The Most Bizarre Defenses Used in Murder Trials

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 31 бер 2024
  • 👟 Grab your pair now at vessi.com/blaze for 15% off your first order!
    Join this channel to get access to perks:
    / @brainblaze6526
    GET AN EPIC BEARD: beardblaze.com
    BECOME A LEGEND (with ease) by joining my Legendary Legends Newsletter: t.co/jedug2vS4Q?amp=1
    Simon's Social Media:
    Twitter: / simonwhistler
    Instagram: / simonwhistler
    This video is #sponsored by Vessi.
    Love content? Check out Simon's other UA-cam Channels:
    Warographics: / @warographics643
    MegaProjects: / @megaprojects9649
    SideProjects: / @sideprojects
    Into The Shadows: / intotheshadows
    Today I Found Out: / todayifoundout
    Highlight History: / @highlighthistory
    Brain Blaze: / @brainblaze6526
    Casual Criminalist: / thecasualcriminalist
    Decoding the Unknown: / @decodingtheunknown2373
    Places: / @places302
    Astrographics: / @astrographics-ve4yq
  • Розваги

КОМЕНТАРІ • 537

  • @brainblaze6526
    @brainblaze6526  2 місяці тому +14

    👟 Big ups to Vessi for keeping my feet dry! Check out vessi.com/blaze for 15% off your first order!

    • @LittleBallOfPurr
      @LittleBallOfPurr 2 місяці тому +5

      It's a shame that the first UA-cam advert I've ever been interested in, doesn't ship to the UK. The shoes do look lush.

    • @emanuelmolin2713
      @emanuelmolin2713 2 місяці тому +1

      😅😅😅😅

    • @L4r5man
      @L4r5man 2 місяці тому +2

      I've wanted to buy Vessi for some time now, but they don't ship to Europe. :(

    • @skinned66
      @skinned66 2 місяці тому +1

      I saw the gently used shoes on the the table. These better be as good as you say, fact boy.

    • @jonlavigne3270
      @jonlavigne3270 2 місяці тому

      These are pretty expensive unfortunately.

  • @gilliganallmighty3
    @gilliganallmighty3 2 місяці тому +413

    Tha afluenza defense should have gotten the lawyer, judge, attorney, and parents in prison.

    • @maurer3d
      @maurer3d 2 місяці тому +36

      "I didn't know any better my parents are rich"

    • @dannyslag
      @dannyslag 2 місяці тому +40

      Agreed.
      Sadly under capitalism being rich is immunity to all crimes.

    • @Zebulization
      @Zebulization 2 місяці тому +10

      Now, now, some lawyer is going to get stuck with defending the guy. I think lawyers are supposed to defend their clients to the best of their ability. I think defense lawyers can be disbarred for intentionally throwing a case. It would be hard to prove, but I think it is written somewhere. Besides, at that point, lawyers could be bribed to throw without consequences. Corporations would love that. "Our newest executives are always the ones embezzling and failing to report safety hazards. Strange coincidence."

    • @captainspaulding5963
      @captainspaulding5963 2 місяці тому +9

      ​@Zebulization you can also refuse to take a case, or after you start, you can excuse yourself as a lawyer.

    • @Conundrum191
      @Conundrum191 2 місяці тому +12

      at a minimum once he was caught drinking afterwards it should have been the full 20 year sentence. He never should have gotten off to start, but most definitely not afterwards (2 years is nothing).

  • @DeathByBlonde1
    @DeathByBlonde1 2 місяці тому +131

    The Chewbacca Coke Zero bit is top tier and had my teen son and I rolling. 😂😂😂

    • @cheekyb71
      @cheekyb71 2 місяці тому +10

      I don't know how I've never seen that clip before, but I laughed hard, played it for my husband, and we snortlaughfarted 😂😂😂

    • @mikieswart
      @mikieswart 2 місяці тому +3

      it’s an absolutely perfect clip

    • @slcpunk2740
      @slcpunk2740 2 місяці тому +1

      Indeed

  • @margaretwhite961
    @margaretwhite961 2 місяці тому +14

    The "affluenza" kid served less prison time for killing four people than his mom did for money laundering. Shame on the judge, attorneys, prosecutors, and jury.

  • @cbdy1358
    @cbdy1358 2 місяці тому +184

    So I’ve actually met some of the Deputies who investigated Ethan Couche’s crash and they were still pissed, understandably. They also said “allegedly” the judge retired very soon after a very wealthy man

    • @olaftheblack2012
      @olaftheblack2012 2 місяці тому +9

      "allegedly"

    • @joannaedssay5988
      @joannaedssay5988 2 місяці тому +1

      @@olaftheblack2012 McUltra

    • @DookRahool
      @DookRahool 2 місяці тому +1

      Shocker

    • @rhov-anion
      @rhov-anion Місяць тому +4

      That actually makes a lot of sense. The most corrupt judges live in Louisiana and Texas. (As someone from Arkansas who has driven through those states many times and has plenty of family who has -- allegedly -- greased a palm of a corrupt policeman just to avoid having to stand before an even more corrupt judge, whose palm demands even more greasing.)

  • @bipolarminddroppings
    @bipolarminddroppings 2 місяці тому +78

    Lawyer: "He is too rich to understand consequences"
    If im that judge: "He is about to learn..."

    • @tommyxboy101
      @tommyxboy101 2 місяці тому +5

      "in that case, Jail will be very interesting"

  • @Ogre-zr5zk
    @Ogre-zr5zk 2 місяці тому +85

    Being drunk makes it less severe because the people who write the laws like to drink, and don't like the idea that getting drunk is wrong. The same way most of them don't smoke crack but may snort coke form time to time, leading to possession of an ounce of coke being less serious than a few grams of crack in most US states.

    • @davidboysel4509
      @davidboysel4509 2 місяці тому

      I'm normally the whitest guy in the Room The reason that they are so hard on crack Cocaine is originally it was a drug used by the minorities and the poor And in most cases the people writing the laws are wealthy and white

    • @apriljk6557
      @apriljk6557 2 місяці тому +8

      Yeah that's kinda a self-report, isn't it. Same with the laws against child marriages in some states.

  • @ladylove8565
    @ladylove8565 2 місяці тому +28

    I remember there was a lady who was driving home one night and she hit a man on the road who died from his injuries. She wasnt charged with anything in that situation because she stopped immediately as she thought she had hit a deer and wanted to check on it but another driver who pulled up behind her told her to stay in the car because it wasnt a deer she had hit but rather a person. Emergency services were called and the woman was taken into the local station for questions. The man she hit was one of small cities regular drunks who could often be found walking home which was in a rural area on the outskirts of the city. If he wasnt stumbling home along the side of the highway he could often be found sleeping in the ditch off the roadside except this time he was stumbling along and decided to sleep on side of the highway mostly in traffic lane. It was one of those pitch black nights with no moon so the poor woman didnt even see him sleeping on the highway. It wasn't until she felt something hit the car and thinking it was a deer she had hit. This is one way a person can hit another and it be a complete accident on their part

    • @aloeme
      @aloeme 2 місяці тому +3

      " It was one of those pitch black nights with no moon so the poor woman didnt even see him sleeping on the highway."
      You mean she couldn't be arsed to turn on her lights either?

    • @ladylove8565
      @ladylove8565 Місяць тому +2

      @@aloeme I hate to be the one to tell you this but even with headlights on you can't always see things. I got lost trying to find my way home to ranch I lived on for over 15 years because it was simply too dark and foggy out. I couldn't tell the difference between the range road I was supposed to drive down to my house and one of those roadside pull over places. I only managed to find my house when I called someone to meet me on the end of the range road I was supposed to be on with their lights that I was finally able to track down the correct road and not end up in a field somewhere along the way. That's just another example of how even with lights on its possible to not be able to see clearly

    • @ABC1701A
      @ABC1701A Місяць тому +1

      @@aloeme dark/black clothing at night on a black road surface, you wouldn't see it

    • @jasperzatch610
      @jasperzatch610 Місяць тому

      You've never seen an animal in your headlights and still accidentally hit them? Incredible driving my dude ​@@aloeme

  • @ztoob8898
    @ztoob8898 2 місяці тому +13

    19:06 - Plot twist: The theme song for the show "Baretta", which made Robert Blake a more-or-less household name in the U.S. in the 70s, had a theme song called "Keep Your Eye On the Sparrow," which was sung by Sammy Davis, Jr., and had this as its second rhyming couplet: "Don't do the crime/ If you can't do the time."
    *Irony!*
    The song was written by famous keyboard composer/performer Dave Grusin (music) and musical artist Morgan Ames (lyrics). In the liner notes to the Sheffield LP "Dave Grusin: Discovered Again!", Ames said the first lyrics she came up with were this couplet: "Keep your eye on the sparrow / when the going gets narrow", and she fleshed it out from there.
    Thank you for attending my TED talk.

  • @paulkmecak2940
    @paulkmecak2940 2 місяці тому +72

    "Leave the gun. Take the cannoli". From "The Godfather". I think that's what you remember.

  • @Gitshiver
    @Gitshiver 2 місяці тому +39

    to be fair, wouldn't any rage Dave that flew into be a blind rage?

    • @ghost_curse
      @ghost_curse 2 місяці тому +2

      Yeah, but it was Kevin who wrote this one

    • @Daniel-rp7nb
      @Daniel-rp7nb 2 місяці тому +2

      Awwwww mis-placed great joke… sad but still made me laugh

  • @DatAsuna
    @DatAsuna 2 місяці тому +6

    One thing I always hate about cases like the affluenza one is that focus gets put exclusively on the people who died while ignoring the even greater number of people who suffer life changing disabilities and continue to suffer for decades more as a consequence of his actions.

  • @daverapp
    @daverapp 2 місяці тому +11

    For those who don't know, the Chewbacca Defense is where the attorney attempts to confuse the jury with unrelated facts and irrelevant information in the hopes that they collectively decide that the whole thing is nonsense and throw the case out. This is an actual strategy that sees occasional use, but it's named after an episode of South Park where a lawyer goes on a tangent about Chewbacca and the Ewoks in the middle of a court room. It works in South Park but Legal Eagle says it doesn't work so good in real life, so... don't try it.

    • @shanerasmussen5225
      @shanerasmussen5225 2 місяці тому +3

      It is actually based on the "gloves don't fit" defense utilized in OJ Simpson's murder trial. The South Park episode was parodying that defense.

    • @danielnix5682
      @danielnix5682 2 місяці тому

      "If the gloves don't fit, you must acquit"

    • @honeybadger6493
      @honeybadger6493 Місяць тому

      More like if the gloves don't fit the defendant hasn't taken their arthritis medication for a week

  • @odditybloggity
    @odditybloggity 2 місяці тому +46

    The one I remember the most is the Twinkie Defense during the trial of Dan White for the murder of Harvey Milk and George Moscone. The defense team used a psychologist to try to prove that he was depressed, and that the combination of depression and eating more junk food than usual (including Twinkies and Coca Cola) led to a state of diminished capacity. His first degree murder charge was changed to voluntary manslaughter because of it, reducing the amount of jail time significantly.

    • @Megan-sf5vf
      @Megan-sf5vf 2 місяці тому +7

      That's... mindblowing to me.

    • @TGWazoo1
      @TGWazoo1 2 місяці тому +1

      I read the Twinkie Defense originated in the UK.

    • @apriljk6557
      @apriljk6557 2 місяці тому +7

      TF, someone better tell hostess so they can put a disclaimer on the boxes.

    • @esmeraldagreengate4354
      @esmeraldagreengate4354 2 місяці тому

      We really are in the upside down

    • @ABC1701A
      @ABC1701A Місяць тому

      @@TGWazoo1 not according to google - and twinkies are a USA ''food''stuff

  • @Tenchinu
    @Tenchinu 2 місяці тому +22

    Venture Bros, Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law, and now Metalocalypse.
    ma boi Julian had a good childhood

    • @VulianJu
      @VulianJu 2 місяці тому +8

      I did. Seems like you did too.

    • @semaj_5022
      @semaj_5022 2 місяці тому +5

      @@VulianJu Not to mention the Team Four Star clips! Your taste in clips and memes is just my teens and I'm here for it.

  • @r9eaper
    @r9eaper 2 місяці тому +61

    I nearly choked on a piece of my Cadburys Button Egg when I heard that opening line to this video! xD lol

    • @endearingteacup
      @endearingteacup 2 місяці тому +6

      I definitely chocked for a few seconds…also on food. Definitely on food.

    • @almighty3946
      @almighty3946 2 місяці тому +5

      ⁠@@endearingteacup ohhhh yeah???!!! That’s what they all say.

    • @dear.ambelina
      @dear.ambelina 2 місяці тому +1

      Same, but a ressee's egg.

    • @gennystout8952
      @gennystout8952 2 місяці тому +2

      I was eating pizza, cheese sticks, and loaded french fries during this entire episode 😂😂😂😂 my mom thought I lost my mind when I spat out a big bite of pizza and started laughing 😅😅😅😅

    • @ThatWriterKevin
      @ThatWriterKevin 2 місяці тому +2

      Tis the season!

  • @ignitionfrn2223
    @ignitionfrn2223 2 місяці тому +26

    2:20 - Mid roll ads
    4:20 - Chapter 1 - The affluenza defense
    11:45 - Chapter 2 - The gay panic defense
    18:55 - Chapter 3 - The murder of bonnie lee bakley

    • @lucienrubyart
      @lucienrubyart 2 місяці тому

      Thank you

    • @Tenchinu
      @Tenchinu 2 місяці тому

      doing gawds work

    • @TashaBryanUK
      @TashaBryanUK 2 місяці тому

      The hero we've grown to appreciate. Thanks!

  • @michaeldrake798
    @michaeldrake798 2 місяці тому +22

    I love the editors love of DBZA.
    Thank you Team Four Star for changing the meme game😂

    • @semaj_5022
      @semaj_5022 2 місяці тому +2

      It makes me giddy every time a DBZ Abridged clip pops up on here. It also makes me want to rewatch the whole series every time. haha

  • @Zutia
    @Zutia 2 місяці тому +40

    The gay panic defence has massive roots in transphobia as well. There are far too many of us who've been murdered simply because transphobes figure out or suspect that we're trans. "I thought I was being hit on by a real woman/man but instead THEY'RE TRYNA TRICK ME INTO BEIN' GAY"

    • @Kitsudote
      @Kitsudote 26 днів тому

      People just love being scared about literally anything - except the things we should be scared... Imagine what paradise we could have here on earth.

  • @Im-Not-a-Dog
    @Im-Not-a-Dog 2 місяці тому +59

    I strongly agree with Simon's opinions on what the punishment gor drunk driving should be.
    In this day and age, there is no excuse for driving while drunk. Everyone knows the risks involved, and if you choose to endanger the public at large by drunk driving you should face serious consequences, not just community service.

    • @djgeorgetsagkadopoulos
      @djgeorgetsagkadopoulos 2 місяці тому +13

      In most EU countries, you're pretty much toasted if you're found driving over the legal limit. Not only that, but you're guilty from the moment you started your car, and this guilt supersedes most other faults.
      So, if you're waiting "drunk" on a red traffic light to turn green and another car slams on you from your back, YOU are the one in fault, not the car that slammed you! This would not be the case if you were not drunk, but since you're drunk, you basically have no legal defense against almost all traffic laws. Also insurance does NOT cover you in that case.
      Perhaps US should borrow some of these laws ?

    • @apriljk6557
      @apriljk6557 2 місяці тому +4

      ​@@djgeorgetsagkadopoulos I don't know about the insurance one because they don't deserve anymore breaks or reasons to deny coverage to their subscribers. Victims would also be left to flounder if they can't collect from insurance.

    • @apriljk6557
      @apriljk6557 2 місяці тому +1

      I think because young people can make extremely stupid and rashes decisions without fully understanding the consequences of their actions, imo, unless they harm someone, they should get one chance to make better choices without jail time.

    • @djgeorgetsagkadopoulos
      @djgeorgetsagkadopoulos 2 місяці тому +3

      @apriljk6557 insurance doesn't work like this here in EU.
      Insurance will cover a major part of expenses related to damages against third parties, but then (if you are over the legal limit) they will come after you to collect the money (or a part of it anyway) they spent.
      This ensures that third parties will get what they deserve, and also somehow makes individuals to think twice before driving drunk because if anything happens they will most likely have to pay for it eventually from their own money.

    • @Poppy-yx8js
      @Poppy-yx8js Місяць тому

      1st time offenders lose a license for 1 year . Spend the night in jail. Have to attend 15 weeks of education. And do community service. If it’s a second offense with a certain time frame of the first the penalty is often mandatory time - maybe an attorney can get this negotiated. If anyone was hurt - this is taken into consideration as well . The penalty is already quite high.

  • @jonLK47
    @jonLK47 2 місяці тому +20

    on Brain Blaze Simon talks about how good the FBI are at their jobs. So how about a Brain Blaze video of Some FBI solved cases that were notable and impressive

    • @Vaeldarg
      @Vaeldarg 2 місяці тому +1

      The Mirai botnet case would be a good one. It had grown so large, it became a threat to the very infrastructure the internet relies on to function.

  • @am53n8
    @am53n8 2 місяці тому +18

    I'm willing to listen to a lot of arguments, but I think after "I'm too rich for these peasant laws" my court date is gonna be the next one

  • @rubiconnn
    @rubiconnn 2 місяці тому +25

    To anyone who isn't aware of what Jerry Springer's show was like, I highly suggest listening to the parody of the song "One Week" called "Jerry Springer" by Weird Al. It's a perfect description.

    • @mikeharris5681
      @mikeharris5681 2 місяці тому

      I always found weird Al yankovich to be surprisingly unfunny considering his level of fame... probably just me.

    • @choughed3072
      @choughed3072 2 місяці тому

      ​@@mikeharris5681I know what you mean (I think). Don't get me wrong Al Yankovic is a very talented individual but his humour is quite childish.

    • @3Girliez
      @3Girliez 2 місяці тому +1

      Or you look it up on YT 😂😂

    • @apriljk6557
      @apriljk6557 2 місяці тому

      ​@@mikeharris5681 he's had a few bangers, imo. People in the 80s were completely uncool and the prevailing humor was goofy and cheesy af. I mean, most of the content on TV wasn't very funny by today's standards, unless it's consumed as a parody of the strangeness of the time when sitcoms were filmed in front of a studio full of people and their reactions were part of the experience of the shows. There was some funny stuff but most of the stuff aired on TV had to appeal to a broad audience, including kids. So I think the mainstream was who WA would try to appeal to and that meant mildly funny, safe, and a broad audience of temporary attention from fans of him and/or the artist he's covering, rather than comedy fans and a lifetime of reverence to them. He chose to make a lot of money.

  • @variaxi935
    @variaxi935 2 місяці тому +20

    bruh the backwards hat looks better on him than I expected

  • @rpNerd
    @rpNerd 2 місяці тому +6

    So happy the "I don't understand" clip is back in this episode. I quote that clip because of this show, and I was at work singing it earlier XD

  • @GraveyardRomance
    @GraveyardRomance 2 місяці тому +14

    I wish I had been selected as juror for a murder trial they were selecting for because I reeeeeally wanted to hear the defense.

  • @Scheffie3
    @Scheffie3 2 місяці тому +11

    WTF!!! The hook for this video is a cliff hanger for another video!!!!! That is both genius and evil!

  • @gaylegoodman9097
    @gaylegoodman9097 2 місяці тому +2

    Robert Blake got his start in the movie series “The Little Rascals” also known as “Our Gang”, which followed the adventures of a group of children and was made from 1939-1944. There was a modern version created in 2014.

  • @thegreatgambeeno
    @thegreatgambeeno 2 місяці тому +25

    The fact that Beretta didn't use a Beretta is to me a most missed opportunity for a great joke.

  • @JdeeGeekyGao
    @JdeeGeekyGao 2 місяці тому +8

    omg I need a pt 2 written by Kevin, those defences I need to know.

  • @80rae
    @80rae 2 місяці тому +4

    As for your question about stealing a case of beer...put it in your shopping cart & walk out. Unless the store has an asset protection person that's "allowed" to put hands on the person, they'll just let them walk out.

  • @taylorslade961
    @taylorslade961 2 місяці тому +6

    Props to whoever edited this for using one of my fave Metalocalypse scenes
    "I woke up with a clowns hands...in my pants. That's how my day started."

  • @matthewwelch2731
    @matthewwelch2731 2 місяці тому +7

    The Team 4 Star and Dethklok references have me rolling 😂

  • @MercedesLefrancois
    @MercedesLefrancois 2 місяці тому +16

    Simon's beard is getting huge lol

  • @CodenameRockerika
    @CodenameRockerika 2 місяці тому +12

    The difference in attitude on drunk driving between the US and Europe is wild, but there are definitely practical reasons. In the majority of the US, there is virtually nothing in terms of reliable and safe late night public transit or taxi service, meaning at the end of the night your options are all bad or nonexistent. Combine that with our general macho car and drinking cultures and it is a recipe for both drunk driving and a system sympathetic to it. This makes what happened in the case Simon discussed even more wild, because these kids literally just chose to drink then drive, it wasn't even a matter of getting home at the end of a night like in most cases here.

  • @gazbags9136
    @gazbags9136 2 місяці тому +11

    Knob and bellend, fantastic words!! 😂😂

  • @jaysalisbury193
    @jaysalisbury193 2 місяці тому +3

    "Please do that, dont be weird." Great advice for many in my generation.

    • @charliericker274
      @charliericker274 2 місяці тому

      You can be as weird as you want just don't be disrespectful and the s******* to other people, if you want to be weird among yourself and your friends and who cares man.

  • @Jason-fm4my
    @Jason-fm4my 2 місяці тому +31

    The Sokolov defense from Casual Criminalist is the one that blew my mind.

  • @amandajones661
    @amandajones661 2 місяці тому +4

    A literal LTC in the US Army left his dang pistol on a public bus and it fell between the seat back and the actual seat. A few hours later, he finally remembered where he left it and it was still there (even though many people had ridden that bus). So, it can happen. --- to complete this story, no. He didn't get in trouble because, just like the rich, rank has privilege.

  • @QueerJade
    @QueerJade 2 місяці тому +12

    The gay panic defence is outrageous I've heard it's been used when the perpetrator only found out the victim was gay after. So glad I don't live in the USA

    • @annabe21
      @annabe21 2 місяці тому

      I should imagine this defence has been used successfully by many homophobe. I know murder is murder and none of these people deserved to be killed, but somehow I don't think a defence used by people who committed other kinds of hate crime would be treated as a source of humour. 🙁

    • @KS-PNW
      @KS-PNW Місяць тому

      It's no longer allowed in the vast majority of states for what that's worth..

  • @richardjudd1085
    @richardjudd1085 2 місяці тому +5

    Yup, just got my vessis. Probably the best things ive ever put on my feet. I got the jacket too and that thing is amazing too

  • @davidaward82
    @davidaward82 2 місяці тому +3

    the affluenza case always reminds me of the 'he's got a promising future and if he gets this on his record it will ruin his future' defence used for a different affluent male college student... during a R-word case...
    Fucking useless justice system.

  • @SomeNerdSomewhere
    @SomeNerdSomewhere 2 місяці тому +1

    The Adult Swim cutaways in this episode were fantastic. Kudos to the editor.

  • @maxbrundle1599
    @maxbrundle1599 2 місяці тому +9

    For Simons benefit you steal a create of beer the same way you buy one... You just skip the going to the till bit and walk or run out with it depending on if security has spotted you or not. Sometimes its so easy to steal when people think you are being so blatant you must be a law abiding citizen. Slash claimed to have shoplifted a full size inflatable rib boat by just lifting it off the wall and walking off with it. He said he didn't need a boat he just liked to challenge himself to take bigger and more impressive things. Think he said he stole his famous hat😂 apparently he had a shoplifting addition

    • @THE-X-Force
      @THE-X-Force 2 місяці тому +1

      Yep. This restaurant had an electric guitar hanging on a wall as a decoration and some guy just took it off and walked out. Everyone was like: _"How does no one notice a guy stealing a guitar like that?!"_ .. But the truth is no one batted an eye.

    • @maxbracegirdle9990
      @maxbracegirdle9990 2 місяці тому +1

      Woah dude, our names are crazy similar..

    • @maxbrundle1599
      @maxbrundle1599 2 місяці тому

      @@maxbracegirdle9990 it's a fine name 😁 well I think so

  • @aveleziii
    @aveleziii 2 місяці тому +6

    quality editing by Julian. Dr rockso was perfect

  • @hydrobud89
    @hydrobud89 2 місяці тому +4

    That first kid, his parents or somebody definitely paid somebody off.
    The prosecutor or the judge probably

  • @Alex_zer0_Shoveller
    @Alex_zer0_Shoveller 2 місяці тому +7

    the gay panic is so crazy bc imagine the death toll if every woman being hit on when she didn't want it just straight up killed the guy 💀

  • @dj_genrefluid
    @dj_genrefluid 2 місяці тому +10

    I love the fact that the editor found Venture Bros.

  • @otis8888
    @otis8888 2 місяці тому +1

    The last entry on here had me laughing so hard. Simon's delivery, the writing, and editing just hit peak during that entry.

  • @Lord-of-Misrule
    @Lord-of-Misrule 2 місяці тому +10

    You just walk out with the case of beer, supermarket workers dont get payed to fight crime.

    • @maxbrundle1599
      @maxbrundle1599 2 місяці тому

      Don't forget the can of free dog food with every stolen create 😂

    • @calebbean1384
      @calebbean1384 2 місяці тому

      The cops they sometimes have there do

    • @captainspaulding5963
      @captainspaulding5963 2 місяці тому +3

      Not only do normal employees not get paid to stop you, if any of them actually paid any attention to training videos, they aren't supposed to do anything at all to stop you. They can actually be charged if they do.

  • @JenSalvatore21
    @JenSalvatore21 2 місяці тому +3

    I’ve never understood the affluenza defense in the Couch case - truly wealthy people in America have no clue where a Walmart is and would not have to steal beer, underage or otherwise. His parents just suck.

  • @amdza
    @amdza 2 місяці тому +6

    I remember the affluenza case when it happened. I was so pissed he didn't get jail time. Nice to know his crippling case of "too much money, too little sense" eventually got him in prison.

    • @KS-PNW
      @KS-PNW Місяць тому

      County jail time actually

  • @Gloocar
    @Gloocar 2 місяці тому +2

    Who ever worked on the edits for this video did amazing, I haven't laughed so hard at one of your videos in a while (I'm typically watching the dark ones which are not typically funny)

  • @jameslink8
    @jameslink8 2 місяці тому +3

    Just say aww thank you! Like Peter Griffin when him & the guys got arrested, then he said "yeah they're gonna be really bummed when they find out I'm not gay" 😂

  • @Faymysticreations
    @Faymysticreations 2 місяці тому +5

    Here is an idea top 5 deadly foods that look like a natural death at autopsy. inky cap mushrooms anyone?

  • @bazzer124
    @bazzer124 2 місяці тому +5

    Being too rich for jail is like being too smart for Cambridge. Apparently in law stupidity is not a handicap. Cheers....

  • @mjaomjao2
    @mjaomjao2 2 місяці тому +6

    10:15 sounds like the the therapy rehab worked, he finally learned what consequences are.

  • @mrmuttley
    @mrmuttley 2 місяці тому +1

    Not forgetting the Shaggy Defense as used by R Kelly. "It wasn't me" despite the video tape showing someone really similar looking to you committing those crimes.

  • @chrisrelhard
    @chrisrelhard 2 місяці тому +15

    should be noted, the gay panic defense is also grouped together with the trans panic defense, sometimes even used interchangeably. essentially, the idea is that being surprised by lgbt people is at least partial justification for murder or assault. you can see how this already morally questionable defense is further exploited by people being surprised by OTHER people finding out they're involved with an lgbt person and just saying they didn't know before. a concerning number of murders of trans women in particular have been reduced to a lesser offense or even acquitted because it was revealed that the man was sleeping with a trans woman.

    • @ALLMINDmercenarysupportsystem
      @ALLMINDmercenarysupportsystem 2 місяці тому +5

      Who the hell goes into such panic in those situations that they murder someone? I suppose I could understand being a bit upset or embarrassed if you didn't know they were tans/gay/whatever before getting started, but murder?

    • @calebbean1384
      @calebbean1384 2 місяці тому +5

      ​@@ALLMINDmercenarysupportsystem if anything it shows they have very poor self control and they need a higher sentence as well as anger management

    • @ALLMINDmercenarysupportsystem
      @ALLMINDmercenarysupportsystem 2 місяці тому +2

      @@calebbean1384 I agree.

  • @epowell4211
    @epowell4211 2 місяці тому +3

    The "affluenza" defense is total BS: you cannot get an education in the US or even be exposed to any media without learning that some things are bad and most people suffer consequences.
    Alcohol tolerance varies person to person, and even in the same person it can vary due to any number of factors, so any time you take a drink, you have to realize that you may be impaired and driving is like Russian Roulette. Just because you may do it hundreds of times with no consequence, what happens the one time there is an issue is not worth it.

  • @FireMageLayn
    @FireMageLayn 2 місяці тому +5

    Surprised Brock Turner didn't make the list. His defense was basically "yeah he did it but it shouldn't be considered a crime"

    • @MosoKaiser
      @MosoKaiser 2 місяці тому

      You mean Brock Turner the rapist? The Brock Turner widely known for raping people?

    • @ambrabridges2161
      @ambrabridges2161 2 місяці тому +1

      And the judge said Turner was a good kid who shouldn't have his life ruined for making a mistake.

    • @MosoKaiser
      @MosoKaiser 2 місяці тому +1

      Huh, apparently the dreaded R-word is off-limits for comments as well? Not seeing my comment anymore about Brock Turner the struggle snuggler who struggle snuggles people...

    • @esmeraldagreengate4354
      @esmeraldagreengate4354 2 місяці тому

      ​@@MosoKaiserI was wondering why nobody had commented with his proper name.

  • @msvixen1981
    @msvixen1981 2 місяці тому +2

    As a #TexasGal I absolutely love how Simon gets so yee-haw happy. 😂

  • @person35790
    @person35790 2 місяці тому +11

    I can tell what year it is by Simon’s beard.

  • @MisterKnightly
    @MisterKnightly 2 місяці тому +2

    "Are you shitting my pants?" - Simon

  • @Lurchrip91
    @Lurchrip91 2 місяці тому +2

    I would love to see this episode with just trumps idiotic defenses

  • @carguybikeguy
    @carguybikeguy 2 місяці тому +4

    14:10 This one is so stupid. I was 18 in Rehoboth Beach, at the time, with a cHuRcH group. I was hanging with a few friends & in the middle of a crosswalk, a guy passing the opposite direction ran his hand down my shoulder, arm, & stopped just before my ass as he walked . You don’t see me going crazy on every gay person I meet. I will never understand behavior like this. Defending it is wrong too.

    • @jaysalisbury193
      @jaysalisbury193 2 місяці тому

      I usually only go through my own gay panics after we've slept together and they're still here when my wife's car pulls into the drive

  • @docmccrimmon4489
    @docmccrimmon4489 2 місяці тому +1

    I actually did find a gun at work. I work retail and someone forgot their gun in a fitting room. I called my manager (who freaked out, but I didn’t understand why). I took it back to the safe and proceeded to call 911. I calmly told them the store I worked at, the gun I found, and that I hadn’t touched it bare handed (I wore two layers of gloves and initially picked it up with a pen). They sent an officer who took down my statement and my identification information.
    Just as the officer was coming back with a case for it (as not to freak people out by them seeing an unholstered gun in a crowded store), the owner came and he and the officer left. Presumably to take care of it outside. I dunno what happened after that. But yeah. I did find a gun in a fitting room at work before.

  • @zwerko
    @zwerko 2 місяці тому +5

    Wooo, I was just wondering what to watch now when I watched all of UA-cam and new Blaze pops up! Off to procrastinate further...

  • @nightal78
    @nightal78 2 місяці тому +3

    Bring back epic blaze!!!

  • @gavynmarrey2420
    @gavynmarrey2420 2 місяці тому +1

    “Are you shitting my pants” hahaha 🤣

  • @BattIeBear
    @BattIeBear 2 місяці тому +1

    Simon, I am sitting here with wet shoes and soggy socks. Finally, for the first time in my life, I will give in to a UA-cam sponsorship ad and am going to buy Vessis (and yes I used your code!)

  • @Ozz465
    @Ozz465 2 місяці тому

    The enthusiam in the opening got my like . well done .
    Also the Perjury Advice

  • @wadetisthammer3612
    @wadetisthammer3612 2 місяці тому +1

    12:50 to 12:59 - Favorite line of the video. 😁
    13:09 to 13:46 - Honorable mention. 😊

  • @Hillbilly001
    @Hillbilly001 2 місяці тому +4

    Tangent time!!! Let's go Laser Eyes. Cheers from Tennessee

    • @goosenotmaverick1156
      @goosenotmaverick1156 2 місяці тому +1

      East, West or Middle? Lol
      That's about all I know about Tennessee lol
      sincerely your western neighbor

    • @Hillbilly001
      @Hillbilly001 2 місяці тому

      @@goosenotmaverick1156 West Tennessee. Western neighbor? Missouri or Arkansas?

  • @LiminalMan777
    @LiminalMan777 2 місяці тому

    The last minute of this absolutely killed me, fantastic editing.

  • @johnruhd5917
    @johnruhd5917 2 місяці тому +1

    13:11 Mind Twist

  • @lruddy8820
    @lruddy8820 2 місяці тому +1

    i like how the coins are still on the desk

  • @JonEffinZoidberg
    @JonEffinZoidberg 2 місяці тому +15

    You do realize that California is fucking huge right? I live in california and people often ask me... are you gonna go to LA for "whatever show is going on???". ANd I'm like yeah... let me drive fucking 10 hours down I-5 one direction to get to LA.
    I live in the center of california (as related to the coast) and I'm still 4 hours away. California is fucking huge dude... People in Europe think we're weird for not visiting other countries, but we have to travel crazy far to get to another country and the closest are Mexico or Canada. In the same amount of time you drive to another country we're barely a few towns over. I can literally drive for 14 hours straight at 70MPH (115 KMH) for 14 hours and never leave California. You all just don't fucking understand how big our state is. FOr us, visiting a different state is the equivalent to you visiting a different country.

    • @calebbean1384
      @calebbean1384 2 місяці тому +5

      True. I've been farther from where I was born than many Europeans and never left the country.

    • @dragonsdynamite6403
      @dragonsdynamite6403 2 місяці тому +2

      There’s a thing called airplane for visiting other countries.

    • @danielnix5682
      @danielnix5682 2 місяці тому +1

      ​@@dragonsdynamite6403Airplane tickets to another country are outrageously expensive. The only times I've flown overseas, Uncle Sam paid for it.

  • @gordonbrinkmann
    @gordonbrinkmann 2 місяці тому +2

    "How do you steal a case of beer?" Well, maybe a supermarket has a special offer and they have cases of beer stacked on display outside the store. And those cardboard boxes have convenient handles built in. And now some teenager comes along with his bicycle, grabs a case and rides off on his bike. Of course this never happened, I did not do anything like this nor did anybody I know ever do this.

  • @mitchellbriscoe4328
    @mitchellbriscoe4328 2 місяці тому

    Vessi. Also great in autumn for those of us in the southern hemisphere. Love my pair

  • @jesst235
    @jesst235 2 місяці тому +1

    I can't believe Simon doesn't know about The Jerry Springer Show!

  • @vickielawson3114
    @vickielawson3114 Місяць тому +1

    6:18 - Valium can be detected in the system for a month after use.

  • @22ARJ
    @22ARJ 2 місяці тому +1

    Worked in Spar shop whilst I was going to college in my teens. People used to nick crates of beer all time when I was on shift. Think I had a bit of a reputation around town as the guy who never bothered to chase shop lifters 😂😂

  • @twocvbloke
    @twocvbloke 2 місяці тому +2

    That affluenza defence was a joke, sure the guy was stupide through his upbringing, but laws exist and he is living under them regardless of being aware of them, I'm sure there's plenty laws people break every day without knowing, but if pressed, the charges would stick in most countries... :\

  • @Dwm273
    @Dwm273 2 місяці тому +3

    $50 for a speeding ticket? That’s uber cheap!

    • @themoviedealers
      @themoviedealers 2 місяці тому

      That's what I paid 40 years ago!

    • @AvB.83
      @AvB.83 2 місяці тому

      Depends on how quick you were going, at least in Germany you do get away with about $20 if you're less than 10 kph/6 mph over the limit and 50 if it's less than 15 kph (slightly more when you're within city limits). It does go up to several hundreds and a revoked licence quite quickly. Though I'd prefer the scandinavian way where they charge you a percentage of your yearly earnings.

  • @olipritchard8151
    @olipritchard8151 2 місяці тому +1

    Dr Rockso is sooo fitting 😂

  • @MsCherryKiss
    @MsCherryKiss 2 місяці тому +1

    1:41 Seems the editor doesn't know what the Chewbacca defense is either, or he'd have put in an appropriate clip from South Park there. The coke can (which sounded like Chewbacca was interesting though!

  • @capnstewy55
    @capnstewy55 2 місяці тому +2

    How is 20 years the max penalty? So that is killing 4 people, stealing, and drunk driving averaging less than 4 years per crime.

    • @KS-PNW
      @KS-PNW Місяць тому

      Vehicular manslaughter has traditionally been treated as a lesser offense

  • @ryanroberts1104
    @ryanroberts1104 2 місяці тому +1

    How to steal a case of beer in the US: Put it in a cart. Walk out the door like you own the place. Done. And no, I'm not exaggerating. If you're going through all the trouble you might as well fill the cart...

  • @jasongleave355
    @jasongleave355 2 місяці тому

    I recon Simon should go on uncensored, be a great laugh

  • @MrAwesomeone
    @MrAwesomeone 2 місяці тому +3

    If I'm not mistaken the Twinkie defense WAS for murder

    • @annabe21
      @annabe21 2 місяці тому +1

      Sort of, but not really. Dan White's lawyers were not arguing "the twinkie defence", it was misreporting from the trial which led to the coining of the term. They didn't argue that eating twinkies (and other junk food) was a reason why he murdered two people, just that the change from being someone who was previously very health conscience to someone who ate a lot of junk food was evidence of a change in his mental state.

    • @MrAwesomeone
      @MrAwesomeone 2 місяці тому +1

      @@annabe21 still a pretty shit argument but definitely less ridiculous

  • @bithplease1779
    @bithplease1779 2 місяці тому

    0:47 Always get a GOOD lawyer.

  • @Foxiz
    @Foxiz 2 місяці тому +1

    On shoplifting beer; I'm actually a little more impressed by a friend who shoplifted vinyl records (33rpm) in his youth.
    When he told me these legendary past mischiefs I just couldn't see how this was possible to do stealthly 😅

  • @xandytee1041
    @xandytee1041 2 місяці тому +1

    Already many comments about this I'm sure! But a rich kid getting off because he's rich? What happens if a really poor kid kills some people by accidentally knocking over their barbecue just to get a burger to prevent starvation, house catches fire and their hamster is killed? I'm pretty sure the hungry kid would be looking at a double digit sentence! If true, this is sickening!

    • @KS-PNW
      @KS-PNW Місяць тому

      There actually was another case at the same time, same judge. Poor kid (both parents in prison, older brother had just been killed etc etc) broke into someone's garage with a friend to steal beer. Homeowner shoots the friend. The poor kid got 20 years under the felony murder rule.

  • @jmanj3917
    @jmanj3917 2 місяці тому

    13:13 Exactly, Brain Boy.

  • @nain-desintje-de1188
    @nain-desintje-de1188 2 місяці тому +1

    Love your very videos. Bright spot of the day.

  • @NotoriousWar
    @NotoriousWar 2 місяці тому +1

    A car is classes as a deadly weapon in British courts, the reasoning being, it's heavy, it's capable of gaining great speed & therefore a lot of kinetic energy, and you specifically need to train and pass more than one test to be licensed to drive(which already tells everyone that the law and authorities acknowledge the very real potential & possibility for causing chaos & harm).
    As far as I can tell[though I've done all of Zero research], the with a deadly weapon but is added if British authorities decide that the resulting situation was caused by gross negligence, or results from decisions the perpetrator knowingly made, and events that were clearly dangerous & likely to cause harm.
    And let's face facts, every single vehicle has the potential & ability to become a deadly weapon in the blink of an eye if a driver is impaired or distracted, even for just a moment.

  • @filmandfirearms
    @filmandfirearms 2 місяці тому

    P38s were fucking everywhere in the US after WW2. Tons of local gun stores will have P38s for sale even today, and tons of GIs brought them back home as trophies after the war. Not to mention that they remained in production until the 1980s with the P1, so getting ahold of a P38 is stupidly easy. I have a Manurhin P1, which is a license built French copy of the Walther P1, and I got it for $600

  • @R_SENAL
    @R_SENAL 2 місяці тому +1

    Ok at 13:14 that card, one of the "hand"s says "hard" 🤣 and I'm just picturing Skelator now saying the jokes on you!!

  • @ahulaga8466
    @ahulaga8466 2 місяці тому

    Bring on part 2!!