How To Leave A Marriage With No Money
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- Опубліковано 15 чер 2024
- If you're in a relationship that is not healthy and you think money is a reason for you to not get out, there are things you need to learn in this video.
Watch and Enjoy!
Randy Soderquist
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Video by Nate Woodbury
BeTheHeroStudios.com
/ natewoodbury
When you said at the end, "i apologize for my emotion" i was already crying. You spoke to my soul tonight and i truly appreciate it
I left my husband went to a women shelter but at the shelter you can’t stay there long you got to get yourself together and find an apartment fast, most women that go there are so emotionally tired they just sleep for days but then after if you have no money, no credit how are you going to get a roof over your head and if you have kids it’s worse who is going to take care of the kids if you go to work at minimum salary???
So many questions unanswered.
There should be funding from the state for anyone wishing to leave an abusive relationship.
I so wish and pray Jessie thar happens.
Yes I agree!
I wish that were a thing because I’d be able to leave tonight
Trying to make this as polite as possible, but the rest of us are not responsible for your bad decisions. Expecting tax payers to float your bad choices and unwillingness to be personally accountable and responsible for them is shirking your own penalties and pushing off your personal growth.
@@eparrish2908 as a tax payer I would 100% support a program like this. These women need help. Damn sure would rather my money go to women in need than illegals.
I don’t even need to peruse happiness I just want away from this unhappiness and unhealthy pain.
Exactly my experience. Thank u .
I hate my misses so much i can barely stand up in the morning
Same love I hope you’re doing better
Same here, I'm getting screamed at right now and all my stuff is getting broken as we speak..but I have two puppies and no place to go
Same here.
My wife’s drinking an mental abuse along with arguing has gotten worse over the 7 year marriage. I’m leaving with just a rucksack and a car in two weeks as I can no longer stand it. I don’t care if I have no home, I’ll be happy.
I left the marriage
Money is a real problem. When it's tied into the family home. My private business is from home also. The rents here in Australia are through the roof.
I’m not looking for happiness… I’m looking for peace.
I dream of contentment. Heck, I would even choose melancholy over the anxiety and depression that I live with.
My mom was so abusive to me growing up. My dad always says he cant leave because of money and his age. He is 75. It mades me so sad. Thank you for making this video. I hope he sees this one day so that we can have some happy memories together in his winter stage. ❤
Thank you. This video really gives me a lot of strength in believing in myself again. Thank you and thank you.
Thank you. Exactly what I needed to hear and start to understand. I appreciate you sharing this message.
I thankful for this I will start the steps to get out
SO GLAD TO FIND THIS. I totally am in alignment with this way of thinking so it’s so so great to have a specific video for my situation from a teacher who teaches from the universal laws. Thank you for your guidance
This is a very heartfelt video, sometimes I feel trapped as a stay at home mother of three. My husband can be really hateful sometimes. Thank you for the encouragement that I can change it, and not be afraid to take that step.
Selina Flahive hi Selina, thank you for your comments. In any circumstance or situation we can feel trapped, but the truth is, there is always a way out. We may not see it or as you stated, we may be afraid to take that step but things are always changing and we have the power to influence things to change in a positive direction. Best wishes to you as you strive to improve your life and the life of your children and your marriage if you choose to stay!
Thank you Dr Aguiyi spell caster for what you have done for me am so greatful my lover is back to me and we are now living happily together. you can get in contact with this Dr on email: via, aguiyispellcaster@gmail.com or whatsapp +2348151642717.Facebook page:facebook.com/aguiyispellcaster
I feel you.mom of two here.
Same, I’m not abused but make no money and just cry. I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do.
@@bf5497 same
i hope youre doing good randy, havent heard from you in a while! i love your videos and im so thankful for your advice ❤
While I sincerely appreciate your video and the time you took to make it, we are fine and half minutes in an absolute no talk about how to leave with no money. How to get the money or even that the video is about what the title says it's about. I'm so lost and honestly, I didn't find any help here. ☹️ Though it appears some did. I hope for them that they are able to get away and be free. One day, when I don't have children to house or feed anymore maybe I'll be able to be free to. Today I told him he was asshole after he pulled the closet mirrors off the wall and made my ten year old cry because she wasn't doing her homework, his response was " do something about it". He knows I can't. We are all so stuck in misery.
The point was money is an excuse we use not to leave. We need to find a way and we can do it.
No family or friends to support me. History of failures plus history of depression. My sense of value as a person has gone way down. I feel like I mess up everything I do and embarass myself when when I try to take chances. When that happens, I withdraw and experience very difficult feelings and wake up emotionally exhausted. Then, I experience that all day and then it eats at me through the night. I try to meditate and succeed sometimes, fail other times. I just feel so deeply lonely and lost...it seems like i just keep encountering rejection, shunning, shaming, and people underestimating me before I even get a chance. And unfortunately, despite my sincerely best efforts, I tend to prove them right... and this makes me feel completely worthless.
I.vi. Its Whatvr something’s you just need to take a step back and stop trying to please everyone or prove yourself to anyone . Simply write down your goals where you want to be and what you want to do and work towards it . Focus on your well being . Stay strong !
Everything that you stated in your response, are your beliefs and if you have watched more of my videos, you know that our beliefs drive our behaviors. We also tend to think that are beliefs are true but many if not most of the time, our beliefs are not true. We have the power to change our beliefs and if we change our beliefs, our behaviors will change and ultimately our outcomes will change. It begins with small steps of how we see ourself and who and what we want to be! Be willing to question the negative beliefs you have about yourself and be willing to replace those beliefs with the truth, which is that you have value, you are amazing and you can create whatever life you truly desire. Napoleon Hill said "whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve!
I'm speechless, this describes me and my situation. Feeling trapped mixed in with the depression, makes U exhausted and unmotivayed. How I've been living 4 the last decade.
@@laurenm9563 me to
Change your environment it will reset your perception and feel better
thank you so much i really needed this
Thank you for putting out this video. However I am scared to take accountability, to stick to the choice and to take control of my future happiness when I have NO support 😞
Me too 😢
same
There are women or family shelters for domestic violence in most counties in the USA.
Thank you for this. ❤
I am a guy who desperately wants to get out of my marriage. Unfortunately, we
Moved to a city where I have been unable to find full-time employment that provides a living wage. I am so trapped.
Me to
Get a remote job...
Leave the city, brother.
@@Sinha010 I am about to.
I'm ready after lifestyle, mental,and emotional building up of myself. I want to ask for prayers. God Bless
Me too!! I'm praying for you
Thank you so much for this video. It makes so much sense. I didn’t really know what I was getting into before I got married but deep down I did. I guess I was hoping for better but it’s just getting worse. I’m too embarrassed to ask for help because people warned me before I said “ I do” but I saw a different person than they did and I stuck with it. He just make excuses for his behavior and lash out at me and I’m tired of it. I think once I know valuable I am I will make better decisions. Thank you again .
Your message was great because I am very reactive I dont think things through I just get angry and react. But I am being mistreated verbally and emotionally and do want out however I have not worked in 7 yrs I am still grieving the death of my mom even though its been 3 yrs and I am taking care of my 3 children 1 of which has autism and I do need completely depend on my spouses income so I cant just leave because its not just me I have to worry about. I am being disrespected and cheated on and finance is always being thrown in my face and held over my head and I dont even know where to begin to get a job, to get a place to find peace I just dont know Im completely disgusted with this, embarrassed and I dont want my daughters to grow up and think that this behavior from a man is ok or that I am weak because my strength is what keeps me going they are what keeps me going God is what keeps me going. I just wish and pray for something an idea, a fresh start a job something some direction. The one person I could truly depend on is gone and I know realize just how alone I am. Its crazy because I grew up in a single parent home even though my dad was always there and always wanted a family and I end up with somebody as selfish, disrespectful and cold as this person. I am happy I came across this at least I can control my actions and learn my lessons.
My mom and dad died within the past two years and my engagement fell apart. I'm still trying to figure out what to do as well. Whatever you do make sure you cover yourself legally and document any abuse mistreatment, record phone calls and save messages. Anything you can to prove why it's not working .
lmao your advice for leaving abusive relationships is to think positive and law of a traction money to yourself? Yea, that's real proactive holy crap
Wow that is awesome thanks
Thank you for publishing this video.
Thanks
Very eye opening
thank you for this.. I've watched like 5 times already.. you are speaking nothing but the truth.
Tried to leave last year and not one person wanted to help me. I’ve been living in denial and hoping for better until I started seeing the way it affects my 18 year old. Now I’m realizing I have to do this without help from other people. I started my own business and I’m hoping eventually I can make enough money to leave.
Good job being willing to do “whatever” it takes to make the changes in your life that you want. Many times the way does not present itself to us initially and so we need to “step into the dark” so to speak and then the way shows up! Continue your journey and trust that as you continue to make self-interest choices, things will work out!
@@principlebasedliving3294 it is very hard to live in limbo but I have protected myself by detaching emotionally. I am trying to teach my daughter to do the same. I can’t change his lack of empathy or gaslighting but I can respond with total detachment. As a person who used to be codependent (I grew up with abuse), this has been a hard change but a necessary one.
Happy Pin Design it sounds to me like you have been gaining a lot of knowledge and wisdom and becoming a very strong person!!!
When you are having any kind of issues that you feel trapped, abused etc and don't know which way to go please seek a therapist. There is nothing wrong with seeing someone who is trained to give advise a help us see what the underline problem is. I watched this video because I thought it was a financial information.
Yes. This is crazy in a way. Money is real. Come on. Leaving an abusive in all ways husband with nothing, especially if disabled, is so hard. You are forced to rely on the charity of others if you are lucky. Money is key to survival. To being housed, fed decently and safe. I found this video insulting to victims of domestic abuse. And in America today where the middle class is all but dead try asking others for help, they are 4 paychecks away from having financial themselves. This is so offensive.
You helped me enough to think of a way out. Thank you.
Sussi Ah, I am glad that the information in this video was helpful to you! And I hope that you are now in a better situation. Wayne Dyer used to say that "when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change". Our thoughts and beliefs are powerful! Good job on beginning to make changes to improve your life!
Good! Continued best wishes!
Thank you and may God bless you
Are You Heartbroken? Don’t be upset, let Awimayehun Spell Caster help you get your Ex back” I was married for 5 years with 2 kids and i have been living happily with my family until things started getting ugly with me and my husband that leads us to fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that my husband filed for divorce… I tried my best to make him change his mind & stay with me cause i loved him with all my heart and didn’t want to loose my husband but everything just didn’t work out… He moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster called Awimayehun Spell Caster, Who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try it because I was desperate and left with no choice… He did the spell for me and things really work out as he promise and my husband have a change of mind and come back home to stay with me and the kids💃. And promise never to hurt me again. we are living happily as it was with the help of Awimayehun Spell Caster. If you are in need of help you can reach him through his Facebook page link below by clicking on the link facebook.com/Awimayehun-Spell-Caster-102701668485181/
Very motivational... I hope to find better answers in days to come!
My abuse is that i am unhappy that he has used all our ‘funds/ savings for his family’. Ive said it a million times they were never our responsibility. That is empowering but problem is he doesnt acknowledge anything. This stress is killing me. He shrugs it off that oh well, i agree, but what can we do now? His fam is living in our home abroad. FREE for 12 yrs. for the past 3 yrs he is sying okay it will be sold but its not a bicycle. Itll take time. But im not getting any younger here. Classic case of string her along for as long as possible. Ive been married 25.5 yrs, i work full time and pay the mortgage and taxes....house is in my name although i know its a matrimonial home. 😞 Ive said i want a e so many times... he just hangs around the house acting normal w the 2 kids we hv.
I did not find this channel by accident. No Sir. This is what I needed, and your explaination of value was really good ! Even though you showed some emotion, I think it's beautiful that you can still speak through them and help people like me. You don't now how much of a life saver this video is. Thank you for sharing. May God bless you❤
Thank you! I am glad you found it helpful!
My husband controls everything from the rules for my children, to the temp of the air conditioning. He has stapled curtains closed so the children can't open them. He has harassed my mother over text many times. I have no idea how to get out. I have 3 kids, and I don't work. It's a scary situation. He gets angry at me for my feelings. If I'm anything but happy, he picks on me and torments me. I've had multiple family members die in the last several years. He's told me to get over it. (Oh and the air conditioning? I turn it to a higher temp during the day and on energy save. He comes in, and puts it to 61 or 64. He screamed at me for changing it, and said he pays the bills. I explained that it wasn't that hot out one day, and I'm literally trying to save money. But he screamed at me again. It's his money. He wants it cold here I guess. I mean, 61 and 64 isn't comfortable in the winter OR the summer. Kids weren't comfortable in that temp. I don't want to bundle up in the summer because it's cold in the house.)
He sounds like a nightmare. I hope you got out.
This was a beautiful video! I got emotional right there with you; I could feel how much it meant for you❤ Thank you! I hope I can get out of this nightmare 🙏
Me too. I'm praying for you. Hopefully now you are out and happy, as I see you posted this 4 months ago. I'm emotional as well. Sobbing currently. But we'll be okay. We'll make it. I promise.
@@TheMightyBlackPearl I am truly embarrassed to say this, but I am still in this miserable marriage. My husband proved me once again today, why I need to leave him. I am 7 months pregnant, have two kids, and absolutely nowhere to go. I am so sick and tired of this constant abuse.😭 But as of right now, I have no choice. Hopefully,I can do something about it after my baby is born.
@@oledka5923 I'm praying for you. You deserve to be happy and loved. ❤️
I need help 😔unhappy marriage😞😔😞
me too Mae
Me too 😔
I'm 1 step away from running out . To end this unhappy relationship. But I have no job yet or a way to get apartment. It's so frustrating.
Me too and don't know how to get out don't have a job yet I am depressed. I am shy and antisocial, relationship wasn't bad when I was in my country since he brings me in U.S.A everything changes 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
The hardest part tht I don't have any relatives in United states I am by myself with 2 children omg God help me please
Thank you
Truth well said.
Ya lost me, sir... 🧐 at about 11:13 I couldn’t follow anymore..
I’ve been with my husband for 14 years.
We have 4 kids and I’m a stay at home mom.
He controls everything and I don’t even have enough money to file for divorce. If I leave I’m screwed.
I hve no family that can help, all my friends live too far for me to ask for me to help.. I’m 32, with 4 kids. Zero income and nobody to help with my children so I can work. I’m screwed!
Kids are 10, 6, 4, & 1..
Kat Gould this is me...😭... every night I cry for my mom Cos only she could get me out of this but she is late now and all I have are my tears..
Start taking classes on line, take 50 week from grocery and pay for a certificate at the community college. Once you get your certificate start working
Girl you better get child support for all those kids and find things around the house while hes at work to sell. Leave him with the kids for a while until you get on your feet.
@@mr.spacely6503 That will be a big mistake do not abandoned your kids you might live to regret this. The husband might use legal means to stop her from seeing her children for a very long time.
@@diorpeter4233 abandon?????
Thank you❤
Do you find it sad I'm watching this on Fathers Day? I shouldve told him "Happy Fathers Day" but why should I put up a front? 🙄
Update: I stopped caring! 🙏
Chelle F, Even though he was treating the kids and me like crap, we made it a good Father’s Day for him, at least as best we could. The gifts we gave him are still in a gift bag in his bedroom. He has never even touched them. 😔 Sad.
I'm doing a whole ton better. I didnt need some spell caster, witch, or sha man (medicine man) to help me. I actually had a good cry session one day and told God I didn't want to feel the way I did anymore- God surely answered my prayers. Havent looked back since. I pray you find God because truth be told that spell caster wasn't the answer for you. Ill be praying for you!
@Morning Song did he ever open the gifts?
I am from Venezuela and I am in a very difficult situation in a marriage that I know is already dead. Due to the economic situation in my country, it has become more difficult for me to get out of this toxic relationship. You have helped me to see things from another perspective. Thank you.
I have no money I had a nervous breakdown and I quit my job
Are You Heartbroken? Don’t be upset, let Awimayehun Spell Caster help you get your Ex back” I was married for 5 years with 2 kids and i have been living happily with my family until things started getting ugly with me and my husband that leads us to fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that my husband filed for divorce… I tried my best to make him change his mind & stay with me cause i loved him with all my heart and didn’t want to loose my husband but everything just didn’t work out… He moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster called Awimayehun Spell Caster, Who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try it because I was desperate and left with no choice… He did the spell for me and things really work out as he promise and my husband have a change of mind and come back home to stay with me and the kids. And promise never to hurt me again. we are living happily as it was with the help of Awimayehun Spell Caster. If you are in need of help you can reach him through his Facebook page link below by clicking on the link facebook.com/Awimayehun-Spell-Caster-102701668485181/
I am sorry and I hear you. Keep trying to keep your head up. Look for other videos to help. Ones created by women for women because this is not helpful.
I like this guy
I am married for 8yrs now and my husband as no job and he don't want to take small job for a start, he didn't have a job before we got marry but I just think when we marry job will come. And before I got marry to him I have a big shop with two sales girl, but now I don't have a shop again, no money for me to buy water or drink again for my self, and I have two kids, and now am on a BP drugs everyday ,and am 37yrs .I want to live my husbands but am thinking if my 2 kids. 7&3 going to 4 I need help.
Well I have children and I don't have anyone to turn to so
Same here. No money, no job as I’m a full time carer, no car, no nothing, no family, no friends. I’m just waiting for him to die. That’s my only option. Hope you are ok.
I don't know how. I tried once to leave but he took my children, I was devastated without them. I went back. They are all grown and married now. I just don't have much money (not enough to get a place like I want). I am terrified to talk to anyone for fear he will find out, he took my home and kids away once and am afraid he will do the same again. I don't know how to change my beliefs (negative conditioning continues to run through my head a lot), I don't know where to get help. Just don't know what to do.
Chang can be very scary or it can be exciting depending on how we look at it! I can’t say that I understand what it is like to be living in your situation but I do know that it is no fun to live a life that is motivated by fear. Continue to love, trust and be patient with yourself. A book that you may find helpful is But He Will Change by Joanna Hunter. Thanks for reaching out!
Thank You, this information is very helpful.
What about people with chronic illness who are not physically able to do a lot?
ah 771025 great question
There are resources available for you. It’s just really hard to find them. If you have a United Way in your area, they may be able to help you. Hope you find your way. Praying for you.
@@morningsong8077 Unfortunately, none of the many organizations I reached out to would help, nor after waiting 6 months on the domestic violence center... but my dad came through and helped me moved out and I saved up some money from a variety of things that God just gave to me... I am living safely on my own now and in the divorce process. I wish there was REAL help for women like me who do not have children but are sick and worn down. I found out I was being psychologically and emotionally abused.
@@morningsong8077 there really aren't that many and the money given is scant. That is the reality of America today and our government's spending. The United Way helps other charities. It distributes funds. You may get blankets.
I see and hear your pain. I am 52, and grew up in a household that lived the fairy tale that you read in every book a little girl reads growing up. Where Prince Charming comes along and you see your parents in this same light, where Mom stays at home and you stay home and raise your kids and everybody is happy. There was ZERO abuse in my family life and childhood. My Dad was a great provider. My Mom worshipped my Dad. She catered to his EVERY need. Packed his suitcase for his business trips, made his favorites for dinner when he returned. The whole wonderful life.... My Grandparents on both sides, lived that lie as well. But theirs were to the extremes...My Mom came from a family of 6 where both parents were alcoholics and all 6 of the kids lives were hell. This all changed after my Mom's parents got older, then they had stopped drinking and fighting and were like 2 teenagers in love again til they died. On my Dad's side, were Beaver and Wally and his folks, to perfection. So I heard about half, and lived half and I wanted that Cleaver life for me and my kids so badly. You just can't learn someone what that is al about and how to do it, no matter how hard you try or how terribly you want it. I could swear I had learned the 1st time around the red flags, but you know how blind damn love is and can't be "force taught" to anyone.... 30 wasted years later....no real day skills, I am told to get a job, that I am basically worthless. When I am not. Even at 52. I am not any of the things I have been called, the B word as well, when I was a tomboy and still am, and never one of those high maintenance women who cant even pump their own gas, for fear they may lose a nail, or a hair ruined, by one strand out of place, ir demand a 2 dr Mercedes to drive, even though I have 3 kids. Wtvr I did have from my past, it was all stuff I worked hard, for very little, and much of it were things that spent months on layaway, with me chipping away at weekly-if I could. And even without being married for many years, my income tax returns would always seem to come in the mail when their was an emergency with HIS business that required the exact amount I got back, working, with one child and the 1st father never paying child support. But I still felt I was doing my part. And that smtms you have to be the giver. Well, he was more the taker. Even though he did all the Bill's, that was what I was raised to believe. You worship this man in your life. Well, I am also a multi media artist, and have the personality of one to go with it. Kinda aloof, can procrastinate deadlines, a dreamer, but I was also a darn good Mom, and being home, I DEVOTED myself to raising our 3 children into wonderful adults, (middle child-hell), and I made a LOT of excuses for the hubs, being from an extremely dysfunctional (to this day) family, so I would always say, that is why he would hurt me, lie to me, cheat on me, steal from me, because he wasn't so lucky growing up and needed time and patience and lots of love he missed to grow up into the man I always thought he could and wanted to be.(He would do awful things when everything seemed to be going great, just to hurt me, just to see how much I could take and not leave, like some kind of sick test, I guessed) Unfortunately, in sheltering my sis and I, my Mom forgot to talk to us about how not everybody else was growing up in the same loving home as us. We were clueless! 1st ex hub,drug addict. Lesson learned, or I thought I had, "No matter how badly you want smthg for someone, if they don't want it with all the sincerity in THEIR heart, it ain't gonna happen!" I felt like a huge failure. And I was almost living in shock when I went home with a little one (11 1/2mths old, tail between my legs, no car, p/t job, and our clothes and little things, toiletries, diapers, formula.) And my Mom, Dad, and only sister treated me like a leper and a total loser. I was 21! And I needed their strength and support more than anything on this earth and that doubled the hurt I felt. And I think blinded me to a lot of the things the second husband, because I didn't think would survive living like that with my parents and sister, basically being shunned under the same roof! So this 2nd one, was much worse. At least the 1st one had a great family. He was just a loser. Well, the 2nd one has severe abadnoment issues from his own mother, so how should I ever have thought he could even know what trust or love even was. 30 years of that, 12 married when I had thrown him out for 3 months and after this many times over, a proposal and a huge apology...I am 52, he is 53, giving in to our middle child and I refuse and am furious at the lack of a united front. And now, after not ever wanting me to work, never telling me oh you should, you can do it, you'd be great, no, it was you need to be here for me and these kids, now the baby is 19 and the only one left at home, with asp. autism, which REQUIRES me home. He says, GET A JOB! AND called me MOTHER F@CKER. In the same sentence..... I have no car. Half my teeth are GONE from a full term pregnancy-that middle hellion-where I was sick the entire time and Dr. told me, she sucked the calciuma nd nutrients, vitamins, minerals, etc out of my body bcs I couldn't eat to provide any of it.....I had low self esteem until I was 40. I was and still am a beautiful woman. Good and kind and a very hard worker. I will work til I drop if I need to. Never was lazy, but now it's being applied that I am? I wonder if this one has been body snatched and not been here the entire time as I RAISEE all three kids, while he worked. I was mom and dad. Now he wants to be one and thinks he knows best? And refuses to co parent the 22 yr old or ever tell her no. But WILL tell me no, and FU. I have wanted a real, true partner all these years. An equal, a peer, and I really have gotten taken, twice now. Now I am 52 and its implied I am lazy and worthless without a job? And suddenly, at 52, need one? And he's going to hire a 52-year old woman with half her teeth missing? Unless I have someplace I can work with a mask give me a break. My years without children were supposed to be spent in my art studio. Which I do have one. Beautiful studio, in our house! I can't use it when I am unhappy, which is daily! I may have 10, maybe even 20 yrs left, and I want to spend them happy. I didnt just raise kids, pets, and keep a house. I also ran his business. Tax prep, bookings, designed his brochure-for free, all office related things he doesn't have the knack for, so I was and am a very busy bee. I find this all very insulting. If I am told to work now. Every penny I make(tried before, HHA, made 7k in 3 months, I out every check, every Friday in OUR saving account to create a down payment for a house someday, he took and spent and didnt tell me??? But now married, not considered theft, which it was to me, only $ I had made in over 20 yrs since having kids and working for him, for free. He takes it. Didnt even leave me a couple hundred for a pair of cowboy boots I had always wanted a nice pair andhadn't had a pair since I was 14. So that hurt more than the whole thing. He could have took it all and I wouldn't care if he would just have left enough for me to get a pair of lousy couple hundred dollar boots out of seven thousand? So this is what finds me here. I will start playing $1000 a week for life and Wednesday and Sat lotto even if I have to split it in my 50 50 state. I am so done I don't even believe in love anymore and just want to take my crap, my son, my animals(dogs and pig) and be left alone. I don't believe in love anymore. The only thing I've ever gotten out of it is used, abused, and belittled, my love has been used against me by EVERYONE, not just him. I have no friends bcs of it too! If I am kind, or loving, I am thought of as weak. I truly hope you find a way to fix your hurt. I will pray for you and put you in my heart for what it's worth. More than I have been made to think. Take care. and wish me luck and I will do the same for you 🙏❤
Wow, you have definitely been through a lot, but it is also obvious that you are smart and talented. Everything in life is an opportunity to learn to learn from and to change and grow. It sounds like you have an opportunity to change some things in your life that are not giving you the results that you want and by making those changes, your results or outcomes will also change!
I did read everything you wrote, please Seek therapy, you have issues.
Write a book sis
I thought you would tell how to leave when one side has all control of money. Sorry to be practical but in a situation where you have to leave today, how does self development pay the short-term bills.
Amen.
It isn't the money but my kids.. I can't leave them. I'm trapped
Remember, we are never trapped. Being trapped is really just lacking knowledge, information or an idea! Keep looking for answers and asking questions
I was too, finally mine are old enough that I can leave and take them with! 17,16, and 12!!!
What have you done, it’s been a year now I hope your making plans to get out. Keep learning legal, financial, start activities on your own, going to clubs and build confidence.
I have 2 daughters. 4 and newborn.
We live in her dad's rental property. She takes all my money. I can't walk away from my little girls. But I need out of here. Do I let them grow up without me? How do I find my options?
@@platnimpunk643 exactly my issue as well I pray that we find peace soon 💜
Im disabled and live in Hawaii (very high cost state). Im tired of his lies and manipulation. Just need to get far away from him already. I met him at 18 and now am 48. I don’t know what to do at this point. No parents to support me as there’s dysfunction and mom is a narcissist. Help.
I know how you feel
Thank you for this. Very encouraging message.
Thank you! I love your name!
Pls how do i quit unhappy marriage
Thank you! How empowering. I appreciate your honesty, compassion and vulnerability. Please don't apologize for expressing emotions.
Thanks Kira! Best wishes to you!
I need to leave this toxic marriage but have nowhere to go I need a place to go no money
Can you tell me how I get out of this marriage and survive without money
Your representation of value keeps me from sleeping outside and the time needed for me to work on thinking money into my life. Nobody is going to pay for me to live and feed and shelter my child and myself
America is the jungle of predators called money and those with money survive the others do not
I have no job
I did work most of our marriage
But I have become the stay at home caregiver to my mom but she past 5 years ago and my husband bought his dad to live with us and he has been with us for 5 years and it’s been so hard
For me 😞
I just don’t know what to do ? 😞
What do I do if my husband controls what I say, what I do and what I think. I have been looking on line about narcissistic personalities types of people. I have not been able to work for years now, being disabled and weak and unable to drive and walk with a cane. I will turn 60 this year. I am curious as to what you think.
He is mean and verbally and mentally abusive.
NOT HELPFUL AT ALL
This is a great video; I’m so glad I stumbled upon this!
Are You Heartbroken? Don’t be upset, let Awimayehun Spell Caster help you get your Ex back” I was married for 5 years with 2 kids and i have been living happily with my family until things started getting ugly with me and my husband that leads us to fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that my husband filed for divorce… I tried my best to make him change his mind & stay with me cause i loved him with all my heart and didn’t want to loose my husband but everything just didn’t work out… He moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster called Awimayehun Spell Caster, Who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try it because I was desperate and left with no choice… He did the spell for me and things really work out as he promise and my husband have a change of mind and come back home to stay with me and the kids. And promise never to hurt me again. we are living happily as it was with the help of Awimayehun Spell Caster. If you are in need of help you can reach him through his Facebook page link below by clicking on the link facebook.com/Awimayehun-Spell-Caster-102701668485181/
I've been with my husband for 11 years we have two boys, a couple of years ago i found out that he's been addicted to meth for a long time. I've always know something was wrong but i never could figure it out but now that i finally know what it is i feel like it's the end of the world. I didn't plan to live with an addict that's not what I wanted in a husband. I'm sick to my stomach and have been put through so much dealing with his issue for years. I feel like if i was financially stable i would have left a long time ago but i have nothing to my name no close family to help me, I've been a stay at home mom for 8 years and i feel like there's no hope like I'm stuck here.
Rosa, we are never “stuck” and we always have options. I also know that whatever it is we want, there is a way for us to have it if we are willing to learn what we need to learn and become who we need to become in order to have it! You are capable of more than you think!
@@principlebasedliving3294 Thank You! You are absolutely right.
Rosa, now that it’s been two years after your comment, did you get out? We’re you able to start over? I want out but im almost 50, my body is falling apart, I have been a stay at home mom and no family or friends to turn to, so I feel hopeless of any change.
Hello I am traped in a marriage right now that I dont want to be in! Im sruggling with menopause & depression right now.
I want a divorce but have no money & no place to live, when filling for divorce as I dont want to live with family not a good situation. I dont work because husband doesnt want me too. Also hard with my depression not recieving any money @ all. I feel our marriage is a roomate situation, no sex for 3 years, no communication, he works long hrs, I say home I have alot of resentment & want out dont know what to do.
Im not ashamed to ask for help, I dont know anyone who is going to let me live free in a house or apt. With my four cats, dont want to give up cats because I get a divorce. Please me with the resoris to help me get out of this marriage please.
I want to be happy again!!
It sounds like you are in a very difficult situation. I would encourage you to watch some of my other videos because the solution to your situation is not “one“ thing. It will require a change in thinking and behavior Check out the videos on the foundational principles of accountability, choice and control and there are also quite a few videos addressing various relationship issues
@@principlebasedliving3294 Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions, I will check out the other videos as well. Thank you
I really appreciate this.
This was something I truly needed to hear. Thank you.
Are You Heartbroken? Don’t be upset, let Awimayehun Spell Caster help you get your Ex back” I was married for 5 years with 2 kids and i have been living happily with my family until things started getting ugly with me and my husband that leads us to fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that my husband filed for divorce… I tried my best to make him change his mind & stay with me cause i loved him with all my heart and didn’t want to loose my husband but everything just didn’t work out… He moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster called Awimayehun Spell Caster, Who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try it because I was desperate and left with no choice… He did the spell for me and things really work out as he promise and my husband have a change of mind and come back home to stay with me and the kids. And promise never to hurt me again. we are living happily as it was with the help of Awimayehun Spell Caster. If you are in need of help you can reach him through his Facebook page link below by clicking on the link facebook.com/Awimayehun-Spell-Caster-102701668485181/
I need a place to go any advice I have very little money
@@sarahkelly1067 can someone let me stay until.I get on my feet.any lady friend or relative
@@sarahkelly1067 what are resources or services
Do you have a podcast?
No, but planning on beginning to do some more videos and starting a podcast. I will announce it when that happens
I just wish my husband cared about me.
I care about you! He doesn't see your value
🙏
Wow, that me
How do you not blame yourself? How to you learn to love yourself. How do you make yourself understand that you do have value and that you are loved? 😭😭
Wow! Lots of good questions and no simple answer. The one thing that we can do that will begin to change how we see and feel about ourselves is to make and keep commitments to ourself. This can be anything and you can start with small things like, today I will get up when my alarm goes off or today I will read for 10 minutes etc. it can be anything, but as we begin keeping the commitments we make to ourself we begin to value and respect ourself more. When we don’t keep our commitments to ourself, then what we are saying is that we are not important and what we say does not matter. Give this a try and keep watching my videos, there is a lot of helpful information in them! Thanks again for commenting
When small children are involved, you have no control over the money, no family, or friends, it's impossible. You can leave and risk being killed, by your Narcissist spouse.
:(
Yes, this video was of no help.
@@KrisCheyne agreed.
This is my current situation. I have a place to go and a friend willing to help with almost everything I need, but I’m scared to take the first step because I know my husband will try to take my son away from me.
@@KrisCheyne it’s not the video’s fault that you’re stuck. He gave emotional advice. It’s not a cure all. We have to do the work to get out.
I’m trapped and 71 years old
Cheryl, I feel your pain. I am 65, dealing with an addiction my husband got me hooked on, have sciatica that makes working very painful, have poor credit, have been emotionally and mentally abused for 35 years, have been living away from home and away from my true supporters, have no savings, barely eke out a living, and feel like a real nothing. I’ve been trying to leave for 3 months but I can’t afford to move out and get a divorce. But, I know that this isn’t what God wants for me. He doesn’t want me wishing every day that I could just die and escape this. All I want is to be free and joyfully participate in life again. I’m hanging on for dear life. You hang on too- you’ll be okay. 🙂
You seem a lot like me were the nice guy always finishes last
Wow...if only slaves,servents, illegal aliens and traffic victims had this information... There ARE desperate people out there. God bless the missunderstood.😇
This was about marriage, not their situations--of which they have a great deal of help out there to accomplish.
homelessness is the fear i think for us and who is in these stuff and disabilities skills support love etc when people are financially bound it is such a hardship for each
Inga FreemanG one thing that I hope my videos do is to help us become more aware of our beliefs because our beliefs drive our behaviors. So, our beliefs about ourselves, about money, about relationships etc determine how we see and experience the world and then how we respond I believe that we are all powerful and capable of creating the lives that we dream about, but in order to do that we need to be able to identify and then break through the limiting beliefs and emotions, like fear, that hold us back. I say all of this without judgment as it is a lifelong process for all of us! Wishing all the best for you!
That's what I'm afraid of... becoming homeless...I have a nice home... I'm 65 now... he's unbearable... he's 62 soon...I need to get away soon bad..but if I leave I can never come back..I have 2 dogs.
@@heidiroy1784 he does not understand women in abusive situations or trauma that comes with being abused. Women run if they are smart. But his "information" is so shallow as to be useless. The government helps so little.
Wow much of what you said really resonated, we make decisions from our limited beliefs and then the circumstances become a repeat of a vicious cycle we know and live, I am choosing to change, I know I am very negative and that fuels my life and it has to stop because I keep choosing people who reinforce this idea that I am not worthy of decent human behavior, I try to be happy but it you are right it is not in my self interest and to make moves to leave, I am holding myself accountable!
I left my husband three months ago. I drove 2000 miles to get away Now I have to go back. Family and friends told me to leave my abusive mentally unstable husband but they don't help me.
I found a part-time job about to get training for another job and my car makes a sound do frightening while I am driving and loses most functions so no car.
I receive $750.00 for disability. I was part sleeping in my car part time share cabins and part-time with a relative that is angry and bare stay financially afloat. Shelters are crowded. Subsidized housings waiting list are years long.
My husband said I am welcome back and then in same sentence says he want to break up and then says he and the dod misses me. He said he will help me get a new car. I feel like he will hold that over my head. I am not sure what to do.
I am sorry about your very difficult situation. I don’t have a specific answer for you and what I can tell you is to listen to your gut, trust yourself and know that you always have options. Even if you can’t see them, they are there and maybe it only takes a new perspective, one conversation with the right person, one thought or idea from a book or video
I need answers...I need to move away from him...my kids are in their mid 30s....so I'm alone..with him... it's been 12 yrs and we haven't spoke in 6 months...I have 2 dogs..a car...no money..
Very helpful, thank you 💘
My partner has put me in debt with the tax only found out this year can’t leave her because that debt has my name on it I really dislike her for she’s making payments for the debt but i just can’t forgive her
Missing the kids is the thing I can’t get past. Or feeling like a failure for even wanting to separate. But I’m so unhappy and think of leaving everyday. Until I see my daughter smile. And I get stuck. Ughhhhh. What to do.
Your daughter needs a role model who can be strong.
Trust God❤ He wants you to live an abundant life and He wants you to be happy💞
@@caleykenny her daughter needs her mom happy, strong isn't necessarily something to be proud of, it just means you've made a bunch of bad choices and had to overcome a lot.
This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you!
PLEASE I NEED HELP With MY DIVORCE because MY husband LEAVE FOR 4yRS GIVE HIM A GREEN CART SOON THE GREEN CART HE ME PLEASE HELP
You talked for the first 5,6 ,7 minutes about nothing...... title is misleading
My credit so messed up I can't get an apartment in my name. I tried... I really don't want to move back in with my mom, but I might have to bc I'm not happy in my marriage at all.
Keep searching, keep trying look for ways. What about a caretaker, or rental home? Move in with a roommate? Many can’t afford there living. Humm what else? What about elderly care, or live in nannying? Keep trying and be creative, industrious!! Your Strong 💪🏻 smart and deserves GOOD 🌷
@MrsBapi If you and your mom get along well and she’s successful you’re very fortunate to have that option. Not forever just a while until you get on your feet. Choose your happiness because eventually being unhappy weigh us down and we shouldn’t be in negative states for years. Best of wishes to you on your journey ❤️
I need money to leave, or my kids don't have somewhere to go, I also don't have others to go to.
Exactly.
Inbox me
My kids are grown but I too have nowhere to go
@@evelynkhan2921 No inbox option on UA-cam.
Same I been with my husband for 28 years have no friends or family. Hes always controled everything and now I am older I want out
I checked out the price of divorce. Yikes!
Is this video meant to be a cruel joke?
This man is talking a lot but he is not saying anything.
Nothing that I need.
He is trying to put all the blame on me for a situation he knows nothing about.
Where is the help?!
Where is the information about how to leave with no money?!!
I have ff a bunch of times but he is still talking bs.
I haven’t finished watching this yet, but I in a situation where my spouse has become so controlling and cruel. He has put restrictions on me and is now even controlling my medication I’ve been taking for over five years
Luckily I haven’t had any children, but my bonus daughter will be so devastated. She’s 9. I’m very good friends with her mom so I will always be in her life, but it breaks my heart
My vehicle isn’t in my name; it’s in his, but my name is on the deed of our house, as well as his, so I’m hoping I can use that as a bargaining chip for my car. Our 3 year wedding anniversary is coming up, and his birthday, so I’m going to have to fake it for a few months until I can financially leave
Do as much research as you can & get all the assets you can & be strong enough to leave immediately.
Im staying in my marriage to get money to leave as I dont have a job no outside money. Its so sad there isnt any housing for people that have no money to get back on there feet & get out of marriage s that are mentally, physically, not good.
I have share investments with my partner . I could not get help by the government because of the investments we have . If I touch this money , my partner will abuse me .
Call the domestic violence hotline they’ll give you guidance
Anyone: What did you do to move some money aside to help you set up to leave? What can someone do when he’s so controlling? No confidence.
I read a comment somewhere that a woman bought a gift card each time she went to do the groceries and stashed them away for a year to help her escape. Try putting left over change away in a money box and tell him it’s for the kids at Christmas or any excuse if he sees that. Any little money will do as it will add up. You have to think creatively. Can you sell anything of yours while he is at work. Have a garage sale of stuff you made like crafts. Take up crafts or something but don’t tell him it’s for selling. Most of them don’t care about your hobbies. You have to be stealthy. Maybe get a friend to do a go fund me or do one yourself under another name. Starting entering free competitions to win money. C’mon ladies, we got this! Believe in yourself! You matter 🥰✨good luck!
Oops, just realised this was 3 yrs ago. How are you going? Did you get out?
We are indeed accountable for our lives !If I could raise $500 I believe I will be on a right track to get me out move on and start myself with my fashion and designing.🙏
This life isnt worth it. I want out of this life.
I thunk that a marriage is sacred and if a woman and a man and understand the principles of this and not become selfish and understand that some of their dreams that they've always had man and woman has now been joined in one this is very important morals are very important love conquers all things
I agree ❤️
Exhausting.
Not sure what your response means :-) but I am curious about your business? Butterfly Must Fly? My wife and I own and run a treatment center for teen girls and our logo is a butterfly and we often talk about transformation and the analogy of butterflies flying. I am interested in what you do?
I need help please want to get out but need a place to go any suggestions
This didn't help at all. No solid plans contact...steps to take to get a divorce. Just talking like a psychologist/therapist. I need real solid help ways to take action. The title was "how to leave a marriage with no money" very misleading.
You’re so sweet. You getting choked up when you think of folks mustering up the strength to ask for help, just to be denied & then them internalizing that really touches me.
You’re in the right ministry.
The world needs more true & tender hearts.👍🏼
Jeff
Are You Heartbroken? Don’t be upset, let Awimayehun Spell Caster help you get your Ex back” I was married for 5 years with 2 kids and i have been living happily with my family until things started getting ugly with me and my husband that leads us to fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that my husband filed for divorce… I tried my best to make him change his mind & stay with me cause i loved him with all my heart and didn’t want to loose my husband but everything just didn’t work out… He moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster called Awimayehun Spell Caster, Who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try it because I was desperate and left with no choice… He did the spell for me and things really work out as he promise and my husband have a change of mind and come back home to stay with me and the kids. And promise never to hurt me again. we are living happily as it was with the help of Awimayehun Spell Caster. If you are in need of help you can reach him through his Facebook page link below by clicking on the link facebook.com/Awimayehun-Spell-Caster-102701668485181/
Toxic advice in my opinion, money does matter especially if you have children depending on you.
Money doesnt exsist.] what waffle. Thanks for wasting my time. NEXT TIME GET SOME REAL PRACTICAL ADVISE. annoying as hell.
Sorry you didn’t find the information in the video helpful. I wish you success in finding the answers you are looking for!
Completely agree
Thank you so much. I am leaving a marriage of 7 years. My husband started into an emotional affair (to be honest I'd be surprised if it weren't more). So now you have helped me reform my beliefs about myself and my ability to be independent. I've been financially dependent on my spouse all this time and I can leave and be ok.
Define "emotional affair".
@@jimlong2469 Google it