‘At Your Home’ (Podcast) | Episode 2: Dating in Korea 🇰🇷 | The Struggles 🤯

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  • Опубліковано 29 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 73

  • @primomcmxcv
    @primomcmxcv 20 днів тому +3

    your voice is soothing, music to my ears.

  • @joekerrvatsi188
    @joekerrvatsi188 20 днів тому +3

    I found this channel when you commented on ryan bang's yt channel but i know you since you won miss earth and i love hearing you talk. More of these sit down talking vids please.

  • @thewanderer4162
    @thewanderer4162 23 дні тому +3

    As someone who has encountered korean international students who study in my country i did have the same difficulties despite the fact they know english and i know a bit of korean and speak english fluently.
    I only made 1 korean friend and it was online.
    But from my experience koreans are more easy to talk to than japanese students.
    What helps me the most is that i know korea beyond hallyu and that effort makes conversations easier.
    Ps:i didn't travel to south korea yet.

  • @nehiniz
    @nehiniz 27 днів тому +4

    I like discussions like this~It's a little unexpected that you brought up this topic but it's very relatable:)

  • @OutofOffice96
    @OutofOffice96 25 днів тому +2

    big fan of these podcasts already!

  • @uknowyeaji
    @uknowyeaji 26 днів тому +1

    You deserve the best Mina!!!!❤️❤️ Always here for you love❤️❤️

  • @xsnipe7461
    @xsnipe7461 День тому +1

    Wow, I can listen to you all day. So, so attractive.

  • @jjstarrprod
    @jjstarrprod 21 день тому +2

    Hi Mina.
    First time I stumble upon one of your vid, so I'm discovering you, but I feel like everything you said about Korean men's expectations of you needing to be telepathic to their actions and what they like is hilarious, coz I feel like it's the exact same complaint men would have about women in the US, where it's the women who are saying communication is important... but wishing for men to read their minds while not saying a thing about how or what she feels !
    And even though I'm not Korean, I can 100% relate.
    My situation is fairly similar than yours, but in Taiwan. I'm full blooded Taiwanese (both my parents are Taiwanese, although they were born and grew up in China), and I was born in France and grew up in Belgium. Its only after my graduation there at 27 that I decided to come "back" to Taiwan, where I spent the past 15 years. To make matters even worse, my master was in animation, so I'm an artist.
    And spoiler alert, in all these 15 years here, I could never find a Taiwanese date to save my life. The culture shock is just too deep. Even though I'm supposed to be the same ethnicity than them, I grew up in Europe, and spent almost 30 years there. You can't just flick a switch and all of a sudden grow a local Taiwanese in you, these things not only take time, but also friends, love, and knowledge of the popculture, the popular songs, movies, slangs, the societal norms, the politics...etc...
    As a result, I could never date a Taiwanese girl (ok, I lied, of all the 15 years, I could date 2... And I don't consider myself an ugly guy). I was either too foreign for local girls, or not foreign (read, white) enough for girls who were more open, minded and curious, and wanted to try some more exotic cuisine. I basically flew below everybody's radar. The only girls I could date were french girls who were here for a short while.
    And forget about dating, I couldn't even get an actual local Taiwanese friend (and it's not for lack of trying. Despites being an introvert at heart, I can be a big social butterfly and loved to hang out with a lot of artists circles, be it musicians or actors, etc...) ! All my friends are ABCs like me, or foreign expats, 2/3rd of which have already left the island over the years, so it's constantly a game of cats and mouse in "who's gonna be my next best friend who's gonna leave in 6 months ?" so at some point, I just stopped looking for friends anymore, and just hung out with the few ABCs and expats I knew from a decade ago, the rare who stayed and made Taiwan their home. Now, I just live with my old and sick mom, on top of a mountain, being basically just a hermit.
    The reason why I never found love here ? I'm guessing it's the same reason you won't either in S.Korea.
    As a botanist would say, you can plant all the seeds you want all over the world, you can't quite make an orchid grow in a desert.
    Nor a cactus grow in a jungle.
    Taiwan and S.Korea are both East Asian countries, one of the most conservative places in the world. Drop a 3rd culture kid in there and see how oil can mix with water.
    So just spare you the pain I've been through (although I'm actually perfectly fine being alone. There's a difference between alone and lonely, and I've actaully always preferred being single, which to me, is freedom and peace). If you want to find love, either leave and go back to a country where there's an actual diversity of people. OR, try to stick with international students, work, or random groups (artists, book readings, churches if you're Christian, I'm not but hey, to each their own) environments (but even that is not guarantee for finding someone). OR, 3rd option (the hardest one), dive deep into the country's culture to blend in, at the expense of who you think you are. That's the one thing I could never do, but I guess it's the most efficient one, trying to fit the mould, so that you smooth some of the corners that could lead to friction with local people ? That would probably take a few years, and by the time you manage it, you might already be well in your 30ies and not be in the dating market anymore (that's one of the reasons why I didn't bother trying. Also, I like who I am and my parkour, and I wouldn't exchange it just to get laid)...
    Either way, good luck.
    You look like a great person, with a good head on your shoulders, and you're super pretty, which certainly helps.
    You might have better luck than I did.

  • @AlexiaInbloom
    @AlexiaInbloom 14 днів тому

    I don’t think it is simply a language thing, there are cultural things getting lost in the mix. It will a good amount of understanding and compromising on both sides.

  • @MZBULLA
    @MZBULLA 24 дні тому

    Your struggles really do present during the video, even speaking about it, you looked a-bit awkward and also yet to fully work out why the dating experience is a struggle. Great video, these type of videos just comes across genuine and honest. Waiting for your next vid!

  • @Garry-wv5to
    @Garry-wv5to 27 днів тому +5

    I'm on your side Mina. It's better to be open and communicate vocally what you want or what you feel rather than let your partner study your actions and read between the lines. This is very important especially if you have been dating for just weeks or months, when you still don't know each other so well. But I guess most Asians aren't very vocal or verbally expressive. 😄

  • @lifeofjulie_han
    @lifeofjulie_han 25 днів тому +6

    I grew up fully in Korea. I’m not a third culture kid, but I understand how you feel. Looking back at 25, I didn’t know what I really wanted and who I was exactly. But trust me, you’ll figure it out with time. You’re smart, but like everyone else, there’s probably something missing that you’ll need to find to feel complete. You’ll find what you’re looking for in a relationship that truly sees you for who you are and fills that gap. I’ve always supported you, and I always will🤍

  • @hl0984
    @hl0984 25 днів тому

    As a third culture kid living in Korea, I can surely relate to this. I have really struggled to blend in and assimilate in people, society, workplace,
    but I was fortunate enough to have old time friends who moved back to korea and got to meet new international friends with similar backgrounds. Im not saying to dump all your friends, but sometimes changing up your environment and social circle can really help.
    Im a dude in my late-30s btw, so my experience wouldn't be the same 😅 I had my fair share when it comes to dating.
    There's nothing wrong abt short term relationships, I've been there, you will get more clear insight to find the right person for you

  • @Tony.Capuchino
    @Tony.Capuchino 14 днів тому

    Being an adult is expressing what one needs and expects in an effective manner. You could be more attentive but the question is also what kind of men have you been looking for? At my old age you come to realize the people and problems you face are just a reflection of yourself

  • @jhetrance
    @jhetrance 24 дні тому +2

    Nothing is wrong with you and every single one of us is unique and beautiful on our own. 😊

  • @kentlanticse2483
    @kentlanticse2483 21 день тому

    I have a different dialect here in the Philippines and saying I love you in our national language is so cringe. A lot of people can relate to you. 😂

  • @Hustlelife1199
    @Hustlelife1199 24 дні тому +1

    You should do a Q&A session for episode 5!

  • @hicksnumber89
    @hicksnumber89 25 днів тому +2

    눈치 was brought up a lot in my past relationship.... 왜 눈치 없어?? Was a common phrase 😂😅😅😅 the idea of not communicating what is needed is a bit wild imo. It is what it is 😎🤙

  • @waterflowzz
    @waterflowzz 24 дні тому +2

    You’re not “wrong”. It’s just cultural differences. I find at times that Koreans aren’t the best communicators because they rely on “mind reading” to communicate instead of saying things directly. I think it has a lot to do with their romantic fantasy of how if someone loves you that person should be able to “read your mind”. Much of it has to do with the 눈치 culture but it also has a lot to do with the fantasy world of kdramas and having to meet their soulmate that can “understand” and “read” (in a psychic way) everything about their soulmates. It’s kind of interesting in a sense because in certain aspects of society people are forced to face the realities of life with face value but at times they are left to live in this fantasy world when it comes to personal relationships. But yeah there’s nothing wrong with you, it’s just that you happen to be from polar opposite cultures in terms of where you grew up.

  • @heyyernie
    @heyyernie 23 дні тому

    I totally relate with everything you said

  • @AshleyChoi-l3y
    @AshleyChoi-l3y 23 дні тому

    As Korean American, this is very very true. My friends from Korea have different expectations of men (read my mind perspective) whereas I prefer more direct answers. It seems very cultural.
    As a generic example, in America, when a girl says no (but likes the guy), then no matter what, the answer is no. But in Korea, if a girl says no (but she still likes the guy), then the guy should try harder to get her to say yes. You can see this even in Korean dramas, where its "romantic" for a guy to keep chasing a girl even if she isn't interested. Though TV isn't real, you can how values and mannerisms are reflected from real life.

  • @TheNiklas55
    @TheNiklas55 25 днів тому +2

    As a short guy gave up dating anyway

  • @Cygx
    @Cygx 26 днів тому

    It’s true across Japanese Korean culture that they have very well developed social cues

  • @elle38131
    @elle38131 22 дні тому

    Just finished your video with Ryan Bang!! Hiiii Minaaa

  • @jennifervaughn1541
    @jennifervaughn1541 20 днів тому

    I hear that a lot about South Korea that you have to read their mind but how can they really expect that?

  • @justinching1988
    @justinching1988 20 днів тому

    Hi Mina, I just Subscribed you after watching Ryan Bang youtube channel. it was nice to watch you and ryan bang. :)

  • @mmaneage86
    @mmaneage86 23 дні тому +1

    Dang. I lived in Korea for 10 years. Growing up with an Italian heritage-well, we're a very direct people. I could never grasp the indirectness or the ghosting when it came to relationships. Listening to what you're saying (as a guy) I can say that I also thought, "it must be me"- which can be very soul crushing. Though I believe that everyone has areas to grow , that way of thinking (when it comes to this situation) can lead to bitterness and a poor self image. I think that because you have a blend of western and eastern cultural values , that you shouldn't beat yourself up if you feel like you can't make things work within a certain system. I can say that the korean spouses of my western friends usually were comfortable with expressing themselves in English- which also makes them way more blunt lol. So though they still had cultural hurdles to overcome along with typical marriage stuff, that core aspect of being able to communicate with each other wasn't out of sync.

  • @Danieltheshin
    @Danieltheshin 24 дні тому

    Don’t fret, it took me a LOT of dates with diff people (20+) to eventually find my wife 😂. Don’t force it and be yourself. You’re still super young! I only studied abroad in Korea but I’m a Korean American guy and also have hard time being expressive, so you remind me of my wife who constantly reminds me to COMMUNICATE!! 😂

  • @core_corea
    @core_corea 26 днів тому

    I agreed even I am Korean. 😂

  • @BadzBahista
    @BadzBahista 24 дні тому

    Ryan Bang's vlog brought me here. More vlog please Especially in The Philippines.

  • @MarkNavarro-g2g
    @MarkNavarro-g2g 22 дні тому

    Hello Mina! I'm your fan from Manila. Hoping you'd do more vlogs! The longer the content the better 😊

  • @chaek1702
    @chaek1702 27 днів тому +1

    GIRL i can relate to you on a spiritual level - I was born in korea but grew up in an international background, came back home since covid and wow i can never date born and raised korean guys. its just the culture and the background, & the way i think is so different? Im also very different when i speak Korean - Im much more 무뚝뚝하고 차갑고? in korean and YES its cringe too😂 but its so hard to find someone with a similar background!! gorl im with ya

    • @PurpleDoritos666
      @PurpleDoritos666 24 дні тому

      Asian girl who doesn’t like dating Asian guys. That’s nothing new lol

  • @jbsanimaltoys2716
    @jbsanimaltoys2716 21 день тому

    Please interview Karen Ibasco

  • @leeroyjenkins867
    @leeroyjenkins867 14 днів тому

    When hearing your story, did you firstly establish your communication style? I.e: "I prefer people to tell me their feelings openly and bluntly"?
    Otherwise he might not have known that thats what you like/prefer. He's also not a mindreader. I understand perspective though, clear communication is absolutely important, but perhaps from his perspective there are some things which would "kill" the chemistry/romance if it was explicitly said.
    That said, I've only just heard a very very very small portion of one incident so of course i won't have the full context (prior experiences between you two) and only heard one side

    • @leeroyjenkins867
      @leeroyjenkins867 14 днів тому

      I'm not defending either side but playing devils advocate

  • @DianaLBlue
    @DianaLBlue 13 днів тому

    You still have hope! I am a Western woman and I have seen Koreans marry foreigners who are also Westerners, so how can you not find a good man who will love you? I think it would be good to establish a lasting friendship to see which man is really worth it and loves you just the way you are (obviously making some kind of change, since there are very different habits between ways of acting and thinking between different cultures). Ask to God a men that you want, he can give to you!

  • @tetsuk2
    @tetsuk2 25 днів тому +2

    I can see where this is coming from. You are ranting about a reality that won't change. The response from the guys you dated sounds perfectly standard, and not wrong from their perspective. Similarly, your experience is also perfectly fine. Being multi-cultural myself and having had these conversations with lots of people over the years, I can see where the contention is, and I can already tell you, it's not going away. Korean dating culture is what it is. Still, it doesn't mean there won't be a person there that will fit you. However, it can't be someone who is not truly open to conversing in English and love in a non-traditionally-Korean way, if that is not who you are. Dating across cultures is extra work, for both parties. Being blunt has been a cop-out for me in the past. I hope that is not the case for you. Watch out for playing the Korean role, 'cause I have seen many get burnt badly that way and I don't wish that on anyone, and good luck on your journey!

  • @Garry-wv5to
    @Garry-wv5to 27 днів тому

    Having taught many young adult Koreans, I've learned many things from them, including dating. Koreans celebrate not only Valentines but also white day and black day. And Christmas in Korea is about dating, which is very different from the Philippines because Christmas there is all about being with family. 😄

  • @medog9039
    @medog9039 26 днів тому

    ❤❤❤

  • @AdamUcastro
    @AdamUcastro 19 днів тому

    Hi maam your so pretty... New followers here and subscriber from Philippines

  • @mclovin6537
    @mclovin6537 22 дні тому

    I don’t think it’s being a mind reader, the longer you’re in Asia the more you need to read between the lines. I’m Taiwanese born in America, worked in Tokyo, then in Singapore, then in Thailand. Been in Asia 10+ years. So what kind of number culture am I then? 5th culture? 😂😂😂
    But what I learned in my time in Asia, you gotta learn to read between the lines, whether that is spoken or action.
    You can’t just say “ugh why don’t people communicate” “be more straight forward guys” “oh come on communicate bro”
    Tbh I feel like that’s the “I’m a striaght forward person so I want you to be a striaght forward person”, point of view.
    You’re taking the “why don’t you match me” point of view.
    Yes you can find someone that matches you, or, live here long enough and you start to pick up on how to communicate their way.
    Then you can go mix and match and claim whatever numbered cultured kid you want to be. Oh I went to international school, oh I have so many cultures, yada yada yada.
    To me it just sounds like both parties are stubborn and don’t wanna adapt.
    Broski, if you’re gonna live in Asia, and your international 3rd cultured kid dating pool is limited and the supply of local people is very high and you want to stay in Asia, well… learn to adapt.

  • @edwardabrasia5474
    @edwardabrasia5474 27 днів тому +1

    1 Month Relationship 😔

  • @에프렌
    @에프렌 23 дні тому

    hello from Philippines 😊

  • @scottk568
    @scottk568 22 дні тому

    I have lost female friends over being too blunt, or what I thought were just silly jokes.

  • @rexloss7199
    @rexloss7199 21 день тому

    i'm 49, how bout me..? non-verbal communication is the 'real' communication.

  • @sagupe
    @sagupe 27 днів тому +1

    Me gustó 👍🏼
    I liked it

  • @_ZOFIA
    @_ZOFIA 25 днів тому +1

    7:05- 9:40 oh my god... Literally what my Korean ex said everytime he was frustrated I didn't "JUST KNOW" . Literally said " Why should I have to tell you!? Why do I have to say it! you should just KNOW!".

  • @Jay_Chang612
    @Jay_Chang612 21 день тому

    You got a cali girl vibe lol. Look Korean but the voice is so valley girl. Haha but that’s a plus

  • @dkang23
    @dkang23 25 днів тому +1

    low noonchi elo. I swear theres noonchi inflation the last 10 years.

  • @elfilibusterible
    @elfilibusterible 21 день тому

    I don't get it.
    Why does not dating have to be "lonely"?

  • @genneveirlacsina775
    @genneveirlacsina775 27 днів тому +1

    Your very prettyyy

  • @이은혜-v5k
    @이은혜-v5k 23 дні тому

    I want to be your friend, really. From the Philippines, with love. ❤

  • @mobiusdc2234
    @mobiusdc2234 22 дні тому

    Mina I love you!

  • @Magar0monk
    @Magar0monk 23 дні тому

    Guys at least say south Korea until you are liberated from US empire. Don’t let US think Koreans are ok with US occupation of Korea

  • @albertyarra
    @albertyarra 22 дні тому

    Youll have better dating life in the Philippines

  • @OliverNorth9729
    @OliverNorth9729 21 день тому

    You look better without make up.

  • @aprilsky8474
    @aprilsky8474 25 днів тому

    When you think is it in English? If you do, youre more English orientated,I think you need that mix like yourself, not just full on Korean perhaps. It's hard, for lots of us. I get it.

  • @TXKorea
    @TXKorea 24 дні тому +1

    Not being blunt in Korea - true for some regions, including 수도권 especially. However, some 지방 especially 경상도 is quite blunt, including with romantic partners (in my experience and observation).

  • @biscuitempire88
    @biscuitempire88 24 дні тому +1

    Kuya Ryan Bang's vlog brought me here. I enjoyed your video. I hope you'll do well on your UA-cam Channel! 😊

  • @PurpleDoritos666
    @PurpleDoritos666 24 дні тому +1

    2:05 So basically white guys? 😂

  • @sagupe
    @sagupe 27 днів тому

    UA-cam me lo recomendó lo escucharé mientras hago ejercicio. Porque me encantan las mujeres asiáticas.
    UA-cam recommended it to me, I'll listen to it while I exercise. Because I love Asian girls.

  • @lt7502
    @lt7502 23 дні тому

    You are making this way too complicated. You will know when the right person comes along , trust me

  • @SoulOctavius
    @SoulOctavius 22 дні тому

    Interesting info for my studies on Koreans. Found it useful. Thanks. But you kinda did confuse me when you explained how you dont say "I love you" due to how your korean mom raised you. While your Korean dates had no problem saying this.
    I dont think its due to how your mother raised you or even her. I think she did a good job. I believe its due to western culture having an influence on you and you've picked up a few bad habits from us.
    Your just taking life a little too seriously. No need to always try to look cool or sound cool to people. That will only make your life more stressful and difficult. Its fine to be silly/goofy/lovey-dovey sometimes. You tracking? Cool. Good bye now. 👋

  • @prodbyRafa7
    @prodbyRafa7 20 днів тому

    Sounds like you should just be single for a while. Don’t force it

  • @neberboi
    @neberboi 24 дні тому +1

    After hearing your story, I get the sense that you might be a little selfish and self absorbed. You don't need to be a mind reader to know when someone is being understanding or going out of their way to please you. Do you want them to declare that they are doing something nice for you everytime they do it?😂😂

  • @AaronKim-x7i
    @AaronKim-x7i 24 дні тому

    I'll date you. Interested in a 32 Year old Korean male in America?

  • @Alpha-k6x
    @Alpha-k6x 23 дні тому +1

    지금은 얼굴좀 반반해서 관심 받고 다 자기 세상 같겠지 ㅎㅎ
    근데 좀만 기다려봐라. 서른만 넘으면 훅 꺾이는 순간이 올거다. ㅎㅎ
    그때까지 즐겨두라고 ㅋㅋㅋ

  • @opbrplayer1000
    @opbrplayer1000 23 дні тому

    New subscriber here😌😌

  • @NathanaelDominguez-ku1ii
    @NathanaelDominguez-ku1ii 14 днів тому

    ❤❤❤