SCARS EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE PARENTS LEAVE BEHIND |Psych Crash Course

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  • Опубліковано 9 чер 2024
  • Feeling unloved isn't always your fault.
    It almost always destroys relationships including those relationships with the family.
    The problem is often unresolved childhood trauma while growing up under emotionally unavailable parents or family.
    That feeling of being unloved because of that emotionally unavailable parent then evolves into your life as an adolescent and then again as an adult.
    That feeling of being unloved may seem to stick with you for a long time as an adult -- and develop into general feelings of loneliness.
    According to a global survey on staticia.com, about 33% of adults experienced feelings of loneliness worldwide.
    In this video, I discuss the psychology of feeling unloved and alone.
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    #trauma #EMOTIONALLYUNAVAILABLE
    #tamarahilllpc #UNLOVED
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    DISCUSSED IN THIS VIDEO:
    0:00 intro
    State & trait loneliness
    6:03 HOW RESEARCH SEES LONELINESS
    7:52 the amygdala is triggered by loneliness and feeling unloved
    9:20 family dynamics can cause loneliness and feeling unloved
    10:10 the confusion around missing those you left behind
    10:54 HOW TO COPE WITH FEELING UNLOVED AND LONELY
    14:14 TYPE OF LONELINESS YOU MAY EXPERIENCE
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Mentioned In The Video:
    1. Loneliness survey www.statista.com/statistics/1...
    2. Feeling unloved as an adult www.psychologytoday.com/intl/....
    3. Research on feeling unloved www.researchgate.net/publicat...
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    Music:
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    🎵 Track Info:
    Epidemic Sound
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    DISCLAIMER:
    *Videos are provided for exploration and educational purposes only and does not constitute clinical suggestions or consultation for individual cases.
    If you or someone you know is having a medical emergency involving harm to self, please reach out to the suicide prevention hotline suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.
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    ----Contact me-------(BUSINESS INQUIRIES ONLY)
    I'm Támara, a licensed and internationally/Board certified trauma mental health therapist, with over 14 years experience. I specialize in helping children, teens, and families with mental illness. I also treat psychological/emotional trauma in children, teens, and adults.
    If you'd like to contact me or inquire about my international consultations, you may email me at contact@anchoredinknowledge.com. *Please note: all consultations are charged a fixed rate fee based on the case content.
    Mail me stuff!
    PO BOX 15747
    Robinson Township, PA 15244
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    Website - www.anchoredinknowledge.com
    Instagram: thilltherap...
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 45

  • @TherapistTamaraHill
    @TherapistTamaraHill  5 місяців тому +3

    If you missed my last LIVE CHAT of 2023 on Escaping Hurtful Family, see it here: ua-cam.com/users/livebZcIenMkLkk?si=ZNpAfCKJgI_BhKdh

    • @TravelerSanna
      @TravelerSanna 5 місяців тому +2

      I have been meditating in various forms some cited by Therapist Tamara for close to a decade. It was the road less traveled and has helped with making many of my goals and passions come to life. It works. ❤❤

    • @UnderTheSameSun693
      @UnderTheSameSun693 5 місяців тому +1

      Thank you.

  • @Gesuselsaviour
    @Gesuselsaviour 5 місяців тому +27

    Existential loneliness is what I've been experiencing the most. I've recently accepted Christ as my saviour and this has helped me navigate this void in my life. I pray that we all can find peace someday.

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  5 місяців тому +5

      This is a beautiful comment! Thank you for sharing this. May God bless you!

  • @jayj4439
    @jayj4439 5 місяців тому +11

    Once you come to the conclusion that other peoples thoughts/ feelings about you don't have to determine how you view yourself, life becomes so much easier.

  • @tinydanceryoutube
    @tinydanceryoutube 5 місяців тому +7

    Wow. I needed this. I feel like a five yr old in my 63 yr old body most days.
    Always felt like I didn't belong and was unlovable. 😢

  • @rubycubez1103
    @rubycubez1103 5 місяців тому +13

    Ive always preferred to do things alone. Since childhood, I found the average person to be mentally draining. Theres always a problem they're having or someone projects the cracks of their ego onto me. I tend to meet ppl who trauma dump within our first convo yet ppl dont even know my fav color. I feel ppl are conditioned to have that survival of the fittest mindset, what can I take from you even if Im not aware it mindset.
    Within friendships, I found whatever you tell another woman, she will always tell someone else even if theres no ill intent. Dont like that. With men, I found men only befriend women they find conventionally attractive. Even if you have a lot in common, they dont want to risk you misinterpreting their friendliness. This is solely my experience. Im sure others will disagree. Interestingly, I find women do something similar when it comes to looks. Its either you make them look aesthetically better as a group or they can build up their self esteem by being beside some whose less attractive and know ppl will flock to her because Im the uglier out the 2. Its very sickening but its my reality.
    I realize Im the most relaxed and myself alone. If I want to be around others, I go outside to busy places. The act of just being around ppl fills that space. Once my body/ mind battery goes below 40%, I go in the house.

    • @alexandra2536
      @alexandra2536 4 місяці тому +1

      The same here 😇

    • @rayveti
      @rayveti 2 місяці тому

      💜❤️💛🧡🩷🩵💙

  • @TheCoffeeCat
    @TheCoffeeCat 5 місяців тому +11

    It's a pervasive loneliness even around friends. A disconnection that comes from the core of oneself. Connection to others is impossible, because there is a primordial disconnection to one's own inner emotional world. Lots of depersonalization too, a feeling like one is in another reality, controlling this body (avatar) within this reality which feels distant.

    • @imaginepeace7588
      @imaginepeace7588 4 місяці тому

      Well said. I feel this 💯. It’s literally killing me ❤️‍🩹☮️

    • @dark7angel456
      @dark7angel456 Місяць тому

      Do you feel like I do?
      Unbearable emotionally pain around others and the need to fight flight fawn or breakdown.
      I always feel like unending dissassociation from the world

  • @trinity5842
    @trinity5842 5 місяців тому +1

    Mindfulness meditation 😂 I also once upon a time had the same thought about the breathing all day comment 😂 Thank you for creating these videos as someone who moved away from that dysfunctional family of almost 8 years now! This comment is for those who feel heavy, stuck, hurt and desperate. If your in it still breathe, go for a walk journal if you are able to and if not check in with yourself see the reality around you and know that you wont be there forever it's like a boring bus trip with loud noises. Grey rock has helped me in so many areas of life!
    Visualise what you do want, you want to move? Go abroad? Keep thinking about that and feel how it will feel when you are at your destination already.
    I did this and I'm living proof that sometimes life gives you the storm or the wave and you've got to go through it. Like a diamond is created with intense heat and deep pressure so will you also become like a diamond after cooling down getting out and most of all give yourself some grace. When you do eventually get away or decide to leave you might feel rough or a range of things and that's because you've survived something traumatic and dysfunctional and give yourself time to heal and adjust.
    Most importantly don't give up on who you are who you are meant to be and healing and learning takes time. Blessings to each and everyone of you.

  • @chilloften
    @chilloften 4 місяці тому +1

    This can be kind of hard.
    Being social is kind of risky to me. People may ask to many questions, or ask something that makes me cry. Or just seeing others together yet I’m alone feels more lonely than being alone.
    I’m definitely misinterpreted a lot, say at work, just by me trying to avoid any closeness out of fear. Also I’m held to these extreme high standards and knowledge base & don’t feel adequate, in all honesty.
    It’s a horrid struggle.
    Thank you for addressing such topics.

  • @KoolT
    @KoolT 5 місяців тому +3

    I grew up in fighting and chaos 😢

  • @kanemarco1145
    @kanemarco1145 5 місяців тому +4

    Thanks a bunch Mrs Tam. I've been in the process of reinventing myself and it is so hard to keep people away from me that try to keep me stagnant. I'm in the isolation for elevation state aka Monk Mode. All i need is a hoodie with giant letters saying No Thank You ✋😑

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  5 місяців тому +2

      You're welcome!🤗
      It's a tough battle indeed. I've been there both personally and professionally. Keep going! Once you reach that place you know you should be, you will thank yourself and God for that freedom!

  • @viajanteminimalista2787
    @viajanteminimalista2787 5 місяців тому +3

    Dear Dr. Támara,
    I hope this message finds you well.
    I wanted to thank you for sharing your insightful video. It has been very helpful to me.
    I also wanted to share my thoughts with you about missing my family. While I understand the importance of family, I have come to the realization that my toxic relationship with them has been detrimental to my well-being. Despite their lack of support during important events in my life, such as my wedding and brain surgery, I have decided to remove myself from their negative influence. It was a difficult decision, but I never felt loved or prioritized in their lives.
    Thank you again for creating valuable content like this. I look forward to learning more from you.

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  5 місяців тому +1

      Thank you so much! And you're welcome!
      I'm glad to ear this video is helpful to you. That's the reason I continue to make them, so it makes me happy to hear this.
      Sounds like you have decided to step back and withdraw becasue of feelings of abandonment and a lack of them being present during times you felt you needed them most. This is a typical turning point for most people, sadly.

  • @zionrose007
    @zionrose007 5 місяців тому +3

    Have a blessed, abundant, and fulfilling New Year🎉

  • @dougbenton8767
    @dougbenton8767 5 місяців тому

    According to this experiment, everything’s my fault I’m the problem I exist. Therefore, everything is my fault. I’m never gonna shake the stigma.

  • @DeborahOlander
    @DeborahOlander 5 місяців тому +1

    I live in the double-jeopardy space. Definitely unresolved trauma.

  • @dark7angel456
    @dark7angel456 Місяць тому

    Yes i feel unending lonliness emotional pain and anger and depression, anxiety and hate, sadness and nervous tension.
    Feel unloved everyday
    Horrible i just want to feel good again.

  • @puddlesplasher7
    @puddlesplasher7 5 місяців тому +2

    Oh nooo, i was trying to catch it live!! Watching now!! Thanks for making this content

  • @ExquisiteKinkyCoils
    @ExquisiteKinkyCoils 5 місяців тому +2

    ❤❤❤Támara, thank you for the very beneficial advice. The advice given in the video is excellent and helpful as usual.

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  5 місяців тому +1

      You're so welcome!🤗 And thank you. Looking forward to coming back.

  • @libertycan6959
    @libertycan6959 5 місяців тому +2

    Thank you for the video

  • @EmpressEmpress-53
    @EmpressEmpress-53 5 місяців тому +2

    Thank you for this message 🙏💞💪

  • @AdamantlyAdams
    @AdamantlyAdams 5 місяців тому +1

    This was awesome Tamara. ❤

  • @greyzworld
    @greyzworld 5 місяців тому +1

    I really appreciate this video. Thank you

  • @KoolT
    @KoolT 5 місяців тому +1

    EXCELLENT lecture ❤

  • @dark7angel456
    @dark7angel456 Місяць тому

    I dont have any intense connection with anyone.
    I have a hard time getting along with anyone

  • @NezterBedford
    @NezterBedford 5 місяців тому +1

    A very beautiful woman, sharing to examine a very serious issue. Our domestic environment definitely affects our social environment. We should all strive to have better relationship with God. It's the first and greatest basic advice for commandment Jesus gave us. Wish we all could feel how Jesus felt of that.

  • @Princess-mp8ep
    @Princess-mp8ep 5 місяців тому +2

    I keep missing the LIVESTREAM 🤦🏽‍♀️ lol

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  5 місяців тому +3

      🤗 hopefully you are getting alerts! Some on this channel told me they werent.
      Hope you have a peaceful holiday!

  • @adayinthelight7575
    @adayinthelight7575 5 місяців тому

    Can you please do a video on how to create love within yourself? I know for me I’ve tried friends, church, etc., but I have not been successful.

  • @KoolT
    @KoolT 5 місяців тому

    Ending important