i'm not like other girls, i'm worse!
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
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✧( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)✧ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) gorl, it's so confusing sometimes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)✧ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)✧
hello hello lil cherubs! in today's video i talk about falling in love with mainstream things again like pop music, the concept of being a "girl's girl" and also calling myself out for my internal misogyny lol
xoxo nikki nasty
Join Club Nasty! / talknastytome
stalk me here but not actually
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☞music used
Lovers Rock - TV Girl
Buttercup - Jack Stauber
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it’s like she knew I just sat down to paint my nails
me too queen 🙏
NO WAIT SAME LMAO
I hope they turn out how you want them too! ❤❤
I’m so creeped out I’m doing this too
I must know what colour(s) we’re going w/
It's like she knew I'm supposed to be emailing therapists right now
This makes me so happy because so many people watch her videos and so all these people can understand the internalised misogyny and educate themselves!! I love Nicole!! I love women! Yay!
love love love this convo💕
i grew up saying i didn't like 90% of the things i absolutely love now and hating things i said i liked doing. it's called maturity 🙂↕️. growth, babes 🌱✨
it’s like she knew i’m gonna clean every single thing in my house ❤
hi nicole, i've been watching u for a long time and its so nice to hear you talking about these topics. it was kinda nostalgic watching this one :) idk i think is ur personality and brain that is really nice to listen to, u are awesome
you put so many feelings i've had for so long into words with this video, jesus christ
dont overthink it guys
No Nicole because I’m so scared 21 Pilots will be my top artists on Spotify Wrapped this year 😭 it’s haunting me like a ghost brb putting Chappell on repeat
I mean over 25 years old you really shouldnt care if people think youre lame for liking pop music 😂 but it doesnt mean youre automatically a try hard because you dont like the same music copy pasted and rebranded over and over. Some people do require substance to feel enjoyment and thats fine too. At the end of the day feeling superior to others for liking or disliking a genre is a just defense mechanism we put up because at some point someone shamed you for what you like.
of course a man would say this. you don’t get it
Honestly if you're looking to get back into Twenty One Pilots this may be the perfect time for it because the new album came out pretty recently and it is maybe the best work I have heard in a good while? Definitely perfect timing
2:25 I didn’t realize why I had those thoughts. Thank you.
she knows i just handed in an assignment, she's giving me a little treat
Literally me right now 😂
That’s so real like how did she know
Same 🙏
DUDE YES
Chris Evans yes you can right sex life and you can do that soon thanks you now that we can do it tomorrow night on Friday night
Let’s remember there are multiple ways to be a woman. You can be a girls girl and not like pop music, you can be a girls girl and not like pumpkin spice. The thing that makes being a pick me being a pick me is putting down other women. It’s fine to be a tomboy, it’s fine to like rock music, it’s fine not to follow basic girl fashion trends. Just remember that you are not better than any other women because of that!
yes ✨✨✨✨✨
Was looking for a comment like this🔥🔥
I'm a girl who despises most pop music and is embarrassingly out of touch with everything relevant right now, but I can confidently say I adore other women and I would never put down another girl for liking pop
Also conformity and difference are value neutral. Just because most people do one thing doesn't mean it's bad, but it doesn't mean it's good either.
I'm sure the Kardashians are very compelling entertainers, but they're terrible for so many reasons that I don't want to support them by giving them eyeball time, and that's the end of that.
@@marionleblanc8580 True
I will continue to be in disbelief over how in sync my human experience has been to yours.
Dude SAME
Same!! It was as if Nicole was narrating my life, that's so insane
For real 🥲
These were the words I couldn’t find so instead I said I love you lol
same!!! i have recently been diagnosed with OCD AND i literally word for word had this conversation with my friends recently
I’m the opposite of a gatekeeper. I constantly wanna get my friends into my favorite artists. They usually aren’t receptive. 😂
real! i hate when i passionately share and there is no interest 😄😭 feels so lonely.
I’m pretty sure I drive people crazy trying to get them to like the stuff I like lmao
Me yelling at my friends to listen to Stray Kids be like:
@@chrisatonin yesss
Girl put us on right here right now
I can feel my frontal lobe developing
It makes sense that so many of us don’t want to be put in the box of a stereotypical “woman.” When you grow up watching how people talk about women and how the media treats them, it’s no wonder we try to convince the world we are different and that we don’t deserve the same treatment. I didn’t want to be perceived the way society perceives women, but I’m in love with how we are embracing that being “like women” is actually a beautiful thing.
we gotta define what a woman is rather than waiting for them to tell us. what we are is women
👏🏻
@@mar_7055this!!
All these conversations are so cisnormative
@@natasha5553 that’s a great point, I’m a cisgender white women so my comment doesn’t include the complexities of other demographics. I imagine that for a transwoman, it’s possible for her to want to be seen as a woman by society without wanting the misogyny that comes with it. Of course that’s not a blanket statement and it’s not my experience, but I can certainly see how these other perspective could change and add to the conversation
Unveiling Your Hidden Potential by Bruce Thornwood(thank me later)
"YOURE NOT DEEP FOR NOT LIKING POP MUSIC" *louder for the people in the back*
right and they act like their music taste is better, like no mate there’s shit music in every genre
I'm a guy who used to hate pop music when I was younger and then when I was working at a pizza place with teens and they were listening to lady gaga and Kesha I realized how dumb I was and embraced my inner pop girlie.
So now I joke that I have a really weird and wide range of musical interests, from Skinny Puppy to Kesha, lol.
Im not but I was bullied for it and I know a lot of other alt kids got bullied as a child thats why they double down on their music taste being the “better” one. It’s not the right way to cope but that’s why they do it not bc they are bad people or want to be deep
i don't hate i'm just not gonna listen to it cus it's not my thing
it's like she knew i needed a video to eat my dinner to
literally was just uploaded when i sat down to eat 🔥
It's like she knew you have a UA-cam addiction that needs to be nourished during every single mild task or activity.
@@dunkawunka2278 woah, chill, some people just like listening to something when they have dinner
@@BeanBall-hp8ek right because the dopamine from food isn't enough there needs to be a second form of stimulation. Sometimes it's good to take a step back and realize how out of touch we've become as humans and how much technology pulls us away from meditative thought. Humanity lost the narrative 😔 I'm being overly cynical but there is some truth there.
@@dunkawunka2278 some people just don't like hearing their own chewing? it's a gross noise, and sometimes lunch is people's only time to catch up on media they like. you're not being cynical, just a touch rude
Ever since I saw the CollegeHumor sketch about defending basic things my whole mindset around “being basic” shifted. It sounds so dumb because it’s such a goofy sketch but it really did pull me out of the “I MUST be different than the other girls” mindset. I recommend it to anyone who hasn’t seen it!
NO THIS IS SO REAL. i had the exact same experience like that sketch changed my life a bit genuinely
I just looked it up. If it’s the one where Brennan is the knight it was indeed great.
COLLEGE HUMOR MENTIONED
Brennan Lee Mulligan saving the girlies from themselves, we love to see it.
ua-cam.com/video/d1mbbYKPpHY/v-deo.htmlsi=DoIcBP7vfs_R3_mc
Got diagnosed with autism at age 7 and only had brothers… it was a very easy mix that made me isolate myself from women entirely. They were so intimidating and I felt so weird knowing my interests didn’t align with theirs. What sucks is that I loved Tutus and the color pink but even at such a young age - I denied myself of anything feminine. I would go as far as only wear male clothes and seek refuge online. I’m so glad now that despite my somewhat different interests and awkward personality, I feel more comfortable being who I am. My entire room is pink now!! And I love exploring common interests with my female friends. I totally get what you mean, glad we got out of this weird mindset 🩷
omg same
same!
this has nothing to do with being a woman lmao. that *should* be the entire point of this video, but it seems like we're heavily backtracking into "it's okay to be feminine!" when the entire problem is women are 9/10 forced into femininity. You just described how you didn't conform to gender standards, felt ostracized, conformed, then felt more comfortable. There's nothing to brag about there, it's how the system works.
edit: I was diagnosed with autism when i was 3/4 in germany. I didn't "run" from being feminine, being feminine is just an incredibly constricting mode of behavior; the tight clothing, don't move your legs too much in your skirt because you're flashing people even though you're 7, shave your entire body before you even know what youre adult body hair looks like to the point where your causing urself injuries (ingrown hairs, cuts, dry skin), wear make-up, dont wear too much make-up, wear this terrible fabric because it looks good, pretty hurts, always prioritize what you can do for others including being pleasing to the eye. There's a reason the rate of autistic girls being diagnosed with gender dysphoria has shot up the moment it became an official diagnosis, and it's not because autistic girls have a predisposition to "not want to be girls/women", it's because the social standards society puts on women are so batshit, it's much easier to say "i want be treated like a boy" and get told "that means you want to be one". Because it enforces that only good women and girls perform the feminine gender standard.
You were running from the female gender standard because it's constricting and the moment you had a bit of freedom to express it how YOU wanted, it becomes easier. You have narrative control over how you exist as a person wholly yourself. You didn't hate women, you we're scared of what they were forced to be, because males in society have deemed that male is default and female is other.
i grew up with two older brothers who played video games and watched “guys” shows and i played with mostly males older than me online. i grew up desiring, i wish i could come up with a word stronger than desire, the validation of a man in order to feel secure. i would feel so weird when i would want to shop or buy makeup or nails and my hair as i grew older. then when i finally hit puberty it turned into my appearance also fitting the male validation, especially as a girl with a more curvy body than the other girls i went to school with. then, when i finally hit high school i had only girl friends, they liked makeup they liked different music than me and i finally felt comfortable to explore. and now i’m happy in my little mix of both. i only want to protect myself and other women, as a woman.
The truth is, being anyone is exhausting. It's always a performance even if it's genuinely who you are. Especially as women even when we have a genuine interest were grilled within an inch of our lives to prove it. And no matter how many right answers we give we're still considered posers. Every clique demands a total purity of purpose and thought in line with what everyone else deems appropriate. Even the alternative set that should in theory embody free thinking and individuation requires that purity. It's all just too fucking much.
This. I have noticed that there are now some women out there whose biggest fear is not being perceived as a girls girl, which leads them to involuntarily adapt elements that are considered feminine and girly by current standards, even if they don’t enjoy it (and even if they are not shaming others for it). As you already said, this still is a performance. Women are always being judged and put into boxes.
(wrote a whole ass coment and it didn't send, oh well)
Aaaand we're back to that phase "be feminine, be skinny or be gone" as a society. It's great that we're finally agreeing on what's a girl's girl and supporting other girls, but we can forget that it's also a performance.
I love being a mess, keeping my hair pink and fluffy and wearing baggy clothes and listening to my pop and shoegaze girlies (as I've been for more than a decade), so the e-girls phase made my live so much easier. People we're getting used to seing odd colors of hair paint and clothes that I like were easier to find. Now I'm going back to reality where security follows me through the mall, people treat me like trash.
I won't judge women that chose to perform as basic, most of the time that's what you need to do if you want to get a job. Society is getting so obsessed over others people gender, sexuality and appearance that I'm starting to be afraid of even choosing the wrong color of lipstick and looking too different from everyone else.
Perform however you want, just don't ignore stuff out of your bubble out of fear of getting labeled as anything. Men already does that to us, they label us as bitches.
That's it, I'm going back into my cave, see ya girlies ✨
@@scorpionbraid That’s because women aren’t usually viewed to have the same potential as men. If we do something that is out of our perceived potential it’s seen as fake or unnatural, and because there are so many negative traits associated with women, it will be perceived as one of those. It might sound extreme, but that’s because is a concept and it’s nuanced and complex. There are always exceptions, but it’s more of a subconscious conditioning in society that some people might not even know they have. I know I have some deep rooted beliefs that I have to actively account for when Im judging something.
As An Old and A Man, it feels weird seeing what I assumed was a way to avoid sexist, demeaning trends become (or be perceived as becoming) a sexist, demeaning trend.
This is healing that we’re all realizing this shit at the same time.. because it’s going to create SUCH positive waves for the girlies. Who run the world? GIRLS.
I’m not like other girls, I collect organs ❤️
see i know you're joking but im watching this while sitting inches from my collection of wet specimen
@@looseleaflyraI'm not sitting near mine at the moment but same 😂
Which one's your fav?
@@Love-jr7rf intestines 😍
@@dreamxredits NO WAY SAME 😍😍😍😍
I, too, was one of those indie girls that thought I was so cool by liking Mac Demarco and the strokes before they were cool 😭😭 this is such a good talk
The Strokes before they were cool? Are you like 40 😂
@@aR0ttenBANANA looooool
@@aR0ttenBANANAyah I feel like I’m time traveling here. I loved the strokes when I was in high school in 2001 when “is this it” dropped (literally almost 40 lol)
Welcome to being 25 and officially past the "my media consumption defines who I am and how I perceive others" stage of life. I'm serious. A lot of people never do!
it's like she knows I'm having difficulty studying for my cardiology exam 💔
I believe in you!! You got this🤓👍🌈
you don't know how much motivation this gives me!! thank u girlie 💅💞
U got this queen
u got this!!! sending good vibes!
ur gonna pass with flying colors
Why do do we have to go to one extreme to another? It’s ok to not like popular stuff, just as It’s ok to love popular stuff. Just make sure you are listening to your own mind. Not pretending to something that you are not by peer pressure. Also try every before claiming that you don’t like something.
As someone in her early 30s, this is a normal and genuinely healthy stage in life, one that shows you're putting in the work of listening to yourself, listening to women, and allowing yourself to grow and "just be". Learning to unlearn is one of the messier, but more rewarding parts of your midtwenties and I honestly am just so happy for you. I felt so much freer and happier when I started letting go of what I felt I "needed to be/not be" and just did what I wanted, provided it was chosen in kindness. You're on the road to a happier healthier phase of your life and its awesome to hear you talk about it so freely. So many women and young girlies NEED to hear this, to know and accept that they can be happy without having to worry about if they're coloring inside the lines. Life after 25 is a trip, so pack the right snacks and F*cking ENJOY IT, you can't go back after all.
Proud of you, babes :)
I'm looking forward to my 30s, knowing myself better and making more art. I'm 25 right now and going through a really hard time, and your message really spoke to me. I'll do the best that I can, and trust that it gets better
My 'not like other girls' phase definitely started because I was so severely bullied for being different. Looking back to little me and knowing it's because I'm queer and autistic and will always be and feel different to other people, I just want to give them a hug and a big teddy bear and tell them that while beauty isn't the be all and end all, I've found a partner who thinks I'm beautiful and tells me all the time, and that they shouldn't have to hide like Kylie Minogue's music because she produces bops for the gays and we need to worship her for that. (omg queen of run-on sentences over here)
same
I don't blame any young women for having an NLOG phase. nerdy guys complain about the popular jocks that picked on them all the time and everyone understands what they went through. weird, awkward, nerdy, and rebellious girls have the same problems, its just that teen media doesn't really act like its as much of an issue.
guys just read book called manifestation hacks by olivia cooper and you'll never need to watch these videos again
the power of your 25 year old brain now being fully devolved and realizing WHO CARES!! Love what you love, enjoy what you enjoy, like what you like
Did you know some brain develop before 25? I have a feeling some people never develop correctly because there’s to many old women acting like bully teenagers
Society looks down on young girls and their interests, and laughs at them... then those same young girls see/hear this and decide they dont want to be like that. "I am not like other girls" is just something we think out of desperation for being laughed at for things we like, and then later we regret and fault ourselves for thinking like that while it is fully just because society still freaking sucks. I am so happy more and more girls/women are now embracing the things they like without shame and with so much pride now
It‘s like she knows it‘s the middle of the night in Europe and I can‘t sleep
Insomniac high five 😭
I used her video too to fall asleep at 6 am ( I’m from Belgium) 🤚🏼
"i'm gonna close my eyes at all the noah schnapp scenes" is the realest thing
I’m out of the loop what’s the lore
@@dogsindriveways7478 Noah Schnapp is a zionist
@@dogsindriveways7478he's an out loud Z1on1st and spread a lot of "Z1on1sm is s3xy" garbage 🤢
Along with another actor in the show, but he's annoying in the show anyways (made to be hated) so feelings kinda stay the same.
@@dogsindriveways7478he’s openly a z!ionist and said that z!onism is sexy and basically a piece of sh!t
@@dogsindriveways7478 he's a raging zionist and has been talking about Palestinians in an evil light.
It’s actually so healing hearing someone vocalize my thoughts about self perception.
As a relatively recently out trans woman it honestly helps a lot to know that cis women feel a lot of these same insecurities and desire to be accepted into the community. I'm always diving into new things headfirst and truly enjoy them but sometimes I worry that I'll be perceived as trying to hard to be "one of the girls" and not seeming genuine. That on top of just being perceived at all, everyday I scrutinize myself down to even where I decide to part my hair and have to fight with the balancing act of trying to be authentic and trying to fit myself into a particular box that I don't fully understand yet.
Thanks for being so open and honest with this stuff, its nice to process it along with someone like you
you’re not the same as a cis woman sorry
it honestly helps a lot to know that cis women feel a lot of these same insecu- ACK
okay then stop trying to fit into the box. you feel this way because it will never be enough, there will never be enough validation to prove that you're something you're not, and trying to endlessly shoot for this goal is the same issue women have when trying to perfectly uphold feminine gender standards to potentially avoid any backlash of not being a "good enough" woman. admitting the insecurity exists does not validate the drive to tick enough boxes to "remove" the insecurity, all it does is admit that there's an unhealthy standard being enforced on what "being a woman" is.
Yeah honestly I think not feeling like you're being a woman right it like you even CAN be is a huge part of being a woman even for cis women, feeling like you can't get your makeup or your hair right, and then wondering if you're wrong for when caring about that, etc etc etc, but idk, I don't know a lot of cis people 💀 it certainly has been for me
Yeah sounds like you're getting the full womanhood experience. Welcome to hell 💕 (that sounds sarcastic but genuinely, welcome to being one of the girls)
i love being the most amazing insufferable person in a room
This year has been my year of reclaiming my basic girly interests too! I'm growing out my hair first for the first time since literal middle school and I love it! I also have realized that I love basic makeup and I love pop music even more! Also this year has been amazing for me because things that I have liked for a long time that were niche (specifically JellyCats and Calico Critters) are so popular now so I can talk to other people about them and it's amazing
Edit was literally just that I forgot a word in comment (hair) lol, sorry girlies
KAVEH PFP
Either way your mind is still being controlled on how to think and act, the feeling of self liberty is an illusion given to you by others telling you how to think, not inherently a bad thing because of the social nature in humans we are inclined to follow trends in order to fit in, technically you really can't be yourself because it will always be an ideological formation from another mind. Only way to solve this problem is to go into the woods naked and talk to God through earths nature.
same with growing my hair out! im super excited to use hair accessories everyone else uses!
Nicole, I don’t know if you’ll see this, but I’ve only been watching you for about a month and I’m absolutely obsessed with your content. I watch a lot of commentary and podcast-style videos, but watching your videos feels like listening to a good friend. I see so much of myself in you, and listening to your views and experiences has changed me so much. You’re amazing❤
as a fellow PA bitch who was also very much not like other girls for most of my life so far, this video feels like i'm having a heartfelt and deep convo with my sister. i love being like everyone else and it was so refreshing hearing you talk about your continued journey through internalized misogyny. i remember listening to music by selena gomez, sabrina carpenter, and miley cyrus when they were all still with disney in the 2010s and thinking that i had to keep all of that a secret bc i wanted to be different so badly. their music slapped then and still does now. this video helped me process some of thoughts about my younger and current self and i very much thank you for that nicole
Hating and shying away or aggressively attacking or being apathetic to the feminine gender standard is not "internalized misogyny". Internalized misogyny is refusing to discuss your period with anyone, especially with men around. It's considering women who don't conform to the feminine beauty standard as "dissidents" who strive to make themselves better than women who do conform. It's refusing to analyze the patriarchal structure that's been around for thousands of years and deem yourself above it because it makes you slightly uncomfortable to admit that maybe you were forced to drink the kool-aid, people are just lying to you that it's not kool-aid you're drinking.
We're you okay admitting you listened to any other female artists at the time? Did you only admit listening to male artists? That might have been the bigger issue than "specifically these female artists because I wanted to be different from other girls who liked these female artists" which is a lot more of witnessing how women and girls were treated by males, the dominate sex in a patriarchy, for supporting other women or even for being considered less than because female artists are never as good as male artists in a patriarchal system as well. It's less "i want to be different" rather than "i dont want to be insulted for having feminine interests because males hate females and use their feminine interests as an excuse to deem them less than". That's the internalized misogyny.
It’s like she knew I was sitting down to load a bowl
omg me in a few hours
Genuinely I am so in love with this video I relate to absolutely everything, I’m so glad that I can relate to this as a 16 year old girl instead of discovering this when I’m older and having to catch up on way more things, being a pre-teen/teen during quarantine I was super impressionable and I only saw videos talking abt how it was uncool to be basic and stopped myself from enjoying content and social media from girls I also didn’t watch stranger things because I thought it was so different, genuinely thank you sooo much for this video i love that I have someone who resonated with me
Girl I’m the same I feel so blessed that I had this realization at roughly 16 and that now at 19 I know who I am or at least I’m at a point where I’m experimenting and learning and I’m open to things I was so closed off too. It took so much healing to get to this point but I’m so grateful I got there. I love being feminine. I love pretty. I love feeling cute. I love reading romance. I love dancing around my room liek a basic white bitch bc I am a basic white bitch. I love being liek other girls I love other girls
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, steve_porassss . I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is steve_porassss.
Look at us, deconstructing our internalized misogyny 💅🏻✨
I'm not just a girls girl but a people person lol there are so many people out there that need support regardless of identity. I relate to being nervous around other women, i feel like i am somehow clocked as a freak who is perceived as a creep and outsider rather than just..a cis woman. I feel so out of place and i don't even know why, but i try to remember it is all my own issue and not anyone else's problem
It's absolutely insane how much my mindset has shifted from when I was a child, I'm so much more open to things, i still don't love everything popular but i don't actively hate on people anymore for liking something that i thought was too popular for me to like. I LOVE this video thank you nicole!
its funny, when i was a kid i listened to heavy/dark/goth stuff, then when i was in college i tried being into indie music and mainstream clothes and styles, but ended up going back to my other tastes in my mid to late 20s and realized how i was trying to force myself into another mould. guess being in your early 20s is just your struggling and denying yourself what you really like era
You can be supportive of other women and have a different taste in music, style, etc than them... you don't need to be a clone and erase all your unique traits to support someone. I also don't like to participate in gossiping and other shit that some women do, but I'll support them in their careers, choices and desires (when those don't harm someone else), because we women need to help each other to conquer space in this society.
I work in a male dominant field and sometimes I have to face judgment and be underestimated by the men and ALSO by the few other women who work there, and some of them think they are the only exception in that environment, and all the other women are stupid and inefficient and etc... I just wish they could understand we should help each other.
Moral of the story here folks is what makes you cool is liking what you like and not giving a shit what anyone else thinks of you for it. Im a grown ass man and I love Nikki Nasty what!
STOPP I JUST SAT DOWN YOU KNEW NICOLE U KNEW
love ur user name
@@currentlyeatingshit LOVE YOU
I love ur profile pic and username!! 🇪🇬🇵🇸
I've always had a very complicated relationship with my mother and this has manifested in my inability to maintain relationships with women. My "not like other girls" mindset in combination with my friendship with very toxic, sexist men in high school further isolated me. I brought a lot of this on myself because I put other women down to make myself feel better.
I thoroughly regret this stage in my life and it's a shame that it took me until my twenties to prioritize my relationships with my fellow women. Younger women, don't do what I did!!!
YEEEEESSSSSS Nicole lol As a trans person I genuinely felt I had to “give myself permission” to have fun in all aspects of “gender” lol but I loved this and felt this video
🫶🏻
8:54 this children singing is ms yoko ono 😭
That cat 😍 Also love the talk-vids, and isn't it wild to look back and realize previous misogyny?! I cringe, I cringe, but I also call it out because I didn't know, now I do. Same for pick-me behavior. Like other girls, or not, but not using that as a springboard to cater to men. Celebrating us all, as we are, whatever that is.
all that being said, this is my thousandth time asking for a chronically online deep dive of VADA VADA
YES OMFG
I think that alot of the experiences us women experience are very similar and we've been denying ourselves the comfort of being like each other, my life has been so much better after surrounding myself by other women and enjoying basic thing even tho I'm very alternative
i fully agree, i dont like putting down other gitls for what they like, thats wrong. but i feel like with embracing being basic theres also this weird narrative of demonizing being different coming back. i already see so many people shitting on others because they dont follow every little micro trend and liking every single popular media, theres nothing wrong with that. i just wish people could express themselves how they want without dumb assumptions being made. im not a pick me
i still feel kind of separate from pop, but I hella felt the "healing you inner child" perspective of the current era of pop and women's freedom of sexuality. i think there's a lot to explore there about the generations of sexual liberation, but for myself I grew up on the (pop)objectification of women's sexuality framed FOR men and male audiences by the selling of young girl's bodies under the guise of it being for their own good.
being a young girl influenced by pop women like Spears, but not feeling sexually empowered by her songs - mostly feeling sexually obligated by pop in my era - i had a conflated sense of love and expression of sex and sexuality and stiiill question who exactly is it for. that coupled with a mother who saw my first hickey and promptly threw a condom at me saying "good luck, be safe" really set me up to be "liberated" in a way that damaged my relationships and my sense of self within those relationships.
So now, I'm not anti-sex but I am SO protective over my sexual power, and listening to pop nowadays, Billie's self development and self-exploration through her albums has helped a lot (h-o-t-t-a-k-e, but latest is mid imo). Sabrina and Olivia's feminine embrace of their sexuality, rather than masculinized enforcement of their sexuality, has also been helpful in recognizing my own faulty [or coping] relationship with sex, and listening to dads be fucking weird about their children's sexuality just reassures me they're doing the right thing by expressing sex and love and getting fucked in a way that emphasizes/centralizes the women's perspective and women's need. I know Ari did some stuff like that too, and I'm not "into" any of these artists exactly like that, but I do appreciate seeing more of a "I'm going to get fucked" rather than "you want to fuck me??" perspective in pop and music with regards to sex and sexuality.
great vid! we love self development and growth into womanhood. 💕
I also, I guess wanted to comment on the whole "girl v woman" label we give ourselves as... women and girls lol. I don't think there's a point in time where our girlhood or our internal/external "girl" dies or becomes separate from our womanhood. I personally switch from girl to woman contextually and feel a part of both in me. I wouldn't have called myself a woman until a couple years ago when I... became one? developed into one? it's complicated and nuanced and all these debates on tiktok about what makes a woman are crazyvapid but that's not the point. when it comes to being a girl and girlhood, i think there's a fun-ness and a comradery to being a girl. it's tittering and it's cute and it's the starting point for connection and power, and the womanhood of it all is the embracement of all the girlies and girl-type emotions we develop, all the girl experiences and fulfilling our lives and passions and pursuits in the most empowered and supported way. it's impossible to split the two, or think of it as caterpillar-butterfly transition, because the girl in you is the fire in you and the force in you imo. she can't separate from u because she is u and will always be the reason you keep going every day. i thnk that's it. have good days.
Girl, you can like whatever you like, just don’t put down other women for liking what they like. Everyone is on their own journey in feminism. It’s ok to be a girl’s girl, it’s ok to be a loner, it’s ok to only have female friends, it’s ok to only have male friends, it’s ok to love pink, to love black, to love every version of the spectrum that is you and to extend that love outward to others who are different from you.
here as a lover of all things basic AND all things alt- big into kpop, love a pop girly, but i am also definitely punk in ideology and also goth and emo- alt CAN be a phase! we are ever evolving beings! its okay to have phases and try different things and decide to move on from them! let people do what they want when they want!
i loved this video
i want to add that femininity is often viewed societally as a “weakness,” and it feels especially apparent when we’re young! like, i personally went through a lot as a child and have a ptsd diagnosis to boot and ive always always ALWAYS loved women, but i rejected femininity because it was so synonymous with vulnerability. its easy to try and control some facet of yourself that doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, like not like girly music or wearing pink, to try and feel in control of the rest of your life. sometimes its less about other girls and all about yourself :)
yesss to me as a kid being a girl felt like such a punishment and ugh nobody should have to feel like that
I was praying you would post cause I need entertainment while I do heartless curls
Is this a two fold problem? you're slightly ashamed of "letting yourself" enjoy the lightheartedness of mainstream pop, and in overcoming that you listen to and create community with more women, but the original "problem" persists of women in the genres you would usually listen to continuing to go unnoticed?
you posit that you partly listened to only indie men to be a Cool Girl, and so the solution to that is pop girls, because,,, ??? women only go for indie because they can't reconcile their need to be cool with supporting women?
i have a hard time with the answer to "isn't it weird that you listen to 80% men" being "you need to be open to the simpler sillier music" because it feels like a tacit way of saying that women's music is frivolous and less serious.
Why can't we be serious and pretentious about womens art in the same way we are about mens? Why is the answer "be ok with being basic" instead of "seek out women who impress you"? Why do we have to set lower standards for women? It's insulting!! Why are we resigning women to "low art"?
“Gonna close my eyes during all the Noah Schnapp scenes” 😂😂
i am a freshly 16 teenage girl and its so hard to tear myself from the 'not like other girls' phenomenom. i love other women, other women are so beautiful and intresting and kind, but at the same time, i do feel a need to be a cool little alt indie girl with niche little tastes. and to an extent, that is who i am. i think another part of that does come from seeking male validation in a way. i am weird, but i am also just like other girls, other girls are weird too. i love reality TV and doing my makeup, i love dancing to a fun little pop song, i love gossiping and painting my nails. i love being with other girls, but its hard to not want to lean into this "superiority" thing
it's hard to tear urself away from it because it's rooted in the patriarchy. you feel the need to separate yourself from other women because women are inherently deemed less than in this patriarchal system, and thus you're trying to find a way to exist without feeling as dehumanized as "woman" is deemed. Avoiding the female gender role is less about male validation and more about avoiding being dehumanized by them. What you'll unfortunately find is it has nothing to do with what you do as a female and everything to do with how a male wants to treat you.
Men will hate you for not conforming, and they'll use you conforming as the reason for why you're less than. This is purposefully designed. There is no way out beyond admitting the system works like this because then you can finally start realizing that EVERYTHING is gender neutral because gender is a superficial concept. You are female, sexist men will hate you for this sheer fact alone, and there's nothing you can do to convince them otherwise. No amount of "avoiding" the dehumanizing gender role or conforming to it. This itself is freedom because now you're free to do what you want, they're going to hate or like you anyways. This then opens the door to NOT CARING about what men think.
Trying to think back, for me, I think it stems that, “basic” came from the popular girls, and they weren’t very nice to other girls outside their group, so to “rebel,” I chose to do the opposite, and so being different, being “cool” is what I was actively striving for, that has followed me into my 30’s! Anyway, I share your sentiments!! ❤❤
MY QUEEN HAS SPOKE ….. my peasant self must answer to QUEEN NASTY all hail🙇♀️🙇♀️🙇♀️
so obviously i had the "i'm so different", "i stand out" and "i'm not like other girls" phase. But for me, this phase was more about "omg how do i be like other girls?" or "why can't i be like everyone else?" or "maybe something is wrong w me". Then i found out that i'm trans so uno reverse card lmao. Turns out i just wasn't a girl and i love that for me hahahha. This was so freeing and it forced me to explore my own identity more:))
love you girls
ur me but i know im not trans helppp😭
I was looking for a comment that said this bc as soon as I self-actualized and embraced being like other girls in my early 20s, I realized that actually, I am not girls to begin with lmao
@@SpookySmurph777 frfr
posted 8 seconds ago, 1 view, 1 like. bro really fell off
Last fall I did the “let’s just see about Folklore and Evermore” thing. I couldn’t believe that I was sleeping on TS for so long
Saame a little over a year i listened to folklore and evermove for the first time and got back into ts. I loved her so much when i was a kid but stopped listening because she got "too popular". I went to the eras tour last year and oh my god greatest thing ever!
I was just talking to someone about this! I used to try to be hipster and mysterious or whatever and hate on trends just to hate on them. But really I was denying myself of things I secretly loved. I love pumpkin spice lattes, I love pop music, I love wearing a lot of the things that are considered in style at the moment. There are some trends I don’t like and there are edgy things I still like. But it’s all about not denying yourself of things you love just because they’re mainstream/popular out of fear of being “basic.”
THIS VIDEO RIGHT HEEERE?! It's like you're speaking directly from my soul. I used to be that girl "i don't like other girls, too much drama" hello, it's me, i'm the problem (insecure af) and I've been embracing girlhood and girlfriends and girls music and guess what, I fucking love pop music. and WHO CAAARES if everyone else likes it? Isn't that the point of good music or good anything really, that you like it and shouldn't be ashamed about it. Love being who my teenage self wanted to be and not be a girl hater.
It’s like she knew that Sabrina carpenter is the bay harbour butcher
i am not human i am alien here to say hello
What planet are you from?
@@K4TSSS 1256-ab aka Zinglemorph
@@ALwaYsthecoolest I’ve been there! 🥰🥰🥰
22:25 hold on what I need context lmao wtf did clairo actually do lol
Commenting for context! 😆🫣🫠
I'm going through the same transition, embracing popular things and WOMEN. But I will continue encouraging people to question, criticize, and analyze popular things. Just because it's popular, doesn't mean it's free from critique! Love it, revel in it, tap into the community. We should all be honest with ourselves about if/why we like or dislike things whether they're popular or not.
I think this is happening to a lot of women right now in this era of hyper fem, hyper pop but I also think this happens in our mid 20s because the “all my favorite artists are men” to “do I even listen to men anymore?” Thing is sooooo real. A coworker who is in her early 20s said she was not interested in liking the thing everyone else is obsessed with the day I told her I finally gave Chappell Roan my full attention and was all the way hooked. And I just thought, hopefully that changes in a couple years.
Really good talk, I loved it. It is very “I feel so much younger now” - Miley Cyrus
honestly I desperately want to be like the other girls, but I've always felt inadequate
Clairo and Billie vinyls added to the wall 🤭
Like it’s actually blowing my mind how much I relate this wow.
hi humans
i missed this woman spewing her thoughts and stream of consciousness. literally my fave videos
i think you can be a feminist and support other non-men and be into weird shit/not commercialized things. as long as you’re doing it for yourself and not putting other people down!sometimes i’m genuinely not interested in things that are popular because i just don’t like it! sometimes these things are soooooo contrived and pushed by big media it makes me grossed out a little bit. i think the point you’re trying to make though is let people like what they want for themselves ❤
I needed a video like this when I was in middle school. I hope this video helps many "I'm not like other girls" girlies
first of all: YOUR HAIR IS GORRRRRRRRGEOUS
i love all of your videos but i love as well that you discuss your struggles with ocd. i have it as well and it’s nice to see other people just having a conversation about it. it is definitely a diagnosis with a stigma…
love this video! one thing that frustrates me in all of this conversation is the mild yet persistent infantilization of women by referring to us as “girls”. there is certainly a space for this when it comes to minors and younger women and the experience of being a girl and growing up that way, but i think (as you said in the video) it is important to refer to us (and for US TO REFER TO OURSELVES!!!) as women. we are not girls, we are not immediately lesser for being women, and there is still plenty of fun and excitement to be associated with being a woman and identifying as such.
She knows I'm trying to procrastinate studying for my exam 🛐🛐
i think it’s also important to mention subcultures within music, countercultures, and the historical context behind “alternative” subgenres. Pop music and mainstream music have always appealed to a broad audience, grunge rock was considered mainstream in the 90s, just in general, so much more could have been brought into the conversation than just “i used to be so mysterious and now im a girls girl consuming girls girl media”. Unfortunately music genres aren’t just about gender, it is so much more intersectional than that.
When you haven’t listened to short and sweet yet so you can’t watch Nicole 😢
I just can’t wait for your love of Taylor swift to develop this fall, folklore and evermore are my favs✨
So, like, first off... good for you for finding joy in a number of things and allowing yourself to do so. That's a net good. My other thought, is that, liking things that aren't popular isn't always some internal attempt to signify that you're mysterious - sometimes you just find genuine joy in the odd. BUT, Being someone who likes odd things doesn't exclude you from also liking something more socially pallettable; you can be or do two things at once. People are really caught up in false dichotomies. You're team Edward or you're team Jacob. I don't think it's always necessary to have to "pick a side" - you can like veggies AND chicken in the same dish; they don't have to be seperate just because other people who participate in that fandom don't all also enjoy this other thing. You can just enjoy it!
NICOLE PLEASE THE NEW TWENTY ONE PILOTS ALBUM IS SO GOOD. seriously it’s been healing my soul getting back into them.
Retweet came here to say this🙏🙏
i am in fact a girl who does lie
Sorry just saying this is a whole video about you not having consumerized enough and now you're buying a lot of stuff just because its a trend. I thought the whole point of the last 5 years was to be ourselves authentically. Like this sounds like your authentic self may be to be trendy, but also so much of it coming from online kinda just gives consumption
i had this awakening about 2 years ago. i loved taylor swift as a kid but then denied her for years because it was trendy not to like her. i started listening to all of the songs i had missed and had so much fun rediscovering her. and not just with taylor swift, with a lot of things. life is so much happier when you start allowing yourself to just like the things you like and not trying to fit perfectly into a certain aesthetic or stereotype.