Whitney Cummings | I'm Your Girlfriend: Birth Control
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- Опубліковано 15 лис 2024
- Whitney Cummings | I'm Your Girlfriend: Birth Control
Watch the full thing on HBO: bit.ly/wcigys
The new Netflix special Can I Touch It? Streaming now: bit.ly/wcnetflix
Subscribe: bit.ly/wcytsub
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#WhitneyCummings #ImYourGirlfriend
Whitney Cummings - I'm Your Girlfriend • Whitney Cummings | I'm...
“I might aswell have a kid” 😭😭😭 THAT PART TOOK ME OUT!!!
I legit snorted
I laughed out loud!
Yes, that was the exact moment my cubicle mate heard me LOL and looked over, asking "what the fuck are you doing, we have a report due in two hours!"
Father of 3 here. I laughed my ass of and shouted "true, but worthwhile"
I raised 4 of 'em. I had everything but migranes. I finally got 'em all to adulthood now that I'm ready for death. 🤕
I feel like she speaks in all caps without shouting, it's impressive.
aaron4820 like john malauny?
She speaks in bold.
She Talks Like She Speaks In Titles.
Whitney Cummings, Katt Williams, Mitch Hedberg, Natasha Leggero, Norm MacDonald, Steve Harvey, John Mulaney.
It's her eyes... The stare
This woman. Literally takes philosophy, biology and technology 'elephants in the room' and shoves it off to our faces like it's nothing.
I love her.
false biology tho , you can't but a metal pipe inside the man's dick i think i don't need to explain basic biology or how male genitals work .
and why women get birth control the way thay are, why she upset about such stuff, you don't like how people invent sht fine ,invent ur own , maybe you should accept reality and accept the shape of your genitals .
@@mohnaax9617 Pretty typical response from someone who clearly doesn't want a metal rod in his dick.
While you're on your high horse about explaining how genitals work, did you know that it's actually much easier to inject a small blockage into our vas deferens to block the sperm than any IUD ever invented? And it's cheaper? And safer? And has, like, no side effects?
The only reason it wasn't invented earlier was because, well, guys don't like people going near their nuts. Let's make something for women instead, that'll keep our nuts safe!
Thankfully, the right research and testing is finally starting to push through on such a product, so people like me will be able to get it and not have to put my girlfriend through the bullshit and stress of female birth control options.
@@ivansmashem8304 sure, if the sperm control is not harmful; i don't see a reason to fight against that invention.
@@mohnaax9617 whoosh
@@mohnaax9617 it's just as bad for women. Metal and soft uterine tissue is like scrapping the inside of your cheek with a razorblade everyday. Look up the side effects, bleeding every day and very heavy period flows and fucking cancer, because yeah apparently the damage frow the foreign object in the uterine isthmus leads to scarring and tumor growth.
Taking the pill is also with risk of cancer after 5 years.
Men: we don't like wearing condoms. How about we create birth control that also kills women. That should fix all our problems
She is a mix of Angelina Jolie and Sandra Bullock! Right!? Also she funny.
Sangelina Jullock
Whitgelina Cumllock
Angelitney Bullcockings
Gal gadot
@@olofandersson184 yass
Yes!
This stand up is so educational...I don’t know anything know about the side effects of birth control till after I watched this video Lol. She should be the host for birth control events so audiences won’t fall asleep!
YoungOasis it’s tricking your body
The IUD tricks the body into thinking it's pregnant. The pill prevents the release of an egg each month.
@@easytoslip There's different kinds of pills, some prevent the egg from planting on the uterine lining and some prevent the release of the egg altogether (tricking the body into thinking they're pregnant).
She's still quite off about a lot of the side effects, though. The side effects she listed are VERY uncommon and it's advised you seek alternate methods if you get those symptoms.
Stroke is a one "good" side effect. Because pills thickening the blood.
She is actually making great points about society evolving faster than biology. Smart and funny. One of the best combinations out there.
the number of likes on your comment Mr ken :)
You do realize she became a meth head.
“Society evolving faster than biology”…that’s called being delusional. Biological science is the unmovable, unchangeable wall that society runs into and then chooses to ignore facts and truth and then demands everyone else participate in the delusion. The truth is, it is impossible for society to evolve past the reality of biology. But hey, science and truth are a religion of bigotry anyway.
I think Whitney Cummings is brilliant. If she were my girlfriend, I imagine at some point I'd ask her, "Am I a joke to you?" And if she said "yes," I would be happy.
best comment
Honestly I imagined the response being more “Are you kidding me? No, you're an entire routine.”
Jesus christ how big of a simp can you be
And you would title your autobiography 'My Life As A Punch Line'.
Hahaha
I love this woman's style - she's amazing! She can take the most off the wall topics, the ones most of us would only talk about quietly, and bring them completely into the open and make them real and hilarious too.
I really enjoy that Whitney puts such strain on social norms while delivering a really good joke. Like a TED talk that makes you almost pee yourself laughing
Idk about the negative comments; I like her.
@Alexander Leblanc Wtf is wrong with you? People like different things. I dont think she's funny, you do, both of those are appropriate opinions. But I definitely get why someone would dislike the video based on her views.
@Alexander Leblanc You're doing nothing but proving that you're a white knight
@Alexander Leblanc Wow there's crazy and then there's this.
@Alexander Leblanc I can't tell if you're trolling or if you're serious on this incel thing...
@Alexander Leblanc Nobody said you were "white" as in caucasian, you idiot. "White knight" refers to deeply insecure men, such as yourself, who need these self-righteous outbursts to feel better about themselves. Lemme guess you're "not like other guys" and "respect women" so much that you paternalize them and treat them like an infant without even realizing it. Bet your tinder bio has "chivalrous" in there somewhere, is that a good description? Smh You're the only incel here and don't even realise it.
I'm a guy and I think the tiny crying babies idea is genius. Ha!
It's brilliant. Thought the same
What's that have to do with being male?
@@ceterisparibus8966 LOL
She looks EXACTLY like my cousin. Weird
Anything beats DANCING babies.
0:55 "But what if there is a storm"
I'm dying 😂😅😂
Can you explain?
Lol halarious
Please explain
@@flaneurup Lightning is attracted to metal
@@imakuro9066 see explanation below
I love this. My only disappointment is not seeing her earlier
Sondra here here, where the hell has she been hiding?
Just found her yesterday (more like algorithm God found me) and I'm hooked
She's fast becoming one of my favorite comedians. Her material is fire! LOL
Same, she is just amazing! and this is my fourth video
This is the first Whitney Cummings thing I've seen that I like. She's basically making a routine out of coming to terms with being a woman. It's honest and it's funny 👍
How is it honest if you just rip on everything and have nothing to contribute positively?
@@etagged she doesn't have to put a positive spin on anything. She's not your therapist.
We’re talking about honesty, not my needs. And you misunderstood the word “positive”. A positive contribution is not the same as a positive spin.
She has been jaded her entire adolescent life, and finally at almost 40 she finally gets what she was always suppose to be.
Many of us don't find our way at all. Look at me, I am a Caveman!!
@@etagged omg your a snowflake hahahaha
Is that Angelina Jolie's sister ??
🙄
What
I guess its Courtney Cox's
She only has a brother
If you count the mouth so wide she eats with a laddle and not a spoon lol never mind I get it now lol
I'm glad she's talking about an important subject 😊 Serious issues are often best dealt with with an equal amount of seriousness and humour. Also, if you can't relate just because you're a guy, doesn't make it unfunny. It's funny for people who relate - that's usually how it is with comedy.
Her hair is on point like her jokes
Hands down favorite female comedian thus Far. I absolutely love Whitney and her humor
I love how she is flaming the whole audience 😂😂
She conveys an understanding of the human condition. Amazing talent. God Bless the Comedians !
She seems like the type of person to roast you for being alive, love it 🤣
I might as well have a kid!😂😂 she speaks the truth!😂😂
It drives me insane that “Whether” is spelled wrong in the subtitles.
Don’t let it effect you so much
Andrea Kae affect*. Oh no, its spreading
JurrasicShrimp Gaming that was the joke
Andrea Kae I am aware
JurrasicShrimp Gaming oh
Hmmmm hits her marks, very polished. Never heard of her before but like the intellect...well done!
Ok boomer
@@kingofchase2539 Jimminy crickets, Edith, I just got boomer'd, come on for heaven's sake move those velcro sneakers and look at the Internet screen here - here, I will increase the font...wheres the dang font button?
@@johnmcdonald5998 😂😂
The funniest comedians hold a verbal mirror toward society that enables us to see and laugh at ourselves.
One of the few awesome comics who includes subtitles for hearing impaired.
She's absolutely awesome..... She's evolved a lot since the beginning...
So proud of you girl..!!
This girl is hilarious, but she does it in a smart way. I was one of the viewers who was really disappointed when "Whitney" was cancelled, and "The Female Brain" is still one of my favorites. She's also seriously pretty and I won't even get started on that body. She easily could have been a model, but I'm glad she didn't go that route since it would probably mean that her jokes would never get out to us.
Fred Flintstone why’d you feel the need to comment on how she looks
callmewanderer I wouldn't say I "needed" to comment on her looks. Sure, 99% of my brain was entertained by the humor, but it's not like I can just switch off the "little head". It's a subroutine that's always running in the background whether I like it or not, (but mostly, I like it). I would put it down as one of those things that, if I had given it careful thought, I probably wouldn't have written. But you have to admit (just not necessarily "out loud") that she's attractive.
Fred Flintstone i mean the way she looks is besides the point, as a woman it is frustrating to be reduced to the way you look, or to have it at least be mentioned in the same breath as your achievements
callmewanderer OK, to be fair, her appearance doesn't contribute much to the world compared to her views and jokes on some subjects, but I can promise you her bf or fiancee or husband is glad she has it. It's not that I would reduce a woman to her appearance, a good appearance is just a bonus and can't make up for stupidity or a bad personality. But as much as I hate to admit it, there is a (at least partially subconscious) preference toward attractive women in much the same way that there is a (at least partially subconscious) preference toward tall and or wealthy men. Sure, people can be shallow (and I'm often guilty), but it's mostly just biology.
@@callmewanderer1055 If Jeremy meeks or some other really good looking man starts doing comedy, you think women aren't going to comment on how attractive they are? Get a grip. Fred, there's no need to be embarrassed about being attracted to an attractive woman. Mentioning it as a compliment doesn't require two paragraphs of manifesto about your intentions.
I'll be back. Gonna go buy some Axe body spray tm
So damn funny. Probably the funniest female comic alive today. And very good looking too, a super rare combination.
I like the idea of a birth control pill dispenser that begins crying at the same time each day.
Iliza Shleslinger bowled me over, and I'm just hearing about this lady? Man she is great!
She's always such a treat!!
omg her eyes are stunning, just like her jokes LUL
she's legitimately funny. This is really good stuff. This is both intelligent AND funny
Me: I don’t wanna take it, it’s not pretty like the other.
Whitney: “if you’re not gonna take it because it’s not pink, you’re ten years old.”
As a 50 year old married man we need more women like her!!! Like for real!!!
It might be comedy but she said truth and said brilliantly. Love her💗
She got hooked on drugs and lost her noodle. So sad.
@@jesterinmocrazy8686 Oh..I never knew that...So sad and so sorry for her
Your delivery is amazingly insane. Hope 2021 brings you to Florida for shows. Hell, we're open now.
this is serious stuff she's talking about though relatable
“Make it in the shape of crying babies” omg that’s horrifying I can’t 🤣😭 2:42
You always deliver 👏👏👏👏👏
She is so witty it's awesome.
"What should we do for birth control?"
...... *I HAVE AN IDEA..*
I think her Idea is genius... just saying... cause there are not birth control methods for men....
SUPER TALENTED
OMG, this lady is right!!
She is absolutely brilliant...the timing and delivery perfect ! The gorgeous face and body are the icing on that cake !
I second the crying baby pill xD
Whitney is awesome, I wish every woman could be this funny ,open and beautiful
Omg, this chick and I date the same dudes...
I love it.
80% of women go for 20% of men
I just discovered Whiney Cummings, down the rabbit hole I go!😂
“They would never make this product for men”
Wonder who made the product in the first place. 🤔
The product for men comes in many different calibers, 9mm is a popular one.
She speaks truth
I wanted to rant similarly when my wife and I were looking through birth control options 🤦🏽♀️
Her references are damm good ...loved it ..as a biologist I found it so stucking its dam hilarious ..
She takes real problems and make them funny. I already struggle with pain of endometriosis and cramp with tampons, so I refused to ever get an IUD after finding out they cause cramping. One woman told me her IUD disappeared in her body and doctors couldn't locate it. Wonder how long she was having unprotected sex without knowing her IUD wasn't even where it was supposed to be.
I love her and the way she thinks
She’s GOOD! I mean really GOOD.
In a 72 year old male laughing my ass off.
You go girl!
Whatever. If she looked like Hillary Clinton your comment world not exist.
Only just discovering her. Dude she's goooood. binge-ing now.
It's stunning to me that birth control is always the woman's responsibility.
Isn't it though. And when she ends up pregnant she all of a sudden did it to herself.
Believe me when i say if there was a pill us men could take to prevent getting people pregnant, we would be taking that pill wothout question.
@@snotellekS There actually is many in the works for men. Some trials have been stopped due to the pills causing the same symptoms pills already cause for women, but women are expected to grin and bear it. The medical establishment doesn't care about women
Because guys aren't responsible 😅
@@raegruder4626 Yeah, I guess that's just something to laugh about.
I am in awe. So smart, so truthful and so damn funny! Can't wait to see more
Great selfie
@@masteryoda394 thanks 😊
She is awesome😂 she may have messed up pink products
I love her voice.
She got dat can up in therrre LOL
thanks for sharing Whitney
I loved you on Howard Stern. Your robot is amazing! If your fiance or you get sick of it... ild really love to have/buy it from ya.
best woman stand up comedian by far.
😂to think the only female comedian I've heard of was amy, I'm glad Whitney was recommended to me, purge my memory if Amy's sound effects😂
Favorite female comedian, she’s super intelligent.
brilliance
What exactly was brilliant about this!
I
Damn she's good
What if there's a storm? Lightning bolt to the box. Thats funny!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
HAHAHAHAHAH THIS IS SO FUNNY! GET IT GUYS CUZ ITS FUNNY! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO LAUGH NOW! WHY AREN YOU LAUGHING AT RANTING LADY!?!?!
Matt
We laugh « with » her, and we laugh « at » you, the incel.
Love the fact that she's totally into the new world. Not a lot of beautiful, self-esteemed woman can handle the new world. They want all good from the old traditional and also the new modern world. A stunning woman.
1:20
Stop. Just stop. Even thinking about it... omg
The only female comic I love to watch!!!
I had problems with both the pill and the IUD. Hate them!
Where in the world could I ever be connected with a woman like you? Natural beauty and BRAINS! Such a wonderful combination.
Idk about who else watched this but I just felt like somebody was ranting to me and forced me to agree like wtf am I suppose to laugh now or wait
Perplex u know you dont have to watch it right
True
idk are you a guy cuz i related to it and i found it funny so idk
@@emilyrainflower25 why do you think it's a guy
I thought it was funny af.
DEFENDER OF WOMANKIND ^^^ Thank you Whitney Cummings!
Best birth control... Vasectomies and tubals.
Agreed. A vasectomy should given to every male age 13. Welcome to being a man. Free of charge. After you turn 18, if you want to reverse it, you pay for it and the original procedure.
David Beppler, I like your thinking.
Too many ppl on the planet as it is.
@Riso So is it illegal to circumcise them too? No? So that is just mutilating them without consent?
What about Stds/STIs.
@@davidbeppler3032 It is mutilating them without consent, obviously, it should be illegal.
She is awesome and so right. Feminism and humor,exciting and irresistible combo.
Cummings and birth control? What am I watching
I can relate with the IUD skit. My cousin was born with one of the metal IUD's imbedded in his forearm.
Mosaic Crone 😟
Wow that like hit me when she said they don't make IUDs for men 🙌😵
We have Condoms they work really simular. Stop the sperm easy an physical barrier.
"IUD" stands for "intrauterine device." Since men usually don't have a uterus, it makes sense.
This lady is epic.
Even if you don't think she is funny, you have to admit she is intelligent and a stand out talent
her eyes are so mesmerizing
Funny story. I know a doctor who told a married woman what pills she needs to take as birth control but due to a language barrier, the woman understood that she and her hubby had to take the pills together and not just her. The dude almost died. :)
Birth control pills are not toxic to men. The worst that could have happened to him is some sore nipples.
@@attilathechump9458 and mood swings I think.
this is first video of yours that i have seen..and already a big fan..😃🙌
Guys will find any excuse to hate on female comedians
Cara Wood any excuse ? Like not being very funny?
andrew lake actually yes kinda. Of course it’s okay to not find her funny, but there’s men out there who have it so ingrained in their brain that women aren’t funny that even if what the comedian is saying is funny they still won’t laugh because she’s a woman. It’s just sexism.
Cara Wood fair enough that does exist but that’s the older generation. For someone reason a lot of her stuff has been coming up in my recommendations lately so I’ve watched maybe 10 clips an they’re smirk worthy at best. A lot of her material is for woman only if a man performed men only material there would be a up cry
andrew lake a lot of men mostly talk about their issues too. People talk about their gender because that’s what they know.
Cara Wood “a lot of men mostly”that is a huge exaggeration she talks about a lot of stuff that is purely for woman that men can’t relate to an try’s to make men sound dumb. It’s pretty undeniable that she does the proof in the pudding. Bert kerchier Tom segura joe Rogan Dave Chapelle are my favs they literally never talk about topics that are specific to there gender or be little the other sex. It seems like that’s 100% of her material well that I’ve seen 5-10 clips
watching this as there is a severe thunderstorm going on outside....a perfect evening
This lady is hilarious. Love the butthurt "nOT aLL MeN!!!" comments, too. Reading those are half the fun.
I mean vasectomies 100% exist, and its 10x worse than sticking a tin can up there.
@@jonmacdonald2193 how is a vasectomy 10x worse than an IUD??? A vasectomy has essentially zero side effects and is usually reversible.
@@BigSam63 Its much worse because instead of just putting metal in your vagina, you are literally cutting parts of you dick. IUD doesnt have any serious complications, but of course there are down sides to it. Here are some of the downsides of a vasectomy
- Chronic pain, which can happen for 1 to 2 percent of those who have surgery
- Fluid buildup in the testicle, which can cause a dull ache that gets worse with ejaculation
- Inflammation caused by leaking sperm (granuloma)
- Pregnancy, in the event that your vasectomy fails, which is rare.
- An abnormal cyst (spermatocele) that develops in the small, coiled tube located on the upper testicle that collects and transports sperm (epididymis)
- A fluid-filled sac (hydrocele) surrounding a testicle that causes swelling in the scrotum
Vasectomies are more safe than the womans alternative, but birth control and IUDs are much more safe than vasectomies.
Sean Callahan my question is: are all men like that, then? Because from the way you just said it, it seems like they are.
@@ioncekilledamanwithmyshoe That's what we call "reaching." As in, that's what you want the comment to mean. But if this stuff gets guys all twisted up while they're listening to it, they're probably the type of tool who should be concerned. Imagine one of Jordan Peterson's idiot followers after listening to this! Their blood pressure would be through the roof! Cause if you're an idiot, this type of comedy is calling you on your shit. If you're not, it has nothing to do with you and you can laugh along, cause you know exactly the type of idiot she's mocking. Yeah, there are plenty of cool humans out there on all sides, in all countries. But the guy raging after watching this is not one of them. lol.
😂😂😂 calling out the crowd
Informative indeed . Where is the funny?
@ZeeZee Zputnik well Mr Mahmoud is quite right .. don't hate him cuz of the name sounds like a alqaida member. Couldn't find her funny I believe she was talking about some personal experiences that didn't result in her advantage!
@@frankyfourfingers6686 haha alqaida member . See , that's funny 😂
@ZeeZee Zputnik She wasn't funny to me , but it's fine if you find her funny . It's a matter of taste 😁
@ZeeZee Zputnik the anger I'm feeling in your comment makes me wonder if you are truly like this in real life .. troubled angry person!
I luv this woman!
me watching this realizing taking the pill has completely changed my type in men 👁👄👁
She rocks