re not disabled. People are allowed to use that stall if the rest are occupied or if they’re all free. I use that stall because I have a 1 year old and I need to bring him and his stroller in with me. A lot of times too, infant changing tables are placed in larger stalls. I do not feel guilt or remorse for this. If a family bathroom is available, I’ll use it but they aren’t always.
“Just because you have a disability doesn’t mean you need an accessible stall” is incredibly ableist and gatekeeping. How do you propose we keep in check people who are disabled enough to use the large stall? ID card? Invasive questionnaire given by someone stationed in front of that stall? What is the criteria? If you are able to stand with assistance or independently are you banned? Only visible illnesses allowed, no invisible ones? What about temporary situations like a broken leg or someone recovering from surgery? You said it was nuanced but then are speaking in absolutes. You said in another comment that if people only used the larger stalls when they need to we wouldn’t have to assume. What if they are? What if every person who uses a larger stall is doing so because they need to? You’re still making assumptions and being judgmental towards others.
People with chronic pain don’t need more room but then they might? Contradictory and goes back to the nuance you mentioned but are now completely glossing over. You don’t know why someone with chronic pain needs. You’re not them or their medical team so you don’t get to dictate what accommodations they’re allowed to use.
“Just because you’re disabled doesn’t mean you don’t need every accessibility tool?” How would you feel if someone came up to you saying that to them, you don’t need to use the accessibility accommodation you’re using. You’d probably feel outrage, correct? Also, if resources are available, then yes, use them! That’s what they’re there for. And yes, people do take advantage. It’s also not your place or anyone else’s to police it because we don’t know a stranger’s story. That’s what it comes down to. Once we start normalizing scrutinizing people’s worthiness to use accommodations, it’s just going to unravel the whole purpose of the accommodations. A slippery slope of invasiveness that no one should experience. Just like you believe Josh unraveled his arguments focusing on Alex’s disability, you unraveled your arguments here by saying it’s nuanced and then having black and white arguments. I understand feeling protective and possessive over accessibility. I have felt similar as I have my own disability. So I speak from my own growth when I say it does not give you permission to gate-keep, make assumptions, or judge other people. That’s not advocating and it’s actively detracting from any other valid point you make.
When I said people don’t need every accommodation, I never said that was up to me to decide which ones they need. Josh told everyone they can and should use the accessible stall which makes it impossible for people who need it. I used chronic pain as an example. Never did I say no one with chronic pain needs an accessible stall. I was making the point that we’d all be better off if everyone only used what they need, and yes, I know that may change from day to day.
@@EricaMonesyou are just wrong. It’s accessible for anyone and everyone. You should be grateful it’s there for you but it’s not only for you. You are just another one who thinks your disability makes you special. It doesn’t. Be happy you have what you have and you didn’t get bopped on the head or thrown in the river cause that’s what they used to do with people with disabilities.
Josh is right. Alex can’t do anything for her child. She needs supports to raise that child. The thing is Alex doesn’t have proper carers for herself or her child. She leaves her with her drunk mother or with her drugged father. Alex is often left alone to watch Ari…Ari actually choked once on confetti left on the floor …if that happens when she is alone with Alex how is she going to help her?. There is no one saying disabled people can’t be parents…but if the supports aren’t in place so that it’s dangerous for the child that’s another story. You need to take your disability into account when raising a child and make sure the child is always safe.
Oof you proved my point.
@@EricaMoneslol how? Stop talking with your feelings. Facts are facts.
Her child would die if she was left alone with it for a week. Nevermind her drinking problems.
@@EricaMonesNo, she actually gave an intelligent answer, which is more than can be said for anything you post. And fyi: what you did is slander and DPC could sue you if he wanted.
@@LouieKaboom you don’t seem to understand what slander is.
So, if there is a line to pee, nobody should use the larger bathroom? It should sit empty?? I don’t recall seeing any sign saying “handicapped only”.
Handicapped is an antiquated term.
@@EricaMonessemantics
@@abbieliz396 yeah well I don’t allow that language on my channel.
That’s why in the UK 99% of the time unless you have a radar key to use it. There have been times where I’ve needed the toilet due to my disabilities and someone that’s able to wait but lazy to. Sorry but it’s true and I’m being honest from a wheelchair perspective here 😊
@@princess_krakenI’m sorry but how do you know that the person is not handicapped??? There are multiple types of handicaps that are not largely visible to the public: ostomy pouches, prosthetic devices, neurogenic bladders so thst people need to use catheters and more!!! All of these would require the use of a handicapped BR. I hate when people make judgments by outwardly appearances! I have a hidden handicap as a stage 4 cancer pt that you cannot see to look at me and I try to use the disabled bathrooms. If someone like her treated me that way for using it I’d be SO UPSET!!!!
I’m legally disabled (not physically) I’m a parent I don’t exploit my kids 🤷♀️ I use the disabled toilet too. Not all disabilities are visible! I have fricken endometriosis and autism my anxiety literally will not let me use the public toilet and the accessible toilets give you the space especially if you’re handing a flare up, leak and other things.
She should not have a child.
Because of her disability?
@@EricaMones Because she has an OF and posts her child online…lol.
@@EricaMonesbc of her!!! Her lifestyle
@@victoriakaleski2243 child isn't safe in her care. She can't care for her
@@Human-vn3bqi agree
You said "taking away because it was assumed they couldn't take care of their kid's". Alex cant take care of her kid. So that would be a valid reason to be removed, no?
Because of her disability?
Because the child isn't cared for or safe with her when in her care. You think it's in the best interest of the baby to left with a person who can't take care of him/her? You are willing to risk their life? She can't care for herself let alone another person.
@@Human-vn3bq you are being vile. Please stop.
@@EricaMonesshe's being truthful and you don't like it
She is drunk, theres videos of her drinking and she is a self admitted alcoholic. Its landed her in the hospital. She got sober before, but had since relapsed. She is a drunk, period
I never said anything about her drinking, so you are not responding to my actual arguments. I am not a fan of WR. I’ve actually made two videos criticizing her, but DCP uses ableist arguments. I’m sorry if you cannot separate your feelings about Alex from bigotry.
@@EricaMones you brought it up at 17:17 of your video. Many of us have watched her for years. We know her normal speech patterns and know when she is slurring her words. Plus she usually has the alcohol in her videos. Just because she has irregular speech doesn't mean we can pick up when she is drinking again. Your speech changes from your regular patterns, your body language changes. People try to hide it, but it's an automatic response.
@@EricaMonesyou said at 17:34 that Joshes audience is full of ignorant and ableist ppl. WR’s audience is at well. You should check out her comments sometimes. Several ableist/inspo porn type commenters on her content
@@caitlynbunt250 that’s fair. However this video was about Josh. I’ve made videos on WR too.
Erica, please keep in mind that there are many people such as me that suffer from debilitating intestinal diseases. I have Crohn’s disease and there are times it is a very long and extremely painful experience in the bathroom. I use the accessibility stall simply to have the bars to hold on to because the pain is unbearable. Sometimes I feel like you are dismissive of anyone who isn’t disabled. Take care
I realize people may have to use it for different reasons.
If you are an alcoholic, you probably shouldn’t be a caregiver to a child. Alcohol and a disability trying to care for a child. It’s not because she is disabled. It’s everything else!!!!!
Uou brought disability into it yet again.
She said you brought disability into this? Is that not what her video was about 🤣
@@EricaMones so what!! I said alcohol and a disability. She is disabled right??? Mixing uppers and downers are bad!! So is alcohol and disabilities when caring for a child. Even alcohol alone when caring for a small child is unacceptable. Mix that with someone who is physically challenged already to take care a small child! Jesus, it’s like you don’t even know about physical disabilities. Get it together woman. Stop the nonsensical bullshit you spout about this.
@@EricaMones yeah good. Delete my comment cause you know it’s true!
@@Brandi_the_Baker I didnt delete your comment.
You are doing nothing but lying about what Josh said. He’s not saying she is a bad parent for being disabled. It’s her drinking all day and exploiting her child. Children shouldn’t be on the internet. She is able to make videos without Ari in them.
But he said what he said.
Girl byeeee😅
I am a disabled parent, I watched his video and didn’t feel there was any ableism, he is right, Alex being a bad parent has nothing to do with her disability (which he said multiple times), please re-record this video with time stamps where he was ableist to prove your point.
It has clips.
He said if you require assistance lifting your child, you probably shouldn’t be a parent.
Completely agree
@@EricaMonesbut it’s true. That’s what parents do they take care of their young. Alex can’t do that. She needs 24/7 care.
@@mel_moon18 my best friend was raised by a disabled single mother. She turned out fine.
He didn’t even say anything abelistic though towards her.
He did.
@@EricaMones Do you have a timestamp of when that happened because I watched his entire video and he didn’t degrade her or make any comments about how she looks at all? He commented on her actions.
@@girl-at-home13 he said multiple times disabled people shouldn’t be parents. You can watch my video where I included clips.
@@EricaMones actually I didn’t hear that at all. He said there’s plenty of disabled parent content creators out there who do it and do it well…. I don’t know what you’re hearing
@@girl-at-home13 again, you’re welcome to watch the video I made.
Nice way to clip and use only the out of context that fits your needs. This will not age well.
What did I take out of context?
@@EricaMoneseverything
@@victoriakaleski2243 ?
@@EricaMonesyou took everything out of context you're twisting and turning it to make it seem like it's ableist but it's not
@@victoriakaleski2243 there are valid criticisms of WR. Her being physically disabled is not one. Josh brought up valid criticisms, but also said her disability makes her a bad parent.
Man DCP’s stans are wild…
I’m no WR fan, I’ve been critical of her actions and behaviors for a while now. But DCP, while valid in his critiques of her toxic behavior, refusal to address her addictions, Noah’s refusal to seek help for his mental health and addictions, and their lack of accountability, there were a couple of comments he made that toe-d the line and even crossed the line into ableism and childish bullying. I am saying this as someone with no disabilities and who is not a blind stan or WR or DCP.
Some of y’all need some serious self-reflection.
Take your own advice. He never got into that territory and said anything "ableist", as much of a jerk as he can be. No likes speaks for itself
I did like your videos until you came after DCP. He said nothing abelistic.
I’ve made plenty of videos about him before.
@@EricaMonesyeah I’ve seen them and I don’t agree. Josh is one of the most genuine UA-camrs on this platform he doesn’t target disabled people he’s made plenty of videos of all types of families. Do you honestly disagree that Alex is a bad parent?
@@colettessims it doesn’t matter what I think because the video is about how ableism derails a valid argument.
@@EricaMonesI’m sorry… I have to stop you there. I think, to be honest, you aren’t seeing the whole picture and are sadly blinded by the fact that you yourself are disabled… DCP called out one disabled person, specifically and you feel it is an attack on all. Not the case in the slightest.
DCP claimed Wheelchair Rapunzel was a bad mother because of very very specific reasons, mainly the fact she can not physically care for her daughter *DUE TO* her disability and the fact she is almost always drunk. You want to defend parents with disabilities and that’s great but Josh has not done a single thing ableist.
Josh doesn’t give a crap about parents… he cares about all the children those parents, including Alex exploit for views and cash, the children those parents are meant to protect but are putting them in direct line for pedos with each and every single video or photo… you’re on a high hose over disabilities when that’s not even what this is about…
He NEVER said her disability makes her a bad parent!! Open your ears. If you agree with her bad behavior because she is in a wheel chair is absolutely sick!! Using your disability to hurt others.
I have been critical of wheelchair rapunzel. He specifically said if you cant lift a child you probably shouldn’t have one.
I don’t use my disability to hurt others.
@@EricaMones I wasn't referring to you and I am sorry if that is what you thought.
Wheelchair rapunzel mocked a rapists underage victim. She is ableist herself. I don’t like the dad challenge, but wheelchair rapunzel is not a good person AT ALL.
I never said she was.
In the video and others on my channel, I noted the problems with Alex.
Josh rules!!!!
Ableism is great…🙄
@@EricaMonesyou think everything is ableist too huh 🤣
@@EricaMonesthere's no ablism in what he says
@@gardengirl96 just people who use disability against people.
Alex has SMA not MD they are different conditions. Please dont mis label her
They are extremely similar conditions. But yeah. After your harassing remarks, I don’t want to see you on my channel.
@@EricaMoneswhat was harrasing?
@@Human-vn3bqshe doesn't like what you said. So she calls it "harassing"
@@victoriakaleski2243 they called me a grifter with no actual examples.
THANK YOU!!! My friend sent me your video after I was ranting to her about the disgusting ableism in his video. I am strongly against child exploitation; he could have made fantastic points WITHOUT the ableism. I also hate that she said to the woman in the bathroom “I don’t know whether you’re disabled or not,” but he jumped on that as her “assuming” and called HER ableist for saying that! Even for a white man with a podcast, the audacity is ASTOUNDING!
i knew disabled people who hid the fact they have kids for as long as they could just to avoid awful comments from ableists :( one was a friend who was excellent engineering student had her cognitive abilities questioned by fellow students just because she was disabled... things like 'her grades are fake, she should go to university with other slur like her'. no shit she kept having a child a secret
also re bathrooms, there's a clinic i go to for checkups and they have only two bathrooms: 1. male 2. female and disabled. i don't think this is okay and it bothers me a lot whenever i go there :/
That’s awful!
Josh is calling out abusive behaviour NOT the person’s disability. Your comment is wrong.
I mentioned there are valid criticisms of Alex, but Josh leaned into his ableist side.
@@EricaMones no he didn’t lol
I'm in Australia and it seems like our public bathrooms are different. It is usual for the disabled bathroom to be a separate unisex standalone one (there is men's, women's and disabled and if you are in a shopping centre parents room). If you have gone into the women's bathrooms (haven't gone into the men's to know if it is the same) and there are a decent number of stalls then one of them the door will open outwards and it has handrails but the stall isn't really any bigger than the others. If there is a queue then that stall also gets used by everyone. Most people respect the disabled bathroom and leave it empty, though there will be people wo do use them.
She doesn't have MD, she has SMA
SMA is a subtype of muscular dystrophy
@@EricaMones they share some similar symptoms, but they are different conditions entirely. Goggle is free. Try it out
@@EricaMones SMA is not a subtype of Muscular Dystrophy. Please use Google. Or try deleting your comments that is wrong not mine that is correct
I’m sorry, but while I usually enjoy your videos, I just do not agree with this take at all. As a wheelchair user, I’m always shocked by how often people try to claim something is “ableism”, as if it’s a shield to protect them from genuine criticism. This isn’t ableism, rapunzel’s conduct deserves to be analyzed and critiqued, and to call criticism of her “ableism” is frankly, cowardly.
Okay, but I have critiqued Wheelchair Rapunzel without being ableist.
@@EricaMones that’s the problem. What you’re trying to claim as “ableist” really isn’t.
@@RollingDeathStar saying disabled people can’t be good parents is not ableist?
@@EricaMones um, at no point in his video did he ever say “disabled people can’t parent”. You made that assumption, like many activist types do, hearing what you think rather than what has actually been said. And that sort of mentality does much more harm to us as disabled people. The truth is he questioned Alex Davy’s ability to parent. Just her. Specifically. One person. And like his video says, as do the rest of us who criticize her… it has very little to do with her diagnosis.
@@RollingDeathStar he said if you cannot do physical tasks you shouldn’t have a child.
Erice i'm so sorry so many misinformed people are bombaring you with comments. I really appreciate the work you do on this channels and it's important to have disabled people voice their opinions. Ablebodied people love to speak over disabled folks and do shit like deny there's a need to implement accessibility solutions in public spaces but at the same time they use "larger stall" like it's a perk... Stop listening to bigots like Josh ffs
You lost me on the bathroom issue, I'm sorry.
Why?
@@EricaMones Some accessible stalls have child changing stations, often times the only place to change a baby. I for instance need to use this accessible stall because I have to empty my ileostomy bag, which is a little more convenient in a larger area. Waiting your turn for an open toilet isn't a huge deal most of the time; most of the time everyone has waited a reasonable amount of time for a vacancy.
Have you tried going to the bathroom and taking off a romper in a small stall? Not everyone can do it in small stalls. The space is needed for some.
I have not because I need the grab bars in the accessible stall. I don’t have a choice.
@@EricaMones the regular stalls are small, impossible for many people to reach their arms around to unzip their rompers to go to the bathroom, space is required. Rails are required. I really encourage you to try to be understanding of other people. Entitlement isn't a good look
@@sunshine-zs9ti that’s fine. But I don’t have a choice no matter what I wear. I cannot use an inaccessible stall.
Wearing a romper is a choice. Being disabled is not.
@@EricaMones and going to the bathroom isn't a choice. You even said the larger stalls are for everyone. We use what we need to so we can use the bathroom. I don't understand what is so hard for you to understand. Are you going to band rompers now?
I’m sorry but you have what he’s said wrong. He is not homophobic and whatever you called him. And yes, he does come down hard on child exploitation- which he should - it’s wrong!!!!
Ableist. It was in the title.
As a member of the disabled community, I didn’t feel that Josh was ablest toward WR. I don’t agree with everything he says and does, but really…
You’re entitled to your opinion.
Thank you for putting in the work to cover this and help to educate on this! Josh was just spewing disgusting ableist rhetoric.
People who twist any words for content
I thought she has SMA, not MD?
Yes.
You brought up the point that some disabled people have aides/support workers who perform some daily tasks for them. This makes sense to me; when I was recovering from surgery, I needed help with personal care, cooking, and driving to the store. But when you brought up an aide doing tasks to meet the physical needs of a child, that made me curious. Can a support worker be relied upon to perform all physical tasks for a child? Hygiene tasks, feeding, rocking to sleep, etc? I guess it would depend on the particular support worker. Honestly i just wish childcare was more affordable in general, disabled and non-disabled parents would all benefit.
Erica, I’m so glad you have covered this topic and I admire you. This Josh guess latest video just shows him to be a huge troll and to bring Alex’s ex PA, plus giving here a platform to pretty much break all data privacy laws is disgusting. I completely agree with you and again glad I found your channel 😊
I have cerebral palsy and a stoma
Until I had my stomas as well as cerebral palsy, I never thought much about people with invisible disabilities using the accessible bathroom. It can be awkward for some people. Do you have to show their Stoma if somebody decides to question them. I just hope from a personal point of view the anybody using the accessible bathroom needs to do so as I would not want to make somebody have to explain themselves. The comment about the romper really made me laugh though.
Yes, this is why people should only use it if they need, so that we don’t have to make assumptions.
I dont agree with the bathroom. Everyone has to wait for the bathroom its called being a human. If its free and no one else is there then its fair game.
Who risked their lives for the ADA? Disabled people.
@@EricaMones you sound entitled. I'm sorry if my bladder is full, and stall is open I'm using it. Everyone has to wait, disability or not. So what is there is only only 1 larger stall and 2 disabled people? You wait right? What is the difference? Everyone says they want treated the same. This is a prime example
@@Human-vn3bq if you can use any stall, you wouldn’t understand. Many people cannot use the regular stall.
@@EricaMones and able-bodied people. You think only disabled people fought that fight alone? That's insanely insulating to the families who helped.
@@Human-vn3bq they didn’t risk their lives though.
Accessible stalls have been around since the 60's
Yes, but not mandated.
@@EricaMonesbut you said you they weren't around till 91😊
@@victoriakaleski2243 I said the ADA was passed in 1990…
So yeah they didnt have to be accessible
@@EricaMones it' still has been available for quite awhile. The Ada passed in 91. But not much was happening till 97.
But they aren't exclusive for mobility issues.
The changing table is normally in there
If a mom is out with her children, they can all go in there for safety reasons
Sitting and waiting never hurts
who pays for the help she needs care for life its just not ideal to bring a child into the world...
It’s not our business how anyone pays for their needs.
You speak very strongly about these things and issues in joshes video I watched it to and I disagree with him in the same ways you said the bathroom I also I have a disability and it’s invisible i use the disability bathroom at the pool , but in different contexts where it wasn't necessary. Additionally, his insinuation that her disability contributed to poor parenting was unjust. There was no validity in his arguments. At one juncture, she admitted to not disclosing the entire narrative. Josh also admitted his lack of understanding about her situation. Your insights on this matter are appreciated; I felt quite distressed after watching Josh's video. Thanks for posting this and I have had friends with intellectual disabilities that had kids taken hope josh will say sorry for his uneducated opinions
I don’t think people understand how much of the world isn’t accessible. Most people only start to realize when they or someone they love experience life with a disability.
Thank you Erica. I love your videos. I am a child of a physically disabled mother and it's horrid to watch the vitriol that some of Alex's detractors spew. I love your balanced, critical assessments and for pointing out the glaring fact that NUANCE is sorely lacking in many of these matters. Alex is problematic... she has certainly made massive mistakes and is not forthcoming with the truth nor willing to showcase integrity by owning up to them. But the downright obsession with wanting her held to account makes me uncomfortable. People literally want her head on a platter and spend their entire lives recruiting others to feel the same. The mob mentality often makes me wonder if her disability is contributing subconsciously to their hatred... They spend a lot of time saying things like 'we hate her because of her behaviour, not her disability'. Sure... but WHY is her bad behaviour worth so much of your time?! I believe the answer to that, in some degree, is because of her disability.
You need to be less emotional about this and look at the facts. This is about the safety of a child, not about your feelings.
Less emotional about ableism?
@@EricaMones There was no ableism. Disabled people can be bad people. Its not ableist to say that. If you were less emotional about this, you could be rational about this. You have to ignore your personal bias and look at the facts. Alcoholics and junkies don't make good parents.
@@SquishyMushy I said in my video there are valid criticisms against Alex.
@@EricaMones But your focus is on the "ableism", not the safety of a child. Says a lot about you tbh.
@@SquishyMushy because that is what this video is about. I’ve made videos about Wheelchair Rapunzel.
Youve been policing youtube comments for years now grifter style and being real out of pocket, now your own audience disagrees with you
What? Do you know what a grifter is?
I’m genuinely confused with this comment.
@@EricaMones you are literally obsessed with 'abelism' and you're now reaching SJW levels of it. There's a lor of people in the comments who disagree with you and I've seen you go onto a random page and tekl someone they were being abelist and they weren't.
You're being overly sensitive and like someone else says you get upset when someone doesn't see it like you do
Grifting is lying for monetary gain.
@@Yk-nn3qr you say sjw as if it’s an insult.
Theres definitely a lack of understanding nuance from what im seeing in the comments 😬
Josh is problematic to begin with and i've always questioned how much he "helps" a cause that he so loudly espouses
Someone who gets it.
YESSSSSSS My jaw dropped when I just saw new content from you on the DCP.
❤
Thank you for speaking up about this
🏳🌈🏳⚧🏴☠
You bring up some great points. Though Wheelchair Rapunzel can be polarizing, The Dad Challenge Podcast was definitely ableist in his remarks.
he… didn’t say one ableist thing 😂😂