The Philosophy of Punishment
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- Опубліковано 25 сер 2024
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It is ok to set boundaries and have consequences
Not only ok but necessary.
@@undervine without them you take a chance on raising a monster.
Yes we all need this. A child need this otherwise there is no consequences and that will lead to bad actions down the road.
This goes in conjunction with coding and everything that involves it.
@@FemFantastic2.0 It sounds to me that you just said having boundaries and punishing your children makes sure that they will not become "monsters". This idea is obviously wrong.
In other words if you tell your kids not to do something and they do it and you don’t buss they ass then they will continue to do what you told them not to do until there is some form repercussions. Be a parent not a mom/dad just Paying rent.
Kids will push the boundaries til you pull them up, that's how they know where they are, & feel secure there; if you don't provide reasonably clear & consistent boundaries they feel unloved, & ultimately, worthless; because they weren't worth your effort to guide them away from harm.
Pathological boundaries provide the same anxiety calming effect; so reinforcement of negative attention seeking, which results from failure to provide positive reinforcement, creates pathological adults.
Boundaries are critical, but positive reinforcement is the best way to define them, or at least a high positive to negative ratio.
Yes! Children need the black and white so that when they are older they can handle the gray areas with wisdom.
Well said 👏
Understanding 'no' helps children learn boundaries, but it may also save them from harm or even death. Another word for them to learn is 'stop'.
Learned of great Bible passage from gifted preacher, speaking around Father’s Day. Preacher speaking about parenting, but passage has further application to an important reason for significant shortcomings of US justice system. To paraphrase Ecclesiastes 8:11: if a person is found guilty, in a just manner, the punishment must follow swiftly, or more bad ideas ‘of the heart’ will follow. So very true, at so many societal levels.
"No" - the one word a narcissist can NEVER handle.
NO! Set Boundaries: Fair,
CLEAR, & Follow Through! 🕊
I think no also must mean involve teaching the child the reason behind the no. Ex: kid drawing on walls--told no, backed up with appropriate punishment if repeated, but also teach the need to not damage/misuse property (in addition to obeying parents).
always detailed, precise, and brilliant 👏 JP!
" NO" is a complete sentence....!!!
That tie thoo
I have a hard time teaching myself this
Having a harder time teaching three teenage girls this, exactly what I needed this morning.
When you have kids its going to lead to problem in the future. To yourself at least you have control over your actions to the option you choose.
My take for my 7 year old ( I’ve been doing since he was 2) is simple, when I say no, there’s a deep story/lesson/meaning behind and learn to take no for an answer and an easier way through life. All actions have consequences and whatever you do or say wrong (or even right) will always be used against you in this era of cancel culture. Live life happy and be content, why try to do foolish things or #challenges (that is youth isn’t it😂) and then waste your life getting punished and cancelled and you won’t always get a 2nd chance nor apology will always be enough. Just walk away a last laughing winner in other windows of opportunities of life.
I had 3 rules.
1. What you are doing wrong.
2. How long you have to stop.
3. What's going to happen if you don't.
You can never bluff.
You'll have kids that know you mean what you say and feel safe and loved.
We’ve all seen how time outs and everyone gets a trophy worked out.
you are an excellent analyst.
Thank you jordan ❤
My sister (psychology graduate) no kids but raised mine with me as a member of my single motherhood tribe (it takes a village) said years after she wasn’t nannying my son any longer and realized he had adopted some nuances of life and I was upset “you have to make the crime fit the punishment”. She was so right because in every moment of anger I wanted to take away a week or more of “fun” or “enjoyment “ in trying to set boundaries. When in actuality it was a mistake in a moment in time where my sons mistake was compounded with my illusions of crime and punishment in the moment due to indivisible and individual stressors most likely. I changed my perception and it’s been better for my son and myself.
No needs to bnbe said to politicians more with swift consequences for non-compliance
I want one of those ties!
All I have to say is, Wait until your father gets home.
Beautifully said
Rules without consequences are not rules, they are suggestions (and) suggestions do not absolutely need to be followed.
If a crime is not swiftly punished there feet will rush into sin.
Would be great if you could finish that thought, Dr. petersen.
He’s correct ✅
Consequences to crossing clearly marked boundaries. Yes
That's why kids of single mother households do worst in life.
My aunt is a single mother, and used to and still screems to her daughter, but never carries through her threats. Thanks to my aunt's brother, who is so chill, but don't take bullshit from no one, my cousin is not a hoe or a drug addict.
Not necessarily. I was a single mom to my daughter from the time she was 5. She’s now 39 and one of the best people I’ve ever known. I had to do it all and I knew I had to be consistent and stick with what I told her. She was held to account for her behavior. That’s the main lesson that’s needed in life. Among so many others.
@@grannakd2316 Look up the statistics about single mothers and incarceration rates.
Just gotta avoid passing along the "because you deserve it" mentality. Punishments are Justice by the letter of the law. Consequences are rehabilitation by the spirit of the law.
There is no smarter person on this planet than Jordan B. Peterson. At least, I have not found one.
No means a pit is around the corner and you could fall in. The punishment should be a poke into the right (better) direction. Or it could be letting them fall into the pit but what good is done unless you rescue them from the pit?
3 x no = yes
Haters once again proving they only learn things through 5 seconds clips on the internet instead of actually listening to what's being discussed. Tik Tok egos lol
Peterson has his own philosophy. he draws on others, but his work is mostly his own.
I’m yay old, I I’ve never associated punishment with the word “no”.
Well isn't that the power of suggestion
As a parent when I say no I also say what is yes to an alternative to the No. Children should be given an alternative to the No so that that alternative is a better choice if you just say no without presenting a better choice including behavior then the child is left confused
I like that. Thanks for sharing!
Exactly... An option should be presented. "Your behavior will win a prize. The prize is your choice" 😊
The child must learn to make decisions. For each decision there is a prize.
So his point is he believes the only reason anyone doesn't do anything is fear of punishment. Which doesn't account for the myriad things that we don't do because we have personal moral objections to them which have no punishable affect if you did them. A simple example is vegetarianism, it's not illegal to eat meat yet people choose not to for their own choice. Not because society tells them not to, not because a "god" tells them not to or because a law tells them not to.
No and stick to it. Sit through thier tears and thier angry. Emphasized with them. Tell them you are not being fair but the answer still no you can't do this to yourself or me.
People might take this concept out of context 😒
Yeah not sure I agree with these premises... No is communicating that there are parameters, and no means you're going beyond those parameters. The consequence of no, is a separate process of communication which is not inherent in the concept of no itself.
Anyone got the link to the full interview?
Unfortunately not available. It's on the daily wire. Subscription material.
Punishment vs. Discipline
I disagree
I would love to punish him.
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Chicago riots???
No means no no no 🤷
I never hit my children never yell never say a bad word.but my no 's are real.and they know if i say no i mean it.i dont need to be verbal just a look and they know it.but my husband on the other hand 🙄
Why are you afraid of being weak??? Wtf kind of question is that?!? Smh
What "no" mean. What what mean what mean mean. Useless philosoher
what does No mean? really jordan?
What was he referring to, "This is what we're attempting to do here"? Out of context it isn't interesting to say.
You have idea of the context do you?
I love how he says so much but yet so little. He just speaks in a way that makes him sound more intelligent than he actually is, he's not an idiot, but he's not super brains like some people think
He constantly having to dumb down concepts for the average person to understand. He's used to having discussions with tards that can't understand the topics being brought up.
I don't know of anyone claiming JBP has a superior intellect. They do, however, recognize his many hours of interacting with people through his practice and then analyzing patterns he's observed.
@@vinlago True, not everyone can analyze patterns. But the ones that can or intellectually Superior. At least to the ones that are unable to do so. So if he's not intellectually Superior, what good is he? And how can we trust that his analyzation of patterns that he has observed is correct?
What he said was perfectly clear to me and sounds pretty dense with information.
So maybe you were just not smart enough to get it...
@@immanuelcunt7296 nothing of what I said alluded to him not being clear in what he's trying to say. So either that was a projection or a strawman, pick your poison.
I think you're the only one here having trouble comprehending what somebody is saying. because what I'M saying he says a lot but yet so little, as if his words and ideas are deep and grandiose, when they're really quite simplistic. Black & white. Not that is point is clear, I understand his points, they're just not grandiose.
Very wise words.
Yh but jp is depressed so how ever he was raised I don't trust it