Your kid logically considering misbehaving has the same vibe as when I walked to Maccas at night because I realised I hadn't done any teenage rebellion. The only thing less rebellious than no rebellion is doing precisely one rebellion to meet the societal expectation.
That is honestly a vibe. Like the time I bought a lighter because I was old enough to buy one legally but had no intention of starting to smoke. The lighter came in handy for years for candles.
I'm still a teen, never did anything rebellious, so may anyone tell me something to do that's not really rebellious but still kinda rebellious yk what I mean
As a perfectionist who can’t tell where the boundary was so I never did anything out of fear of losing my dance classes, I wish I could’ve had those conversations with my parents. I know compared to some friends of mine, I’ve got decent ones, but still, it would’ve saved little me years of stress. Your kids are gonna grow up to be amazing adults, who treat people with respect, and understand that harsh consequences are rarely needed. You’re doing amazing at parenting
Well moste people that are perfectionists and are scared of not doing something perfect are that way because of there parrents. At least for the people I know including me . (For example I got hit for making the wrong fruit mix tea when I prepared dinner)
I think the worst thing about the society we've grown up in is that even if we grew up in a household without expectations for punishment and abuse, the wider world can still give us the expectation that those things will happen to us and be acceptable because so many people just think it's normal.
The conversation resolving into “you’re asking me to threaten you to do something and I don’t wanna do that because I love you kiddo” is just so wholesome. I love this channel, your family is beautiful
I wish my mom raised me the way you raise your kids - if she told me to get something done and I didn't, the second time she had to tell me to do it she would yell at me. I'm 21 and still when she shouts my name from downstairs I still get a visceral reaction even though 9 times out of 10 now it's not because she's mad at me. I can't remember the last time she called my name because she was angry, but I can't help but feel defensive whenever she does
I got yelled at so often growing up that when my roommates raise their voices I get nervous. they have NEVER had an argument with yelling. The husband just has a habit of getting loud when he's excited, or they will be talking while she is in one room and he's in another. I'm glad they do it though. being exposed to people who can raise their voices for reasons other than anger has been super good for me.
ptsd 😢 I have it. I once had an incident where my older friend I was hanging out with at her house ( who knew me from my childhood, legit watched me develop ptsd from abuse) was telling me a story and suddenly she excitedly HAPPILY raised her voice in glee and immediately I was grabbing my cup of water desperately trying to not break down in front of her shaking hands and quivering lip and eyes flooded with tears. I couldn't hide the trigger,to stop my body and remind myself I'm safe with her it just gripped me fully into my ptsd. she was looking at me when it happened so I had no chance in hell of her not noticing what she accidentally did. she was trying to apologize right away for triggering me.
I have this from my grandmother i moved in with to take care of even as an adult, i already had ptsd from abuse & assault & a car wreck & a few other things & im autistic so maybe im more prone to it, but my grandmother is insanely abusive & threatens to start “correctly disciplining” my autistic children if i dont keep them “in line” every second & i dont want to abandon her & my grandpa especially but this is SO toxic for my kids because now im yelling because im so stressed shes going to try to spank them when im not looking 😭
@@roundsdmput them both in a home. They’ll often end up less miserable in a home with a social life with other seniors. Most importantly- you need to protect your kids before they’re abused, if they already haven’t been struck by this violent and unpredictable elder of yours.
Thats excellent communicating, thank you for that model. I have worked with kids for a decade and it is honestly a child carers biggest fear that a kid will test the boundaries like that and you dont have anything to back it up. Im glad to have seen examples of how to back it up even if i dont have a consequence. Turns out it doesnt have to be a power struggle, it can just be a conversation about right and wrong, and how highly we view the kids we're around. Coz the reality is you do think they're very capable and want to believe in them, and kids wants us to feel that way about them too. It helps put the onus on them without pointing blame at them, and hopefully helps them to think critically about making good choices, not just blindly following instructions all the time
My kids are 25 and 30. When they were little, I would ask them to do something like say, stop running around, or ask them to do something that didn't make much sense at all to them if they were slow to listen. I would explain, that I am training them to listen to me now, so if in the future there is a dangerous situation they will know how to listen and do what I ask them to do. Because the real consequence of not listening could land them getting hit by a car or truck if they took off running. I simply explained that everything had a reason that I needed them to do things, and I also taught them that they could question me if they didn't see it. I had never heard of gentle parenting, but I did some of it anyways.
It’s so important to try and test boundaries in an environment where you feel safe to do so and I’m glad that as a parent you provide that environment and a relationship that can foster conversations and healthy emotions rather than just using fear as many others do and have been normalized to do❤
This is literally the definition of test boundaries. I love that its never you talking bad about your kids. You have commin sense around children being friend people.
👏🏼 exactly this. Also I work with natural consequences with my kids so I might say that the natural consequences of them not picking up their toys might be that someone could stand on them accidentally or knock them off the table or wherever they are and that might lead to them getting broken or someone being hurt. Also a natural consequence is that the visual noise might lead to me feeling over stimulated and mean that I may have less patience and / or I might get frustrated and tidy it up myself which could lead to me feeling resentful and / or just have less time to do other things. So it would be helpful if we all just tidy up after ourselves within capability and reason and in an appropriate time frame. I’ve found that having these age appropriate conversations has led to my kids being more able to connect empathetically to others, they have a broad emotional vocabulary and they can think critically about situations and how they impact others. It’s more time consuming than saying ‘because I said so’ but it’s worth it!
That sweet little fuzzy bean is helping me to listen better. Bring more fuzzy beans. Also, you're an incredible parent. Thank you for helping all the other adults, and kids, out there really process how to be human. Your content is so affirming and healing and insightful.
If every parent treated their children as people, what a wonderful world it would be! I like your style, Mama, keep up the absolute (not the norm) great work. You are an example to be followed. No pressure, seriously! You do things your way, and I feel it's a great thing you're doing in sharing your life experiences to help others.
Amazing! Talking to your children like they're actually PEOPLE! What a novel, radical concept! You innovative thinker, you! (Seriously, though... Good for you! Such a good mom!)
Kids are curious and learning. They don't know things and when they ask questions it doesn't necessarily mean they are trying to give attitude, misbehave, or get out of doing something. Punishing them for asking questions like this teaches them not to be curious and not to ask questions. The "just do what you're told because I said so" that older generations are used to is exactly why they think people don't 'want to work' or are 'too sensitive' now because people are actually growing up or learning as adults that they are people not just mindless workers or help around the home.
I was always too afraid of my "father" hitting me again to really rebel. Now that I'm an adult and away from him, I regret not doing some things that I wished to do, like just sit outside at night for a while on the porch of that house. I can do that now, so long as I lock everything up after, and I'm glad I can. You're an amazing parent
You inspire me so much I just want you to know that. I’m currently in school with a major in early education, wanting to teach young children. You’ve inspired me to be able to want to teach these fellow smart, in their own ways, people! What a special and important opportunity!! You’ve made me also think about a lot with how I’m going to raise my own children. Thank you so much
This reminds me so much of when I was a young teen and I, out of the blue, went “hey mom. What would I have to do to get grounded?” So many of my friends got grounded for weeks for the smallest infractions, and it never made sense to me that my mom wasn’t the same way. She explained pretty much exactly what you said, that she trusts me to make good decisions and come to her when I don’t, which means we can talk through pretty much everything before any kind of ‘punishment’ were to happen.
My mom never had to think of consequences, just slap the**** outta me if she didn't like "it", sometimes I didn't even know what "it" was. I am so happy to see the changes parenting has gone through.
OMG..boundaries, good decisions and consequences. I am a Gen X and there was no conversation and we weren't people either. How times have changed..I'd be terrified as a child not to just go pick up my toys. This is lovely.
Growing up I shared everything with my siblings that includes the TV. On school nights the TV and all electronics had to be off and turned in by 8pm as to ensure everyone got up in time to get ready and out the door for our respective busses. I remember once my sister refused to turn the TV off which annoyed me since 1) I didn't want to lose my TV for not doing what I'm told and 2)I prefer to sleep in complete darkness and silence. We went back and forth for a while before my brother came in and began to back her up since Mom hadn't come yet so they thought they could stay up and keep looking at TV,I was outnumbered 2V1 so I caved and took my blanket and pillow into the living room and went to sleep. I woke up to my mom asking me if I was okay since I was in the living room, I told her what happened and she told me that I'd made the right choice instead of arguing. Both my siblings had their technology taken away for a week
My mom used to do that with me. She'd actually talk to me. I hardly ever had to get punished and if I did it was losing a privilege or I'd have to do something to make up for my actions
I'm glad that worked for you. I can't help but chuckle that it did, though. When I was a kid my Oppositional Defiance Disorder would have just come back with, "Well, I don't want to pick up my toys like you don't want to come up with consequences, so I guess the toys are staying there until you do," and then I'd have walked away. While my dad hitting me was very wrong, I understand why he had the impulse sometimes. 😅 I do not understand people without ODD and similar disorders. In your shoes, I'd quietly think to myself, "Wow! That actually worked???? Why???!!! Is she stupid, or am I just too ODD for this sht?" I had to learn to keep my, "Really?? That's it?" to myself when I started babysitting my nieces. My nephews and one of my nieces are a bit more like me, so they were easy for me to watch.
i just wanna say that "i expect you too" is so much better then "because i said so" its an actual reason, it explains WHY they want you to do the thing!!
your videos always amaze me! I feel like personally my mom attempts to do this, like she sits me or my siblings down to "talk" but it always results in her yelling or screaming or getting emotional...
My daughted has been doing the same thing sense she was 3. "You need to pick up the papers you cut up"..." what if i dont?" "Then next time you do arts and crafts, I'll think about if you get the scissers too."
So many times during childhood I would be told to do something and immediately have a very strong reaction, because it didn't fit with my mental model of how the day was going to go. I'm autistic, but back then nobody tested girls for that especially if they weren't struggling if acting out. If someone had explained why we have to do something, I would have been a lot more calm. Why's are super important to me, even as an adult, if I don't know why I need to do something I can't get my brain to let me do it. However, I've learned that as long as I have a good why I don't need to worry about the consequences of not doing the thing, because the why will be enough motivation. On the other hand, if there isn't a good enough why the consequences might be enough, but a good why is always better.
Usually i was told people might accidentally tread on them and break them or someone might teip on them and hurt themselves, usually as a kid that made me realise i should think about it. Sometimes the consequences arent just for us, it could be for others around us or well.. an accidentally broken toy.
When I was a kid I would get spanked or yelled at for doing something wrong and was confused about what I did. I wasn't told, I was just spanked or yelled at and was expected to know what I did. Sometimes I would ask and get told, "You know what you did." This would leave me very confused. Looking back, it was usually because I did or said something I saw my brothers do or say all the time and I assumed it was okay. My brothers, being boys, got much more lenience and this confused me. Also, being neurodivergent, I didn't understand that some of the things they said or did were done behind mom's back and I just said or did them out in the open because I didn't understand they were wrong since my brothers never got in trouble for them. I made it a point when I had kids to always talk about what they said or did wrong before their punishment so they could learn from it.
In that situation I’d just say that it’s a hazard honestly “Hey the stuff being strewn around could wind up tripping you or me and cleaning it up right away means less odds of that” Granted, my little brother did learn that lesson.. By me popping the sole of my foot like a water balloon while putting him to bed once. Never left staples on the ground ever again!
Kids looooove to test boundaries but to me whats the conciquence equals is the pumishment bad enough for me to want to do it which should never be the mindset and im glad you had a convo rather than let that game start of is it worth it
I am so sorry to bring this up but that rat (I think) is the size of my dog, my dog is four pounds by the way she was the runt of her litter, the reason I bring it up is because one day while waking an older woman stopped me and screamed I had a rat on my leash and I was younger at the time and didn’t understand why she genuinely thought I had a rat for a moment and relived when I showed her it was my dog. Now I know why BECAUSE LOOK AT THE SWEET BIG OLD CHONKY BABYYYYYY! HE BE A RAT OF JUST I WANNA SQUEEZE AND PET AND AHHHHH! But yeah! Hope this made you smile at least a little byyyyeee!
Trying to listen but oml that’s a very convincing parrot-lookalike Honestly good to not make a big deal out of that convo though- Other parents might’ve just seen it as a sign of disrespect
Your kid logically considering misbehaving has the same vibe as when I walked to Maccas at night because I realised I hadn't done any teenage rebellion. The only thing less rebellious than no rebellion is doing precisely one rebellion to meet the societal expectation.
Lmaoo 😂
one single rebellion lololol
That is honestly a vibe. Like the time I bought a lighter because I was old enough to buy one legally but had no intention of starting to smoke. The lighter came in handy for years for candles.
Lmao my one single teenage rebellion was me shaving my hair and not even the full thing… after I turned eighteen 💀
I'm still a teen, never did anything rebellious, so may anyone tell me something to do that's not really rebellious but still kinda rebellious yk what I mean
As a perfectionist who can’t tell where the boundary was so I never did anything out of fear of losing my dance classes, I wish I could’ve had those conversations with my parents. I know compared to some friends of mine, I’ve got decent ones, but still, it would’ve saved little me years of stress.
Your kids are gonna grow up to be amazing adults, who treat people with respect, and understand that harsh consequences are rarely needed. You’re doing amazing at parenting
Well moste people that are perfectionists and are scared of not doing something perfect are that way because of there parrents. At least for the people I know including me . (For example I got hit for making the wrong fruit mix tea when I prepared dinner)
I think the worst thing about the society we've grown up in is that even if we grew up in a household without expectations for punishment and abuse, the wider world can still give us the expectation that those things will happen to us and be acceptable because so many people just think it's normal.
The conversation resolving into “you’re asking me to threaten you to do something and I don’t wanna do that because I love you kiddo” is just so wholesome. I love this channel, your family is beautiful
The mural is coming along so well! Did anyone else just pay attention to the animal on their shoulder this entire video? 😅
I'm unable to concentrate on what Tori is saying as I'm distracted by her pet. What did I do wrong with my rats that they were 1/2 that size??
@@darcistephenson5359 by their* pet, Tori uses they/them pronouns.
@@darcistephenson5359you got females
Had to watch this twice bc all I was focused on was their rat
The rat was so squishy ❤
“I expect you to” 100% the right thing to say!!!!! Respectful, sets her up for success!!!
I wish my mom raised me the way you raise your kids - if she told me to get something done and I didn't, the second time she had to tell me to do it she would yell at me. I'm 21 and still when she shouts my name from downstairs I still get a visceral reaction even though 9 times out of 10 now it's not because she's mad at me. I can't remember the last time she called my name because she was angry, but I can't help but feel defensive whenever she does
I got yelled at so often growing up that when my roommates raise their voices I get nervous. they have NEVER had an argument with yelling. The husband just has a habit of getting loud when he's excited, or they will be talking while she is in one room and he's in another. I'm glad they do it though. being exposed to people who can raise their voices for reasons other than anger has been super good for me.
ptsd 😢 I have it.
I once had an incident where my older friend I was hanging out with at her house ( who knew me from my childhood, legit watched me develop ptsd from abuse) was telling me a story and suddenly she excitedly HAPPILY raised her voice in glee and immediately I was grabbing my cup of water desperately trying to not break down in front of her shaking hands and quivering lip and eyes flooded with tears. I couldn't hide the trigger,to stop my body and remind myself I'm safe with her it just gripped me fully into my ptsd. she was looking at me when it happened so I had no chance in hell of her not noticing what she accidentally did. she was trying to apologize right away for triggering me.
I have this from my grandmother i moved in with to take care of even as an adult, i already had ptsd from abuse & assault & a car wreck & a few other things & im autistic so maybe im more prone to it, but my grandmother is insanely abusive & threatens to start “correctly disciplining” my autistic children if i dont keep them “in line” every second & i dont want to abandon her & my grandpa especially but this is SO toxic for my kids because now im yelling because im so stressed shes going to try to spank them when im not looking 😭
@@roundsdm I am also autistic 🫂 ❤️
@@roundsdmput them both in a home. They’ll often end up less miserable in a home with a social life with other seniors.
Most importantly- you need to protect your kids before they’re abused, if they already haven’t been struck by this violent and unpredictable elder of yours.
I like how your kid is comfortable asking these questions without worrying ab "backtalk". Thats such a polite way to test a boundary.
Thats excellent communicating, thank you for that model.
I have worked with kids for a decade and it is honestly a child carers biggest fear that a kid will test the boundaries like that and you dont have anything to back it up. Im glad to have seen examples of how to back it up even if i dont have a consequence. Turns out it doesnt have to be a power struggle, it can just be a conversation about right and wrong, and how highly we view the kids we're around.
Coz the reality is you do think they're very capable and want to believe in them, and kids wants us to feel that way about them too. It helps put the onus on them without pointing blame at them, and hopefully helps them to think critically about making good choices, not just blindly following instructions all the time
Anyone else just watching the adorable little rat cleaning its itty bitty face ❤
I'm not a mom yet, but goodness you are my inspiration. I love the way you are.
So true! ❤
So distracted by the sweet little shoulder puppy!!
My kids are 25 and 30. When they were little, I would ask them to do something like say, stop running around, or ask them to do something that didn't make much sense at all to them if they were slow to listen. I would explain, that I am training them to listen to me now, so if in the future there is a dangerous situation they will know how to listen and do what I ask them to do. Because the real consequence of not listening could land them getting hit by a car or truck if they took off running.
I simply explained that everything had a reason that I needed them to do things, and I also taught them that they could question me if they didn't see it. I had never heard of gentle parenting, but I did some of it anyways.
Exactly.....I love how you explain things, I'm very honest with my daughter and this is how I think❤
The cute rat cleaning its face is so adorable!!
"not all consequences are bad," is my favorite concept ever.
Edit: to clarify, "being rewarded" is a consequence of good behavior, for example.
The fact that your kid went “eh, you’re right” and did what you asked her to without any yelling or fear proves that you are an amazing parent
It’s so important to try and test boundaries in an environment where you feel safe to do so and I’m glad that as a parent you provide that environment and a relationship that can foster conversations and healthy emotions rather than just using fear as many others do and have been normalized to do❤
This is literally the definition of test boundaries. I love that its never you talking bad about your kids. You have commin sense around children being friend people.
You're raising really thoughtful, mature people. You make me wish I'd been a better mum.
Your rat is so cute!
👏🏼 exactly this. Also I work with natural consequences with my kids so I might say that the natural consequences of them not picking up their toys might be that someone could stand on them accidentally or knock them off the table or wherever they are and that might lead to them getting broken or someone being hurt. Also a natural consequence is that the visual noise might lead to me feeling over stimulated and mean that I may have less patience and / or I might get frustrated and tidy it up myself which could lead to me feeling resentful and / or just have less time to do other things. So it would be helpful if we all just tidy up after ourselves within capability and reason and in an appropriate time frame.
I’ve found that having these age appropriate conversations has led to my kids being more able to connect empathetically to others, they have a broad emotional vocabulary and they can think critically about situations and how they impact others. It’s more time consuming than saying ‘because I said so’ but it’s worth it!
That sweet little fuzzy bean is helping me to listen better. Bring more fuzzy beans.
Also, you're an incredible parent. Thank you for helping all the other adults, and kids, out there really process how to be human.
Your content is so affirming and healing and insightful.
Love the logic... And I love the little critter cleaning itself while you talk.
You're such a good mom! I want to e like yih when I have children also, that ferret thing is adorable
It’s a rat :)
I used to have them too, they’re so smart!!
Your ratty boy's coat looks stunning! Goodness his diet must be wonderful.
If every parent treated their children as people, what a wonderful world it would be! I like your style, Mama, keep up the absolute (not the norm) great work. You are an example to be followed. No pressure, seriously! You do things your way, and I feel it's a great thing you're doing in sharing your life experiences to help others.
Amazing! Talking to your children like they're actually PEOPLE! What a novel, radical concept! You innovative thinker, you!
(Seriously, though... Good for you! Such a good mom!)
This rat is GORGEOUS! And you're such a good mom and almost every video you make makes me cry how dare you
Kids are curious and learning. They don't know things and when they ask questions it doesn't necessarily mean they are trying to give attitude, misbehave, or get out of doing something. Punishing them for asking questions like this teaches them not to be curious and not to ask questions. The "just do what you're told because I said so" that older generations are used to is exactly why they think people don't 'want to work' or are 'too sensitive' now because people are actually growing up or learning as adults that they are people not just mindless workers or help around the home.
What a cute boy 😍 My rat just recently passed away, they are such good companions
I was always too afraid of my "father" hitting me again to really rebel. Now that I'm an adult and away from him, I regret not doing some things that I wished to do, like just sit outside at night for a while on the porch of that house. I can do that now, so long as I lock everything up after, and I'm glad I can. You're an amazing parent
Your stories are always so good and getting to see the rattie baby is also a joy.
You inspire me so much I just want you to know that. I’m currently in school with a major in early education, wanting to teach young children. You’ve inspired me to be able to want to teach these fellow smart, in their own ways, people! What a special and important opportunity!!
You’ve made me also think about a lot with how I’m going to raise my own children. Thank you so much
This reminds me so much of when I was a young teen and I, out of the blue, went “hey mom. What would I have to do to get grounded?” So many of my friends got grounded for weeks for the smallest infractions, and it never made sense to me that my mom wasn’t the same way. She explained pretty much exactly what you said, that she trusts me to make good decisions and come to her when I don’t, which means we can talk through pretty much everything before any kind of ‘punishment’ were to happen.
That rat has the sweetest little face ❤❤❤❤
i aspire to be this as a parent thank you ❤
That was literally an epic mom moment
Awesome thought process mom!!!! This needs to go viral 🎉
My mom never had to think of consequences, just slap the**** outta me if she didn't like "it", sometimes I didn't even know what "it" was. I am so happy to see the changes parenting has gone through.
OMG..boundaries, good decisions and consequences. I am a Gen X and there was no conversation and we weren't people either. How times have changed..I'd be terrified as a child not to just go pick up my toys. This is lovely.
This one is timely for me. Thank you!
I wish my parents had this outlook...
Growing up I shared everything with my siblings that includes the TV. On school nights the TV and all electronics had to be off and turned in by 8pm as to ensure everyone got up in time to get ready and out the door for our respective busses. I remember once my sister refused to turn the TV off which annoyed me since 1) I didn't want to lose my TV for not doing what I'm told and 2)I prefer to sleep in complete darkness and silence. We went back and forth for a while before my brother came in and began to back her up since Mom hadn't come yet so they thought they could stay up and keep looking at TV,I was outnumbered 2V1 so I caved and took my blanket and pillow into the living room and went to sleep. I woke up to my mom asking me if I was okay since I was in the living room, I told her what happened and she told me that I'd made the right choice instead of arguing. Both my siblings had their technology taken away for a week
My mom used to do that with me. She'd actually talk to me. I hardly ever had to get punished and if I did it was losing a privilege or I'd have to do something to make up for my actions
Keep the chunky boi in your video’s, he’s freaking adorable
🤯 that. Is an amazing response.
I'm glad that worked for you. I can't help but chuckle that it did, though. When I was a kid my Oppositional Defiance Disorder would have just come back with, "Well, I don't want to pick up my toys like you don't want to come up with consequences, so I guess the toys are staying there until you do," and then I'd have walked away. While my dad hitting me was very wrong, I understand why he had the impulse sometimes. 😅
I do not understand people without ODD and similar disorders. In your shoes, I'd quietly think to myself, "Wow! That actually worked???? Why???!!! Is she stupid, or am I just too ODD for this sht?" I had to learn to keep my, "Really?? That's it?" to myself when I started babysitting my nieces. My nephews and one of my nieces are a bit more like me, so they were easy for me to watch.
That was such a beautiful solution! I wish I would have thought to solve the problem that way. You are amazing!
Omg I can't listen to you cause your rat is too cute!!!! I mean I did listen but still they are adorable ❤
Wow, this is an awesome response!
You're a good mom Tori!❤❤❤
Woah, that rat is huge! Little dude must be great for cuddling :D
Her: **telling us all how she works with her kids and letting us know she is a good mom**
Me: *"It's a ratty bby on her shoulder🥺🥺🥺"*
i just wanna say that "i expect you too" is so much better then "because i said so"
its an actual reason, it explains WHY they want you to do the thing!!
The only consequence I could think of for not picking up toys would probably be that I'd pick them up and put the box on a tall shelf or something.
your videos always amaze me! I feel like personally my mom attempts to do this, like she sits me or my siblings down to "talk" but it always results in her yelling or screaming or getting emotional...
My daughted has been doing the same thing sense she was 3. "You need to pick up the papers you cut up"..." what if i dont?" "Then next time you do arts and crafts, I'll think about if you get the scissers too."
I’ve learned a lot from you and Gwenna ❤
It sounds like she was genuinely asking it as a question. My parents said I was being rude when asking that
Yep, like kids learn where boundaries are by pushing them. It's not malicious.
is no one gonna talk about the rar? look at the little guy! 💙
I had to watch twice because I was so focused on the adorable little nugget on your shoulder 😆
A+ mama
So many times during childhood I would be told to do something and immediately have a very strong reaction, because it didn't fit with my mental model of how the day was going to go. I'm autistic, but back then nobody tested girls for that especially if they weren't struggling if acting out. If someone had explained why we have to do something, I would have been a lot more calm.
Why's are super important to me, even as an adult, if I don't know why I need to do something I can't get my brain to let me do it. However, I've learned that as long as I have a good why I don't need to worry about the consequences of not doing the thing, because the why will be enough motivation. On the other hand, if there isn't a good enough why the consequences might be enough, but a good why is always better.
Oh my heart!! I'm missing having ratties right now!!!🥰🥰🥰
Usually i was told people might accidentally tread on them and break them or someone might teip on them and hurt themselves, usually as a kid that made me realise i should think about it.
Sometimes the consequences arent just for us, it could be for others around us or well.. an accidentally broken toy.
Kids do it because testing boundaries is how we learn, but its often seen as attitude 😅
That rat is so flipping squishy
Also it makes your kid not a doormat. They questioned why they were doing something and made a reasonable conclusion.
Love your knowledge and common sense (to me )❤❤❤❤
your rat is so chunky I love him 😂
I know Tori has human children but it’s very funny to imagine that they’re talking about the rat
When I was a kid I would get spanked or yelled at for doing something wrong and was confused about what I did. I wasn't told, I was just spanked or yelled at and was expected to know what I did. Sometimes I would ask and get told, "You know what you did." This would leave me very confused. Looking back, it was usually because I did or said something I saw my brothers do or say all the time and I assumed it was okay. My brothers, being boys, got much more lenience and this confused me. Also, being neurodivergent, I didn't understand that some of the things they said or did were done behind mom's back and I just said or did them out in the open because I didn't understand they were wrong since my brothers never got in trouble for them. I made it a point when I had kids to always talk about what they said or did wrong before their punishment so they could learn from it.
As someone who is also a person…I totally woulda been like okay let’s find out then. Imma risk it!
Tori: *Giving amazing parenting advice.*
My Adhd Brain: “FURRY POTATO!”
In that situation I’d just say that it’s a hazard honestly
“Hey the stuff being strewn around could wind up tripping you or me and cleaning it up right away means less odds of that”
Granted, my little brother did learn that lesson.. By me popping the sole of my foot like a water balloon while putting him to bed once.
Never left staples on the ground ever again!
your cat is so cute!! what breed is it😍
The little white spot on the rat's forehead looked like a horn at the end when it was grooming on your shoulder at the end 😂
Kids are people?!? Whodathunk it! Good job Mamma, the fact that the question was asked shows that you have instilled the right values already
Your pet fancy rat is sooo docile. Ours were crazy!
Awwwwuh the sweet fuzzy baby
You have such a big chaos potato! I love them!
I love that so much. ❤
your rat buddy is really cute
off topic, but the rat is so adorable!! my mom is getting me rats soon!!! :D
the adorable little ratty dude! I love him
PLEASE... Introduce us to the rats!
I wish my mom was like that
Kids looooove to test boundaries but to me whats the conciquence equals is the pumishment bad enough for me to want to do it which should never be the mindset and im glad you had a convo rather than let that game start of is it worth it
Idk didnt hear alot of that my brain was yelling "BIG FAT BOY. MEATY RAT
RODENT LUXURY'
Would you sign this folded autograph that definitely isn't hiding adoption papers? (In all seriousness though, I wish my mum was like u)
…i melted
Oh man that rat is adorable
I am so sorry to bring this up but that rat (I think) is the size of my dog, my dog is four pounds by the way she was the runt of her litter, the reason I bring it up is because one day while waking an older woman stopped me and screamed I had a rat on my leash and I was younger at the time and didn’t understand why she genuinely thought I had a rat for a moment and relived when I showed her it was my dog.
Now I know why BECAUSE LOOK AT THE SWEET BIG OLD CHONKY BABYYYYYY! HE BE A RAT OF JUST I WANNA SQUEEZE AND PET AND AHHHHH! But yeah! Hope this made you smile at least a little byyyyeee!
Your rat is adorable
Thats sweet ^^
A nutural consequence being a toy mountain! 😂 Remember that Shel Silverstein poem about the girl who wouldnt take the garbage out??
Kid logic I had the same problem but ours was harder headed.... so if your can't maintain your toys then you have less toys.
Trying to listen but oml that’s a very convincing parrot-lookalike
Honestly good to not make a big deal out of that convo though- Other parents might’ve just seen it as a sign of disrespect
I wonder if she heard about consequences from friends. I doubt being grounded is going away any time soon.
That lengthy rodent™ is really distracting. He's such a good chaos