how i stopped hating myself & how you can too.

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  • Опубліковано 22 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,8 тис.

  • @joelymatthews9627
    @joelymatthews9627 4 роки тому +8712

    half my insecurities i didn’t even know existed until someone pointed them out

    • @sokkvabekkr5973
      @sokkvabekkr5973 4 роки тому +394

      they probably werent insecurities until people pointed them out

    • @joelymatthews9627
      @joelymatthews9627 4 роки тому +41

      ‡ shelleysmonster ‡ ur right lol

    • @miranda725
      @miranda725 4 роки тому +193

      And those someones actually have that insecurity, they just project onto others

    • @oyemate8647
      @oyemate8647 4 роки тому +74

      miranda725 yup, my ex best friend hated her calves and then she got me into thinking i didnt like mine. Thank you, mate

    • @Im_inside_your_walls_teehee
      @Im_inside_your_walls_teehee 4 роки тому +42

      same
      I was never insecure about thigh gaps until I saw a video that said "how to get a thigh gap" and I started noticing I don't and torturing myself over it

  • @elvih7171
    @elvih7171 4 роки тому +8990

    The ad before this, "How to burn fat fast!" Like honey read the room

  • @LikeJimbo
    @LikeJimbo 4 роки тому +7752

    Nicole: Ladiez
    Me, 23 year old straight male: HEEEEY

  • @justsomecyborg788
    @justsomecyborg788 4 роки тому +6462

    I heard a girl say once that she grew up in an environment where body image was never talked about, there was no “your hair looks great” or any compliments directed towards appearance, it was always “you are so smart” or “you did great”, the compliments were directed towards her character, and she carried this out into her life and how she complimented others. She never thinks about people in the way they look, it’s in their character, and said she never developed body image issues. I thought that was really powerful and something important to think about

    • @pekopeko0619_
      @pekopeko0619_ 4 роки тому +37

      Rachel Kogan I wiSH 😔

    • @youmeandi100
      @youmeandi100 4 роки тому +114

      same thing with me! only realized other people weren't raised like this when I was a teenager

    • @miles4543
      @miles4543 4 роки тому +121

      i grew up similarly but i’m super unconfident because nobody told me i was pretty nobody said i looked good that day none of that it was just praising me for my grades among other things which led to me feeling that nobody thought i was pretty nobody thought anything like that which made me feel i wasn’t pretty and everyone didn’t like me but we all react to things differently

    • @evie9629
      @evie9629 4 роки тому +17

      @@miles4543 same! thats before.... now im in college, i don't care what people thinks of me anymore (just a lil bit hahaha).

    • @Light-cy1gp
      @Light-cy1gp 4 роки тому +27

      thanks for sharing this with us , i think compliments on looks and smarts and good character , kindness , respect, live should all co-exist with each other so the person can become a well rounded person

  • @julienielsen7460
    @julienielsen7460 4 роки тому +5887

    The big sister we all need

  • @stepho4513
    @stepho4513 4 роки тому +2494

    from now on, when someone unfollows me, i will simply accredit it to me being so hot i make them feel self conscious... unlikely but... ignorance is bliss

    • @jesslu1966
      @jesslu1966 4 роки тому +55

      I deleted ins, then I don’t have to see them unfollow them 😌 my world is peaceful

    • @evelynmartinez7564
      @evelynmartinez7564 4 роки тому +2

      Yaaaasss girlll

    • @catcentral696
      @catcentral696 4 роки тому +5

      Wait I didn’t look at it like that lmao

    • @Hannah-ur3pt
      @Hannah-ur3pt 4 роки тому +31

      Even better: stop looking at who unfollows you. Just think of like its their opinion so its nothing to do with you 🤷‍♀️

    • @Fiadayy
      @Fiadayy 4 роки тому +20

      This is great. I am not a big fan of insta but I must admit that I admire those girls who don't give a damn about how many likes theirs posts get and they just keep on posting pics of whatever they want, even if it dont get that much likes. And you can see they genuinely enjoy life and feel confident about themselves. Idk if this comment makes sense, but...yeahh, I had to get it off my chest 😂

  • @victoriainoue2018
    @victoriainoue2018 4 роки тому +5471

    Nicole is like that girl that u meet in the bathroom during a random party that makes u feel awesome during the rest of the night because they said u are pretty, that she loves ur dress and that u are worth it. -i’m going to cry, cause nicole liked my comment BUT i realized i wrote ur instead of u are and i EDITED the comment and now the like is gone, i hate myself-

  • @dazedjupiter9073
    @dazedjupiter9073 4 роки тому +3491

    tip from me to u: replace self deprecating jokes with jokes that u would hear a person w a big ego say! for example i went to the store w a friend and we walked past the makeup section and she said "beauty products? finally i'll be beautiful.." replace that with "beauty products?? as if i need to be any more beautiful" it sounds stupid but just saying nice stuff about yourself affirms the idea in ur head and then u actually feel better ab urself

    • @ari-ly6rz
      @ari-ly6rz 4 роки тому +104

      Man, you're saint

    • @jinxisbananas6024
      @jinxisbananas6024 4 роки тому +208

      I actually started doing that and my self-confidence shot up DRAMATICALLY

    • @naz4488
      @naz4488 4 роки тому +64

      Can confirm it works

    • @naniidoodles
      @naniidoodles 4 роки тому +23

      Thank you for the idea! I'll try this

    • @i.l2282
      @i.l2282 4 роки тому +53

      Been doing this idc if i sound cocky I just love myself

  • @victoriagillerlain
    @victoriagillerlain 4 роки тому +5230

    “Bloating is normal.”
    We need this message more for young women.

    • @starhill6792
      @starhill6792 4 роки тому +27

      We do!! My doctor thinks I have IBS and almost every day I wake up bloated & in pain. I feel so insecure about it..

    • @samantham4383
      @samantham4383 4 роки тому +52

      I'm 13 and i can get really bloated, especially closer to my period. And i didnt know that other people got bloated for soooo long

    • @lmaf132
      @lmaf132 4 роки тому +30

      Samantha M i literally always get bloated after eating something. Especiallyyyyy during my period, you’re fine sis dw!

    • @crookedprojects
      @crookedprojects 4 роки тому +24

      i get bloated often because i drink much water every day... so it's a good sign right? 😂

    • @bethanyb7283
      @bethanyb7283 4 роки тому +13

      @@crookedprojects might help if you drink slower or stop drinking through a straw (if you are, idk) because straws can put more air in your belly x

  • @lilygreen4000
    @lilygreen4000 4 роки тому +1687

    I deleted my Instagram over a year ago for my mental health. It was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. Now I don’t have any social media and sometimes I’m “out of the loop” on the latest meme or trend or tea but I really don’t care. I’m free!

    • @nijaheva1511
      @nijaheva1511 4 роки тому +58

      girl me too , it's honestly rlly empowering yk

    • @sillyer2
      @sillyer2 4 роки тому +28

      i love this comment

    • @echobean5222
      @echobean5222 4 роки тому +16

      I did this with FB like 2 years ago and I totally support it. Also I have a job that gets shit on frequently online so it was a huuuge stress relief

    • @jesslu1966
      @jesslu1966 4 роки тому +25

      Hi same! Ins Snapchat and Facebook are all gone! Now I’m only hooked to UA-cam lol

    • @ruthcdsilva
      @ruthcdsilva 4 роки тому +30

      Did the same a month ago! When you don't miss being on social media, you realize it wasn't imp in thr first place.

  • @GrahamSlam
    @GrahamSlam 4 роки тому +3330

    I have hip dips. Never even noticed until everyone started pointing their's out online.
    Wow. Pretty sure this is my first comment to reach 1k likes on youtube. Thanks Ladies! Glad we could relate.

    • @kaseyvaldez8847
      @kaseyvaldez8847 4 роки тому +29

      Same!

    • @junedaniel2981
      @junedaniel2981 4 роки тому +150

      me too! but i like my hip dips (and hip dips in general) i don’t understand why some people find it unattractive

    • @cattrickie
      @cattrickie 4 роки тому +2

      what are hips dips

    • @AndreaGonzalez-qf1cw
      @AndreaGonzalez-qf1cw 4 роки тому +35

      I think they’re just there you know. I don’t think they’re unattractive but i also don’t think they’re attractive

    • @edidi5717
      @edidi5717 4 роки тому

      @@cattrickie this video explains it

  • @user-ci5dh1ps4g
    @user-ci5dh1ps4g 4 роки тому +1015

    Whenever I see a celebrity I think is attractive I look for one thing about them that is also like me. It's life-changing.

    • @duck8049
      @duck8049 4 роки тому +57

      Don’t know why that hit but it did- 🗿

    • @alyssacampos1010
      @alyssacampos1010 4 роки тому +31

      Bro wait a secon-

    • @alyssacampos1010
      @alyssacampos1010 4 роки тому +35

      GENIUS

    • @jamiem6088
      @jamiem6088 4 роки тому +26

      HOLD ON YOU MIGHT HAVE DONE SOMETHING

    • @Redqueen-rk800
      @Redqueen-rk800 4 роки тому +27

      you just saved my life. OMG. that is life changing. hope you a good day, good christmas and good 2021 'cause you literally saved me💕💕

  • @karinesok6872
    @karinesok6872 4 роки тому +1670

    *dead’s men shirt from the thrift store* - Nicole Rafiee

    • @erinvinson7801
      @erinvinson7801 4 роки тому +7

      stinky Kid bruh i thought she said from the first floor i went 😳

    • @damndanim
      @damndanim 4 роки тому +5

      I subscribed for that

    • @kaylalynn3421
      @kaylalynn3421 4 роки тому +1

      Need that on a shirt

    • @pmaugh_1818
      @pmaugh_1818 4 роки тому +2

      me in bed wearing a men’s extra large shirt that i got from a thrift store👁👄👁

  • @skyemc572
    @skyemc572 4 роки тому +882

    replace self deprecating jokes with self confident jokes. like saying “i look fucking great” out of nowhere will probably make someone laugh just as saying “i look fugly” does

  • @harryh1484
    @harryh1484 4 роки тому +916

    let’s face it. we all need this advice in quarantine.

  • @brookearrrttt4755
    @brookearrrttt4755 4 роки тому +430

    Here's a really good tip that I read once:
    Pretend that you're in a Studio Ghibli movie, learn to see the world with more saturation and light. If you focus on the good things then your brain will learn to automatically think that way.
    Stay safe lovelies

    • @bd-ps1gn
      @bd-ps1gn 3 роки тому +14

      This is the best advice i have seen till now. I have alwas loved Ghibli movies and they have mundane things in them making us see the beauty in daily life.

    • @livid2699
      @livid2699 3 роки тому +17

      One of my friends told me that Hayao Miazaki wanted to emphasize the loveliness of small details in Studio Ghibli movies so that he could help his audience fall in love with the small things in life! I think that's what makes the movies so pleasant to watch :)

    • @flamingaish
      @flamingaish 2 роки тому +1

      i always do that, works just fine :)

  • @rxnsmp
    @rxnsmp 3 роки тому +227

    1. cut out bad juju - f toxic standards, social media, people
    2. stop the self-depricating jokes - you'll start to feel that way since it's mind triggering. you basically manifest that
    3. romanticise your life - yolo so fall in love with it and yourself
    4. look up to ppl that look like you
    5. change what you don't like - in a healthy way - take care of yourself
    tips for confidence: -take pics/ vids for yourself
    - self care routine
    - don't wear makeup for a couple of days - let your face breathe & feel confident being natural
    - hype up others

  • @izzybillings1796
    @izzybillings1796 4 роки тому +235

    When I first got my stretch marks, I didn't know what they were, but thought they looked cool, like tiger stripes. But then once I learned what they were and that they meant I was "fat" I began to hate them. You aren't born self conscious, media and outside influence makes you hate these things about yourself that you should love and embrace.

    • @reverie8699
      @reverie8699 3 роки тому +4

      exactly.

    • @NegativeAccelerate
      @NegativeAccelerate 3 роки тому +9

      Oh I didn’t know they meant I was fat. U prolly just created a new insecurity for me.
      Nah jk I’m the skinniest person I know. And if stretch marks mean ur fat that’s a lie because I am bonier than most starving kids in Africa and I have them. I do have tight skin though. Like I’m bruised all along my hip bones and collar bones because my skin is so tight against those bones. So maybe it just means u have tight skin. Or you’re growing. Or you’re muscles are getting bigger. Cuz I am the opposite of fat and I have them so they can’t necessarily equate to being fat.

    • @leonie4322
      @leonie4322 3 роки тому +12

      strech marks are so fucking normal and whilst I'm definitely an insecure person, i don't let stretch marks/scars, body hair, wrinkles, hip dips, cellulite etc upset me because basically everyone has these things. but stretch marks for example - I have plenty of them. they came with puberty because I was and still am growing. I'm not gonna hate my body for growing??? and like you said, they look cool so whats the point of hating something so natural???

    • @izzybillings1796
      @izzybillings1796 3 роки тому +4

      @@NegativeAccelerate they definitely dont mean you’re fat! but thats what a lot of media and companies want us to think, but they’re completely normal and most people have them no matter their weight :]

    • @tobealonewithyou
      @tobealonewithyou 2 роки тому

      Exactly!

  • @jettwashed
    @jettwashed 4 роки тому +840

    nicole is the older sister we NEED

  • @jennyb8834
    @jennyb8834 4 роки тому +207

    The best advice ive heard to stop making self deprecating jokes is to replace them w self aggrandizing jokes. So if someone takes a picture of me where i dont like the way i look, instead of saying "ew im a potato" i might say "emily ratajkowski who?" This goes for so many things. If i draw smth and think its bad, i joke about how good it is instead, like "im just saying nobody has every seen me and picasso in a room together so.." this also works when someone else is putting you down. If someone points out my small butt im like "actually i think i might have the biggest butt...in the world? I cant even fit on most couches"

  • @emamunka6905
    @emamunka6905 4 роки тому +625

    She makes my sundays better.

  • @emmasmith6386
    @emmasmith6386 4 роки тому +99

    When people tell me that “Your so skinny”, it’s doesn’t give me confidence. That’s why I always try to stay the exact same weight because then I’m scared the next comment will be like “ you’ve gained some weight”. I’m so self conscious of people pointing out things about my body image, and Eventually I put my weight before mental health. I hold my self to a standard that’s not even possible. Once my teacher said that I was really smart, I WAS OVER THE MOON. That compliment seems so basic but it means so much more. It doesn’t make me feel like I am getting put to a standard. It makes me feel like I have more than just a skinny body , I’m more than just a slim girl , or an XS. I realized that I’m not the only girl out there that feels like they have to keep a “NORMAL” body.

  • @moonoxi2139
    @moonoxi2139 4 роки тому +441

    Whenever I see animals on tiktok I get so insecure😭 they are so cute and careless and even though they can't stop accidentally slamming their heads into the wall, they still surpass my intelligence

    • @domknv
      @domknv 4 роки тому +52

      HAHAHA what is this comment and why does it make me laugh so much

    • @baileysadler5212
      @baileysadler5212 4 роки тому +5

      Hahaha what the hell?!

    • @donutsarelife9735
      @donutsarelife9735 4 роки тому +8

      THIS MADE MY DAY I STG BAHAHAH

    • @avenue7713
      @avenue7713 4 роки тому +2

      PLS IM CRYING WHAT IS THIS

    • @devazeybek1881
      @devazeybek1881 3 роки тому

      LMFAO WHAT

  • @catinabin504
    @catinabin504 4 роки тому +2879

    Everyone needs a little bit of narcissism in their life.

    • @elianna1187
      @elianna1187 4 роки тому +18

      um no?

    • @saraholiver8942
      @saraholiver8942 4 роки тому +9

      Harry Styles ☺️😝

    • @Kay_lahM
      @Kay_lahM 4 роки тому +5

      @@saraholiver8942 I love that man 😭

    • @catinabin504
      @catinabin504 3 роки тому +13

      @kirby I understand but I'm saying we all need a little bit of everything to make us whole at the end

    • @Girly_Plop
      @Girly_Plop 3 роки тому

      I’m glad I have narcissistic tendencies ~ for once

  • @tissymay
    @tissymay 4 роки тому +436

    Self deprecating jokes are harmful for sure. There’s plenty of studies that prove that! You not only open the window for people to see your insecurities like you said, but you give people the opportunity to agree with you and make you feel worse about yourself. Great video!!! So glad I found your channel ❤️❤️

    • @oo8962
      @oo8962 2 роки тому

      I started to make self deprecating jokes because I want my friend to say "Nah, stop saying that. You're not"
      But unfortunately she agreed and even make more self deprecating jokes about me and also herself.
      Well...

  • @kyaferet1624
    @kyaferet1624 4 роки тому +973

    Nicole: how I stoped hating myself and you can too.
    Also nicole: hit the subscribe button or your disgusting.
    Me:👁👄👁

  • @kaitlynashleigh5370
    @kaitlynashleigh5370 4 роки тому +545

    this came at the perfect time I was JUST thinking about how much I hate myself ! as always ily nicole xoxo

    • @fernandapaixao6369
      @fernandapaixao6369 4 роки тому +13

      Kaitlyn Ashleigh i’m sorry this is so funny to me. like ah yes i hate myself but nicole’s got a new video

    • @aoifej9118
      @aoifej9118 4 роки тому

      SAME and i see that irish flag:)

  • @ninatobin8317
    @ninatobin8317 4 роки тому +81

    This video made me delete my “body goals” board on Pinterest thank u💕

    • @arianna654
      @arianna654 3 роки тому +19

      omg ik this is so late but seriously good for u I'm happy for u

  • @juliacamilleri4397
    @juliacamilleri4397 4 роки тому +82

    i was literally going through nose job videos and feeling super insecure and then she posts this !!! what a qUEEN

    • @han...123
      @han...123 4 роки тому +14

      Girl you are STUNNING 😍

  • @leiasart4610
    @leiasart4610 4 роки тому +215

    About self-depricating humour: It can be good if you're confident about what you're joking about. Like light hearted self deprication. If you joke about something you're insecure about, it usually shins through and some people will be uncomfortable too.

    • @alegranados4923
      @alegranados4923 4 роки тому +27

      It also lets an open door for people to joke about your insecurities n that will make you feel shittier

    • @leiasart4610
      @leiasart4610 4 роки тому +19

      @@alegranados4923 Absolutely! Joking about something you're insecure about is rarely a good idea. Occasionally it can be good to take some "punch" away from that ionsecurity, but it heavily depends on who you're joking with and how you feel when you do it etc., I personally try to just stay away from that a bit too. Instead joking about things you're actually good at or talented at tends to be much more of a fun experience lol

    • @oo8962
      @oo8962 2 роки тому

      When I make self deprecating jokes about how ugly I am, I feel like I'm half laughing and half crying inside because it's so freaking true :')

  • @laylapalladino9113
    @laylapalladino9113 4 роки тому +469

    nicole: tiktok is making girls so much more insecure ab everything
    me: yeah i was never insecure ab my back profile before..
    nicole:like the back profile thing!
    me: 😳 she do kinda be reading my mind doe

    • @briannamccray7947
      @briannamccray7947 4 роки тому +15

      literally the side profile thing made me not wanna leave my house 😔

    • @SugarStarz
      @SugarStarz 4 роки тому +12

      same thing with hip dips :/

    • @briannamccray7947
      @briannamccray7947 4 роки тому +10

      @@SugarStarz exactly! i didn't even know what was before tiktok

    • @xelith6157
      @xelith6157 4 роки тому +6

      Heh, I'm just insecure about my back because I have a really bad case of scoliosis. My hunchback is extremely noticable even when I stand or sit upright. I guess the pain is worse than the way it looks, though.

    • @bebe48
      @bebe48 4 роки тому

      @@xelith6157 im so sorry about that 🥺

  • @1hatemillie
    @1hatemillie 4 роки тому +47

    i took a cute pic of my face oil, blemishes and spots and it was actually pretty and it made me realise how much i love the way my body works

  • @kaylarodriguezm
    @kaylarodriguezm 4 роки тому +27

    I was completely myself my first day of middle school. I was confident, I wore whatever I wanted, and I was happy about myself until I let people get in my head. I saw ppl making fun of my outfits (which made me happy) and I never wore it again. What a shame I lost myself to fit in over the years.

  • @alexiaelaine
    @alexiaelaine 4 роки тому +43

    On the topic of self depreciating jokes and manifesting, going from saying to yourself "I look so ugly" to "I'm gorgeous" might not be as good as starting to tell yourself, "I don't look so bad today." Or "Ya know what I look alright." And build up from there, going 0 to 100 won't be the best bc you won't believe it right away. Hope this helps someone. :)

  • @whitneybanis9282
    @whitneybanis9282 4 роки тому +269

    As a non-binary person I claim Nicole as our favorite ally thx

  • @Capturia
    @Capturia 4 роки тому +37

    The background is geniunely the most atmospheric aesthetic thing ever ♡

  • @duaahassan1040
    @duaahassan1040 4 роки тому +90

    Considering the fact that u read all ur comments, just wanna let u know a friend sent me this inspired by you, claiming she saw a lot of me in your personality. After watching your video, I can’t imagine getting a better compliment than that!!💓 so much love!

    • @anmolfatima
      @anmolfatima 4 роки тому +4

      I'm the inspired friend and you both are really so alike. loads of respect❤️🥺

    • @duaahassan1040
      @duaahassan1040 4 роки тому +4

      Anmol Fatima i love u

  • @yas.s.
    @yas.s. 4 роки тому +60

    I don't think that self-deprecating jokes are funny at all, everytime someone does that I get "...well what do I do now do I help her or?????????" and I think this is just sad, honestly. And I totally feel you when you say that people that attract you are confident people, it's me 100%! Recently I lost interest in a cute guy because everything he said was self-deprecating, and at the same time I get myself having crushes in people that aren't necessarily good looking but UGH they personalities and confidence are so cool, I just want to be close to them, it's truly inspiring

    • @okaypearl
      @okaypearl 4 роки тому +7

      as someone who had a habit of making self deprecating jokes and was confronted by my friends who told me they don’t want me being mean to myself, it’s interesting to hear the other side of that. thank u for sharing ur point, being self deprecating really puts people off you and i’m making progress! :)

    • @yas.s.
      @yas.s. 4 роки тому +5

      @@okaypearl I'm really happy to hear that! I think it's okay to laugh at yourself sometimes, but because you're kinda having fun in a difficult situation, and not because your self depreciation reached a point of naturalization, you know? Hope you keep making progress, I'm pretty sure you must be a wonderful person to be around!

    • @okaypearl
      @okaypearl 4 роки тому +3

      @@yas.s. hey thank you so much for your kind words!

  • @romimikles3810
    @romimikles3810 4 роки тому +32

    Until last year i used to really hate myself inside & out,i remember i used to avoid mirrors or everything that showed my reflection because i hated so much the way i looked,so i decided to loose some weight and it did helped me to gain some self loving + confidence, but did it helped me loving who i am? NO.
    I find myself constantly hating and judging my thoghts and things i do or say,and i'm just done with it,i wanna love myself and be happy with myself,and then this video showed up,and althogh i just saw it for the first time,i think it can really help me,i hope so

  • @em.n.emily7
    @em.n.emily7 3 роки тому +11

    “Comparison is the thief of joy” 🙌🏼✨💕

  • @brunagarcia9550
    @brunagarcia9550 4 роки тому +44

    I know this does not matter, but today I deep cleaned my room and got rid of all the things that reminded of all the toxic people that I had in my life and I thought it was going to be hard but I did it while listening to all of your podcast episodes and it made everything easier.
    A true terapy, thank u Nikky Nasty!
    Love from Portugal 🥰

    • @suhae2175
      @suhae2175 4 роки тому +2

      Cleaning your room is really important, you're on the right road!

  • @Mari-kc9ek
    @Mari-kc9ek 4 роки тому +76

    Whenever I feel insecure about certain features of mine, I like to go through old family photos or go through my ancestry account. It reminds me that those features mark a part of my heritage and the family before me, so I should take pride in them for they are what make me up as a person.

    • @user-hplt
      @user-hplt 3 роки тому +3

      ik you made this comment 5 months ago but this really blew my mind, thank you for saying this :)) I'm vietnamese and chinese so this hits different as it's hard for me to even find others that look like me and then be like "they're pretty and I look like them so I'm pretty". but thinking about my features as a living record of my family's heritage and history... that's powerful.

  • @han...123
    @han...123 4 роки тому +65

    Each of your facial features perfectly compliment each other...the gorgeous brows, the slightly wavey hair, your brain with the humour of the gods and wisdom of the underworld💕💕💕

  • @talaysiagillespie
    @talaysiagillespie 4 роки тому +11

    I came back six months later, and I’ve completely changed my life with this advice. I absolutely love myself. 🥰

  • @afreen610
    @afreen610 4 роки тому +26

    I find it really interesting how early experiences can really shape how you behave and feel about yourself as an adult. For me, the self deprecating jokes began when I was about 11-13 (I'm 20 now) because I was being aggressively bullied. So then I would make jokes about myself before anyone else could make fun of me, and in the end it worked. All those bullies somehow slowly became 'friends' because they thought I was funny, and I feel like thats fed in to a lot of the really bad relationships (majority platonic) i've formed along the way.
    Someone being friends with you because they take amusement in how you hate yourself is not okay. And it is these relationships that always make a lack of self worth worse.
    Really loved this video, here's to trying to unlearn old defence mechanisms and to getting closer to self love

  • @danielleserencses
    @danielleserencses 4 роки тому +45

    ik you'll never see this, but your my role model, ive just found you recently. but ik your gunna make my life so much better, I unfollowed people who make my question my worth/looks and kept following people who bring the bright happy crazy side out of me. I love you so much. that's it have a fantastic day beautiful

    • @alyssacampos1010
      @alyssacampos1010 4 роки тому +5

      OMG I literally did the same thing right now. I came from her rather video about not caring what people think and right after, I unfollowed everyone that made me not feel good about myself and made me insecure/sad. Like I just took out all the negative influencers/youtubers in my life and just kept the ones that make me feel good and make me laugh and most importantly bring positivity into my life. It's awesome now

  • @RS-zj4ww
    @RS-zj4ww 4 роки тому +17

    Once a bald middle aged man told me "Why would I pay to look better for other people, I don't see myself from outside." and it was kind of a joke but it hit me, literally why do we even try so hard to be desirable???

    • @Aaztha
      @Aaztha 3 роки тому

      this is god tier perspective i love this

    • @oo8962
      @oo8962 2 роки тому

      Because mirror exist and if I accidentally see myself in the mirror I won't feel that disgusted and then the image of my ugly self would haunt me for approximately two full days at least.

  • @ahoyitskait
    @ahoyitskait 4 роки тому +12

    I be having confidence in my bedroom and as soon as I leave it I feel nonexistent to the world

  • @brennnabean
    @brennnabean 4 роки тому +25

    I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa in 2010. You have no idea how much this video means to me. Thank you 🥺

    • @penw4040
      @penw4040 4 роки тому +2

      Bless you! Hope you are doing great now and remember that there is always someone to listen and offer help xoxo

  • @ramen77709
    @ramen77709 4 роки тому +11

    love how you always tell us how to be confident in ourselves & call us disgusting at the end xd

  • @jostelynjames1590
    @jostelynjames1590 4 роки тому +44

    This was actually very enlightening and you do it in a way that is entertaining but still being serious at the same time. Thank you

  • @jianayune
    @jianayune 4 роки тому +6

    i feel emotionally connected with everything she said because i recently discovering self love after yeaaars of struggling with insecurity, when she said record yourself when you feel beautiful i did thaat and it worksss!!

  • @ClaireBurgi
    @ClaireBurgi 4 роки тому +6

    I LOVE this. I finally decided to love my natural silvering hair after dying it for ten years and it's the best decision I've ever made for myself. Loving yourself is power!!!

  • @tonemartinez8100
    @tonemartinez8100 4 роки тому +3

    I'm recovering from an eating disorder and trying to learn to respect and like myself a little bit more everything, your video about unfollowing people on social media HELP ME A LOT, I totally change my way of consuming social media, thank you so much, and this video is amazing! ❤️

  • @zosiastanton
    @zosiastanton 4 роки тому +21

    perfect timing

  • @avas.6294
    @avas.6294 4 роки тому +6

    ive always hated the way my body looked (especially my legs). and I compare myself to people way to often. watching your videos you make about these topics just opens up my eyes and helps me realize that im beautiful and I don't need to focus on other peoples opinions when the only one that matters is my own. im young and in middle school and I feel if I apply self confidence and good mental health earlier I can go through my life doing what I want and believing what I want. im trying to love myself more and love my legs more! also ive had a really hard time believing what I see in the mirror. like I like the way I look in the mirror but I think I look fatter to other people when the person in the mirror is me. idk its hard to explain but I think I look better in the mirror and irl I don't look like that when the mirror is literally what I look like but I cant accept it for some reason but ill try to do that.

  • @Shlebss
    @Shlebss 4 роки тому +210

    No one:
    Nicole: in a dead mans shirt from the thrift store

  • @hiimnobody6939
    @hiimnobody6939 4 роки тому +3

    i am a very insecure person and i have only watched two of your vids but i feel better knowing your experience and i feel better about myself so tysm for that and keeping it real- i now look up to you as a person tbh.

  • @maddysunter
    @maddysunter 4 роки тому +19

    quarantine has been pushing me back into my self-hatred so this is exactly what i’ve needed. thank you!

  • @Adathong
    @Adathong 4 роки тому +2

    Girl its 2 in the morning and im extremely tired, but i was so dedicated to watch this whole video because i'm trying to boost my confidence!! Also I can relate to "not commenting when commenting in your head" so that is why i am commenting now.

  • @LexCraft12
    @LexCraft12 4 роки тому +29

    youre literally the sweetest most genuine youtuber ive found in a while and i really truly appreciate your content sooooo much

  • @charlotteaudrey8303
    @charlotteaudrey8303 4 роки тому +36

    me walking by my crush after this video: I’m am the baddest bleep in this whole school and nobody can tell me otherwise

  • @sorcellerie
    @sorcellerie 4 роки тому +168

    Nicole: ladiez
    Someone: why just ladies?
    Nasties™ in a full Marie Antoinette style costume with a cup of tea: thou want to course up with the etiquette

  • @michs4919
    @michs4919 4 роки тому +1

    Nicole the fact that you are humble enough to recognize areas of negativity and then make active efforts to change and improve is really awesome and shows a genuine and beautiful maturity

  • @lu2977
    @lu2977 4 роки тому +19

    OKAY CAN U STOP READING MY MIND I've been having shitty days with my confidence and stuff and this video came in the perfect time for me Thank u! Love u! And we missed u! Hope everything is going okay with your fam 🖤

  • @user-ci5dh1ps4g
    @user-ci5dh1ps4g 4 роки тому +134

    if guys can be a gender-neutral term so can ladiez

  • @emilypollock3618
    @emilypollock3618 4 роки тому +24

    Love this video and her positivty. Although as someone who has hip dips I've been not confident about my lack of hips since I was like 12 before I ever knew what hip dips were called.

    • @brooke5133
      @brooke5133 4 роки тому +4

      emily pollock same I think that’s because of the whole hourglass figure thing being the trend

    • @aghost9421
      @aghost9421 4 роки тому +2

      I have them too and I honestly thought I was the only one until a few weeks ago. It’s the body trends that make it so hard to accept them (for me at least)

    • @adaezenjoku7527
      @adaezenjoku7527 4 роки тому +4

      @@aghost9421 just remember that body trends change all the time. In the early 2000s it was an insult to tell someone a dress made their butt look big, now everyone wants one to the point of getting butt implants. What's attractive in societies eyes changes every couple of years, so you can't base your confidence on it because you cant keep trying to change your body to fit trends. Just try to be as healthy as you can, and i know this is easier said than done, but it's all we can really do.

  • @Karolina-jx1dt
    @Karolina-jx1dt 4 роки тому +3

    I have been reflecting over this too, and honestly the change in my mentality during the last 6 months makes me so happy :) I used to dislike myself a lot, but now i love myself and i just feel like i have a better outlook on life generally :))) i think this video is really important, and its something a lot of people need to think about. you did a great job putting this into words

  • @abbyegan-green1140
    @abbyegan-green1140 4 роки тому +8

    Why is this literally the best advice I've ever heard

  • @jasminefinch7885
    @jasminefinch7885 4 роки тому +2

    Thank you so much for this. Being a young teen it's really really hard especially in society today. I decided to delete tik tok and all social media accounts I felt like were doing me more harm than good. It's really easy to pinpoint little "insecurities" we have when most people don't even notice that it's a "flaw".

  • @spencerswaggie4420
    @spencerswaggie4420 4 роки тому +160

    Lmao the beginning is funny to me but it's literally me which is sad

    • @d1tzy875
      @d1tzy875 4 роки тому +13

      no self deprecating humour! i bet ur so cool xx

    • @spencerswaggie4420
      @spencerswaggie4420 4 роки тому +5

      PerfectlyImperfect I'm very cool

  • @bladez8589
    @bladez8589 4 роки тому +4

    There’s so much that I hate myself for and at this point I don’t know why I hate myself so now I don’t give a crap and I love myself!

  • @klys2608
    @klys2608 3 роки тому +6

    2 years ago, i hit an all-time low. everything went wrong in my life and i judged myself for everything i did. i would think, “wow, i’m so embarrassing.” or “i fucking hate myself.”
    my life started to get better a year later. every aspect of my life improved. and now whenever i embarrass myself, i say in a sarcastic manner (so my friends don’t think i’m serious), “oh damn i’m such a legend!”
    even if it’s obviously sarcastic, it helps.

  • @HannAhaha01
    @HannAhaha01 4 роки тому +3

    YES, love this! Hating parts of yourself or your appearance is such a waste of energy. We have so much more control over our perceptions of ourselves then we realise, so why not choose to love yourself?

  • @sofie9763
    @sofie9763 4 роки тому +4

    I have since December been on a journey of self-love and confidence. My life has become a lot better, though I still have a way to go. Thanks for this video :)

  • @madisongrace6297
    @madisongrace6297 4 роки тому +1

    being completely alone with my thoughts MINUS my typical insanely busy schedule has lowered my confidence so much, and you've said everything that's been on my mind. thank god i thought i was having a uniquely severe mental break :)

  • @saran5307
    @saran5307 4 роки тому +62

    confidence pro tip: when you feel really bad about yourself, reach out to friends and tell them what you love about them! It reminds you of all the good in your life (if you were really that horrible of a person, you wouldn't have them in your life!) AND they may even give you some love back!

    • @alyssacampos1010
      @alyssacampos1010 4 роки тому +2

      OK WAIT I LOVE THIS THO 🥺 thanks for the tip don't mind me taking a screenshot of this tehe ;)

    • @oo8962
      @oo8962 2 роки тому

      My friend (notice the lack of s here) would probably be like "Bruh, what's wrong with u?"
      Or maybe just leave me on read until 1 week later

  • @helenyvonnee3463
    @helenyvonnee3463 4 роки тому +8

    "Hi its just me, your fairy godvirgo" I'm already in love

  • @theremycrocks6861
    @theremycrocks6861 4 роки тому +23

    ‘Definitely gonna have stress poops later’ 😆😂 why do I relate to this so much

  • @porrokin3588
    @porrokin3588 3 роки тому

    i've been feeling absolutely horrible ever since last night and now specifically searched for this since i knew you made a video about the subject. thank you, i'll try to work on getting better

  • @hi-pc8ip
    @hi-pc8ip 4 роки тому +249

    Is it not normal to be really insecure as a child growing up? Lmao I hated myself since the BEGINNING

  • @domxria
    @domxria 4 роки тому +2

    Girl i loved this so much . I was like WOW we went through the same thing , from the comparing to the social media to the heavy makeup wearing in highschool and taking a break the summer after

  • @maja-rl6lk
    @maja-rl6lk 4 роки тому +5

    i loved this video - the colors, the aesthetic and the whole vibe, and most importantly how you talk and what you talk about. i needed this so much, thank you!

  • @akasyao6379
    @akasyao6379 3 роки тому +3

    Social media has made many people including myself insecure. Seeing girls on tiktok,Instagram looking absolutely perfect makes you question urself and ur image. We need to tell ourself that everyone is human and wether they look perfect or not no body is perfect no ones life is constantly perfect!!!!

  • @camrincosta4628
    @camrincosta4628 4 роки тому +20

    I'm a virgo and I think that everyone needs a godvirgo in their lives. In all seriousness I really needed this rn.

  • @carolinedoelger56
    @carolinedoelger56 4 роки тому

    ik this video is a month old but I came back to rewatch bc of how much of an impact it left on me, "comparison is the thief of joy" is my new life motto.
    ily nicole and you have no idea how much those words touched me

  • @zarradsana5888
    @zarradsana5888 3 роки тому +3

    Your energy is so contagious in the best way ever. Loved this video.

  • @oxi_seannika1641
    @oxi_seannika1641 2 роки тому

    I feel like there are so many videos on this topic but you reiterating advice I've heard so many times before in a genuine way was so helpful. I'm taking mental notes, I'm adding some things to my daily goals, new month new me lol.

  • @Kiwi-bq3fg
    @Kiwi-bq3fg 4 роки тому +79

    I appreciate the advice fairy God Virgo.

  • @hannahkgiles
    @hannahkgiles 4 роки тому

    girl i KNEW i knew you from somewhere!!! i watched your video where you talk about not caring about other peoples opinions and like just straight up thriving and i remember that helped me so much and helped me grow and become a much more confident & caring person. ilysm & keep it up 🥺💗

  • @drishya3331
    @drishya3331 4 роки тому +4

    this is the type of content missing on the tube.thanks lovely cherub💕

  • @kayleighryan6583
    @kayleighryan6583 4 роки тому

    i totally agree about the makeup thing. i used to wear a ton because i had acne i was super insecure about for YEARS but once i got on medication and started clearing up i was like. wow i actually really dislike taking off makeup so i just kind of stopped and fell in love with my real face a lil bit lol. now when i wear makeup it's a lot more enjoyable and special but i also feel somehow more confident when im not wearing it. there's something so powerful about realizing you can still be pretty just as yourself and not needing a crutch in order to feel good about your appearance

  • @partondollysophie
    @partondollysophie 4 роки тому +10

    I am creativ, im funny, im a good listener, if somebody tells me a secret i keep ist.
    But I never say these things out loud.
    I am just making of me, how dumb and stupid i am and that i will never have a good Job and be happy. And I really start to believe these negative things...
    So thank you Nicole for this Video. I will try to stop making jokes about myself, because I know I‘m better than that, I‘m just to shy and insecure to be me right now.
    Maybe someday I see myself more postive, and I try to start today
    (And sorry for my bad english, im from Germany, but I hope you get what I mean 😊)
    Have an nice day, and remember: You are great the way you are 💕

  • @sehreandayu409
    @sehreandayu409 4 роки тому

    you're heaven sent. thank you for existing.

  • @jadeandreamonaco2095
    @jadeandreamonaco2095 4 роки тому +55

    you’re like my therapist ❤️ even if i don’t really have one lol

  • @rohannabendiola9897
    @rohannabendiola9897 4 роки тому +1

    I am 12 years old and you really lifted up my personality thank you

  • @scarlettspage
    @scarlettspage 4 роки тому +5

    when i watch films and shit i dont cry or laugh or anything i just watch and in my head im like “oh dear” or “LOL” but i actually can’t feel any emotions whilst watching something

    • @emmawatson1915
      @emmawatson1915 3 роки тому +1

      ive never related to something more in my LIFE.

    • @krunchykat9249
      @krunchykat9249 3 роки тому +1

      Omg same my family thinks i have no humour but like i acknowledged something was funny but i dont laugh... Its so weird

  • @MacKensBee
    @MacKensBee 4 роки тому +1

    I get nauseous when I lay like that too, at the beginning of the video I had the thought that I couldn't do that for the whole video. Really loving the positive vibes your channel is bringing to my life

  • @helenawest954
    @helenawest954 4 роки тому +18

    When she said « I’ve never met a person that goes *self deprecating comments » i legit went 😶 that’s all my FRIENDS all the DAMN TIME

    • @vanessaruck6073
      @vanessaruck6073 4 роки тому +5

      she was saying how she’s never met people that make self deprecating comments that she wants to be friends with

  • @lianmiller3671
    @lianmiller3671 4 роки тому

    i came to this video feeling really sad and watching it made me feel so much better about myself, it brought to life some things that I wasn't even aware was causing me distress but this advice? golden! when nicole said that we don't really care about little quirks in our bodies until other people bring them up, i really felt that! i'm so happy i came to this video, subscribing