Toxic Takeaways - The Problem With Ross from Friends
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- Опубліковано 31 гру 2024
- The Take is launching a brand new merch line! Check out our limited edition designs available on the Merch Shelf now before they’re gone: the-take.mytee... | Ross Geller, played by David Schwimmer, is one of TV’s original "nice guys." Yet ever since Friends ended in 2004, we’ve been able to take a more critical look at Ross, and spot some of the many red flags we once disregarded. Through this retrospective lens, we can see Ross as an example of male fragility. He’s a guy who’s so preoccupied with proving that he’s a ‘man,’ he often ends up overcompensating and even hurting others in the process. And yet, after ten seasons of questionable behavior, Ross ends up getting his dream girl anyway. Here’s our Take on the many Toxic Takeaways from Ross Geller’s story, and the lessons he can teach us about how not to be a good friend.
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Wait that cheating with Phoebe was a what if episode not what happened.
I mean it showed Rachel married to Barry and pregnant too
@The Take please do one on Sarah Connors The Terminators movies
Love that idea!
Next do the overly masculine man
As a teenager: Man, Ross really isn't that bad. I mean...he's bad, but...
As a husband and father: Ross is a pathetic little failure...he'd probably refuse to have a tea party or play dress up with his daughter.
Ross didn't need a relationship , Ross didn't need Rachel , Ross didn't need any woman , he only needed therapy
His divorce attorney even suggested that.
Well said.
I Know 😂😂😂
so true!! But back then people thought that
going to therapy = crazy
I'd say every member of friends needed some therapy
Ross’s character bugs the crap out of me, but the physicality David Schwimmer brought to the role made for some of the funniest moments in the show. I think a different actor would have made Ross far less accepted or tolerable.
True, without his physical comedy he would've been so much worse!
I have to agreed - Schwimmer really might have been the best actor on the show when it comes to physical comedy, I think Phoebe and Chandler tie for second
true, sometimes a good actor can bring out the best out of a bad character. ross's whining annoyed the crap out of me but schwimmer delivers it in such a funny way (sometimes), it makes it less painful.
Its too bad that Ross is David Schwimmer's most famous role. From what he does, he seems like a genuinely thoughtful guy. He produced a series of shortfilms on sexual abuse, they're pretty good.
David Schwimmer is the only reason i like Ross ( sometimes ) , love his physical comedy and his reactions
I honestly don't get why their relationship was so fonded over as the main relationship of the group when Chandler and Monica over there having a great time and 1000x cuter and healthier.
Maybe a bit healthier, but definitely not healthy. Chandler is enabler, Monica got way worse than she was before being in relationship with him.
@@PeCzech Man, the Gellers sucked at raising their kids lmao
@@PeCzech I disagree. Like with many TV characters, the more the seasons advanced, Monica became more a caricature of herself. The writers did exaggerate her flaws in the later seasons but in the grand scheme of things she was always very supportive of Chandler when it mattered most. She had planned her dream life since she was little and had specific ideas for her wedding but when Chandler said they better save some money for the future, she eventually relented. She was understanding when he had to work far away and was very supportive when he quit his job, a job that seemed to pay well by the looks of his office. Those were major changes that could hurt a relationship if there was any lack of support. By nature Monica likes to stick to a plan yet for every major steps of their lives she was willing to compromise for Chandler. People tend to concentrate too much on Monica's flaws from the surface and forget that she did gave in on big issues. Chandler has no problem with her high maintenance flaws because on things he cared the most she's always there for him and with him. That's the main difference between her and her brother; Monica compromises whilst Ross doesn't.
Because Ros is the portrayal of the average straight white guy and Rachel what every Karen wants to think she's like. Average Americans saw themselves in them, and back then we weren't as conscious and critical about this kind of behavior. The portrayal didn't aged well, but it was an honest display of what the average joe was back then (and now, but not openly)
@@Traigame2cervezas So gay or black people don't act like this then?
Ross might be a questionable character but there’s no doubt in David’s acting skills that we are able to criticise AND feel for him at the same time
Yes, I agree, but it wasn't just that Ross was the kindest friend. He was really underappreciated. Everyone just remembers him for his flaws.
He kissed Joey to help him, he drove to help the others when they were out of gas in the middle of nowhere( and by the way, I think they were really bad friends to leave Ross alone. You could see how hurt he was when he was at Carol's. One of them should have stayed with him).
He skipped Discovery Channel shoot to take care of Rachel when she had a fractured rib, bought Joey that infamous fake dog, took care of Marcel, talked her ex wife back into getting married and gave her away at the wedding when her own family had abandoned her.
He offered to loan Monica money when she was broke and back at their childhood house he offered up some of his own childhood memorabilia so she wouldn't get upset that hers was ruined, he got the Sting tickets for Phoebe and that bike of course( the most wholesome episode).
He was so kind to that cookie selling girl, he let Rachel win at poker even though he is so competitive, he ended segregation in the museum cafeteria and went to sit with Joey, He agreed to not date anyone while Rachel was pregnant in order to be there for her completely, when Emily asked him to not see Rachel anymore he was gonna leave the group so Rachel wouldn't have to even though he had known the others longer while Rachel was trying to get Phoebe to leave the group with her. And I'm sure he did more things that I can't remember right now. Sure, he could be annoying sometimes, but he will always be the best friend in the group for me. He was always there for all of them and had their backs.
If anything, it was Rachel who didn't deserve Ross. She was the most selfish one, but I admit she had her moments too, but they weren't so many. She destroyed at least 3 chances that Ross had for happiness in his relationships. She wasn't even that good of a friend to Monica who helped her to change from a spoiled, selfish woman to a successful and independent one. She was the worst, but I don't hate her for it, and I don't understand you people for hating on Ross because of some mistakes. No one is perfect.
We don’t give a fuck he’s awful
Schwimmer great guy, Ross is terrible
@@hamidahmadi1555 I agree with everything that you said and also with the things said in the video. I don't agree with people hating any of the characters because they all made mistakes and they all were such good friends at the same time!!! They were NORMAL people who are not perfect and make tons of mistakes but they love each other and they forgive one another when they see the other person acknowledges their mistakes. I believe Ross had his toxic traits and I believe he was a very good friend as well. One person isn't defined only by their flaws nor only by their good traits. One person can be a lot of things. What matters in the end is how they get along and overcome all their problems that are created by those toxic behaviors and how they grow from them.
And yes!!!! I loooooove David's acting!!! All of them were such good actors but really for me, David was just GREAT. His expressions were so phenomenal. All his scenes are so perfectly played!!!!
The thing with Sandy is heartbreaking to me. I know it’s a fictional show but it’s sad that Sandy seemed so dedicated to Rachel and Ross’ child and then Ross is acting all jealous of him and wants to fire him for being “too sensitive” for a guy.
I think it's unfair to just put all the blame on Ross on this situation. He's not comfortable because he was taught that it's wrong for a man for being that sensitive and the episode actually say that loud and clear... You wouldn't want a person who makes you uncomfortable taking care of your baby.
He was an asshole sometimes and need therapy? Yes. But he's not a bad person at all
@@MariaEduarda-ln2ep I know how people are raised effects them but I don’t get why he, as a grown man, let essentially silly feelings get in the way of a genuinely great babysitter. It’s hard to find them so dedicated and Rachel was also against firing the nanny, she liked him. I don’t get why the world needs to revolve around Ross’ feelings.
They were all homophobes
It's far more heartbreaking when a parent is shamed for wanting someone he feels comfortable with taking care of his child.
@@augustharper15 Because feelings are not silly to the people who feel them and collaborators in any endeavor must learn to empathize and compromise. Looking at the bigger picture of raising his kids, Ross was a responsible and devoted parent who didn't let circumstances like his wife cheating on him or his dream girl leaving him affect his parenting.
Seeing the episodes with his parents you can tell Ross is the golden child of a narcissistic mother.
Well put. That's almost poetic sounding.
And poor Monica is the scapegoat
@@melissam597 Monica isn’t exactly an angel. If you’ve ever dealt with a controlling person, Monica’s behavior would not come off as some charming quirk to you. If Ross doesn’t get a pass for his past trauma influencing his behavior, then none of the F.R.I.E.N.D.S should.
@@Luster21 Monica isn't my favorite but her compulsive behaviour is clearly her parents fault. She watched her brother be treated as if he shits gold her whole life, of course she was screwed up and started eating like a pig and cleaning like a crazy person.
She projective her narcissism on Ross.
And self-loathing on Monica.
She's basically Shadow Weaver. But thinking of Adora as Ross literally makes me physically nautious.
Honestly, Ross really needed therapy.
He was left by his wife and developed abandonment issues, developed a serious case of neuroticism and codependency, and clearly had an inferiority complex. He’s a very sad character but the show never really seemed to acknowledge this. He didn’t need a relationship. He needed help.
His wife lied to him and his her secret. She was to blame for ruining his life
@@adamcraig1468 It must be really hard, when you're a guy, to know that your wife was actually a lesbian, but it must also hard for her to accept her sexuality and come out publicly as a gay woman, especially in the mid 1990's. She didn't force Ross to do all the terrible and selfish decisions that he did later on in the show. Nobody was more to blame for Ross's problems than Ross.
People always ignore the fact that Carol quite apparently also cheated on Ross with Susan. Would people be so sympathetic towards her if she had left Ross for another man, after cheating on Ross with him?
That honneslty always pissing me off. Ross had issue. He had real trauma. But the show never spent time to explain how serious it is. They make a joke out off that.
Even chandler issues are treated better.
@@adamcraig1468 I would disagree with the ”she's to blame” and for him to use that excuse would be very childish.
She cheated yes and nothing diminishes but it doesn't give him a free pass to be a jerk forever. He's an adult that means how he reacts to things and everything he does to other people are his own choices and fault.
As others have said he could have done with some therapy. Then again, if it would have worked is another question, as you need to be open you acknowledging your flaws and your part in things for it to be effective. As the video said he never saw any of his behaviour as wrong or childish, even when he hurt those around him and it was directly pointed out to him by others.
The most toxic thing Ross did was freak out when he got to know that Rachel and Joey liked each other while he dated Rachel's sister and his best friend's ex Janice, thirsted over his own cousin.
THANK YOU!!! however uncomfortable that relationship was for some people, it killed me the only thing anyone seemed to care about was how it'd make Ross feel.
The sister thing he apologised for, the Janice thing he apologised for even though chandler regularly said he didn’t care about Janice and the cousin thing is pretty inexcusable
But it was outside the group! That was a shock after being friends for years knowing everything they got together so yes he had to freak out
He also kissed Chandler’s mom. The guy had no boundaries and expected everyone to plan their lives around him.
Yeah true and even Rachel was toxic.
Whenever Ross got into a stable relationship she spoiled it. When Ross was single she showed no interest but suddenly when he was getting married or in a relationship, she was there to spoil it and right after that again back to square one. It felt like she was there to make sure he didn't date anyone at the same time she didn't love him.
Ross is that typical "nice guy" but the actor, David Schwimmer, is definitely a genuine nice guy. For him to pull off quite a character means that he's such a wonderful actor and has done his job perfectly.
Ross is not a "nice guy". A "nice guy" is a guy who thinks he deserves sexual compensation for treating women with basic human decency or even just compliments. Ross is not that.
People are projecting this horrible type of ugliness on this character and transforming him in some kind of Judas when he isn't. Ross had flaws that needed to be worked on but ultimately was a good person with a good heart. And so do all the other five friends. People seem to forget that.
I copy pasted a comment by Mehul Bali
that perfectly encapsulates all the things people usually ignore about his character when bashing him(I commented with*):
"Remember, in TWW The Embryos, it was Ross who, by himself, created the quiz that tested the group’s knowledge of each other. Without consulting them, Ross was able to create a test that contained detailed knowledge of the lives of everyone involved. He knew all the answers when the others did not.
Starting with Rachel, Ross was actually pretty great. As Rachel herself pointed out, he was “the best she ever had”.
He cared about her, even when she didn’t care about herself.
He was affectionate, loving and happy to be with her. He was attentive to her wants and desires: He bought the expensive pin for her because he listened when she said her grandmother had one like it; He forgave her when she betrayed Phoebe by sleeping with her sexual assaulter; He was attentive to her fantasies, renting a naval officer’s uniform because she made it clear that she was turned on by it.
He apparently dressed in a skirt and knee socks for her pleasure as is referenced by her when Ross plays the bagpipes for Chandler and Monica (If you are watching the Netflix episodes, this is edited out. You can find it in the blooper scenes on UA-cam, however). It was evidently for Rachel’s pleasure because when she lets it slip that Ross had done so, her tone is sultry and seductive, not accusatory or condemning.
He is a wonderful kisser as Rachel herself states on two separate occasions, once when inadvertently talking her sister, Jill, into asking him out, and again when pointing it out to Mona as she and Ross kissed.
He is selfless with respect to Rachel. He gave up a rare opportunity to appear on tv to care for a helpless Rachel with no intent of ever telling her what he was sacrificing.
He gave her back his tiny t-shirt despite being hurt by her returning his things, because he knew she loved sleeping in it; He agreed to go out with Emily in the first place, not because he wanted to, but because he knew Rachel wanted to be with Joshua; He agreed to stop dating to be at Rachel’s beck and call without argument.
Many Ross haters fixate on the fact that Rachel got off the plane instead of taking her dream job in Paris. What they conveniently forget was that it was Ross who told a wavering Rachel that she SHOULD go to Paris once he saw how much it meant to her. Some even argue that his refusal to move to Paris with her is a sign of patriarchal oppression on his part.
They also forget that he was faced with the same dilemma in Emily’s case where he had to decide between moving to London and leaving his son, Ben, behind. Moving was not an option in Ross’ mind. That being the case, Ross was consistently depicted as placing Rachel’s happiness above his own. These are the things he did for Rachel.
For Joey, he went against his own misgivings to kiss Joey so Joey could practice (Joey also confirms that Ross is a good kisser *lol); He paid for the ceramic dog when all of Joey’s furnishings were being repossessed; When Joey was angry with Chandler for kissing his girlfriend, Kathy, and made Ross his best friend, the first thing Ross did was to convince Joey to talk to Chandler again.
He, twice, stood aside and encouraged Joey to follow his feelings in pursuing Rachel *(even tho he was sad about it);.
He respectfully spoke to Joey before pursuing a relationship with Charlie.*(Even though he kissed her first but it's not like he wasn't thinking then. But the fact that
he spoke to Joey about pursuing a relationship with Charlie after that, speaks a lot about his character and how he values his friendships)
For Chandler, he not only convinced his best friend, Joey, to forgive him for kissing Joey’s girl; he tracked him down when Chandler got cold feet before the wedding; He stayed with Chandler and walked him, step by step, through the process of preparing to get married .
For Monica, he was always affectionate and loving; He always stood as a barrier between her and their parents’ ill treatment; He supported her in her relationship with Richard; He loaned her money to pay her rent; He brought her fiancé to the altar.
For Phoebe: He gave her a place to stay when she needed one up until she abused the privilege by bringing in massage clients; He bought her a bike when he found out that she never owned one as a child; He took the time to try and teach her how to ride it once he realized she didn’t know how.
Ross was, by far, the kindest, most generous and big hearted of all the friends.
If he’s considered to be a “bad guy” for insisting that Mark was after Rachel, it’s not like he was wrong. Mark was after Rachel and he used his position with Bloomingdale’s to get her a job so he could act on the crush he had for her. He most certainly did act on it, too.
He undermined Ross’ gift giving to Rachel with subversive and smarmy commentary. He got in Rachel’s head and caused her to chose defending Mark over maintaining the best relationship she ever had with the man she knew she was supposed to be with."
@@nonyadamnbusiness4586 wow I don't think UA-cam is who you should be talking to
@@nonyadamnbusiness4586 yes to all that but I still don't like him.
Uhhh. I have heard otherwise. He can be nice to fans but he was whiny, petulant and selfish behind the scenes and every bit a Ross in real life. He desperately wanted to make Friends the Ross Show. He pushed the writers these awful directions for his character too, hooking up with beautiful actresses when the plot had him in a relationship and trying overshadow all other plot lines like Monica and Chandler's relationship.
Matthew Perry was struggling with alcohol too much to really push back.
@@nonyadamnbusiness4586 also he walked his ex wife, Carol, down the aisle when she got married to the woman with whom she cheated on him
Just thinking how much Emily must have hurt at that wedding. And the audience isn’t supposed to care since she’s not one of the “friends.” Dang, I feel bad for her in that moment.
I agree. I didn't like Friends and never watched UNTIL that particular episode. The advertising for that wedding was next level so I decided to watch. What you've expressed is exactly what I thought then (and still do).
Not only that when Emily is hurt and angry the show tries to make her out as crazy, unreasonable and evil
I was thinking that, too. Personally, I would never have spoken to him again.
Looking back though, there are subtle hints that Emily was also completely getting the wrong idea. Look back at every time she and Ross try to talk the situation out. No matter how many times Ross tries to apologize and make it up to her, Emily keeps bringing up one thing: “I was humiliated in front of my family and friends”. And while this may be true, it’s the only thing she brings up, making it visibly apparent that she only really cares about her own self-image rather than repairing a broken marriage.
Also, the writers had no choice but to write her out since Helen Baxendale got pregnant and subsequently refused to be in the series if it wasn’t shot in Britain, hence why from then on she’s always seen in a bed or from the waist up.
They're all horrible to Emily, she's treated like some evil controlling bitch for wanting her husband to stop seeing the woman he clearly has very strong feelings for.
No one ever talks about how he acts like their parents' attitude towards Monica is normal because he feels obviously superior to her...
In fairness to Ross, that is something that’s probably been reinforced since he was a child. When the parents aren’t around, he does treat her a lot more like an equal
When he felt superior to her? Could you explain that?
@@lunasantos8446 look at scenes with him, Monica, and their parents
@@vangoghsotherear4114 yes and?
@@lunasantos8446 do you remember when their garage is flooded and only his things are saved? He does end up reminding her that he is a "medical marvel". And he keeps reminding her that she was fat. Also when they have dinner with their parents he would not reveal that he was stoned as a teen just so the parents keep believing he is perfect. Too bad for his best friend and sister...
In the words of Gunther "What does Rachel see in this guy????🙄”
Rachel herself is the biggest karen u can ever imagine, trying to sabotage every relationship ross is trying to have besides her
I have no idea. And I could ask Ross the same thing about Rachel
something which you cannot
He has a stable job and will always be there for her.
rip Gunther
When his divorce lawyer said he needed therapy, he was right.
Remove the laughter track and you will see he was a psychopath
So true. He needs help asap BUT he is the type to refuse to acknowledge or accept that he needs help lol
I don’t think so, first divorce was because carol was a lesbian, second divorce was emily not trusting him and the third one was because he was too drunk.
@@moses6621 they didn't mean with marriage, just in general
He did feel better after taking that tranquilliser which is basically what an antipsychotic is
I hate his parents. They did a terrible job.
But I hate them more just for Monica alone
I mean Monica wasn’t the most likeable character but she was nowhere near as bad as ross
but jack geller was really hilarious though
I like Jack
Omg same, like Monica isn't the best person or something but still no one deserves to be treated like that.
@@Idk-dd2gn Maybe she's not likeable exactly because she was raised by two of the most obnoxious people I've ever seen on screen.
David Schwimmer is the only reason Ross is ever even SLIGHTLY likeable
The character NEVER would have worked without David Schwimmer! Ross is whiney, obnoxious and full of himself but we all know someone exactly like that.
Trust💥
i used to hate Ross because he was such a terrible person, but over the years I find if I just view him as a deranged psychopath, then the comedy of Schwimmer's performance really carries him. it's hilarious.
Definitely! I don't like the character of Ross but David's portrayal is awesome.
@@staceyann1180 Ross is annoying , whiney , selfish and sometimes toxic , but David Schwimmer isn't like him , i've seen a lot of his interviews and David looks like a great actor , he even participated in a program on reporting sexual harassment.
damn i always hated ross and rachel as a pairing but laying it out like this makes me realize them being endgame is literally a tragedy
Ross wasn't the best character on the show , buy i thinks David Schwimmer was the best actor
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They massacred Ross after the original break-up with Rachel. After that, he was just a lousy caricature of a nerd.
I think overall Lisa Kudrow was the best actor on the show.
i agree
I think Joey the actor is the best actor lol. His reactions aren't something u can learn. It's natural. He's also the funniest most loveable memorable character
this is why we stan monica and chandler, not ross and rachel
@Francisco Leyva Martin yes
And phoebe and mike
@Francisco Leyva Martin yes
the healthiest portrayal of a straight relationship i have ever seen
YES.
You know it’s bad when not even Janice can handle dating you
😂😂😂😂😂
To be fair Janice is very narcissistic and usually the relationship is centered around her, so when Ross shows up with clearly a lot of emotional baggage she couldn't handle it. Ross isn't in the wrong, Janice just happens to be the wrong person for him at that time.
@@adultishgambino1 that’s true, but it was a joke so please don’t take it too seriously😊
FUN FACT:To all: If you think Ross is a trash character and shouldn't be on the show,
Please stop and the hate on Ross x Rachel/ Rosschel. You have the choice dislike them, but you shouldn't hate. Ross is the most hated character in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and you think he is jealous... Blah blah.. But let's look at the good side, Ross can be really sweet! (especially to Rachel) And also funny! here's an example: Ross started to have a crush on Rache, They play poker,even though he seemed all tough at the speech but still, he has a soft spot for rachel so he let the girls win. Another example: After Ross and Rachel broke up, Rachel returns Ross' stuff. And Ross took her / his T-shirt. He seems incredibly rude doing that right? But he GAVE IT BACK. You can tell Rachel had apprciated. Another example: He gave up the oppertunity to be on TV just to take care of Rachel, EVEN THEIR NO TOGETHER. Think about this, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. without the Love Story between Ross and Rachel, would it still be good to watch?... think about thi
@@tayslcvr I didn’t say I wanted him off the show, and I said not to take it seriously it was a joke.
This is going to be controversial yet brave. I thought the show developed Joey and Rachel‘s relationship better than Ross and Rachel‘s relationship. They actually had stuff in common and Joey actually respected Rachel. Remember when Joey tried to think of reasons not to date Rachel and he couldn’t Think of one where as Ross can make an entire list of reasons not to date Rachel? Need I say more
But joe Gave ross a few of those reasons so, yes you need to say more
I would have preferred Joey and Rachel.
@@MrCr86 back then he didnt love her- he saw her as any other person and pointed out her flaws.
Later he had grown to love her BECAUSE of those things (unlike ross who pointed out himself that he loved her DESPITE those things- as if HE was doing HER a favor by wanting to be with her)
I laugh when ever I read a comment like this because it really isn't that controversial especially with how many dislike Ross and even if Joey behaviour with other women wasn't always good.
The point is that because Joey and Rachel's brief coupling happened to be exactly the same way that Chandler and Monica's build so it really isn't shocking in the least.
Unfortunately for those who did like it, the actual actors didn't want it or believe in it for their characters.
It took me some time and lots of rewatch, but I agree. Joey and Rachel are way better together. They simply match.
If Ross wasn't Monica's brother and his connection was only as Chandler's old college roommate , would he still welcome within the group ?
They all were there because of Monica.
@@natiagogichaishvili3556 uhum
@@natiagogichaishvili3556 Not entirely true. Joey was there because of Chandler.
Very insightful question, since the rest of them were all so perfect and with no dysfunctional behavior whatsoever.
I think that was sarcasm.
He can be so annoying, I hated how he was so condescending towards Joey when he was so sweet and one of the most loyal friends
That's because Ross doesn't value emotional intelligence, only academic... Like when he spends so many hours trying to remember the states of the USA. He could have given up... But no, because it challenges his academic intelligence which is the only thing he cares for. Same with Rachel's love for fashion. That's true, fashion is NOT as serious as science but why should everything be ?
Cant wait to see a video takeaway on joey!
@@perrinedfrs846 as someone who has spent countless hours calculating the surface area of peoples' bodies, learning the do's and don'ts of dozens of fabric types, and knowing how much math and marketing skills are required to work in fashion; I'm so impressed with Rachel. Ross might not respect such a 'feminine profession', but he's an idiot not to
@@perrinedfrs846 which is really absurd considering he’s a paleontologist, not exactly a glamorous or prestigious field of study.
Nothing against them, I wanted to be one since I was a kid but he’s a zoologist working with bones. His mentality of “x is more important than y so y doesn’t matter” is ridiculous in this context because in this train of thought his own field of academic study is completely useless compared to physics
@@perrinedfrs846 also, even though he deemed Joey as inferior, Joey received the validation that Ross wanted because he was always surrounded by beautiful women who liked him but what Ross didn't understood that the reason why they liked Joey was because of his kindness and goofiness
The fact that people cheered when he said Rachel's name at the alter kills my faith in humanity. Poor Emily.
It was not funny or romantic, I remember I felt so bad for Emily.
altar
Ross should never have rushed into marriage with Emily. He's too self-absorbed to see that he's only using her as a rebound because he's still not over Rachel. Although, it is Rachel's own fault for hooking them up in the first place because you don't get to pair up your ex with another woman and then get upset when they announced their engagement.
It was a laugh track
I cheered. Ross+Rachel was portrayed as a fated pairing throughout the series. Felt bad for Emily, who was wonderful, but she wasn't Rachel. If you're into the fate thing, Emily's consolation is that she found out sooner rather than later because it was always going to happen. If you're not, then I can see why you'd hate it. That said, this Ross hate-fest is ignoring that Rachel planted herself in his head by appearing just before the wedding and looking at him with hearts in her eyes.
Ross is funny because he takes himself so seriously. His attempts to secure his manhood makes for a comedic twist when things don’t go his way
How exactly does he take himself seriously? He is the one making most jokes of himself on the show, including divorce jokes. Him and chandler are the most self deprecating characters
@@harish123az let’s just enjoy the show 🙏🏾
Ross, Ted and Dawson should start an "Entitled" Nice Guy" who really doesn't respect women, yet is somehow better than their "player" friend because they're sensitive" club. Their attitudes REALLY haven't aged well over the decades! 🤦🏻♀️
Ted is not a nice guy. He didn't demand Robin's love or something like that
We can also add Xander Harris to that trash can. 🚮
Dawson form Dawson’s creek??
Um ... Are we just forgetting the fact that Chandler was a Nice Guy, too? " 'You're such a nice guy' means I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you' "
@@laurenc5306 Yeah...Chandler was very problematic but I think over the course of the show he changed for the better, so I wouldn't call him toxic ... just flawed to an acceptable degree (considering his growth over the seasons)
This is what happens when a "Mama's boy" doesn't grow up
I feel like that doesn’t really explain the extent of it… there are lots of Nice Guys who were never Mama’s Boys
This is more like when teenagers believe movie tropes are real. Main Character syndrome. Self victimization. It all smacks of 90s high school rom coms brought to life
@@fortunatecookie Yeah, I know this type of behaviour isn't generalised to all "Mama's boys". But in the case of Ross, it probably influenced his personality. Being the golden child tends to give people some feeling of entitlement and self-centeredness because from childhood, they were basically fawned upon and pampered, so there is the likely tendency for some to grow up thinking the world owes it to them to provide them with whatever they want.
I agree whole heartedly I honestly feel like guys like this are men that got babied and give allll the attention from there mother and now that they are adult they feel any women they are with need to do the exact same thing just a fricken “man baby”
Well, mama's boys are the fault of the parents, not the mama's boy himself.
Hey! He is not a Mama's Boy.
He calls her "Mommy".
I don't care how repeated the topic of critically analyzing how terrible Ross Geller is, I WILL BE WATCHING THE TAKE DESTROY HIS FRAGILE EGO
that's me with Ted Mosby
I think the flaws of the characters is part of what makes it entertaining, actually. But it's important for people to recognize the toxic personalities. But yeah, I'm still planning on rewatching the Thanksgiving episodes next week, lol
@@kayliehutson02859Exactly, I'm still going to watch that serie millions of times, and will still be my fav one.
It's not only a "flaw" both ted and Ross are a big "DANGER" sign
I should've been clear, I meant that I will continue watching these critique videos on Ross Geller because they fill me with life force
he slept with Janice, Charlie, dated Rachel's sister but freaked out when he saw Joey and Rachel together :,)
in terms of healthy relationships we have no healthy relationships
well, maybe julie, they actually would've been really good together! but he was stupid and left her for rachel bc that was his highschool crush and blegh
Don't forget her student
you mean when rachell was haveing HIS baby, sorry but ross was right and he went on one date with rachel only becouse she told him not to.
Do you remember that he eventually accepted that they were gonna date? Plus, do you remember how freaked Rachel was when she found out about her sister and him? She said things like, " I don't own Ross!" which makes you think that she kind of wished she did. And also," what if he marries her too. This is the worst thing that could have happened to me." Making everything about herself. And do you remember that Ross ultimately rejected Reese Witherspoon (Jill) because he understood it would be awkward? Leading to that funny scene where she tells Ross, " I throw myself at you, and you say No, how gay are you?" And he replies, " take care Jill."
And I could even argue that him seeing Joey and Rachel kiss was way worse because
1. He felt betrayed.
2. He was much closer to Joey than Rachel was to her sister.
3. Him and Rachel had a baby together by that time, and during that pregnancy, he had agreed not to date anyone so he could be there for her.
"I don't cheat! That's not me." Outlines several times when he cheated, physically or emotionally.
He cheated on every girl he ever dated. Yes he was with Rachel so we were all rooting for them. But still, he cheated.
@@aisheebasu2583 THEY WERE ON A BREAK
Lol
@@Tonka1507 okay Let's not argue about that. I am talking about about all those other girls he dated and cheated on with Rachel.
@@aisheebasu2583 like?
He cheated on Julie, fair. BUT only after Rachel tried to sabotage his relationship several times and after Rachel told she had feelings for him. They kissed and, after that, Ross had to chose between the woman he loved (that was his sister roomate) and the girlfriend that made him happy again after the worst year of his life. A fucking hard choice.
The second time he "cheated" was with Bonie. AGAIN, after Rachel persued him, sabotaged his relationship and told him she had feelings for him. So, again, he had to chose between the love of his life and the girlfriend that made him happy after the depression of the breakup with Rachel.
Ross did not cheated on Mona, or Elisabeth, or Emily, or Charlie.
And, btw, they were not on a "break". Rachel told both Monica and Mark that she had broken up with Ross. When she called Ross, the next morning, she asked if "he wanted to be her boyfriend again". So, even if having sex with another woman few hours after being dumped is not healthy, he was SINGLE. so, no, he did not cheated on Rachel.
And, just imagine this scenario: Ross breaking up with Rachel in their ANIVERSARY. Rachel go to a bar and got drunk. Decides to call Ross to patch things up. She notice a female voice in his apartment (it's VERY late in the night, past midnight). She asks if there are anyone there. He LIES about it. She notice the voice a second time and finds out that Ross's female co-worker is there, the same woman Rachel thinks (correctly) wants to have sex with Ross. Rachel thinks that Ross is with another woman (remember, for Ross, this was the second time the woman he loved cheated on him. First Carol with Susan and now Rachel with Mark). Rachel drinks even MORE, to the point of being totally drunk.
Then a man approaches and make a move on Rachel. Would anyone consider the idea that Rachel was not in the position to give consent at that point? I would.
The scene where Joey barely touches Ross and he goes flying always cracks me up.
SAME i was laughing harder than i should've been
That was actually really funny!
I laugh every time!
Joey was the better choice by far: sweet, considerate, trust-worthy... Remember when he gave up meat for his friend Phoebe? Ross would never.
Yep, maybe Rachel would have been far better off with Joey after all. Even though Joey causally slept around and discarded women, he was caring towards his friends, so would have treated Rachel better because they were already close. ♥️
Ross bought the bike for Phiebs 🙂 and thought her to ride it ..and played along to get her not to give up on it
Rachel was better with neither of them
I don't think Joey and Rachel are a good romantic relationship, their friendship is very sweet, but I hate every episode of them dating. I just get the feeling that Joey is sexualizing Rachel and is confusing that with love because he already likes her as a friend.
But did he gave up meat? He ate meat in London 😁
Rachel isnt any less toxic though, which contributed to the drama between them both. Honestly its very interesting to watch how their story unfold. At least we have chandler and monica's story as a form of break from this pair xD
Yeah rachel destroyed every single relationship ross had and then broke up with him
@@lukachkhartishvili- no, she didn't. Ross is not a child
He's a grown man. He made the decisions.
At least she matured over the seasons, while Ross is still the whiney narcisist
Rachel was pretty horrible as well.
Ross and Rachel should have been legally barred from getting back together
we all know Monica is the only Geller who deserves any rights
Holy shit we are deciding who gets right now? Very Third Reich lol
Yes, Monica is my favourite of the girls, and the one that I relate with the most. I always felt sorry for her that her parents, particularly her mother, blatantly preferred Ross, and seemed to disregard everything she did. Luckily, things majorly improved for her after dating and marrying Chandler. 💘😻
Yes!!!! Shes the way better sibling but shes always overlooked and critiqued:(
@@ceciliaabasto454 it's a meme, not literal
Okay but Cassie also gets a pass
Ross: I wonder how many people are willing to see jurassic parka
Devil Wears Prada: I'm about to destroy this man's career
Hahaha I thought of the devils wear Prada when Ross made the commitment
Well Jurassic Park is going to appeal to kids as well as adults so therefore appealing to a more mainstream audience means more money.
Devil Wears Prada on the other hand is certainly not meant to appeal to children so therefore it's not expected to make a billion dollars worldwide.
@מאיר ב ק the point of the op here is not to say that one is better than the other but that both can hold up well as interesting topics and that both careers in ross and Rachel's case should be respected. It's that simple.
@@RomanSionis85 speak for yourself i fell in love with the devil wears Prada the first time i saw it and i was 10
Hey, how's life in prisión?
*to be honest, all of the friends have shown a lot of their flaws and toxic traits on the show.*
exactly but everyone is just so blind to faults of the other characters. Joey very openly objectified women. Chandler was very superficial and would break up with people over the dumbest reasons. Phoebe was just downright mean sometimes, mostly to Ross and Chandler, and Rachel could be very selfish.
Absolutely. They were all toxic in their own way. And that was the motor of the comedy of the show. It's mind-blowing to me that ppl are finding out about this in 2020. Like, what show were you watching lmao
@@marea707 very true. i feel like the creators wanted to show everyone the different aspects of how people are in real life through the six characters.
Yeah but everyone else grew a ton, as this video points out. (Less so Joey.) Chandler in particular imo.
@@marea707 I mean a lot of us were watching as teens and kids, so we didn't have a ton of wisdom or life experience or critical thinking skills under our belts.
@@FiddlebirdBlue that's fair (i was one too) but I'm clearly not talking about people that watched it way back when and are discovering it now. I've talked to a lot of ppl who would perfectly agree with this video and have been watching the show for decades but never realized this until recently. And there are a ton of these (most i see tbh)
But I will agree that your point made me realize that probably this has gain traction because friends is a show that gets rediscovered by new/younger audiences on the regular
Analyse him all you want but Ross in those leather pants was one of the funniest moments on TV
He may have been a dick, but goddamn some of the shit he got himself into was hilarious
Nobody could do comedy better that schwimmer gotta admit it
@@sreelakshmiramadas2392 this is true
Leather pants, pivot, "I'm fiiiine!", spray tan, the teeth, unagi... Ross is the comedic heart of the show even more than Chandler.
@@amanda_2829 of all the moments you listed, I only audibly laughed at the unagi part. Sorry to break your bubble but it’s still Chandler who is the funniest to me. I still don’t understand why some people laughed so much at the leather pants and pivot moments. He’s just repeatedly saying a word as an order? People do that all the time. I laughed more at his bagpipe moment tbh.
It’s funny how Ross and chandler haven’t copped with their past trauma, they just go through life blaming the world (no personal responsibility) while phoebe has made peace with hers.
Phoebe is in the same boat as them
Phoebe tends to use her trauma as an excuse to get away with things
I don’t agree w you on this lol. Also chandlers trauma stems from his parents divorcing, bc his father was gay, when he was very young. I’m just wondering what kind of ‘personal responsibility’ he was supposed to take for that situation? Also I’d argue chandler for sure learns to cope with all that bs eventually, a big part of his storyline is his growth.
Well, Chandler actually gets some character development. Ross gets worse every season (just my opinion).
chandler was traumatised tbh
I just remember the ep where he was super worried Rachel's father would bully him and then the problem was 'solved' because he and Rachel's father decided to bully Rachel instead
Omg I hated that too. I thought I was the only one. I always skip that episode
I loved that segment 😂😂...
@@icantthinkrn I loved that because I hate Rachel lol
@@SardonicJosh rachel hates u too
@@teenagedirtbag4823 what’s she gonna do? Charge extra at ralph lauren?
"I just don't think I can take another second of you whining.". My sentiments exactly.
I always had a weird feeling that Ross and Rachel wouldn’t be smooth sailing all the time when they first got together, simply just from the way he got rid of Julie so fast. It was like he was foreshadowing how quickly he throws everything away with Rachel so fast by sleeping with the first woman that comes along that takes his fancy and we didn’t even realise it!
Off the top of my head, I remember that he...
-tried to kiss his cousin
-made a huge deal out of his child’s nanny being male
-refused to get an annulment, just because it would hurt his ego (it’s not Rachel’s fault that he got married three times)
-completely changed his feelings about a girl, just because she shaved her head
-belittled Rachel’s career and attempts to do well in it
-tried (and succeeded) to get Rachel to give up her dream job for him
-dated his student
-let his parents hate Chandler for something he did for years
-got annoyed when his toddler played with a doll
-was possessive of Rachel, even when they weren’t together
-kissed best friend's mother
I know I could do a list like this for ALL the main characters but then again why bother because Ross still has to be hated more than the rest!!
He also:
- Knew all about his friends when he organized the question and answer contest for Monica's apartment and knew all the answers when the others did not.
- Bought Phoebe a bicycle when she told them she never had one because according to him we should all have our first bicycle.
- Proceeded to try and teach her how to ride said bicycle.
-
Purposely lost a game of poker when Rachel couldn't get a job, so she would feel better about the bad day she had.
- Was always supporting her sister when things did not go well for her.
- Attended her ex-wife's (who cheated on him with a woman) wedding with said woman and he encouraged her because the family did not accept that she was a lesbian.
- Bought an expensive pin for Rachel because he listened when she said her grandmother had one like it;
- Gave up a rare opportunity to appear on tv to care for a helpless hurt Rachel with no intent of ever telling her what he was sacrificing.
- Went against his own misgivings to kiss Joey so Joey could practice for a role.
- Agreed to stop dating to be at Rachel’s beck and call without argument.
- Paid for the ceramic dog when all of Joey’s furnishings were being repossessed
- Convinced Joey to talk to Chandler again when Chandler kissed Joey's girlfriend even tho joey decided Ross was his new best friend
- Twice, stood aside and encouraged Joey to follow his feelings in pursuing Rachel *(even tho he was sad about it)
- Respectfully spoke to Joey before pursuing a relationship with Charlie.
- Tracked Chandler down when he got cold feet before the wedding
- Then stayed with Chandler and walked him, step by step, through the process of preparing to get married.
- Stood as a barrier between Monica and their parents’ ill treatment
- Supported her in her relationship with Richard
- Loaned her money to pay her rent
- Brought her fiancé to the altar
- Gave Phoebe a place to stay when she needed one up until she abused the privilege by bringing in massage clients
- Many Ross haters fixate on the fact that Rachel got off the plane instead of taking her dream job in Paris. but they conveniently forget was that it was Ross who told a wavering Rachel that she SHOULD go to Paris once he saw how much it meant to her. Some even argue that his refusal to move to Paris with her is a sign of patriarchal oppression on his part. when they also forget that he was faced with the same dilemma in Emily’s case where he had to decide between moving to London and leaving his son, Ben, behind. Moving was not an option in Ross’ mind. That being the case, Ross was consistently depicted as placing Rachel’s happiness above his own.
-Rachel betrayed Phoebe by sleeping with her sexual assaulter
-Chandler kissed Joey's girlfriend
-Joey was an absolute womanizer, to the point of choosing a roommate because he wanted to sleep with her
-Joey tricked and tried to sabotage a fellow actor
-Joey made someone else’s award all about him and stole the award itself
-Rachel also frequently belittles Ross' choice of career and always expected him to conform with how she thinks life should be
-Rachel showd little to no respect to Ross
-Rachel actively travels to London to break up his wedding
I can go on...
@@nonyadamnbusiness4586 THANK YOU! So tired of the Ross hate
@@nonyadamnbusiness4586 So being sweet sometimes excuses the horrible things that people do?
By that logic, if I save somebody from an accident, do I automatically get the license to kill somebody too?
Anyways, the point is, Ross being a jerk is often unbearable (I can never make myself watch the episode where he makes a huge deal of Ben playing with a Barbie) and also, has very little explanation.
No seriously, Joey is an idiot. Chandler is scarred by his trans parent cheating on his mother who frequently talks about sex. Phoebe grew up on the streets. Rachel was brought up to be a sugar-pie housewife with zero skills. Monica was constantly shamed by her own mother. These don't justify their behavious of course, but at least I can SEE where they are coming from.
Why does Ross behave like an asshole?
His parents gave him an absolute free pass. Even when they learn he was lying about Chandler being the one tricking him into drugs, proving Ross even took an advantage of the free pass. They doted on him even when he decided to become Bea (which apparently is a monumental breakthrough in the 90's to NOT be sexist and/or homophobic).
He has a stable job, he gets praise, he is known in his line of work.
His sister COULD hold a grudge against him but she doesn't.
The show only shows the reason for his jealousy and anxiety in relationships. But about everything else, why the HELL is he being a dick?
I feel like a lot of this could have been forgiven if Ross and Rachel just didn't end up as a couple at the end of the series.
If Rachel had gone and lived her dream and left him behind because he refused to change, or if he HAD changed and given up his own life to follow her, it might be slightly more tolerable. You could have hope that Rachel might be happy later. As it is, I can just imagine the mess their relationship was repeating over and over until one of them passes away.
U like little witch academia?
@@hitankshee5131 no I just like diana. and sucy.
I think the worst part, is that it's super obvious that Rachel and Ross hit problems AGAIN just shortly after that. She never took that dream job when she should have, and has given up so much for Ross. If there was ever a reunion, I'm almost positive they would have gotten together, married whatever. Just to have gotten divorced and Rachel would have deeply regretted her choices.
when i waht firends for the first time I thought thah Rachel and Ross was meant for each other, but when I grow up and rewathed friends (10 times or more:)) - Ross is the worst. Rachel should go to Paris and never look back!
The thing about him often belittling his friends is true, but let's not forget that all his friends around him constantly make fun of what he does for a living and never take it seriously/take any interest. And on the topic of Rachel and Ross, neither of them take an interest in each others careers tbh.
@@gatheringtub63 This video reframes all scenes to make Ross look like a jerk.
@@TheLikenessOfNormal and i hate how she mentioned how he belittles other careers when he was actually very supportive of monica's and rachel's
@@rohankhubchandani3694 And like of course he talks a little shit about his friends jobs.
He's got a doctorate in Paleontology.
As far as equivalent jobs go, there's just Monica owning her own restuarant/being an executive chef.
Besides that his friends could all be college dropouts and have the same careers.
@@lucas-santos33 No shit sherlock. This channel is literally ran by two feminist girls. They even make Ross out to be the bad guy because he sometimes correct grammar or when he is trying to teach Phoebe about evolution or the fact that her mothers' spirit isn't in the cat, which is getting out of hand but he is the only one setting her straight.
@@Vincent-fv1ch They being feminists isn't the problem, Watson. Problem is this kind of procrustean video editing they do.
"He makes a rival of is ex-wife new partner...."
You mean: He doesn't like the woman his wife cheated on him with??
Imagine if your wife cheated on you with another man. Should you befriend this man? Seriously, WTF!?!!!?
Did you see him talking Carol back into getting married to Suzanne? And walking her down the aisle when her own parents had abandoned her. He even danced with Suzanne at the end, even though he wasn't happy. That shows how big hearted he is. As you said, imagin befriending the person whom your partner cheated on you with. Most people, including myself, wouldn't be able to even handle that. Now imagine walking your ex-wife, whom you had a 6-year relationship with down the aisle even though they cheated on you.
Like I've mentioned many times in the other comments before , Ross was the kindest friend among them.
Not to mention that Susan was a class A bitch
I was irked by the partners belligerent and patronizing attitude toward Ross when it came to Ben as though some how she had a more important place in the kid’s life than his own father.
While I agree with most of this video , your point is correct. I would've hated the person who not only cheated with my spouse, but also actively tried to take my hypothetical baby away from me . Ross was toxic , doesn't mean Carol and Susan were any less toxic .
If dragging Ross was a sport I'd sure be the ultimate champion
"I'm not a crazy jealous person" -Crazy jealous person
Haha, brilliant ! Last week I had a narcissistic "brainwashed" acquaintance angrily try to explain to me he was not brainwashed. I said "by definition, you would not know if you were." He wasn't happy. LOL
His attitude towards the male nanny made me realise that he is actually toxic. After that I could see that he has been toxic many times.
His behavior I think was normal. I think alot of men will be uncomfortable with male nannies. For toxic, I think pheebe was the most toxic person. Start of series Rachel was toxic too
"Rachel is just a waitress" oof
I believe you get minimum wage as a waitress.
@@SA-uz9sn No, you don't. Tipped employees make $2.13 an hour as base pay. If that combined with monthly tips doesn't equate to the federal minimum wage, the employer is required to make up the difference, but rarely will. Employees rarely know their rights.
@@SA-uz9sn lmao no phoebe is most definitely not toxic
Never liked Ross as a character. So whiny and needy. However, this Toxic Character Takeaway actually made me start to think that all the other characters are so flawed for hanging out with him and/or dating him. I doubt that this was the intent, but really, his friends/family enable this behavior by not calling him out enough and pushing him to change.
Ross's character is funny and my favorite on the show. This is ridiculous that people are analyzing his character 17 years later after the show is over. Stop over analyzing everything. This is all garbage. Stop with the PC crap!
@@aces12279 Honestly, I agree with you. I still don't care for Ross, but after watching a bunch of the vids from The Take about shows from a bygone era, I got fed up with the whole toxicity argument. The "toxic" characters/ideas/concepts almost always seem to be toxic on their own, as if they are in some sort of vacuum. Could the shows have done more? Sure. More POC as leads and not just scenery, more episodes about LGBTQ+, and so on...but the show came out in the what the mid-90s? 75%-80% was still white meaning that large chunks of the population probably still had maybe a handful of POC within their communities (obviously not NYC) and TV companies knew this (not to mention anti-immigration bills popping up all over the place), DADT/Matthew Shepard's brutal murder/etc were in the news, and so on. Whiny males/sensitive males/entitled males were just part of what was happening. I apologize if my message came across as overly PC. I did not intend it to be that way. I just thought if they were going to attack Ross for his failings, they should at least acknowledge the enablers, too. It is so nice that liberals today can freely criticize what was liberal in the past. I am glad the country is progressing and hope it continues to do so, but I do not think we get there by pretending that the 2020's were anything similar to the 1990s.
@@rickmarsh8379 Forget you.
@@malakaihernandez2235 Um. Okay? That's really not much to work with, nor constructive at all. But, feel free to "forget me" or whatever if it makes you feel better.
Yes, he did some pretty shity things, but he was way better than Rachel.
Ross was the kindest friend. He was really underappreciated. He kissed Joey to help him, he drove to help the others when they were out of gas in the middle of nowhere( and by the way, I think they were really bad friends to leave Ross alone. You could see how hurt he was when he was at Carol's. One of them should have stayed with him).
He skipped Discovery Channel shoot to take care of Rachel when she had a fractured rib, bought Joey that infamous fake dog, took care of Marcel, talked her ex wife back into getting married and gave her away at the wedding when her own family had abandoned her.
He offered to loan Monica money when she was broke and back at their childhood house he offered up some of his own childhood memorabilia so she wouldn't get upset that hers was ruined, he got the Sting tickets for Phoebe and that bike of course( the most wholesome episode).
He was so kind to that cookie selling girl, he let Rachel win at poker even though he is so competitive, he ended segregation in the museum cafeteria and went to sit with Joey, He agreed to not date anyone while Rachel was pregnant in order to be there for her completely, when Emily asked him to not see Rachel anymore he was gonna leave the group so Rachel wouldn't have to even though he had known the others longer while Rachel was trying to get Phoebe to leave the group with her. And I'm sure he did more things that I can't remember right now. Sure, he could be annoying sometimes, but he will always be the best friend in the group for me. He was always there for all of them and had their backs.
If anything, it was Rachel who didn't deserve Ross. She was the most selfish one, but I admit she had her moments too, but they weren't so many. She destroyed at least 3 chances that Ross had for happiness in his relationships. She wasn't even that good of a friend to Monica who helped her to change from a spoiled, selfish woman to a successful and independent one. She was the worst, but I don't hate her for it, and I don't understand you people for hating on Ross because of some mistakes. No one is perfect.
The one thing I would say in defense of Ross regarding Susan and Carol, I don’t know why he’s being expected to be ok with the person his wife cheated on him with. That would take a while to be ok with, but it seems like he’s expected to be fine with being cheated on right away.
He should never be expected to be fine with that, but he nevertheless repairs his close relationship with Carol, befriends Susan by saving her marriage, and never lets their animosity affect their co-parenting of Ben. There's actually quite a lot to say in defense of Ross's character. Attacking a (fictional) man for having insecurities is silly.
He shouldn’t have to be okay with it but he deals with his hurt in an incredibly homophobic way I know it was the 90s but still
@@griffinmcgonagle3272 "but still." As a show, Friends was very progressive and pro-homosexual. As a character, as I've said, Ross was the only important person who supported their marriage. Morally, you're hung up on mild insults while brushing off a sexual affair.
SuB SONiC no I’m not two things can be bad
Did Carol actually cheat on Ross with Susan?
Joey would seem way pervie if you removed the laugh track from a lot of his lines.
I know I hate how much everyone loves him, he is sooo creepy. Also he's literally a man child and people go on about it being sweet and cute, I can tell you in real life its fucking not. Its SOOO unattractive when a man can't look after himself!!!!!
See, this is the thing. I hate how everyone is piling on Ross, because it’s the current thing to rip guys like him to shreds. Don’t get me wrong, he’s weak, and his weakness is the root of all of his bad traits, but everyone now thinks he’s a serial killer. The whole point of the show was they were all horrible, self-centered people. They pretty much all had narcissistic tendencies but that’s the idea of sit-coms. If the characters were mature, balanced, well-rounded people, the show would be boring. I don’t understand why no-one gets that.
@@georgecaplin9075 true I totally get your point but taking office for example... The characters like Micheal are toxic too
But the show acknowledges it and jokes about it... This show makes it serious like we are supposed to go along with the red flags and it's okay... Another show like this is big bang theory which is incredibly toxic and mysogynist and just bad
@@georgecaplin9075 omg thank you. First comment i read that is actually making this point. I would even say that all of them were toxic to some extent. I'm cool with analyzing shows and seeing them through different lights, specially older shows, but dammit this video (and a lot of ppl making the points presented here) makes Ross sound like the worst character in the history of TV and the point of the entire show is that these ppl/characters are not perfect and that's what's fun about Friends and why we ended up loving them. Plus, it's a sitcom, every horrible trait is taken to the extreme because it's funnier in a 20 min ep. (And i wanna make this clear: i hate ross, always have, even if i still think David is hilarious)
@@georgecaplin9075 Thank you.
Ross was probably not the best person but I thought the belittling of his interest in dinosaurus and academic achievement from the other «friends» were pretty bad. They were almost always supportive of Phoebe’s idiosyncratic behaviors and interests. Not fair. Imagine how that can influence young people to believe that education is «uncool».
I see where your going with this, but I feel that it’s more along the lines of the Golden rule. Hear me out. The reason why Mon, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey were so open and nice with Phoebe was because she was back to them. Ross was condescending towards everyone else’s passions so it only makes sense that he gets a taste of his own medicine.
Comedy only works when you punch up, not down.
@@OfficialDeanAdler Ross was always supportive of his friends passions. The only time he is condescending is when Rachel keeps cancelling on Ross in favor or her job. He supports Joey’s acting career even buying the dumb ceramic dog, paying for Phoebe’s massages and goes to her shows, supports Monica endlessly, and even helps Rachel when she has a work gala to get ready for. He skipped out on his tv gig to help her despite the large opportunity.
@@Gaby-bx3cv you mean when he couldn’t stop debating Phoebe on her beliefs when he had to be right or let it go when Phoebe was grieving over her dead grandmother being reincarnated into a cat? You mean when Ross kissed Charlie, Joey’s ex? You mean when Ross whined about not getting the Porsche when Monica’s belongings were torn and he decided to go with the lie that Ross’s stuff were hers? You mean when Ross couldn’t even be faithful to Emily when she said not to hangout with Rachel because she was scared of the inevitable, Ross and Rachel falling back in love? You mean when Ross wouldn’t stand up for Monica for the countless episodes of their mom being so condescending to Monica? You mean when Ross blamed Chandler for smoking pot and STILL didn’t say anything to Jack and Judy when they hated Chandler until Monica had to say it? You mean when he hid messages from guys Rachel was into far after they broke up and refused to get an annulment from Rachel because he was obsessive and possessive of her?
phoebe took a car form a little girl, ross was right, and ross was faithfull to emily, you mean in college he said something and forget about it till 20 year later.
you guy blame him for everything but over look all the mess up stuff everyone else does.
The best example is when he went to Rachel's office when she was extremely busy. He then proceeded to try to set up a romantic dinner for two despite the fact that Rachel was too busy and kept saying she didn't have time.
did you completely miss the part where he hadn't seen much of her in a while and the time when he went to her office she blew him off on their ANNIVERSARY? I'm not condoning what Ross did, and it was insensitive how he was acting oblivious to what she was going through, but I do think you're making him out worse than he actually was, like alot of people these days.
@@Anonomius0Yeah but Ross could see that she was clearly busy and could've just made plans with Rachel to postpone their plans and have dinner the following night or something. He used their anniversary as an excuse to come into her workspace and try to insert himself where he didn't belong and she clearly didn't want him. He put his own feelings above Rachel's, rather than waiting until she had free time and doing something then when they could both enjoy it. He wanted to have dinner with Rachel that night and didn't care what she thought or wanted.
@@lilchaos9212 yes, there's no denying that ross was being an ass the way he was ignoring the situation rachel was being in. there's no denying that. But I just rewatched the last few episodes leading up to this and you could see how occupied Rachel had been with work that it was upsetting for ross and after all that not to be availalbe for their anniversary, something everyone assumed she would be there for?. I really think you're making him out to be far worse than he actually was. and this was their anniversary, it wasn't just any other occasion. I mean would you be satisfied if your partner had been unavaiable because of work for weeks and after all that not to be available for your anniversary even if to reschedule?
@Anonomius0 if it's work and I can literally see they are working not lying about it, I'm a grown up so I'd be fine. We'd do something when we're free.... God I'm coming up to my 7th wedding anniversary and if we didn't do anything for it, it wouldn't matter, we're still married and in love. He was being childish imo but if it was a non negotiable that she had to be available for anniversaries, they were better broken up.
@@Avoranation yes if this was their 7th annivervasry, it'd be different, but only would this have been their FIRST anniversary but rachel had been blowing him off for weeks before. This is what I hate about all these ross haters out there, it's really like you'redoing all you can to make ross the bad guy
Poor Marcel... he was illegally brought to the States and then had to live with Ross that donated/gave him to a zoo just to be stolen again and sold to work in movies. I really hated that arc in the series they treated Marcel's life as a joke all along
Same here. It wouldn't go down well at all nowadays.
Carol cheated on Ross with Susan....he has the right to be a little salty. He still managed to co-parent with them and even walked Carol down the aisle.
Ross did tell Rachel that she should go to Paris when he realized what it meant for her. Sure, he was divided in the end and didn´t want to let go, but neither did Rachel.
He was a nice guy in many aspects: he sold girl scout cookies for the girl who he was in accident with; he bought a bike to Phoebe and encouraged her to learn to ride it; he passed up on chance to be on TV to be there for Rachel without even sayin anything; he was there for Rachel when her dad had an heart attack without taking advantage of the situation.
All Friends characters are neurotic and have their flaws, in fact those flaws are over exaturated to make the show funnier.
Rachel is an equally flawed character and did very many messed up things as well. The most egregious was encouraging Rosse's date to shave her hair.
Thank God someone finally realised that THIS IS A TV SHOW! Everyone is amplified with their flaws, and everything is over the top and makes it hilarious. At the same time there are other qualities that are competely relatable to audiences which is why Friends has endured so long after the finale aired.
Underrated comment
Yessss very well said. I couldnt care less what is said in this video. Ross had experienced pretty shitty things. But he is very considerate and thoughtful of others. Sure he gets angry or upset and have meltdowns but thats initial reaction and when he calms he learns the right thing to do. I still love him.
@@HerHiddenHaven Guess who you just described?
Every single person to have ever lived, is living, or will be living.
Every human does good things and crap things. But we judge them when they don't meet OUR expectations. So maybe it isn't them that is always the problem.
Well said...
I can't believe a UA-cam video made me realize I had to get out of my relationship
U do have to!
Were you dating a "nice guy"?, glad u got outta there!
I'm late to the party, but I hope you have found happiness.
@@beccafichtner5305 I did .. thank you ❤❤
Yess I can feel you sis👌
The term “Narcissism” is thrown away too lightly here, and on the internet for that matter. Being a little self-centered or insecure doesn’t necessarily make someone a narcissist. A key trait of narcissism is a lack of empathy, and despite whatever this video tries to suggest, Ross has shown to have plenty. He often puts his needs second to those of his friends, and when it matters most, he puts his pouting aside to help them. Examples include giving his exwife, Carol, away at the altar; giving Phoebe her first bike; encourage Charlie to give Joey a chance even though Ross liked her first; bailing on appearing on National Geographic just to help Rachel when she’s sick (and already broken up); supporting a pregnant Rachel even though they weren’t married, and not dating the cute, black-haired girl and focus on supporting Rachel, even though she was being unreasonably jealous. Ross was also the one who convinced Rachel to go to Paris, even though he had originally tried to convince her ex boss to rehire her again, because he realised how much going to Paris excited her. Ross confessing his love at the airport is a sign of growth, because he finally became more proactive.
Exactly my thoughts!!!
Yes 🙌🙌
that's true, a lot of people nowadays use the word "narcissistic" when really they mean egocentric.
Totally agree! His mother has narcissistic personality disorder leaving him with narcissistic tendencies but he is not a narc
It's a fictional show, if we wanna think he's a narcissist, we can. 😂
I'm on ross's side when it comes to Carol being pregnant in the beginning honestly. Susan came in and they kicked him out of everything pretty much which isn't right in the slightest.
Exactly, the way that they wanted to exclude Ross from all decisions was horrible! They even wanted Susan's last name for the baby but not Ross's, which was crazy since Susan and carol had just gotten together and didn't even know if it was going to work out.
@@heloisamariani but it’s a lesbian, so gotta forgive her right? Sheesh I forgot how annoying this show could be 😒😒😒
@@LadyLeomon it was too politically correct in some ways but even then it was way off the mark. It's OK to be uncomfortable if some woman whips out her boob to breatfeed. Ross making joey and chandler 'grow up" and ask questions like they were in a health education class was so stupid. Then the whole thing with Ross not wanting to drink the milk. I have to say, I couldn't stand Carol and Susan
@@paulinegallagher7821 do you mean him not wanting to drink the _breast milk?_ Cos if so I don’t blame him! The only one who should ever be drinking that stuff is the baby it’s meant for! (And a certain kind of European pervert but let’s ignore them)
(There was a commercial like that where I live when I was a kid: mom went to work, dad was about to feed the baby his bottle of mom’s milk, looked at the bottle and decided he wanted to try a sip then mom came back, saw him drinking from the bottle and covered her breasts looking disgusted ... I have no idea what that commercial was for but damn if I still remember it and cringe 15+ years later 😖😖😖)
@@LadyLeomon omg lol really? Ive seen some American adverts and some of them are really weird! yes i was referring to the breast milk i thought it was the most ridiculous premise, trying to make Ross look like a backwards idiot for not wanting to try it. Carol and Susan were pure cringe
Ross: I wonder how many people went to see a movie called "jurassic parka"
me: hello? Devil wears Prada? greatest Fashion Movie EVER?
To be fair, that movie was still years away when that scene was written.
@@XanderVJ true. But still, that just proves Ross was just a pety men.
What means "jurassic parka"?
@@everyrose3225 A parka is a type of long coat that usually has a hoodie attached to it. Since Rachel's job is in the garment and clothing industry (also fashion) Ross was making fun of her by combining the name Parka and "Jurassic Park" (the movie about dinosaurs), essentially to belittle her.
@@theurelita Ah, thanks!
Rachel also sabotaged Ross's relationships.
1. She goes to Ross's wedding in England to tell him that she loves him. This trips him up and he says her name instead of Emily.
2. When he's dating Abby she convinces her to shave her head so that Ross can find her unattractive.
3. When there's a chance for Emily and Ross to be together she can't stand not seeing Ross ever again (because that's what Emily wants) so Ross breaks up with Emily.
4. Ross was perfectly happy with July and had finally gotten over Rachel until Rachel figures out that she loves him too. Rachel doesn't support Ross's relationship she even hates July. And who could hate July?
Ross has his issues and is by no means a stable person but I just needed to drop this in. Rachel's toxic behavior might have been a direct result of Ross's nature but she was toxic non the less.
2. Was Bonnie, not Abby
@@AmbyJeans Also, it was Julie, not July.
I agree that It wasn’t right hat Rachel did to Ross during his relationships with Julie and Bonnie. However, she didn’t end up telling Ross she loves him before the wedding with Emily, so that one is on him. Plus, he actually invited her to the wedding. When Emily asked Ross not to see Rachel, Rachel was sad but she did it. During the dinner where Emily finds out that Ross is hanging out with Rachel, Ross was the one who told her to join them. Otherwise, she would’ve stayed in her room. Plus, who wouldn’t be sad about not being able to hang out with one of their best friends after so long? Anyway, I do think that Rachel had some toxic behaviours during the show, but some of the stuff you mentioned isn’t really her fault when looking at it objectively.
@@ShawolB2uty21 Firstly, Rachel went to England to win Ross back, so her intentions were to sabotage his wedding, whether she ended up doing it or not.
You say that Ross invited Rachel to his wedding. Well, that was nice of him, wasn't it? See, he did something nice. Now somehow twist that into something that he did bad.
Emily's demand of Ross was unreasonable because Rachel shares an apartment with Ross's sister. So, if he can't see Rachel, he can't see Monica either, as he may visit Monica, and Rachel comes home. Now, Rachel shouldn't leave, it's her apartment too. Also, Ross's best friends live in the next apartment, meaning that he has to cut out seeing Chandler and Joey as well, in case Rachel walks out the door at the time, and they cross paths.
What about when Monica and Chandler got married. Ross was Chandler's best man, Rachel was Monica's bridesmaid, so they will cross paths? Emily's demand was unreasonable, and should have been ignored.
If Rachel lived in a different building, and didn't mix with them, then okay. But she lives where all the other people in life do, so to cut her out to cut them all out.
Also, wasn't it nice of Ross to stand up to Emily, and say that he is not going to exclude Rachel. That sounds like an upstanding thing to do. So give Ross some credit. But I forgot. He is a man, and aren't all men bastards?
You probably think most things aren't Rachel's fault, because women are never wrong in relationships.
Anyway, I pointed out TWO of the things Ross did which were nice for Rachel, and where he stood up for her or considered her. I could also mention him giving up a TV spot to help her through a bad date, or the other times he has bailed her out. Besides, Rachel has given as good as she got.
@@ShawolB2uty21 he also broke up with bonnie because she shaved her head and he didn't find her attractive anymore and couldn't even wait for her hair to grow
I see that nobody has added this to the dialogue yet. But when Ross slept with Rachel after pretending to agree to her letter, that was rape. He never agreed and had Rachel known that she would’ve never slept with him. He deceived her to sleep with her and control her. He is a garbage human being and a danger to every woman he encounters. It’s scary that the show suggested that he somehow deserved Rachel in the end. Rachel is a victim of abuse and deserved much better than what the show gave her in the end.
"You act like prey, but you're a predator! You use pity to lure in your victims! That's how you survive!" - Rick Sanchez
The stealth wokeness of Rick and Morty gives me life
@@FiddlebirdBlue bruh rick is 100× a worse person than ross. Also wokeness is cancer
@@mikediamantakis5528 rick is amazing lol
covert narcissism
Sounds more like rachel than ross
"Using her to complete his idealized vision of himself" perfect!
You mean this is how a bunch of script writers and producers decided to write this fictional character.
@@catscratchfever7540 lol nice
@@catscratchfever7540 WOW THIS SHOW IS FICTIONAL??? I think you're the only person on the planet that knew that. Thank you for informing the rest of us simpletons of such a shocking revelation.
**All** the main characters in Friends are incredibly flawed people when you break down their personalities, that's what makes them interesting -- because people in real life are flawed and never perfect as well. Anyone who thinks this just applies to Ross is blinded by some kind of bias or wasn't paying much attention.
Thank you. All people are flawed to some degree. It seems to me that what flawed people like to do most is point out and try to fix OTHER people's flaws. Drives me crazy.
Lmaoo there’s a difference between being flawed and straight up toxic
thankssss i mean ive seen this witchhunt of ross on buzzfeed before i started watching friends and i just assumed he was 'that' terrible guy. but now i watched in lockdown and im like...okayy..you either make these lists about JOEY and chandler as well especially toxic maculinity borderline homophobia or yall just jumped on a hating ross trend because..im a die hard feminist but i dont see how HE and not all three of them are like that
@@MissFreakinLOL but they were never portrait as nice guys. They never said that they themself think that they are nice guys. Ross portraits himself as the victim of his cruel world
@@Anna-ek4it so? Admitting to being a jerk is not an excuse to be one. Also i dont see how Ross is that victim complexy anyway
All* the main characters in Friends are incredibly flawed people when you break down their personalities, that's what makes them interesting -- because people in real life are flawed and never perfect as well. Anyone who thinks this just applies to Ross is blinded by some kind of bias or wasn't paying much attention.
That's not the point. Everyone has flaws, but Ross is the only one whose flaws cross the line into mental abuse through jealousy and possessiveness.
Ross also doesn't grow.
@@nebularain3338 i mean joey has done nastier shit and people let it slide
@@nebularain3338 not really. I've seen abusive behaviours in the other Friends. Why are you pretending it's only Ross
@@chaoticneutral4729because hes actually a good friend. Not perfect in any way, but at least he isnt selfish
I used to date a guy very similar to Ross and he was INSUFFERABLE. He was so insecure, always suspicious of everything, never took responsibility and believed the whole world was against him. It drained me from all of my enegry. But one thing I learned from the realtionship was this: if you notice a red flag, even the slightest one, run before it's too late. I'm still recovering💕
Great job and I'm sorry to hear what u gone through but I'm glad you're recovering! You got this
@Der Kommissar ???? you dont even know this person. calm tf down
@Der Kommissar she didn't say that at all?? please go get a life we're all begging you
My emotionally abusive ex wasn't quite Ross levels of absurd but all-caps insufferable is a good way of putting it. I've been in a lot of toxic relationships of every kind and here's the insight I learned the very hard way (less for you I C because it seems you already got it).
*It doesn't matter if someone seems like a bad person or a good one, if you understand why they are how they are, if they love you or you love them. ALL that matters is how they treat you and how you feel around them. If they regularly make issues out of nothing, make you feel bad, drain your energy, etc., it does NOT matter why, and do NOT stick around trying to help or otherwise hoping something will change.* Just nope right out. Rip the bandaid off. I've wasted years of my life on people. I wanted to be kind to them but I was being really cruel to myself, and I deserve my kindness too; you deserve yours. All the times I thought there were reasons to stay or put up with it or keep trying or just wait a little why longer? As soon as I was out, I knew they were all bullcrap and I wished I'd bailed a long time ago. Learn from our mistakes.
I feel for you. Mine was from the other gender but similar traits of insecurity and suspicion over all of my actions. When she met my sisters for the first time she told them we were “going to get married and have kids, and the whole life plan till death.” Luckily my sisters noticed the red flags I didn’t (I’m an idiot sometimes) and have me the “GTFO talk!”
I have mixed feelings about this analysis. It's undeniable that Ross is the most emotionally immature member of the group. But you also let pass moments in which other characters did the same as him, and willingly ignore the many nice acts of genuine kindness he did for his platonic friends. Based on your videos on Rachel and Phoebe, you're more prone to justify their selfish mistakes than you are with Ross'.
First the marriage with Carol. It's unfair to blame Ross for not realising that Carol was a lesbian, there's plenty of closeted gay people who live a double life. I don't blame Carol, because I know it can be hard for many to come out: but ultimately Carol cheated on Ross with Susan for years, and ended up taking their baby away, even though Ross was a devoted father and husband at the time. Sure, Ross' behaviour with Susan's was petty at first, but I doubt you'd say the same if Ross happened to be a woman who just went through the same situation. Ultimately, Ross did support Carol's decision, taking Carol down the aisle and making peace with Susan, so we see there's a seed of maturity buried deep within him.
Ross isn't the only one who makes fun of his friends' careers: everyone always belittles his love for paleontology. Even in Barbados they explicitly express how uninterested they are in his career and that they're only there for the vacation fun. I was particularly bugged with the gang's behaviour in the "Drink the fat" episode, when Ross invited all of his friends to an award ceremony he was having in his name by the National Geographic, and none of his friends took the preparations seriously. And I don't agree that Ross was in the wrong in that episode when Phoebe wanted to believe that her mum had reincarnated in a cat. Though I understand Phoebe emotionally, I think Ross was right in making Phoebe accept the reality, and not condone a fantasy and irrational mentality that so much abounds in our current culture. Why do you think we have so many conspiracy bunkers and an unhealthy clinginess to religion despite centuries of evidence that we should let go of those irrational ideas? Phoebe would have deprived a little girl of her cat, and none of the other friends had the bravery to confront her.
Ross wasn't the only one who acted out of jealousy. Rachel manipulated Ross girlfriend into shaving her head and make Ross break up with her, but only on her terms. She almost declared her love for Ross at his wedding with Emily, and she even confessed her feelings just in the middle of Ross' turmoils (though I'll grant her that at least she realised at one point that she was acting foolishly). Later on when they're raising Emma, both Rachel and Ross try to prevent each other from dating other people, it wasn't Ross alone. Though Ross is often the one in the wrong, it's not incorrect to say that both he and Rachel are often possessive, bitter and immature with each other. And Ross DID NOT pursue Charlie while she was in a relationship with Joey! He had been interested in her way before Joey did, and yet he even sacrificed his happiness to help Joey out. Did you forget the scene in which Ross suggests Joey how to impress Charlie with a tour on the museum, even though he was heart-broken himself? And how about when Charlie showed doubts about Joey, and Ross encouraged her to give Joey a chance despite his own feelings for her? You're deliberately framing him for things he did not do only to support your narrative about toxic masculinity.
On the other hand, I do think that Ross was in the wrong with the "We we're on a break" affair. I would also have liked for Ross to have been the one to move to Paris and give Rachel a chance to grow; or that Ross let her go, and Rachel realised through this act that Ross had matured after all. In that regard, I accept that his character has not aged well. And it's completely true that his insecurity often causes trouble around him. So yes, it's safe to say that from a moral standpoint, Ross is the worst of the group, and bad romantic material.
But as for his platonic relationships, he does show genuine kindness and support. He gave Phoebe her first bike; he sacrificed his attraction for Charlie so that Joey could have a chance with her; he constantly "was there" for Rachel even outside the relationship; and he was a decent brother to Monica. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we should definitely not emulate Ross' unhealthy behaviour patterns, but that it's also unfair to frame him as the villain.
Exactly! All the six friends are flawed people. Ross is not perfect in maintaining romantic relationships but so is Rachel. This channel ignores that aspect of Rachel just because of her character arc at the end of the show!
I agree with you. This video is very unfair to Ross. Most you tube videos are. I've never seen videos where Monica, chandler, Rachael or Joey get roasted. Joey is always praised, yet he's the baby of the group. Phoebe had her bad qualities. Rachael was the worst. All of them had issues, but, apparently, the monster is Ross.
Hear! Hear!
this was so worth the read. i completely agree with the points you’ve raised.
Thank you! You just destroyed this stupid video. I hope your comment gets more likes and I hope they won't delete it.
"Is he the worst character on the show?"
-Yes
"Is he annoying?"
-Yes
"Is he toxic"
-Yes
"Is he terrible"
-Yes
I may not like him as character , but i like David Schwimmer , i think he was the best actor on the show
''Is he the one that leaves us the meaning of not being a perfect person, but still deserve having friends bcauz everyone does?
-Yes.
No ones perfect, pls just accep it.
Sorry was not that you mentioning, if you look the criticize about him obviously you saw that way
@@lunasantos8446 não precisa colocar em inglês , pode escrever em português , o que você quis dizer com isso ?
@@henri191 quis dizer que o Ross não é nada comparado a isso que mencionaste, baseando nessas críticas, é fácil ires para esse caminho.
@@lunasantos8446 mas ele é todas esses coisas na serie e pra muitos ele é até pior do que isso que eu mencionei , é so você ler os comentários aqui nesse vídeo o que as pessoas pensam de Ross como personagem , em todos os lugares o personagem Ross é criticado pelo seu comportamento e personalidade.
Honestly all the characters in friends are flawed, it doesn't just apply to Ross, they all have their toxic traits, it makes the show more real. Also, it wouldn't be interesting if they were all perfect
There’s a pretty big difference between toxic behaviours and having flaws or being imperfect. Toxic and imperfect are not synonyms. They all had flaws, made mistakes, could be annoying, and occasionally selfish - as most people tend to be - but these are again distinct from toxic conduct that systematically hurts the people around you.
@@withinwithout6263 Rachel- toxic, and used her looks to her advantage, also very spoiled and bratty, neglected ross
phoebe- weird, and delusional to the point where she would mess up the lives of others
monica- had serious control issues and disrespectful to her own husband
chandler- mocked everything including sensitive topics
ross- was very toxic with rachel and over protective of her
joey- misogynistic and saw women as just sex, and controlled his sisters.
if you look at it that deeply, that's what you see. what you don't see is the amazing character development throughout the show and how they all work on their problems, together, as friends should. friends isnt a political statement, it's as real as you can get.
@@bumpercart9878 agreed!! You concluded it all 👏👏 but i beg to differ on ross’ character development. I don’t think he did because until the very last moment he still thought that they were on a break and got some issues with mark when mark had no bad intentions towards their relationship. That’s disappointing for me 😂 but for others, yesss they got some great development. After all i still love this series and still watching it over time loll
Toxicity can make you real. but that's not something to be promoted
@@withinwithout6263 I agree, I found this video way too puritan.
They did make a movie- it’s called the devil wears Prada.
A movie made years after that scene was written.
@@XanderVJ I don't know what season that comment was in. Friends ended in 2004, the devil wears prada book came out in 2003, the movie came out in 2006. They are comparable cultural comparisons.
@@vermin913 I'm pretty sure that scene is from season three, which came out in 1996. So Ross' line makes sense somehow
@@vermin913 they are not in this case, because Ross asks SPECIFICALLY about movie... "Devil Wears Prada" came out after the show already ended and the comment is from an early season (season 4 AT MOST). Even the book - if you wanna go that route - was published several years after the scene took place, so at that point Ross' comment is valid.
Not exactly nice, but valid.
"Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other friends?"
🤣🤣🤣🤣 luv futurama
That’s the problem with earth television 🙄
@@isabelleoh-criner6697 ancient
"Its true what they say Men are from Omicron Persei 7 Women are from Omicron Persei 9".
I scoffed so HARD!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Ross' worse traits are key examples of male fragility? Yes
Those traits resulting in bad consequences for him and his friends? Yes
Those negative traits being used to define the character as a whole instead of as a well-rounded nuanced person? No.
Kudos 👏👏👏
Ross is a representation of an average fragile insecured man, actually they all are representation of common people .If we consider each character, they have their own such problems but they also have good sides just like the common people . We can't say Ross didn't loved Rachel because he was always there for her ,he left most of his other relationship for her. And they both are toxic . Not every relationship will work from the beginning their will be ups and downs.
So the directors knowingly made the show in such a way so we can relate to every character in one way or the other . And that's why it's still popular .
How is Ross "fragile"? He had PTSD from being cheated which is common, he grew up over the seasons and got over it with time and never showed that trait again.
Damn!, you killed the guy with your analysis.. 😁
Good. He got it coming. He gets funnier and less stressful as seasons pass I think. I'm in season 4.
But did they lie?
Que onda Don, gusto verlo acá. Saludos y hasta mañana en el stream ✌
No mame don canguro
'Ross made an enemy of his ex wifes new partner' she had an affair with this new partner while she was pregnant. His hostility is pretty understandable...
I agree, had Susan been a man, everybody would have hated that guy and sided with Ross.
@@thrillergirl021 well the fact that they are lesbian is important here. Carol reveals being a lesbian. Not bisexual, not anything else, a lesbian. She wasn't happy in this relationship but getting out of a marriage while being pregnant is hard. Even more if you have to say "I'm sorry I'm a lesbian, this is not working"
Susan helped her figure out her sexuality and embrace it. Why would you see her as an enemy when all she did was making Carol happy ? (Plus I don't think it's fair to hate people because your partner cheated on you with them. They are not responsible for your partner's behavior)
@@swannbn2589 Being a lesbian and divorcing is fine. The fine line is in the fact that Carol left while still pregnant, and relegated Ross as the secondary parent, even though he had been a devoted husband. Carol and Susan even decided the baby’s name, without consulting Ross, which I think is pretty shitty because it’s not like Ross knocked up Carol and abandoned her, he was her husband and very involved and excited about raising the child. And Susan was right out hostile and mean to Ross, so it’s completely understandable that Ross wasn’t very accepting at the beginning.
@@fcv4616 i agree that was a shitty thing to do for carol and Susan to completely ignore Ross. But I think Susan was mean because never truly accepted her. He was even uncomfortable saying they were a couple bc he is kinda homophobic.
Agreed. The way they both treated him was disgusting
Scwimmer should've gotten an Emmy or a Golden Globe for his performance.
Haven't watched the entire series but I thought Ross was the funniest, you don't have to be likeable to bring the best comedy value.
@@lucheeese Completely agree, I think a lot of people won’t or can’t distinguish between a good person and a good character. Ross may not be a good person, by my god he’s absolutely hilarious and carries so many scenes and episodes.
@@lucheeese it's called the Basil Faulty Effect.
Chandler is my fav character. But Ross will remain the best performance. His expressions... lol
I'm kinda enjoying the fact that shit that was obvious to me at 16 finally being understood by the society 20 years later.
Joey: Womaniser who sleeps around, but chivalrous and caring towards his pals.
Chandler: Insecure and commitment phobic, yet absolutely dedicated to Monica
Ross: Neurotic, obsessive, controlling, demanding... Why exactly are we supposed to root for him and Rachel again?! 😳🙄
This is why Chandler is my favorite.
Friends is Seinfeld but without the morally-dubious framing.
Its been a long time since I watched friends but didn't Rachel and Joey date at one point and wasn't it a healthier relationship?
TBF, Rachel was a selfish, win/right at all costs type of female as well. She constantly kept Ross on a string and as much as Ross sabotaged every one of her relationships, she sabotaged almost every single one of his (except for Susan ... Carol? ... his first wife). I never could understand why these two should end up together. They were as toxic together as apart.
I think it's unfair to attack him for being territorial. Women and men who are not together shouldnt bd alone with each other. Its disrespectful
Not too sure about the homophobia. When Carol and Susan nearly called off their wedding, it was Ross who convinced Carol to go ahead with it.
And I think his 'issues' with them being together stem from the fact that they cheated on him whilst he was married to Carol. If Carol had cheated on him with a man people wouldn't expect him to be happy about the relationship. I get that it was harder for gay couples then (Carol's mum wasn't okay with it), but it's still crap to cheat on your partner. Like that example with him saying to Susan she doesn't make sperm, he was kinda pushed out of the family unit and his role was being diminished. That must be very hard to feel distant from your child
@@eleanormason2647
I hated when Susan told Ross that Ben was her baby too and she was trying to get in on naming the baby. Had Susan been a man, people would not be ok with him claiming to be Ben’s father as much as Ross is. It just seems like because Susan was a woman, Ross was supposed to treat her differently as though she wasn’t who his wife cheated on him with.
@@AmbyJeans I mean, when it comes to parenting, yes she's a parent, but when it comes to naming and sensitive things like that, there's a time to back off. I get it's tough to not be seen as an equally valid partner/ sexuality, but don't take it out on the guy that was cheated on by you
Yeah I felt like this was stretch. Ross was passive agressive because he felt inadequate to Susan seeing how carol not only cheated and left him but did it with some one/something he could never be (a woman) his jabs were from hurt and insecurity not homophobia. Same thing with sandy he felt threatened by sandys relationship with his daughter and his toxic masculine traits clouding his ability to be “sensitive” he’s hiding from that while sandy lives in it
I think the episode where they get a babysitter for Emma and it's an exageratly sensitive guy played by Feddie Prince Jr doesn't help him in his case of being an intolerant homophobe.
But that was a later episode and most characters had been flanderized by then. Early on though, he was pretty suportive to Carol's lesbianism even talking to her parents to accept her wedding to Susan.
I liked this before even watching cause I love dragging Ross so bad sorry not sorry
🤣🤣🤣
Lol
Don't apologize, Ross is definitely just the worst!
@@AmatMiguel that’s exactly what I think, but apparently some people like him, I don’t know how but still
@@auro8210 Same way people love the 'bad' characters in Seinfeld or Arrested Development or Rick and Morty.
I have watched his show a million times, and I love that all these characters are flawed. His friends enabled him? they literally mocked him all the time - for his passion for his career, his failed marriages, and his interests. I find it hard to remember them really appreciating him for these things ever. Of course he was insecure. But I really admire that despite it all, he actually doesn't stray much from what he loves doing. I mean these people are so sensitive towards Joey's acting career...which actually sucked. They were always supportive of that, but when it comes to fossils they would just leave. They always tell him things last, he and peobe live away from them, but then it feels like he is always the least close to them. Chandler was his best friends, but not anymore. Monica is his sister so that doesn't change. Rachel is just keeps fluctuating about her feelings for him and gets super jealous of he dates someone she feels is actually attractive. Phoebe and Joey are nice to him, and he is nice to them,
Yes, but in the show the friends call him out when he is being "toxic". They poke fun (when Ross doesn't want his son to play with a barbie etc...), and they generally recognize when he is blinded by prejudice or when he behaves let's say badly. When he screams at work he is even forced into sabbatical, he is not ok and his friends notice it (see the episode with the leather pants). I think that FRIENDS does a better job than How I Met Your Mother where Ted's friends do not call him out but encourage him.
Great point!
That's because friends is a girrrlsss show...
@@elijaheskin1 boys can't watch friends?? and girls can't watch himym? i beg to differ.
They can... But they don't...
@@elijaheskin1 they do because I do
Completely agree that he is the definition of male fragility. I do think he and Rachel deserve each other, but in the worst possible way. She isn’t as bad as him, but it gets close.
But we see that she grows and matures over the course of the show. I was really proud of her in the last season, and she deserved to go to Paris in the end.
@@Hugo-G Yes, Friends is really Rachel's story. The rest of them don't really have character arcs, except for Chandler.
@@kayliehutson02859 Monica and Pheobe have character arcs too. It's only Ross and Joey who stay the same throughout, although I would argue even Joey experiences some growth.
@@Hugo-G Hm, what do you see as Monica and Pheobe's character arcs? Maybe it's just been too long since I've watched it. I do agree that Joey becomes less of a womanizer, especially when he began to have feelings for Rachel.
@@kayliehutson02859 that she learns that she can’t control everything and not everything is perfect. In the beginning she was controlling and a neat freak but by the end she was relaxed. When she learned she couldn’t have kids, unlike the beginning where she would have forced it she instead accepted the fact and went for adoption.
“Sometimes it’s better to end something & try to start something new than imprison yourself in hoping for the impossible.” - Karen Salmansohn
I second that emotion! Ross had been pining after Rachel since high school. It was better to simply move on and accept that she wasn't romantically interested in him, then spend all those years being passive aggressive towards any guy she tries to date for years afterwards. 🙄
@@trinaq I used to consider Ross and Rachel to be the best couple, after 10 years, I saw a mistake in this couple, there are more disadvantages than advantages.
I really feel this. I was with someone who tolerated me rather than celebrating me. It took me years to get out and shake it off, and last month I finally got engaged to my guy. If I had stayed with the jerk I was with, I’d never have met my guy. Also, we wouldn’t have needed to buy a doormat, since I’d already be one and there’s no use in having two. 🤷🏻♀️
@@trinaq sorry what passive agressive? Ross could be jealous yes but never sabotage any relationship of Rachel, never put his feelings front of her, He cares so much to do that, but no,i forgot is Ross...
@@AmaraJordanMusic I can't find meaningful words.
I don't understand why everyone including the cast thought the plot of Rachel and Joey was bad idea. I felt their relationship was soo much better compared to Ross and Rachel.
I agree mostly but some of these analyses are unfair. Some are even wrong: Ross didn't cheat on Carol with Phoebe, that bit was after Carol came out and left Ross.
Yeah--I watch all their videos and have considered supporting them on Patreon but some of their videos--especially This one, the Ted of HIMYM one, and the Gunther one--full of black and white thinking, lack of nuance, cherry picked examples, and even just plain inaccuracies in that instance
To be fair, mistakes happen
@@snakearekat2634 They do. As long as there's somebody to point them out, mistakes are tolerable :)
So they're antagonising Ross for making out with Phoebe one time, yet they're fine with Carol cheating Ross several times with Susan while they were married?
@Tiz Arrior Can you explain to me how they are cherry picking? Don't mean to sound rude, I just wanna understand
never liked Ross tbh, neither the pairing of him and Rachel
Me neither. You could see her evolving, but him not. It was painful to sit through :-/
@@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 The reason Ross didn't evolve much was because he was, from the beginning, the most mature person in the group. He was weak emotionally but responsible and dependable as an academic, a father, and a husband.
I'm sorry for the long comment but I'm tired of seeing everyone jumping on the bandwagon of trashing Ross like he's the worst fictional character ever created just because of retroactive woke trendiness, when everyone on friends has made as many mistakes as he did.
He was written in the nineties (NOT USING that as an excuse for poor behavior or bad writing) and, yeah he has toxic masculinity problems, but guess what? That doesn't make him a monster, that makes him an inevitable product of a society that taught him theses values. Also, if toxic masculinity is a common problem today, can you imagine back then?!
And it's not like he doesn't get punished for his mistakes and learns from them.
He's insecure and a victim of his own toxicity that he learned from his father but with time and experience he becomes a better person (just like everyone else on that show (except maybe Joey)).
Also, here's a I copy pasted a comment by Mehul Bali
that I think encapsulates all the things people conveniently forget about this character when bashing him(I commented with*):
"Remember, in TWW The Embryos, it was Ross who, by himself, created the quiz that tested the group’s knowledge of each other. Without consulting them, Ross was able to create a test that contained detailed knowledge of the lives of everyone involved. He knew all the answers when the others did not.
Starting with Rachel, Ross was actually pretty great. As Rachel herself pointed out, he was “the best she ever had”.
He cared about her, even when she didn’t care about herself.
He was affectionate, loving and happy to be with her. He was attentive to her wants and desires: He bought the expensive pin for her because he listened when she said her grandmother had one like it; He forgave her when she betrayed Phoebe by sleeping with her sexual assaulter; He was attentive to her fantasies, renting a naval officer’s uniform because she made it clear that she was turned on by it.
He apparently dressed in a skirt and knee socks for her pleasure as is referenced by her when Ross plays the bagpipes for Chandler and Monica (If you are watching the Netflix episodes, this is edited out. You can find it in the blooper scenes on UA-cam, however). It was evidently for Rachel’s pleasure because when she lets it slip that Ross had done so, her tone is sultry and seductive, not accusatory or condemning.
He is a wonderful kisser * (Not that has to do with anything
) as Rachel herself states on two separate occasions, once when inadvertently talking her sister, Jill, into asking him out, and again when pointing it out to Mona as she and Ross kissed
He is selfless with respect to Rachel. He gave up a rare opportunity to appear on tv to care for a helpless Rachel with no intent of ever telling her what he was sacrificing.
He gave her back his tiny t-shirt despite being hurt by her returning his things, because he knew she loved sleeping in it; He agreed to go out with Emily in the first place, not because he wanted to, but because he knew Rachel wanted to be with Joshua; He agreed to stop dating to be at Rachel’s beck and call without argument.
Many Ross haters fixate on the fact that Rachel got off the plane instead of taking her dream job in Paris. What they conveniently forget was that it was Ross who told a wavering Rachel that she SHOULD go to Paris once he saw how much it meant to her. Some even argue that his refusal to move to Paris with her is a sign of patriarchal oppression on his part.
They also forget that he was faced with the same dilemma in Emily’s case where he had to decide between moving to London and leaving his son, Ben, behind. Moving was not an option in Ross’ mind. That being the case, Ross was consistently depicted as placing Rachel’s happiness above his own. These are the things he did for Rachel.
For Joey, he went against his own misgivings to kiss Joey so Joey could practice (Joey also confirms that Ross is a good kisser *lol); He paid for the ceramic dog when all of Joey’s furnishings were being repossessed; When Joey was angry with Chandler for kissing his girlfriend, Kathy, and made Ross his best friend, the first thing Ross did was to convince Joey to talk to Chandler again.
He, twice, stood aside and encouraged Joey to follow his feelings in pursuing Rachel *(even tho he was sad about it);.
He respectfully spoke to Joey before pursuing a relationship with Charlie.*(Even though he kissed her first but it's not like he wasn't thinking then. But the fact that
he spoke to Joey about pursuing a relationship with Charlie after that, speaks a lot about his character and how he values his friendships)
For Chandler, he not only convinced his best friend, Joey, to forgive him for kissing Joey’s girl; he tracked him down when Chandler got cold feet before the wedding; He stayed with Chandler and walked him, step by step, through the process of preparing to get married .
For Monica, he was always affectionate and loving; He always stood as a barrier between her and their parents’ ill treatment; He supported her in her relationship with Richard; He loaned her money to pay her rent; He brought her fiancé to the altar.
For Phoebe: He gave her a place to stay when she needed one up until she abused the privilege by bringing in massage clients; He bought her a bike when he found out that she never owned one as a child; He took the time to try and teach her how to ride it once he realized she didn’t know how.
Ross was, by far, the kindest, most generous and big hearted of all the friends.
If he’s considered to be a “bad guy” for insisting that Mark was after Rachel, it’s not like he was wrong. Mark was after Rachel and he used his position with Bloomingdale’s to get her a job so he could act on the crush he had for her. He most certainly did act on it, too.
He undermined Ross’ gift giving to Rachel with subversive and smarmy commentary. He got in Rachel’s head and caused her to chose defending Mark over maintaining the best relationship she ever had with the man she knew she was supposed to be with."
another copy paste (SuperCanayaZ):
"1_ He knew all about his friends when he organized the question and answer contest for Monica's apartment.
2_ When Phoebe told them she never had a bicycle, Ross bought her one because according to him we should all have our first bicycle.
3_
When Rachel couldn't get a job, he purposely loses a game of poker so she would feel better about the bad day she had.
4_ He was always supporting her sister when things did not go well for her.
5_ His ex-wife cheated on him with a woman and still attended her wedding and he encouraged her because the family did not accept that she was a lesbian.
Yes, very "Toxic"."
another one (Se7en Wonders):
"I’m gonna play devils advocate here ~ just because I am such a huge fan of the show and know it inside and out .... and say that I feel that you can make a video saying the same for any of these characters .... (Ok except for maybe Phoebe hehe).
Each of these characters were flawed. That was the point right? Over dramatized flaws that make us laugh as we recognize similar issues within ourselves and others in our real lives. Take away the laugh tracks for scenes with Monica’s over controlling behavior ~ such as the scene where she freaks out on Phoebe for not playing with her dollhouse “correctly” or Rachel moving the ottoman to the wrong spot in the living room or the hundreds of other Monica moments that made us cringe .... and she is always either quite frightening ... or extremely annoying.
Joey was an absolute womanizer, to the point of choosing a roommate because he wanted to sleep with her .... or when he tricked and tried to sabotage a fellow actor or made someone else’s award all about him and stole the award itself .... or the constant financial mooching. I’ll not mention the prosthetic leg and fireplace. 😉 We could all point out some unacceptable behaviors form these characters that would be mortifying irl (again except for maybe Phoebe). But the point is ... because of the comedic setting ~ each character has typical flaws that are extenuated and extreme because .... well .... it’s funny! 😉 With all of that being said ~ great vid!! The thought of a real life Ross .... yikes!"
Aand another one (The Hominid):
"Almost everything that is said in regards to Ross and Rachel's relationship could just as easily be turned the other way round... she frequently belittles his choice of career, shows little to no respect to him and expect him to completely conform to the way she wants life to be. Neither of them compromise. It is not so much that Ross is toxic, it's that they are both toxic.
Ross tries to stop Rachel from moving to Paris, Rachel actively travels to London to break up his wedding... seems a little unfair to blame Ross's behaviour on masculinity when Rachel exhibits much of the same behaviour.
It's also worth noting that Ross is a fictional character from a television show, and that one of the shows creators and head writers was a woman.
If you actually take some time and think about the six main characters in Friends, they are all all horrible examples of people and for the most part are terrible friends to each other.
It is still one of my favourite sitcoms of all time, and no amount of gender-based cherry picked character assassinations are going to do anything to change that."
Sorry for the long comment
@@nonyadamnbusiness4586 "Sorry for the long comment"- even repeating it - doesn't make writing whatever THAT was any less self-indulgent. I'm only sorry you put that much effort into it. Tl;dr is just a thing that happens to other people for you , huh?
Anyway, you lost me at "retroactive woke trendiness"- just a string of sneering cliches. I thought Ross was the least likeable character on the show when it first came out, and that opinion hasn't changed with subsequent watching.
As for your essay? I'm sure there's a media studies course you can take that to, but this is UA-cam comments. Why you'd want to write that in any case is beyond me, though: IT'S JUST A BASIC SITCOM, KAREN.
Jesus.
I shipped joey and rachel so hard
To be fair, rachel also meddles with his relationships and only wants him when he is taken. We need to see Emma's therapy.
This is true. The relationship was toxic both ways.
When Rachel went to London is a good example of that.
you got it all wrong. when women do it, it's also the man's fault......because patriarchy! or some other feminist bullshit.
yeah same with julie she tries to sabotage his relationship with a perfectly nice person, but rachel hates julie despite doing nothing to rachel, i mean while i still find many many parts of the show funny, but if we were to see the friends behavior in real life, they'd be terrible people just awful,
and yet i still thoroughly enjoy the show and the characters, this is really odd
@@sabin97 So we're talking about Rachel and suddenly you bring "feminist" and "patriarchy" when nobody mentioned it ? Nice dude, next time try to fully understand what those two words means before using them everywhere.
Literally everything this video pointed out about Ross, has been visible in the other 5's demeanor as well. You say Ross represents toxic manhood, but remember the time when Chandler was lecturing joey about his dissipating manhood, when he was living with an Australian dancer ( I don't remember her name). And literally Joey and Chandler sexualized women like anything. You call Ross hopelessly, insecure, but what Monica and Chandler. Monica was so pedantic and insecure about Chandler going to dinner with a friend, to get Joey an audition. And , Yes Ross did interfere with Rachel's dates , but what about the time Rachel literally balded his girlfriend. And Rachel (all his friends) also used to speak shit stuff about Ross's profession. And Rachel was that impulsive to leave Phoebe alone, and crash Ross's wedding to tell him that she still loves him. I am sure that's what you call self-fulfillment. And literally all of The friends were childish, and sometimes acted rather immaturely. And what about the time, Monica was dating a much younger boy than her? That's not wrong, but Ross dating his ex-student, who confessed about her feelings about him, is ? And Ross himself walked his ex-wife down the aisle, to her second wedding. I think that was a really selfless deed. I can never call him homophobic. You say Ross cheated on Carol with Phoebe, but Carol herself was cheating on him with another woman.
All of them had their flaws and imperfections, and I love them for that.🧡💛💚💙💜
Thanks for pointing out these things..! This video seems like half side of Ross.. they all had their flaws..
👏👏👏 perfect
Not really ....other friends did cheat on each other at some point or the other but none of them ran away or tried to blame it on the other person,they accepted it apologized for it and were willing to do anything to win their friends back and kept their friends first at any cost for example Joey left one of his gfs for his friend who thought Monica and Chandler were too bad to be out with then he didn't want to be with Rachel for Ross in the first place and then the other reasons then Chandler too faced the punishment by Joey when he cheated on him but Ross's character?? He was so insecure in the first place and then when they had a fight for that he just blamed it on Rachel for all and never ever accepted his mistake not only that he even told Rachel to move out for Emily which any other friend would never ever have done even in their dreams and in spite of his faults Rachel tried to keep the relationship with him but he never ever apologized and never seemed to change but just hang out with as many girls as he could so it is the most toxic character of the series undoubtedly not David but only the character
Their happy ending was not actually a happy ending but the most toxic one where it could have been written in a better way with Joey who fell in love with her when she was pregnant and that is true love and he would never ever do anything to hurt her for sure
@@sushmitatiwari1307 Yeah he was insecure sometimes. All of the charecters were flawed but perfect for each other. Ross didn't tell Rachel to move out, but he was the one who wanted to shift ,so Rachel can always be around her friends. At that point he just wanted to save his marriage, anyone would want to do that. But then he only confessed to Emily that he couldn't leave Rachel ,and thats how their marriage ended.
And Rachel also went out wid a zillion guys, and sometimes even was in a pretend relationship just for Ross. She was the one who never got over him, and interfered in his relationships. If it hadn't been for Rachel going on and about him, he would have easily moved on.
Phoebe was correct when she said to Rachel that her's was only some high school crap which no one really gives a fuck about. Cause unlike her, there were people on the show who had 'real' problems.
And Ross and Rachel were really on a break( my opinion). Rachel literally said it on his face, how can somebody deny that. Ross didn't call it off, Rachel did. At that time he slept with that another girl. Now it was on Rachel whether she wanted to take him back or not. But she was oblivious, and she started hitting Ross, and tried to seperate him from his friends, after that incident.
Right after that Mark also confessed to Rachel about his feelings for her. So, technically, Ross wasn't that wrong about Mark's intentions for Rachel
This takes me back to watching Friends with my step-dad and him yelling about how Ross is such a terrible human being. He kept pointed out to us kids to not be like Ross and care about other people, not just about getting what we want.
I'm glad he pointed that out! My mom barely even noticed the toxic behaviors of Ross while I did. I wish that the show teaches people not to be like Ross and gave him some awesome karma!
Yeah but did he yell at all the other characters for literally making fun of the collapse of his marriage because the third party was a woman?
Cause if he didn't, he just didn't like Ross.
Bro shout out to your step dad
@Alan James You know bad people can do nice things, right?
@Alan James I never said Ross had NPD. Point to where I said that, would you? Also, I see the points from both side. I try giving him the benefit of the doubt it a good amount of situations.
Ross didn't cheat on Carol with Phoebe cuz when they made out Carol had already broken up with him and left him for Susan
Doesnt matter she was gay they were in a relationship at the time.
Theres no excuse for him. Or you!
@@nobreluan4578 they were not in a relationship at the time. The whole reason he made out with Phoebe is because Carol literally just left him for Susan and informed him that she had been cheating. He and phoebe made out right after he and Carol broke up, so he didn't cheat
@@catsrule1343 *sigh* im not continuing this.........you are oppressing the lesbians not matter what you say ross is bad and he has no excuses...........
@@nobreluan4578 I am not oppressing anyone. Obviously cheating is not justified if your partner is gay. But what ross did wasn't cheating because when he made out with Phoebe he and Carol were already broken up. Carols sexuality is irrelevant here. Ross didn't cheat NOT because Carol is gay, but because he and Carol were broken up and no longer in a relationship. Go watch the scene and you'll see.
@@nobreluan4578 Lol how come that? They literally stop being lovers
Ross isn't prefect but this analysis has some very clear bias's
1.Ross is not the bad guy in the Carol and Susan triangle. They disrespected him by having an affair when Carol was still married to him. And they weren't "on a break either" Carol just flat out cheated on him. it's irrelevant what their sexuality is. Susan constantly demeans him so why should he like her? Despite all this he was still a big enough of a man to walk Carol down the isle at her wedding. I don't know any ex who would ever do that.
2. He has some bad habits but so do all of the friends? Phoebe is often selfish by just ignoring reality and the idea of "selling out". She grills any of her friends who purchase anything through a big corporation like Pottery barn or a large massage chain (which she ends up working for). And how is Ross the bad guy for thinking of the little girl missing her cat over the crazy friend who thought it was her mum. Being a good friend does not mean blindly supporting them when they are clearly wrong.
3. Speaking of bad habits, Chandler is constantly demeaning his friends though sarcasm. And don't get me wrong, it's hilarious, but it's not that much different to what Ross does. And he also thinks everything that went wrong in his childhood gives him an excuse to act out as an adult.
4. Rachel definitely brought out the worst in Ross but it went both ways. Rachel only let Ross be set up with Bonnie when she thought she was bald. She then manipulated Bonnie to shave her head because she knew it would freak Ross out and he'd come back to her. Rachel also led Ross on on the night of Monica's engagement simply because she was jealous. And she made it very obvious how much she disliked the baby store girl to Ross so that he would call it off.
Also, even though he looked like a complete lunatic during the whole Mark saga (probably the lowest point of the series for Ross) he was still right in the end about Mark. Mark was a complete snake who only offered Rachel the job because he was attracted to her. He was no different to any other "nice guy". He did to his credit prove to be a genuine dude in the last few episodes when he offered her the Paris job.
So yes while Ross is deeply flawed, he wasn't that much more flawed than the other friends, and to just ignore all of his good deeds in this video is extremely unfair
This was literally the worst video I've ever seen on UA-cam. Felt like I overheard some sorority club bullying over an insecure guy who most of the times is very genuinely helpful at the expense of his own benefit. Of course he has flaws, it's what makes characters funny. But most of his flaws are just words (the fun part) and he overcomes & redeems almost all of them by actions (genuinely nice)
Yeah I completely agree with what you said man, they completely ignored all of his good deeds. The flaws the characters have is what makes this show interesting in the first place, I don’t want to watch a show about perfect people. What made the ending of friends rewarding was that them getting back together meant that despite their flaws the fact that they both love each other matters more then their flaws. That’s something beautiful and that’s what ross and rachel were all about at the end of the day. I got the feeling that they were just decimating his character and all the work the writers put into writing him. I felt more political then anything. Also ross’s homophobia is not real. He didn’t not like carol because she was gay it was because she literally stole his wife from her like what do you expect from a man. He’s not Jesus. I mean cut the guy some slack damn. I also hate how they constantly say that Ross forced her to stay, when it was her decision in the end, she said on the phone that she diddd love him. I really dislike this image of women needing to be completely independent from men when we all need each other. Men are definitely dependent on women obviously you should be able to fend for yourself but men and women do need each other in life. Is it not a shame that we scold people for choosing love over a job. 😪
And, perhaps most importantly- you can't tell someone you want to have a break from the relationship, then say it's cheating if they have sex with someone else. That's really controlling behaviour- I'm not going to be with you, but no one else can have you either. And he clearly didn't just see that as a pass to go "woo I'm gonna get laid", the girl from the copy place was all over him (in a very unrealistic "fun girl bizarrely is desperate to get with dull guy" example, but that's another issue).
True, this was a bad video.
Wow, I only just got the bit where they try to make him out to be the bad guy for stopping Phoebe from stealing a little girl's cat! Phoebe isn't really the villain here either- the other four are, who basically want to do something really horrible to a child because it's funny. The fact that the video creators see that and see Ross as the bad guy shows they've lost all sense of nuance by the endless "bad Ross" articles.
7:32 the ironic thing is. 2 hours after they broke up ross sleeps with another woman he just met. Smh the hypocrisy & fragile masculinity of the man. Yet rachel kissing a coworker she actually likes and has know for at least a week is insulting to him.
Rachel is no picnic either... She makes Ross leave at least three girlfriends and one wife for her... In a way, you could say they deserve each other... Poor little Emma, being raised by wolves!!!
Yes, that makes sense. While Ross has his more noticeable flaws, Rachel can be just as selfish and needy. For instance, despite all the praise she receives for being a wonderful mother, she's neglectful at best.
Agreed except for the wife thing, Rachel didn't make Ross leave Emily. Ross did that on his own
I thought they were both terrible in their own ways.
Indeed, further, his career is not on a field that favors mobility. He could take a sabbatical, but what would be their long term plan? And the episode they were a break she was very difficult with him as well. He was terrible with other women, but the points towards Rachel are more murky.
@@fluffypancakes3708 Hugh Laurie would beg to differ.
To be fair, staying really close friends while still having intense romantic feelings for each other seems, just judging from my real life experience, already like a pretty toxic situation in itself
totally
Yep, irl the friend group would’ve been split up and moved on with their lives
Yup I unfriended the last girl I had feelings for because she didn't feel the same, hurt like hell and I miss her but it was the best decision long term imo if I stayed friends it would of just keep tearing me apart seeing her with other dudes and while I just told her I needed some time away from her indefinitely I don't think I'll be going back to that friendship in the future there's no point I'm gonna still like her and feel things again and while I love her and care about her deeply I have no interest in being her friend it's not good for me not for a while at least.
I am watching season 4 at the moment and it's so weird to me that Ross and Rachel hang out together literally all time, while they are obviously both hurting, and are constantly hateful towards each other
@@Leoink1 sorry to hear that dude. I experienced about the same in summer 2019. It broke my heart knowing she was with someone else and I realized we couldn't be part of each other's lives anymore... I am still thinking about her sometimes
Not denying that Ross didn't have his set of flaws. But, this video essay seems to have pushed it to the extreme and built a narrative to unfairly portrait everything he did as toxic without any good deeds. There were many instances where Ross willingly sacrificed personal gains for the well being of others.
Discussions about Ross always lose me when they discuss the ending. Rachel moving means one of his children is also taken from him. If he followed her to Paris as they suggested, he would have to leave behind the other. I can never get behind Rachel putting her career over her daughter's relationship with her father.
Thank you! You took the words right out of my mouth.
Narcissist: him stopping Rachel from going to fricking PARIS in the end cause he was only thinking of himself ‼️‼️
Props to the writers of friends for creating such a complex and yet consistent character
He's straight up toxic.... Nothing complex about it... Do you even know what makes a character complex yet consistent? Google it sir...!
it would have been complex if throughout the seasons he would have changed and realised his toxic traits but he got no character development
@@snehasinghal491 he developed the most of them all, along with rachel.
@@vymancross3551 being toxic does not negate complexity. he definitely was complex. only if you want to see the bad in everything can one come tp your conclusion
he is no different than most men on internet or men in movies at that time
As a 14 year old who watched the finale, I was very happy for the ending, but that was before I was in a real relationship. Having watched the series from beginning to end, I wish Ross had gotten some character growth before he got back with Rachel. The "I got off the plane," is way less romantic than, "I took a sabbatical from work to join you in Paris.?
Character growth is just for Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel. Joey goes through regression. But the Gellers stay the same.
He couldn't go to Paris because of Ben
@@danielagonzalez2008 Just to make sure, when he was planning on marrying Elizabeth, was he planning on living with her in England? I think she was going to live with him in America. Ben did not make too many appearances in the episodes, and so I can't imagine him being too bent out of shape by seeing him once a year.
@@bef9612 I think that they were supposed to live in the USA after they got married, also the actress that portrayed Emily was cut from the show because she was pregnant and unable to travel there. Also, no matter how many appearances Ben got on the show, Ross fought hard to be in Ben's life, only for that to be taken away from him...and having to choose between his 2 kids.
To be fair... all three male characters represented male fragility and Rachel was his female equivalent in terms of toxic characters. They were both the most problematic
Exactly!
@@orkumm the things Rachel did and got away with were horrendous
Joey was the only character that was the least toxic
@@alski200 remember the time he ruined a role a student was going to get because he was jealous
@@matthewsierakowski5546 That's not really being toxic though.