I was lucky to have a doctor who gladly gave me a bilateral salpingectomy when I was 33 years old and didn't have any children already. He said he knew I thought through it and understood everything and to just call for the appointment whenever I'm ready. Thankfully, I got it done the year before he officially retired.
One thing I can respect about couples having children at their own pace is that the marriage is about the love between a man and a woman. That love takes precedence over a child. Because in the end, no matter what terrible things happen in life, your love has to survive those things. Additionally, as The Man, your woman needs to have confidence that if an intruder were to come into the house that you would defend the family to the death. You have to be her rock. This is why an insecure woman will start fights for no reason. Can your love survive it? Then and only then does it make sense to bring a child into the world. I dated my girlfriend for six years before we got married. We were so sure about what we were doing that I got her pregnant the night of our wedding. One day she was gardening and she lifted a heavy bag and developed bleeding. I was on a long business trip and rushed back home. by the time I made it she had lost the baby. She was pretty far along and it was so sad because you could see he was fully formed. She asked me if she should see it and I told her no, and implied it wasn’t as far along as it was. She took it really hard and considered never having children. Over time I helped her through it and convinced her that if lifting a single bag caused a detachment that he may not have had a proper blood supply in the first place. While that was technically possible I really didn’t know. However a man has to be her rock. Within a couple of months she wanted to try again and started panicking when she wasn’t pregnant 2 weeks later. Again, you have to be strong for her. She is about to become very vulnerable again. Obviously I told her that people don’t usually get pregnant for a few months. 2 weeks later the pregnancy test was positive. Some people would try and have their wife stay sequestered after a miscarriage. I told her to go about her life normally because I didn’t want her to worry about it. She is also feeling vulnerable because of her weight gain. She needs to feel desired, so we even continued our normal sex life. After 9 months and 40 hours of labor she had our first child. After her second child she had terrible postpartum. We stopped at 2 even though I wanted 5. She wanted to move back home to be close to family and I eventually relented. She was so happy she decided to have a 3rd. However the postpartum was so terrible I had to help her since she couldn’t bear to even hold him. She felt guilty which made her even more depressed but I told her not to feel bad about it, she would slowly feel better. I was so confident she never questioned me. In truth I didn’t know, but again a woman needs you to suck it up and be her rock. The doctor prescribed her prozac but it not only killed her sex drive, she said to me she wanted to stop taking it because she was hating me 😮. She stopped and a few weeks later she returned to normal. Before long she was bonding with her new baby also. She felt terrible about her behavior but I talked her through it I never had any doubt she would bond with him. Of course I am a swirling cauldron of doubts, but I was confident no matter what happened we would come out the other side. If you don’t feel right having children, don’t. Your husband has to be your rock. Unless you’d follow him to hell and back, don’t.
Married and childfree AND Asian. Doctor visits are mostly great but a visit to gynae usually still require the husband’s signature 😂. Oh wells. Thanks for the talk, just subscribed!
Ahh... the topic of health care. I've had chronic illnesses since childhood so going to the doctor on my own is just my reality. Plus for long periods of my life, I was quite alone, as well - living far away from my direct family, no partner, no close friend etc. What I notice with (debilitating) pain complaints is that doctors see you are there on your own and they don't take you as seriously. But if there is someone with you, it is automatically a serious issue. Once after an accident, with a dislocated shoulder & broken bones, the EMT were shocked at how calm I was. They said 'the biggest most macho men we've had were screaming and crying for their moms with what you've got'. That always made me think - maybe if I scream and cry, doctors will take me, as a female, more seriously, but then again I risk being seen as a hysterical lady who needs attention. 😡
My husband and I moved to the South a few years ago, and I feel like I need to bring my husband to be taken seriously, even to the bank. As an Asian woman, people treat me differently in many places. Even a female medical practitioner jokingly asked "So... No kids?" when we were talking about different contraceptive methods. Also, she kept pushing me to get an IUD again, even after I had already told her that it was almost like an exorcism (how painful it was, and my body literally was twisting). Not to be mean, but I'm paying you to observe me and provide what I need, so just do that.
In the US I experienced a doctor bullying me about surgery when I knew I didn't need it. I brought my husband in for the next appointment and the doctor brought in the surgeon. Again I said no and my husband backed me up. We moved to a different country and got the same issue checked out and were told that I would never need surgery for this and years later I never have.
I feel like that's the advantage of being single and CF. My doctors have to hear me because it's just me. Either that or I just have some great doctors.
Two people, i would love to haveciffew you are awesome. It's wrong that the woman is treated like a child. Most doctors refuse to fo it because of them being women. Those same doctors have no problem doing it if a man says the same thing that they don't want kid's
Hello! I made an announcement on my community page that I would be taking November/December off due to the business of the season and to protect my well being by not over committing myself. I will be sharing a childfree related video regarding my recent travel soon and then resuming in January on a new bi-weekly schedule. ☺️ ua-cam.com/users/postUgkxiN67dgv0_uXsa5IF9pXRLx6uJFeAgucY?si=zjvCh7G1rY-JQ9ua
I was lucky to have a doctor who gladly gave me a bilateral salpingectomy when I was 33 years old and didn't have any children already. He said he knew I thought through it and understood everything and to just call for the appointment whenever I'm ready. Thankfully, I got it done the year before he officially retired.
One thing I can respect about couples having children at their own pace is that the marriage is about the love between a man and a woman. That love takes precedence over a child. Because in the end, no matter what terrible things happen in life, your love has to survive those things. Additionally, as The Man, your woman needs to have confidence that if an intruder were to come into the house that you would defend the family to the death. You have to be her rock. This is why an insecure woman will start fights for no reason. Can your love survive it?
Then and only then does it make sense to bring a child into the world.
I dated my girlfriend for six years before we got married. We were so sure about what we were doing that I got her pregnant the night of our wedding.
One day she was gardening and she lifted a heavy bag and developed bleeding. I was on a long business trip and rushed back home. by the time I made it she had lost the baby. She was pretty far along and it was so sad because you could see he was fully formed. She asked me if she should see it and I told her no, and implied it wasn’t as far along as it was. She took it really hard and considered never having children. Over time I helped her through it and convinced her that if lifting a single bag caused a detachment that he may not have had a proper blood supply in the first place. While that was technically possible I really didn’t know. However a man has to be her rock. Within a couple of months she wanted to try again and started panicking when she wasn’t pregnant 2 weeks later. Again, you have to be strong for her. She is about to become very vulnerable again. Obviously I told her that people don’t usually get pregnant for a few months. 2 weeks later the pregnancy test was positive.
Some people would try and have their wife stay sequestered after a miscarriage. I told her to go about her life normally because I didn’t want her to worry about it. She is also feeling vulnerable because of her weight gain. She needs to feel desired, so we even continued our normal sex life. After 9 months and 40 hours of labor she had our first child.
After her second child she had terrible postpartum. We stopped at 2 even though I wanted 5. She wanted to move back home to be close to family and I eventually relented. She was so happy she decided to have a 3rd.
However the postpartum was so terrible I had to help her since she couldn’t bear to even hold him. She felt guilty which made her even more depressed but I told her not to feel bad about it, she would slowly feel better. I was so confident she never questioned me. In truth I didn’t know, but again a woman needs you to suck it up and be her rock.
The doctor prescribed her prozac but it not only killed her sex drive, she said to me she wanted to stop taking it because she was hating me 😮. She stopped and a few weeks later she returned to normal. Before long she was bonding with her new baby also. She felt terrible about her behavior but I talked her through it I never had any doubt she would bond with him. Of course I am a swirling cauldron of doubts, but I was confident no matter what happened we would come out the other side.
If you don’t feel right having children, don’t. Your husband has to be your rock. Unless you’d follow him to hell and back, don’t.
Looking forward to a new episode! ❤
As a single/unmarried and childfree man, I don’t have to worry about any of that.
That’s good! 🙌🙌🙌
Married and childfree AND Asian. Doctor visits are mostly great but a visit to gynae usually still require the husband’s signature 😂. Oh wells. Thanks for the talk, just subscribed!
Ahh... the topic of health care. I've had chronic illnesses since childhood so going to the doctor on my own is just my reality. Plus for long periods of my life, I was quite alone, as well - living far away from my direct family, no partner, no close friend etc. What I notice with (debilitating) pain complaints is that doctors see you are there on your own and they don't take you as seriously. But if there is someone with you, it is automatically a serious issue. Once after an accident, with a dislocated shoulder & broken bones, the EMT were shocked at how calm I was. They said 'the biggest most macho men we've had were screaming and crying for their moms with what you've got'. That always made me think - maybe if I scream and cry, doctors will take me, as a female, more seriously, but then again I risk being seen as a hysterical lady who needs attention. 😡
My husband and I moved to the South a few years ago, and I feel like I need to bring my husband to be taken seriously, even to the bank. As an Asian woman, people treat me differently in many places. Even a female medical practitioner jokingly asked "So... No kids?" when we were talking about different contraceptive methods. Also, she kept pushing me to get an IUD again, even after I had already told her that it was almost like an exorcism (how painful it was, and my body literally was twisting). Not to be mean, but I'm paying you to observe me and provide what I need, so just do that.
In the US I experienced a doctor bullying me about surgery when I knew I didn't need it. I brought my husband in for the next appointment and the doctor brought in the surgeon. Again I said no and my husband backed me up. We moved to a different country and got the same issue checked out and were told that I would never need surgery for this and years later I never have.
I feel like that's the advantage of being single and CF. My doctors have to hear me because it's just me. Either that or I just have some great doctors.
Two people, i would love to haveciffew you are awesome. It's wrong that the woman is treated like a child. Most doctors refuse to fo it because of them being women. Those same doctors have no problem doing it if a man says the same thing that they don't want kid's
Why did you stop uploading videos ?
Hello! I made an announcement on my community page that I would be taking November/December off due to the business of the season and to protect my well being by not over committing myself. I will be sharing a childfree related video regarding my recent travel soon and then resuming in January on a new bi-weekly schedule. ☺️
ua-cam.com/users/postUgkxiN67dgv0_uXsa5IF9pXRLx6uJFeAgucY?si=zjvCh7G1rY-JQ9ua
@@diaryofthechildfree enjoy your life and i will be waiting for next video