This has been a factor in several of my relationships with narcissist friends and partners. I am really grateful to be able to think through it with your video. Very helpful.
My hubby thinks that I should think exactly the same ideas and values as him! Because I dont he looks for other people who he can feel the same as him. Very challenging!
I’ve never heard anyone make the connection of mirroring to increasing the narcissistic persons comfort or relieving their fears which makes sense - I’ve only understood this to be just another manipulation tactic especially in the love bomb stage - another aha moment for me - thx
Thank you for clarifying this. I was puzzled about the concept of the twin fantasy. Thinking about both directions. * If I am your soulmate, you would not reject me * If you are not a twin (you do not fit into my perfect-soulmate-script), I reject you I am still thinking about if there is a link between extreme narcissism and the concept of a fixed (vs a growth) mindset. Thinking through the 'fixed/growth mindset' filter, it appears to me that a relationship between a fixed mind to a too different mate cannot prevail. As he follows a fixed script, he does not have the flexibility to deal with the differences in a constructive way. So, differences has to disappear to get rid of potential conflicts? Thinking about a relationship based on a growth mindset, it appears to me, that there is the flexibility required to adapt to the differences. If differences would not shut down relationship, there is no need to hide them. Maybe there are other parallels too. It is just fun for me to think about these questions. Best Wishes.
Very intriguing now to see “why” we are different. My intent to recognize can/will allow me to separate feelings from reacting to my narc. It’s so exhausting as a codependent to change & him beat me up for it.
I just heard this week about this twin scenario. I’m sad cuz I know it’s very hard to communicate w my Narc. He’s skeptical, not mutual, reciprocity is missing, heart is closed, etc. Hoping for a connection. I’ve been here too long!
You asked Dr. Malkin. However, I give my perspective on your question. My experience of these individuals is that their grasp of the truth is weak. They tell just enough to convince us that what they say is true, when they have no qualms about telling us exaggerations, or lie by omission, not giving all the information. Remember, they have a personality disorder. If they match up with several of the nine traits in the description of narcissistic behaviors, they will tend to answer with their self-interest in mind. Sam Vaknin could be telling the truth. So could HG Tudor. Both will have little compassion for their readers and listeners. Having people hang on their every word feeds them their “supply “. They need endless approval and are constantly seeking it from whoever gives it. Viewers help them gain that supply. Personally, Sam Vaknin and HG Tudor aren’t interesting to me. Both are boring, so I tend to believe nothing that they say. How can I believe what they tell us? They’re earning money and saying what they think we want to hear.
Everything w them is fantasy. Reality is a intrusion on their fantasy life.
This has been a factor in several of my relationships with narcissist friends and partners. I am really grateful to be able to think through it with your video. Very helpful.
My hubby thinks that I should think exactly the same ideas and values as him! Because I dont he looks for other people who he can feel the same as him. Very challenging!
IT’LL TAKE SOME TIME
BUT SOMEWHERE DOWN THE LINEEEEE
WE WON’T BE ALONE
thanks for this! important and not often discussed
I’ve never heard anyone make the connection of mirroring to increasing the narcissistic persons comfort or relieving their fears which makes sense - I’ve only understood this to be just another manipulation tactic especially in the love bomb stage - another aha moment for me - thx
Very helpful indeed. I've seen this from up close and it can go to some extreme lengths.
Really good video I enjoy learning new nuggets of wisdom.
As always; many thanks!
Thank you for clarifying this. I was puzzled about the concept of the twin fantasy.
Thinking about both directions.
* If I am your soulmate, you would not reject me
* If you are not a twin (you do not fit into my perfect-soulmate-script), I reject you
I am still thinking about if there is a link between extreme narcissism and the concept of a fixed (vs a growth) mindset.
Thinking through the 'fixed/growth mindset' filter, it appears to me that a relationship between a fixed mind to a too different mate cannot prevail. As he follows a fixed script, he does not have the flexibility to deal with the differences in a constructive way. So, differences has to disappear to get rid of potential conflicts?
Thinking about a relationship based on a growth mindset, it appears to me, that there is the flexibility required to adapt to the differences. If differences would not shut down relationship, there is no need to hide them.
Maybe there are other parallels too. It is just fun for me to think about these questions.
Best Wishes.
That’s all spot on yes
Stable object relations vs object impermanence?
Very intriguing now to see “why” we are different. My intent to recognize can/will allow me to separate feelings from reacting to my narc. It’s so exhausting as a codependent to change & him beat me up for it.
Thank you !
Always informative! Is this the same as someone who wants to do everything like you, not being able to be their own individual? thanks again!!
Is this similar to narcissistic mirroring? Aka extreme copycat syndrome
Yes! It’s my simple language way of describing mirroring. I always do that :-)
I just heard this week about this twin scenario. I’m sad cuz I know it’s very hard to communicate w my Narc. He’s skeptical, not mutual, reciprocity is missing, heart is closed, etc. Hoping for a connection. I’ve been here too long!
Sending courage and support
i hate car seat headrest
Wut
This might be their best album, tbh.
@@mendoaninthesky i think how to leave town might barely beat it
Have you heard of Sam vaknin? How trust worth is a diagnosed narcissistic giving lectures or vids on narcissistic abuse .. ?
You asked Dr. Malkin. However, I give my perspective on your question.
My experience of these individuals is that their grasp of the truth is weak. They tell just enough to convince us that what they say is true, when they have no qualms about telling us exaggerations, or lie by omission, not giving all the information.
Remember, they have a personality disorder. If they match up with several of the nine traits in the description of narcissistic behaviors, they will tend to answer with their self-interest in mind.
Sam Vaknin could be telling the truth. So could HG Tudor. Both will have little compassion for their readers and listeners. Having people hang on their every word feeds them their “supply “. They need endless approval and are constantly seeking it from whoever gives it. Viewers help them gain that supply.
Personally, Sam Vaknin and HG Tudor aren’t interesting to me. Both are boring, so I tend to believe nothing that they say.
How can I believe what they tell us? They’re earning money and saying what they think we want to hear.
I wouldn't put much stock in what he says. He's not a recognized expert in our field for good reason.