Interview With A Murderer: Life After Prison
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- Опубліковано 28 чер 2024
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▼ Timestamps ▼
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0:0:00 Anthony life story
0:26:00 Forgiving his mom
0:33:00 Being lazy
0:42:30 Dr. K's thoughts
0:48:00 Loneliness, friendzone, and relationships
0:55:10 How does conditioning work?
1:21:00 What does he want in a relationship?
1:30:40 Trying to impress others
1:40:00 How to move forward in life
1:58:30 Is therapy necessary for Anthony?
2:05:00 Interview end
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All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.
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The fact that a drug addict woman that ran over her child got to go home with him, and that a 16 year old with a 20 year prison sentence never got a single therapy session is an indicator that there is something seriously wrong with the system.
The system isn't built for the people. It's to keep the rich rich. Laws were put in place to protect capital, and anything that's in place in the system is hardly ever good and just.
Sorry to say but this is pretty American....
@@gnaarW that’s probably what they meant by “the system”
@@gnaarW It has nothing to do with being "American", women all around the world can mistreat their kids (or any man for that matter) without anyone baiting an eye, including my own country, Argentina, in which two years ago some piece of 5h17 hit his own son to death with the help of a friend, both of them were feminists. The kid's name was Lucio Dupuy and nobody took him away from that worthless creature, she did what she wanted with a human life and nobody stopped her until he was already dead. The cause of this is gynocentrism, it has nothing to do with the US, the right, the left or any of that nonsense because all of them promote the special treatment of women at the cost of men's suffering one way or the other, this is a global problem and people just don't get it
We normal people create killers
I've always known I got pretty lucky with the life lottery... But hearing Anthony's life story just sorta puts it into perspective and helps me appreciate that.
Lower MiddleClass American and up is like winning the lottery.
I second that
@@michaeldunn8972 my family is top 5% but my childhood was fkt up..
@Thomas Serrano It's not only socio-economics, but they play a huge part. Poverty is in many cases the reason families are fucked up.
@Thomas Serrano True my Fam is all normal.
Man it feels like the more I learn about human psychology the more I realize the prison system is absolutely fundamentally backwards in its approach, and actively breeds criminality instead of reducing it
I know part of the changes you may want but don't forgot how much costs it would talk to globally implement
It’s engineered for money. The American prison system was never made for punishment nor rehabilitation, it is a designed alternative to slaves.
@@khakim9448 what are you trying to tell us sir.
A crime is fundamentally a failure of the system, making the "opportunity" or temptation even possible or lacking in widsom/education, prisons are garbage bins in a way. Changing a garbage bin doesn't really do anything if the wanted function is still the same. This whole topic is so vast and complex and most people don't care, so it's accepted. Of course, this is not absolutely spot on, but I believe this perspective has some merits.
@@khakim9448 you know its easier to implement than you think.
Really would like an update on his life, Hope he's doing better.
+1
same
Same!
You can find an update on his life, guess who you can't get an update on? The person he murdered.
@@ridleyroid9060 christ, shut up
This man doubts himself so much. He murdered someone. Went to prison. Has hardly any family, barely anything left. Dude has a 4.0 GPA, in college and still trying to make a life for himself... Holy crap man. I couldn't survive what he went through.
EDIT: The amount of people who want this man to suffer after he clearly opened himself up to scruitiny of things he KNOWS hes wrong about, even if he tries to justify it, is just absolutely disgusting and sad. This man deserves support to go and seek professional help after what hes done and what hes gone through. He deserves a chance at redemption and to learn from his mistakes and be a better person. I hope all of those people can hopefully get help when they feel they don't deserve it, just like this man, because you people clearly are troubled as well and also need help. I will not shame this man for opening up, being vulnerable to things he KNOWS are wrong, and trying to be better from it. You shouldn't either. Its basic human decency and respect, which I am just learning now, TONS OF YOU DON'T HAVE, but are COMPLETELY virtue signaling that you DO have it.
The dude lied a lot about his academics. My bullshit detector went off hard whenever he mentioned “quantum physics.”
He also was also antisemitic.
@@jacob9673 clearly you dont know what you're talking about! lol!
@@phantoms8391 .. did you watch the video?
@@jacob9673 lol
@@jacob9673 You also cannot read minds! Go figure!
Almost teared up here. He is in his 40s and has maintained a CGA of 4 in college so far. He is indeed intelligent. Imagine the life he could've had if only he were to be born in a family where the mother is ready and capable to be a good parent
Or in a country with better and more accessible safety nets. So that someone like him did not suffer through such an awful environment.
WHILE HIGH
Or with a present and caring father, too.
Once again WHILE FUCKING HIGH. My dude has skills yo
That's great honestly that he's trying but getting a job with a violent charge is near impossible now.
i didnt think that i as a 22 year old woman could ever relate to a man who's spent years in prison, my heart goes out to him and im rooting for him to find his true self
Quite strange honestly to hear someone saying they spent almost as long as you've been alive in a prison and they are able to make a recovery from there it's rather inspiring
@@jplayzow it might not even be less if you include the juvie part
@@jplayzow dude he is a genius. if only life was fair.
@@jplayzowwhat recovery. He is totally broken... probably c-ptsd.
Enjoying the cock 🐔 carousel 🎠
This guy is too good with words and has too many stories to not be a writer. I feel like he would write some really in depth work
Hes definitely got the demons to be a writer
I would love to read his autobiography and tell of the stories he couldn't tell here.
@@humourlessjester3584agreed, i feel that he has a very interesting perspective on a lot of things many may not have experienced, but also a great way of describing things in life that aren't often talked about.
I was crying the entire first 15 minutes, but was enjoying fully none the less. I always respect a good story, and story teller.
Nah, you are underestimating the level of skill to be a writer
Listening to Anthony tell the story of his childhood has to be one of the most heart breaking things. No child deserves that, especially not from their supposed protectors. There really needs to be some kind of system in place for kids AND adults that grew up in extremely abusive situations. Shitty insecure parents breed terrified, confused, insecure kids and it's a major danger to society. All kids deserve a chance to love themselves and to live fulfilling lives. All of them.
I completely agree and it shocked me how abusive households are way more common than i thought and some dont even get punished by law.
@@chrisrc9232 "some" I think it's most. It's part of the price we pay as society for the sake of freedom. Systemic oversight in how parents raise children carries large risks in terms of freedom of thought. Usually the oversight we do have is implemented through social control, but there are a lot of situations where that doesn't work how we want it to.
@@ThisIsTheBestAnime took me a while to piece together what you meant but i see what u mean. There is the sacrifice of personal freedom in a household if the problem of domestic abuse is to be solved.
And often abuse victims become abusers themselves so it becomes a repeating cycle
Although I agree its important to treat the "symptoms" and ease the pain of the "patients", I think it is far more important to uproot the cause of the "sickness". Most people only see Anthony's as an abuser, a problem, garbage in human society, but really they are victims too, victims of our current societal structure and political and economical systems. We need to see why and how do we create so many abusers and addicts, we need to listen to their stories and try to make steps towards prevention and not just treatment.
As a psychology student without any clinical practice, I sincerely appreciate Dr.K's videos in order to get insights into different cases you could have with clients.
Ikr , he is great :)
are you russian, by any chance?
So true get to watch something interesting and revise at the same time
get as good as him mate. people need practitioners like him. there are a lot out there that are crap. be one of the good ones.
Similar background here and I agree. Dr K. is providing an invaluable resource and I love his interview style.
Sending some brotherly love from a Jewish man.
My heart absolutely goes out to this man. So much grief and guilt, but also self awareness and a yearning to to find hope, love and a ultimately a life purpose.
Some kind advice to Anthony: Pursue computer programming if for no other reason than to get more income which will give you more opportunities to adventure and take care of yourself. Go to therapy, travel, and find an opportunity to help others. I have confidence that you will eventually find love.
Wishing you success in your quests.
You're gonna be really disappointed midway through the video.
@@Weykpotis fr LMFAO
He's got an iron cross tattoo lol
@@Weykpotis that's clearly why he mentioned he's Jewish lol
@@Weykpotisno . Some people are adults and realize that hate comes from somewhere , and don’t necessarily blame the person but their environment .
In fact an object of someone’s hate showing compassion is the NUMBER ONE way to eradicate their hateful ideals .
Nobody seems to understand that these days . They want cancellation, and reciprocated hate for the individual with hateful views. When that will never solve a problem, just make it worse .
Holy fuck I can relate to this guy in almost every way minus the anti-semitism, murder, and sciatica but seriously I’d give this guy the biggest bear hug
this has copypasta potential.
me too but im jewish so i dont think hed appreciate the hug too much
@@uslph. just don’t mention it and I think you’ll be alright lol
@@MathiasORauls True, I think he sees jews as more of a systemic thing than an actual group of people, based on what he said.
@@astrofish6163 it definitely seems that way now that you mention it
“Hindsight is useful, but foresight is better” great quote
Very similar to this saying
“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward” -Kierkegaard
Man's such an eloquent speaker
I read it as foreskin at first, very strange initial reaction.
@@parkguard2 Sounds like something he could say 😆
@@gaaberu5728 oh yeah forskin is better lmao, I read it the same too and laughed 😂
Jesus Christ. This is one of the most heart wrenching stories I've heard in a while. Its sad that people tell guys like this to "pull themselves up by their bootstraps" when they have no boots to begin with. I'm glad this man is fortunate enough to come to terms with his past.
You were at 199. I don't give a ****.
You got a like from me. 👍
The irony of it all being pulling yourself up by your bootstraps impossible anyway
@Tala Elise I meant the expression itself, it is impossible to pull yourseld up by your bootstraps.
@Tala Elise he definitely utilized resources correctly, but usually when dudes are abused and go through the system like this, they don't end up in college with a nice house.
@Tala Elise I didnt see the full thing yet, by the way. I think it's impressive he can even discuss his past at such length at the first rate, takes strength
One of the most difficult things to do is to not hastily judge someone that admits to being a "virulent anti-Semite" but watching Dr. K has taught me not to instantly shutoff someone like that, that I should at least hear them out. It's amazing how he can do this no matter who he is speaking with. Most people are not like that.
???????????????????????? what the actual fuck HAHA
it's a really important thing to learn that a lot of people unfortunately don't understand. "Don't judge a book by it's cover" is such a cheesy phrase, and yet it's absolutely right; and a lot of people can be easy to write it off when they see a cover that's negative to them. I wish more people can understand that, so that everyone would be more conversational rather than being hostile all the time.
I learned this while role-playing as Waluigi on Facebook. Not even kidding, the alt-right has great memes but you have to learn to talk to and understand them to not go insane to get your dank meme fix.
@@spiderplant work in construction and it’s filled with alt right libertarians. It helps me learn ways to communicate with them without instantly judging and shutting down all of their opinions.
I'm like that, I guess. I've paused just after he said that, and am deciding whether to finish (I trust Dr. K to recognize how much that matters), or find some cartoons to watch.
Despite everything he's been through, he's impressively in touch with his emotions.
because he relives them when he remembers them. He has BPD. He is very emotional. Yes there are also people who become emotionally flat from trauma.
Remarkable indeed. Still humane.
@@hulamei3117 no
Hi Mo k hi Mo ikk
@@hulamei3117 He's an animal
people who murder others , are human beings, there are complex situation , some people are put in difficult situation, some people enter fly or fight mode and when they wake up from the adrenaline rush they see a body. Mental sickness , and so many other things can happen.
Only time when i found murders absolutely horrendous is when they do it because they like it or for fun or for money or status, etc , those people are lost maybe forever
I feel like I just watched a movie. This gentleman not only is exyremely honest about his own story but he's also a pretty good storyteller
I think Anthony luckily has a chance at becoming a normal member of society, but you should really think critically about his story.
Notice how he describes in perfect details all the bad events that happened to him, but when it's time to talk about his crime suddenly it's over in 10 seconds in a story that doesn't make sense.
Notice how he never once did anything bad when describing his childhood. He was a good student, worked a job since he was 12, was bullied for no reason and never retaliated, his mom would abuse him (which is obviously wrong) but never with any hint of a reason, he stayed at his brother's and had nothing to do but never once associated with the gang, there were magically no jobs available but he never did anything illegal to get by, he was never violent - until of course that one moment that he got a gun (magically), and blasted a guy in the face for no good reason. That was the first bad thing he told us about and took responsibility for - and even then, the victim had some sort of weapon and antagonizing (despite admitting he wasn't a threat when he shot him).
So, yea, the story does not make any sense of course, and he was most definitely not honest about the things he did wrong. That doesn't mean the rest of the conversation isn't valuable, it most certainly is, and it is in the best interest of society that Anthony has a good chance at life and doesn't become a mass murderer in a synagogue. It's just important to understand that you are hearing only one side of this complex story, told with obvious and necessary biases.
@@ShpanMan the way he described how he shot the gang guy because of his brother didnt seem skipped over at all, it was damn detailed.
@@ShpanMan ^This exactly
@@mejdlocraftci I hope you are joking. He literally said his brother was "jumped", yet the other gang members came back "without him" and he took a gun out (where is this gun dispenser?) to "rescue him", and then that part of the story was completely skipped.
Then he said "later on", after sleeping over it he magically had a gun again (after never interacting with a gun in his life from his stories), and woke a man up from sleep who magically also had a weapon, and then after saying "do you have a problem?" raised the gun and shot him in the face. The 14 year old gf woke up and asked what happened and he said "I don't know"...
This is a hilariously bad story that doesn't add up, obviously hiding the fact he was participating in gang matters, and obviously handled guns before.
Again, I hope he gets better, but you should not blindly trust a version of a story from a convicted murderer.. I suggest you watch some crime-related UA-cam channels.
@@ShpanMan why I should I watch crime related channels. Its more like you are under the impression of this being a crimi channel. I doubt anyone came here (except you) for a detailed explaination of how he stabbed someone in prison
Have a great day
My respect for Dr. K. has grown even more. He doesn't care about the image or negative impact it might have on the channel or Healthy Gamer. He uploaded it and gave all people the chance to let us see what could be the case and the trauma behind crimes. Mad respect for both.
Explain please how does this interview affect Dr. K?
@@eax2010EA having an anti-semitic criminal in your channel might be kinda controversial 🤷♀️
I think the comment above has answered your question.
@@eax2010EA ppl can get mad so easily u never know. Why didnt dr.k condemn him right when he confess being anti semantic and all
Not sure if it will but i wouldnt be suprise if twitter make a big fuss out of it.
@@331Dylan people forget that the outside world also uses youtube and that the echo chamber that is twitter has no meaning to a lot of people
Man this hits so hard. I don't resonate with the gamer depression stuff, but this... This is shit I had to deal with. I didn't have it as bad but one of my best friends, his moms was a crackhead, we caught her banging one of our other friends when we were 13. She used to smoke crack and meth with us when we were kids. He's dead now, drug overdose. It's so easy to write him off as just another druggie who bit the dust. But to me, knowing what we went through... All I saw was an inevitable end too bullshit we never got help for...
poor man.... people have a reason they use drugs
The majority of my family is heavily addicted to drugs. Only reason I won't touch them is because there isn't even a curiosity for me. I *know* what drugs do after watching it destroy a lot of the lives of people I love.
Always fighting and arguing, overdoses and having to drive immediate family members to the hospital when I could finally drive. Hearing how one of my siblings almost got put into a body bag before they finally resuscitated them. It's hell.
I also got to grow up with a schizophrenic mother. Every house we lived in was haunted, she was constantly being followed and stalked and every little ache we had was cancer or cause for great concern.
Life is a fucking kick in the balls sometimes. Being lonely and socially awkward sucks but yeah, his story connects in a different way. It's a lot more soul crushing.
@@edwardseverinsen5598 I’m very very very glad for you that seeing them that way has made you have no interest in drugs. That’s not often the case. Good for you
@@MisterK-YT I appreciate it. The only bad habit I picked up for a while was smoking but that's mostly because of irresponsible adults in my life like my aunt giving me cigarettes when I was 6 years old.
But I joined the air force about 3 years ago and have been on the straight and narrow ever since then.
@@edwardseverinsen5598 no one joins the military and stops smoking lmaol
I love these “sessions” because it almost seems like you get more feedback and perspective out of these 2 hours sessions than 5 years of 50 min sessions 😮
Agree!
This is why group therapy is so good. You learn so much through other people's stories and see things in them that you'd be too blinded by self loathing to see in yourself.
Man, watching someone talk about how he murdered someone, empathizing with him strongly, thinking he's actually a pretty normal and reasonable person that got dealt a bad hand.... Then hearing him casually say that he strongly detests my existence by association and refuses to budge / elaborate on that - *that's a hell of a trip.*
I know right? Talk about whiplash
The worst part is that he likely wouldn’t have turned out that way if he had received the proper love care affection and guidance he never got in his formative years
Yeah, prison + iron cross tattoo and I was waiting for him to say something along those lines
@@nudibranch8659 he likely didnt have much of a choice; it's either join the gang of your skin color, and with that, protection and allies, or go solo and risk being a victim to everyone.
Ugh same. I was loving this guy and then "antisemitism" happened and then "I'm a 3 looking for an 8", "bridge trolls" 🙄🤦🏾♀️
Edit: I knew there were many nazi sympathizers and misogynists in the the gaming community but WOW have my comments brought the insects out of the woodwork.
Damn, I just started, and it seems like all it took was someone to ask him "Can you tell me about yourself?" for his entire dam to burst.
He's probably never really had the opportunity to lay it all down on the table. Damn.
I can relate a lot especially the isolation / being an outcast altho im no convicted criminal. Ppl are judgemental AF and all he NEEDED was just a single kind soul to listen and talk to AKA a genuine friend. Dude needs a big hug, for real.
I'd expected inmates and people that are just out to frequent some kind of sessions as you see with addicts or people with severe eating disorders. But I guess listening to him that that's not a regular thing after all.
That's why I hate when people say that prisoners should treated badly . 98% of them are just broken people with terrible childhoods . I had kinda bad childhood from economical problems to my parents being alcoholic . The only reason I didn't turn bad is because I always had hobbies that would take my problems away like video gamed , movies , books etc but some kids dont have even that .
It just goes to show how a little kindness and being willing to listen can be EVERYTHING to somebody if you just give them the chance to express it.
Hurt people hurt people. How you grow up shapes you a lot. This man went through hell and acted on anger. But after 20 years, he seems really respectful and introspective. I sympathize for him. Watching him reflect and grieve, it's just heartbreaking. I wish him the damn best!!
The opposite is more true. Hurt people help hurt people cause whe know how it feels.
@TropicalSimracer it depends om who someone chooses to be
@@jwillied1326 indeed
Anthony: I'm a pretty virulent anti-Semite
Dr K: Are you lonely?
Amazing content 🤣
Lol
Can we get a better look at that iron cross tattoo lol
Hearing his story when he was a child just breaks my heart. As a mother, honestly as a human being, I want to just give him a hug. No child should have to endure abuse. Especially from their parents.
Shit I felt the same and I'm a 23 yo dude. Can't remember the last time I felt those tears well up.
@@davidquintanilla9330 facts, everyone can benefit from a good hug during hard times
This was interesting because I had a lot of compassion for him and felt a ton of empathy for what he went through... But I am also Jewish and eventually he mentions being an open antisemite. It was weird to see my perception of him change in an instant. I felt betrayed because I was extending goodwill and empathy towards him and suddenly he turns around and basically says that he hates me despite never having met me. Such a whiplash that created a ton of different emotions for me and also a lot of sadness.
At one point he says he hates "The Jews" but not Jewish people, and that's very telling. He hates "The Jews" as an entity - an entity that doesn't really exist. In fact his hatred is probably barely even related to Jewish people at all, but he's had to learn that to survive prison.
I firmly believe if you met him he would have no problem with you. This is how a lot of bigots are, really - just waiting for a chance to improve psychologically.
I think this is something he learned in prison from the new Nazi inmates, but he doesn’t actually know any Jewish people in real life. His feelings probably would change if once he actually met and befriended some Jewish people and sees they are not the boogiemen they were painted as.
It certainly didn't help my perception of him.
My feeling was immediately: I wanna have a talk with him about that. I wanna know how he got there cause he seems to think he has good reasons for it and generally seems like a guy who tries to be nice.
Like... trying to think all the bs through that i usually just dismiss i actually looked up the usual justification for antisemitism and i can see how you'd end up an antisemite if you took a few wrong turns in your reasoning ... I'd find it interesting hear how he practically got there and I can't help but feel some savior syndrome well up in my desire to get him off the train of thought that got him there.
Really? You’re ready to forgive him for murder, but not ready to forgive him for having hate in his heart?
@@D1sc0rd- he still has the hate. He's hopefully processed his murder
His life story is making me cry...his perserverance, his natural intellect, if he was born under my circumstances im sure he could have led such a fulfilling life. I wish him the best, and i only wish i could help him
This made me cry as well. The sheer determination to keep going is an inspiration. Wishing him all the best!
This guy might've done something bad but he's more willing to bring "positive" change into his life than a lot of "normal" people I know (myself included) that are just waiting for the end of it.
This comment was the straw that caused tears...if that makes sense. "Just waiting for the end of it" is that really so common? I relate to this so much but never could put it into words. So pathetic.. God I hate myself
Both of you guys should seriously consider seeing a doctor and/or therapist. It saved my life after becoming homeless and being forced to see a psychiatrist.
Taking another mans life is not just "somethin bad" jesus christ . If u didnt seem like u were depressed i would have insulted u so bad
@@ianokan9120 nah its "something bad"
@@ianokan9120 Murder isn't right and I might be missing the point of the lessons of this man's struggles and journey to find redemption from his issues but c'mon. Let's be rational here, we're not talking about Ted Bundy. He shot a legitimate child molesting gang member degenerate who was going to beat his head in with a crowbar because his ego was hurt. I don't think he's beyond forgiveness.
despite all of the horrible things that his mother has done, the fact that he still has understanding for her behavior is incredible. Truly shows what kind of person he is, a fucking strong, empathetic man who was delt horrible cards in life.
Maybe, or maybe he's just attached to her because it's his mum and wants to make excuses for her as many child abuse victims do
I don't think that's him specifically, though. Children often feel that way for their parents. Because, it's literally their parents.
Why the fuck do people like that create humans?! Why would somebody like that even consider having kids?!
There are contraceptives, plan B, or more drastic pregnancy termination options
Yet people get suprised when these people start shooting other people. Nobody helps these victims, they get cast out further and further away. It's a fucking disaster
Of course in her young years she chooses absolutely scum of the earth
Fucking hell... I've been through some shit in my life, and sometimes I forget that there are so many people out there that have suffered so much more. My heart ached listening to Anthony, stay strong my friend.
its insane how sane he is wish him all the best
ditto
Everyone liked that*
It was wild to me how he described himself as having “no social skills” while still conveying intense empathy and emotional understanding in the things he was saying 😢 I’d love to hear from him again soon :)))))))))))))))
"Moving forward is about undoing solutions that have gotten us to where we are" Powerful quote to end on. One step back, two steps forwards. I often tell my math students this :)
>becomes a fascist
@@thegoblinspeaks wtf
Dr. K at 38:44: "Hell yeah, he feels passionate about some things, let's dive right in there, this could be fruitful! Tell me!"
Dr. K at 39:22 after learning his only passion is virulent antisemitism: "Ah fuck. Recalibrating."
Lmao
LMAO.
I was writing a comment about how surprised I was that this dude could've been me if I was a dude with a shittier life.
Then it got to the antisemitism and I paused and thought '... yeah ok, I would probably fall into that rabbit hole somewhere down the road of a shit life, too.'
Because he did not elaborate at all, so who knows what lead to that.
Also, I was like 'how the fuck is this dude still single' the entire time 👀
That was so funny just came out of nowhere haha
@@paisleesheppard5629 Since he said he formed his political opinions in prison, it's very likely he was in a white supremacist/nazi gang. I believe he has an iron cross tattooed on his hand as well. (To be clear, that is not meant as judgemental, people in prison often have very little choice in the people they associate with if they want some safety. And the guy was 16 when he went in.)
sounds like he can derive his only passion from hate, which is basically all he has received in life
I watch a bunch of Soft White Underbelly, so these kinds of life stories are not necessarily new to me, but the way this man has handled and has been able to process such a terrible situation is truly extraordinarily. If you're reading this, and for what it's worth, you get one hell of a pat on the back from me. You're made of some exceptionally tough stuff.
I really hope he sees this and knows that a lot of people feel the same way. I also have a lot of hope that he’ll find his peace, considering what he has already overcome.
SWU definitely prepared my heart & ears for these troubled upbringings. The psychiatrist aspect from Dr. K is phenomenal Bc he is able to answer their questions. Then relieve some of the hopelessness with sound advice.
Soft White Underbelly has truthfully made my father so much more empathetic, especially with drug abusers, and I will always love them for that
I love soft white underbelly so much
The are the comments I was looking for.
I aswell wish he sees that we have hope for him and that with this he can learn to stop plucking the "Hope like weeds in a Garden."
I would like an update on him. I cried all throughout the stream because of how much hurt I saw in his eyes when he was talking about his childhood... I wish him all the best ❤
14:42
as another man who was hated by his "father figure", the sound in his voice as he says "father figure" just hits different. a lot of this i cannot relate to, but to be able to hear the moment where he began describing being hated by his father figure he looked up to... those specific vocal inflections on the words "father figure", trying hold his voice together... damn man, it just hits. this man has a great story and i'm glad it's here for us to hear. hope you're doing well, Anthony. inspiring to me. strong fucking man.
I hope this guy grows out of his anti-semitism and becomes a public speaker, because he genuinely has a very sincere way of telling his story. I think hearing it could do a lot of people good.
He doesn't like jews 🤷🏽♀️ He was just being honest. He can't outgrow that. But he can hide it. Does it really matter? He isn't out talking bad about Jews or killing them. He just doesn't like Jews. Whatever. That is his opinion. But it doesn't change his worth. Maybe he needs to get to know some Jewish people and come to understand they are just people too and think they are doing what is right in their own heart.
Or maybe becomes a public speaker to *spread* his anti-semitism.
Obvious joke lol.
@@audreymai2773 people aren't going to be comfortable with him being a public speaker if he's openly an antisemite. Also, you say he can't outgrow antisemitism but then go on to say he could change if he met some Jewish ppl? That's contradictory.
yeah i feel like he really needs to visit some political debate club. I really think he just needs to take a few different perspectives on issues and he'll get off that train.
@@audreymai2773 Would you be as nonchalant if he said he didn't like black people?
I love when Dr k invites people who would be considered as 'bad people' by society or by certain groups. It gives insight into the thought process of these people and they are often (or even always?) nice and intelligent.
I sometimes emphasize with these people on a deeper level. Thank you Dr k.
Yes, most murderers are generally 'bad' people. Many of them are not nice and intelligent. Certainly not always.
@@loubloom1941 Full-blown sociopaths from birth, maybe (and even then you can understand by talking to them and realizing how their brains are wired). Most are just people shaped by the cards they were dealt. Traumatized
empathize?
@@Limemill people dont turn sociopath from birth, theres always a reason.
@@Limemill They were talking about murderers, not sociopaths. Also, while what is known about sociopaths is quite li tied, it is currently generally believed you cannot be born a sociopath.
Man, what a tornado of a conversation, please HG we need him again!!! I want to see how hes doing so much, it would be awesome if we could see another conversation again!
One of the best conversations on UA-cam right now, anyone who has felt or who is currently feeling lost can get so much out of this. Thank you both for this.
I feel like it's all too common for kids to grow up and realize in their adulthood that their parents were actually abusive as fuck and then when you try to confront your parents about it, they make up some weird ass fake story about what really happened.
True
On god
because our parents probably suffered the same or even worse. So to them what they did to you is nothing compared to what they suffered.
@@paulogaspar8295 Suffering is no justification to inflict abuse upon others.
Totally, or they try to justify it and its that they 'did it for you' or they 'had no choice'.
As for my mom, its hard for her to accept that she had a choice and that maybe she did wrong, as it wasnt right for both my parents to kick in my door because i didnt want to do homework and always scream at me that i have no future unless i become a top student even if i had good grades at the time. (only an Example)
I'm still fighting the fear of not doing well enough, but i think the trouble had less to do with me and more with tension in my family and them really needing a punchingbag.
It sort of makes sense that having abused your child is hard to come to terms with, especially if you care about being a good parent or outside appearances.
I think Dr. K did the right move with the anti-semitism. Directly engaging that wouldn't have worked. You need to find the source of that belief, not attack the belief itself, because the belief itself leads to the turtle response if attacked. If you find the source (lack of cognitive flexibility), he will automatically solve that problem in his mind.
@@0mnislasher1 My first reply apparently just disappeared, but in any case, you haven't really proven anything. You're just saying that there are some people in positions of power who share an ethnicity and _possibly_ a belief system. You haven't proven that they are working together, you haven't even proven common interests (apart from ones you can explain by class analysis), you are just saying "look, there's a lot of Jews in positions of power!" which is partially true in the US and kind of the EU and Australia / New Zealand, but not even remotely true when you go to Islamic countries, India, China, Japan, etc. The largest slice of the economic pie by identity is still controlled by white christians. Why you specifically obsess over Jews when so much power is _not_ in their hands, I don't understand.
The solution is democratizing the economy. Make sure that nobody has that power. Workplace democracy, transfer inelastic markets to democratic government control. Make sure that there are lobbying restrictions etc.
@@0mnislasher1 that’s an incredibly fancy way of saying you don’t like jews, you really made me whoop out the dictionary on that one.
No. This just made him feel validated. He wasn’t “cerebral” but Dr. K made him feel that way. By ignoring the problem he made it worse. He inflated this guy’s ego.
@@bajes328 first, excellent comment. I don’t see the guy you were responding to, but I like everything u said about regarding whatever the other dude said about Jews in power. As a Jew, it’s frustrating when people think our ethnicity has anything to do with people in power, or people doing bad things. It’s like pointing to murder statistics around the globe and saying “all those white people who are murders... they’re murderers _because_ they’re white.” It’s so dumb.
Anyway, thanks man.
(BTW, do you know an approx timestamp for when in the video something antisemitic came up??)
@@jacob9673 Holy shit, do you have a life? I've seen other comments from you on this same video from months ago, and you're still just shitting on this guy? You really gotta find something else to do.
This is the best conversation I've ever listened to and it's not even close. I didn't expect to learn so much. Anthony is a wonderful and amazing person
A follow-up convo to see how far he's come along would be great. Great work!
I'm a software engineer who took a bit of an "unconventional" path to get here, and some of my best friends were ex-convicts. I would totally hang out with this dude and ramble on about code shit and deep thoughts over drinks.
So you were an ex con as well ?
@@straycursor5562 nope, I've never been to jail or prison 🙂
@@JoeyTen that's great man. That you can understand and accept others even though they're from a different background
Are you self-taught?
@@minsugamaxsalt I'm in Cs 3rd
year
I really hope Anthony becomes a regular guest.
It is incredibly inspiring to see him still alive after all of that shit he went through.
This is definitely one of the best interviews I've seen. Dr. K is very careful with his words and provides deep advice that is targeted to the person he is talking to, but also applicable to anyone. Thanks for uploading this.
theres so much wisdom in this episode. this is by far one of my favourite dr. k interviews
I've been following Healthy Gamer for over a year now, and this is the first time I really resonated with a guest and understood what someone is going through, and pretty much every suggestion from Dr. K very much resonated with me, which makes me believe that therapy is actually a good option for me after huge resistance to it for so long, thank you so much for this interview.
My dude needs an ADHD test and so do you, if you resonate.
Because I did, my Dad would, and what do ya know, my Dad and I have ADHD.
For real, dude, even if you don't look into ADHD as a diagnosis, consider taking something from the many ADHD video's on YT.
I wish you the best!
he's "schizoid"
@@paisleesheppard5629 LOL I thought the exact same thing and omg I also have adhd who woulda thought!
I hope you see this Anthony; its not cowardice preventing you from taking your own life. It's the hope you hide inside yourself that wants to blossom into the happiness you know you're capable of having. I am proud of you and want you to know that you are a valuable person.
Thank you
I was crying several times during this video. Something resonated very deeply inside of me. What a beautiful individual, beautiful soul and beautiful smile that made me smile (all pain aside).
His smiles at 54:10 seems so genuine, I love his smile. If you're reading this Anthony I truly hope you're doing good.
"You can't be a failure, you can only fail." So powerful.
I am genuinely surprised at how smart this man is. Not even in a bad way, like "waits, this dude can think?", but more in the sense that I have rarely seen someone leading the conversation as much, on this channel. I feel like we have barely heard Dr. K, except for big key informations.
As little credit as he gives himself, this man understands himself pretty well. I believe that he simply needs to realize a few things, and a lot of changes will happen in his life.
As Dr. K said, it is plausible that within just a few years, this man will have his life together and be happier than ever.
He is one of the extremely rare people I've listened to - maybe only the second one in my experience - with certain values I go absolutely against, and with actions that cannot defend whatsoever, that I still wish the best of luck to in life.
He truly has amazing potential and will make wonders. Hope he will be able to find happiness.
When truth is coming deep and strong, all you have to do is step out of its way.
Many of the traits he showed in his interviw places him in the group of typical highly intelligent people. I bet this guy at least has Mensa level IQ. Imagine what more he could have made with his life if he only had one person who could guide him. Its truly a shame that the human society is not capable of finding and protecting people like these before tragedies happen.
@@marcvesper I love this sentence
Part of that is just being older. Very few of the guests that Dr. K interviews are older than the doctor, himself (39 now, I believe). Most of them are twenty-somethings that have very little life experience.
People that are 40+ will behave differently than under-30s, pretty much across the board. That's just picking things up from being alive longer. It's true in society at large, not just on the internet.
Anger is the the final transmutation of unresolved fear hurt and sorrow. I had to become an old man before that became crystal clear. It made me reconsider my easy judgement of others. Peace, love and forgiveness for others and for ourselves
Dr. K is so freaking talented. This was amazing. Anthony is totally help-able and can thrive better than other people in our society. I wish him the best.
When a person who is suicidal is still not doing it, it's not because they lack courage but because, despite the sense of being trapped in pain and despair, a part of them is still fighting.
Either or both can be true.
I have a tattoo done a long time ago, and been with me through many thoughts. ...try again... (top) 2 dices (in middle) with 123 (when you feel down) on one and 456 (when you feel good) ...next time..., meaning "try again maybe next time will be better!"
Or worse: they want to die, but can't even feel more than apathy about wanting to die, so they 'never get to it' so to speak.
Worse because antidepressants can give them the energy to suicide. 😬
totally wrong
More evidence that depression and suicide are just "deep and meaningful" topics for entertainment for women. They just have a bunch of live, laugh, love-tier quotes about those topics.
They don't actually understand those things.
Holy shit, Anthony's life is the definition of being punched while on the ground :( The whole story leading up to his brother being jumped sounds like all hope he had left was his brother liking him, but that didn't turn out so well. On top of that, his mind must have been all over the place for almost losing his brother (i.e. last bit of hope). It's really sad to hear how his youth and his mental state is almost like a life sentence in and of itself.
Unbeliveable how bad the jurisdical system is in the US. What I hated in this video is when dr. K told him he learned love from his mother. What? He was a monster who enjoyed torturing him.
@@boglarkaszoradi4504 Could you please give the timestamp? Idk why he said that. and maybe it needs context. Im just early in the video.
@@Aethelhadas1:06:15 " the way you love someone is confusing. Because clearly you love your mother. She taught you what love js ... " Yea I would say the other person misunderstood what he meant here.
@@boglarkaszoradi4504I think the context of that was that he did learn love from his mother, and his mother wasn’t loving, so he didn’t learn love to a normal extent. If that makes senss
@@L4ck0Ski11 no it does not make sense to learn love from sy who is not loving. That guy did not learn love from his mother, because his mother never loved him.
I applaud Anthony for being honest and sharing such a hard and heartbreaking childhood. I also think Dr. K gave excellent insight and advice! I agree that Anthony has missed out on developing as truly himself since he always had to put up a front in an abusive household and prison in order to survive immensely difficult and traumatic situations. Hope he goes out and just tries to live life and get to know others as truly himself! Even as a Jewish woman, I am rooting for Anthony and think he has a lot to offer in future!
I'm a mum and like all mums, I don't always get it right. I beat myself up for the tiniest things. I know I have areas to improve on. It makes me so livid to think this is what a mother would do to her own children. How dare she.
she was a monster, a sadistic psychopath = devil. No way she liked Anthony in any way. I know personally 2 people who sure did not learn love from their mother still able to love others. We dont necesserily learn love from our mother.
She is a narcissist, I've heard stories of other people who grew up with narcissistic parents and she checks pretty much all the boxes.
I beat myself up for stuff too. Son is grown up and doing well.
I'm only 15 minutes in, but I gotta say, this is one of the most interesting and heartbreaking cases yet
Woah, just 2 minutes in and this guy's story is tragic, wish him the best.
He said that he stabbed multiple people while inside prison. His story is indeed tragic but don't judge a book by it's cover.
Not as tragic as the other guy in the story. 6 minutes in and I still do not know whom this guy murdered.
@@MarcinP2 the 24 year old with the 14 year old girlfriend apparently
@@powdergate I think that's what this whole video is about, even murderers are human and can feel regret.
@@psychosemantics What do you mean that's "what this video is about" ?? What it's about, is a therapist helping a guy in pain who's had a tragic life.
1:01:04 😂 great guest in all seriousness!... "Am i binge eating or do i have the munchies" haha
I absolutely loved hearing your story. Your authenticity was so refreshing to hear
I agree %100 with Dr. K about therapy. He has such a passion for learning and a willingness to grow as a person. He should see it as being a student getting the knowledge to navigate your mind. I have much faith that this man will achieve happiness.
according to someone, he's anti-semitic
These types of talks and conversations help so much. Knowing what brings people into circumstances like Anthony's builds empathy for a person with completely different life paths and dice rolls.
Thank you Anthony for being so open and giving us the opportunity to get to know you a little in the two hours you spoke. I’m touched by your courage and inspired by your perseverance. You are obviously super intelligent and it’s so amazing hearing from someone who’s experienced such hardship and yet has the keen awareness to describe it all in the way that you have. I think you would be surprised at the amount of people who would love to hear from someone like you. You are an amazing and inspiring person with clear gifts and it would be a shame if you don’t share your gifts with the world.
Edit: just heard the anti semitic stuff. Maybe don’t share that part.
Honestly as a person in a field I think this format is amazing it helps for profesionals to learn as well as people who can resonate to ger access to some insight that they may have never sought otherwise or would be able to access. Kudos to your work, I haven’t met psychiatrist before that is suuch amazing therapist as you are.
I'm in school to become a clinical counselor and feel the same way. Dr. K is helping people on so many levels!
"A person in a field" I'm imagining you watching this video in a rice field
Did you miss when he said to him that his mother taught him love? NO WAY! She was a monster, she did not like him at all!
It's amazing how different our life experiences are, and yet I share many of his struggles. I connect with him so much.
This story, this platform, and everything Dr. K is doing for those in the gaming community and beyond, wow. Just wow. Thank you sir.
I will forever save this video in my favorites because I can almost always relate to this guy. It hurts. If I could've been, I would've been there for you even through the sadness.
seeing him smile joyfully really made me smile aswell ngl man
i feel so sorry for people that went through bullshit like this
I feel like my mind made a 180 degree turn after this interview. I didn't have that for a loooong time.
Thank you for making this content and him for sharing his thoughts and life experiences.
Anthony if you read this I wish you the best for the upcoming challenges you are facing and I would love you to talk to Dr. K again in a few months seeing that you are still well.
I think one of my favorite parts about this video was when Dr. K was telling Anthony about his smile, and the more he talked about the good qualities it displayed, the more Anthony smiled and I just thought that was a really sweetly inspiring moment that was probably needed. This man has had a rough life but has the drive and the absolute smarts to keep going. I think he will be better than alright.
His story is truly tragic, I feel like I am very mentally similar to him but was born in a loving and safe environment. I bet he could’ve been a professor of some sort or someone who could explore academic areas very effectively and entertainingly. So sorry for your fortune man, it’s people like you that remind me I have the duty to do what those like me sometimes can’t do. Thank you for sharing and I hope the best for u!
I''m so glad that there are professionals for this. I like to think that I am good with people from time to time but you are completely next level in terms of helping and understanding others.
I never thought I would relate so much to a person that murdered someone at 16 and went to prison for 20+ years. Anthony is very relatable and this interview helped me a ton. I appreciate all you do Doctor K.
This is one of the best interviews I've listened to on this channel. I've often wondered how my life would go if I accidentally killed someone, and while his circumstance isn't the exact same, it still helps gives me perspective as to what could/would happen. His childhood story is heart-breaking. Thanks for uploading this.
I know very few people who are this honest, intelligent & forthcoming in their reasoning as this man. I just hope he finds a way to be this authentic toward people he meets in real life. I would absolutely love to have a friend like him!
This guy is the perfect example of a genius who was completely denied any opportunities in life. His level of introspection and internal understanding of his actions and his motivations are incredible, and I think there is real, concrete confidence underneath all that doubt. Not everyone can pick themselves up like that over and over, and still find the drive and rationale to keep moving forward after all he's been through. He is very respectable, and even if it's not my place to be proud, that's how I feel for him for being so open about it.
Everyone deserves a chance at redemption, hope Anthony is able to move forward and lead a good life.
Society seems to think otherwise. Prisons seems to be more focused on punitive justice than rehabilitative justice. Which leads to workplaces and other organizations discriminating against felons who have already done their time because there's a chance they might not have changed at all. Which makes it harder for the ones who _have_ changed to get their life back together and become a contributing member of society.
@@WanderTheNomad It’s sad we forget we’re all just lost kids.
Thank you Anthony for sharing your story with everyone. This made me tear up watching this, I have childhood trauma and I resonated heavily as he spoke about the things that happened in his childhood. When he opened up to Dr. K and it made him emotional, it reminded me of the exact feeling I felt when I opened up to my therapist for the first time about my PTSD.
"Hindsight is useful but foresight would be better" this guy has such a beautiful way with words, and he doesn't even realise he's doing it, I'd love for him to write his story in a book.
Anthony's story made me cry... I just wanted to give him a hug. What an incredible man. So honest and raw. So resilient. I believe he'll continue to find enough reasons to live and make life worthwhile, he's already doing it.
I hope too. His mother was a monster, a pure Devil. She did not like him at all only had enjoyment from hurting him. He did not learn love from her. He was born with that.
This was a really emotional episode for me, probably one of the most emotional ones. Wish you the best, Anthony.
I’m grateful Anthony was willing to do this and really put himself out there. I think his story is going to help a lot of people.
I know it resonated in many ways here.
Please bring this gentleman back this was like one of the best stuff you did
One of the most informational and touching videos I've seen. This displays the sheer amount of damage that criminal records/labels impose on an individual's life; another injustice is the fact that he was tried as an adult while a minor. Stay strong!
This is my favorite interview on the channel. Thank you so much for sharing guys! Anthony is extremely intelligent and I hope nothing but the best for him 🖤
this was so good man, you really outdid yourself with this one. I actually relate to Anthony a lot.
I just discovered this channel, watched the video start to finish, and I have to say: This is inspiring hearing the stuff some people go through in their life. It makes me able to appreciate that I have a good life and loving parents. Thank you for this video!
I am a 19 year old girl who suffers from cptsd from parental abuse at a very young age and a lot of the advice from this video heavily pertained to me. A lot of people are living very similar lives and they don't even know it, because everything is circumstantial. Thank you Dr. K and thank you Anthony! And thank you to everyone who watched this video all the way through and learned something from it. We're all doing our best
I am sorry for that.
I’m so glad you are here and learning practical things to make your life as beautiful as it can be. I’m rooting for you too
More of this kind of interview please! Interviews with the outcasts and rejects of society, those who are labeled "bad people", are both fascinating and optimistic to me - if even those people can be treated with respect, dignity and empathy, and their worst behaviours or beliefs can be understood and accepted, then there may be hope for us after all.
This interview is a prime example of why you shouldn't be so quick to judge or outcast people who say/do bad things. Of course people should be held responsible and should be prevented from causing more harm to others, but I believe that if you want to really fix the problem, you need to start with trying to truly understand each person, without judgment.
This is the most humanizing conversation I have ever heard! Thank you so much Anthony for being so vulnerable and honest!
Wow, thank you for putting yourself out there Anthony. I'm glad you're open to ask for help and this talk is gonna help a lot of people.
I can't say I'd be doing as well as him had I had it as hard.
Yeah man
This was a phenomenal video. I love how the conversation went. I don't have any criminal background, though I could still empathize with much of what was discussed and I felt like he was speaking for me at times. I loved how honest and respectful both sides were about their feelings, experiences, and reflections. Especially during the pandemic its easy to feel lonely in our troubles but its videos like this that show us we all bear similar struggles no matter the background, that are just part of the human experience. Thanks for the wide perspectives. Wishing him the best of luck on the journey.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You survived an unimaginable set of circumstances. There are too many people in my life that spent a majority of their lives in prison. Thank you for being here with us.
I just want to say, people like this guy who are just trying to live in this world have been the best damn co workers I ever had. As long as they can stay drug free, that is.
I've only been watching for a few minutes, and Anthony you are a BOSS for everything you have overcome in your life!!! My heart goes out to you