Society vs. The "Average" Looking Black Woman
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- Опубліковано 29 січ 2025
- Hi everyone, welcome back! In today's video I'm discussing desirability politics in the context of Black women. I'm exploring everything from featurism to exotification and examining how these standards are upheld both inter and intraculturally. Let me know what you think!
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Media I consumed in prep for this video:
VIDEOS:
'Megan Thee Stallion & the politics of desirability' by Khadija Mbowe
• Megan Thee Stallion & ...
'Eh pretty privilege isn’t substantial but desirability politics is' by Teanna
• Video
'I'm Black...Not ✨Black✨| The Societal Beauty Standard for Black Women by Ty Talks
• Video
ARTICLES/BLOG POSTS:
'Desirability: Do You Really Love Fat People When You Can't Even See Us Beyond the Political' by Da'Shaun Harrison
dashaunharriso...
'What are the Politics of Desirability?' by Tristan
urge.org/what-...
'Colorism, Feauturism, and Texturism' by Fatoumata Drammeh
mcsmrampage.co...
'Average Acceptance Now' by Quinta Brunson
www.playboy.co...
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Now why did you do Quinta like that in the thumbnail??? Lol
I could've chosen almost anyone, but Quinta came to mind first bc last year she did an interview with Playboy talking about average acceptance and it really stuck out to me. Here's the link if you wanna check it out: www.playboy.com/read/quinta-brunson
i think its a cute picture lol
Being overlooked isnt anyone’s fault. Folks eyes really do be primed for European features
@@TeeNoir hey thank you for dropping that link. I didnt know she wrote about this!
@@TeeNoir It's not you choosing Quinta, it's the picture you chose lol
I have SO many thoughts on this topic, especially on the exotification and fetishization of dark skinned Black women and how the standards/expectations of how we’re supposed to show up and present ourselves are def MUCH higher for us. your video was so eloquently summarized!!!!
Society very much expects dark skinned black women to come out of the womb full glam, outfit on point
@@jay1603 Yeah we can’t just…be
Society either hates to see you be normal and dark skin or they'll adore you if you fall for their clown ass "step on me dommy mommy" shit, bc for some reason people can only love black people in the form of fetishism
Can we say your take on this in a video?
I agree
Asian doll's eyes aren't ambiguous, the confusion about black women with almond/slanted eyes comes from a lack of representation of darkskinned black women. Those eyes are an EXTREMELY common african feature
@@art_n_craps4361 Africans with blue and green eyes aren't common. Actually, those eyes aren't common for the human race, brown eyes and dark hair are the dominant features for the human race. It's like 7' basketball players - they exist, but for most of the human race it is odd.
@@art_n_craps4361 Isn't the issue the picking and choosing of which African features get hyped and which don't also an issue.
Like if you wanna hype green eyes and small pointed noses go on head but you know well that the wide bell pepper noses and brown eyes aren't getting the same love.
I agree I’m African specifically Nigerian and many people that are from there have those type of eyes that they like to call “Asian eyes” lol All Asians don’t even have these type of eyes. My sister has them and the singer Brandy has them too, both completely black 😭
No lol those eyes r mostly found in some tribes in South Africa. It’s not EXTREMELY common. It’s just a feature that a sect of Africans have.
@@joe_mama_ nope. I'm Nigerian and I've been told "you have asian eyes". Not really that rare
WE MISSED YOU
Yes we did 🙌🏿
frederic chen commenting on tee's video is the crossover i needed ✋😩
Honestly. I am happy that she’s back🥺‼️
I WAS SUFFOCATING I NEEDED SOMETHING
Indeeeeed
“Attraction can’t be forced… but it can be manipulated.”
A Gem. 💎
Bingo and people fall into the lion's den everyday and get sucked dry and burned at the same damn time. Gotta love hell.
african based features favor the man.. the genetics of the lower jaw protruding out (Big underBite) is masculine..
Men like girls with small jawLine.. add in bad hair and nasty looking vagina and asshole.. what do u expect?..
That part! ❤️👏
😊@@Erica-cf1xb
If you're black u can't manipulate anything
As an older woman, I remember “the scale”. The darker you were, the prettier you “had” to be. And the lighter you were, the “uglier” you were allowed to be just because your DNA carried lighter skin.
Wow thats cray. But imagine being me a medium brown girl with a light skinned twin sister. My complexion compared to her automatically made me the less cute less desireable one. And to this day ive had to work harder and be smarter and more attractive to make it and all shes had to do is show up. Its amazing how something so small has such an impact on peoples perception of you without even knowing u.
Exactly
Sooo true
You ain't never lied!
Mhmm
Okay but for real, I think about this all the time in terms of how feautirism intersects with dark skin. Because a lot of the dark-skinned Black women that get praised for being beautiful/gorgeous have features that more closely resemble European features.
Gonna let myself go away and gather more thoughts but excited to watch the other parts whenever you feel like dropping them!
Preach...I was thinking the exact same thing
I just finished watching your video on gossip girl. I loved it especially emphasizing adults playing teens. " investment in beige"
Ivzz can
This, 100%. Most of the nonwhite people who are widely touted as beautiful or become big models have Europeanish features, even if they have relatively dark skin.
I remember when you made this comment in one of your videos about Lupito Nyong'o and my mind was 🤯. And it applies to other non-white races that are most glamourized, they tend to have more "western features"
That's exactly why I love Issa Rae. To watch "awkward black girl" and "insecure" I found someone that I can relate to and felt better about not being put together all the time.
Same!
Yes! Her book was also hilarious and relatable.
!!!!
Yeah I loved awkward black girl because it was finally something I can relate to.
She’s gone through the same beautification process. In her ABG days she was average but now she’s desirable.
As a black man, this was so real. Especially growing up. I loved the “Quinta’s” of my school. The natural haired black girls who just were. But god forbid you tell your home boy’s you’re crushing on one of them instead of the “baddies.”
@TheWhyteDevil yeah cause a 10-15 year old is choosing his friends very wisely. Shut up
@@deblag5992understandable brother pay this CHILD no mind 🗿🤙🏽
Yeah that natural hair don't look appealing nowadays. That shit look like a bag of dirty ass cotton. Like cotton that's be dunked in old ass engine grease, rolled around in the dirt and tossed into a dryer with paper that got left in your pocket.
@@deblag5992 So true. That’s what I see from all the highschool boys. Black girls can’t be natural.
@@deblag5992 Why, because he told the truth?
a few days ago I saw a post where they were like, "let's uplift dark-skinned black women" then they proceeded to show only a PARTICULAR type of dark-skinned black woman that looks like Ryan Destiny and Naomi Campbell...that's the pinnacle of featurism for me
That's like most "black women empowerment" pages. They promote only a section section of dark skinned women.
@@nherty6172 that’s wrong tbh those are examples of attractive black women there’s no such thing as featurism
Yes, say it louder
@@greatestindanationwide8332 in entertainment, black women with "white" features (usually face shapes and eyes... and especially noses for whatever reason) are the ones usually celebrated and seen as beautiful. take a look through an instagram feed and see how many people with non-european features you find
@@greatestindanationwide8332 I-
Wait did u even watch the video?
"Africana Grande"- demolished me😩💀
You know how long I been waiting to use that one lmao
la gran africana?
Or Awkwafina 🤭🤭🤭🤭
@@lyn8704 no she grew up in a middle class predominantly Asian neighborhood
@@lyn8704 who cares where she grew up? Where does "fina" come from? Serafina? That's not particularly "hood", it's African and she ain't African.
Black women always need to have a full face of makeup and need to be sexy man eaters in order to be pretty. But a “basic” or normal looking black woman is always overlooked. A white woman always has a movie about her being normal and shy, and never having makeup, and wearing baggy clothes. I see black girls like that EVERYWHERE and they don’t get nearly enough attention like they do. I can’t wait for the day till the day I can wear a simple outfit and be deemed sexy without trying.
Edit: Not once did I say I wanted nor NEEDED the exception from others to be pretty. Second, stop blaming black women for problems that we didn’t start. It’s like y’all forget racism isnt the root to all this. Lastly, those who aren’t black women need to stop giving your input into something you can’t relate to. Thank you
That's weird, I'm a black woman and when I dress down and do less I get more attention from other races. I guess everyone's experience is different.
Plz just shut up!
@@FuuTails why watch a video like this if you are going to be combative. You are one of those “not everything is about race” ppl.
Why are u so obsessed with if other people find you sexy or not 😭😭 cry me a river
@@marimaa93 someone didn't get that..societally almost everyone cares ab standards whether they tell u or not, black women shouldnt get treated as if succumbing to those standards is the worst thing bc they can be unlearned
As a biracial person who got all my daddy's black features and my mama's skin, i can 100% confirm featurism is real and unfair. Grew up with hispanic aunties telling me to put clothespins on my nose to make it less wide
now what the hell were they thinking telling u that🤨. that’s the dumbest thing i’ve ever heard. so sad
@@nileriver1632 they were trying to get her to reshape her nose so that as she grew her nose wouldnt. It's akin to foot binding. The body is malleable when young, not so much when older (I'm not saying what they said was good, but simply answering your question of what were they thinking)
Maybe its my own self hate, but i always thought wider bridges were more attractive. it is a damn shame we dont see more variety of shades and features on our screens
@@marie-francoiset9402 damn. that’s so gross
@@nileriver1632 well yeah. but i feel the poster's comment really speaks to identity issues. not so much them trying to shape her nose. Doesn't sound like she was accepted in her family. Latinos seem to reject anything identifiably black
another hit !!!
Omgg I love you I didn’t know you watched her too!😭
Mam, didn’t you once upon a time say that colorism didn’t exist?
I love how you support all the black female UA-camrs absolutely love you!
@@handsomesquidward4377 Even if she did (not sure if she did or not), people grow and opinions change.
@@themonsterwithin4000 she did a whole video on it.. She deleted it, cause she caught an immense amount of backlash for it..
Guess who's black in the housssseeeee!! Now lemme pause this editing and get my chai tea latte set up.
Hey hey boo boo. U know I’m watchin this
khadija hello my love i’m a big fan❤️❤️❤️
The way I was also drinking chai tea when I was watching your desirability politics vid lmao
Every since Tee Noir mentioned you. I have been hooked on a weekly basis watching your videos
Okay, I live for this interaction right here
Also, a lot of black women become hyper feminine to try and change the perception that we are masculine and undesirable. However, this back fires when they just want to be regular - "they fell off" or then it becomes their personality with the inclusion of hypersexuality and glamorisation aswell. You actually can't win. It's a catch 22 situation.
👏👏👏👏👏
What is "hyperfeminine"? I don't understand the term.
@@lindalnd90 hyperfeminism is when women “who are feminine in their own right” go out of our way and alter your appearance, personality and mannerisms in a way they are seen as “more feminine or the epitome of femininity”.
Another discussion that should be had is why is the black woman stereotypical personality favored on everyone but black women
@@tajsimms8976 How do you mean, please explain further.
Could you talk more about the pressure black women feel to fit that standard of being thicc and having a big butt? Because I see so so many videos of girls lining up to get their BBLs done and most of them are black. And honestly I keep thinking about how they're being "manipulated" in some form by the media because that's their definition (the media's definition) of an attractive black woman, to fit that idea of a pear shaped body.
I think out of necessity to push back against the eurocentric standard of beauty, many black women have adopted the idea that most black women are well endowed and whilst it may be true for some, it definitely does leave some in the dark. There's a lot to be picked apart with the whole black features thing when it comes to black women because I ultimately think it is made to support the idea of hyperfemininity in black women.
In high school, some girls would pick me apart for not having a big butt. Because in their eyes either you have a big butt or you have no butt. And I remember them saying that no one would want me because of my body. With that being said I was very insecure, and I remember forcing myself to wear shorts under my pants to make my butt look bigger , or to do squats so that way I can get more attention . But now as I am older I recognize that some stuff is a trend. I remember when having a big butt wasn’t a trend. My advice is to remember how vital it is to love your self, your features anything god gave you because he don’t make mistakes. So love the body that you are in, and to recognize that changing your body for attention isn’t healthy at all.
Bc black women are only praised when they are thick
@@aisha-3857 not true. Attractive black woman are always praised as long as they are in good physical shape (capable of running without effort and having a flat stomach). Nobody wants thick obese women later on in life.
Crazy thing, we get bbls and yet not look at as humans🤷🏽♀️Outer cultural and inner cultural
So many of us Black women “know” exactly what you’re saying in this video… we just didn’t know how to put it into words if that makes sense. The video is so eloquently put and thought out. Thanks for bringing attention to this matter 🥰
took the words out of my mouth
Actually correct
@Tyler B #2 hey troll
Love this. I remember being a Jamaican Black Girl in America in 1976... & it wasnt nice .. had to fight everybody cause it wasn't cute to have an accent. Fast forward 15 years & everybody thinks it's "Exotic"
Pure BS..we ALL are BLACK.
I’ve noticed that every other race except for black women can be seen as anything but still accepted as a women/girl. They can be Tom boys, Emo, athletic, hip, grungy/street, hood, loud and expressive, sexy, smart, artistic, geeky etc and still be seen as feminine and girly. But with black women and girls there is a huge stereotype about us being one thing (loud, aggressive, sexualised) and if you don’t meet above standards (look and act a certain way) then you aren’t looked at as a women/girl or feminine. I think black people are too critical on themselves and because there are black girls who act the stereotype that gets branded to all black girls. There’s nothing wrong with having a variety of black girls and woman with different characters, no matter how you look or act you should still be seen as a woman because you are one.
Well stated. On August 6, 2021, I did the big chop and immediately my mom put me in braids. I'm scared that if I wear my natural hair I won't be seen as a girl; especially due to the fact that I always wear pants. I'm really sad because I see non-black girls doing the same thing and being seen as female. Right now, I'm just wishing for the best.
@@lauralarson3111 damn. I can relate so much! I literally get so much anxiety about wearing my short hair naturally because of how I’ll be perceived.
That's the problem with having other people control the narrative. While we're fighting each other, black folks need to be focused on taking control of our image and protecting our cultures.
@@LadyAstarionAncunin Yes, black women are trying but I don't know about the majority of black men..
I heard someone judge a black woman as a “ hood chick “ before he even met her just because she had tattoos in her pictures. He doesn’t even know her.
Why can’t black women just exists. We are not a monolith. Black women seem to only be acceptable in society when we look like the Naomi Campbell prototype aka runway model (thin, slim facial features, always made up 24/7)
Or when we are slim-thick aka extra small waist, extra large booty and hips. Obviously there's nothing in between that is acceptable.
No their are asiatic africans anyways. Just likw there are black blondes in the pacific islands. So thats not a argument
@@idamiller133 wait what 😂😂
No one thinks obesity is cute
frr
I was thinking about this the other day with the "black women luxury" hashtag or any hashtag about luxurious black living. They pretty much ALL wear straight or slightly wavy weaves and wigs and if it is curly its looser type 3 or 4a curls.. Why are we associating 'upper class' living with straight hair?? Do they think kinky hair is "lower class"?
Or maybe the the women with 4c hair whom lives in luxury can start vlogging their luxurious life styles?!?! I don't understand why some try to shame others on how they express themselves. If you see a lack of something and want to see more of what you see lacking or not being represented, then YOU be that change instead of trying to force others to mold to how you want them to present
@@WelcometoDeathrowbishes118
1)Commentary isn't shame that's quite the stretch. I'm simply making an observation.
2)Most of these girls like Nikki Thot DO have 4c hair who again CHOOSE TO WEAR STRAIGHT HAIR instead of their natural curl pattern which is what my commentary is on. I myself always rock my wash and go 😉
3)So again my question is WHY do they feel the need to do that instead of rocking their natural hair? Is it societal pressure? Are they associating European beauty standards to mean luxury?
4)Show me where I'm forcing anyone to do anything 🤣
5)Don't like your own comments. That's cringey.
@@WelcometoDeathrowbishes118 girl your username is a whole red flag
@@darcyliliana4907 That means you're insecure. I'm proud to be boney🤷🏽
@@WelcometoDeathrowbishes118 fun fact I am skinny. You just have a superiority complex.
I'm back! & colorful as fuck lol.
Also, I'm going live on Patreon on Saturday Sep. 11th at 3 pm EST for a catch up/Q&A! Feel free to leave your questions under this comment 😊I hope to see you there 💖🦋🌼🐞🔮🍭
Bella! Where the hell you been loca? 🥺
Hay Teeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ! Topic idea : women and non binaries in tech ! (Or spaces where they're not in general) and maybe a dive into why that is. Social norms ? Lack of interest in that field ?
Yesterday I had to personally look if you'd posted anything new because I was convinced my notifications weren't working. I missed feeling intellectual, cultured and like a bhaddie all at once 😂❤️
WHERE THE F HAVE YOU BEEN!! MISSED YOU FAM!!
Girl where you been! I missed you!
This! AALLLLL OF THIS! I just had a conversation with someone like this. She was saying that she just wants to be the pretty person in the room without having to do a lot, but was equating it all to colorism and I didn't quite know how to articulate what I was trying to say, but this video here is it! Tee you help keep me educated and always send me where I need to go to get informed. ❤️ Your videos always make me want to learn more.
This comment really means a lot. Thank you so much!
@@TeeNoir Of course it's ok to be a regular everyday black girl, but how could you expect ones with rare features to not be looked at with admiration??? Do you understand the definition of rare??? People love anything that is rare and that includes jewelry, clothes, cars, food, and people as well. I have dated many so called average black women but sometimes you get tired of the same type of companion, and if you don't then wouldn't that kind of be like fetishizing???
So basically, she was upset that more attractive women were getting more attention than her, because she was average? What the hell is wrong with you people?
@@jayrose8869 exactly, most people are Average. Why would you expect to be viewed the same as someone who is above average?
I remember my dad making a rule that you couldn't walk around the house with "tore-up" hair. I've always been low maintenance naturally, but I feel so much pressure by family. My own father would yell at my mom because I wore a ponytail everyday in middle school. I was even forced to get a sew-in once! The type of thinking gives women and girls low self-esteem and social anxiety.
😯😔
Yep I can relate except we weren’t allowed see ins. Only old lady hair styles
I’m a male and i too went through this with my family saying my hair needed to be cut and it couldn’t be nappy. I even grew my hair past my shoulders and got yelled at for it.
My mom is like this. She's always saying I have to put on makeup when I go to work and look my best, which no shame to those who do, but I think it's fine if I go to work and just look ordinary.
Wow.
"But her nose ruins her face" Can't people just say someone is pretty and move on?
It's sad to say, but I have to because it seems that most of the time female celebrities get work done, but I sometimes find myself hoping Meg doesn't get her nose done. She looks beautiful with/without makeup, and her nose is a part of that. It also makes her look like her dad, so I'd hope she'd want to keep that part of her (and him) intact. But you just never know.
Unfortunately not, they always gotta sneak in that snide part of the comment that shows how they really feel.
I agree bc I don't see many white noses that I like. Their nostrils that are quite narrow actually freak me out. Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder.
I'm a 43 try old black woman, I'll share this DO NOT seek approval from outside of yourself. DO NOT let society tell u who or what u are should to do or look like. We only get so many days on earth, DO NOT waste them worrying abt this.
We are not our body, we are a soul that inhabits a body.
Ppl spends so much time worrying about the outside.. instead of the inside.
Stop comparing yourself to the next person & be happy with who u are.
We were put on earth for a purpose & must ppl never live theirs bc they are too busy worrying about looks & other superficial thing.
Well said
Thank you for saying this. It’s really hard to live in a society without letting it get to you. I’m getting there.
💯💞
Don’t forget that we all should seek to be the best version of ourselves including physical health.
Exactly! These earthly bodies will soon be no more.
Thanks Tee ❤️
Really cant believe we still talking about bonnets too 😭
Foreign phase! We was all pulling any ancestry that we ain’t ever have!
I loveeeeee your videosssss
@@Fabsocialism PLSS THIS MADE ME LAUGH
Welcome
"attraction cannot be forced but it can absolutely be manipulated" -- she said it once and she said it again
We really don't have an equivalent of the "messy hair don't care" "no makeup makeup" "I woke up like this" white girl look, do we? Every Black girl inspo on Pinterest looks like _work._
EDIT: For the people commenting "well I can do it, don't see why it's so hard" or "just believe in your beauty!" you're not who this is for, and it doesn't make the observation any less useful or prevalent. I made it from my POV because I have thick 4c hair that isn't easily pineapple-d and skin hyperpigmentation, and I feel I have to do more "work" to look traditionally put-together because of it.
Yeen tellin no lies
The closest thing i can think of would be the black girl with pineapple puff with, no laid edges and no makeup but even that's not an image that's promoted.
Zendaya has that look in Spiderman
@@edithputhy4948 Zendya is lightskinned and biracial. She's still black but she exists in a very different realm than monoracial and darkskin women do.
@@junejean1038 Zendaya is not black. Mixed does not equal black. Mixed is mixed, black is black.
Chika is honestly so beautiful it’s shocking - the hate she’s gotten is baffling to me. This is a great video, Tee!
I agree, when searching for a picture of her to use for this video I was like wow I loveeee her face
@@TeeNoir Thanks for the reply! You’re very lovely, and I’m looking forward to parts 2 and 3.
Facts! She's gorgeous
this video perfectly encapsulates what i feel like i feel like such an average black women. A lot of people in my comments call me a man and ugly and i have to wear a full face of makeup with a laid wig just to not get harassed about my appearance and not being pretty like other black women in commentary
@@henrdnemdj5271 no i think getting called an “ugly monkey” on my videos definitely has to do with race
Girl Sis I feel the same
Wow, this is disgusting. If anything, censor your comments because that’s colorists and racists doing that garbage. It’s unacceptable💯
I was told I was an “ angry black feminist “ on one of my videos just because I spoke out on an Asian owned business stealing from me. I spoke softly too and I was still labeled as that.
@@TheLeah2344 yes, because asian men and women are seen as docile and innocent. Even in Kpop they treat those idols like children. They know they're seen differently and use those perceptions against black people the same way whites do.
As a light skinned black man with light colored eyes, I've experienced this societal rewarding for certain features that people wouldn't deem "black" via backhanded compliments such as "you gotta be mixed with something" or they just assume iam a different ethnicity all together. When I infact am undeniably black. So thank you for shining a light on this topic for those who would be concerned
A lot of Igbos have this.
I can't wait until you do a video on how " everyone loves black just not on black women ". And the inequality between black women supporting black men and black men supporting black women
soo true
Can u pls not involved black men in ur chains of complain ! If u beautiful u beautiful it doesn't matter ur skin tone ! What are we suppose to do ? Go around changing peoples mind on what they like ?! U don't like short men fat and broke ! U don't see us running around complaining ! Cause that's just life people like what they like ! This is just pathetic and down low depressing ! What must they do ? Go around saying they like fat women ? So basically lie to make u feel better? Come back and tell us what u think we should do once u collectively start dating short broke fat men
Damn queen! I wanna see that video too! ❤️
@@mindovermatter9083 you're so beyond ignorant
So true
sis you don’t miss.
i recently made my way through the underwhelming new book about Aaliyah and the author wrote this: “she defied race, with long straight hair and light skin - a combination of jamaican roots mixed with native american blood, and an arabic name to boot” .. and it goes on. the worst part is this white author intended to compliment the very beautiful Aaliyah, while othering her. the anti-blackness via exotification and featurism is trifling.
also lol @ “defying” race bc of the paper bag test and a silk press
Yikes😬😬
Omg thats terrible. I see why Aaliyah's family doesnt approve of that book. smh
It's so bad it sounds like satire....
This is more common behavior than you think from non blacks. They “other” me all the time. I had many non blacks try to categorize me as “biracial” because I don’t have “typical black girl” features (my hair, “red skin”,and “Asian eyes”) I’m literally quoting what has been said to me as their reason for saying I’m not a black woman. It’s ridiculous because I stay having to talk about slavery, give history lessons and go over my family tree trying to educate folks 🤦🏽♀️
@@hayabusahime same I came just to say yikes.. I dont even have another word I'm almost speechless to that..
🧡🦇
When you started talking about how black women get mad when other races say “I got a black girl booty” etc.. you hit the nail on the head. I’ve been wanting to make a video relating to featurism and texturism for awhile and now I think I will!
Do that sis!!! I’ll watch it 🥰🥰🥰 I love conversations like these. It’s the only way to break down the walls
it's funny cause most women getting bbls happen to be black women, I have family who ISN'T black and don't have black in them with huge shelf like NATURAL asses so this stereotype does not apply where I'm from lmao
@@handleisGG not true at all white women are 12 million more times to get it than any other.
@@yushuahuesun9423 lmaoo you've never seen the pictures of people lining up at the Dominican airport? sweetie they were NOT white, the only white people who have had bbls are the kardashians and SOME LA white girls but aside from that? The VAST majority of them ARE Black and Hispanic since the early 2000s from nicki minaj (implants u get the drift) SHE got implants LONG before the kardashians had bbls... blac chyna, cardi even had injections back then, ALL the ghetto xxx magazines inspired black women to get bbls or implants or injections it's a KNOWN fact, I worked at a clinic before and I have yet to see a white girl come in and ask for that procedure, lips? yeah ASS? no because they know its a trend and they HAVE gluteus to work on at the gym anyway, only those on ig get it done and most of those white girls are literally FROM LA
@@handleisGG yeah it doesn’t apply where YOU’RE from. A lot of black women naturally have a nice round butt, even if it isn’t necessarily big. How big it is depends on your weight more-so. A skinny black girl is more likely to a have a rounder butt than a skinny white girl. Please stop trying to glorify our features and give them to other races. Smh. Black women get the most butt augmentations because our counterparts, black men, have always voiced that they found that attractive. Black women who get bbls desire to look like other black women who have big butts, they are not getting Bbls to look like other races. You know that so stop playing.And a lot of times they already had a or round butt and just wanted it bigger. Nicki actually had some butt before she got it done if you look at her old mixtape videos. That pic of her in the pink shirt with a flat ass has been proven fake, you can Google it. In shape black women used to get called fat because they had a big butt, by all races of women. So please just stop. If you’re a black woman, you’re shooting yourself in the foot. If you aren’t, I could see why you have the perspective you do.
It’s so interesting how this phenomenon is also widely present in south Asian society as well.Women with “average” features who are light are automatically seen as beautiful but darker women literally have to be outstandingly beautiful to even compare.Even then,it’s still “she’s pretty for a dark skinned girl”.
Yes that's how i think
Exactly a below average but fair skinned girl is considered prettier than above average but dark skinned girl.
the way society loves to drag black women’s body and features but love to see black women’s features on non-black women and white women e.g the kardashians
@Saltybee society loves to pick and choose poc’s features (esp black women’s) and decide when they are attractive, or not
Nobody is doing that tbh most BW simply are not attractive. Any race can have curves and big lips African people do not own those features
@@henrdnemdj5271 will you gtfo. Who even invited you to blk women's business. Some of your yt people love being in a blk woman's business. Shut up with "preference".
@Saltybee fox eyes is not mimicking East Asian eyes at all. It’s trying to achieve almond eyes not East Asian eyes
@chuuzus Especially curves and lips. But never the nose and hair texture.
As a dark skin, big nose, big lip, woman with 4c hair, I loved this video. You articulate so well. I recently posted a video in my “being ugly” series that talks about how I’ve dealt with colorism, texturism, and now I have a name for it thanks to you “featurism.” Life has been difficult, but I’m finally happy. Thank you for being a voice. 💛💛💛💛
Featurism was always a term.
@@Debbiediamond0310 I still accredit Tee because she’s the one who introduced me to the term or the term to me
@@BirdLadySpeaks read more
@@Debbiediamond0310 Who peed in your Cheerios???? My goodness. Lol!!!! Actually, I read all the time. Could it be I just never came across the term in the type of reading I do???? Tee herself even said she had trouble finding info on the term. 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ Stay blessed. 💛💛💛💛
@@BirdLadySpeaks continue !
im 60..i would be so proud of you if you were my daughter..you are so smart, and deep, and so aware and so articulate, and beautiful....i just want to thank your mama for raising such a great human being
Thank you for these kind words! Sending this to her right now; she's gonna love it 💖
for someone who’s 60 you type like a gen z lool
@@ss-hc7tb nah fool, the ellipses are full on boomer give away
I LOVE how you talked about the foreign phase. When I met my husband I use to say proudly, I’m just black. And he would get annoyed like “you’re not a color”. Finally, I explained the girls where I came from were ALWAYS anything but black. Indian in their family, Hawaiian, biracial... and on and on. It took me so long to be proud growing up. Now... I’m just honored to be black mixed with black 💋❤️‼️
I know what you mean.
I’m a dark-skinned black girl and for so long, I felt I had to let everyone know that I had Creole in my family. Because it made me “better” or in close proximity to being “mixed”.
While there was nothing wrong with loving the other ethnicities that have made you, I noticed a pattern amongst black people who resembled me. It was almost as if they (and I) seemed more proud of their Puerto Rican side, Filipino side etc than their blackness. Like they (we) went out of their (our) way to let everyone know that they (we) weren’t ‘all the way black’. Hair wasn’t as nappy as *other black people. Skin wasn’t as dark as *other black people.
I see it all the time. It’s been a journey but I feel that I’m growing to love my blackness and not trying to hide behind it.
As someone who was told from an early age that she wasn't pretty and got called "manly, sir" and a lot of other things by dudes (especially white men), this makes me excited for the next video. Now the people who told me I wasn't pretty, did it by their actions when they loudly said how cute my best friends or my cousin were. They never said anything about me after making the comment and I remember that. When I started growing this beard and hair due to Polycystic Ovarian syndrome, I got told I looked manly and I would overcompensate with makeup and wearing girly clothes, and these white men would still call me sir and laugh as they'd say it.
And I'm saying white men because growing up and to my late 20's, I had black dudes call me ugly bitch when I'd turn them down but they never called me sir, or he or used male pronouns. It was my white counterparts who did that shit and they did it because they knew it would hurt me. They would see my face fall and smile or laugh.
It makes me feel sad to hear what you’ve gone through. The world feels harsh at times. But there are always those who see your beauty; I watched a Barbra Streisand movie today about an “ugly” woman but I kept thinking the whole time that I find her “less desirable” features very pretty.
@@RoaringMind girl if I say I resonate with you, I RESONATE with you. I have a light skinned younger sister and growing up with her was so traumatising for my confidence. I had and still have people tell me how she is the prettier sister, how I am not beautiful. Had teachers diss me using other girls in my class, was labeled one of the ugly girls in my class, got bullied for it, made fun of by adults and peers. Turning guys down was hard because you know the ugly comment is coming but you still have to turn them down. I had a teacher tell me to accept any guy who approaches me because it won't be easy for a girl like me to get attention from boys. All these were done by blk people.
I have come to know that I am beautiful but that stage really ruined the relationship between my sister and I. We are close as f*ck now but looking back I wished I had a different experience.
PCOS is a condition I only recently came to learn about, but beyond the medical aspects of it, I never even stopped to consider how it affects people socially as well. I so appreciate you for sharing this and uh yeah, fuck everyone who tried to reduce you. That shit can't fly NO MO!
if you live in the Philly area I can give you the contact info for my laser hair removal Doctor. He is an actual dermatologist and does hair removal on my face. he has a good amount of black patients and is reasonably priced.
❤❤❤
"It's okay to be a black woman, as long as you're not a black woman" - Me.
Our features, mannerisms, etc are beautiful and acceptable as long as it's not on us, black women! Tuh.
Edit:
Fashion too!! Someone under this comment reminded me of that!❤
Say it again sis. But they COULD NEVAAAA.
FACTS!!!
As a girl whose been plus size since I was 13 (now I’m 22), people don’t see me as a person. Strangers come up to me and say “When you lose weight, you’ll be pretty”. Even people I have known for years only ever address my weight and never ask simple questions like “How was your day” or “Is there anything going on in your life”. Some people make me feel like “when I lose weight” is the only time I’ll be accepted.
How the heck do ppl randomly walk up to someone and just say something like that?
Btw you probably look absolutely stunning, don't let anyone tell you otherwise 😊
I remember I was out grabbing food after having my daughter and a homeless guy told me, "you should really lose some weight because your body doesn't match your face. I was very suprised at how heavy you were when you got out your car. Your to pretty to be fat." People really be having the nerve!
@@KandyGTV Should've told him he's too outspoken to be homeless, I'd rather be heavy in my own home 😂😂
I feel like my family is obsessed with weight and looks in general. I get more compliments from strangers than my own flesh and blood.
Fuxk them you're gorgeous some ppl just have to find someone in the room to put down just to make themselves feel better, youre already winning love, stay beautiful mama💕
Thank you for speaking about how normal looking black women are overlooked. I’ve not been wearing make up and wearing my natural hair and it’s crazy how I feel so much more confident without it. I hid behind that ish because I thought that made me acceptable.
It also doesn't help that men are more cruel towards women whom they deem less attractive.
ok can we talk about this! Let's teach our boys to be respectful to women even if they aren't attracted to them bc this is an actual problem.
@@SoftNSpicey I totally agree with you.
BOOM and don't forget Mother's and Aunty's that use your weight as talking points. Being attractive is something I've assigned to be a survival need at a bare minimum.
@@BoMaBriGgs I love this statement. It's so true. Studies have shown that being attractive in life has benefited people greatly and how they can easily navigate life as a result of that.
@@sseraphim2818 It's an absolute fact.
Glamorization is DEFINITELY an issue. The money we’re expected to spend on hair, nails, lashes, brows, two piece outfits from fashion nova to CONSTANTLY look like a how girl. Then we literally put each other down if we aren’t all the way “put together” ... it’s all so annoying.
**EDIT: One thing I DO NOT stand for, is ANYONE coming for my people PERIOD. So if you crawl under ~MY~ comment coming at Black WOMEN, MEN, CHILDREN, TRANS, OR OTHER - I promise imma come straight for your neck. Now, have a blessed day ☺️🌺**
even with the little babies. A little black baby girl cannot have wild and free hair. It must always be "done"
That’s drag queen not glamorous. Glamorous bw are soft, delicate, beautiful, and look expensive, not looking extremely scary with those exaggerated looks. I just can’t believe bw are now whining because they should look put together. Whining about wearing sleep wear in public. Y’all ruin your own image than blame others. U go outside looking like that and post yourself on the internet looking a mess than get mad cause your stereotyped , than u try to turn around and prove a point that not all bw are lazy and blah blah blah well what is it .
Girl!
Totally. Its annoying and I'm surprised not many people have caught on.
its so much money! and that's after the pay gap like its wild out here!
My vote is for “Black women in the ordinary”. It really be the pro lighting, glam squads and a liiil photoshop that makes stars 🌟
Agreed
My vote is for DESIRABILITY. It can be achieved if you want it and work for it.
What you said about Issa putting “regular” women on the forefront as desirable characters was spot on and * I love her * for it. It’s so frustrating to see that black women always have to crank up the raunch (*and flowing extensions*) to be seen as desirable whereas the Taylor Swifts in Hollywood get to be themselves. Other artists get to lead with their talent whereas black women have to lead with sex appeal despite being equally if not more talented than their counterparts.
A word!!!!
There is not one "wholesome" fully black woman mainstream artist out right now...
It could have been CholexHallie, but they've changed.
I can only think of Willow Smith maybe...
I agree with u. Av noticed that when it comes to us black women even in terms of fashion in order to be considered stylish or sexy, the clothes are always vulgar, too tight, too short, ass hanging out. But women of other races will dress up classy n modest. Too much sexualization. Go even on pinterest n see the black girl fashion, it's mostly vulgar. Is that the only time we are considered attractive??
Yes thank you
This video also opened up my mind to how I token and ”trophisize” my lighter skinned mom. I am realizing that I would show people my mama and be like, “yeah, I come from someone beautiful, y’all see?!” Instead of believing that someone beautiful created someone beautiful. Ahhh I just love your videos! Gets my healing into updates and reboots!
Oweee I can relate!!!!
Yup I did this with my mixed mama
My contribution is simple... we as women needs to start evaluating our inner selves & stop watchin who race better in physical looks... god dont care about any make up... he bring us here from earths dirt so he dont care about us presentin ourselves infront of him with make up on... god created us in his own image & likeness so why do we feel the need for make up? How come men dont need it... vanity will kill most of us by tryin to look better than one another or to score on likes from the bruddas of today who still go for the eastern chics that we say are ugly... indonesians & vietamese women scorei5n instead bcuz of their naturalness & not fakeness bodies... & another ting us women feel.. is that if i impress others with my beautuful vulumcious booty & face that it will take us a long way.... wrong
And you are also beautiful
@@brit_brat thank you Lobe, YOU are beautiful!! 💜
Raise your hand if you're old enough to remember when they picked on the Williams sisters until they comforted to wearing make-up,weave,etc. Then they started complaining about their tennis outfits. That is why I'll keep supporting what they wear regardless(skin colored shorts and all lol)
Yesss the black community really dogged the sisters out calling them men .
Those sisters endured so much from our own especially the men and the women who wishes to be like them
@@wildsiempre3716 you’re making stuff up. That’s what white people were doing and black men always celebrated them way before the wigs and makeup. I wish they would stop wearing that crap but once they did, they got a white man.
@@joejett5084 if you believe it is made up that is alright but I remember many did not like them black women and men.
@@wildsiempre3716 maybe it was the people you were around but I only heard white people talking crazy but black women talked crazy about Beyoncé’s baby girl.
When white people were calling her manly looking, common and drake dated her. Nobody can be all things for all people.
@@joejett5084 Nah, they were def calling them men as in black people. They do it to Meg, event though she is the most hyper feminine person out there.
I love this video and love that you brought up Asian Doll. As an Asian female viewer of yours, I'm really glad that you pointed out how problematic the name Asian Doll or Tokyo Jetz is. On top of it creating a divide between Black women and perpetuating featurism, in the case of Asian Doll and Tokyo Jetz, it also hurts Asian women as well. Asian women are mocked for our eyes and told we are not beautiful because of it. It is similar to the idea of a Black woman in the ordinary. East Asian women in the ordinary possess features that are more typically associated with East Asians (small eyes, monolids, small nose with a low nose bridge, 'flat' face etc). And often times Asian women who buy into featurism will be praised for having features mostly associated with being White or Black while the Asian woman in the ordinary are continuously shamed. But when that feature, for example small almond eyes that curve upwards, is on White, Black, or Latina women it is considered beautiful and a 'fox eye'. I just wanted to make that parallel and reflect on how this parallel is a result of White Supremacist beauty standards and featurism creating divides between women of color and thus upholding White Supremacist beauty standards and putting down women of color who are not somehow featuristically out of the ordinary.
Exactly.
Well said queen
@Jeffrey Green She literally just explained it
Ah I am embarrassed at the ignorance people will continue with
But the original Asians are black you fully white you should know that education is key look it up on UA-cam!!
I just want to thank you for allowing me to finally understand something about myself. As a mixed race individual (South Asian Indian, Portuguese and Irish) I’ve always felt that I got the raw end of the genetic deal because I have dark brown eyes, dark brown skin and dark brown hair. None of the mixed beauty that immediately springs to mind when you imagine mixed race people (light eyes etc).
I’ve always felt that if you dropped me into the middle of Mumbai I would literally melt into the diaspora because I had no distinguishable features.
Today you taught me about featurism, and now I finally understand why I was always so saddened by looking like the average South Asian person. I didn’t want to. I had no problem being Indian, but I didn’t want to look it. I wanted to have some feature that was racially ambiguous, or honestly, caucasian.
Because whether it’s in the Indian community itself, or even out in the LGBTQ+ dating world of South Africa, the more racially ambiguous or caucasian you look, the more beautiful you are.
Average Indian beauty (dark eyes, skin etc) isn’t praised. I mean, before Priyanka the foremost Indian beauty on the world stage was Aishwarya Rai. Go take a look at her and you’ll see why that’s problematic.
I’ve done coloured contacts and I’m actually currently blonde right now, and I guess it will always be a struggle to fully just be okay with my given features, but I just wanted to say "THANK YOU" for giving my distress a name, a label, for making it a real, tangible issue that can be addressed with reasons why it exists and information as to how it affects someone of colour.
Thank you for allowing me to feel seen and heard, and for giving my struggle legitimacy. You rock and I wish you more power on your journey forward.
PS: apologies for the novel LOL
🤎 This gave me flashbacks to my teens & my Asian friends being confused and always questioning why my favourite babes were Kajol & Rani Mukherjee and surprised I could always guess theirs...either Aishwarya or Kareena Kapoor (for obvious reasons 🙄) skewed beauty standards so deeply ingrained they couldn’t see their own beauty. Sad to see as well both Kajol & Rani are sooooo much lighter now than back in the day!
@@Kashleighsays Guurrrrl! First of all, I’m LIVINNGGG for how well you know your Bollywood! And 2nd, you are absolutely 100% correct. Everybody died for Aishwarya or Kareena or Katrina Kaif because of their eyes or their light skin, and I always tried to bring up the fact that there is no actual "Indian-looking" aka brown actress visibly represented by the Indian entertainment industry. Kajol was beloved but mostly for her personality and never really as being a beauty (ludicrous!) and it was always so obvious as to why.
I remember year ago there was actual even a TV commercial with Priyanka Chopra and Said Ali Khan (light skinned actor) with the storyline being that he dumps her for being too dark so she gets the latest lightening brand and once she’s fairer he wants back again. I was like what the actual fuck?! How could they even pitch this let alone shoot it and what was Priyanka thinking signing on to something this demeaning?
But you’re right, the indoctrination of the caucasian European beauty standard is so deeply ingrained in the people, I mean it even is prevalent in the Indian community all the way in South Africa. It followed immigrants from the mother land and poisoned a whole new fresh society in a whole ass other country. It’s shameful tbh. And little is done to change it.
Heartbreaking, this world we live in.
Also shout out to SRK and the work of art that is his eyes 🌼
❤💪🏾❣
Are you northern Indian, southern Indian or north East Indian? I feel like unless you’re talking about average South Indian beauty it doesn’t apply because Northern Indians tend to have more European features (not all of course but a lot do) and north East Indians tend to have East and south East Asian features (again, not all)
This was so wonderful to watch. All of what you said is true and as an African woman born and raise in Africa, its getting worse and worse out here. Things that were okay 10yrs ago are no longer okay to society (thank you internet) more women are feeling the need to change their natural looks to fit a type. And those that refuse to are called names. Its wild.
I personally enjoy these in depth discussions and will share this with others. Thank you!💜
I feel this. I like in the UK and I remember growing up black boys criticising that I had natural hair. It's sad that it's spreading beyond Europe and the US.
We just be ourselves, plait our hair and go to bed and people who have been watching too much TV want hair flowing over pillows
Society has really pushed the glamourisation of women in general, and then for black woman the expectations seem to be ten times more! Thankyou so much for speaking on this i learned lots
I’ve realized that too especially body standerds. Woman in general are expected to be curvy or you’re not “a real woman” and I find that for black woman its even worse. People always stereotype black womans bodies as exaggeratedly curvy. And while some are imagine thoose that don’t fit and how they feel having to live up to such unrealistic body standers
Love that the Tee Noir channel is a community thinktank as she says. This video is probably the most comprehensive one on desirability politics as it effects black femmes that I've seen. Tee's video basically encapsulated the discussion of what people here on UA-cam were calling "the bbl trend" while also talking about featurism, two diverging topics that black folks were discussing for the last month.
Love that you can tell Tee's been think about what the people are talking about and only speaking on it when she felt like she had a comprehensive approach to the topics. Love the direction the channel is going down! Wish I had the money to be on her patreon 😖
Woah, it's like you were there when I purposefully took 4 weeks to write this lol. Exactly, exactly. So glad you caught that and thank you for watching!
This is why its IMPORTANT TO STAN NORMANI.
She is a visibly unambiguous looking Black woman of a darker shade. YES, she's "glamorous" but she IS a POP STAR.
I would if she actually released more often 😭 i really like her but i dont wanna get invested and then never hear of her doing anything again
@@pinkkam but y’all eat up these white artists who leave for years on top of years 🙄 anyways stan normani, she takes time with her craft and it’s obviously worth it.
Black women supremacy, but I stan MYSELF, and good music, no matter the race or genre. I always want to see unambiguous black women doing well, but normalize liking what you like, instead of putting people in boxes and saying "You HAVE to support this, or else you're not a real one.".
@@maybewise THANK YOU. I hate this "stan" culture, it's so childish.
@@maybewise Finally, a person with a valid opinion
As a black dark skinned woman Living in an Asian country, I totally agree/relate 😃 I know I’m late on this discussion but I’m here looking for some courage coz on this side of the world it’s tough
I understand @khuliso. I encourage to remind yourself of your worth by visiting channels like this, watching and reading content that reflects the beauty you are within and without. Having actively melanated skin, the natural bio-technology within that gives you a connection with the elements: sun and earth, is ignorantly derogatized as society was propped up on destructive ideas meant to demonize Nature...all forms of Nature in its Natural state. So trust, that you are simply a reminder in homogenous societies, that have planted the seed of internal self-hate into the minds of their populace to their detriment. Remain gracefully strong, find others to speak with about the challenges you experience so you have community to support your much needed existence. I am grateful that you are alive Khuliso.
Ik I’m probably late on this comment, but Keep pushing, I hope things are goin good for you, if they’re not , hopefully they get better❗️🖤
You are beautiful
Black girl, recently moved to Asia and i feel this so much
I feel like the only dark skinned girl with African features that’s been praised in the history of mankind is Lupita 😂 and she’s gorgeous and classy. If she was “hood” I wonder if she would be deemed “acceptable”. Smh.
She has the tiniest nose and the cutest little features, don’t get me wrong she’s very pretty but her facial features make her more palatable for mass media. And you’re right if she was a little bit more hood she wouldn’t have been so accepted
Does Naomi Campbell not have African features? She is still the most gorgeous woman I have seen.
Um obviously not..? No ghetto people are praised en masse.
@@sharichristmas8194 unfortunately she couldn’t see it, her facial structure is INSANE - yes typical African features and super beautiful, but I’m sure like many other dark skinned women in south London she was conditioned to believe otherwise
@@hi-je7km exactly no one really in high class likes them
I definitely participated in featurism at one point, and that small-mindedness was partially due to the environment I was raised in. I was ignorant, and bitter to my own kind. I needed to grow up.
"Attraction can't be forced, but it can definitely be manipulated."
It took extremes to provide the foundation for reshaping my outlook on people in this way, but the time spent learning about where these things come from allowed me to stop it in it's tracks.
Say it again Brotha "Attraction can't be forced, but it definitely can be manipulated" 👏👏👏 Dropping Bars 🔥🔥🔥
Love your honesty
Thankyou so much !! I know it’s not a preference thing anymore, when men say it .. I think it’s they are manipulated and it’s society’s fault.
@@lovesong4084 it is a preference yho
@Melvin Skdkj u must prefer light skin or white or light Latino women .. well that’s fine ! I hope none of your beautiful mixed children never 👎 bring home a dark man or woman. I hope u not
Being colorist to them because just bec u want to ex that part u can’t stop the kids from loving black. Bye now
“African-a Grande” “Ain’t you from Detroit” Girl Tee killing me with these jokes. Haha 😂 But fr I love your content bc it’s always eye opening and I feel like I shoulda been taught this shit in schooooool. Thank you Tee!
I absolutely perished at the new Miss Grande! Guuurrl!!!
I cackled 😂
It should be a CLASS
The way she's tanning her skin she really is fighting for that stage name.
I think one of my favorite things about your videos is the language you use. Understanding the nuance of context and acknowledging your perception and lens is a learned skill that many people, myself included, need to improve upon.
Yesss! This is why I’m subscribed. It’s so rare to find that on UA-cam and Tee inspires me to be a nuanced, compassionate thinker
I’m surprised you didn’t mention Ari’s nose! She was mocked endlessly for her “Black” nose and she addressed it a few times.
Jt as well, she ended up getting a nose job
Then she went and did a song with fricken Queen Naija who is a colourist.
@@missmaam3765 wait are you sure you’re not talking abt summer walker?
@@missmaam3765 doesn’t look like a nose job tbh. Not sure what y’all on but it looks the same before and after but oki.
@@missmaam3765 lies . No she didn’t that was summer walker.
Your eloquence bleeds off onto me, I feel so smart after watching you ❤️
You're too sweet
When I was younger I quickly realised that black women had to be incredibly beautiful/ “exotic” looking to get any sort of respect (can’t think of a better word to use right now), whereas other races of women are allowed to be average. For years I couldn’t put it in to words until fairly recently and I’m in my late 20s.
Respect where? Online, men ? When you get a mortgage or credit pulled nobody cares about how beautiful you are. There’s more to life than looks.
@fiery but mostly peaceful I think it has to do with most people only being able to see this issue (which is actually universal) through the lenses of their culture and perspective. Every race and ethnic group has their version of the "average" woman, who gets looked over and/or compared to women considered more beautiful, and the average women are usually the majority of women in that group. There's definitely an element to it with idolizing certain body parts and features that are associated with one race or another, but on the whole, this is a universal problem. Maybe for black women we deal with it more publicly and regularly than others, but not necessarily to a higher degree🤔
@fiery but mostly peaceful I’m certain you can throw that brown hair up in a “messy bun” and go out in public and no one judges you…
Facts
Any woman who rolls out of bed and goes to a store runs the risk of being judged or at least FEELING judged by the stingy old lady it happens to us all so stop judging and making assumptions and judging what others may think they don't matter like your happiness should matter
Girl it was OTHER BLACK PEOPLE calling those women ugly.
Congratulations, here's a cookie 🍪
I don’t feel like they let black women be soft and feminine either. City girls looked so much softer in the before comparison. The standard of beauty is pretty and glamorous, but it’s not a soft/delicate look. Some of the most beautiful black women I’ve seen have been in the natural no make up zone.
You’re in a black space and I want to know why?
@@search4omniscience Don't start that bullshit, you'll stand on your own with a mindset like that!
@@search4omniscience how else are they gonna learn about how we think if it isnt coming directly from us?
@@prettyxbonez96 cool but explain why you feel the way you do
@@zalaiyas why do they need to “learn”?
As an average looking black woman I'm looking forward to this!
If you only like black women when they look a certain way (thick, fat bum, big boobs, snatched waist, big lips, long natural hair etc) then you don't really like black women, you only like the ones that attract you✋
Don't say "Let's uplift black women" but then only represent and show respect to the "pretty" and standarderized ones. If you cannot accept the fact that black women all come in different tones, shapes and sizes, you do not like black women period🤦♀️
Nah, you tweakin.
@@shadowgoon911 lol stfu🤦♀️🙄 what tf u mean i'm tweakin???? Nah YOU tweakin
@@shadowgoon911 she is though
Ooh I love this big facts just like everyone says they love bbw but only pear or hourglass one you on point not tweaking
💯
I definitely think “average” looking women are overlooked. Sadly
“A black woman in the ordinary” … my new favorite quote 👏🏾
Needs a shirt
I'm about to quote that all damn day ❤
exotification happens in the latinx community too😭 my sister has been fetishized multiple times for her “asian” eyes and “black” lips and body, even though as far as we know we don’t have close asian or black ancestors . It’s really disgusting, why can’t we just exist within our own ethnicity without being fetishized?
A lot of Latinos have “Asian” features because of indigenous ancestry. Indigenous Americans and East Asians are closely related .
@K C yes, they're called epicanthic folds I believe and they can even be found in some Swedes and other Northern Europeans. So whether you're Asian, Black, Latina, white, anyone can have them.
@@alicesenz6374 they are called monolids, and they are mostly prevalent on east and south east asian people, indigenous people have them too because they are relatives to them, african people CAN have monolids too, but they are not as prevalent as what people in this comment section pretend, white people can't have them unless they have some asian or indigenous ancestry
@@yourfavoritevisual8917 Is there some sort of infection going around in this comment section? You and another commentator refuse to fully acknowledge monolids are traits black people around the globe possess because it isn't "common". What is the problem with simply stating black people possess monolids? Is it too much of an exotic feature that couldn't possibly belong to black people?
@@yourfavoritevisual8917 no, some Swedes have them.
Whew chile, the validation I feel…
I, a black girl in the ordinary, always got praised for having long hair. From as young as 9, I knew my hair was the one thing standing between me, and social irrelevance. 😢
Not social irrelevance!! But yes omg, my hair length was also fixated on as a child and maybe that played a role in me chopping it off. Cheers to feeling validated 🥂
Same for me but it was my eyes I have hazel eyes and when they use to appear to be darker I got sad and I never understood why until now. I was afraid of being considered “regular”.
Tysm for this comment. I was always grateful for my hair (and not because I loved myself or anything) but because it's always been long and I even had an obese yt girl tell me I wasn't like other black girls because my hair was long and I was absolutely over the moon when she told me that. Shameless😖😧💔 now I understand why
@@rorymarcel228 listen…I %100 understand! I had to cut my hair in a Bob from breakage at 17 and I was DEVASTATED! It was sooo much a part my identity just like your eyes. Whew… TRAUMA!
@@benita8856 girl, I’m right here with you. We ALL have accepted a back handed compliment before! That’s how much self esteem is really tied to the opinions of others. Society needs to stop pretending like self esteem is something you gain by pulling yourself up by your bootstraps…LIES!
Feauturism was an issue brought to my attention a few years back within the art community. Artists who only drew a certain kind of person - primarily a white person - would try to draw a black person or an Asian person, and you could tell they had no references or didn’t care to adapt the facial structure to the ethnicity. I would see other artists pointing this out, as you could clearly tell they drew big eyes, small nose, and primarily Eurocentric features and just slapped a brown skin tone on the character. They would say to be more aware whenever you draw an ethnicity you’re not used to, because it could either look like the aforementioned result or a caricature.
The issue is rooted in the fact that many white artists think that white features are just the “default,” perpetuating racist ideology that only white is beautiful or accepted. I wasn’t even aware of this until I got into high school and started looking beyond the scope of whiteness in my work, becoming more aware of the diversity in this world. I begin familiarizing myself with different features, ethnicities, skin tones, and hair types not just to diversify my work, but to be more aware and informed.
I wanted to reassure you that people recognizing featurism isn’t quite brand new. A lot of artists are aware of it and have at least been aware of it for the last five years. It’s an incredibly damaging phenomenon that I remain cognizant about in my own work and the work around me - and as a white artist, I hope I can combat that phenomenon by remaining so and educating others on it.
Well said! This was something I had to change myself as an artist
Are you talking about artists in Japan? What about malasian artist? Lol you're a whole fool my guy. Do yourself a favor, pick up some books and start reading.
As an extremely white person who lives outside the US I just want to say that I love Tee and Khadija and others for letting me learn about this side of the society we live in. I might never have gotten to even hear about these ideas without them, almost certainly would never have started to understand them. We all contribute to the interconnected society we collectively live in thanks to global pop culture and the internet, and we can only make it better by understanding it from as many angles as possible.
That’s super cool that you watch them and learn more about different cultural and societal issues through them!! It helps widen horizons for sure
"She's so articulate!"
Khadija and Tee are my go to people for stuff like thisss yess
@@جميل-شكرا ????
@@جميل-شكرا I see you
The way they presented Kristen Stuart in twilight never screamed feme fatal or even I take showers everyday (I’m not say doesn’t take showers everyday 🙄…in fact I find her very beautiful I’m just describing the way she was presented in the movie).She was clearly the average tomboy awkward new girl…who was desired by someone who was seemingly “out of her league” …a relatable and somewhat refreshing character trope that a black girl could never play without judgment. “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is a very true quote but is not a truth that black women and girls are allowed to indulge in without being accused of things such as misrepresentation, fetishizion, unrealistic standards, to good to be true, or just flat out called ugly.While non-women of color are fragile, shy girls, “not like other girls” girls, misunderstood, mIsTeRiOuS, or are believed to have unique, relatable, nerdy, or quirky beauty.Even when there’s little to no energy given for us to believe these things about this character…or just no energy from this character whatsoever.
If you read the book she was not supposed to be femme fatale. She was awkward and normal looking etc so she fit the bill.
Now why did you just spit bars like that? 😮😭
@Cutelike Dolphins you don't see how the much higher beauty standard for black women and dark skinned black women puts the stress of ALWAYS looking done up and hyper feminine on them and is damaging to those that fit the beauty standard and especially for this who don't? Did you not watch the video?
Such a great point. The more dehumanized the group, the more they have to compete to be treated with the same level of respect/admiration. Twilight definitely wouldn't have had the same appeal if the protagonist was an average looking black girl.
@@brennam954 Yup, test audiences would have said how ridiculous it is that a man like that actor would ever feel that way towards a black woman, unless she was Beyoncé. And then they would have replaced her with Zendaya and suddenly the audience can relate, chill, and put the pitchforks down lol.
The bar for black women is SO high 🙄
White and most other non-black women are given this unspoken pass to be their true, authentic, basic selves and still be deemed attractive, "hot," and pursued by men like trophies. Yet, black women are deemed average or below when in their natural, plain-jane states! It's like whiteness is the beauty standard - skin tone and features - and anything to the contrary that dare be seen as attractive as well must be exceptionally, undeniably gorgeous. I've literally seen the most basic of white women turn heads, while dark-skinned beauties were passed up. It's sadly a beauty standard thing.
@Cutelike Dolphins well no but she's saying that subconsciously were all still in 1990 were youcan do nothing and be seen as hot White
Not we always been the most desired before slavery after and now…everything comes from us can only imitate us😘no one knew what beauty was until us colored expressed it🥰we the innovators. Periodt‼️💅🏽don’t u ever forget it sis🤧
@@littleleah310 Exactly.
@Too many ice-cream bars, now brain ouchy🤕 damn that hurts right in my wdgaf bone 😕
Absolutely agree, especially when colourism is so prevalent in EVERY RACE. However, I don't think it's fair to say that non-black women are allowed to be basic selves and be hot, because it's just not true at all - I think every woman who isn't POC is given a certain set of standards designed solely to play to stereotypes and go against their natural bodies and features, and every single one is expected to adhere to white beauty standards if that makes any sense.
Going nuts over a baby's features is wild. Blaming the mom is another level💀
It’s definitely a tough conversation but needed. Your lived personal experience is just as valid as a Works Cited page of sources. Can’t wait for part 2!
You’ve hit the nail on the head. You have articulated something I’ve been thinking about a lot, particularly as it pertains to black women in media. These white and other non black woc get to be beautiful, sexy, desirable in many forms of media without doing much to their appearance. However if a black woman is a love interest in a show or film, they are ethereally beautiful and well dressed vixens almost. Black women are beautiful but there is so much pressure to be exceptionally beautiful *especially* as a dark skinned woman.
i was just thinking about how majority of black women dont look like who is hyped on social media, but majority of white women do, and i was wondering if it was valid to be intriqued about that disconnect, so seeing this notification made me super excited!!
You're not right about the white women part...
@@henrdnemdj5271 what is "overweight" did you do a bmi on all black women? We are naturally heavier than yt women but that doesn't mean we are overweight. That is how we were made and it's european standard that makes you think we all should be thin.
@@nherty6172 no you guys are not black women are not naturally heavier than white Women that’s just an excuse
as a white person, white women represented in media are closer to reality than black women represented, but the majority of white people don't look the same as in the media. usually, the ones in media have this certain face shape, and they often look mediterranean or racially ambiguous (either that or super light hair and eyes).
i remember clearly the first time seeing someone who looked more like me in media and feeling really weirded out and represented at the same time. i've rarely seen people who look like me since.
For me it’s not even about looks. One thing about white women on social media, it’s ok for them to do everyday relatable stuff. Just white people white peopleling. But as a black women online, you have to go through hoops and will only get the views if posting aspirational content, beauty content alienating many young black impressionable women who are just everyday people
As a mixed woman, this video was insightful. I didn’t grow up knowing about my black father - I was raised white. Something was off though and white people definitely did NOT think I was white. And black people could see the black in me. Now that DNA testing has confirmed that my parents hid my racial background, I have been trying to learn more about what it means to be a black woman. A lot of my friends are black women and tell me that black is a big category. At the same time, I want to truly understand what being black means. While the blackness that made me feel I wasn’t white well before I knew I actually wasn’t white has shaped my life experience, the whiteness in me has created white adjacency and I cannot come out there claiming my blackness either without recognizing that there is also privilege in being mixed. White adjacency is real - while I wasn’t adjacent enough to be accepted as white, I have to be careful about how my presence can be a way of promoting diversity in a way that makes people comfortable. I was well aware that the “white woman” as examples of diversity do this, but I hadn’t thought about mixed women or more Eurocentric women doing the same.
I'm glad you acknowledge that you are a beautiful mixture of both races and you can't truly promote yourself as black. It hurts true black women when biracial women do that. Good luck on your journey.
don't follow this line of thinking hook, line & sinker. you ARE a *true* black woman. You are 100% both races and can say that you are black. You can also say you are white. and don't spend your whole life trying to appease racist whites or colorist blacks. you owe them nothing. discover yourself. love yourself. you're perfect as you are.
@@marie-francoiset9402 She’s mixed and that’s ok, she’s not more than one.
@@vegannn7178 never said her being mixed was not ok. not sure where you're getting that. what i said is that she *can* say she is black. because she is. If one parent is white, she can also claim being white. Regardless of what the wypipo around her say. Anything other than that is buying into the essentialist *pure* race concept which doesn't exist in reality. There's no pure white or black race, especially if she is in the US or brazil. or the Caribbean, or or or...
@@vegannn7178 before i say anything else, why is that it seems easier for one who is mixed (black/white) to say “they’re black” for example rather than “white”? No matter what, there’s definitely going to be ppl who don’t bat an eye when said mix says “I’m black”-but a completely different story if they said they’re white.
Ive asked before, and the only answer I’ve gotten is “once you got black in u, ur black”😭
And another question(s).
Why wouldn’t you be able to identify as both, or at least one to _some extent_ ? The extent being you recognize yourself that you’re not full blooded (“true” black woman sounds weird asf, ngl), but the point of being mixed is that you are more than just one thing. How should “mixed” be viewed? A fusion of 2? Or “2 in one” (heterogenous, not homogeneous). Is this why some prefer “biracial”? Because “mixed” promotes the idea of a mixture= something new? Biracial just being 2 things, not one?
Why would privilege etc define whether or not you can “claim ur blackness”? Is black _only_ an experience now? Where to be black, you have to experience similar things (regarding privilege etc)?
“AFRICANA GRANDE”
You just threw that whole tree🤣🤣 it’s not even shade no more.
Yes, indeed; the whole tree! :D
I am slightly jealous of African women having this kind of conversation. Thinking this ish through and deconstructing all tools of oppression that try to convince them they are ugly. In Africa, when women start to have this conversation....whew....the pain and denial!! Coz for women in Africa it's a mess of colorism and featurism all propped and instigated by Tribalism, colonialism and down right ignorance. This video gave me loads to think about...Thank you!
Right, its like you are delusional to even mention it, like you are crazy to think about it
Someone finally said it! Nobody would even listen to you when you are an African woman living in Africa talking about colorism etc
A fish doesn't know what water is.
Being surrounded by men and women who come from your womb but do nothing to uplift your image mustn't help. The pain of the ADOS experience also bestowed the persistent European gaze. Questioning the nature of their blkness is native to them.
Colourism is real here in Africa, the skin lightening market is very huge. Very sad
Very interesting take I didn't think this conversation would affect native Africans in this manner, as a black American I appreciate your input to this topic. Gave me something to really think about
Thinking about Analise's stripped down look when she took off her wig in HTGAWM. It was presented as a brave and iconic scene.. It would have been a a real breakthrough for black women onscreen if she would have proudly worn her natural hair in the public outside and in the professional world. The same makeup could have been put on her face.
Viola Davis touched on this when season 6 premiered. she started wearing her natural hair more and more until she didn’t wear wigs at all to symbolize Annalise’s evolution as a (professional) Black woman
She did wear her natural hair especially on the red carpet
Not black, but I am a brown indigenous person and I do see many of these issues with Indigenous women too. Indigenous women who are praised in the media (when they are), are usually the standard of *western* and *white* beauty, something that you don't see if you actually go visit actual indigenous tribes. All indigenous people are beautiful, but society forgets those who don't fit into the white western standard.
They count on people forgetting the Dawes Act and "$5 Indians"
So like Hollywood made Woppie Goldberg “ugly” by media standard 😭😪she was never ugly lol she’s a beautiful black woman and has an amazing career but never in the media for her beauty …
Exactly i never found whoopi goldberg to be ugly
omg i’ve always thought she was beautiful.
@@nileriver1632 I first saw Whoopi in the Color Purple and thought she was a cutie
I never found her ugly but not beautiful either. She's unique, in her own incomparable lane.
As a man respectfully, I never found her attractive. Beauty is something some people have and others don't. Like some people have athleticism and some don't
as a black woman in the ordinary, thank you for preaching this gospel 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
I'm here for the personal experiences. Being black in Europe is somewhat different than it is in America so to me, as a black trans guy from Europe, your experience and that of other black creators such as Kat Blaque or Khadija Mbowe is just as valuable as scientific resources.
I know das right, I love them!
@@TeeNoir As a Black European woman myself, the issues many of Black women in America are confronted with….are what Black European women face as well. I really
Love your videos and thank you for giving us your takes. It goes to show that there is no one Black experience…but that there are so many similarities regardless of where you are from
Yes you are right. Very interesting to see the differences but also the similarities
I get so excited when I see that there's like a legit community of people watching all the same black female UA-camrs just strutting their intellect lol
OMG we move in the same circles😃
this reminds me of that one post that was circulating awhile ago abt rihanna. on the left was a picture before her fame. she wasn’t dolled up and had regular everyday clothes on. on the right was a more recent photo of her. makeup done, hair done, outfit is more formal etc. the caption always said the same thing: “you’re not ugly, just broke.” that mentality plays into the idea that glamorized black women are desirable while black women in the ordinary aren’t. very informative video, tee!
This is crazy. I am literally taking a break from a reading I have to do for my Black-women-focused class and this video greatly aligns with the journal I'm reading. You use the terminology and all. Thank you so so much bc this is furthering my understanding of the reading.
This just makes me want scream, Let black people be ordinary 2021! why is it that black is only acceptable when it is palatable and fits into Eurocentric standards?!
Who says that tbh? Attractive black people have Eurocentric features now?
Yes, ordinary
Ohhhhhh
I saw you in the kennie JD comment section, good tastesss
Also yes
@@WhyfallinLUVwhenUcanfallasleep she is a queen this one. Check out her channel she also drops some gems on her page
I see white and black women as being so physically different, that it's pointless for black women to try to look like white women. Black women need to just "do their own thing."
Omg I love you Tee! You’ve helped open my eyes to things I’d never even considered. Out here doing important work, keep it up ❤️
So sweet, thank you a bunch 💖
You are so well spoken it’s soothing. Your eloquence, your tone, your voice it’s just everything.
my mother tongue is not english, so the "black women in the ordinary" was hard to understand, but when you brought iy back in context, it made so much sense. I really like your video and they are so well explained!!
Finally she's back💜💜💜😭😭😭😭
Ayo fellow swiftie
I was thinking about how long it's been since she had uploaded yesterday and I get blessed with a video today.
This s generational. I am 41 years old...I have two daughters--one who looks JUST like me "regular" black girl and my little one is slightly more ambiguous because her father is half white. I am blessed as hell to be raised in a family of black women who celebrated womanhood in all its many facets where they prioritized the safety and protections of young black femmes in our family. Sisterhood is BIG with us. However, the rest of the world sees things differently and recently I've had to navigate certain convos with my daughters about colorism and such--whereas it wasn't an issue in our family, it's something they have dealt with outside of this unit. I have 2 girls--my oldest is 13 and my youngest is 10 going on 11. We very much discuss light skin privilege and have done so since the were much smaller. I am just so glad black women of the younger generation are having these discussions. Your whole channel is just giving me life, honestly. Keep the content coming--you're doing beautifully!
What you said about attraction being manipulated reminds me of the “fat girl” trope in movies and how it really puts down plus size women. The fact that they can never be the main protagonists and have to be the laughing stock to even be a part of these movies is absolutely demeaning.
Smh fat dudes aren’t praised each either that’s not what most men or women desire. We desire healthy and fit bodies, not to say every man or women who’s plus size is not healthy, I’m just saying majority.
@That's My Style Fatphobia isn't a thing
@That's My Style fat people can eat whatever they want, I really don't care, but if you're going to eat tons of food without remorse and not exercise so you don't gain weight; that consequence is on you. The world isn't 'fatphobic', you just have to take accountability for your actions.
@That's My Style No one is scared of “fat people”. yall fat people just seem to make up excuses and ways to blame anyone else except yall. yall are so self-centered. fat people can eat as much as they want,but It's unfair to hold society or others accountable for something you're responsible for. Stop blaming others for the consequences of your actions.
@That's My Style I'm not gonna even argue with you
Tee, your ability to lay these topics out in such an articulate way is so impressive! You’ve summarized things I’ve felt my entire life but couldn’t adequately explain. You even put names to phenomena that I’ve experienced without even knowing it was a “thing”. Thank you thank you thank you for doing what you do
I will never forgot one day I opened tik tok and there was an average plus black woman crying, asking “pretty girls” how does it feel to be pretty? It broke my heart, but what hurt more was black women telling her to get a weave and some eyelashes and she will be desirable to men. Why do black women feel like Eurocentric beauty classifies you as more desirable, than simply being an ordinary bw with natural hair and little to no makeup. We also can’t talk about black beauty without referencing the difference between being “hood pretty” and just an ordinary pretty a black woman. To be hood pretty you have to be curvy (preferably slim thick), makeup always on 10, long BONE straight hair or weave, and outspoken- think JT or Nicki Minaj. Most black folks prefer the first one, but don’t realize how extremely unrealistic it is to look that way all the time. I love being an ordinary bw, even tho it separate me from the collective of blk ppl; because ITs me, and nobody else can be me. Ordinary black women, there is nothing wrong with being ordinary!!!
*Controversial take in terms of beauty/ attractiveness.*
Firstly women have value outside their looks eg intelligence, kindness, ingenuity, talent, strength, creativity, sense of humour etc. However I'm discussing looks / beauty/ desire here.
No matter how much other women say X is pretty, women's opinions have less value than a man (unless you are a lesbian). If you are a straight women and only women say youre attractive, it won't help you be romantically happy.
Black women's beauty gets praised 80% by....other black women. Not even as much by black men.
Secondly surely if men don't desire you then a woman's attractiveness has to be questioned? Even in many majority black African countries, as soon as a young fairly attractive blonde women appears, all bets are off....You can't use the Eurocentric beauty standards excuse as in Jamaica middle aged white women attract more (young) men than local black women.
Eyelashes aren’t Eurocentric
Facts
@@michelleannor6944 Based on your comment history, you’re obsessed with going on Black women’s videos, giving condescending “advice” and putting down Black women. Are you even a Black woman or a bigot with a fetish?
@@AdeolaAsh I think they are. We are mimicking a look that a lot of black women don’t naturally have. Most black women I see have stubby short lashes naturally & curly ones.. I don’t think we are the only ones who are mimicking a look.
Black women always have to be the ones to compensate for being black. As poppin as we are, we don't always have to be embellished.
Facts!!