Whitney Cummings | I'm Your Girlfriend: Egg Freezing
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
- Whitney Cummings | 'm Your Girlfriend: Egg Freezing
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Whitney Cummings - I'm Your Girlfriend • Whitney Cummings | I'm...
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Fun fact, I have over 12 half-siblings because my dad was a sperm donor. Dude is a highly successful engineer/inventor who developed and discovered various waveforms and invented things you can see at any public place.
Apparently, my mom, one day, was like: "Hey, why not be a sperm donor? I can't have any more." So he did. Now I feel old all the time.
I should spend sperms too, our hole family, as far as we can look back, have zero diseases. I think, that is even more important as to become a genie.
did your half siblings become successful?
Damn
And his child support is $30,000 a month.
Why do you feel old all the time?
She has beautiful green eyes :)
Those are contacts
Yes very nice
Lenni Leem I put that comment down to get some little twatty fan like you tied up. 2 months later and you didn’t disappoint.
So?!
aren't they mostly blue?
The requirements for being a sperm donor are better requirements than what some people have for relationships. I'm surprised lol.
Or even to be into politics
Shin'nai: why? The requirements for adoption are higher than for being a biological parent.
Yeah but, they're two different things.
True but when you use the same requirements to be in a relationship people get upset about it
Well yeah because it's just for the sperm (genetics). It's not about whether you would hit it off with the future mom or not or what your dreams are or whatever tf. Use your brain
This is so much better than the other clips from her show why isn’t this more popular!
Egg freezing is an increasingly attractive option for many women looking to expand their family-building options by preserving their ‘younger,’ healthier eggs. This process might also be a viable solution for those with a low ovarian reserve or for cancer patients before starting cancer treatment.
Each egg freezing cycle involves three main phases:
- ovarian stimulation (stimulating the growth of multiple eggs by using special medication)
- egg retrieval (collecting mature eggs using ultrasound-guided aspiration)
- egg freezing (cooling collected eggs to subzero temperatures and storing them in a special nitrogen tank)
To use your frozen eggs, you will have to undergo IVF treatment. The first step is to thaw (warm) these frozen eggs and fertilize them with sperm. Sperm can be derived from a partner or a donor.
Once fertilized (typically after 3-5 days) the eggs can be implanted in the uterus or - in rare cases - a surrogate (gestational carrier).
Although it does not guarantee a future pregnancy, egg freezing allows you to extend your reproductive years and have children on your preferred schedule.
Horrible, madre mayor.
Thankfully she bought the feminist lie so we don't have to deal with anymore.
Excellent material. Especially the end
I like the material, but i'm not sure about the delivery. I see the jokes are pretty witty and well tought of but im not actually laughing
The best part was when it ended. Not funny at all. Didn’t even smile.
@@SuperFlanders007 Then why'd you watch it all the way to the end?
My mom loves the one “I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it”
Maybe she is a mobster....
Ha, an oldy but goody. I personally prefer guilt tripping to fear:
"I bought you into this world, you almost took me out of it"
A little something for my fellow mum's who also almost died in childbirth to use.
@@shadowboxing7029 haha that’s a nice twist, hopefully not pun intended 😅😬😭
I like how her last name is cummings
so appropriate
@@casperado666 come on !
It's how she got the eggs out
she changed it herself
idk what the fuck she was thinking but we've had people with the last name "play-station 2" so ye
If I am not mistaken, it is a brand name for gas power generators . She could be one. Better than a decent mother anyways.
God I love this woman . My best friend in my head lol.
AMEN
Yo she is funny as hell. And clever...and gorgeous
You do know that men who have kids beyond a certain age do have a high risk of having a kid with genetic issues.
Your sperm count, testosterone, and many hormones drop as you age as a man, so having a kid at an old age runs a high risk of having one with genetic issues.
You have a bigger chance to have kids with genetic issues if you are young and do a lot of drugs. As a matter of fact, I would take a 60 year old healthy, no vices over a 25 year old drug addict, any time.
That is incorrect.
@@Chesterd2 No, @Sunny shah is correct. Older fathers constitute risk factors.
@@Chesterd2 Older fathers are very high risk for genetic diseases in offspring. There are more mutations in sperm than in eggs, partly because the extra number of divisions it takes to make a sperm cell (I'll spare you the detailed cell biology of the processes). It's completely unfair not to tell men about this.
@@scottcharney1091 Because it correlates with old MOTHERS.
Love her delivery
Having kids for just 10 years.
That's a neat trick
The best years.
AND being deaf for most of it.
The thing is that the other parent/caretaker can't be an addict or irresponsible enough that would ruin the kid, which makes me wonder who would be willing to parent some 60-70's kid when they're a foot into the grave
I love her smile/expressions
2:21 Control your kid with the "I pay the bills" argument.
Ahhh that ending yessss
Smart and funny, great smile & beautiful eyes.
❤️ On 4 her
She has me cracking up
Why didn’t I get your videos recommended by UA-cam earlier?
You are absolutely hilarious ... the kind of humor which is hard to find ...
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Once Again had me in absolute stitches 😂
I want to see a Aisha Tyler and Whitney Cummings do a comedy jam show.
good point
Funniest woman in my opinion. But i feel attacked😂
yes she finds your ego and sticks with a dagger on it
I'm 5'7" and crying
You are awesome ! 😂❤
I want to be an entrepreneur.. 😂
She kinda looks like Courtney Cox post-surgery
The eyes though
Maybe they are related Cummings-cox?
Yo, you’re hilarious! Keep up the great work!
🤣😂🤣😂🤣Death truth
Mom: I carried u for 9 months
Me: Well, don't blame me for ur mistake I was doing fine before u decided to get pregnant
She would make an osm wonder woman
Real meaning of entrepreneurship
There will never be a time in which i wish to being life into this rotten world
Word, babies dont give consent to be born.
you must be fun at parties
@@Thatsme849 woosh
@@quarksarranged what woosh
@@quarksarranged yet here you are. Are you going to end it or just complain about it?
0:37 - she almost said "...so FUCK'N weird to me...."
I guess even she feels she uses "FUCK" too much in her monologues.
maan, whoever the lucky S.O is proly get sto see her mad & she proly gets hotter at that point. gorgeous face.
I feel if you had to guilt trip your kids and you had a surrogate carry them for you, you could say
*"I HAD TO PAY A FEW THOUSAND DOLLARS TO GET A WOMAN TO KEEP YOU INSIDE OF HER."*
Or something along those lines. I also feel you wouldn't be as connected or have that motherly bond with your child if you had a surrogate. Yes you would know the child is yours but that bond wouldn't be there, or it would be but not extremely strong.
I like you
Don’t be so sorry about someone, they need it too
loved this bit :)
Absolutely agree on her point about women having all those requirements for a man for sperm donation. Looser women or not its very prejudiced. Men or women doesn't matter, being so picky on something one can't control like height is Absolutely ridiculous!
Do you want to know the requirements for egg donors?
Between 21 to 28 years of age. So there's an age limit.
BMI (body mass index). Yes, weight limit. Not underweight, not overweight.
Needs to have some certification after high-school. Cant demand 4 years of college when there's an age cap.
Hey, don't downplay that L.A. traffic 😅
Who else 5'7"? *raises hand* Short kings put those hands up!
Amazing !!!!
Hilarious and insightful. How I'd describe Whitney Cummings' comedy
I'm not an entrepreneur but i do pro bono work at least twice a day :)
if you donated, you'd be rich
This is hell
Its her eyes... right??? Sooooo mesmerizing ....damn....
I'm 5'7
Does she not look just like Jessica Biel?!?! Also at times she resembles sandra Bullock.
Ashley Rocque i see angelina jolie
Nah. Jessica is hotter. Ask Justin.
Didn't she ever hear about the dangers of letting your kids be in refrigerators?
3:26 through 3:38, a woman talking about shallow bitchs!😊 Everybody target everybody. Thats real equality!
Either or both of the parents being physically old (I say physically because some people might be old in age but they took such good care of their body their eggs/sperm are super healthy) isn't good for the kid, mom or dad. The mom just matters more and has more effect (obviously), but either of the two being old raises the probability of the child being born with health problems.
Whitney I have the perfect guy for you Andrew Dice Clay! lol
*watches this skit as if it's a serious issue... 'Cause it is!*
Whitney Cummings, you have a new fan. They don't want me to give their name... You're really Smoking Hott and that other thing you do... You do it so well. Is it possible to go on a date with you? Thank You for the Laughs.
You are hilarious
She is just beautiful! We'd just marry her and live happily ever after,lol!
This comment is so wholesome :)
I'm 5'7"
i'm sorry for your loss
@@ilyescherguimalih8205 you're a dick
Some people should just not have kids.
It is cruel to call ur body or ur uterus molding appreciate it and love it.
Could you imagine if she was your mom? The mixed emotions that you experience like, on the daily? Caused by both her, and her fans when/if you met them. Speaking as an average looking child of two (from what I've been told multiple times) very attractive people, I can say that it makes for some seriously and annoyingly awkward situations. I was at a bar with my mom and got into a fight with a dude and his friends because he kept hitting on my mom. I didn't care about that, she can handle herself. But the guy kept forcing himself between us and literally trying to push me away and I shoved him to the floor telling him to get the fuck off me and stop touching me. Then fists started flying, the cops showed up and I explained everything truthfully and the bartender vouched for my side of the story. All in all a good birthday though!
Fuck I'm only 5'7
She's like the only actually hilarious female comedian...
TIL i cant be a donor cuz im 5'7 there goes my couple hundred dollars. fuck me!
How much $ for frozen eggs?
Someone else said she should be Meg in Hercules and I can't unsee it now
she gives the Bill Burr "Look" when she asks questions to the audience.... (Same manerisms)
i just watched nikki glaser doing the same material 😅😅
We better get Married and have kids NOW!!!!!!!
Try adoption?
she's pretty she looks like angelina joelie, do you think angelina is this scary in real life too? burnnnnn
ibid
I ll be your baby mama. I already have a 5 year old and my body bounced right back...
That's two guys and like um no??!!
COLEY FOLEY SAYS: SHE'S PRETTY ENOUGH, FEEMALE STALLKERS (VERY SMART, NOT SMARTER THAN COLEY FOLEY THOUGH... HAHAHA!) AND WOULD SHUT HER FUCKIN MOUTH BY----AT LEAST----75% IF YOU MADE HER SOME FUCKIN PROMISES... HAHAHA! (SHE HAS 15 MILLION TO OFFER YOU, IF U WANT HER...) ON "HBO" AGAIN RIGHT NOW.
You're set up for a big letdown - most of the time those eggs don't work.
and it costs upwards of 20 grand
US $100 😎🧬
My mom would guilt us too. Once she tried saying how long her labor took.
She really has issues
Shes hilarious :))
As a side note, I'm over 5'8"🦊🚬
just saying
She is too beautiful for stand ups and that makes it hard to laugh although her jokes are funny but I get lost in her green eyes
someone should tell her there is a 1 percent chance of the egg freeze actually working
when the doctor encourages you to get a donor, he has himself in mind (if male doctor)
Do you like DRUG?
If you get a really cool surrogate they might be willing to help guilt trip the kid into being good. Like they aren't listening to you so you can call in Back Up Mom aka Janis from accounting to just lay down the I carried you for 9 months line and then go get you a danish.
Big fan of her. But I do not think there is a reason for having a kid that is not either selfish or stupid!
I am 5'6. Now I feel I am worthless 😔
You missed the point then.
@@iamshadowbanned699 I guess I did😂
@@yashwanthrs3288 don't worry i feel your pain, I've had girls tell me they would never go out with me because I'm too short..... thats usually when i tell then i would never go out with them, too b!tchy
Yeah it’s actually crazy for the requirements of being a sperm donor, it’s almost you need to be the perfect specimen. 5’8, in perfect shape, college education, no family history of illness, balding, cancer etc.
Can we get some kind of collaboration with her and Sara Silverman plz?
She gives me a lesbian vibe no? Bi at least? Or maybe she’s like not aware of it yet?
Could be
Yeah but they rlly shouldn't. Imagine the men being like 70 when your child is 10, 12. How are they supposed to play and have a good relationship?
For that matter a 50year old men with a 10year old is sort of wired isn't it? He won't really be able to play much either, but it seems like still okay if he's fit. But like I think men should roughly around the same time as woman maybe stop having children unless they're execeptionaly fit.
I don't know what it is, but it is not that funny Too easy, ,judgy, open door, delivery feels too unoriginal, no connection with the audience. Feels like a Rachel Maddow. Talking and at the same time acting like the audience is stupid and getting more annoying everytime she stops too see if you get it or should get it.
Richard Beek she’s a little awkward- I see that. But it works overall, imo. I saw a pretty graceful ribbing of mostly women in the audience & her Sarah Silverman comment shows she knows she’s a “type” & not totally original. Has potential. 🤷♀️
Yeah, very bitter about life lol
Not that funny
Not funny at all.. not a bit. If you want to educate people , please do it.. But dont ruin stand up comedy.
What if the sperm donor just did 4 years of college and is a broke post graduate trying to get by?😅
She funny but she comes across like she's just regurgitating what she rehearsed and isn't talking TO the audience. Oh well.
freezing eggs is not particularly successful, funny bit though
Whoever did her face lift, should refund her moneyy