I totally agree. She messed up on many things: taking him to the family gathering, not stopping the family, and last not giving him that minute in private her asked her for. How else was he supposed to tell her if she forced him to say it in front of everyone? She didn't know him, she didn't know how he was feeling or how he reacts, the least she could have done was to give him that moment of privacy
I wonder how people would interpret this if a man brought a woman to a family gathering on a first date where his family was grilling her and asking what her intentions were, then after asking to speak with her date alone was pressured to answer father's questions in front of 40 people she doesnt know. This is not ok on any level. She didn't get consent from him to meet the family and when he asked for a moment alone completely ignored it. These are major red flags and a sign of what to expect if there was a relationship.
That could never happen because a man's virginity is not valued as a commodity like a woman's is. All of this weird talk(from the father especially)basically comes from the standpoint that fathers used to hand over their daughters to their husbands to then have their husbands control those daughters. Nobody asks what a woman's intentions are with a man because the woman is not seen as owning the man like property. When a woman married man she used to be seen as his sexual property.
@intuitive_duck what are you talking about? So far everyone is saying red flag and to run away from her. The only ones saying is not a big deal is just these 3 guys in ok op
I feel like there was a lack of empathy for OP; like he was put in an nonconsensual situation where he was completely blindsided with 20-30 people he didn't know (and she did), was grilled from every direction, and then pressured into one uncomfortable situation to another with each of her family members. His reaction was big, but justified--he didn't know any of them and they were basically just laughing at him.
I felt SO uncomfortable during the whole story. I have severe social anxiety and this would be a NIGHTMARE for me! Honestly, I would have snapped way sooner, just left, or had a severe panic attack during the interrogating. So freaking weird and downright selfish of the date to throw a first date into that situation and do NOTHING to help him out. She didn't get her family to back off, encouraged the questions, and didn't give him a moment of privacy from 40 strangers and forced him to answer. OP is completely justified, though MAY have been a bit harsh in the moment.
@@Trash_Panda63 right. i also have social phobia, and honestly i don't think she could have gotten me to move past the door once i saw the family party. let alone, i know i would have either frozen or vomited during all that interrogation. shaking, sweating, nausea, brain fog, stammering, just... ugh. HOWEVER, i still think him railing her out outside was too much. i applauded him being frank inside when she wouldn't give him the private audience, but screaming at her outside was too much. you made your point; vacate. but i'm glad they both had the opportunity to apologize...
he’s not wrong that is a HUGE red flag to do to someone. your intention doesn’t matter it’s abt how it was received and PERcieved and this is just nuts. he TRIED pulling her to the side for a convo and they ALL said no including the date. are they gonna be involved in ALL arguments if they got into a relationship.
Honestly, I’m absolutely right there with op. He was robbed of getting to know this girl. The fact that she did that to him on a first date was rude and invasive. I wouldn’t be interested at all with even continuing anything with her. That would be a done deal for me.
Honestly she f*cked up by trapping you into meeting her family. She had this planned for a while. She planned all of it out before even having a first date. Its a huge red flag. Op in my opinion reacted in the best way he could. Imagine someone doing this to you, me personally i have some social issues so if a guy did this to me i would probably react the same way. It was a trap. Now i do believe in a situation like this an apology for berating her even more outside was unnecessary. And an explanation of why doing this in the future to other guys would not be a good idea.
The first story, OP got broad sided. She should have asked him before had if he felt comfortable with meeting literally the entire family. Was he a little mean about it? Yes, call and apologize. However, no second date. There's no coming back from that. He tried to back out and talk to her but the entire family kept taking it too far. I wouldn't say anyone here was a jerk, just a very awkward situation that went too far. God bless that girls Mom. She's a rock star.
Her mom is an absolute rock star. She's the ideal MIL for sure. But they could also potentially use this experience as a lesson on boundaries for any future relationship.
@@Human-kb6xcRight! Even if it was the first month of dating the 3rd degree from dozens of people would be terrifying. Chasing away anybody she tries to date… unless if that was the whole point?
11:48 I think what he's saying is 100% warranted. Like wtf did they expect was going to happen after pushing that hard? It stopped being a joke and feels more like she's seeing how much he'll let his boundaries be stomped and disrespected. *edit* ok, i think he did go to far once he kept going even after she was crying.
Coming from someone with social anxiety….its quite common to “freak out” like this. Given he was not walking into it knowingly. Anti social: dealing with people drains the battery. Social people: being around people charges the battery. So yeah. 40 people? Kinda terrifying.
There's no way that OP is in the wrong. His date brought him into that situation, did nothing to help him out of it, and with all that pressure that her family is causing...she's lucky that his reaction wasn't worse. In all honesty though, I would have just left the place without a single word.
The way John went into Lamaze breathing when OP said he proposed 😂 Edit: this is a post that, while entertaining, is an example of why you shouldn't take comments from random strangers on Reddit to heart. He genuinely likes the girl and feels something with her. They've basically taken several steps back and seem to be starting with a clean slate. They seem to be forming a friendship now, which is good for them. I feel like the girlfriend may have gotten overexcited and maybe even felt bad because she was missing her aunt's birthday dinner, so she figured she'd try and do both. It was obviously a plan she didn't think through, but I doubt she had bad intentions. OP was basically blindsided with this birthday party and was continuously being hounded by the girl's family. Then, when he wanted to speak to her in private, the family basically wouldn't let him. I think if she had just gotten up and walked away with him then, the blow up wouldn't have happened.
Yo, my grandmother pushed hard to get this guy I was just dating for a month to thanksgiving. We're still together 4 years later. Lmao , sometimes it's meant to be hahaha
@@servanaaranda the way he was talking in the end, I honestly think it is! haha I mean if they can make it through that and recover, then they can probably make it through anything.
I totally agree and basically just posted the same thing. Redditors always read way too much into things. They immediately clicked and she made an impulsive decision. The simplest explanation is usually the correct one. He definitely overreacted too imo.
OP was definitely in the right and reacted as any sane normal person would. I was anxious and freaking out just hearing about it. Sometimes your opinions are really weird, like how is he overreacting and should apologise? His reaction was predictable and warranted.
Right!? Like this if the FIRST date and 40 people have been hounding him all night. And then before the actual could had a chance to even talk about what their relationship is like he HAS to announce ' his intentions ' to the whole family because it's family business and they have no secrets. He asked twice to just have a moment...but no.. This wasn't an overreaction, this was a reason to an unreasonable situation. MAYBE the conversation after stepping outside was a bit much but he Clearly was very upset she disregarded his feelings and put him in this situation. I dislike how these are are trying to come off as 'cool' by saying this situation is no big deal and they'd just brush it of and joke back...this was a first date...
@@LA-mz1dd I agree, but I would like to add that I am certain that the comments saying they would just joke back are bullshit and I’m certain that’s not how they would actually react
"Sometimes your opinions are really weird" I feel the same.They have a very benevolent view toward certain things, to a questionable point. I wouldn't want to be stuck in a toxic family dynamic with them, because they sounds like guys who would judge you for disturbing the status quo.
The fact that anyone would like me is enough for me; drinking out of a straw shouldn't even be a ich. I wasn't trying to talk myself down, but I think I got my point across. 😂
First story, I am impressed with OP being very clear about what he is feeling in front of everyone. Yes, some people would joke and not be phased by it. But I don't think he did anything wrong. Perhaps the second reeming to the date one on one, is on the edge of too far. But seems like it unfolded well, both apologizing after, and the yoga classes.
I’m for „OP fam” ❤ Straw is NOT an ick imo! I’ve very sensitive teeth and drinking through a straw saves me. Unless it’s just a plain water, then please drink it straight from glass/bottle. 😂
Amazing episode, guys. Sam's laugh is hilarious. Guys I dated do not use a straw. My 25 yo son uses a straw because he was in a car wreck that busted out all his front teeth. He has caps now. He told me no one is worth sharp electric pain in his mouth.
Thinking that "using a straw is emasculating" is the real ick, and an instant red flag shut down 🚩🚩🚩 girls he's too immature & insecure put him back in the sea 😂
So I have a potty training story. Sort of…… so, when my oldest daughter was born a really good male friend of mine said “she’s beautiful! What are you going to do when she’s older?” I said “I’m not worried about it. “ he asked why? My reply was “ I’m not going to potty train her. If she shits in some guys car and he comes back for another date then he’s perfect!” We both laughed. I did potty train her though and she’s beautiful if I do say so myself. Love the show!
Boys boys boys. Youve got this one wrong i think. Op didnt overreact.. he just ran over the walking red flag HARD!!! its all lovely and sweet until meeting the family trapping becomes baby trapping becomes marriage trapping and so on. Op reacted the way he did not to be an ass... but because this was an absolute invasion. The date was wild af but not in a good way... more like a... 'im scared what she will do next'. Good on op for setting the boundaries hard and fast.. more people should learn from him
14:16 nah, overreaction? OP shouldn't feel bad for anything? they literally asked him!!! honestly he said nothing out of line and he was right, the family does seem like they'd probably be overstepping boundaries the whole relationship. hopefully they reflected on this and stop hazing any future dates. OP literally had a normal reaction and did more than most- most would probably tough out the night and ghost after- he was bold enough to at least confront the issue... it was their choice to not give him privacy and they asked several times for him to be honest 🤷
Honestly, it felt like she took him there just to cover with her family because maybe they've been bugging her to bring a guy around but she didn't clue him in on it. But honestly I would have freaked out too. That is just way too much all of a sudden for any first date. At least it is too much without any warning.
I get a feeling that op's date has been telling her family members she has a BF but never showed them who he was. So she then grabbed op to have him be the BF she was hiding.
My family is so big that 40 people is a casual get together for us. We don’t need it to be a holiday or a birthday or anything, just a random last minute “hey we’re gonna go do a cookout at so-and-so’s house!” We are well aware you do not introduce someone to that many relatives at the same time too early let alone first date. And did I forget to mention 99% of us have autism or adhd or both and we are still socially aware enough to know this.
I don't blame OP. I would have personally left as soon as I saw the family. That was intentional, and I'm not about to be blind sided by people I don't know. Especially if I am merely an acquaintance of the date.
I can't believe no one said she joined the class to worm a second chance with OP, not because of stress. She made it clear she doesn't respect boundaries. I would never EVER give another chance to someone who would do this.
Op was spot on. This is not something that should be done on a first date without having explained anything to op at all. No warning whatsoever, just bombarded with overbearing people hammering him with questions to which he yet had no answers. That's insane even for the days when people married quickly and only dated people they planned on marrying. ..like back in the Middle Ages *That family needed to hear the truth. Their antics are offputting and likely run off a lot of people who would've been perfect additions to their family. **offputting might be too light a term for this nonsense.
9:23 Oh bravo, OP! I think that needed to be said! I was afraid you might say something insulting, but that was only fair assesment of the situation and you'd be forever stuck being the doormat if you hadn't defended your feelings. And to be honest the normalcy! This family is insane if they think nothing is private! First many dates are!!
All I gotta say is that everyone's a general after the war in regard to the first story. OP wasn't overreacting, the family did need to hear it because it sounded like an echo chamber of pressure being stuck with these people you hardly know and having your boundaries stomped to mush all night.
Right!? I love all the people who said ' he was overreacting because I would have been fine with that situation'. Maybe that is true for them, but just because they would doesn't mean all people can or should roll with it. He asked for a moment by them selves and she ignored that. The second time he asked should have been the clue that this was too much.
@@LA-mz1dd This and it doesn't help that op gave her part of his schedule (yoga) and seems to almost be leading her on by not giving her a hard shut down. It sounds like she could use that to stalk him if he rejects her. And while she may not seem like the type, it's hard to say she won't seeing how she apparently hasn't decided to move on after their talk. It makes me worried for when or if op dates someone else. Plus, if you flip the genders, this would not sound great on the date's part the whole way through. Over all, this situation is a big red flag that gets more red with every update.
oh my god, if someone did this to me, I would run for the hills. Doesn't matter how great they seem to be, the lack of respect towards me, my boundaries, coupled with my social anxiety and the psychological pressure from being put in this ridiculous situation. This would be a nightmare to me. So no, no matter how great of a person I'm missing out on, I would NOT go back and date someone who did this to me on A FIRST DATE. edit: wtf us the last comment talking about? It is a huge deal! She put a guy she barely knew in this awful situation, with total disregard about his feelings, wants or needs, and let him be harassed by her family 'till he was brought to a panic attack. It's not that this commentor is "more social and out there", he just completely lacks empathy.
I think there’s a massive point missed with OP being ambushed on his first date. She had ample opportunity to give him a heads up on the way to meet the family. She knew where they were going - she knew her family and how they were, why wouldn’t she give him the heads up and set the stage for him to be able to face that environment? She dumped him in the deep end and then everyone is blaming him for blowing up - even after the family repeatedly told him to be honest with his feelings. I don’t think OP did anything wrong in that situation and I commend him for even sticking it out as long as he did in that situation.
Regarding apologies: do it by phone, email, text, whatever, and if that person is into seeing you, apologize in person. Make it count though, cuz once you get the opportunity to fully apologize in person - if you do get that chance - then that’s it, you’re done. No need to apologize over and over. Just don’t make the same mistake twice. How they react to your apology is important, too. If he or she just wants to bring up your transgression over and over, that is a transgression in itself. Maybe you’re learning you want a more positive partner.
At the pit stop…. I feel like up til now OP really hasn’t said anything out of line, given that everyone in the room advised him to speak exactly what was on his mind. Everything he’s said up til now has been entirely reasonable, and has not dipped into the edge of insult.
I was almost understanding with the girl’s side on first date story, because I’ve got a big extended family that I’m very close to and have introduced SO to them pretty early in the relationship. BUT, when I found out she only sees those family members once a year I changed my mind. My family members are a constant part of my life. I could NEVER imagine bringing a first date to meet family members I only see every so often. And honestly even the ones I do see constantly I realize it still can be a huge step for the person I’m seeing so I always make sure they feel ready to meet them beforehand. He’s a jerk for continuing after they were alone and she was crying, but she also is a AH for putting him in a high pressure situation with absolutely NO warning.
They didn’t live in the same state I understand your perspective but it can be hard to set aside time, multiple times a year, to visit people Especially if they aren’t well off
Oh my god … this woman and her family disrespected his boundaries and it’s absolutely unfair they did this to him. Her family sounds controlling and getting into her dating business this early on was SO inappropriate. I’d be so upset if I got dropped into this situation without any notice and feel completely disrespected…. RED FLAG without a doubt. Her family would dominate that entire relationship.
💯 agree OP should do a second date! If there is that much of a spark its worth looking into! At the very least they could end up with a great friendship, at the most he could wind up finding his super whacky forever person! Either way they have now built a friendship and thats a fantastic place to start(again)! Oh also dont let people you dont know dictate how you react to what you feel or how you live your life! GO FOR IT OP!😂😊
I will not take this cow slander. Cows are incredibly intelligent animals and have very complex personalities and friendships. Do not compare this crazy smooth brained mommas boy to those poor grass puppies
OP was fully within his right to be as blunt as he was because of how she reacted to him when he asked her for a private moment to speak. This was a serious red flag.
I’m pretty open minded but the family reunion first date story is NUTS. She should’ve been clear what her intentions are and if he’s okay with it. You just don’t spring that on someone. It gives me the same vibes as the guy who convinced his friend that she’s dating him & she’s crazy for not noticing it. Later on you find out he’s very controlling & bad person.
WOW! 😳 I got "Get Out" and "Crazy Cult" vibes from this story...I would have been scared that they were not going to let me leave. After THREE hrs of this interaction, I'd have freaked out too. AND, if you're having a panic attack (which this family caused), you do not respond/act "rationally"; you feel like you are dying, drowning, losing it and go into survival mode...so, no judgement (IMO) on how OP reacted (after over 3 hrs of interrogation??😳). I'm a firm believer in, "don't ask, if you really don't want to know my (true) answer." They showed no respect for OP, who tried to decline answering multiple times, so his repsonse was justified (IMO).
It’s one thing to to be spontaneous and ASK a date to go to a family function or whatever to “check the vibes”, another to just take them. Also, it’s 40 people, not 4. Furthermore, I don’t see the point of bringing him. Like what was the goal? Make him like the family?
No this roast on John was actually the funniest 😂 No one is judging you J man!! Here for the roasts. Sam you deffs suit black! I almost feel like I’ve never seen you in it before
The first story. OP is a king! Good job for calling them all out. That’s not an overreaction and I’m glad he was straight with them. And seriously? Dream girl guys? She may be physically his type but mentally she’s a walking red flag.
Op is definitely in the right to freak out at this point.
Yeah who brings a first d8 to a family party? Red flag
I totally agree. She messed up on many things: taking him to the family gathering, not stopping the family, and last not giving him that minute in private her asked her for. How else was he supposed to tell her if she forced him to say it in front of everyone? She didn't know him, she didn't know how he was feeling or how he reacts, the least she could have done was to give him that moment of privacy
Agreed! He’s not wrong!!!!! Who the hell would think this a good idea especially when he asked for a minute alone that did it for me!
I wonder how people would interpret this if a man brought a woman to a family gathering on a first date where his family was grilling her and asking what her intentions were, then after asking to speak with her date alone was pressured to answer father's questions in front of 40 people she doesnt know. This is not ok on any level. She didn't get consent from him to meet the family and when he asked for a moment alone completely ignored it. These are major red flags and a sign of what to expect if there was a relationship.
I don't think it matters which sex/gender someone is in this situation. It's horrible in any case, imo.
I think if the genders were reversed people would react more appropriately/strongly with, “that’s freaking WEIRD. Red flag!”
That could never happen because a man's virginity is not valued as a commodity like a woman's is. All of this weird talk(from the father especially)basically comes from the standpoint that fathers used to hand over their daughters to their husbands to then have their husbands control those daughters. Nobody asks what a woman's intentions are with a man because the woman is not seen as owning the man like property. When a woman married man she used to be seen as his sexual property.
@intuitive_duck what are you talking about? So far everyone is saying red flag and to run away from her. The only ones saying is not a big deal is just these 3 guys in ok op
Don't bring gender into this. It's just an awful move no matter what
OP was absolutely right with what he said. She could tell that he needed to talk privately but pushed him.
She sounded desperate 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
I feel like there was a lack of empathy for OP; like he was put in an nonconsensual situation where he was completely blindsided with 20-30 people he didn't know (and she did), was grilled from every direction, and then pressured into one uncomfortable situation to another with each of her family members. His reaction was big, but justified--he didn't know any of them and they were basically just laughing at him.
Right. Laughing & judging before anything meaningful started. I totally understand wishing that was the 30th date like OP said.
Grilling is a good word for it. It was a family dinner and he was the buffet.
I felt SO uncomfortable during the whole story. I have severe social anxiety and this would be a NIGHTMARE for me! Honestly, I would have snapped way sooner, just left, or had a severe panic attack during the interrogating. So freaking weird and downright selfish of the date to throw a first date into that situation and do NOTHING to help him out. She didn't get her family to back off, encouraged the questions, and didn't give him a moment of privacy from 40 strangers and forced him to answer. OP is completely justified, though MAY have been a bit harsh in the moment.
@@Trash_Panda63 right. i also have social phobia, and honestly i don't think she could have gotten me to move past the door once i saw the family party. let alone, i know i would have either frozen or vomited during all that interrogation. shaking, sweating, nausea, brain fog, stammering, just... ugh. HOWEVER, i still think him railing her out outside was too much. i applauded him being frank inside when she wouldn't give him the private audience, but screaming at her outside was too much. you made your point; vacate. but i'm glad they both had the opportunity to apologize...
he’s not wrong that is a HUGE red flag to do to someone. your intention doesn’t matter it’s abt how it was received and PERcieved and this is just nuts. he TRIED pulling her to the side for a convo and they ALL said no including the date. are they gonna be involved in ALL arguments if they got into a relationship.
They asked for it 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
She humiliated herself
My heart started pounding after hearing the story. The way everyone in the family started interrogating him made me feel anxious.
Honestly, I’m absolutely right there with op. He was robbed of getting to know this girl. The fact that she did that to him on a first date was rude and invasive. I wouldn’t be interested at all with even continuing anything with her. That would be a done deal for me.
Honestly she f*cked up by trapping you into meeting her family. She had this planned for a while. She planned all of it out before even having a first date. Its a huge red flag. Op in my opinion reacted in the best way he could. Imagine someone doing this to you, me personally i have some social issues so if a guy did this to me i would probably react the same way. It was a trap. Now i do believe in a situation like this an apology for berating her even more outside was unnecessary. And an explanation of why doing this in the future to other guys would not be a good idea.
And any female who does stuff like this are usually the type to poke holes in the condom.
The first story, OP got broad sided. She should have asked him before had if he felt comfortable with meeting literally the entire family. Was he a little mean about it? Yes, call and apologize. However, no second date. There's no coming back from that. He tried to back out and talk to her but the entire family kept taking it too far. I wouldn't say anyone here was a jerk, just a very awkward situation that went too far.
God bless that girls Mom. She's a rock star.
Her mom is an absolute rock star. She's the ideal MIL for sure. But they could also potentially use this experience as a lesson on boundaries for any future relationship.
@@Human-kb6xcRight! Even if it was the first month of dating the 3rd degree from dozens of people would be terrifying. Chasing away anybody she tries to date… unless if that was the whole point?
11:48 I think what he's saying is 100% warranted. Like wtf did they expect was going to happen after pushing that hard? It stopped being a joke and feels more like she's seeing how much he'll let his boundaries be stomped and disrespected.
*edit* ok, i think he did go to far once he kept going even after she was crying.
Coming from someone with social anxiety….its quite common to “freak out” like this. Given he was not walking into it knowingly.
Anti social: dealing with people drains the battery.
Social people: being around people charges the battery.
So yeah. 40 people?
Kinda terrifying.
There's no way that OP is in the wrong. His date brought him into that situation, did nothing to help him out of it, and with all that pressure that her family is causing...she's lucky that his reaction wasn't worse. In all honesty though, I would have just left the place without a single word.
Idk why but Riley being so close to John and Sam feels like a glitch in the matrix
Riley’s mischievous little giggle made my day
The way John went into Lamaze breathing when OP said he proposed 😂
Edit: this is a post that, while entertaining, is an example of why you shouldn't take comments from random strangers on Reddit to heart. He genuinely likes the girl and feels something with her. They've basically taken several steps back and seem to be starting with a clean slate. They seem to be forming a friendship now, which is good for them.
I feel like the girlfriend may have gotten overexcited and maybe even felt bad because she was missing her aunt's birthday dinner, so she figured she'd try and do both. It was obviously a plan she didn't think through, but I doubt she had bad intentions. OP was basically blindsided with this birthday party and was continuously being hounded by the girl's family. Then, when he wanted to speak to her in private, the family basically wouldn't let him. I think if she had just gotten up and walked away with him then, the blow up wouldn't have happened.
Yo, my grandmother pushed hard to get this guy I was just dating for a month to thanksgiving. We're still together 4 years later. Lmao , sometimes it's meant to be hahaha
@@servanaaranda the way he was talking in the end, I honestly think it is! haha I mean if they can make it through that and recover, then they can probably make it through anything.
@@Human-kb6xc hahaha, right?
They can use this as a learning moment to grow as people.
We are all villains at one point but we can be heroes tomorrow.
I totally agree and basically just posted the same thing.
Redditors always read way too much into things. They immediately clicked and she made an impulsive decision. The simplest explanation is usually the correct one.
He definitely overreacted too imo.
Yeah, the way he started breathing, I thought John looked like he was about to spontaneously push out a baby.
We love J Man ❤️
Edit to add: Straws are perfectly fine. Use them to your hearts content, Riley.
OP was definitely in the right and reacted as any sane normal person would. I was anxious and freaking out just hearing about it. Sometimes your opinions are really weird, like how is he overreacting and should apologise? His reaction was predictable and warranted.
My heart rate skyrocketed hearing this story. I’m a heavy introvert, so I completely understand OP’s position
He doesn't have to apologise, because he wasn't in the wrong. And as as the family said, be honest, and he was honest about it.
Right!? Like this if the FIRST date and 40 people have been hounding him all night. And then before the actual could had a chance to even talk about what their relationship is like he HAS to announce ' his intentions ' to the whole family because it's family business and they have no secrets. He asked twice to just have a moment...but no..
This wasn't an overreaction, this was a reason to an unreasonable situation. MAYBE the conversation after stepping outside was a bit much but he Clearly was very upset she disregarded his feelings and put him in this situation.
I dislike how these are are trying to come off as 'cool' by saying this situation is no big deal and they'd just brush it of and joke back...this was a first date...
@@LA-mz1dd I agree, but I would like to add that I am certain that the comments saying they would just joke back are bullshit and I’m certain that’s not how they would actually react
"Sometimes your opinions are really weird" I feel the same.They have a very benevolent view toward certain things, to a questionable point. I wouldn't want to be stuck in a toxic family dynamic with them, because they sounds like guys who would judge you for disturbing the status quo.
Sam's face at 17:37-18:00 😂😂 priceless
The fact that anyone would like me is enough for me; drinking out of a straw shouldn't even be a ich. I wasn't trying to talk myself down, but I think I got my point across. 😂
John struggling through "hakuna" is killing me 🤣
First story, I am impressed with OP being very clear about what he is feeling in front of everyone. Yes, some people would joke and not be phased by it. But I don't think he did anything wrong. Perhaps the second reeming to the date one on one, is on the edge of too far. But seems like it unfolded well, both apologizing after, and the yoga classes.
He had nothing to apologize for. He spoke his mine and she asked the truth. This was all acceptable.
This has been my favorite okop episode to date 😂
I’m for „OP fam” ❤
Straw is NOT an ick imo! I’ve very sensitive teeth and drinking through a straw saves me. Unless it’s just a plain water, then please drink it straight from glass/bottle. 😂
First story: that was a lot and I felt trapped just listening
I have never heard of a straw being an ick. That seems like a weird thing to be critical about.
“OK Fam”is the better choice 😂😅
Firsy story. I think OP is perfectly justified to say those things.
Watching them all laughing teasing John, absolutely love it. Their happiness makes me happy!
In the first story, Sam literally froze, almost like a glitch in the matrix. Lol
Dam Sam’s style is rocking in this video. Wait all of you look great! Keep it up boyyyys
As someone with social anxiety, this would be my worst nightmare.
Guys the episode was so funny. Thanks for the laughs 😂 I really needed that. ❤
Amazing episode, guys. Sam's laugh is hilarious. Guys I dated do not use a straw. My 25 yo son uses a straw because he was in a car wreck that busted out all his front teeth. He has caps now. He told me no one is worth sharp electric pain in his mouth.
Dying laughing over the jon-lore
J-man
"Paint yourself blue and jump into the sea" 🤣 I bet the op in the last story is greek 😄
Thinking that "using a straw is emasculating" is the real ick, and an instant red flag shut down 🚩🚩🚩 girls he's too immature & insecure put him back in the sea 😂
So I have a potty training story. Sort of…… so, when my oldest daughter was born a really good male friend of mine said “she’s beautiful! What are you going to do when she’s older?” I said “I’m not worried about it. “ he asked why? My reply was “ I’m not going to potty train her. If she shits in some guys car and he comes back for another date then he’s perfect!” We both laughed. I did potty train her though and she’s beautiful if I do say so myself. Love the show!
Boys boys boys. Youve got this one wrong i think. Op didnt overreact.. he just ran over the walking red flag HARD!!! its all lovely and sweet until meeting the family trapping becomes baby trapping becomes marriage trapping and so on. Op reacted the way he did not to be an ass... but because this was an absolute invasion. The date was wild af but not in a good way... more like a... 'im scared what she will do next'.
Good on op for setting the boundaries hard and fast.. more people should learn from him
I think we should be the OKOPeeps
No apology needed from OP.
14:16 nah, overreaction? OP shouldn't feel bad for anything? they literally asked him!!! honestly he said nothing out of line and he was right, the family does seem like they'd probably be overstepping boundaries the whole relationship. hopefully they reflected on this and stop hazing any future dates. OP literally had a normal reaction and did more than most- most would probably tough out the night and ghost after- he was bold enough to at least confront the issue... it was their choice to not give him privacy and they asked several times for him to be honest 🤷
Honestly, it felt like she took him there just to cover with her family because maybe they've been bugging her to bring a guy around but she didn't clue him in on it.
But honestly I would have freaked out too. That is just way too much all of a sudden for any first date. At least it is too much without any warning.
She has a six flags season pass 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
I get a feeling that op's date has been telling her family members she has a BF but never showed them who he was. So she then grabbed op to have him be the BF she was hiding.
We should be called the OKOPeeps
I am dying Laughing 🤣 and saaaam! 😂 he's literally rubbing his face bc he laughed so hard! With his whole body 😂😂😂
My family is so big that 40 people is a casual get together for us. We don’t need it to be a holiday or a birthday or anything, just a random last minute “hey we’re gonna go do a cookout at so-and-so’s house!”
We are well aware you do not introduce someone to that many relatives at the same time too early let alone first date.
And did I forget to mention 99% of us have autism or adhd or both and we are still socially aware enough to know this.
I don't blame OP. I would have personally left as soon as I saw the family. That was intentional, and I'm not about to be blind sided by people I don't know. Especially if I am merely an acquaintance of the date.
I can't believe no one said she joined the class to worm a second chance with OP, not because of stress. She made it clear she doesn't respect boundaries.
I would never EVER give another chance to someone who would do this.
Yeah with stories like this I like to reverse the gender and how people would of reacted if op was a woman
Op invited her to join the class wtf do you mean
@@emilyjohn2034but not asking for second date so soon while he already said no second date for now.
@@mayaparamita2254 I’m just saying that it’s not crossing boundaries to go to the yoga
@@halfshinesketchesthis. If it was the other way around he would be looked at as creepy and thought of to be a stalker since she said no second date.
As a complete introvert who would have had anxiety about being on a date to begin with I would have nope’d out and not even entered that building 😂
disappear slowly out of the building 😅
Okgang is JUST FINE 😂😂😂 I don’t think teabags is quite fitting but what do I know 😅❤️ love y’all
Love the way John says ‘oh god’ makes me crack up
Just came here to say y'all better not call us tea bags 😂
Op was spot on. This is not something that should be done on a first date without having explained anything to op at all. No warning whatsoever, just bombarded with overbearing people hammering him with questions to which he yet had no answers. That's insane even for the days when people married quickly and only dated people they planned on marrying. ..like back in the Middle Ages
*That family needed to hear the truth. Their antics are offputting and likely run off a lot of people who would've been perfect additions to their family.
**offputting might be too light a term for this nonsense.
John had me in tears this time. John you are great😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
9:23 Oh bravo, OP! I think that needed to be said! I was afraid you might say something insulting, but that was only fair assesment of the situation and you'd be forever stuck being the doormat if you hadn't defended your feelings. And to be honest the normalcy! This family is insane if they think nothing is private! First many dates are!!
First story made my chest tighten hearing it
All I gotta say is that everyone's a general after the war in regard to the first story. OP wasn't overreacting, the family did need to hear it because it sounded like an echo chamber of pressure being stuck with these people you hardly know and having your boundaries stomped to mush all night.
Right!? I love all the people who said ' he was overreacting because I would have been fine with that situation'.
Maybe that is true for them, but just because they would doesn't mean all people can or should roll with it.
He asked for a moment by them selves and she ignored that.
The second time he asked should have been the clue that this was too much.
@@LA-mz1dd This and it doesn't help that op gave her part of his schedule (yoga) and seems to almost be leading her on by not giving her a hard shut down. It sounds like she could use that to stalk him if he rejects her. And while she may not seem like the type, it's hard to say she won't seeing how she apparently hasn't decided to move on after their talk. It makes me worried for when or if op dates someone else. Plus, if you flip the genders, this would not sound great on the date's part the whole way through. Over all, this situation is a big red flag that gets more red with every update.
How are y’all not at 1 million subs yet. Your humor gives me life.
I wouldn't mind someone drinking from a straw while asking me out, there are more important things. 😄
oh my god, if someone did this to me, I would run for the hills. Doesn't matter how great they seem to be, the lack of respect towards me, my boundaries, coupled with my social anxiety and the psychological pressure from being put in this ridiculous situation. This would be a nightmare to me. So no, no matter how great of a person I'm missing out on, I would NOT go back and date someone who did this to me on A FIRST DATE.
edit: wtf us the last comment talking about? It is a huge deal! She put a guy she barely knew in this awful situation, with total disregard about his feelings, wants or needs, and let him be harassed by her family 'till he was brought to a panic attack. It's not that this commentor is "more social and out there", he just completely lacks empathy.
Feels like a christmas movie.
The girl was like "I have a boyfriend! I'll bring him to the party!"
Checks tinder.
Forgets to clue OP in.
I think there’s a massive point missed with OP being ambushed on his first date. She had ample opportunity to give him a heads up on the way to meet the family. She knew where they were going - she knew her family and how they were, why wouldn’t she give him the heads up and set the stage for him to be able to face that environment? She dumped him in the deep end and then everyone is blaming him for blowing up - even after the family repeatedly told him to be honest with his feelings. I don’t think OP did anything wrong in that situation and I commend him for even sticking it out as long as he did in that situation.
Regarding apologies: do it by phone, email, text, whatever, and if that person is into seeing you, apologize in person.
Make it count though, cuz once you get the opportunity to fully apologize in person - if you do get that chance - then that’s it, you’re done. No need to apologize over and over. Just don’t make the same mistake twice.
How they react to your apology is important, too. If he or she just wants to bring up your transgression over and over, that is a transgression in itself. Maybe you’re learning you want a more positive partner.
Drinking out of a straw is NOT an ick.
At the pit stop….
I feel like up til now OP really hasn’t said anything out of line, given that everyone in the room advised him to speak exactly what was on his mind. Everything he’s said up til now has been entirely reasonable, and has not dipped into the edge of insult.
They asked for it. ikr
I was almost understanding with the girl’s side on first date story, because I’ve got a big extended family that I’m very close to and have introduced SO to them pretty early in the relationship. BUT, when I found out she only sees those family members once a year I changed my mind. My family members are a constant part of my life. I could NEVER imagine bringing a first date to meet family members I only see every so often. And honestly even the ones I do see constantly I realize it still can be a huge step for the person I’m seeing so I always make sure they feel ready to meet them beforehand. He’s a jerk for continuing after they were alone and she was crying, but she also is a AH for putting him in a high pressure situation with absolutely NO warning.
They didn’t live in the same state
I understand your perspective but it can be hard to set aside time, multiple times a year, to visit people
Especially if they aren’t well off
We love you John!❤❤
To answer your question John yes we would definitely be your beehive.... Lol
Oh my god … this woman and her family disrespected his boundaries and it’s absolutely unfair they did this to him. Her family sounds controlling and getting into her dating business this early on was SO inappropriate. I’d be so upset if I got dropped into this situation without any notice and feel completely disrespected…. RED FLAG without a doubt. Her family would dominate that entire relationship.
💯 agree OP should do a second date! If there is that much of a spark its worth looking into! At the very least they could end up with a great friendship, at the most he could wind up finding his super whacky forever person! Either way they have now built a friendship and thats a fantastic place to start(again)!
Oh also dont let people you dont know dictate how you react to what you feel or how you live your life! GO FOR IT OP!😂😊
LEAVE JOHN ALONE 😂😂
I am not a teabag!!! Maybe a biscuit
BISCUITS IS SO GOOD
I love the tea bags 😂😂
I will not take this cow slander. Cows are incredibly intelligent animals and have very complex personalities and friendships. Do not compare this crazy smooth brained mommas boy to those poor grass puppies
OK Fam all the way!🙌
OP was fully within his right to be as blunt as he was because of how she reacted to him when he asked her for a private moment to speak. This was a serious red flag.
I’m pretty open minded but the family reunion first date story is NUTS. She should’ve been clear what her intentions are and if he’s okay with it. You just don’t spring that on someone. It gives me the same vibes as the guy who convinced his friend that she’s dating him & she’s crazy for not noticing it. Later on you find out he’s very controlling & bad person.
“I stopped drinking out of a straw” 😆😂
Yo wtf that little tv screen does Riley no justice js 😂 he needs to be sitting out in the open from now on 💀
Yay John is back!
So glad I bagged my man when I was still young and fun. My dating profiles would be awkward af these days.
WOW! 😳 I got "Get Out" and "Crazy Cult" vibes from this story...I would have been scared that they were not going to let me leave. After THREE hrs of this interaction, I'd have freaked out too. AND, if you're having a panic attack (which this family caused), you do not respond/act "rationally"; you feel like you are dying, drowning, losing it and go into survival mode...so, no judgement (IMO) on how OP reacted (after over 3 hrs of interrogation??😳). I'm a firm believer in, "don't ask, if you really don't want to know my (true) answer." They showed no respect for OP, who tried to decline answering multiple times, so his repsonse was justified (IMO).
I don't think that drinking out of a straw is an ick
I want to see more of Riley in the format like the end lol
What a great episode! Really love your chemistry.
Was that a Call of Duty reference? The 'broken clock is right twice a day' commitment.... or am I killing zombies too much lmfao
47:15 who uses a straw for a latte?!?!?!?! It's a hot drink, it's not necessarily an ick, more a wtf
No Tea Bags please 😂😂😂. I like Ok Fam.
that story... WAS WILD!!!!!
Drinking out of a straw is not an ick! Being yourself is the opposite of an ick. ❤
Please don't call us tea bags.
1000% I’m down to be called part of the okop fam tea bags 🤣
I think OKOP gang/fam are better than teabags even though I love the hot tea 🍵☕.
It’s one thing to to be spontaneous and ASK a date to go to a family function or whatever to “check the vibes”, another to just take them.
Also, it’s 40 people, not 4.
Furthermore, I don’t see the point of bringing him. Like what was the goal? Make him like the family?
The knowledge that same went to the same university as me is THROWING me for a loop
No this roast on John was actually the funniest 😂 No one is judging you J man!! Here for the roasts. Sam you deffs suit black! I almost feel like I’ve never seen you in it before
OP did not overreact. That was a 1st date from HELL!
Drinking out of a straw is not an ick for me personally, but eating or drinking loudly in public is impolite.
I'm sick with Covid-19 and the "Are they Mormon??" Made me bust out laughing.
The first story. OP is a king! Good job for calling them all out. That’s not an overreaction and I’m glad he was straight with them.
And seriously? Dream girl guys? She may be physically his type but mentally she’s a walking red flag.