Jonathan here, inviting you to check out Mended Light, my new channel dedicated to healthy relationships and trauma healing, as referenced in this episode. Please subscribe if you find it helpful! ua-cam.com/channels/AicfSzczJb_-nK6tW0TxHw.html
Okay so I know your channel has been booming lately, and rightfully so because your content is amazing and the chemistry between you is the best. But now that you're discussing Marvel, especially if you include Thor's despression, Wanda's grief and Bucky's guilt, it's gonna grow massively. That Marvel audience is massive
Thank you for doing this! As a Marvel fan and trauma survivor, I loved this episode! Though, I'd say that my PTSD manifested more like Thor (not going out, avoiding people, questioning if I was still worthy etc), not Iron Man (though I recognize not wanting to talk to people and the panic). Will definitely check your new channel out. Keep up the good work!
Tony grabbing the snow during his PTSD episode is actually a real coping mechanism! It's grounding, using your senses to bring you back to reality and remind you the PTSD/anxiety attack isn't real
Thanks for pointing this out! There was that second moment where he's having another panic attack. Sitting on the ground and grabbing onto the car's door handle trying to ground himself back as he tries to calm down. Wow never noticed these things, nice observation
And the cold itself helps interrupt the nervous system's overstimulated reaction. In a pinch, running cold water over your hands can help a lot, if you can manage that complex an action or can pre-plan it into your crisis plans with your support network.
I really wish more people paid attention to the fact that Tony didn't actually start dating Pepper until after she was CEO and no longer his employee. He always thought of her as an equal but there was no question of a power imbalance in their relationship, which is so important.
@@hanakoskokeshidoll it sounds worse then it is but it makes sense if your around fighting couples alot if one side can just rely on the other its better for everyone fights start because of money
@Rose Dreamsinger 8 month old comment but it's not as simple as you think (as everything ultimately never is) Why would a woman settle for less when she can have something better? If the man doesn't earn as much and isn't as smart then it makes sense that she would find someone better. I bet there are numerous other variables and perspectives on top of that.
Iron Man 3 was not well received (even I admit it’s not in my top list of MCU films) but one article I read really angered me, because the reviewer, who if I recall correctly, admitted to not being a therapist, but said something along the lines of “that’s not how PTSD works.” As someone who is not a therapist but does suffer from PTSD, the way RDJ acted out his panic attacks was very similar to the way mine would hit me at times, most often without warning. So yeah, that is in fact, how PTSD can “work.”
AS an artist, I can say that bursts of consuming creativity really override anxiety, which is why Tony had so many suits and had to "tinker" in order to better control his surroundings. I may not have PTSD, but I completely understand Tony Starks creativity motivations. I enjoyed the movie and enjoyed the characters growth and acceptance.
I actually really like IM3 and one of the reasons is the portayal of mental health issues. That reviewer also really doesn't know anything about since it was even used as an example of a realistic depiction of PTSD in a psych textbook.
I think IM3 was kinda weak in regards to villains/fights, but at least to me, that's not really what the movie was about. The most common complaint I saw was that "we want to see Iron Man kick some ass, not see Tony Stark struggle" and that bothered me SO much, because what makes the MCU so good *is* that the characters are more than just some bland cardboard cutouts used as vehicles for pure action.
I think the reason the kid saying "you're a mechanic, right?" helps tony calm down almost instantly is because that's always been his happy place and how he escapes hard things. It's how he gains control. The kid basically took him from a place where he feels he has no control and reminded him that he does have *some* control and I think that can be super calming
Totally agreed. The kid should be a freaking therapist. He handled Tony’s PTSD perfectly. I also like that he had Jarvis to tell him that his vitals were normal and he was probably having a panic attack. When I had bad anxiety early on in college it took months and a doctor’s appointment or two for me to get that type of reassurance.
It's more so what he says after that, "Why don't you build something?" Even in the first movie, before he goes to Afghanistan to show off his Jericho missiles, he's several hours late because he's tinkering with a motorcycle. He built a circuit board as a toddler. He loves creating things, and creating things has saved his life several times. That's probably what calmed him down, knowing that he can just build something to deal with the problem.
21:37 "The wheezes are so realistic" Yes! Little detail that impressed me. As someone who has asthma and panic attacks, it was surprisingly...comforting?...to see a panic attack in a movie that didn't sound like an asthma attack. At least for me, they are very different.
I thought it was interesting because mine are usually very closely linked. I have asthma which can send me into an anxiety attack which of course worsens my asthma. So, I've never really been able to tell the difference. Like I know the difference from which starts but once Im in the spiral I cant tell which is which.
I have exercise-induced asthma and general anxiety disorder, but I didn't find out about the asthma until later. However, I would have panic attacks due to not being able to breathe, and I thought the not breathing was due to the panic. Once I got the inhaler, I figured out that if I can't breathe I can just use the inhaler and suddenly my panic about breathing diminished a lot, even when I didn't use the inhaler. Just the knowledge that I could made it easier to deal with. Also, the difference that I feel between having a panic attack and having an asthma attack is that in a panic attack I feel like I can't suck in enough air through my throat, while in an asthma attack I feel like my lungs are full of woodchips. So if I feel woodchips I get the inhaler but if I don't feel woodchips then I do a grounding technique.
I remember before I realized I was experiencing panic attacks, I thought that I was having asthma attacks again like when I was a kid; I still had an inhaler as a just-in-case thing, so I tried using it and of course found it didn't help at all. Some time later I realized oh, these are panic attacks. No wonder the inhaler didn't do anything
Pepper was the first consistent person in Tony's life, most likely since his mother. Tony was afraid of commitment because commitment implicitly comes with the risk of loss. Pepper persistently showed Tony love and compassion that he had been avoiding. He was only able to experience it because his guard was down due to her job title, but Pepper cared about Tony beyond her job due to her compassion and humanity. Pepper was the first person Tony felt he needed since his defense mechanisms were established. He couldn't help but fall for Pepper because he got a taste of the one thing he needed, and for that reason, he couldn't lose it, and more importantly, her.
Which is why I guess by the time they show us Maria Stark in Civil War, turns out she actually looks a lot like Pepper. And the fact that he and Pepper are in a rough patch while all these external events are forcing him to re-live the trauma of losing his mother is so important that the movie sets up the two things back to back when it introduces Tony, right before giving us the "official" motivation for his actions.
Although I agree with all this, we also shouldn’t forget Rhodes! He was basically the BFF/older brother he never had, except... he wasn’t around nearly as much with his job and all...
You also have Jarvis It wasn't just the name of his AI, but also the name of his father's butler. I would imagine he had enough of an impact on Tony where he felt the need to name the system after him.
@@melindoranightsilver9298 Yes, absolutely, him and Rhodey I felt were responsible for his upbringing to be honest. XD (Especially in the post-uni/accident years.) I don't think the loss of Jarvis in AoU is nearly recognized enough within the canon verse.
@@natalies8498 YES!! I don’t think people really appreciate just how gut wrenching losing JARVIS was to Tony, JARVIS was the one thing he thought he wouldn’t lose, and he did. His rock, his fail safe, his omniscient and ever present guardian and butler. He already lost his first, human one, so he built another that would never die, but he did, and I’m not sure if the movies portrayed his reaction to that as well as they could have. They sort of sweep it under the rug almost. Granted, a bunch of shit is going on at the moment, but still, heartbreak and trauma waits for no one.
So two things from the Avengers scene that indicate Tony's really stinging from Cap's comment: 1) he breaks eye contact for like a fraction of a second. 2) the first part of his response, his voice is noticeably strained. By The Avengers, Tony really wants to think of himself as a good man, but Cap just cuts his legs out from underneath him with that comment
The only thing though is Cap is completely wrong about Tony in that scene. Both Tony and Cap don't actually know each other, they're speaking based on assumptions and reputations. Tony was willing to make the sacrifice play at the end of Ironman 1. He tells pepper to turn on the arch reactor while he was still in the way. He just happened to get pushed back to safety because of plot armor.
@@captainmarvelous7678 THANK YOU! I’m so tired of no one recognizing that Cap was incorrect and kinda being a big douche nugget in that scene. He doesn’t know who Tony *is*, only what he’s heard of him and feels totally free to make assumptions off of very little fact. And while obviously Cap views “sacrifice play” as this uber righteous, life-on-the-line move, I feel like in reality, sacrifices can come in many forms. Even him immediately planning on gutting his fathers long-standing work in weapons manufacturing because he saw what it was doing in the world is a sacrifice play. He was willing to lose his entire livelihood and undo the work of a man he’s spent his entire life battling for the respect of because it was better for humanity. A sacrifice play defend the other guys.
@@MothmanInHisChibiEra I think cinemawins had a great comment on this. We see the tesseract has a kind of antagonistic effect on everyone, it makes those emotions bubble and fester, if you notice, there is a Dutch tilt on thor and he's slurring his speech like he's had one too many drinks. It brings out their frustration and anger which makes sense because they aren't really a team just yet.
honestly tony stark was one of the only characters with that kind of personality in action movies that showed realistic symptoms of ptsd and anxiety (like that panic attack) and oh boy, iron man 3 really hits hard on that domain
Agreed! I don't know if this was true or not but apparently RDJ really pushed for IM3 because Marvel was initially iffy about it and didn't want to 'weaken' Tony and showing different sides of him but Robert really wanted to show the toll these superhero lives can take dealing with the shit that they do and that Tony isn't a supersoldier or God and there's a real person bleeding and hitting the ground in these battles and felt the need to explore that. If that's true, I'm super grateful he did.
@@jfox8600 I mean, if anything it strengthened his image as an absolute survivor, fighting the odds even when everything is going against him, even his own subconscious, and most importantly, he ends up winning against it all.
I'd argue that Tony's been dealing with PTSD since he got out of the cave. Everything he's done since has been on his own terms 100%, he was seizing control and he was protecting himself as much as possible. But the nuke/wormhole/sudden unexpected alien invasion combo was on a whole other level.
That’s my theory, too. I think he had a milder case of PTSD ever since he was kidnapped and got the shrapnel in his chest. I think he also has a severe case of survivor’s guilt after watching multiple people who tried to protect him (first all those soldiers who were assigned to guard him on his way to and from his missile test, and then Yinsen) die horrible deaths. He’s clearly struggling with his mental health throughout the whole series.
One scene I think they missed in this was the scene where he throws himself into his work. He's got the PTSD and the insomnia so to cope he builds suit after suit after suit. I think it's a fascinating coping mechanism and so in line with Tony's character. He's already handed off management of the company and the title of CEO to Pepper so all he has left is his personal lab and his suit building. Ironically, some of his best innovations for his suits come out of it but the cost to his psyche, relationship with Pepper and physical health is super high.
There's another video that analyses this with the notion that Tony is building these suits which are specialised, fragile and disposable because after New York he realises he might not be enough. What if there's a falling building? What if a mission requires stealth and he doesn't have Natasha or Hawkeye with him? So he builds a suit for every scenario imaginable, and Mark 42 is the penultimate being a suit and can be summoned at will and apparently can also respond to panicked sounds because it walked into his room when he was having PTSD nightmares and accidentally summoned it. It's basically a paranoia induced engineering mania. He builds a suit made for assisting construction, and then he thinks "what if the building collapses?" And builds a suit that can hold big structures (Igor), and then he thinks "What if the Hulk goes berserk?" And he builds Hulkbuster. So on and so forth. Every time he finishes a suit, he realised he didn't think of yet another scenario. He wants to cover his bases as much as possible, and every time he thinks he has it covered he realises he missed one, and another, and another. If he didn't recover from the PTSD he would have build possibly over hundreds of suits specialised to every scenario possible
This is why Tony is my favorite. I have always argued that he was the most human of all the avengers, which people don’t agree with me about. This video helps show what I have been saying for the longest time.
The other thing about that scene when Tony is watching the news and starts blasting things in the room: It's interesting that they chose the glass walls, because glass naturally makes a reflection. Tony sees his reflection when he turns around, and because he hates who he was, he blasts away the image, that person he wishes to put behind him. And while he does still exhibit a certain amount of egotistical behavior after everything in Iron Man 1, putting distance between himself and his old life does actually play a role in his ptsd - it's half the reason he eventually turns to relying on his suits instead of relying on himself. The incident in New York is the other half of the picture, when no matter what he does, he has no way out. In effect, it teaches him that he can't rely on himself to save himself or anyone else. Combine that with guilt and self hatred, and you get the Tony who searches for something else to rely on. The kid saying "just the right thing" snaps him back to reality a bit, I think because Tony made that mental transition without even thinking about it. He was so lost in his panic and anxiety that he didn't even realize that he was putting all his trust into a suit instead of the ingenuity behind the creation of that suit. In the end, half his struggle through ptsd is also a hard lesson in humility. His pride and ego had been broken, and he didn't know what to do with himself because he relied on that for so long. After all of these events, he learns to reexamine and accept the good parts that he had, but in a different light. It really sets the stage for him in the upcoming movies, especially Civil War, because his ego would never let him accept the Secovia accords, but a humbled Tony Stark (who also learns after Avengers 2 that he doesn't always make good decisions even as a reformed man) would.
That is a really good insight and I love how these movies put light on these things and actually make it so deep. Your right in what you said and it's good.
Oh my god... This just made me realize why Tony never called Cap in those two years. Like in AoU he tried relying on his tech AGAIN, because he felt like and the Avengers won't be enough due to the recent trigger he experienced from Wanda's magic. He asked them "How are we going to fight that?" Cap says "Together." Tony takes that reassurance that they'll have his back, that he could rely on them. But then CACW comes along, turns out Cap had lied to him, most of the Avengers went with Cap, and Tony... Tony more or less ended up alone dealing with the impending doom from the future haunting him. Like, if Cap lied to him about his parents, what else did he lie about? Did he lie about the Avenger's being his home? Did he also lie that Tony could rely on him? He probably questioned himself of those. While I understand some of the conflict in CW is partially Tony's fault (and Cap is also partially at fault), that act... Well, it probably did some untold emotional damage to Tony, I think.
I love this comment for the way that it describes anxiously grasping for *something* you can trust and hold onto, so you know things will be okay--and the anxious vulnerability and dependence you experience when that thing/person that you trust can't be you. When Tony's suit fails, he loses the hope he placed all his security in, the future becomes extremely dark and unavoidable, and he has a panic attack. When the kid points out that there might still be a way for things to be okay and that there are still ways he can trust himself, I think those are beautiful, powerful messages (conveyed so innocently) to combat his fear. I also love that the kid gave him those messages through a question. It wasn't "I believe in you," or "you can do it!" or some other phrasing that inadvertently would have required Tony to choose blind confidence or to trust a child's judgment instead of his own. By asking a question, he opened the idea that the "secure" solution might not be the only way forward, and he inadvertently invited Tony to fill in the blanks for "how?" with something he could believe in. It was both showing Tony how to hope, and increasing Tony's ability to trust himself at the same time. I love that.
As someone with PTSD/anxiety, I've been in crisis situations where I could pull it together because someone around me was in crisis. After they didn't need me, I'd fall apart, but when THEY needed me, I could do it. I can't necessarily do it for myself, but I can for others, if that makes any sense.
Not trying to compare to PTSD, but honestly, this is how my wife and I got through the early years with a newborn. When she was going nuts, I felt calm. We were never both going nuts at the same time.
I have exactly the same thing, my mom had to go to the hospital suddenly in an ambulance 3 times just this year alone and I refuse to cry infront of her.
In Spider-Man homecoming he even tells Peter he’s proud of him because he wants to break the cycle of fathers not telling their sons they’re proud of them
crying because tony was really more than a mentor for peter, and we barely saw their interactions together before they had to kill tony off. this is why i squirrel myself away with some good fanfiction, sometimes...
@@nebullae Denial is such a wonderful place, right? I live there, and "Endgame" doesn't exist in it. (Mostly, though, because it infuriates me with how it was written. I could live with Tony dying - but not with that amount of cheese they topped it with. Not to mention me ranting about the Cap-ending, and now I'm ranting again and I'll be back in Denial shortly. Sorry for this. Have a good day :-)
@@frizzlethecat2084 hah i was surprised to see my year-old comment but it still stands, lol. i agree completely- i understand why they ended tony’s arc with his heroic death, but everything else was… unsatisfactory to say the least. but i also don’t want to get myself started because then i won’t be able to stop 💀
Tony was such a gem in the superhero movie world. He actually got hurt physically from fights, and paid emotionally and mentally as well. So few heroes have that realistic, human weight. Also, sadly realistic is how everyone, even his friends, either don't notice his struggles or don't know how to react to it in helpful ways.
I would disagree with Tony’s lightbulb moment “fixing” his attack. I have had these situations where I am in a full blown panic mode, usually triggered by helplessness in the same way tony feels helpless without his suit. He can’t force the suit to charge so he feels under pressure without a play, until the kid points out he’s not entirely helpless. He takes a few moments to process while ignoring whatever else is being said, and refocuses his thoughts to solving the problem. His (and my) adrenaline is still flowing and his heart rate is still elevated, but it’s come down from even 20 seconds ago. At least for me, panic attacks don’t stop like a brake pedal, they recede back to baseline anxiety like taking your foot off the gas.
Last year, I took an Abnormal Psychology class and one of our assignments was to write a paper diagnosing two fiction characters from either movies or TV. I chose to do Tony Stark from the MCU and I diagnosed him with PTSD. It was one of my favorite papers to write.
Peter and Tony's relationship feels like a tangified representation of inner child healing, but instead of Tony imagining talking with his inner child, he talks to Peter, whom he has watched begin to experience the same trauma he did. As a PTSD survivor, I can imagine the desperation.
Tony Stark’s character isn’t a narcissist-he is behaving narcissistically. People with NPD do not feel remorse for their behaviour, nor do they change to become genuinely altruistic.
I love the Cinema Therapy guys but calling Tony NPD ignores too much of his backstory and deeper moments. I feel like if you have to say “unlike most narcissists, Tony does …” that many times, he’s not a narcissist in a clinical sense. Not to mention, all of my psychology studies in school made a massive point of not diagnosing a disorder when there can be alternative motivations which with Tony, there absolutely is when you factor in his father, his upbringing, his lifestyle, etc.
@@MothmanInHisChibiEra I agree! Within the first five minutes of Iron Man, we see him fail to show up for an award ceremony celebrating his accomplishments. Surely a narcissist would enjoy something like that but Tony clearly doesn't. He only feels bad about missing it when he learns Rhodey, his best friend, was gonna give it to him. I think he's always held a deep feeling of self-loathing due to his childhood and how his father treated him, and uses this mask of ego and narcissism to cover it.
I felt bad disagreeing with an actual therapist, but I was like "Isn't part of the point of a narcissist that they have no thoughts or feelings that would allow change?"
@@mage1439 It's totally fine to disagree with someone! Therapists themselves disagree with each other all the time. It's also worth noting that they probably haven't watched the Iron Man movies a million times like myself and others have. They're just looking at clips here.
I think personally from suffering from PTSD & growing up with having numerous panic/anxiety attacks a week, one of things that hit me from that scene with the kid talking to Tony over the phone, is that the kid unintentionally was guiding him in “grounding”. “Grounding” is a technique that’s used to help a person during an attack, by attaching themselves to a truth or something stable, whether that be physically (like holding onto a stone or feeling the textures of the carpet) or mentally (grasping onto a truth or repeating a mantra). And I think that both forms of “grounding” is what the kid was implying; first telling Tony, “you’re a mechanic, build something” is a truth. Tony knows that building things is something he’s good at, something he’s familiar with & this makes him feel in control & safe. The second, is that being a mechanic requires you to work with your hands, get dirty, do physically hard things, & work your body. There’s no better physical grounding tool than that! Maybe with that combo is what kinda “snapped” Tony out of his PTSD but I agree with them, in that no one “snaps” out of an anxiety or panic attack. It usually takes me a good day & a half to fully recover from an anxiety attack & about 40 mins to recover from a panic attack. And even then I can relapse & have another one. But grounding has been so helpful to me & I encourage anyone else who struggles with panic & anxiety attacks to find what grounding method works for you!
Comments like this are why I love this channel. I have anxiety but never experienced PTSD. Thanks for sharing, I think "grounding" might help me as well
@Leide Keine Dummköpfe "Psychological trauma is damage to a person's mind as a result of one or more events that cause overwhelming amounts of stress that exceed the person's ability to cope or integrate the emotions involved, eventually leading to serious, long-term negative consequences." -- it's not 'exclusive' to military or law enforcement (mental/physical abuse, childhood trauma, violence, heavy bullying etc.) -- it can happen to anyone, many men probably tend to talk less about it or don't seek the help of s.o. who can diagnose it. Also, don't ask what s.o.'s PTSD is from, it's a very private matter! The worst you can do is tell them they don't have it because they weren't in the military or sth.
RDJ really did such an amazing job at portraying PTSD and the panic attacks following. I personally have some issues with that because of a brother and my family keeps mentioning him even though I always beg them not to and it immediately makes me break down, just like Tony. Suddenly it just becomes so difficult to do simple things like breathing and thinking straight, everything in your head is just filled with painful memories.
I was watching just fine, then he said "weather you've been through emotional abuse, Physical abuse" and in an instant I started tearing up. My ex gf became physically violent during the worst argument we'd ever had, it was only one time, it didn't physically hurt much, but every once in a while I remember the shear emotional stress I felt in that moment, and I will sob for about a minute before bottling it back up. What gets me most is the shame I feel about crying about something that happened over a year ago...
Emotional scar hurts more since it can last for very long time, even to lifetime. Even if you forgive the person who hurted you, the act still lingering and haunting you everytime. And I really resonate with that
What I hate about PTSD and post trauma responses is the triggers can be so random and often unexpected. My third, and last miscarriage was the most traumatic and of course, baby announcements, baby clothes, and baby associated things were major triggers. But I didn't expect raspberries to be a trigger. It took quite a while until we figured that one out. Baby had been the size of a raspberry when my husband had tossed a wild raspberry to me on a nature walk we went on. I failed to catch the raspberry and I can vividly remember the juice splattered on the rocks and a weird feeling of dread at that. I still don't like raspberries much, but I can look at them and walk past them in a grocery store now without feeling nausea or a cold sweat or breathing too quickly.
Hey, one of my triggers is spoons, you know, that utensil you eat with? Sometimes I know why (I know why in the case of spoons and red polo shirts and the phrase “it is what it is”) and sometimes I don’t (in the case of driving anywhere except the tiny town I’ve lived in for ten+ years, like, what’s up with that? You’d think it’d be the other way around, right, since most of my trauma happened here? Whatever I guess). It’s just what your brain focuses on in those memories and sometimes it’s super frustrating bc it’s something really common and you can’t avoid it. What I’m trying to say is, I understand what you’re saying and I want to validate you bc I know that it sucks
@Leide Keine Dummköpfe After the birth of my first living child I had postpartum depression. After my third miscarriage it was different. My doctor informed me that I just had regular old depression now. I also suffered from a missed miscarriage for the last one which meant that baby died at 9 weeks but I didn't find out until 12 weeks. The process wasn't finished until almost a month later. With my other losses, it was around the 6 week mark, (basically a few days after the positive test), so I thought that at nearly 12 weeks I was "safe". That came crumbling down after I found our baby has died and we hadn't known until we couldn't find a heartbeat.
@Leide Keine Dummköpfe My first two miscarriages weren't as bad as the last one where I thought the risk was over. The fact that I thought we were no longer at risk and that it took a very long time and many medical appointments was what made it a bad traumatic experience.
You know there was a fan theory that Peter Parker was the only person able to feel what happened to him during the snap because of his Spidey sense. That just makes it 10x worse because he’s looking at the dad he has always wanted and saying I need your help, and Tony can’t do anything to save him.
Agh, that scene is horrible. Not just Peter's blip, but Tony's reaction. He just sits there, eyes closed and rocks himself back and forth. So vulnerable.
There's something I think you guys missed at about 5:50. Tony looked at his reflection in the glass, flashed anger and disgust, then shot his own reflection, not just once but three times.
I got weird looks from people who didn’t know about my PTSD (they were joking about IVs and then I suddenly got anxious and they wondered why. I just said something along the lines of “I have bad memories of stuff like that” and they seemed to understand a lil, but that was still embarrassing.)
I was having an attack after a difficult conversation with my family. I was in a ward to be helped for those issues. After about 1.5 minutes of panicked SI, my care giver just casually asked “did you know people’s shoes stay where they where hit when they get run over by a car?” And it was the exact right morbid wtf kind of question that I was able to stop and start seeing the real world around me again. That’s why I think it’s so important to have people around you who know that one thing your brain will hook on to if you deal with a mental illness like us.
Exactly, though I don’t think that question would’ve helped me 😂 too morbid for my taste 😆 but I’ll admit it is interesting! I might start telling people to have me name an episode of the Goldbergs from a random season off hand or something. That usually gets me to think. 😆
I just love that scene in Avengers with Tony and Steve. Both their dialogue foreshadows what is to come for them both AND they prove each other wrong. “You’re not the one to make the sacrifice play.” And “everything special about you came out of a bottle.” Tony makes the ultimate sacrifice in Endgame and Steve is able to wield Mjölnir. So good!!!!
@Joshua Kelly lifting the hammer has nothing to do with physical strength! You could be the strongest person ever and still not be worthy, just like Thor wasn’t worthy for a time. That’s the whole point; all the things that make Steve worthy are things that he already had before the serum! Steve isn’t only special because of the serum. He got picked because of the traits he already had. Steve was “not a perfect soldier, but a good man.”
@Joshua Kelly i just wanna say, i understood what you meant, and i think that Steve would've struggled. Even with the enchantment, the hammer is described to have weight. Vision himself said the weight of the hammer is "terribly well balanced". Judging by the size of the hammer, it's definitely heavier than a regular hammer you'd use for a nail. I'd definitely think he'd struggle to swing that thing around with his old body that's basically just walking bones.
I hope they look at Zuko in Avatar. I feel like everytime I rewatch ATLA I become more and more impressed with his character arc. With misplaced desires (like regaining his honor was about being accepted by his father), to learning about the world from different perspectives (as a prince then an outlaw), to the cathartic confrontation with his father and deciding not to seize power. I just feel like the whole show has a lot going on but especially with Zuko.
If you want to cover PTSD more, I recommend that you analyze the character of John Rambo. If there were ever a character driven by traumatic experiences, it was him.
I got diagnosed with PTSD and General Depression a few years ago due to growing up in an abusive household. (don't worry, i'm in a much better place now) Nothing made Tony feel more real than Iron Man 3. I know people have problems with the movie, but seeing someone like Iron Man experience what you're so familiar with and seeing it portrayed so well gave me hope for reducing the stigma of mental health discussions. This channel alone is such a great force for mental health conversations, and I'm so, so glad you guys are addressing Tony's issues. Thank you for putting these videos out
@Leide Keine Dummköpfe Sir, I would invite you to deal with these issues with a therapist. I understand that projection is a defense mechanism, but it's not my job to make you feel better about yourself. Please leave me alone.
I love the scene where tony is watching the news and getting more worked up. To me this is the pivotal scene where he finally decides to be a hero. building the suit, testing, etc was all just prep work and that slow build up to using the repulser to shatter the glass....OMG CHILLS. because he goes from anger, to basically questioning himself one last time to commitment and the next part is him suiting up and just pure focus. LOVE IT
I'm so excited about this! Tony is one of the most beloved characters and definitely my favourite. What RDJ did with him and his emotional growth is phenomenal. Can't wait for this!
To be fair Tony ptsd isn't just gone after the 3rd movie, he learned to move on he do the operation to lift the metal on his chest but his ptsd is not completely gone, I think when pepper said "you can rest now" at the end signaling that he still has a ptsd even in endgame.
I always LOVED the PTSD story line of Iron Man 3 - it's the reason that it's my second-favourite Iron Man film - and I thought RDJ did an incredible job portraying his struggling character.
The line "PTSD occurs when you think your world is safe, and then you realize it's not" hit me like a truck but was also kinda validating at the same time. I've been diagnosed with C-PTSD (or complex PTSD) and one of the worst flashbacks I ever had involved me shaking and crying and only being able to say "I
I watched this movie when it came out. It was freshman year of highschool and I just started in a new state and was super nervous.. this ironically was around the time in my life I started to experience anxiety/panic attacks. I remember watching Tony go through this stuff and it made me feel so much more calm and ready to deal with my own issues. Later on, during that same movie in class, I stood up and physically got in-between two other students that were about to fight each other, and talked them down and convinced them to just watch the movie... despite my own issues with anxiety, this movie and seeing how he handled it gave me confidence to set my stuff aside and do the right thing. I like to think this movie got me through a large part of that year.
I remember watching this movie having gone through some trauma and having extream daily panic attack's. I appreciated the fact that Tony's pain, vulnerability fear is not romanticized but portrayed realistically. It was strangely cathartic to see a hero go through the same struggle as I did. Luckily I got help and guidance from a great therapist. Thx guys for another great video. I enjoy them tremendously and would advise to see the channel 'academy of ideas'.
I really love Tonys development as a character. It makes him one of my favorite superheroes~ Also him being a father-figure to Peter is my favorite relationship in the MCU!
Could you analyze Tony's character in the light of him potentially having ADHD?? It's a really common theory among marvel watchers who like psychology and the thought of Tony having ADHD is not only really neat because it's such a "small" mental disorder (in the sense most people underestimate it's effect) having such a Significant affect on his actions/thoughts as a person, but also it brings a lot of comfort to ADHD viewers seeing such a successful, awesome character potentially be coded to go through the exact same struggles they face mentally
As and ADHDer myself ALL THE YESES, it could be a nice follow up to elf aswell on how it would present in adults, seeing a few people talk about Tony with ADHD, was part of what made me realize, and help me accept my ADHD at 18, and now I got the diagnosis
I can totally see that! Witty, impulsive honesty, pure feelings, either positive or negative. He wants to do good but feels doomed to fail And the narcissism... I feel, is Tony trying to focus on his strengths instead of his obvious shortcomings. Grown ups seem to see this as narcissism or cynicism. Kids dont assume and therefore the kid asks, that shows tony isnt all that secure. When people dont accept sarcasm and snark for true answers it forces you to look inside.
I liked the comment about how Tony isn't like most narcissists. Because it's important to remember he's fiction & most people like him won't change & you can't fix them.
If you're gonna do one about Tony Stark and PTSD, then you gotta do one about Bucky and PTSD/trauma + making amends, especially in the new falcon winter soldier series!!!!
I really liked the cinematography of Stark staring at his reflection in the window before he 'kills' / blasts his old self image and commits to becoming Iron Man; so visual and in character for him.
I loved the portrayal of Tony's anxiety attack. I saw this after I started getting them and it was great to be able to point to this movie and say "that's what it's like", and also to feel that somebody understood. I just wish the scene didn't trigger sympathy attacks for me.
Thanks for the vid! I want all the Mavel-related content!!! I related to Tony as someone who is in a STEM-profession. He probs got PTSD because that was the first time he realized "I cannot engineer my way out of this." He could not, nor could he finesse the situation. A lot of the time, in STEM, or when you're regarded as the smartest person in the room, you need to be the one with the answers, and when you don't have them, it can be very foreboding. What he feels are all of his biggest strengths were not enough, now and for a long time. And he used to tinker to cope. When he reached a stage where he not anymore, that's when I realized that yeh... this has turned into a long-haul mental issue for him, and I'm happy they treated his entire journey over the series of films with care and respect. Thanks for talking about his growth from becoming a narcissisc, to egotist, to ... self-absorbed ... to dad. I will admit, he was not a fave of mine, and I had to take a second look at him for him to grow on me. A lot of peers around me liked him because of his "confidence" when I simply saw a lot of it as puffery, it was based on insecurity, and insecurity is a lot of what I feel drives narcissism. "Was Cap right?" They were two sides of the same coin, and they HAD to have that confrontation. It saved the world, because Tony was the one there that did end up making the sacrifice play in that film. And they lost in Infinity War becasue they were not on the same page metaphorically [or planet, literally]. They say in friend groups there are assumed roles, Tony and Cap had assumed the Mum and Dad role. Whenever they fought, my anxiety-triggering divorce hairs on my arms raised up. Civil War was difficul to look at, in a good way because of that. And when they reconciled in Endgame, I started crying.
Alan: "Ah, geez, you had to show that one." Me: nods in agreement with tears running down my face. This was an excellent commentary, can't wait for part two!
So glad you all covered Tony Stark! I love it when people react to different marvel characters and determine if they have real symptoms or if it's overdramatic for the case of the movie. I'd like to recommend anything Loki related because it covers a different side of trauma in my eyes, unwanted by a parent, wanting to prove himself, and in turn becoming what he feared deep down
21:24 I have a notebook with things i wrote down for me to read, in case i feel not good or not like myself. There are like 10 things on the first page, but the first things reads "You are the programmer." That almost always enough to instantly calm me down. I can fully 100% relate to tony stark, getting out of his attack when the kid reminds him that he is a mechanic and he can build something.
Seeing Tony struggle and still live, be loved and still be him really helped me at that point in my life. Tony Stark is a character near and dear to my heart💕
18:13 Tony puts ice cold snow on his face and eyes. Cold & wet on the face & eyes can help to calm down overwhelming emotions. It doesn't totally stop them, but it can take them down just a notch and help you think just a little bit more clearly. I didn't know this until I learned about DBT and what it calls STOP & TIPP.
As you guys mentioned PTSD never goes away easily so it makes since that it seems to keep having linger effects on his actions for the rest of the series. He ultimately still has anxiety.
My husband and I were both deployed, and when we have "bad brain days/moments" we tend to insult each other to break tension and break the mood. literally the only time that we speak poorly to each other and we know that love is behind it.
I really liked this movie because that same panic response, I have all the time. Back in high school if I thought about a class or a project, I would break down, couldn't breathe, crying, everything. No one around me understood it. No one believed me that I couldn't control it. This movie helped people understand. Now that I'm older I still have attacks around large emotions like break ups, loss, guilt, ect. I was diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder and depression at 14. I'm 22 now and Borderline Personality disorder is being looked into.
Ooh it would be awesome to know your take on the father-son relationship in another Robert Downey Jr movie called "The Judge" it was so relatabe to see a strained parent-child relationship personally
I did a whole research essay when I was 15 on him (my poor baby) He's just so complicated and so intricate (or whatever the word is) and a lot of that is because he puts up this façade after he has his eyes opened. He still acts the way he did because he knows nobody will really believe him if he acts any different. And part of it also might be that he can't really act any different. ALSO - with that like scene where he hits the glass before going to Gulmira - someone said it was a symbolism for shooting himself because he's shooting his reflection. And also also - part of the reason why he talks his way out of things and pushes through - part of it is because he doesn't want anyone hurt. To him, it doesn't matter if he's hurt, so long as no one else his, he's fine. And then yea plus there's him liking the idea of showing off his smarts. OKAY IM2 META - that scene where he lands in the Stark Expo and then talks, which is actually 14:55 - remember - that entire scene, he's literally _dying._ Him being excited and smiling and landing in the suit, coming out of the suit, talking and whatever is all apart of his façade - he's literally not enjoying it because he's _dying._ Honestly, a lot of things in im2 are a façade and an act he puts on because again - _he's DYING._ He's preparing for his death by getting Pepper to be CEO and even planning out for Rhodey to take the suit. He knows the arc reactor is slowly killing him so he's planned it out because he has nothing. So actually...I wouldn't say the wormhole is the first time it happens - it's the quickest and definitely the most profound for him, but he definitely felt like he could die because he ran out of ideas of how to save himself. That's what that conversation with Fury is - he doesn't know how to save himself in im2 until he saw that project from the Expo in Pepper's office. and then also the im3 thing, the way Tony is reacting is also just....really Tony. His reaction to PTSD and his anxiety so yea - exactly what Johnathan said. And that entire movie (im3) is just so aurgh. I hurt I hurt. And honestly it is interesting because yea trauma recovery just...does _not_ exist in the mcu (until like...tfaws) but it still hurts oof. Also...he is a little scared of being a dad because ah...he had a pretty neglectful father. So there's this feeling of I want to be a dad (for Harley, for Peter, for Morgan) but he's still scared about it because he didn't have a great dad. Anyways I could literally talk for hours about him but I'm not because that would be a lot. So yeah...carry on I'm also going to nonstop petition for a tfaws review because.....*deep breath* bucky ptsd and sam being an empathetic cap
Ever since I found this channel , movies have not been just movies for me anymore. I love what you guys do, I cry all the times. I want to be a therapist despite me studying computing right now. There are a lot of people around me that I want I can help myself included.
Tony is my personal hero. I have an anxiety disorder and have had it for eleven years. Seeing a hero with a similar disorder, go about his day, kick butt, and keep his cool even with his disorder... Gave me power and hope.
I feel a similar way with him and my ADHD, while it’s not canon, he shows a lot of the signs of having ADHD, and it’s so nice to see ADHD in a not silly childish way, but as an adult is likely to experience and present with it.
So awesome to see you talk about this with an awesome character that so many like. I would love to see you talk about Bucky Barnes (Winter Soldier) and how he deals with his PTSD and trauma as it’s a little different from Tony Stark. Not to mention that Falcon and the Winter Soldier did such an awesome job expanding his character it deserves to be talked about. Hope to see it happen.
I've suffered from a bit of PTSD myself. Whenever this one event from my childhood that was extremely traumatic comes up, I instantly begin to break down and struggle to breathe. My mom gets especially upset whenever she sees me have a panic attack by the mere mention of that event and tries her best to comfort me. I then again began to develop some PTSD during my final year of high school due to constant harsh bullying from this one kid in school who would harass EVERYONE in school (teachers included) and never seemed to learn his lesson. One day, when I tried to calmly stop a fight from breaking out between the bully and the biggest, scariest kid in school who had a notorious temper, the bully started throwing all his insults at me while the rest of the school looked on (it was a small school with only up to 30 students). It got so bad so quickly that I just blacked out at one point and snapped, instinctively slapping the bully before falling to my knees and crying my eyes out, screaming at him "I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU!!!". The bully got mad at me and accused me of slapping him for no reason, even though almost the entire school saw that HE had been the one to escalate things when I tried to stop a fight and that I had just snapped and tried to defend myself from his constant abuse. I didn't even hit him. The rag I was holding at the time (it was the end of the day and we were assigned chores to do to help clean up the school and I was on dusting duty or something that day) just barely brushed against his cheek. The teachers pulled him into a side room and scold him for what he did while the lady who ran the front desk and some of the students I had built up good relationships with tried to comfort me and help me calm down as I was still sobbing and basically having a panic attack. It was the first time the bully made me leave school crying, but it was the worst. My mom just so happened to have been there to pick me up right away and saw how upset I was even before I got into the car. I barely got a word out before she knew that the bully had something to me again to make me so upset and she got out of the car to demand that something was finally done about the bully, threatening to pull me out of school if nothing was done. I was terrified to go back to school as I didn't want to have to face another day with the bully. However, when I came back, all the kids came up to me and told me that the incident between me and the bully was the final straw and the bully had been expelled. They actually called me a hero and thanked me for standing up for the bully and getting rid of him. Everyone was just done with him. I'm honestly quite surprised that I was the one who got physical confronting the bully as quite a few of the students did have a bit of a reputation or even run ins with the police while I was always pretty quiet and did my best to always follow the rules and be a good girl. I'm not even joking that I was such a goodie-two-shoes that my teachers actually gave me a high-five and laughing their heads off when I told a joke to one of my classmates at one of our teacher's expense, saying that they were glad that I was breaking out of my shell. Because of this reputation I had as the "good student" and everyone clearly seeing that I had been provoked and constantly harassed by the bully, I got off from the whole incident Scott free and my teachers even went out of their way to make sure I was okay and apologizing that things got so bad that I'd react like that. However, even though the bully was finally gone, a part of me still wanted to leave that school and transfer to a new one even though I had less than a semester left of my final year of high school. I just couldn't bear remaining there after that incident. My mom also wanted to transfer me to a different school, but my dad wouldn't allow it due to several things. One of which being that the school my mom and I were wanting me to transfer to was labeled as school for disabled kids. I am autistic and do need some special help with some of my studies, my best friend even attended the school, but my dad was dead set on not letting me go there even though it seemed like such a perfect school for me. To this day, I still wish I could have finished my high school years at the same school as my best friend than a school that was full of so many bad memories during my final year, memories that left me in tears. After my experiences with PTSD, as well as other mental issues I've been dealing with, I decided to create characters with such issues themselves. I'd be basing it off of some of my experiences as well as other sources so that I can be as respectful as possible when touching upon them and helping others better understand them. It really does sadden me when people keep getting made fun of or are not properly portrayed in media who do suffer from these sorts of things, often resulting in misinformation spreading and accusations or mockery being thrown at people who do truly suffer from them. Even if I can't reach a wide audience with my stories, I still want to help people feel seen and understood. I grew up often participating in autism awareness walks and stuff with my family, so that desire to help spread awareness and be an active helper to those in need has developed so strongly in me over the course of my life. I'm all for helping both those who suffer from these issues and helping those who don't better understand, come to terms, and accept them, even if it's hard.
I just want to comment that I rarely ever give enough praise to the youtube content makers out there because i'm always watching so many different youtube bits for comparing and contrasting what i like to be part of my daily/weekly life. I want to thank you both for creating the content that you have and i think its worth noting that despite my lack of participation, that this comment is very necessary to give praise to you're work. Thank you.
I will add a personal note to this set of movies and how it helped / hindered my growth. So right before End Game came out I found out my girlfriend who had left for school 4 months ago was cheating on me. Well... I was co-parenting her kid with her dad who had moved in to help while she was at school. And I am not someone who ever wanted kids, but when I started dating this woman and got to know her son I really bonded with him. So... I felt like I was really letting him down by leaving. I bawled in the theater. It was embarrassing. Anyways... what I was able to really take from this is that sometimes we aren't responsible for other people and their decisions. We can try to do our best but at the end of the day we can only do our best. (I know this sounds like I have it all together but I still feel some guilt). Great show! Keep it up!
I like it when Tony Stark has his, what I call, MacGyver moments. All good movies and even TV shows have them. It's a montage of problem-solving, brainstorming, figuring stuff out, even training or fixing things. When Tony is in this mode he is unstoppable and I love how he sort of leans into that across multiple movies.
I'm sure you've got this comment multiple times before, but it's a beautiful thing to illustrate psicology and concepts that might be very complicated with movies because it makes it way easier to understand and the dialogue you guys bring to it it's amazing, i love your videos!
thanks for all your comment ,I will like you to send a direct message to my email so you get more information directly from me. tonystarkbin100@gmail.com❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I had a few moments where the anxiety attack just cut. Sometimes out of the right thing, sometimes because there was something more important to deal with. It was weird
I used to hate watching videos where the people filmed themselves talking about stuff, but with all of the AI videos that hit youtube like a tsunami, I started truly appreciate the real people who truly care enough to put the effort in. I'm so glad I found this channel. I'm watching on the PC at home now but love listening to videos like this at work, It's perfect for work
I haven't even watched the video but you guys... You're the rare few good reaction channels. There are so many garbage reactions which just reuploads original content, to point you guys should have new name, but then the reaction channels will try to absorb that name too
Tony learned in Iron Man 3, that not the suits are Iron Man, HE is Iron Man. (He says so right after he destroyed the suits he built because of his PTSD and he got the surgery to remove the reactor from his chest, something he arguably didn't do before because he felt like it was a part of his identity as Iron Man). The next time we see him (in Age of Ultron) he jumps into the fight at the afterparty (Which was the working title for that movie and a nice nod back at Iron Man 2) while not wearing any suit.
12:55 One thing I don't hear nearly enough people talking about is how they both predicted each others fate. At the end of endgame, Tony laid down his life. He made the sacrifice play to save the rest of the universe. And Steve proved that it's his integrity that is what makes him special. Both when he stands against thanos's army himself, and when he makes the eventual decision to give up the life he made for himself to go back in time. It puts me in my feels every time
Right. Also the thing that makes Steve great is that he was always the reluctant hero. He wasn't the bigshot "I am so great saving the world and everyone needs to thanks me!" guy. That was more Tony - esoeciallly in the early movies. Steve was literally the guy who just wanted to fight bullies do his best, but if he had a choice would rather have simple life.
I wonder sometimes if Tony can even go to therapy, because I get the feeling that in that universe it's impossible for him to do anything without it being leaked to the press. So if he wanted to go to therapy there would be a risk of it being leaked to the media and also the risk of the therapist leaking info the the media.
There’s always a risk but it really wouldn’t make sense for any therapist to leak Stark’s info to the media because that would be very damaging (to therapist profession and patient confidentiality ish)
After I witnessed my brother get shot and murdered, I’ve been dealing with PTSD and anxiety. A trick/ lifesaver that has helped me when dealing with it is that you have to realize you’re mentality for that moment is in the past. I literally have to ground myself by sitting down. Breathing technique. And finding 5 things I’m thankful for in that very moment in time. So I might find something that’s my favorite color. Or think about five people I have right now that I’m thankful for. Or look at my hands and realize “I’m here. And you can make a change now.” You just get better at coping and helping others out. You will cry and you will feel hurt, but you can always make a change to better future situations.
@Tasia Alexis. Thanks for this. I’ve been struggling with PTSD and it’s triggered a resurgence in my OCD issues. I appreciate the grounding advice. I hope you’ve found peace.
When they said that Tony acting like he isn't putting his life in danger because he's smart enough to save himself is him being a narcissist, it reaaly hit home. Now I'm identifying the traits in my personality that might be narcissistic. I usually act like problems aren't existant because (of denial, yes, but also...) I've always been taught that I was bright and that I had a destiny in front of me, so I usually act like I'll find the solution at some point and I ignore the panic and organization that normal people go through. Thanks for putting that into perspective, it's not a GREAT issue in my life but it definitely help, guys ❤
I've actually had a similar experience to the "build something" moment. I was in a fabrication contest in front of a bunch of people. I was struggling HARD with an attack. Once I started the actual work of making, I was out of it. Not quite as completely or drastically as Tony but somewhat. I haven't watched Iron Man III since I got better control. This episode had me in literal tears. Mostly in the realization of how bad it was and how far I've come.
I have PTSD from past abuse, so I know how horrible and intense a PTSD panic attack is. You can feel like you're dying or like it's never gonna end and it can be terrifying.
Splendid Episode! I think films these day starting to show quite a realistic symptoms of mental illness, because with Hollywood budgets, it wouldn't be hard. However, I think one of the reason that the healing parts in films are quite rushed, and sometimes unrealistic was, because of time limit, and films are still films, Hollywood still want it to be dramatic, so it would a bit hard to show the extremely slow progress of healing.
I have yet to see Iron Man 3, but MAN. Robert Downey Jr's display of anxiety is so realistic. I remember doing those exact movements when I was having panic episode years ago.
Omg since we’re down the Marvel wormhole pls react to dealing with grief in WandaVision!!! I don’t mind clearing out my day if you put out a 1 hr video about it 👀
You guys doing a video on the character that made me realize (years ago) I in fact have PTSD, and that what I was going through, was an actual thing and not something I just was doing for attention. Oof, I don't know if I am ready to cry today.
I wasn't there for my cousin when he needed me the most. I didn't know how to reach out to him because it seemed like drugs had too tight of a hold on him. After he died I took it personal of course. I blamed myself distanced myself from family. I couldn't look my grandmother in the eyes. I was ashamed of myself. I heard a quote or an idea from someone. Think of characteristics from a loved on that passed that you loved about them and implement that into your characteristics.That will keep them alive. I Admired how open my cousin was how he attracted people seamlessly. I always admired that so I took it upon myself to be more honest more accepting but not a fool as well. It will never be the same now that he's gone but I'm thankful he was here. Thats all ima say hope everyone is good and if not it will get better gotta find that pathway to better days.
I think the reason it's possible to snap someone out of a panic attack like that, because you're reminding them that they have the tool they need to make themselves safe, tried and true, easy to do. The sense of relief can be euphoric.
Having an anxiety attack and then snapping out of it has happened multiple times with me. Usually it's something a friend says or some part of me hits back with a counter-argument. Sometimes something just destroys the thought process and you can reset. Most of the time it doesn't but it's nice when it does.
I haven’t seen these movies in so long, and my jaw dropped seeing the scene where Tony has the panic attack with the kid and he runs over to the snow and puts it on his face to cool off! A close relative of mine has been opening up a lot of old traumas in therapy that have been pushed down for so long and having some resulting panic and anxiety. His go-to de-panic method is ice (plus meds)! His ideal is getting a big bowl, filling it with ice and water, and submerging his hands up past his wrist. One of the first attacks he had in this recent period reminded me so much of the diner scene too, he got super short of breath, immediately felt like he just needed to cool his body down and ran out of the house where the temp was cold, stripping off outer layers. Huge, renewed respect for these movies.
When Tony "snapped out of it" cause his light-bulb moment so real for me. An it not to say it means my ptsd is gone. It just after hearing just right thing or when i FINALLY able have that moment of clarity it's like.... It's like if face down on pillow an suffocating, but that moment of clarity makes it click "oh yeah....i can just..sit up an breath" I gonna stop i feel like making no sense😅
Honestly I watch this to feel I'm not alone in the world since I have no car and no one really visits me. I don't know if it's working but I wanna thank you guys for being here either way.
Jonathan here, inviting you to check out Mended Light, my new channel dedicated to healthy relationships and trauma healing, as referenced in this episode. Please subscribe if you find it helpful! ua-cam.com/channels/AicfSzczJb_-nK6tW0TxHw.html
Okay so I know your channel has been booming lately, and rightfully so because your content is amazing and the chemistry between you is the best. But now that you're discussing Marvel, especially if you include Thor's despression, Wanda's grief and Bucky's guilt, it's gonna grow massively. That Marvel audience is massive
Definitely just subbed :)
Thank you for doing this! As a Marvel fan and trauma survivor, I loved this episode! Though, I'd say that my PTSD manifested more like Thor (not going out, avoiding people, questioning if I was still worthy etc), not Iron Man (though I recognize not wanting to talk to people and the panic). Will definitely check your new channel out. Keep up the good work!
More videos from you? Count me in!
Huge Mcu fan, so glad you guys picked this character to dig into
Tony grabbing the snow during his PTSD episode is actually a real coping mechanism! It's grounding, using your senses to bring you back to reality and remind you the PTSD/anxiety attack isn't real
Thank you that's an amazing information!!
Rdk did such a good job I almost felt those panic attacks that he was acting out😭😭
Thanks for pointing this out! There was that second moment where he's having another panic attack. Sitting on the ground and grabbing onto the car's door handle trying to ground himself back as he tries to calm down. Wow never noticed these things, nice observation
RDJ really did an amazing job showing what a panic attack is like and how sometimes it just hits you!
And the cold itself helps interrupt the nervous system's overstimulated reaction. In a pinch, running cold water over your hands can help a lot, if you can manage that complex an action or can pre-plan it into your crisis plans with your support network.
I really wish more people paid attention to the fact that Tony didn't actually start dating Pepper until after she was CEO and no longer his employee. He always thought of her as an equal but there was no question of a power imbalance in their relationship, which is so important.
That's so awesome.
@Rose Dreamsinger Seems like you have your own issues and are projecting massively.
@@wyterabitt2149 not rlly ive met alot of guys who want their partner/gf to have less power than them
@@hanakoskokeshidoll it sounds worse then it is but it makes sense if your around fighting couples alot if one side can just rely on the other its better for everyone fights start because of money
@Rose Dreamsinger 8 month old comment but it's not as simple as you think (as everything ultimately never is) Why would a woman settle for less when she can have something better? If the man doesn't earn as much and isn't as smart then it makes sense that she would find someone better. I bet there are numerous other variables and perspectives on top of that.
Iron Man 3 was not well received (even I admit it’s not in my top list of MCU films) but one article I read really angered me, because the reviewer, who if I recall correctly, admitted to not being a therapist, but said something along the lines of “that’s not how PTSD works.” As someone who is not a therapist but does suffer from PTSD, the way RDJ acted out his panic attacks was very similar to the way mine would hit me at times, most often without warning. So yeah, that is in fact, how PTSD can “work.”
AS an artist, I can say that bursts of consuming creativity really override anxiety, which is why Tony had so many suits and had to "tinker" in order to better control his surroundings. I may not have PTSD, but I completely understand Tony Starks creativity motivations. I enjoyed the movie and enjoyed the characters growth and acceptance.
This is one of the movies that represent my own PTSD. It was absolutely like that, but without super suits
I actually really like IM3 and one of the reasons is the portayal of mental health issues. That reviewer also really doesn't know anything about since it was even used as an example of a realistic depiction of PTSD in a psych textbook.
I think IM3 was kinda weak in regards to villains/fights, but at least to me, that's not really what the movie was about.
The most common complaint I saw was that "we want to see Iron Man kick some ass, not see Tony Stark struggle" and that bothered me SO much, because what makes the MCU so good *is* that the characters are more than just some bland cardboard cutouts used as vehicles for pure action.
@@sleepysera ^^^^^^^
I think the reason the kid saying "you're a mechanic, right?" helps tony calm down almost instantly is because that's always been his happy place and how he escapes hard things. It's how he gains control. The kid basically took him from a place where he feels he has no control and reminded him that he does have *some* control and I think that can be super calming
Totally agreed. The kid should be a freaking therapist. He handled Tony’s PTSD perfectly. I also like that he had Jarvis to tell him that his vitals were normal and he was probably having a panic attack. When I had bad anxiety early on in college it took months and a doctor’s appointment or two for me to get that type of reassurance.
It's more so what he says after that, "Why don't you build something?"
Even in the first movie, before he goes to Afghanistan to show off his Jericho missiles, he's several hours late because he's tinkering with a motorcycle. He built a circuit board as a toddler. He loves creating things, and creating things has saved his life several times. That's probably what calmed him down, knowing that he can just build something to deal with the problem.
The only thing wrong with the kid was that he's the token autistic character
That wasn't necessary at all
Aw, I love that!
21:37 "The wheezes are so realistic"
Yes! Little detail that impressed me. As someone who has asthma and panic attacks, it was surprisingly...comforting?...to see a panic attack in a movie that didn't sound like an asthma attack. At least for me, they are very different.
I thought it was interesting because mine are usually very closely linked. I have asthma which can send me into an anxiety attack which of course worsens my asthma. So, I've never really been able to tell the difference. Like I know the difference from which starts but once Im in the spiral I cant tell which is which.
That definitely makes his panic attack more realistic, because when people have panic attacks and even anxiety attacks that’s what happens.
I have exercise-induced asthma and general anxiety disorder, but I didn't find out about the asthma until later. However, I would have panic attacks due to not being able to breathe, and I thought the not breathing was due to the panic. Once I got the inhaler, I figured out that if I can't breathe I can just use the inhaler and suddenly my panic about breathing diminished a lot, even when I didn't use the inhaler. Just the knowledge that I could made it easier to deal with. Also, the difference that I feel between having a panic attack and having an asthma attack is that in a panic attack I feel like I can't suck in enough air through my throat, while in an asthma attack I feel like my lungs are full of woodchips. So if I feel woodchips I get the inhaler but if I don't feel woodchips then I do a grounding technique.
The one that got me was that gulp! The swallow then imidiate wheeze! It is so accurate
I remember before I realized I was experiencing panic attacks, I thought that I was having asthma attacks again like when I was a kid; I still had an inhaler as a just-in-case thing, so I tried using it and of course found it didn't help at all. Some time later I realized oh, these are panic attacks. No wonder the inhaler didn't do anything
Pepper was the first consistent person in Tony's life, most likely since his mother. Tony was afraid of commitment because commitment implicitly comes with the risk of loss. Pepper persistently showed Tony love and compassion that he had been avoiding. He was only able to experience it because his guard was down due to her job title, but Pepper cared about Tony beyond her job due to her compassion and humanity. Pepper was the first person Tony felt he needed since his defense mechanisms were established. He couldn't help but fall for Pepper because he got a taste of the one thing he needed, and for that reason, he couldn't lose it, and more importantly, her.
Which is why I guess by the time they show us Maria Stark in Civil War, turns out she actually looks a lot like Pepper. And the fact that he and Pepper are in a rough patch while all these external events are forcing him to re-live the trauma of losing his mother is so important that the movie sets up the two things back to back when it introduces Tony, right before giving us the "official" motivation for his actions.
Although I agree with all this, we also shouldn’t forget Rhodes! He was basically the BFF/older brother he never had, except... he wasn’t around nearly as much with his job and all...
You also have Jarvis
It wasn't just the name of his AI, but also the name of his father's butler. I would imagine he had enough of an impact on Tony where he felt the need to name the system after him.
@@melindoranightsilver9298 Yes, absolutely, him and Rhodey I felt were responsible for his upbringing to be honest. XD (Especially in the post-uni/accident years.) I don't think the loss of Jarvis in AoU is nearly recognized enough within the canon verse.
@@natalies8498 YES!! I don’t think people really appreciate just how gut wrenching losing JARVIS was to Tony, JARVIS was the one thing he thought he wouldn’t lose, and he did. His rock, his fail safe, his omniscient and ever present guardian and butler. He already lost his first, human one, so he built another that would never die, but he did, and I’m not sure if the movies portrayed his reaction to that as well as they could have. They sort of sweep it under the rug almost. Granted, a bunch of shit is going on at the moment, but still, heartbreak and trauma waits for no one.
So two things from the Avengers scene that indicate Tony's really stinging from Cap's comment:
1) he breaks eye contact for like a fraction of a second.
2) the first part of his response, his voice is noticeably strained.
By The Avengers, Tony really wants to think of himself as a good man, but Cap just cuts his legs out from underneath him with that comment
Great observations on the the acting.
The only thing though is Cap is completely wrong about Tony in that scene. Both Tony and Cap don't actually know each other, they're speaking based on assumptions and reputations. Tony was willing to make the sacrifice play at the end of Ironman 1. He tells pepper to turn on the arch reactor while he was still in the way. He just happened to get pushed back to safety because of plot armor.
@@captainmarvelous7678 THANK YOU! I’m so tired of no one recognizing that Cap was incorrect and kinda being a big douche nugget in that scene. He doesn’t know who Tony *is*, only what he’s heard of him and feels totally free to make assumptions off of very little fact. And while obviously Cap views “sacrifice play” as this uber righteous, life-on-the-line move, I feel like in reality, sacrifices can come in many forms. Even him immediately planning on gutting his fathers long-standing work in weapons manufacturing because he saw what it was doing in the world is a sacrifice play. He was willing to lose his entire livelihood and undo the work of a man he’s spent his entire life battling for the respect of because it was better for humanity. A sacrifice play defend the other guys.
@@MothmanInHisChibiEra I think cinemawins had a great comment on this. We see the tesseract has a kind of antagonistic effect on everyone, it makes those emotions bubble and fester, if you notice, there is a Dutch tilt on thor and he's slurring his speech like he's had one too many drinks. It brings out their frustration and anger which makes sense because they aren't really a team just yet.
@@PersephoneVariety thats the mindstone that was powering sceptor
honestly tony stark was one of the only characters with that kind of personality in action movies that showed realistic symptoms of ptsd and anxiety (like that panic attack) and oh boy, iron man 3 really hits hard on that domain
Katniss did, too. Though YA dystopian probably doesn't fit into the genre of superhero movies, come to think of it...
the panic attack felt so realistic it was diffucult to watch as it almost triggered one in me.
Agreed! I don't know if this was true or not but apparently RDJ really pushed for IM3 because Marvel was initially iffy about it and didn't want to 'weaken' Tony and showing different sides of him but Robert really wanted to show the toll these superhero lives can take dealing with the shit that they do and that Tony isn't a supersoldier or God and there's a real person bleeding and hitting the ground in these battles and felt the need to explore that. If that's true, I'm super grateful he did.
I feel like RDJ is familiar with a lot of these symptoms.
@@jfox8600 I mean, if anything it strengthened his image as an absolute survivor, fighting the odds even when everything is going against him, even his own subconscious, and most importantly, he ends up winning against it all.
I'd argue that Tony's been dealing with PTSD since he got out of the cave. Everything he's done since has been on his own terms 100%, he was seizing control and he was protecting himself as much as possible. But the nuke/wormhole/sudden unexpected alien invasion combo was on a whole other level.
That’s my theory, too. I think he had a milder case of PTSD ever since he was kidnapped and got the shrapnel in his chest. I think he also has a severe case of survivor’s guilt after watching multiple people who tried to protect him (first all those soldiers who were assigned to guard him on his way to and from his missile test, and then Yinsen) die horrible deaths. He’s clearly struggling with his mental health throughout the whole series.
Yes probably. He goes through alot theres been scenes in comics where hes traveled through space and the thought of that would be terryfing.😂
I think you've nailed it.
One scene I think they missed in this was the scene where he throws himself into his work. He's got the PTSD and the insomnia so to cope he builds suit after suit after suit. I think it's a fascinating coping mechanism and so in line with Tony's character. He's already handed off management of the company and the title of CEO to Pepper so all he has left is his personal lab and his suit building. Ironically, some of his best innovations for his suits come out of it but the cost to his psyche, relationship with Pepper and physical health is super high.
There's another video that analyses this with the notion that Tony is building these suits which are specialised, fragile and disposable because after New York he realises he might not be enough. What if there's a falling building? What if a mission requires stealth and he doesn't have Natasha or Hawkeye with him? So he builds a suit for every scenario imaginable, and Mark 42 is the penultimate being a suit and can be summoned at will and apparently can also respond to panicked sounds because it walked into his room when he was having PTSD nightmares and accidentally summoned it.
It's basically a paranoia induced engineering mania. He builds a suit made for assisting construction, and then he thinks "what if the building collapses?" And builds a suit that can hold big structures (Igor), and then he thinks "What if the Hulk goes berserk?" And he builds Hulkbuster. So on and so forth. Every time he finishes a suit, he realised he didn't think of yet another scenario. He wants to cover his bases as much as possible, and every time he thinks he has it covered he realises he missed one, and another, and another. If he didn't recover from the PTSD he would have build possibly over hundreds of suits specialised to every scenario possible
This is why Tony is my favorite. I have always argued that he was the most human of all the avengers, which people don’t agree with me about. This video helps show what I have been saying for the longest time.
You were right! They were wrong! Victory!
@@CinemaTherapyShow that sounds sarcastic
@@bvgg833 It isn't. Trust me.
The other thing about that scene when Tony is watching the news and starts blasting things in the room: It's interesting that they chose the glass walls, because glass naturally makes a reflection. Tony sees his reflection when he turns around, and because he hates who he was, he blasts away the image, that person he wishes to put behind him.
And while he does still exhibit a certain amount of egotistical behavior after everything in Iron Man 1, putting distance between himself and his old life does actually play a role in his ptsd - it's half the reason he eventually turns to relying on his suits instead of relying on himself. The incident in New York is the other half of the picture, when no matter what he does, he has no way out. In effect, it teaches him that he can't rely on himself to save himself or anyone else. Combine that with guilt and self hatred, and you get the Tony who searches for something else to rely on. The kid saying "just the right thing" snaps him back to reality a bit, I think because Tony made that mental transition without even thinking about it. He was so lost in his panic and anxiety that he didn't even realize that he was putting all his trust into a suit instead of the ingenuity behind the creation of that suit. In the end, half his struggle through ptsd is also a hard lesson in humility. His pride and ego had been broken, and he didn't know what to do with himself because he relied on that for so long. After all of these events, he learns to reexamine and accept the good parts that he had, but in a different light. It really sets the stage for him in the upcoming movies, especially Civil War, because his ego would never let him accept the Secovia accords, but a humbled Tony Stark (who also learns after Avengers 2 that he doesn't always make good decisions even as a reformed man) would.
Well said! Truly, digging your insights.
That is a really good insight and I love how these movies put light on these things and actually make it so deep. Your right in what you said and it's good.
Oh my god... This just made me realize why Tony never called Cap in those two years. Like in AoU he tried relying on his tech AGAIN, because he felt like and the Avengers won't be enough due to the recent trigger he experienced from Wanda's magic. He asked them "How are we going to fight that?" Cap says "Together." Tony takes that reassurance that they'll have his back, that he could rely on them. But then CACW comes along, turns out Cap had lied to him, most of the Avengers went with Cap, and Tony... Tony more or less ended up alone dealing with the impending doom from the future haunting him. Like, if Cap lied to him about his parents, what else did he lie about? Did he lie about the Avenger's being his home? Did he also lie that Tony could rely on him? He probably questioned himself of those. While I understand some of the conflict in CW is partially Tony's fault (and Cap is also partially at fault), that act... Well, it probably did some untold emotional damage to Tony, I think.
I love this comment for the way that it describes anxiously grasping for *something* you can trust and hold onto, so you know things will be okay--and the anxious vulnerability and dependence you experience when that thing/person that you trust can't be you. When Tony's suit fails, he loses the hope he placed all his security in, the future becomes extremely dark and unavoidable, and he has a panic attack. When the kid points out that there might still be a way for things to be okay and that there are still ways he can trust himself, I think those are beautiful, powerful messages (conveyed so innocently) to combat his fear.
I also love that the kid gave him those messages through a question. It wasn't "I believe in you," or "you can do it!" or some other phrasing that inadvertently would have required Tony to choose blind confidence or to trust a child's judgment instead of his own. By asking a question, he opened the idea that the "secure" solution might not be the only way forward, and he inadvertently invited Tony to fill in the blanks for "how?" with something he could believe in. It was both showing Tony how to hope, and increasing Tony's ability to trust himself at the same time. I love that.
It makes his comment in Endgame about losing the kid hit even harder. He couldn't do something you know he promised himself that he would.
As someone with PTSD/anxiety, I've been in crisis situations where I could pull it together because someone around me was in crisis. After they didn't need me, I'd fall apart, but when THEY needed me, I could do it. I can't necessarily do it for myself, but I can for others, if that makes any sense.
I’m a former firefighter… this makes perfect sense. It wasn’t the chaos it’s the quiet that tears me apart.
@@robadob55I have the same with my ptsd, I feel safe in chaos but when its only me and my thoughts i crumble.
@@robadob55 thanks for your service
Not trying to compare to PTSD, but honestly, this is how my wife and I got through the early years with a newborn. When she was going nuts, I felt calm. We were never both going nuts at the same time.
I have exactly the same thing, my mom had to go to the hospital suddenly in an ambulance 3 times just this year alone and I refuse to cry infront of her.
In Spider-Man homecoming he even tells Peter he’s proud of him because he wants to break the cycle of fathers not telling their sons they’re proud of them
crying because tony was really more than a mentor for peter, and we barely saw their interactions together before they had to kill tony off. this is why i squirrel myself away with some good fanfiction, sometimes...
@@nebullae Denial is such a wonderful place, right? I live there, and "Endgame" doesn't exist in it. (Mostly, though, because it infuriates me with how it was written. I could live with Tony dying - but not with that amount of cheese they topped it with. Not to mention me ranting about the Cap-ending, and now I'm ranting again and I'll be back in Denial shortly. Sorry for this. Have a good day :-)
@@frizzlethecat2084 hah i was surprised to see my year-old comment but it still stands, lol. i agree completely- i understand why they ended tony’s arc with his heroic death, but everything else was… unsatisfactory to say the least. but i also don’t want to get myself started because then i won’t be able to stop 💀
Tony was such a gem in the superhero movie world. He actually got hurt physically from fights, and paid emotionally and mentally as well. So few heroes have that realistic, human weight. Also, sadly realistic is how everyone, even his friends, either don't notice his struggles or don't know how to react to it in helpful ways.
I would disagree with Tony’s lightbulb moment “fixing” his attack. I have had these situations where I am in a full blown panic mode, usually triggered by helplessness in the same way tony feels helpless without his suit. He can’t force the suit to charge so he feels under pressure without a play, until the kid points out he’s not entirely helpless. He takes a few moments to process while ignoring whatever else is being said, and refocuses his thoughts to solving the problem. His (and my) adrenaline is still flowing and his heart rate is still elevated, but it’s come down from even 20 seconds ago. At least for me, panic attacks don’t stop like a brake pedal, they recede back to baseline anxiety like taking your foot off the gas.
Last year, I took an Abnormal Psychology class and one of our assignments was to write a paper diagnosing two fiction characters from either movies or TV. I chose to do Tony Stark from the MCU and I diagnosed him with PTSD. It was one of my favorite papers to write.
could you link that paper? i'd love to read it
@@apparentlyasun Same here! 🙏
We did this too but I chose Ann Hathaways Catwoman. I can't remember what I diagnosed her with though lol.
Yes please!
I had same assignment but I chose to do it about Batman lol
Peter and Tony's relationship feels like a tangified representation of inner child healing, but instead of Tony imagining talking with his inner child, he talks to Peter, whom he has watched begin to experience the same trauma he did. As a PTSD survivor, I can imagine the desperation.
Tony Stark’s character isn’t a narcissist-he is behaving narcissistically. People with NPD do not feel remorse for their behaviour, nor do they change to become genuinely altruistic.
I love the Cinema Therapy guys but calling Tony NPD ignores too much of his backstory and deeper moments. I feel like if you have to say “unlike most narcissists, Tony does …” that many times, he’s not a narcissist in a clinical sense.
Not to mention, all of my psychology studies in school made a massive point of not diagnosing a disorder when there can be alternative motivations which with Tony, there absolutely is when you factor in his father, his upbringing, his lifestyle, etc.
@@MothmanInHisChibiEra I agree! Within the first five minutes of Iron Man, we see him fail to show up for an award ceremony celebrating his accomplishments. Surely a narcissist would enjoy something like that but Tony clearly doesn't. He only feels bad about missing it when he learns Rhodey, his best friend, was gonna give it to him. I think he's always held a deep feeling of self-loathing due to his childhood and how his father treated him, and uses this mask of ego and narcissism to cover it.
I felt bad disagreeing with an actual therapist, but I was like "Isn't part of the point of a narcissist that they have no thoughts or feelings that would allow change?"
@@mage1439 It's totally fine to disagree with someone! Therapists themselves disagree with each other all the time. It's also worth noting that they probably haven't watched the Iron Man movies a million times like myself and others have. They're just looking at clips here.
that's a bit ableist buddy. They lack empathy not remorse
I think personally from suffering from PTSD & growing up with having numerous panic/anxiety attacks a week, one of things that hit me from that scene with the kid talking to Tony over the phone, is that the kid unintentionally was guiding him in “grounding”. “Grounding” is a technique that’s used to help a person during an attack, by attaching themselves to a truth or something stable, whether that be physically (like holding onto a stone or feeling the textures of the carpet) or mentally (grasping onto a truth or repeating a mantra). And I think that both forms of “grounding” is what the kid was implying; first telling Tony, “you’re a mechanic, build something” is a truth. Tony knows that building things is something he’s good at, something he’s familiar with & this makes him feel in control & safe. The second, is that being a mechanic requires you to work with your hands, get dirty, do physically hard things, & work your body. There’s no better physical grounding tool than that! Maybe with that combo is what kinda “snapped” Tony out of his PTSD but I agree with them, in that no one “snaps” out of an anxiety or panic attack. It usually takes me a good day & a half to fully recover from an anxiety attack & about 40 mins to recover from a panic attack. And even then I can relapse & have another one. But grounding has been so helpful to me & I encourage anyone else who struggles with panic & anxiety attacks to find what grounding method works for you!
Comments like this are why I love this channel. I have anxiety but never experienced PTSD. Thanks for sharing, I think "grounding" might help me as well
@Leide Keine Dummköpfe "Psychological trauma is damage to a person's mind as a result of one or more events that cause overwhelming amounts of stress that exceed the person's ability to cope or integrate the emotions involved, eventually leading to serious, long-term negative consequences."
-- it's not 'exclusive' to military or law enforcement (mental/physical abuse, childhood trauma, violence, heavy bullying etc.) -- it can happen to anyone, many men probably tend to talk less about it or don't seek the help of s.o. who can diagnose it.
Also, don't ask what s.o.'s PTSD is from, it's a very private matter! The worst you can do is tell them they don't have it because they weren't in the military or sth.
RDJ really did such an amazing job at portraying PTSD and the panic attacks following. I personally have some issues with that because of a brother and my family keeps mentioning him even though I always beg them not to and it immediately makes me break down, just like Tony. Suddenly it just becomes so difficult to do simple things like breathing and thinking straight, everything in your head is just filled with painful memories.
I was watching just fine, then he said "weather you've been through emotional abuse, Physical abuse" and in an instant I started tearing up. My ex gf became physically violent during the worst argument we'd ever had, it was only one time, it didn't physically hurt much, but every once in a while I remember the shear emotional stress I felt in that moment, and I will sob for about a minute before bottling it back up. What gets me most is the shame I feel about crying about something that happened over a year ago...
I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Don't feel shame about your feelings. A year ago is not that long!
Emotional scar hurts more since it can last for very long time, even to lifetime. Even if you forgive the person who hurted you, the act still lingering and haunting you everytime. And I really resonate with that
I'm sorry, I hope you're doing better
What I hate about PTSD and post trauma responses is the triggers can be so random and often unexpected. My third, and last miscarriage was the most traumatic and of course, baby announcements, baby clothes, and baby associated things were major triggers. But I didn't expect raspberries to be a trigger. It took quite a while until we figured that one out. Baby had been the size of a raspberry when my husband had tossed a wild raspberry to me on a nature walk we went on. I failed to catch the raspberry and I can vividly remember the juice splattered on the rocks and a weird feeling of dread at that. I still don't like raspberries much, but I can look at them and walk past them in a grocery store now without feeling nausea or a cold sweat or breathing too quickly.
Hey, one of my triggers is spoons, you know, that utensil you eat with? Sometimes I know why (I know why in the case of spoons and red polo shirts and the phrase “it is what it is”) and sometimes I don’t (in the case of driving anywhere except the tiny town I’ve lived in for ten+ years, like, what’s up with that? You’d think it’d be the other way around, right, since most of my trauma happened here? Whatever I guess). It’s just what your brain focuses on in those memories and sometimes it’s super frustrating bc it’s something really common and you can’t avoid it.
What I’m trying to say is, I understand what you’re saying and I want to validate you bc I know that it sucks
@@graylewis7551 Thanks for sharing your story.
@Leide Keine Dummköpfe After the birth of my first living child I had postpartum depression. After my third miscarriage it was different. My doctor informed me that I just had regular old depression now. I also suffered from a missed miscarriage for the last one which meant that baby died at 9 weeks but I didn't find out until 12 weeks. The process wasn't finished until almost a month later. With my other losses, it was around the 6 week mark, (basically a few days after the positive test), so I thought that at nearly 12 weeks I was "safe". That came crumbling down after I found our baby has died and we hadn't known until we couldn't find a heartbeat.
@Leide Keine Dummköpfe My first two miscarriages weren't as bad as the last one where I thought the risk was over. The fact that I thought we were no longer at risk and that it took a very long time and many medical appointments was what made it a bad traumatic experience.
@@graylewis7551 ptsd is not only snaped when there a tick but also when something unexpected happens qnd you have no idea how to respond to it
You know there was a fan theory that Peter Parker was the only person able to feel what happened to him during the snap because of his Spidey sense. That just makes it 10x worse because he’s looking at the dad he has always wanted and saying I need your help, and Tony can’t do anything to save him.
It was just an ad lib.
@@richierich7229 And it works narratively.
Agh, that scene is horrible. Not just Peter's blip, but Tony's reaction. He just sits there, eyes closed and rocks himself back and forth. So vulnerable.
Damn damn damn
Goddamn!😥
They mention this in the video after this and it’s even more touching the way they say iy
There's something I think you guys missed at about 5:50. Tony looked at his reflection in the glass, flashed anger and disgust, then shot his own reflection, not just once but three times.
Some people may have laughed at his portrayal but as someone diagnosed with PTSD I just felt for him. I wanted to hug him.
SAME!!!!
I got weird looks from people who didn’t know about my PTSD (they were joking about IVs and then I suddenly got anxious and they wondered why. I just said something along the lines of “I have bad memories of stuff like that” and they seemed to understand a lil, but that was still embarrassing.)
I was having an attack after a difficult conversation with my family. I was in a ward to be helped for those issues. After about 1.5 minutes of panicked SI, my care giver just casually asked “did you know people’s shoes stay where they where hit when they get run over by a car?” And it was the exact right morbid wtf kind of question that I was able to stop and start seeing the real world around me again.
That’s why I think it’s so important to have people around you who know that one thing your brain will hook on to if you deal with a mental illness like us.
Exactly, though I don’t think that question would’ve helped me 😂 too morbid for my taste 😆 but I’ll admit it is interesting!
I might start telling people to have me name an episode of the Goldbergs from a random season off hand or something. That usually gets me to think. 😆
I just love that scene in Avengers with Tony and Steve. Both their dialogue foreshadows what is to come for them both AND they prove each other wrong. “You’re not the one to make the sacrifice play.” And “everything special about you came out of a bottle.” Tony makes the ultimate sacrifice in Endgame and Steve is able to wield Mjölnir. So good!!!!
@Joshua Kelly lifting the hammer has nothing to do with physical strength! You could be the strongest person ever and still not be worthy, just like Thor wasn’t worthy for a time. That’s the whole point; all the things that make Steve worthy are things that he already had before the serum! Steve isn’t only special because of the serum. He got picked because of the traits he already had. Steve was “not a perfect soldier, but a good man.”
@Joshua Kelly I suspect he would. Even in weakling mode.
@Joshua Kelly Did you watch Thor 1? You should know how the hammer works at this point.
@Joshua Kelly i just wanna say, i understood what you meant, and i think that Steve would've struggled.
Even with the enchantment, the hammer is described to have weight. Vision himself said the weight of the hammer is "terribly well balanced". Judging by the size of the hammer, it's definitely heavier than a regular hammer you'd use for a nail.
I'd definitely think he'd struggle to swing that thing around with his old body that's basically just walking bones.
I agree that the foreshadowing is awesome. That scene was a bit stinging to watch knowing what happens next when I rewatched it.
I hope they look at Zuko in Avatar. I feel like everytime I rewatch ATLA I become more and more impressed with his character arc. With misplaced desires (like regaining his honor was about being accepted by his father), to learning about the world from different perspectives (as a prince then an outlaw), to the cathartic confrontation with his father and deciding not to seize power. I just feel like the whole show has a lot going on but especially with Zuko.
If you want to cover PTSD more, I recommend that you analyze the character of John Rambo. If there were ever a character driven by traumatic experiences, it was him.
"you're laughing even as you're hearts kinda breaking for him" that do be tony stark
I got diagnosed with PTSD and General Depression a few years ago due to growing up in an abusive household. (don't worry, i'm in a much better place now)
Nothing made Tony feel more real than Iron Man 3. I know people have problems with the movie, but seeing someone like Iron Man experience what you're so familiar with and seeing it portrayed so well gave me hope for reducing the stigma of mental health discussions.
This channel alone is such a great force for mental health conversations, and I'm so, so glad you guys are addressing Tony's issues. Thank you for putting these videos out
"Nothing made Tony feel more real than Iron Man 3."
@Leide Keine Dummköpfe none of your business?
@Leide Keine Dummköpfe gaslighting, emotional and physical abuse, parental abuse, and later down the line, sexual abuse (unrelated)
@Leide Keine Dummköpfe I'm sorry to hear that, but I don't like to go into detail to people I don't know.
@Leide Keine Dummköpfe Sir, I would invite you to deal with these issues with a therapist. I understand that projection is a defense mechanism, but it's not my job to make you feel better about yourself. Please leave me alone.
I love the scene where tony is watching the news and getting more worked up. To me this is the pivotal scene where he finally decides to be a hero. building the suit, testing, etc was all just prep work and that slow build up to using the repulser to shatter the glass....OMG CHILLS. because he goes from anger, to basically questioning himself one last time to commitment and the next part is him suiting up and just pure focus. LOVE IT
0:17 ooh fawk that hurt, the video hasn’t even started yet
I’m so excited for this! I’m obsessed with Tony Stark, his growth as a character is phenomenal. Can’t wait to watch!!
I'm so excited about this! Tony is one of the most beloved characters and definitely my favourite. What RDJ did with him and his emotional growth is phenomenal. Can't wait for this!
To be fair Tony ptsd isn't just gone after the 3rd movie, he learned to move on he do the operation to lift the metal on his chest but his ptsd is not completely gone, I think when pepper said "you can rest now" at the end signaling that he still has a ptsd even in endgame.
I love how his narcissism and sarcasm was just a coping mechanism to stop people from getting close to him. 🥺
Exactly. It's not true narcissism but a carefully built protective wall.
I always LOVED the PTSD story line of Iron Man 3 - it's the reason that it's my second-favourite Iron Man film - and I thought RDJ did an incredible job portraying his struggling character.
The line "PTSD occurs when you think your world is safe, and then you realize it's not" hit me like a truck but was also kinda validating at the same time. I've been diagnosed with C-PTSD (or complex PTSD) and one of the worst flashbacks I ever had involved me shaking and crying and only being able to say "I
Loki saying "we're not doing get help" and "it's humiliating," I'm going to be using this now
I watched this movie when it came out. It was freshman year of highschool and I just started in a new state and was super nervous.. this ironically was around the time in my life I started to experience anxiety/panic attacks. I remember watching Tony go through this stuff and it made me feel so much more calm and ready to deal with my own issues.
Later on, during that same movie in class, I stood up and physically got in-between two other students that were about to fight each other, and talked them down and convinced them to just watch the movie... despite my own issues with anxiety, this movie and seeing how he handled it gave me confidence to set my stuff aside and do the right thing.
I like to think this movie got me through a large part of that year.
I remember watching this movie having gone through some trauma and having extream daily panic attack's. I appreciated the fact that Tony's pain, vulnerability fear is not romanticized but portrayed realistically. It was strangely cathartic to see a hero go through the same struggle as I did. Luckily I got help and guidance from a great therapist. Thx guys for another great video. I enjoy them tremendously and would advise to see the channel 'academy of ideas'.
I really love Tonys development as a character. It makes him one of my favorite superheroes~ Also him being a father-figure to Peter is my favorite relationship in the MCU!
you two have become a safe space for so many people!! keep up the good work! 💕
Thank you so much!!
The "Get Help" clip in relation to therapy was BRILLIANT
Could you analyze Tony's character in the light of him potentially having ADHD?? It's a really common theory among marvel watchers who like psychology and the thought of Tony having ADHD is not only really neat because it's such a "small" mental disorder (in the sense most people underestimate it's effect) having such a Significant affect on his actions/thoughts as a person, but also it brings a lot of comfort to ADHD viewers seeing such a successful, awesome character potentially be coded to go through the exact same struggles they face mentally
oh that makes SO much sense
As and ADHDer myself ALL THE YESES, it could be a nice follow up to elf aswell on how it would present in adults, seeing a few people talk about Tony with ADHD, was part of what made me realize, and help me accept my ADHD at 18, and now I got the diagnosis
I can totally see that! Witty, impulsive honesty, pure feelings, either positive or negative. He wants to do good but feels doomed to fail And the narcissism... I feel, is Tony trying to focus on his strengths instead of his obvious shortcomings. Grown ups seem to see this as narcissism or cynicism. Kids dont assume and therefore the kid asks, that shows tony isnt all that secure. When people dont accept sarcasm and snark for true answers it forces you to look inside.
WAIT I LOVE THIS
I liked the comment about how Tony isn't like most narcissists. Because it's important to remember he's fiction & most people like him won't change & you can't fix them.
Tony's character and journey are my favourites in the MCU, love you 3000, Iron Man and Cinema Therapy
You, sirs, produce content of excellent quality. Thank you :)
Thank you for watching! :)
If you're gonna do one about Tony Stark and PTSD, then you gotta do one about Bucky and PTSD/trauma + making amends, especially in the new falcon winter soldier series!!!!
I really liked the cinematography of Stark staring at his reflection in the window before he 'kills' / blasts his old self image and commits to becoming Iron Man; so visual and in character for him.
I loved the portrayal of Tony's anxiety attack. I saw this after I started getting them and it was great to be able to point to this movie and say "that's what it's like", and also to feel that somebody understood. I just wish the scene didn't trigger sympathy attacks for me.
Thanks for the vid! I want all the Mavel-related content!!! I related to Tony as someone who is in a STEM-profession. He probs got PTSD because that was the first time he realized "I cannot engineer my way out of this." He could not, nor could he finesse the situation. A lot of the time, in STEM, or when you're regarded as the smartest person in the room, you need to be the one with the answers, and when you don't have them, it can be very foreboding. What he feels are all of his biggest strengths were not enough, now and for a long time. And he used to tinker to cope. When he reached a stage where he not anymore, that's when I realized that yeh... this has turned into a long-haul mental issue for him, and I'm happy they treated his entire journey over the series of films with care and respect.
Thanks for talking about his growth from becoming a narcissisc, to egotist, to ... self-absorbed ... to dad. I will admit, he was not a fave of mine, and I had to take a second look at him for him to grow on me. A lot of peers around me liked him because of his "confidence" when I simply saw a lot of it as puffery, it was based on insecurity, and insecurity is a lot of what I feel drives narcissism.
"Was Cap right?" They were two sides of the same coin, and they HAD to have that confrontation. It saved the world, because Tony was the one there that did end up making the sacrifice play in that film. And they lost in Infinity War becasue they were not on the same page metaphorically [or planet, literally]. They say in friend groups there are assumed roles, Tony and Cap had assumed the Mum and Dad role. Whenever they fought, my anxiety-triggering divorce hairs on my arms raised up. Civil War was difficul to look at, in a good way because of that. And when they reconciled in Endgame, I started crying.
Alan: "Ah, geez, you had to show that one." Me: nods in agreement with tears running down my face.
This was an excellent commentary, can't wait for part two!
"This is 13-years old CGI" me: OMG HAS IT BEEN THAT LONG I'M OLD
Same! Like... I remember seeing this in the theater, and being amazed by it.
So glad you all covered Tony Stark! I love it when people react to different marvel characters and determine if they have real symptoms or if it's overdramatic for the case of the movie. I'd like to recommend anything Loki related because it covers a different side of trauma in my eyes, unwanted by a parent, wanting to prove himself, and in turn becoming what he feared deep down
21:24 I have a notebook with things i wrote down for me to read, in case i feel not good or not like myself. There are like 10 things on the first page, but the first things reads "You are the programmer." That almost always enough to instantly calm me down. I can fully 100% relate to tony stark, getting out of his attack when the kid reminds him that he is a mechanic and he can build something.
I sure would love for you to do Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender.
Seeing Tony struggle and still live, be loved and still be him really helped me at that point in my life. Tony Stark is a character near and dear to my heart💕
18:13 Tony puts ice cold snow on his face and eyes. Cold & wet on the face & eyes can help to calm down overwhelming emotions. It doesn't totally stop them, but it can take them down just a notch and help you think just a little bit more clearly. I didn't know this until I learned about DBT and what it calls STOP & TIPP.
As you guys mentioned PTSD never goes away easily so it makes since that it seems to keep having linger effects on his actions for the rest of the series. He ultimately still has anxiety.
I told myself for so long I didn’t have PTSD from some childhood trauma, but admitting to it has really opened my path to healing.
My husband and I were both deployed, and when we have "bad brain days/moments" we tend to insult each other to break tension and break the mood. literally the only time that we speak poorly to each other and we know that love is behind it.
MY FAVE CHARACTER IN HISTORY OF MOVIES !!!! 😭
I really didn't like the og avengers, there all to "I'm perfect try to be me"
@@spencergeorge4077 What do you mean?
I really liked this movie because that same panic response, I have all the time. Back in high school if I thought about a class or a project, I would break down, couldn't breathe, crying, everything. No one around me understood it. No one believed me that I couldn't control it. This movie helped people understand. Now that I'm older I still have attacks around large emotions like break ups, loss, guilt, ect. I was diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder and depression at 14. I'm 22 now and Borderline Personality disorder is being looked into.
Ooh it would be awesome to know your take on the father-son relationship in another Robert Downey Jr movie called "The Judge" it was so relatabe to see a strained parent-child relationship personally
Yes, this i loved this film
I did a whole research essay when I was 15 on him (my poor baby)
He's just so complicated and so intricate (or whatever the word is) and a lot of that is because he puts up this façade after he has his eyes opened. He still acts the way he did because he knows nobody will really believe him if he acts any different. And part of it also might be that he can't really act any different. ALSO - with that like scene where he hits the glass before going to Gulmira - someone said it was a symbolism for shooting himself because he's shooting his reflection. And also also - part of the reason why he talks his way out of things and pushes through - part of it is because he doesn't want anyone hurt. To him, it doesn't matter if he's hurt, so long as no one else his, he's fine. And then yea plus there's him liking the idea of showing off his smarts.
OKAY IM2 META - that scene where he lands in the Stark Expo and then talks, which is actually 14:55 - remember - that entire scene, he's literally _dying._ Him being excited and smiling and landing in the suit, coming out of the suit, talking and whatever is all apart of his façade - he's literally not enjoying it because he's _dying._ Honestly, a lot of things in im2 are a façade and an act he puts on because again - _he's DYING._ He's preparing for his death by getting Pepper to be CEO and even planning out for Rhodey to take the suit. He knows the arc reactor is slowly killing him so he's planned it out because he has nothing. So actually...I wouldn't say the wormhole is the first time it happens - it's the quickest and definitely the most profound for him, but he definitely felt like he could die because he ran out of ideas of how to save himself. That's what that conversation with Fury is - he doesn't know how to save himself in im2 until he saw that project from the Expo in Pepper's office.
and then also the im3 thing, the way Tony is reacting is also just....really Tony. His reaction to PTSD and his anxiety so yea - exactly what Johnathan said. And that entire movie (im3) is just so aurgh. I hurt I hurt. And honestly it is interesting because yea trauma recovery just...does _not_ exist in the mcu (until like...tfaws) but it still hurts oof. Also...he is a little scared of being a dad because ah...he had a pretty neglectful father. So there's this feeling of I want to be a dad (for Harley, for Peter, for Morgan) but he's still scared about it because he didn't have a great dad. Anyways I could literally talk for hours about him but I'm not because that would be a lot. So yeah...carry on
I'm also going to nonstop petition for a tfaws review because.....*deep breath* bucky ptsd and sam being an empathetic cap
Ever since I found this channel , movies have not been just movies for me anymore. I love what you guys do, I cry all the times. I want to be a therapist despite me studying computing right now. There are a lot of people around me that I want I can help myself included.
Tony is my personal hero. I have an anxiety disorder and have had it for eleven years. Seeing a hero with a similar disorder, go about his day, kick butt, and keep his cool even with his disorder... Gave me power and hope.
I feel a similar way with him and my ADHD, while it’s not canon, he shows a lot of the signs of having ADHD, and it’s so nice to see ADHD in a not silly childish way, but as an adult is likely to experience and present with it.
So awesome to see you talk about this with an awesome character that so many like.
I would love to see you talk about Bucky Barnes (Winter Soldier) and how he deals with his PTSD and trauma as it’s a little different from Tony Stark. Not to mention that Falcon and the Winter Soldier did such an awesome job expanding his character it deserves to be talked about. Hope to see it happen.
I've suffered from a bit of PTSD myself. Whenever this one event from my childhood that was extremely traumatic comes up, I instantly begin to break down and struggle to breathe. My mom gets especially upset whenever she sees me have a panic attack by the mere mention of that event and tries her best to comfort me. I then again began to develop some PTSD during my final year of high school due to constant harsh bullying from this one kid in school who would harass EVERYONE in school (teachers included) and never seemed to learn his lesson. One day, when I tried to calmly stop a fight from breaking out between the bully and the biggest, scariest kid in school who had a notorious temper, the bully started throwing all his insults at me while the rest of the school looked on (it was a small school with only up to 30 students). It got so bad so quickly that I just blacked out at one point and snapped, instinctively slapping the bully before falling to my knees and crying my eyes out, screaming at him "I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU!!!". The bully got mad at me and accused me of slapping him for no reason, even though almost the entire school saw that HE had been the one to escalate things when I tried to stop a fight and that I had just snapped and tried to defend myself from his constant abuse. I didn't even hit him. The rag I was holding at the time (it was the end of the day and we were assigned chores to do to help clean up the school and I was on dusting duty or something that day) just barely brushed against his cheek. The teachers pulled him into a side room and scold him for what he did while the lady who ran the front desk and some of the students I had built up good relationships with tried to comfort me and help me calm down as I was still sobbing and basically having a panic attack. It was the first time the bully made me leave school crying, but it was the worst. My mom just so happened to have been there to pick me up right away and saw how upset I was even before I got into the car. I barely got a word out before she knew that the bully had something to me again to make me so upset and she got out of the car to demand that something was finally done about the bully, threatening to pull me out of school if nothing was done.
I was terrified to go back to school as I didn't want to have to face another day with the bully. However, when I came back, all the kids came up to me and told me that the incident between me and the bully was the final straw and the bully had been expelled. They actually called me a hero and thanked me for standing up for the bully and getting rid of him. Everyone was just done with him. I'm honestly quite surprised that I was the one who got physical confronting the bully as quite a few of the students did have a bit of a reputation or even run ins with the police while I was always pretty quiet and did my best to always follow the rules and be a good girl. I'm not even joking that I was such a goodie-two-shoes that my teachers actually gave me a high-five and laughing their heads off when I told a joke to one of my classmates at one of our teacher's expense, saying that they were glad that I was breaking out of my shell. Because of this reputation I had as the "good student" and everyone clearly seeing that I had been provoked and constantly harassed by the bully, I got off from the whole incident Scott free and my teachers even went out of their way to make sure I was okay and apologizing that things got so bad that I'd react like that. However, even though the bully was finally gone, a part of me still wanted to leave that school and transfer to a new one even though I had less than a semester left of my final year of high school. I just couldn't bear remaining there after that incident. My mom also wanted to transfer me to a different school, but my dad wouldn't allow it due to several things. One of which being that the school my mom and I were wanting me to transfer to was labeled as school for disabled kids. I am autistic and do need some special help with some of my studies, my best friend even attended the school, but my dad was dead set on not letting me go there even though it seemed like such a perfect school for me. To this day, I still wish I could have finished my high school years at the same school as my best friend than a school that was full of so many bad memories during my final year, memories that left me in tears.
After my experiences with PTSD, as well as other mental issues I've been dealing with, I decided to create characters with such issues themselves. I'd be basing it off of some of my experiences as well as other sources so that I can be as respectful as possible when touching upon them and helping others better understand them. It really does sadden me when people keep getting made fun of or are not properly portrayed in media who do suffer from these sorts of things, often resulting in misinformation spreading and accusations or mockery being thrown at people who do truly suffer from them. Even if I can't reach a wide audience with my stories, I still want to help people feel seen and understood. I grew up often participating in autism awareness walks and stuff with my family, so that desire to help spread awareness and be an active helper to those in need has developed so strongly in me over the course of my life. I'm all for helping both those who suffer from these issues and helping those who don't better understand, come to terms, and accept them, even if it's hard.
I just want to comment that I rarely ever give enough praise to the youtube content makers out there because i'm always watching so many different youtube bits for comparing and contrasting what i like to be part of my daily/weekly life.
I want to thank you both for creating the content that you have and i think its worth noting that despite my lack of participation, that this comment is very necessary to give praise to you're work. Thank you.
Thank you!
I will add a personal note to this set of movies and how it helped / hindered my growth. So right before End Game came out I found out my girlfriend who had left for school 4 months ago was cheating on me. Well... I was co-parenting her kid with her dad who had moved in to help while she was at school. And I am not someone who ever wanted kids, but when I started dating this woman and got to know her son I really bonded with him. So... I felt like I was really letting him down by leaving. I bawled in the theater. It was embarrassing. Anyways... what I was able to really take from this is that sometimes we aren't responsible for other people and their decisions. We can try to do our best but at the end of the day we can only do our best. (I know this sounds like I have it all together but I still feel some guilt). Great show! Keep it up!
I like it when Tony Stark has his, what I call, MacGyver moments. All good movies and even TV shows have them. It's a montage of problem-solving, brainstorming, figuring stuff out, even training or fixing things. When Tony is in this mode he is unstoppable and I love how he sort of leans into that across multiple movies.
I'm sure you've got this comment multiple times before, but it's a beautiful thing to illustrate psicology and concepts that might be very complicated with movies because it makes it way easier to understand and the dialogue you guys bring to it it's amazing, i love your videos!
thanks for all your comment ,I will like you to send a direct message to my email so you get more information directly from me. tonystarkbin100@gmail.com❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I had a few moments where the anxiety attack just cut. Sometimes out of the right thing, sometimes because there was something more important to deal with.
It was weird
I used to hate watching videos where the people filmed themselves talking about stuff, but with all of the AI videos that hit youtube like a tsunami, I started truly appreciate the real people who truly care enough to put the effort in. I'm so glad I found this channel. I'm watching on the PC at home now but love listening to videos like this at work, It's perfect for work
I haven't even watched the video but you guys... You're the rare few good reaction channels. There are so many garbage reactions which just reuploads original content, to point you guys should have new name, but then the reaction channels will try to absorb that name too
Wow, thank you!
Tony learned in Iron Man 3, that not the suits are Iron Man, HE is Iron Man. (He says so right after he destroyed the suits he built because of his PTSD and he got the surgery to remove the reactor from his chest, something he arguably didn't do before because he felt like it was a part of his identity as Iron Man).
The next time we see him (in Age of Ultron) he jumps into the fight at the afterparty (Which was the working title for that movie and a nice nod back at Iron Man 2) while not wearing any suit.
12:55 One thing I don't hear nearly enough people talking about is how they both predicted each others fate. At the end of endgame, Tony laid down his life. He made the sacrifice play to save the rest of the universe. And Steve proved that it's his integrity that is what makes him special. Both when he stands against thanos's army himself, and when he makes the eventual decision to give up the life he made for himself to go back in time. It puts me in my feels every time
Right. Also the thing that makes Steve great is that he was always the reluctant hero. He wasn't the bigshot "I am so great saving the world and everyone needs to thanks me!" guy. That was more Tony - esoeciallly in the early movies. Steve was literally the guy who just wanted to fight bullies do his best, but if he had a choice would rather have simple life.
I wonder sometimes if Tony can even go to therapy, because I get the feeling that in that universe it's impossible for him to do anything without it being leaked to the press. So if he wanted to go to therapy there would be a risk of it being leaked to the media and also the risk of the therapist leaking info the the media.
There’s always a risk but it really wouldn’t make sense for any therapist to leak Stark’s info to the media because that would be very damaging (to therapist profession and patient confidentiality ish)
I wonder if being part of the avengers, if nick fury has protocols in place for what they have to deal with as a result of protecting the world.
After I witnessed my brother get shot and murdered, I’ve been dealing with PTSD and anxiety.
A trick/ lifesaver that has helped me when dealing with it is that you have to realize you’re mentality for that moment is in the past.
I literally have to ground myself by sitting down. Breathing technique. And finding 5 things I’m thankful for in that very moment in time. So I might find something that’s my favorite color. Or think about five people I have right now that I’m thankful for. Or look at my hands and realize “I’m here. And you can make a change now.”
You just get better at coping and helping others out. You will cry and you will feel hurt, but you can always make a change to better future situations.
@Tasia Alexis. Thanks for this. I’ve been struggling with PTSD and it’s triggered a resurgence in my OCD issues. I appreciate the grounding advice. I hope you’ve found peace.
@@The_Lucky_Lily glad to have helped 😁 and thank you
You got this!
And hope your days are getting better each day. One day at a time
When they said that Tony acting like he isn't putting his life in danger because he's smart enough to save himself is him being a narcissist, it reaaly hit home. Now I'm identifying the traits in my personality that might be narcissistic. I usually act like problems aren't existant because (of denial, yes, but also...) I've always been taught that I was bright and that I had a destiny in front of me, so I usually act like I'll find the solution at some point and I ignore the panic and organization that normal people go through. Thanks for putting that into perspective, it's not a GREAT issue in my life but it definitely help, guys ❤
Really*
I've actually had a similar experience to the "build something" moment. I was in a fabrication contest in front of a bunch of people. I was struggling HARD with an attack. Once I started the actual work of making, I was out of it. Not quite as completely or drastically as Tony but somewhat. I haven't watched Iron Man III since I got better control. This episode had me in literal tears. Mostly in the realization of how bad it was and how far I've come.
I have PTSD from past abuse, so I know how horrible and intense a PTSD panic attack is. You can feel like you're dying or like it's never gonna end and it can be terrifying.
You guys NEED to react to Studio Ghibli's Howl's Moving Castle. It is such an amazing film.
Splendid Episode! I think films these day starting to show quite a realistic symptoms of mental illness, because with Hollywood budgets, it wouldn't be hard. However, I think one of the reason that the healing parts in films are quite rushed, and sometimes unrealistic was, because of time limit, and films are still films, Hollywood still want it to be dramatic, so it would a bit hard to show the extremely slow progress of healing.
I have yet to see Iron Man 3, but MAN. Robert Downey Jr's display of anxiety is so realistic. I remember doing those exact movements when I was having panic episode years ago.
you two work so well together
Omg since we’re down the Marvel wormhole pls react to dealing with grief in WandaVision!!! I don’t mind clearing out my day if you put out a 1 hr video about it 👀
You guys doing a video on the character that made me realize (years ago) I in fact have PTSD, and that what I was going through, was an actual thing and not something I just was doing for attention. Oof, I don't know if I am ready to cry today.
I wasn't there for my cousin when he needed me the most. I didn't know how to reach out to him because it seemed like drugs had too tight of a hold on him. After he died I took it personal of course. I blamed myself distanced myself from family. I couldn't look my grandmother in the eyes. I was ashamed of myself. I heard a quote or an idea from someone. Think of characteristics from a loved on that passed that you loved about them and implement that into your characteristics.That will keep them alive. I Admired how open my cousin was how he attracted people seamlessly. I always admired that so I took it upon myself to be more honest more accepting but not a fool as well. It will never be the same now that he's gone but I'm thankful he was here. Thats all ima say hope everyone is good and if not it will get better gotta find that pathway to better days.
I think the reason it's possible to snap someone out of a panic attack like that, because you're reminding them that they have the tool they need to make themselves safe, tried and true, easy to do. The sense of relief can be euphoric.
Ahhh this is such a good topic!! I can’t wait!
Having an anxiety attack and then snapping out of it has happened multiple times with me. Usually it's something a friend says or some part of me hits back with a counter-argument. Sometimes something just destroys the thought process and you can reset. Most of the time it doesn't but it's nice when it does.
I haven’t seen these movies in so long, and my jaw dropped seeing the scene where Tony has the panic attack with the kid and he runs over to the snow and puts it on his face to cool off! A close relative of mine has been opening up a lot of old traumas in therapy that have been pushed down for so long and having some resulting panic and anxiety. His go-to de-panic method is ice (plus meds)! His ideal is getting a big bowl, filling it with ice and water, and submerging his hands up past his wrist. One of the first attacks he had in this recent period reminded me so much of the diner scene too, he got super short of breath, immediately felt like he just needed to cool his body down and ran out of the house where the temp was cold, stripping off outer layers. Huge, renewed respect for these movies.
When Tony "snapped out of it" cause his light-bulb moment so real for me. An it not to say it means my ptsd is gone. It just after hearing just right thing or when i FINALLY able have that moment of clarity it's like....
It's like if face down on pillow an suffocating, but that moment of clarity makes it click "oh yeah....i can just..sit up an breath"
I gonna stop i feel like making no sense😅
No, that makes perfect sense
@@sunstar8782 ph thank goodness 🤣😅😅 I thought sounded like crazy person
Honestly I watch this to feel I'm not alone in the world since I have no car and no one really visits me. I don't know if it's working but I wanna thank you guys for being here either way.