Sexual Repression Is NOT Holiness | GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE
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- Опубліковано 28 лип 2024
- In this video, we're going to be looking at the very important difference between sexual repression and sexual redemption.
What are you supposed to do with all your sexual desires if you can't have sex and you're not supposed to masturbate? Most people who are trying to live a chaste life fall into the mistake of thinking there are only two options: indulge your desires or repress your desires. But my brothers and sisters, there is a third way!
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My experience is: It is the experience of God's unconditional love that changes me. I have so often tried to be brutal to myself in the spiritual battle. It didn't help. Only the experience of his love makes me love better. This made my battle liveable, endurable.
Can you explain?
I’ve had a similar experience. I dealt with so much shame from struggling with sexual desires. It wasn’t until I fully understood that God loves and chose me despite my feelings of shame and unworthiness that I found more freedom. It took me a time while in a Christian recovery group.
Amen 🙏🏻! Redemption rather than repression. Keeping our sexuality as a gift for the one and only that will receive it. Our body being the expression of our love. It actually makes me feel free to know that the day I will offer myself to my future wife, that it will be a total and true gift. Sexuality is good and wanted by God. But as you said in other vidéos, when it is not oriented by love, it becomes a lie, which I’ve almost experimented and can testify you are preaching the truth that can set us free. God bless us all. 🙏🏻
I have lived with repression all my life, I know what it looks like. What does bringing our sexuality up and out and into the hands of Jesus look like? to me it feels rather abstract.
these talks do seem abstract nearest I can figure sex is supposed to be an expression of love
This channel has a more recent video titled: "TRUE PURITY: Going Beyond Just Avoiding Lust." It lays out a very practical method and example of living your sexuality in the hands of Jesus.
I would agree this talk is kind of abstract, but Christopher is definitely on to something. Through prayer, we truly discover the holy purpose God intended for those desires. I will definitely start myself by committing this to prayer.
Let me give you an answer that you can understand how to defeat masturbation. Try and follow me how often have we heard a husband who wanted to have sex with his wife was turned down by his wife because she was not feeling well because she was sick.
How often have you turned down sex because you weren't feeling well ? !!!
Now think, when you weren't feeling well, did you feel like having sex ? No, you did not ,the passion wasn't there and the feelings weren't there !!!!!!! Do you follow me ? !!!
When the body is not feeling well or is sick OR IS MADE TO NOT FEEL WELL the passion is gone, the desire for sex is gone !!!
Now do you get it !! The demon that controls masturbation is extremely powerful Jesus told us, and the Traditional Catholic Church, that there are some demons who can only be defeated buy fasting (Mark 9- 29) and by what the church calls "the discipline" ( that is the wip) !!! In the case of powerful demons like this fasting and the whip the discipline must be used along with prayer.
NOTE : if your Bible in Mark 9:29 does NOT say fasting along w/prayer then you are not using the Catholic bible and the only Bible. It's a mortal sin for any Catholic to use any other Bible than the Catholic Bible !!!
Now the worst thing that you can do with masturbation is to keep using the/your same answer that you've been using for so so long and it never works. You have given enough time and trial to the old solution it's time for change !!! it's time for a new answer. And believe it or not the traditional catholic church does teach this principle if what you're doing doesn't work overtime then the traditional Catholic faith teaches you have a duty to try something different stop making the same mistake over and over and over again with the same answer it doesn't work. You have to kick it up a notch or two or three or four you have to put a little bam to your prayers and that is where fasting mark 9:29 and the discipline the whip come into play. The demon you're fighting is extremely powerful but Jesus gave us the answer the reason why you haven't stopped masturbating is because you haven't embraced fasting and the discipline. And when I say fasting I don't mean today's Vatican to church fasting I mean the traditional catholic fasting bread and water don't try and swindle God on the fasting !!!!
Needless to say you should limit, your exposure to the opposite sex. You must start the process of censoring everything and anything on TV including your cell phone no more going to the Public beach and avoid people who dress liberally and provocatively
I am depressed and continually frustrated by the impracticality of Christian teachings about sexual urges despite my strong belief in the spiritual. I am in agreement with the MANY in this comment section who believe that this did not properly tackle the issue. There's nothing else to say really, it's just so sad.... How many of us believers are afflicted because we lack a shepherd in this area of life?
if you want to learn a bunch of practical techniques...the taoists really have this one figured out. probably the most practical approach ive seen so far. there is basically nothing in traditional christianity that will work effectively.
I think initially You may need some element of repression, but that will not be sufficient. St Paul calls US to renew our minds, that is what You should be aiming for in general in your life. If your passions seem to be too strong to handle You may consider that there is something You are engaging in that is not strictly related to sex, but is a behavior that reinforces a certain spirit in you that generates such strong seemingly uncontrollable desires. For instance, You go to the gym to be fit, but if You examine why You choose going to the gym to other activities you may find a certain vain emphasis of looking a certain way. As a general rule I would examine everyday things You do out of pragmatism to look for Hidden beliefs that may be guiding You in a certain direction without knowing. Overall I would Say recognise that this signifies the necessity for change on a deep level, which also implies a Big reward❤
@@bg9938no this is a new issue because back in the day people would get married younger and didn’t have to abstain for 10+ years
I have much respect for M.West work and approach. I bought and read the book, twice. Still I can't see how one can redeem its desires. Not to diminish the power of prayer and grace, but in the every day life right now I feel it means abstinence, longing, loneliness even in marriage, and years-enduring suffering.
P.S. I see in the comments I am not alone in missing the practical side of M. West teaching.
For some of us, this language in 'theology of the body' amounts to little more than sympathic prose.
"Turn over your disordered desires to God that he may redeem those desires and set them in their rightly context"
Alright, I know what redemption means, I know what disorded means, and I have some theological basis for understanding what would constitute that 'rightly context,' but how do I "turn over my desires to God?"
Again, how do I actually accomplish this?
Do I turn them over in prayer, engage self-mortification, pursue beatifics for the redirection of those sexual energies...what is the 'actual' process.
The language here isn't very helpful. I'm not a flower child, the prose is beautiful, but it leaves me in much the same place Sola Fide leaves the struggling and troubled attempts at recollection in our Prostestant friends - "what do I mean by faith?"
Good questions, I'm not surprised you didn't get an answer.
Like most youtube, it's an echo chamber that does not relate to open and honest discussion.
I too identified with your question.
I warn people about the repercussions of fornication.
Interestingly, I deal with a lot of new age people and the new age ideologies.
Same there, always an echo chamber, but on the ground people will listen sometimes.
The funniest thing about the new age and its ideologies, besides being aetheistic and yet stealing or adopting language, the word love being the most semantic offense, they claim spirituality and awareness.
However, the new age us continuously contradicting itself even according to their own beliefs.
I ask new age people if they pay attention, what is the residual feelings and energy of fornication.
Of course, Aldo according to their own rules, one woukd be telling the "universe" or "energy field" that one is not worthy of real love and partnership because it is a dishonoring action to the self as well as the other.
That being said, and being in separation from someone who's spirit was illuminated to me and I am in love with and live whole heartedly for their highest good, I often feel crazy with the very real and present sexual energies within me.
I don't feel so well.
One "new age" type energy reader that is a bit different that I know and does have some useful and practical insights made the observation I agree with that sexual energies, like love itself, is like water in a spring or stream, if unable to flow, it stagnated and becomes toxic.
I agree and have felt this very much.
However, as I said I haven't seen the person I woukd like to marry in a long time.
This was a love that was illuminated by God.
Unless he decides to illuminate something new, I am not in agreement with the writings of Paul about finding someone to marry so as not to fall into temptation.
Many Christian men use this ad well as the "head if a woman" thing to set up a marriage.
That arrangement seems very clinical and employment like to me and is reminiscent of the new age which views marriage as a business contract.
However I am facing some of the same questions and struggles as you.
Your videos have been a revelation to me. Thank you!
Thanks for the video, Dr. West
Very hopeful and inspiring. Thank you!
What a great channel. So glad I "stumbled" upon it (thanks YT algorithm!). This is such a key part of our spiritual path!
We're glad it blessed you!
I needed this so much. thank you
Thankyou brother for another wonderful message talk. Praise God its so true and righton . Its very inspirational meaningful comforting helpful possitive and very encouraging in the Lord Jesus Christ. God bless you thank you Amen.
It just makes so much sense!
I was trying to understand how God can speak through the Psalm of Psalms in such an erotic language. If it represented the church and Him, why is it expressed in such a sexual way. It always puzzled me.
And here it is, an answer. Our sexuality is broken, and He is speaking by His original design.
I'll be asking Jesus to heal me in this regard, thank you Lord for sending us your teachers !
Yes!!!! Went through time I thought God was an Eros lover. Found out not smart. However, noticed how sex is compared to a fountain and He compares Himself to a fountain....drives me insane. Some parts of Bible I don't even read cause seems too erotic....if He doesn't want us to sin sexually, why did He write such things?!
song of songs is husband and wife, its literally solomon and a woman expressing love in marriage, thats it
@@caitlinsmith5038 song of songs is husband and wife, its literally solomon and a woman expressing love in marriage, thats it
I really appreciate Christopher West and all the work he does. Now i'm going to sound like I don't: This is just the same vague bull I've listened to for decades... True but teaches NOTHING. I just hate this kind of talk. It does not help ME! ... Let me cut out this poetic phrasing and get right to the meat of the issue: These urges are a call to love so act like it! Who loves you that they're willing to die for you? They are your examples with the question of what to do with that sexual desire! Commit to the one you love before you even know who they are!!! Dont give yourself as sloppy seconds or thirds (or sixty eights). Commit yourself! You do that by NOT lusting over others, desiring the flesh of others, using others! Do you admire anyone that does that??? Show your love by staying TRUE to the one you love. That way, when you do give yourself to them it is A GIFT and NOT simply a 'hand-me-down".
There is so much deceit in the world, corruption and relativism that we need to DROP the buttery lingo and simply give these answers in a way people can RELATE and, in turn, UNDERSTAND!!!
I agree with this. Sometimes these topics can sound almost too romantisized too early in someones search for an answer. The practical answer should come first, then the deep theological answer should back it up. Both are necessary but the same explanations and references whenever the topic of sex comes up are starting to feel like the practical answer is getting danced around.
@@michaelfrausto1204 Right, 2 people spends their time waiting for the right person for marriage and they come to find out the physical intimacy turns to utter disappointment for one or both. Let's say the husband might enjoy it but the wife doesn't, and then this starts a vicious cycle of cat @ mouse, him wonder why she doesn't like sex ( and maybe she doesn't know why either? And as devout catholic you just don't talk about such things?) it sets a precedence for intimacy for entirety of the marriage and after a kid or or 2 it really falls off a cliff.
@DoubleOhSilver unfortunately if one of them is asexual and doesn't have any normal longing for sex, that's where you hit a brick wall. Or worse, you end up like me and find out you body physically can't have sex no matter how horny you get.
@@DoubleOhSilver could be Not just communication problem, with a degree sexual repression how do you fix a communication problem? When more than likely the wife doesn't even know what she may like or enjoy and too constrained to talk about sex with her spouse?
Double down with an inept husband ( if their both virgins?) that thinks no foreplay for the wife with and 3 minutes of missionary sex is great sex?
My wife talked to one younger married woman -She said "I don't know what the fuss was all about, when we have sex it's done in 2 or 3 minutes anyway."
See it already if things don't change - 5 or so yrs down the road and couple kids later that sex life is going to dwindle down to nothing. The sex life isn't worth the squeeze anymore, as far she's concerned - 3 to 5 minutes of sex and he's all done and she could face 36 wks of another pregnancy?
@@sitka49why on earth wouldn’t the wife enjoy sex lol
Good job young man.
What a nightmare life is.
Okay but in practice this means that you have to repress your desires.
As a gay man this is clear and obvious to me. Yes, the goal is redemption but that requires repression.
Our sexuality becomes more and more the power to love 💕 woww
You can only choose to be celibate if you could have all the women you want but choose not to. Having no money for food doesn't count as fasting.
Oh no! I wish I had been told that much sooner! 🤦🏻♀️😔
Dr West: OK, but what does a Christian man who is unmarried do, or a Christian man married to a woman who refuses to have sex with him? God made the naked woman so beautiful and beauty is an attribute of God. Isn't it praising God to appreciate the beauty of a naked woman? Please, let's see your answers to these dilemmas. Thanks.
Single folks have to wait it out till they get married. But as far as married couples go, I see countless examples of women holding out on their men. They don't value sex like men do and many men suffer in silence because of this. Married folks need to be having as much sex as possible to protect each other and to foster marital bliss. I've seen many articles of women who'd decided to have sex everyday day with their husbands. ALL OF THEM (not just one or two..) ALL of them reported to have better self esteem, better relationships with their husbands, less conflict, less self esteem issues, etc the list goes on. There's no excuse for married couples not to make love as much as possible. AT LEAST 5 times a week. Sex is an amazing gift from God and women act like they're the gatekeepers to it and they need to stop depriving men of their rights. If women got rejected by their husbands, they'd be calling for church discipline on their men. The double standards have to stop. Married couples should get it on as much as possible and give each other what they want.
@@DoubleOhSilver Thank you, but I hoped the host of the program would condescend to answer me, after all his pontifcations! I guess i am not important! Anyway, who decides where the line is between "appreciate the beauty" and the lust? Isn't appreciating beauty a gratifcation?
Oh, so we find ourselves in a “fallen” world……that explains everything (sic)…….before the fall all was perfect-so why did we fall from perfection……your interpretation of the wedding at Cana is out there…..people were made for love and affection….
Why is asceticism so pronounced among the Christian Saints and Fathers then? Not that they are repressed, but celibacy and continence are arguably the main ways to God
I agree with all he is saying but this feels like philosophy not the “how to” manual that WE NEED.
I know he says to “take his course” to learn more. But that makes this video feel more like a promotion and less like a helping hand to believers who feel like their Sexuality is a burden rather then a blessing.
Please…
people need to hear the nuts and bolts of how this works to spur them forward to want to learn more.
God be with you.
Yeah, honestly I have no idea what he means by "power to love devinely" It makes no sense to me at all and it sounds like empty words
*Here is how you can overcome the sin of lust*
A. A life of prayer. Every time the devil or concupiscence of the flesh introduces a sexual thought into your mind you reject it and run to Jesus and Mary. Rely on them, not on yourself. (Prayers: morning and evening offerings, act of contrition, daily rosary, if possible daily Mass).
B. Lead a Sacramental Life. Worthy reception of the Sacraments of Confession and of Holy Communion primarily. Attending Mass even without receiving Holy Communion is beneficial (spiritual communion).
C. Spiritual reading. Read the Catechism, and the Saints or listen to them or good Priests to know how to defeat lust.
D. Remove all near occasions of sin from your life. For example, if you struggle with pornography you don't use your computer or phone when you are alone by yourself. Just as if you were someone struggling to overcome drunkenness, it would not be wise to go to the bar after work or have alcoholic drinks at home.
E. Ask Jesus and Mary for the graces to purify your memory.
F. Keep custody of your senses, especially your sight. If you see an immodestly dressed man or woman, turn your gaze away and pray for them and for yourself until you overcome the temptation. This includes turning your imagination to Jesus on the Cross and Mary at the foot of the Cross. Or any other aspect of their lives on earth or in heaven.
G. Deliverance prayer - In the name of Jesus, I reject you spirit of lust and I bind and cast you to the foot of the Cross to be judged and sentenced by my Lord Jesus Christ. Through Christ my Lord and through the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Amen.
*Here is how you can overcome the sin of lust*
A. A life of prayer. Every time the devil or concupiscence of the flesh introduces a sexual thought into your mind you reject it and run to Jesus and Mary. Rely on them, not on yourself. (Prayers: morning and evening offerings, act of contrition, daily rosary, if possible daily Mass).
B. Lead a Sacramental Life. Worthy reception of the Sacraments of Confession and of Holy Communion primarily. Attending Mass even without receiving Holy Communion is beneficial (spiritual communion).
C. Spiritual reading. Read the Catechism, and the Saints or listen to them or good Priests to know how to defeat lust.
D. Remove all near occasions of sin from your life. For example, if you struggle with pornography you don't use your computer or phone when you are alone by yourself. Just as if you were someone struggling to overcome drunkenness, it would not be wise to go to the bar after work or have alcoholic drinks at home.
E. Ask Jesus and Mary for the graces to purify your memory.
F. Keep custody of your senses, especially your sight. If you see an immodestly dressed man or woman, turn your gaze away and pray for them and for yourself until you overcome the temptation. This includes turning your imagination to Jesus on the Cross and Mary at the foot of the Cross. Or any other aspect of their lives on earth or in heaven.
G. Deliverance prayer - In the name of Jesus, I reject you spirit of lust and I bind and cast you to the foot of the Cross to be judged and sentenced by my Lord Jesus Christ. Through Christ my Lord and through the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Amen.
H. Strive to grow in all of the virtues. Chastity is merely a sub-virtue of the cardinal virtue of temperance. Work on fasting and abstinence from meat as well, every Friday. Then add Wednesdays to the mix. Lent is coming up.
I. Patience. You will fall, but the righteous man continues to get back up and into the fight (through Confession primarily).Over time you will build continence as you develop the virtue.
maybe a better way of providing something useful to someone asking this question is just to tell them this...all interactions are sexual, all creative acts and all obsevant acts. a simple way of transmuting sexual urges is to learn to see all acts of volition and observation as sexual. in making this connection, a person can then simply practice redirecting their sexual energies and urges into a course of action or observation that is appropriate for their choice of behaviors or religious framework. most people have issues with sexual repression or indulgence because they see sex as purely isolated to physical genitals...also they have issues figuring this simple dynamic out because people complicate the issue with a bunch of convoluted religious traditions that are mostly useless in real actions. it is really as simple as just learning to direct sexual energy into an action of choice.
Christopher, thank you so much for these videos... maybe some topic you could cover in the future would be the physical benefits of semen retention which prove that our bodies are not made to ejaculate as often as the world tells us. There are many many obvious positive effects of retaining semen, I think if this is covered it will help give many young men like myself motivation to strive for chastity, not just for spiritual benefits but physical. God bless!
There is no solid scientific evidence semen retention has any health benefit , I think its more of a placebo effect .If you believe it, its true? but there is some evidence that periodical ejection can stave off prostate cancer ( use it or lose it, I guess ?) but if man lives long enough he will get it eventually.
There is not a biological benefit to that, sorry fella.
@@veddermn8 exactly. I was about to say that. I'm not a guy, but from what guys have told me, if they have an uncontrollable bones, which usually happens in the prime of our sex drive (late teens early 20s), it can be incredibly painful if they can't have sex or masterbate. I mean do they really expect guys to walk around with a hard on in their pants?
@@ashleyspurling5701 This "if they have an uncontrollable bones, which usually happens in the prime of our sex drive (late teens early 20s), it can be incredibly painful if they can't have sex or masterbate" is *NOT* true.
I am a man past his mid-20s and never did I experience pain because of not having sex or not masturbating. In fact, it was quite the opposite.
What that is, is either ignorance of spiritual realities/spiritual combat or an excuse/rationalization in order not to practice the harder thing which is the virtue of chastity. Without this virtue, and God's graces to build it, no one will never be able to order sex according to right reason after becoming an addict. Especially in our pornified society. Divine positive law dictates sex is only permissible and good within the confines of matrimony given it has two primary functions. First, sex is for reproduction and the rearing of children. Second it is for the union, bringing closer together of the spouses.
@@NaruIchiLuffy then you are either first off, lying to me or yourself to justify this impossible mindset or two you are asexual and have no sexual desires at all. Because as much as you wanna try and deny basic biological science of the human body, it's the one thing that cannot be debated.
is being a adult virgin a bad thing? I mean they say energy exchange with wrong person can be bad?
Ummm soon what are we actually to do with that?
This is all so esoteric... what about how my body hurts from being aroused and frustrated? lol. Still sounds like repression.
"Esoteric," is that what I'm describing? No, no it isn't. To me the language sounds poetic, not practical or even educated (unless education involves the manner of expression instead of the expression itself).
No, I think the crux of this video is at 2:14 talking about redeeming love. How can it be redeemed? By using it for it's intended purpose. There are many ways to do that so it's not an easy answer. I sum it up in my head as loving my wife as I would want her to love me. As purity and not slopy seconds (or fourteenths [or four hundred and fifty-secondths]). Eeew....
The answer of "what can be done" ... an action that requires work ... is different for everybody and also the situation. That is why I believe most people discussing the topic use such gruely, disproportionate, and vile explanations that nearly walk around the topic entirely.
Is he correct? Yes. Did he teach well? I don't believe he even tackled the issue.
I sympathise, (you might want to get a check up) it hurts but we all need to suppress our desires. I do not really know what he is on about. I am guessing the negative connotations of repression is why but it is an integral part of being humans and living an ordered life.
Struggling with this too right now!
*Here is some practical advice how you can overcome the sin of lust*
A. A life of prayer. Every time the devil or concupiscence of the flesh introduces a sexual thought into your mind you reject it and run to Jesus and Mary. Rely on them, not on yourself. (Prayers: morning and evening offerings, act of contrition, daily rosary, if possible daily Mass).
B. Lead a Sacramental Life. Worthy reception of the Sacraments of Confession and of Holy Communion primarily. Attending Mass even without receiving Holy Communion is beneficial (spiritual communion).
C. Spiritual reading. Read the Catechism, and the Saints or listen to them or good Priests to know how to defeat lust.
D. Remove all near occasions of sin from your life. For example, if you struggle with pornography you don't use your computer or phone when you are alone by yourself. Just as if you were someone struggling to overcome drunkenness, it would not be wise to go to the bar after work or have alcoholic drinks at home.
E. Ask Jesus and Mary for the graces to purify your memory.
F. Keep custody of your senses, especially your sight. If you see an immodestly dressed man or woman, turn your gaze away from them and pray for them and for yourself until you overcome the temptation. This includes turning your imagination to Jesus on the Cross and Mary at the foot of the Cross. Or any other aspect of their lives on earth or in heaven that helps you.
G. Deliverance prayer - In the name of Jesus, I reject you spirit of lust and I bind and cast you to the foot of the Cross to be judged and sentenced by my Lord Jesus Christ. Through Christ my Lord and through the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Amen.
H. Unite your sufferings to the sufferings of Our Redeemer in His passion.
Man's life on earth is a warfare. - Job. If you are a Christian, especially a Catholic, you know you are in a constant battle against the devil until the moment of our death. This is part of picking up our Cross and following after Him. The easy thing to do is to lay down and let the devil conquer us, do NOT choose the easy path. Broad is the road that leads to destruction.
@@johnnotrealname8168 science has shown there are physical mental and emotional negative health effects from abstaining from sex too long.
Maybe sometimes marriage isn't always for everyone. Maybe some people may have a different calling. Either way we are called to holiness.😐
God bless
So, if I'm understanding this correctly, in sex one should not seek out their own pleasure at all and should focus solely on the pleasure of the spouse? I just don't see any appeal to that. It just sounds like slavery. Should I also go off with a woman who will treat me badly since it would be selfish to want one that treats me well?
He's trying to say you should focus in their pleasure and not yours, but she should do the same. That's how it should be. Unfortunately, it's not always a two-way street. Alot of times it ends up one-sided.
Disclaimer: I'm athiest, raised protestant, I'm here because I find the catholic faith and traditions fascinating, particularly in regards to teachings about sex and love. But then, who doesn't find it interesting, at the very least from a novel perspective, if you're, say, an asexual who is not repulsed?
Anyway. I see a lot of questions in the comments along this vein, and I have the same one; what does it look like, turning that desire over to Jesus?
Personally, and perhaps ironically considering I'm not a person of faith, I have no problem with the part of the message that preceeds that; that of turning sexual passion toward the original intent for it, which is to express deep love for another and to "become co-creators" with God, in his image.
I believe it's by pure happenstance I understand that, because, while I don't like slapping labels on something as complex as my sexual desire, I have noticed the term "demisexual" is very appropriate to describe my experience. That is, I only experience that desire for someone I love and want to be connected with for life, regardless of whether we actually engage in the act or not. That's not to say I experience that for all my friends. My love for them is purely platonic. Nor does it mean I have no sexual drive. What it does mean is that sexual desire is only directed at someone I want to be and stay cinnected with for hopefully the rest of my life. That, given the good luck, I would also marry them.
From my perspective as an outsider, and with the scripture I have read, this seems to be what the Bible teaches as being the correct way. Love and the sexual expression of that love is a divine gift, to be celebrated through the union of the married couple.
Sex outside of the marriage bed is viewed by the bible as fornication, which is a sin. I think it's 1st Corinthians.....5(?) maybe which says something about how, if a man feels he can't control his passion for his "virgin" /beloved, "it is no sin, let them marry". He says in verses a few lines down I think something like it's better to be chaste than not, ("he that giveth her in marriage do well, but he that giveth not her in marriage doeth better"). Of course, don't quote me on that, and....the last line seems to be a point of confusion about whether he's speaking to fathers of daughters or men in love, but I digress. That's the interpretation I came away with...that it's better to be chaste with someone you love (love being the operative word I think), but if you feel you cannot, you're bursting with passion for them...then it's not a bad thing, you should just marry them.
In Matthew, (17? Can't remember) Jesus says, in response to questions about marriage and divorce, that divorce shouldn't be undertaken except in cases of fornication, and that if you do divorce and remarry for another reason, it's considered adultery, another sin.
The people asking the question respond "oh, sounds like if that's the way it is between a man and woman, maybe it's better to never marry"
Jesus responds that not everyone can "recieve that saying, save to whom it's given" (my interpretation of that is he means "not everyone can just remain celibate and never marry, after all, God made us sexual beings, too, though there are some who are gifted by being able to just remain celibate and not stray from it").
Then he says there are some who are born "Eunuchs", some who are made that way through no choice of their own, and some who are Eunuchs "For the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven", and that not all men have "received " that.
Then there's "Song of Songs" which some interpret as an expression of Jesus' divine marriage to the church, and some interpret, since Hebrew love poetry was popular at the time it was likely written, to be an expression and celebration of one of the greatest gifts God gave to mankind; mutual love between two lovers, such that they have only eyes for each other.
From what I've read so far, all that seems pretty consistent in saying that some are gifted to be able to remain celibate and their spirit has control over passions of the flesh, but that also, sexual urges are normal and a gift from God, but they are originally meant to direct someone to be with their spouse, someone they love and cherish more than all others.
A lot of the passages usually referenced in relation to apllying principles in the bible to the cincept of masturbation seem to be from Corinthians, and they reference dominion of the spirit over the passions of the body, in other words, self control. However, there is no direct reference to masturbation in the bible.
Since I'm athiest, a spiritual counselor would probably be better for those of faith on the subject, but the way I interpret those passages in Corinthians after reading them is that we shouldn't let lustful thoughts completely rule our lives...however, that seems to be warning against the dangers of something like a sexual disorder; an addiction to masturbation such that it makes you disordered; interferes with your daily life, has negative consequences, etc. I don't personally see why it would be a sin to masturbate, then, in the effort to simply let those urges run their course without fornicating, if the masturbation is done with the intent *not* to commit something explicitly referenced as a sin.
Some reference that since sex was meant to spur one towards God's plan for it, which is marriage, then surely masturbation must be a sin as it has only to do with the release of those urges. However, if one is also meant to take pleasure when they do become married and celebrate the gift that is sex with their spouse, if they have never masturbated, always abstained, that would be repression, and it would be no wonder if they prevented themselves from knowing how to help show their spouse what pleases them, so their partner can know them best. So...to me it seems completely natural to occasionally do that, just not to let it take over your life. Like having an addiction to porn, or spending every bit of time you get alone masturbating, for example.
But again...atheist, and that's my own interpretation.
In effort to ensure one does not become disordered and ruled by their urges, is "turning it over to Jesus" to mean keeping your mind preoccupied with other types of passion, like spiritual and mental passions? That may help ease it somewhat, but for someone going through a crazy hormonal period, that might be inadequate, especially if they're still learning, still trying to grasp these teachings, and understand what having passion in their faith even means, or feels like.
That said...the message about redemption and that we're imperfect may explain that, too. If you feel that urge and masturbate, it's normal, but imperfect and that is why you need to repent, but...I also don't see how repentance, true repentance, can take place if there is no guilt for the act. And encouraging someone to feel guilty for the act does sound like the heart of repression. We're not supposed to sin according to the bible, and then "repent", knowing for sure that we will repeat that act, that we have no intention of stopping ourselves. You're supposed to repent with intent of not doing that thing again, that thing which is mentioned to be a sin. So...yeah. even with the scripture, and the info in this video, I have trouble understanding what is really being said.
How does sexuality give us the power to love divinely, specifically?
Love means, "To will the Good of another," per RCIA at my parish. It is a command, not an emotion, in this context.
For a married man & wife, to help God bring about a newborn person is Good.
Hope this answer helps.
@@user-hu4gr1bo5g What about singles and religious?
Sexuality is fruitfulness, the power to create and co-create with God. God created this world as an outpouring of love, and when our sexuality is fully integrated into our person, the more fruitful we become (whether it be spiritually or biologically). At least, that’s my take on it.
@@ChaZarudo All of your desires point you to God. That's what is to be achieved by sexual redemption as Christopher calls it.
@@intedominesperavi6036 how?
The universe has not sent mine to me yet
Sorry, where are you getting the interpretation of wine being an allegory for sexual desire? This is reaching… and seems ungrounded in any theology I’ve come across
How do you say this video is about sexual repression without actually saying it's sexual repression?
Well yeah, of course you should repress lust
@cardboardcapeii4286and why should people repress a natural biological part of being human? When you're starving, you eat. When you're thirsty, you drink something. When you're exhausted, you sleep. This is no different.
@@ashleyspurling5701 because sex is for marriage because it creates children. If you want to have sex, try to get married
@@cardboardcapeii4286 only in the minds of shameful bigots like you.
@cardboardcapeii4286 easier said then done. Not realistic at all.
How to achieve sexual redemption?
*Here is how you can overcome the sin of lust*
A. A life of prayer. Every time the devil or concupiscence of the flesh introduces a sexual thought into your mind you reject it and run to Jesus and Mary. Rely on them, not on yourself. (Prayers: morning and evening offerings, act of contrition, daily rosary, if possible daily Mass).
B. Lead a Sacramental Life. Worthy reception of the Sacraments of Confession and of Holy Communion primarily. Attending Mass even without receiving Holy Communion is beneficial (spiritual communion).
C. Spiritual reading. Read the Catechism, and the Saints or listen to them or good Priests to know how to defeat lust.
D. Remove all near occasions of sin from your life. For example, if you struggle with pornography you don't use your computer or phone when you are alone by yourself. Just as if you were someone struggling to overcome drunkenness, it would not be wise to go to the bar after work or have alcoholic drinks at home.
E. Ask Jesus and Mary for the graces to purify your memory.
F. Keep custody of your senses, especially your sight. If you see an immodestly dressed man or woman, turn your gaze away and pray for them and for yourself until you overcome the temptation. This includes turning your imagination to Jesus on the Cross and Mary at the foot of the Cross. Or any other aspect of their lives on earth or in heaven.
G. Deliverance prayer - In the name of Jesus, I reject you spirit of lust and I bind and cast you to the foot of the Cross to be judged and sentenced by my Lord Jesus Christ. Through Christ my Lord and through the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Amen.
H. Strive to grow in all of the virtues. Chastity is merely a sub-virtue of the cardinal virtue of temperance. Work on fasting and abstinence from meat as well, every Friday. Then add Wednesdays to the mix. Lent is coming up.
Still confused... If we don't suppress the desires and have them come back with e vengeance, what exactly do we do?
We elevate these desires to Christ and He redeems them.
Good question
*Here is how you can overcome the sin of lust*
A. A life of prayer. Every time the devil or concupiscence of the flesh introduces a sexual thought into your mind you reject it and run to Jesus and Mary. Rely on them, not on yourself. (Prayers: morning and evening offerings, act of contrition, daily rosary, if possible daily Mass).
B. Lead a Sacramental Life. Worthy reception of the Sacraments of Confession and of Holy Communion primarily. Attending Mass even without receiving Holy Communion is beneficial (spiritual communion).
C. Spiritual reading. Read the Catechism, and the Saints or listen to them or good Priests to know how to defeat lust.
D. Remove all near occasions of sin from your life. For example, if you struggle with pornography you don't use your computer or phone when you are alone by yourself. Just as if you were someone struggling to overcome drunkenness, it would not be wise to go to the bar after work or have alcoholic drinks at home.
E. Ask Jesus and Mary for the graces to purify your memory.
F. Keep custody of your senses, especially your sight. If you see an immodestly dressed man or woman, turn your gaze away and pray for them and for yourself until you overcome the temptation. This includes turning your imagination to Jesus on the Cross and Mary at the foot of the Cross. Or any other aspect of their lives on earth or in heaven.
G. Deliverance prayer - In the name of Jesus, I reject you spirit of lust and I bind and cast you to the foot of the Cross to be judged and sentenced by my Lord Jesus Christ. Through Christ my Lord and through the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Amen.
H. Strive to grow in all of the virtues. Chastity is merely a sub-virtue of the cardinal virtue of temperance. Work on fasting and abstinence from meat as well, every Friday. Then add Wednesdays to the mix. Lent is coming up.
@@anoop_72 and that makes no sense. How do we do that physically?
@@ashleyspurling5701 Pray to Christ and He gives us the grace.
Dr. West,
The Miss universe just ended. May I ask if pageantry objectify women?
Yes. No serious Christian should be watching that and 98% of what is in the entertainment industry. Immodesty is the norm in our pornified world, why would you submit yourself to that. We are called to keep good custody of our senses (sight included) and of our mind.
Of course it does, along with pornography, social media, and countless other forms of temptation. I mean objectifying women and children is almost the main theme of humanity…
😇
🙏❤️❤️
I always wonder if there's anything inside that mug.
i LOVE youu
Interesting rationalization. So sexual desire for your wife is not lust? Hmmm... Where does logic reside in that? Suddenly because of words lust is no longer a deadly sin after marriage ? Logic absent again.
Hello and thank you for your honest question. Here's a video that might help ua-cam.com/video/C2_1QAL_t8M/v-deo.htmlsi=GtDcmnkL8ADNX5SE
Self denial is the Christian life and taking every thought captive is also. And they are part of holy living.
Isaiah 55 v 7 : Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him;
We are told we can be totally changed by the RENOVATION of our mind.. Romans 12 v 2.
Not by thinking you can get away with looking at a woman when they are dressed seductively.
Revelations " The Elect of God, who are not defiled with women "
This guy really seems like a great speaker, and I’m sure he’d be able to address other topics magnificently. But on this one, he’s just provided some more flowery generalities, divine philosophies, pretentious interpretations. None of which would vaguely help anyone dealing with this problem. Nothing practical. And it’s exactly what I expected. You wonder why the church never speaks about sex? Why it’s so taboo despite playing a huge part in our lives? I’m truly starting to believe that it’s because there is no good answer. There is nothing that you can do practically that the bible would endorse. And nobody is brave enough to admit that they don’t have an answer. Call me superficial, but this topic alone is making me question my religion. It almost seems cruel and incompatible with how we were built; a doctrine where suffering is inevitable.
It’s fair to say the Church has always taught that suffering is inevitable, but that Christ came down to bring a divine dignity to that suffering so it could bear spiritual fruit. Uniting our suffering to Christ is what makes suffering worth it because we can’t escape it. Sexual desire is just another aspect, we’ll suffer as we try to not indulge our strong passions but that suffering helps us grow spiritually. God bless you and I hope you find the hope and faith you need to continue down this path.
These are my thoughts too! I tend to think only Jesus can answer my questions. Sigh
Perhaps Aquinas’ 4 ways of combatting lust would be something to look into?
"cruel and incompatible with the way we're built" is a great way to put it, and the arguments are never solid enough for me to overcome my doubt in the Church's positions on sex.
Its a bit of a cruel joke isn't? There are no real answers from the church, because there trapped by the same circular logic creationist use, you have to remember the people authored the bible , thought the world was flat ,and the sun circled the earth. Why do we need self imposed suffering, when there is enough of it to go around, that is out of our control?
Exactly WHERE in the bible does it say that masturbation with oneself is a sin??? I want straight scripture, and not a scripture that one can "interpret" in different ways. If a Christian masterbates in order to not commit fornication or adultery, I see absolutely no problem with that. Actually, I see it as an admirable characteristic insofar as obeying God's word is concerned rather than a condemning one. The vast majority of people wouldn't be willing to substitute actual sex with another person with masturbation.
Stimulation of the genitals is only for marriage
If you're true to yourself and know you could have all the women you want but decide to masturbate instead, then yes it is admirable. But if you do it because you can't get any woman to have sex with you, then no.
It's like fasting because you don't have any food. It doesn't count.
Still sounds like suppression. At times sexual energy ( horniness) is stronger than the the need to eat and satisfy one's hunger. I imagine this Doctor guy is happily married and... Yeah, problem solved. To say that all we do is lust after another's body is cut and dry and incorrect. We yearn for love making. So my sexual urges come from a fallen nature, perverted by original sin....wish I could see a bright side in all of this... redemption means freedom from.. breaking from enslavement...I do not share his enthusiasm.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. If you'd be open to a deeper explanation of the topic and the reasoning behind it, Christopher has a best selling book where he goes deep into these issues. You can find it here: shop.corproject.com/products/good-news-about-sex-and-marriage
When we memorize scripture alone, in faith in Jesus alone, when we spend time alone in prayer and continue in prayer to our Father at all times, we can bring all thoughts to submission to Christ who is our only intercessor.... To think He is praying for you, for me... To be conformed to the image of Christ. We need to know that sex is not a sin but a blessing in the marriage bed.
Wasn't for me. In fact, waiting and repressing my sexual nature for so long ruined sex for me.
This false prophet doesn't cite one Bible verse. Colossians 3:5-6; Away then with sinful, earthly things; deaden the evil desires lurking within you; have nothing to do with sexual sin, impurity, lust, and shameful desires; don’t worship the good things of life, for that is idolatry. God’s terrible anger is upon those who do such things. (or 1 Cor 6:9-11, 2 Cor 12:21, or Rev. 21:8)
He’s literally saying don’t indulge in that
Incorrect. This false prophet invents his own explanations for Adam/Eve and Jesus at the wedding. He cites no Bible verses at all.@@operationthrash9645
Where?
@@operationthrash9645
I’m sorry dr christopher west. Please speak English. You are not giving a clear practical answer.
Are you just saying just live with it with the power of god ? Then let’s just be direct .
Thank you for your comment. If you'd be open to a deeper explanation of the topic and the reasoning and practical application for it, Christopher has a best selling book where he goes deep into it. You can find it here: shop.corproject.com/products/good-news-about-sex-and-marriage or you can go through the playlist: ua-cam.com/play/PLAbqXQaOvkM4Q01szl54g7Sj9mJ8bfKf0.html&si=zZG7qYfniz9J_KKB
round of applause for all the born again believers that went through puberty with pharisee parents that knew everything except the Gospel
Pseudo intellectual babble