Story 1. Hell No. That teacher got what he deserved. Nice one for dishing out some karma on him. Sooner or later the truth would have come out. You can't hide a dirty secret like that forever.
10:22 This is a classic Wife trap situation. It's when a man goes around trying to trap a woman as his wife By taking away all independence From her so that was she's forced to depend on him and she has no way to escape.
And the fact he sounds like a Jesus freak cultist stereotype, any kids they have will say 🎶🎵”Keep your ri-fle, byyyyy yooouur siiiiide!” for their first words. 😉
That’s what happened to my mum. Worst part is that my dad is denying even though there were witnesses. I’m trying to help her get her independence back and it’s slowly working but it’s a tough road.
The stepson in the sixth story has a very strong case of Disneyland Dad, especially because he’s seven years old. Most seven year old boys worship their fathers and want to be with them and be like them. He’s not going to be aware of his father’s faults until he’s older and has a broader understanding of the situation.
The number of stories out there where one parent would cheat/abuse the other parent in all manner of ways, then they get divorced and the abuser/cheater becomes an "every other weekend" sort of parent who spends most of their time with their kid insulting and dragging down the ex, and the rest of their weekends with their kid leaving the kid with the parents family who also insults and/or lies about the ex. Meanwhile, the primary caregiver parent stays completely silent and refuses to answer any of the child's questions or address any unhealthy coping behaviour the kid picks up, because they think that's what's best for the kid. Which, from the outside, we can all see is utterly asinine in so many ways. Staying silent while the other parent paints the narrative in any way they damn well like is ridiculous and can potentially damage your child's emotional and mental health, not to mention their familial bonds. Instead, OP and his wife should speak with a psychologist who works with kids (who has had the opportunity to speak with the seven year old), and ask what age-appropriate strategies they can use for the step-dad to try to bond with the kid, and if/when its okay to be honest about what really happened in the relationship, and how best to go about it. The kid doesn't need to know all the details, and a specialist in the field may be able to assist so they can approach it in a healthy and respectful way.
@@YourShadowKeeper Exactly. They need a third party to mediate that isn’t overly biased on one side (while OP seems to mean well, he does seem to forget the kid is only seven) and a child therapist would fit the bill.
First story: How would moving another student be unfair to them more than a student who is being bullied? And why is it even necessary? Sure, a class has a certain capacity, but is it really that bad if it is only one single student over capacity?
4th story: Getting drunk doesn't excuse what you say. Drinking lowers inhibitions and you show your TRUE self. If your mother said those things to her face, THAT"S HOW SHE REALLY FEELS ABOUT HER. I don't know if it's because no one is good enough for "Her little boy" or what, but it seems to me that she doesn't think that your fiancé is good enough, and evidently, no one else is in your family does either. I hate to say to cut ties with your family completely, but going low contact is definitely called for. 5th story: This guy is definitely in a cult. if not a cult, then an EXTREMELY repressive religion
Not necessarily your true self. Shows who you are with lower inhibitions. I would argue your inhababitions are part of who you are. Not that being drunk is an excuse for bad behavior.
So you're mother violently insults your wife you rightfully chew her out and everyone's mad at you? I'd tell them I'm not inviting toxic people to my wedding and unless they get down on their knees and beg her for forgiveness they aren't even going to hear how the wedding went if they don't like it they don't have to come either.
my mom and dad would gotten their asses kicked. fuck just not inviting them. that was a disrespectful as you can get. even if it was true. so with it just being a baseless sligthly incestuous possessive behavior then violence is the only answer
"it shouldn't matter to OP if her sister and her husband want to call themselves husband and wife" While this is true, by that same logic it shouldn't matter to OP's sister and husband whether or not OP wants to refer to them as husband and wife.
They are technically in a de facto marriage, also once known as a common law marriage. "Common-law marriage is a legal framework where a couple may be considered married without having formally registered their relation as a civil or religious marriage. In effect, the act of the couple representing themselves to others as being married and organizing their relation as if they were married, means they are married." Why does OP need a piece of paper from the government or church to decide whether they are husband and wife or not?
@@dutchvanderbilt9969 Because she doesn't get to define their relationship for them. It's their choice whether or not to get officially married, and it's their choice what they want to be called. The OP is making it about her by refusing to acknowledge their wishes.
Last story, totally not the ahole. My mother was exactly the same constantly crticising me about my weight while shoving food at me and being offended if I didn't eat it. I also developed an eating disorder. You did the right thing by telling her to stop and I hope you carry through if she doesn't for the sake of your son. It took me years of therapy to finally be free of it. Good luck.❤
So Story #5 --- that Mom is a life-saver & rockstar. I truly hope that the daughter has the capacity & ability to look back in 10 years and appreciate that her mother's actions saved her from an unfulfilled life of servitude and perpetual pregnancies --- just have her watch the video of Steven Crowder berating his very pregnant wife because she doesn't submit to his every whim.
@@Icy_Polish_ItalianI don’t see where OP mentioned being a Christian is bad. He just said that the mom saved her daughter from an unfulfilled life of servitude and perpetual pregnancies. I personally don’t care for religion, but if someone wants to worship in their own way (or not worship), that’s okay by me, as long as they aren’t hurting anyone or forcing their beliefs (or non beliefs) onto anyone.
Story 4: Yeah, OP should go NC HARD AND FAST! These are not people you want to be around, let alone want your significant other to be around. If what they said was when they were drunk, imagine what they would say behind your back or in your face. I also find it interesting that the NC sister is throwing shade at OP for burning bridges with their mom and her family, but i guess since shes said NC, shes not too worried about being in the crossfire. Or this could be the "Keep the peace" kicking in. For better or for worse, OP and Maya should keep the mom and aunts uninvited. If people don't come, oh well. And as for Dad, yeah, he has no spine evidently, so he's already miserable
There is no excuse for a teacher to bully a student at all, it takes a special kind of piece of crap for a grown-assed adult to abuse their power over someone younger/smaller than them. NTA.
Story 2 This is how life is nowadays sadly. People acting all entitled and not paying attention to what is around them, like an 8 MONTH PREGNANT WOMAN. They expect everything to be done cause they think the world owes them.
OP should have asked the Karen who she worked for too, so she could complain to them about how this entitled worker of theirs harassed an 8 moth pregnant woman because she wouldn't carry a 30 lb bag of dog food.
@@11rahimis1234 Why not? The chance that the woman would tell OP where she worked, let alone her workplace will write her up for something she did in her own personal time, is pretty small. It's just giving her a small taste of her own medicine.
10:23 This story gives me control freak vibes, and the daughter is too blinded by love and/or money to see it. The OP and her ex want what's best for their daughter and the boyfriend (probably now ex-boyfriend) was try to control the daughter especially after only knowing her for a little while. Op is not the jerk!
Regarding the marriage one, I've never heard someone who use religion as their only qualifier for being a good person be a good one, the dude sounds like he's part of a cult
Story 6: stepson should go and live with his dad or limited access where he doesn't get every other weekend buy instead random weekdays only so he can't go on all these trips to brag about. Or you will need to do similiar and take quality time bonding with him doing exciting stuff to outdo his dad
Story 3, If they have been together that long, a piece of paper now could save them an awful lot trouble later. They would need iron clad wills and iron clad power of attorneys for each other, in case of medical need or death. Story 4 - people are more likely to say their truefeelings when they are drunk. It is up to you who you invite to the wedding. Have the wedding in Norway, the expense should stop most of your family attending. Story 5- yep, sketchy. She will thank you in a few years. Hopefully the boyfriend will bugger off, if she does go ahead with it, find the number for the local 'snatch my kid back' service.
Story 3: she's jealous of her sister's secure 15 years relationship. Story 4: OP did nothing wrong and it seems like his mum pulls similar stuns like this over the years and OPs dad sounds like a weak man child that needs his wife's approval to just breathe.
Fifteen years? If they've lived together all or most of that time then that's considered a common law marriage in many countries. They may not have signed the legal papers, but they've done all the far more important stuff. OP sounds so incredibly bitter and pathetic. Marriage isn't for everyone!
Seriously I've been with my gf for 6 years and we have a daughter but have no interest in marriage. It holds zero value as neither of us are religious,have a big family, and don't see how some paperwork legitimizes is more than having a kid together
@@YourShadowKeeper Whats bitter and pathetic is the OP`s sister to expect that everyone is gonna play in their games. If they belive they don`t need to "sign a paper" as they like to call it, that`s fine. But they should not be demanding everone to fall into their narrative. And calling the OP by the mother as "unsuportive" is pure manipulation. If we agree that OP`s sister has rghit to believe what she bielieves in, then the OP has a right to not agree with her and have her own believes. Other way is just a hypocrisy. I seriously do not understatnd this NEED to have the same things that others have without any effort to get it.
@@poohbear_loves_Tiggerit doesn’t but the thing is this. Because it is a thing, in general, means that the idea of “marriage being more then a piece of paper” is not valid as common law does not even require a piece of paper from a courthouse. So yeah while OP can ignore the wishes of the sister they cannot do so without getting grief.
About the husband and wife thing, They can call themselves whatever they want, but dont expect others to do so, it is their decision, not everyone else's
Story 3: My paternal grandmother had this exact same situation, and for the OP, I think the best solution to her problem is just to say that they are married at heart, just not on paper. That is, while they don't have a marriage certificate, they still feel married and want to spend the rest of their lives together.
That marriage one I agree with. If you’re not married but want to call your partner husband/wife that’s fine but don’t expect me to do it also. Until it’s legit you’re just in a relationship. She’s not a jerk for not wanting to lie.
I remember when I was pregnant with my 3rd child. I worked at a poultry ranch, recently had a work injury of where I slipped and fell on my spinal cord, and had lift/carry a 5 gallon bucket of wash water around for 11hrs. 5 gallons is 42lbs.
15 yrs ago, my son's dad would refer to me as his old lady and I called him my old man. I was 23f at the time and he was 25m. No one ever said anything about it.
For story number 4, the op is DEFINITELY not the jerk. How are people in his family siding with the mother? The op's mother, who called his *fiance*, soon to be wife, two of the *WORST* things you can call a woman in front of the whole family! When this was the fiancees first time meeting 90% of the family! Cause now, from those simple words, most of the family is gonna probably think the fiancee is what the mother said, since the mother didn't show any fear or remorse saying those things. Even going as far as *Laughing* at the fiancee crying and leaving after the toast! That is so messed up on so many levels, its not even funny-
Story 3 it’s legit just a label, chill. People change their names, despite papers, people change their gender, people do so many things that “aren’t traditional”
Maybe he's just a little too young to let him know how his dad exactly is but as mentioned they always find out on their own when whatever non-custodial parents is a creep. You're the adult try to be extra understanding and maybe your wife needs to have a discussion with him about how no matter what he thinks of you he owes you a modicum of respect being another adult in the house. I mean how would he feel if every time he did something you pointed out of how your son Does it Better
Fourth story: what your mom said was out of line even if she was drunk that just reveals she hates your fiancée because being drunk only loosens a person’s inhibitions
"I feel this, I feel that" guess what? You're feelings don't matter when it comes to other people's relationships The 7 yr old kid reminds me of my stepsister. Her mom had 5 different kids from 5 different fathers but she always hated my mom even though she'd spoil her cause she idolized her mom and hoped my dad would get back with her. Yea right lmao 😂
I got bullied by three kids in third grade witch dident end that long ago I’m going into fourth grade now but these kids did it so much they made fun of me, they would trip me and push me, and they would call me names ALOT and then I told my parents so the next day me and two of them went to the principals office then they said I would call them names but I would do it because they did, and after that they dident stop, and I asked one of them why they hated me and he said because just no awnser except for because, almost two months before school ended one of them grabbed my shoulders from behind and kicked my legs so I would fall and I went back inside witch this was at recess and I cryed a lot and then one of the lunch people saw me and talked to me and I told him everything then it stop and they tried to be my friend but I dident want to giving that they bullied me for two years and almost got in trouble for that and I was mad about that. (This also happened on the bus)
4th story: bruh, how are they calling him unreasonable when they HEARD WHAT THE MOTHER CALLED MAYA?! Not to mention the aunts and the mother snickering! Invite other friends and family on Maya's side but I would stand my ground firmly. I would try to find a way to get the dad there and not the mom because that was totally out of line to say to Maya. Who essentially (as far as we know) did nothing to her son!
Your response to Original Poster #3 was spot on! In my opinion, any couple, after 10 years can declare themselves married! The O.P. sounds like religious or conservative nut job that believes in "traditional marriage", whatever that is!
Story 2: Depending on where they are they could be married already. Common Law marriage. So ya they don't need to "formalize" if they've been together for so long that for all purposes they are married by common law.
Story 3: After 10 years of living together as partners is considered a common-law marriage, at least here in Australia, which means that they are married in the eyes of the government
I don't know about story three. I've heard a lot of stories from the LGBT+ community about how not having that "little piece of paper" meant they couldn't see their significant other in the hospital, while their homophobic family that had previously disowned them gets to waltz right in, no questions asked. But it is also their relationship, and calling each other husband/wife isn't hurting anyone. I'm gonna go with my default "If they're not hurting anyone, than whatever." But maybe they should make it official, just in case.
That's a thing in around 16 American states (only 8 of those being 100% on board with that). And the 7 years things, from what I've read, is just a legal myth. There is no time requirement in common law marriage. The question now is "Where do they live?".
Honestly, marriage is overrated anymore. Just because you aren't "married under the law" doesn't mean you can't consider yourselves life partners. Honestly, that marriage certificate just binds your assets. Marriage is a mutual commitment to another person. Honestly, you shouldn't need a piece of paper to confirm that.
3 story not the jerk, call your partners, what you want but I’m good, ps my cousin parents be together for like 20 plus years, and I never call him uncle and no one in my family call him her husband and her his wife. I think saying this my sister partner is a nice meeting group.
See but in your situation it seems that the cousin’s parents do not care about the title that others go around which is fine. However, in story 3’s case the sis and bf do care and are asking the sister to respect the relationship by using the husband and wife titles. The duo has put in the work to maintain a relationship that is longer then what some relationships, even married ones, last. So what is the issue? After all, common law marriage exists. Unless they disagree with this idea, there is not an issue with simply following the request.
Story 3 it depends on the circumstances too. I know someone who is like that as well, and she is a high school friend of my mom who got a boyfriend but they live separated and get together sometimes. THEY ARE 50 YEARS OLD. This is a situation of "mind your own business in both cases" because OP and the sister aren't neither right or wrong in this situation, and again depending on the context. Of course that said, OP should not had to see it like that but can get along with it just for the sake of not been a jerk too. BUT under the same breath neither the sister nor the mom has rights to tell OP that if that piece of paper isn't it too. Its an ESH situation more than anything else. For example, we call like that with my gf despite we know for roughly 4 MONTHS , because we hit off in everything and we want that because we feel like there is not other person in the world who can fill that role perfectly on each other. We support each other in our work even and also lightly scold to not put to much unnecessary effort over health too (like "remember to go to get a nice rest and not stay to much late working"). But if we want to move in together, we will had to do it FR (mainly because i want to flee from this shithole of a country and the job opportunities in my field are better in her country plus i will go even more pro than i'm already now). So at least our knowledge of law dictate we had to at least had a convivence of at least 1 month + to turn in the papers there, both for legality and for visa stuffs too for stay permanently. We of course want also that because we're tired for ceremonies and all that shit. We want something in secret instead and live our life, maybe travel for that as a ceremony instead (thou, we also wanted to do cosplay wedding because one of her side jobs is been a WoW Vtuber streamer, and I'm an illustrator. SO ... we will look to dress up as her favorite character in my case, and my favorite off-brand anime character on her case, because she looks like Roxanne Dessir from the eroge Kyonyuu Fantasy , but the OVA version. SHE is BIGGER than her even in the booba area ♥ ).
My mom and step dad arn not "official" but still think of each other as husband and wife. Even though they got "married" at Disney World under my sister reading the lines of a priest. So no you don't technically need paperwork to say yer married.
I was understanding of the stepdad insecurities until he pointed out the guy isnt a dad. just stay the course the kid is priority and your wife is 1000% in the wrong as well. just be the dad he needs and dont step on his dad in front of him, when he makes comments like that just respond with "well he's not here"
There's a thing called common law marriage .. in Pennsylvania, at least where im from. If a couple is together for more than seven years they are legally married in the states eye's
With the not wanting to be legally married but are basically married and calling themselves by wife and husband...I don't see that as weird. I have a friend who's parents were never legally married dispite having 2 kids with each other and being together for a long time. They didn't get legally married because they didn't want their stuff split between each other if they ever decided to split. They just wanted to own their own things.
The story about the unmarried couple that chose to call themselves husband and wife: Yes, you're the jerk. 100%. It's not your relationship and therefore, is none of your business. Get over yourself.
The third story. While yes the OP might be a bit of a jerk since it is their relationship and all I am strongly siding with OP's remarks about them making it official mainly cause of my job. The document(s) that says you are husband and wife can get very important in the far future when one of them becomes deceased, it will avoid some hassles.
Story 3: what does it matter if a marriage certificate is signed? That is a new thing in human history anyways. Humans have paired off for 100s of thousands of years without marriage certificates. The only reason a woman would be so d@mn insistent on a marriage certificate is if she wants your assets. Because she can't weaponize the family court to take everything you own if the marriage isn't legally recognized. If a woman actually loves you, she won't give two sh!ts about a marriage certificate.
STORY#3 It's a perogotive. Why would a piece of paper make the difference in how a couple considers they are? Husband and Wife is as good as Boyfriend's or Whatever. ❤️💙💚💛🧡
With the “husband and wife” story where they werent actually married, who cares theyve been together 15 years and he makes ops sister happy and they act like a married couple anyway only difference is if they have a falling out one doesnt get half of the others stuff. But at the end of the day not ur relationship not ur problem, and instead of saying husband/ partner, just use his name when u introduce him as this is (insert name)
Are you kidding me it makes about as much sense as making a victim apologize for what the criminal did what Dad said you should stand your ground and do not invite her to that wedding
It's amazing that the narrator and OP of the daughter story won't give approval. She doesn't want her daughter to live a religious life. That's not sketchy, y'all are sketchy for thinking that your way of life is the only way she should spend her life.
In defense of the sister in story #3 my grandparents have been "dating" for 45 years now. I fully agree that a piece of paper means nothing and as far as anyone in my family is concerned they are undeniably husband and wife.
I wonder why the same people who say marriage is just a "piece of paper" are the same people who are in support of the LGBT community getting that same "piece of paper" but will call it marriage. No diss just something I've noticed🤔
The one housing his bitch of a mother. How could he say that? Clearly none of them wanted to take her in. Op told her what he needed to. If you feel her avoidance of you is harming your home life, I would bring that up with her to.
Story 3: she is wrong and is the jerk. Common law marriage is exactly made for couples like this. A common law marriage is one in which the couple lives together for a period of time and holds themselves out to friends, family and the community as "being married," but without ever going through a formal ceremony or getting a marriage license. This gives them all the same legal rights and obligations to each other as a marriage certificate would, so yes they can call each other husband and wife. In fact it’s one of the reasons they qualify as a common law marriage. Plus of course the 15 years together.
Story 3: a marriage is not just a piece of paper. It is a vow you take before God and any witnesses if you want to have them invited. If it's just a piece of paper, then why do you have to use the term husband? If you really want to have that person be called your husband, the girl can simply say this is my sister and her common-law husband. She has every right not to use the term husband because it is reserved for an actual marriage, whether in front of a judge, minister, or an actual official. Saying vows to yourselves or promises is not the same thing. Yes you can be together forever, that's your business, but you cannot force someone to say something that they're technically right about just because you don't want to sign a "piece of paper."
Losing weight is never a bad idea. Don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to fat shame anybody, but too much weight is not a good thing and not a healthy thing and also when 💩 hits the fan you wanna be able to move the way the world is nowadays, but I do agree. Grandma was going too far but you had to put her in her place.
Story #6 The OP is a jerk in this one. He is the adult and should be understanding with the child talking about his father. It doesn't sound like the OP is trying to bond and understand why the young boy is talking about his dad so much. Children are just as much hurt by divorce as the parents are. He could be more understanding.
For the guy in the third story, I don’t think he was really being a jerk more like just pushing it further than it had to go. In my opinion, though you were right on the fact that he took it too far, and should respect their wishes, even if he doesn’t understand it once again just my opinion
Technically speaking, she doesn’t have to, but it would be very rude if they really want to call themselves that. Like, what would you say if they had a traditional marriage and the sister’s husband was call her boyfriend, that would be rude, especially since they want themselves to be considered, husband and wife. I understand OP is a bit confused about all this, but it is no reason to be rude about it.
While this is true. They also have the right to react the way they wish. They have put the leg work to maintain a relationship that only few couples, even married ones, achieve regarding duration. If OP does not wish to recognize them as husband and wife due to lacking a piece of paper, that is fine. But OP is then subject to any reactions that will come to ignoring the wishes of the sister. All in all, OP can either cosign the request or expect to get grief but she can’t ignore the request and expect no grief.
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Story 1. Hell No. That teacher got what he deserved. Nice one for dishing out some karma on him. Sooner or later the truth would have come out. You can't hide a dirty secret like that forever.
10:22
This is a classic Wife trap situation. It's when a man goes around trying to trap a woman as his wife By taking away all independence From her so that was she's forced to depend on him and she has no way to escape.
And the fact he sounds like a Jesus freak cultist stereotype, any kids they have will say 🎶🎵”Keep your ri-fle, byyyyy yooouur siiiiide!” for their first words. 😉
That’s what happened to my mum. Worst part is that my dad is denying even though there were witnesses. I’m trying to help her get her independence back and it’s slowly working but it’s a tough road.
The stepson in the sixth story has a very strong case of Disneyland Dad, especially because he’s seven years old. Most seven year old boys worship their fathers and want to be with them and be like them. He’s not going to be aware of his father’s faults until he’s older and has a broader understanding of the situation.
The number of stories out there where one parent would cheat/abuse the other parent in all manner of ways, then they get divorced and the abuser/cheater becomes an "every other weekend" sort of parent who spends most of their time with their kid insulting and dragging down the ex, and the rest of their weekends with their kid leaving the kid with the parents family who also insults and/or lies about the ex. Meanwhile, the primary caregiver parent stays completely silent and refuses to answer any of the child's questions or address any unhealthy coping behaviour the kid picks up, because they think that's what's best for the kid. Which, from the outside, we can all see is utterly asinine in so many ways. Staying silent while the other parent paints the narrative in any way they damn well like is ridiculous and can potentially damage your child's emotional and mental health, not to mention their familial bonds. Instead, OP and his wife should speak with a psychologist who works with kids (who has had the opportunity to speak with the seven year old), and ask what age-appropriate strategies they can use for the step-dad to try to bond with the kid, and if/when its okay to be honest about what really happened in the relationship, and how best to go about it. The kid doesn't need to know all the details, and a specialist in the field may be able to assist so they can approach it in a healthy and respectful way.
@@YourShadowKeeper Exactly. They need a third party to mediate that isn’t overly biased on one side (while OP seems to mean well, he does seem to forget the kid is only seven) and a child therapist would fit the bill.
First story: How would moving another student be unfair to them more than a student who is being bullied? And why is it even necessary? Sure, a class has a certain capacity, but is it really that bad if it is only one single student over capacity?
They were over capacity you dumb ass
4th story: Getting drunk doesn't excuse what you say. Drinking lowers inhibitions and you show your TRUE self. If your mother said those things to her face, THAT"S HOW SHE REALLY FEELS ABOUT HER.
I don't know if it's because no one is good enough for "Her little boy" or what, but it seems to me that she doesn't think that your fiancé is good enough, and evidently, no one else is in your family does either.
I hate to say to cut ties with your family completely, but going low contact is definitely called for.
5th story: This guy is definitely in a cult. if not a cult, then an EXTREMELY repressive religion
Not necessarily your true self. Shows who you are with lower inhibitions. I would argue your inhababitions are part of who you are.
Not that being drunk is an excuse for bad behavior.
So you're mother violently insults your wife you rightfully chew her out and everyone's mad at you? I'd tell them I'm not inviting toxic people to my wedding and unless they get down on their knees and beg her for forgiveness they aren't even going to hear how the wedding went if they don't like it they don't have to come either.
True
Ditto. There is no way you are getting a pass at that BS. They're ALL being uninvited from my life.
my mom and dad would gotten their asses kicked. fuck just not inviting them. that was a disrespectful as you can get. even if it was true. so with it just being a baseless sligthly incestuous possessive behavior then violence is the only answer
"it shouldn't matter to OP if her sister and her husband want to call themselves husband and wife"
While this is true, by that same logic it shouldn't matter to OP's sister and husband whether or not OP wants to refer to them as husband and wife.
They are technically in a de facto marriage, also once known as a common law marriage.
"Common-law marriage is a legal framework where a couple may be considered married without having formally registered their relation as a civil or religious marriage. In effect, the act of the couple representing themselves to others as being married and organizing their relation as if they were married, means they are married."
Why does OP need a piece of paper from the government or church to decide whether they are husband and wife or not?
@@SH-qs7ee why do they need to get worked up over OP being not wrong?
@@dutchvanderbilt9969 Because she doesn't get to define their relationship for them. It's their choice whether or not to get officially married, and it's their choice what they want to be called. The OP is making it about her by refusing to acknowledge their wishes.
Last story, totally not the ahole. My mother was exactly the same constantly crticising me about my weight while shoving food at me and being offended if I didn't eat it. I also developed an eating disorder. You did the right thing by telling her to stop and I hope you carry through if she doesn't for the sake of your son. It took me years of therapy to finally be free of it. Good luck.❤
So Story #5 --- that Mom is a life-saver & rockstar. I truly hope that the daughter has the capacity & ability to look back in 10 years and appreciate that her mother's actions saved her from an unfulfilled life of servitude and perpetual pregnancies --- just have her watch the video of Steven Crowder berating his very pregnant wife because she doesn't submit to his every whim.
So your saying that being christian is bad?
@@Icy_Polish_Italian that kind of Christianity is bad
@@GiordanDiodato same could be said with atheism (you have no idea how many ppl wanted me to become atheist) but ok
@@Icy_Polish_ItalianI don’t see where OP mentioned being a Christian is bad. He just said that the mom saved her daughter from an unfulfilled life of servitude and perpetual pregnancies.
I personally don’t care for religion, but if someone wants to worship in their own way (or not worship), that’s okay by me, as long as they aren’t hurting anyone or forcing their beliefs (or non beliefs) onto anyone.
Story 4: Yeah, OP should go NC HARD AND FAST! These are not people you want to be around, let alone want your significant other to be around. If what they said was when they were drunk, imagine what they would say behind your back or in your face. I also find it interesting that the NC sister is throwing shade at OP for burning bridges with their mom and her family, but i guess since shes said NC, shes not too worried about being in the crossfire. Or this could be the "Keep the peace" kicking in. For better or for worse, OP and Maya should keep the mom and aunts uninvited. If people don't come, oh well. And as for Dad, yeah, he has no spine evidently, so he's already miserable
Okay dude I am dyslexic so if I saw that guy saying that he wouldn’t breathe another breath
Poor baby 😢
Christ really changed up on us huh
There is no excuse for a teacher to bully a student at all, it takes a special kind of piece of crap for a grown-assed adult to abuse their power over someone younger/smaller than them. NTA.
Story 2 This is how life is nowadays sadly. People acting all entitled and not paying attention to what is around them, like an 8 MONTH PREGNANT WOMAN. They expect everything to be done cause they think the world owes them.
OP should have asked the Karen who she worked for too, so she could complain to them about how this entitled worker of theirs harassed an 8 moth pregnant woman because she wouldn't carry a 30 lb bag of dog food.
@@SH-qs7eeWould that be legal? I'm not mad. I genuinely don't know.
@@MsAngelique I'm not sure, but since this entitled woman is doing it, I'm guessing she thinks it's perfectly okay to do.
@@SH-qs7ee I don't think we need to go that far in this situation
@@11rahimis1234 Why not? The chance that the woman would tell OP where she worked, let alone her workplace will write her up for something she did in her own personal time, is pretty small. It's just giving her a small taste of her own medicine.
10:23 This story gives me control freak vibes, and the daughter is too blinded by love and/or money to see it. The OP and her ex want what's best for their daughter and the boyfriend (probably now ex-boyfriend) was try to control the daughter especially after only knowing her for a little while. Op is not the jerk!
Regarding the marriage one, I've never heard someone who use religion as their only qualifier for being a good person be a good one, the dude sounds like he's part of a cult
Story 6: stepson should go and live with his dad or limited access where he doesn't get every other weekend buy instead random weekdays only so he can't go on all these trips to brag about.
Or you will need to do similiar and take quality time bonding with him doing exciting stuff to outdo his dad
Story 3: there's literally nothing wrong with calling your lover your spouse if you ain't married.
Story 3, If they have been together that long, a piece of paper now could save them an awful lot trouble later. They would need iron clad wills and iron clad power of attorneys for each other, in case of medical need or death.
Story 4 - people are more likely to say their truefeelings when they are drunk. It is up to you who you invite to the wedding. Have the wedding in Norway, the expense should stop most of your family attending.
Story 5- yep, sketchy. She will thank you in a few years. Hopefully the boyfriend will bugger off, if she does go ahead with it, find the number for the local 'snatch my kid back' service.
16:43: I love those intro lines that truly indicate that this is not a question.
Story 3: she's jealous of her sister's secure 15 years relationship.
Story 4: OP did nothing wrong and it seems like his mum pulls similar stuns like this over the years and OPs dad sounds like a weak man child that needs his wife's approval to just breathe.
Oof lol
Fifteen years? If they've lived together all or most of that time then that's considered a common law marriage in many countries. They may not have signed the legal papers, but they've done all the far more important stuff. OP sounds so incredibly bitter and pathetic. Marriage isn't for everyone!
is like the other person said p is just jealous
Seriously I've been with my gf for 6 years and we have a daughter but have no interest in marriage. It holds zero value as neither of us are religious,have a big family, and don't see how some paperwork legitimizes is more than having a kid together
@@YourShadowKeeper Whats bitter and pathetic is the OP`s sister to expect that everyone is gonna play in their games. If they belive they don`t need to "sign a paper" as they like to call it, that`s fine. But they should not be demanding everone to fall into their narrative. And calling the OP by the mother as "unsuportive" is pure manipulation. If we agree that OP`s sister has rghit to believe what she bielieves in, then the OP has a right to not agree with her and have her own believes. Other way is just a hypocrisy.
I seriously do not understatnd this NEED to have the same things that others have without any effort to get it.
Common law. If you live together for over a year and use each other's name and say you are husband/ wife, that is common law
Not all states honor common law marriage.
@@poohbear_loves_Tiggerit doesn’t but the thing is this. Because it is a thing, in general, means that the idea of “marriage being more then a piece of paper” is not valid as common law does not even require a piece of paper from a courthouse. So yeah while OP can ignore the wishes of the sister they cannot do so without getting grief.
About the husband and wife thing,
They can call themselves whatever they want, but dont expect others to do so, it is their decision, not everyone else's
Story 3: My paternal grandmother had this exact same situation, and for the OP, I think the best solution to her problem is just to say that they are married at heart, just not on paper. That is, while they don't have a marriage certificate, they still feel married and want to spend the rest of their lives together.
1st story- clever plan
That marriage one I agree with. If you’re not married but want to call your partner husband/wife that’s fine but don’t expect me to do it also. Until it’s legit you’re just in a relationship. She’s not a jerk for not wanting to lie.
Am I the jerk for telling my stepson to stop mentioning his dad YES SIR YOU MOST DEFINITELY ARE
I remember when I was pregnant with my 3rd child. I worked at a poultry ranch, recently had a work injury of where I slipped and fell on my spinal cord, and had lift/carry a 5 gallon bucket of wash water around for 11hrs. 5 gallons is 42lbs.
i have to absolutely give a giant thumps up to the mom of story 7 for not only supporting her son but standing up for him as well
Ya for 3 op is being a jerk is not their decision on what the sister and her boyfriend want to do
it might be weird that the boyfriend and girlfriend can be called husband and wife when they're not finances yet.
@viviennemorgan7217 might be weird but it's not affecting anyone, not that it should affect anyone
15 yrs ago, my son's dad would refer to me as his old lady and I called him my old man. I was 23f at the time and he was 25m. No one ever said anything about it.
For story number 4, the op is DEFINITELY not the jerk. How are people in his family siding with the mother? The op's mother, who called his *fiance*, soon to be wife, two of the *WORST* things you can call a woman in front of the whole family! When this was the fiancees first time meeting 90% of the family! Cause now, from those simple words, most of the family is gonna probably think the fiancee is what the mother said, since the mother didn't show any fear or remorse saying those things. Even going as far as *Laughing* at the fiancee crying and leaving after the toast! That is so messed up on so many levels, its not even funny-
6:27
He is her spouse and she is his spouse.
That is the most accurate description!
Story 3 it’s legit just a label, chill. People change their names, despite papers, people change their gender, people do so many things that “aren’t traditional”
Maybe he's just a little too young to let him know how his dad exactly is but as mentioned they always find out on their own when whatever non-custodial parents is a creep. You're the adult try to be extra understanding and maybe your wife needs to have a discussion with him about how no matter what he thinks of you he owes you a modicum of respect being another adult in the house. I mean how would he feel if every time he did something you pointed out of how your son Does it Better
I feel like we all have that couple that might as well be married
Fourth story: what your mom said was out of line even if she was drunk that just reveals she hates your fiancée because being drunk only loosens a person’s inhibitions
That grandma in the last story is just like my grandma being mean running for everyone and nobody wants to take her.
8 states have a common spouse law, after so many years together you become "married" under the law and are legally considered married
Does that even count in the other states? Are you married in all states even if they don't have that law?
"I feel this, I feel that" guess what? You're feelings don't matter when it comes to other people's relationships
The 7 yr old kid reminds me of my stepsister. Her mom had 5 different kids from 5 different fathers but she always hated my mom even though she'd spoil her cause she idolized her mom and hoped my dad would get back with her. Yea right lmao 😂
15 years ... Does that qualify as "common law marriage" in that locality ❓
I got bullied by three kids in third grade witch dident end that long ago I’m going into fourth grade now but these kids did it so much they made fun of me, they would trip me and push me, and they would call me names ALOT and then I told my parents so the next day me and two of them went to the principals office then they said I would call them names but I would do it because they did, and after that they dident stop, and I asked one of them why they hated me and he said because just no awnser except for because, almost two months before school ended one of them grabbed my shoulders from behind and kicked my legs so I would fall and I went back inside witch this was at recess and I cryed a lot and then one of the lunch people saw me and talked to me and I told him everything then it stop and they tried to be my friend but I dident want to giving that they bullied me for two years and almost got in trouble for that and I was mad about that. (This also happened on the bus)
This is a long story
Sorry to hear that.
S3: OP is probably the jerk because their relationship is none of her business 😂
4th story: bruh, how are they calling him unreasonable when they HEARD WHAT THE MOTHER CALLED MAYA?! Not to mention the aunts and the mother snickering! Invite other friends and family on Maya's side but I would stand my ground firmly. I would try to find a way to get the dad there and not the mom because that was totally out of line to say to Maya. Who essentially (as far as we know) did nothing to her son!
There is a thing call common law marriage. If you have been together longer than seven years you are married
Your response to Original Poster #3 was spot on! In my opinion, any couple, after 10 years can declare themselves married! The O.P. sounds like religious or conservative nut job that believes in "traditional marriage", whatever that is!
Story 2: Depending on where they are they could be married already. Common Law marriage. So ya they don't need to "formalize" if they've been together for so long that for all purposes they are married by common law.
Story 5: I'm a devoted Christian, and even I know that this dude b bonkers. He needs to whip himself into shape
Story 3: After 10 years of living together as partners is considered a common-law marriage, at least here in Australia, which means that they are married in the eyes of the government
I don't know about story three. I've heard a lot of stories from the LGBT+ community about how not having that "little piece of paper" meant they couldn't see their significant other in the hospital, while their homophobic family that had previously disowned them gets to waltz right in, no questions asked. But it is also their relationship, and calling each other husband/wife isn't hurting anyone. I'm gonna go with my default "If they're not hurting anyone, than whatever." But maybe they should make it official, just in case.
Story 3: Common Law Marriage example right there
Bro i got my English teacher fired for being racist towards me being one of the two african kids in the class tells my parents
#3 one of the most frustrating thing thing is if its just a piece of paper then do it already don't put strain on your family for this dumb thing
The stepson story, op should’ve talked to his wife
You've been consistently living together for 7 years, then you have what's called a common law marriage.
That's a thing in around 16 American states (only 8 of those being 100% on board with that).
And the 7 years things, from what I've read, is just a legal myth. There is no time requirement in common law marriage.
The question now is "Where do they live?".
@@calinvlad858 I'm not sure about other states I just know about the one I live in.
Thank you poster for serving us 🙏 ‘story 1’
On the way out of Sarah's parents house would have yelled oh Sarah? Be sure Mike tells you about the prenup with his first wife....
Honestly, marriage is overrated anymore. Just because you aren't "married under the law" doesn't mean you can't consider yourselves life partners. Honestly, that marriage certificate just binds your assets. Marriage is a mutual commitment to another person. Honestly, you shouldn't need a piece of paper to confirm that.
Getting married where i come from is less than 30 bucks...
Story 1 yay good for you. To bad he didn’t go to jail though.
if you live together for a certin amount of years it is recognized as a common law mariage
Happy 1M🎉🎉🎉
story 7: i get body shamed all the time
3 story not the jerk, call your partners, what you want but I’m good, ps my cousin parents be together for like 20 plus years, and I never call him uncle and no one in my family call him her husband and her his wife.
I think saying this my sister partner is a nice meeting group.
See but in your situation it seems that the cousin’s parents do not care about the title that others go around which is fine. However, in story 3’s case the sis and bf do care and are asking the sister to respect the relationship by using the husband and wife titles. The duo has put in the work to maintain a relationship that is longer then what some relationships, even married ones, last. So what is the issue? After all, common law marriage exists. Unless they disagree with this idea, there is not an issue with simply following the request.
Story 7 is my favorite
Story 3 it depends on the circumstances too.
I know someone who is like that as well, and she is a high school friend of my mom who got a boyfriend but they live separated and get together sometimes. THEY ARE 50 YEARS OLD.
This is a situation of "mind your own business in both cases" because OP and the sister aren't neither right or wrong in this situation, and again depending on the context. Of course that said, OP should not had to see it like that but can get along with it just for the sake of not been a jerk too. BUT under the same breath neither the sister nor the mom has rights to tell OP that if that piece of paper isn't it too. Its an ESH situation more than anything else.
For example, we call like that with my gf despite we know for roughly 4 MONTHS , because we hit off in everything and we want that because we feel like there is not other person in the world who can fill that role perfectly on each other. We support each other in our work even and also lightly scold to not put to much unnecessary effort over health too (like "remember to go to get a nice rest and not stay to much late working"). But if we want to move in together, we will had to do it FR (mainly because i want to flee from this shithole of a country and the job opportunities in my field are better in her country plus i will go even more pro than i'm already now). So at least our knowledge of law dictate we had to at least had a convivence of at least 1 month + to turn in the papers there, both for legality and for visa stuffs too for stay permanently. We of course want also that because we're tired for ceremonies and all that shit. We want something in secret instead and live our life, maybe travel for that as a ceremony instead (thou, we also wanted to do cosplay wedding because one of her side jobs is been a WoW Vtuber streamer, and I'm an illustrator. SO ... we will look to dress up as her favorite character in my case, and my favorite off-brand anime character on her case, because she looks like Roxanne Dessir from the eroge Kyonyuu Fantasy , but the OVA version. SHE is BIGGER than her even in the booba area ♥ ).
Yup jerk marriage really is a piece of paper especially after being together 15 years comeon they’ve been together a decade
Still the best Reddit reading channel ever and if you say no then get the heck out of here right now
Story 4: imagine if the mother said that at the wedding, if I were the op I wouldn’t uninvited her and the aunts
My mom and step dad arn not "official" but still think of each other as husband and wife. Even though they got "married" at Disney World under my sister reading the lines of a priest. So no you don't technically need paperwork to say yer married.
I was understanding of the stepdad insecurities until he pointed out the guy isnt a dad. just stay the course the kid is priority and your wife is 1000% in the wrong as well. just be the dad he needs and dont step on his dad in front of him, when he makes comments like that just respond with "well he's not here"
There's a thing called common law marriage .. in Pennsylvania, at least where im from. If a couple is together for more than seven years they are legally married in the states eye's
6:44 no you can't, you can only do that if you're married. it cheapens the title if you can use it so flippantly
the family would get a chair to sit
With the not wanting to be legally married but are basically married and calling themselves by wife and husband...I don't see that as weird. I have a friend who's parents were never legally married dispite having 2 kids with each other and being together for a long time. They didn't get legally married because they didn't want their stuff split between each other if they ever decided to split. They just wanted to own their own things.
The story about the unmarried couple that chose to call themselves husband and wife: Yes, you're the jerk. 100%. It's not your relationship and therefore, is none of your business. Get over yourself.
The third story. While yes the OP might be a bit of a jerk since it is their relationship and all I am strongly siding with OP's remarks about them making it official mainly cause of my job. The document(s) that says you are husband and wife can get very important in the far future when one of them becomes deceased, it will avoid some hassles.
If they've lived together in the same house for that long they would be married anyways by the law of common law marriage
Story 3: what does it matter if a marriage certificate is signed? That is a new thing in human history anyways. Humans have paired off for 100s of thousands of years without marriage certificates. The only reason a woman would be so d@mn insistent on a marriage certificate is if she wants your assets. Because she can't weaponize the family court to take everything you own if the marriage isn't legally recognized. If a woman actually loves you, she won't give two sh!ts about a marriage certificate.
Please get Csgo surf gameplay but gta good aswell
Storry 3: I have to say banana
STORY#3
It's a
perogotive.
Why would a
piece of paper
make the
difference in
how a couple
considers they
are? Husband and
Wife is as good as
Boyfriend's or
Whatever.
❤️💙💚💛🧡
With the “husband and wife” story where they werent actually married, who cares theyve been together 15 years and he makes ops sister happy and they act like a married couple anyway only difference is if they have a falling out one doesnt get half of the others stuff. But at the end of the day not ur relationship not ur problem, and instead of saying husband/ partner, just use his name when u introduce him as this is (insert name)
6:17: This may be the only couple I've heard of that does marriage right...
As someone raised uber religious, you made the right choice.
Are you kidding me it makes about as much sense as making a victim apologize for what the criminal did what Dad said you should stand your ground and do not invite her to that wedding
for the boyfriend story, look up Common Law.
It's amazing that the narrator and OP of the daughter story won't give approval. She doesn't want her daughter to live a religious life. That's not sketchy, y'all are sketchy for thinking that your way of life is the only way she should spend her life.
In defense of the sister in story #3 my grandparents have been "dating" for 45 years now. I fully agree that a piece of paper means nothing and as far as anyone in my family is concerned they are undeniably husband and wife.
My reaction to the fourth story (the toast): 😨
I wonder why the same people who say marriage is just a "piece of paper" are the same people who are in support of the LGBT community getting that same "piece of paper" but will call it marriage. No diss just something I've noticed🤔
The one housing his bitch of a mother. How could he say that? Clearly none of them wanted to take her in.
Op told her what he needed to. If you feel her avoidance of you is harming your home life, I would bring that up with her to.
Bro broke the law cause he cant handle someone not liking him
Story 3: she is wrong and is the jerk. Common law marriage is exactly made for couples like this. A common law marriage is one in which the couple lives together for a period of time and holds themselves out to friends, family and the community as "being married," but without ever going through a formal ceremony or getting a marriage license. This gives them all the same legal rights and obligations to each other as a marriage certificate would, so yes they can call each other husband and wife. In fact it’s one of the reasons they qualify as a common law marriage. Plus of course the 15 years together.
Story 3: a marriage is not just a piece of paper. It is a vow you take before God and any witnesses if you want to have them invited. If it's just a piece of paper, then why do you have to use the term husband? If you really want to have that person be called your husband, the girl can simply say this is my sister and her common-law husband. She has every right not to use the term husband because it is reserved for an actual marriage, whether in front of a judge, minister, or an actual official. Saying vows to yourselves or promises is not the same thing. Yes you can be together forever, that's your business, but you cannot force someone to say something that they're technically right about just because you don't want to sign a "piece of paper."
Losing weight is never a bad idea. Don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to fat shame anybody, but too much weight is not a good thing and not a healthy thing and also when 💩 hits the fan you wanna be able to move the way the world is nowadays, but I do agree. Grandma was going too far but you had to put her in her place.
Story #6 The OP is a jerk in this one. He is the adult and should be understanding with the child talking about his father. It doesn't sound like the OP is trying to bond and understand why the young boy is talking about his dad so much. Children are just as much hurt by divorce as the parents are. He could be more understanding.
Miss piggy at it again I'm wondering who's doing the piggy voice 😊
For the guy in the third story, I don’t think he was really being a jerk more like just pushing it further than it had to go. In my opinion, though you were right on the fact that he took it too far, and should respect their wishes, even if he doesn’t understand it once again just my opinion
Story 3:Sis and her boyfriend have no right to expect everyone to call their relationship what it isn't.
Technically speaking, she doesn’t have to, but it would be very rude if they really want to call themselves that. Like, what would you say if they had a traditional marriage and the sister’s husband was call her boyfriend, that would be rude, especially since they want themselves to be considered, husband and wife. I understand OP is a bit confused about all this, but it is no reason to be rude about it.
While this is true. They also have the right to react the way they wish. They have put the leg work to maintain a relationship that only few couples, even married ones, achieve regarding duration.
If OP does not wish to recognize them as husband and wife due to lacking a piece of paper, that is fine. But OP is then subject to any reactions that will come to ignoring the wishes of the sister.
All in all, OP can either cosign the request or expect to get grief but she can’t ignore the request and expect no grief.
@@DanielGonzalez-qk6sd I completely agree, OP can choose not to recognize them as husband and wife, but get grief in return.