The Users Guide to Relationships by Don McMillan
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- Опубліковано 15 жов 2013
- Engineer/Comedian Don McMillan uses his expert problem solving skills as one of the leading technical consultants in the world to tackle the one challenge that man has not been able to crack since the dawn of time: Relationships.
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This guy actually understands that a good PowerPoint presentation isn't just "reading what it says on the slides"
Thats because there was barely any text on the slides!
In a normal school presentation you have to put text AND say something different somehow. Whats the point of the text if you have to explain it to them anyway!? Theyre not going to read any of that unless you do!!
@@PurpleBroadcast You shouldn't be writing paragraphs of text on a power point. It should be short and to the point. You're presenting with your mouth. Only relevant information should be on the power point. The speaker presents not the power point itself. Otherwise there is no need for a personation
We used to call it “death by Power Point”. Somehow in this it fits.😂
@@dude3278that is correct. However schools toss this out the window and make you present block text to everyone if you want a good grade.
A powerpoint presentation should be thought of as a presentation without power point slides at first, and then you use the power point slides to help explain what youre saying better. Its like explaining something and then realizing you need to do that with a piece of paper.
The ending gag of “that’s how I knew my wife was the woman for me” was actually really wholesome though. Kept the skit from going to ‘wife bad’ mode
Oh it's get better? I was scared.
it still reeks of "wife bad" boomer humor
@@mchammer5026 The difference is that it's not only the males that are boomers in these situations, it's the women too. There are lots of middle aged+ women that have "husband stupid, lazy and useless" as their only speaking point but they keep him anyway. It's all just elderly romance bickering which goes both ways. It's just that one of them chose a career as a comedian and doing the stories as comedy bits while the other didn't.
@@mchammer5026 There is no whataboutism. He makes jokes about his wife in public and she's okay with it, she makes jokes about him at home as evident by the last joke in the presentation. Would you really think he would be able to support himself and the family through this type of humor and work if she didn't approve of it? Let people do what they want with their own relationships. They hardly need someone on UA-cam commenting ten years later that he should be more considerate. She's fine. You stepping in like some knight in shining armor just shows you think she's not capable of anything on her own when in reality he most likely gets his ass whipped good back home. She can stand her own, believe me.
@@Henkibojj that's not the point, the point is that it's lame, unfunny, and promotes sexist stereotypes, not that it hurts his wife.
5:30 - not quite correct. In the summer, my wife wants to run the air conditioning until it's 69F, but in the winter she runs the heat until it's 80F. So, her preferred temperature is not a number in degrees, but whatever causes the largest possible utility bill.
Maybe she wanted to counteract the effects of the time she was outside
Using the power of deduction I have determined your wife is hot.🥁🥁📀😁
I (female) and my coworker (also female) share the same office space. The temperature war is a big thing as i like the temperature being between 18-20°C and she likes it above 25°C...
This, it's like they're unable to comprehend the concept of a thermostat. You don't need to raise the temperature in winter and lower it in the summer, just set the same comfortable temperature and the system will do what's needed all year long.
Fun fact! This actually isn't as insane as you might think, because of radiative heat losses! While you lose some heat to the air around you (conductive losses), you lose between half and 2/3 from radiative losses directly from your skin, via infrared, to the walls!
Thus, when the walls are colder in the winter, you need a higher air temperature to counteract the greater radiative losses through the walls! And in summer, a colder air temperature to counter the amount of heat the walls are radiating to you! Hence why my prefered summer temperature is 68, and winter temperature is 70 lol.
This also gets worse in older homes where the walls are colder. Newer homes, it's way less of a thing.
Regarding the thermostat, I always let my husband decide. If he was hot, he could only remove so many layers, but I could always add a blanket or sweater.
In later years he would be so cold, I would have to light a sweltering fire in the wood stove. I would have my hair in a ponytail and my pant legs rolled up. I would be busy in the kitchen, then realize he was gone. I would find him on the other side of the house in "Siberia" away from the "Sahara ". He would say, "It's too hot in there." I laugh whenever I think of this, then cry as I realize he's no longer here for the last 5 years.
jesus christ
Gah damn
It's sad to hear, that your husband is no longer with you, but as Dr. Seuss said: "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".
Sounds like your marriage was happy and I would be very glad to have as loving a relationship as you did.
You are the exact opposite of the meaning of your youtube name. May he rest in piece!
Ngl i don't wanna engage in negative stereotype but you seem unusually caring and receptive for being a Karen. Truly a pleasant surprise.
Weirdly enough if you look at the GPS tracking data for the mall the wife didn’t even leave the store 😂
I actually think she retraces her steps around the entire mall
She just keeps looping into Sears when you think she’s about to finally enter GAP. It’s like she keeps reminding herself she needs to go there but keeps gets distracted every time.
Its not how much she SPENT, its how much she SAVED at the mall..
YES
Yes in the magical land where somehow spending money saves it alongside the "it's ok I can write it off on my taxes." I facepalm every time I hear that. If you spend 100 dollars and write it off that means you are still 70ish (assuming roughly 30% state/federal income rate) in the hole in that transaction.
Man... I thought I'm the only guy who knew girls with this attitude. "In relative terms it's better" XD
For me, the "Do you want to have sex again?", if asked unironically, would be devastating. It would destroy my trust in the person on 3 levels. Level one - she implies that she doesn't enjoy sex with me and has been faking her enjoyment(which is very important for me). Level two - she implies that I care about sex more than I care about her as a person. Three - she exposes herself as someone who is ready to emotionally manipulate their partner at the drop of the hat. I honestly don't think I could be with a person who does that on the regular just to win in a pointless argument. At that point I would rather have a non-sexual relationship from the start. Hopefully it's an over-exaggeration.
Actually, those are very good points.
Im gonna assume its for comedic purposes but alsooo sex is a nice tool
This answer is also not an option.
Ultimatums should be a game ender for someone who recognizes them.
Same. Sex and other forms of affection should never be used as a bargaining tool. "I'm not going to love you unless...."
We all know who came up with that cost per minute idea for the efficient shopper.
Very smart ending 😂😂
4:22 having a mom usually teaches you this from a young age lmao
That's a terrible thing to be taught.
Now imagine how boys turn out when there ISN'T a father to counterbalance this... They turn out gay a lot more often.
@@crackwitz I wouldn’t say there’s an issue with being gay. The other side effects of not having a father figure in your life are problematic, I agree.
@@tjeffersonb I wouldn't say there's an "issue" with being gay either. I'm saying it's a reasonable reaction to women.
this guy deserve's an award
for being mysoginistic?
@@Lora_Beolab heheh feminism
Weakest man award?
@@Lora_Beolab Holy shit you're braindead.
WAIT!!! The mall tracking thing.... She doesnt exit. There is a 3 way junction in front of the gap. So not only did she hit every store but the gap attempting to even ENTER the gap initiates an infinite loop...... Man, its a good thing she got all of her shopping done beforehand.....
Only way to end the loop; declare a sale is happening at JC penny
"but the gap attempting to even ENTER the gap initiates an infinite loop"
Your sentence is kinda' fucked up there.
Obviously he's joking but in all seriousness if this is how your girlfriend acts do not marry her, half of these are funny as jokes and actually abusive as actual acts, like the flow chart.
That sounds like hell.
If logic goes out the window, she goes with it.
How women shop vs men
=
How you traverse an adventure game vs how you traverse a horror game
Nah, my adventure game (Morrowind) goes : 3000 speed and 3000 acrobatics. So, where is that damn cave!?
Does one also have to try every item on everything, like in most adventure games?
When learning about men and women arguing I actually think Rick grimes in episode 1 of the walking dead said it best. “You wanna know the difference between men and women. It’s that I would never say something that cruel to her… especially in front of Carl. That’s the difference between men and women.”
0:43
"Your spouse's looks and your vision need to deteriorate at EXACTLY THE SAME RATE."
I don't think I've ever laughed harder at something than that LMAO
Love how he did this skit for multiple years unsure whether his wife was the woman for him
The thing about many women being really cold is likely due to periods. Losing blood every month like women do reduces bodily iron, and iron deficiency results in the person being cold more often, man or woman.
Due to women losing blood every month for about a week means they're losing a fair amount of iron every month, resulting in lower iron levels, meaning colder woman, thus this dilemma
So you're saying that birth control will solve the thermostat dilemma?
@@bable6314 Maybe? In a way, combined with more dietary iron, it could
It's mostly just thermodynamics. Smaller people have a higher ratio of surface area to mass, and surface area is how we lose heat -> feel cold. It's the same reason animals get big in the ice age, bigger animals are less cold
Now the harder part, develop the Engineer's user's guide to approaching and dating women. Marriage is a money game so engineers can potentially excel there.
Don't even think of bringing Excel into this! PowerPoint is enough thanks.
Power point had Always so much comic potential and he Is really really good
1. Sex topics never got me this much laughter. Thank you.
2. I'm so blessed to not have a wife like that. She hates shopping and she lets me win a third of our arguements.
still a high number
I'd hurt myself laughing if your wife jumped on to say "no, I let you win half the arguments!"
I did it. I got the 69th like
Is your wife a man?
Mine never lets me win and then complains that she never wins an argument 😮
"And I changed the mobile; all the other planets revolve around Pluto now." Since Pluto is no longer revolving around a star, it's not a planet. The 3D chess to win that argument covertly is inspiring.
Once in my life I got it right. I was chatting with a girlfriend and I started to say, "I read an interesting article about astronomy today." Then I thought that she might be bored with this subject, so I said, "Well, I don't know if you're interested in astronomy." She took this to mean, "I don't know if you're smart enough to understand astronomy", and was insulted. I tried to explain that I meant exactly what I said, that I didn't know if she was interested. But she wouldn't let it go. She kept insisting that she was smart enough to understand and why did I think she wasn't smart enough etc. Then finally I got a burst of inspiration. I said, "Okay, it's just that there's this stereotype that all incredibly sexy women must be dumb, and sometimes I forget that's just a stereotype." She was satisfied with that.
My dad just sent me this video...
Ouch
Same lmao
He’s been doing this for three years and survived? 😱
I thought it was hilarious but I was afraid to laugh. Definitely in the danger zone of where past girlfriends would have attacked me 🫠. I imagine most of the men in the crowd were the same way 😅
Great skit. Meant as a compliment. Just fascinating how it made me clam up :). This guy and his wife seem pretty cool
3:48 Marriage Logic Map Damn Hilarious! 😂❤🔥
Greatest standup of all times😂😂
This needs more views.
Her path never even left the mall!
I have seen the light
Awesome! You earned a subscriber!
Can't argue with that logic.
He was forced to say the last line. "My wife was the woman for me"
Thank you Don! Very cool!
Thank you Don! Very cool!
@@Prenroke Thank you Don! Very cool!
This would be impossible for me, as someone who basically relies on logic to make almost every decision. in my world, the person who wins the argument is the one who actually is right, and threatening outside consequences (i.e. in this case sex) would automatically disqualify whoever made the threat.
If you want things to go the way you like (in your case: where the person who's right is the one who wins) then you need power with which to make that happen. Desiring and insisting on an outcome are insufficient by themselves. The reason the speaker in the video loses those arguments is he lacks the power, or will to use the power, needed to match her power.
Best of luck getting and keeping the power to ensure that outcome
I agree with you, but I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you're single, or have changed your position in the past 6 years.
You… do understand this is a joke? He’s a comedian…..making a joke.
Indeed!
@@sophiebetts6278 as of recent, it appears most ppl cannot make that link.
3:08
Q: Are you saying I’m dumb
A: I’m saying you’re not informed on Pluto
Q: I don’t like the way you argue
A: No one does
Q: So you are saying I’m dumb
A: No I’m saying you’re not updated on Pluto’s current status
Q: You don’t respect me.
A: I don’t respect your view on Pluto
Q: Do you even care about my feelings
A: I’m married to you of course I do
Q: Do you want to have sex again
A: I’ll j*ck off to the memory*
*Disclaimer this is a model of what I would do. Not an instruction manual do not try this at home.
CPM is the metric I’ll use from now on! 😂
This is HILARIOUS!
Pluto is now a planet now
You are awesome 😅😅.
Nice Comedy, keep it up.
I find it hard to believe he got pants at The Gap for $33 in 2013.
The second he said “watch where this goes” and pulled up the graph to plot the argument I paused it and lost my shit. Now I’m posting this because god damn I’m light headed without even seeing the bit yet.
His wife's mall walk looks like the space filling curve.
06:44 I think Laura is trapped in Sears. It says she left, yes, but it also says she never left the mall.
Pluto has since been restored as a planet giving legitimacy to all the kids who called the Neil Tyson a Dumbass. Always had been.
I legit took a screenshot of that women's right chart lol good stuff
I agree with her. Pluto is a planet!
The comedians name and the posters name are opposites
Ur right lol
Me: Engineer❌️
Comedian✅️
Don't know why the audience is laughing. This is all true.
Bro this looks like a war strategy presentation 😂😂
it's the American Dave Gorman!
all comedies came from real life tragedies
This is all funny, but I really don't get the last joke. Assuming that they both spent the money on equally useful things, his wife was still spending it slower, making her a *lower-efficiency* shopper. So this time Don was right and Laura was wrong. According to the chart, that means... oh, now I see, Laura was right.
Absolutely critical to have an inefficient vacuum method in order to actually get the room clean.
Cyclomatic redundancy makes it sound effective.
No
For real, there ARE marriages like that and i couldnt live one day like that
i think laura forgot to consider the opportunity cost of 3h 20 mins, so she's wrong.
since don is right and she is wrong, laura is right.
Funny af
Also saving on gas as she doesn’t need to return to the mall as often
I am married and I am going to remove this from my browser history.
Pluto is a planet 💀
Pluto is a dwarf planet so they are not wrong and not right
Uhh, you can be right or you can be happy.
If I have to be a doormat to have sex I'd rather never have sex ever.
Bro isn't a simp
Id like to be a door and get slammed sometimes
If women don't work out for you, you could try men. The only difference is you have to obtain kids rather than DIY.
Yeah, just keep telling yourself THAT is the reason you're not getting laid... LMAO...
Don's wife sounds like a real battleaxe
Norm
the 4:25 is so fucking true, if we are both are wrong and mistake on something. Then I am to blame because well I should have thought of it. Even if we BOTH should be equally responsible. That just isn't true
I guess equality isn't actually desirable in a marriage?
women ☕️
🤣🤣🔥
Poor wife never even made it out of the shopping mall.
a falta de aplausos e risos durante esta apresentação é muito elucidativa....
Yes. Indicative that you are hear impaired
@@ilmaio also that I got that the applause is very dull indicating that the man were afraid of laughing and clap properly because of the wifes. But this joke makes no sense if I need to explain it
Well that’s a big gap
That's what SHE said
Anyone arguing the way she supposedly did about Pluto,is patently dishonest.Straw men are also her friends.
Its a fucking joke.
"Trying to help?" Just help.
Oh lovely here come the people who have never lived a day in actual marriage let alone understsnd the cultural context of the vid and think their clown world view is a universal constant and will just take this vid at face value. How unique and original
Getting a divorce is not that hard nor is it that deep
Furthermore, if I see a guy complaining about his house falling apart, and I see the house falling apart, I dont need to be an architect or have ever lived in that house to be able to say "that house is falling apart, maybe you should consider moving"
Okay boomer
"90% of UA-cam comments are just making up a guy and then getting mad at him"
Culture context of 90s marriages being hell on earth and men being simps. It was a female let marriage and it was never going to work in the first place.
Its a comedy show….
What the hell did youtube recommended me! Not complaining though..
Yes, she gets uou into your death penalty, and she is right.
This would be 500% easier if women could just behave normally
Genetically impossible...
All you showed was that women are the ones who will go out of their way to make themselves seem right, no matter how in the wrong they are.
His reasoning behind not hanging Pluto is absolute NONSENSE.
Would you not hang the sun because it isn't a planet?
Okay this just sounds like an incredibly unhealthy relationship
Man I forgot how simpish men were in the 90s. No wonder marriages aren’t appealing anymore.
"Simpish" sounds hilarious.
Being married actually makes men more attractive to women.
Hypergamy
@@RichmondOseiBonsu is that where the term "got game" comes from
I know its a joke, but if your relationship arguments look like that then you are in a toxic relationship. Your wife is manipulating you.
If my girl used these kind of stratagems, it would actualmy lead to divorce.
This man made the serene moment of hanging a mobile for his child together with his wife a dispute about the status of Pluto. I think he is the one who needs a guide. Ladies, anyone?
*He* made it a dispute? *They* made it a dispute.
But hey, I guess this illustrates the logic gate joke: both wrong? Man is wrong.
I don't like the argument part, I would probably stick to pluto is not a planet and watch her seethe
That's also probably because I don't have a wife and I'm straight
If that is your relationship, if that is how your wife "argues"/treats you, you probably should get a divorce.
you do realize it's for comedy right
@@Monochrome2004 And did he invent the content of the comedy out of thin air and nothing like that ever happens. It might not be really in his relationship but in some people out of 8 billion do and if that is your relationship...
Bro he highlighted all the bad parts of the marriage, they probably have a wonderful time together.
Lol my thoughts exactly
@@charlieblank3393 Those are dealbreakers for reasonable people.
Now if only she had less minutes, that would be the dream.
this is the most boomer presentation i've ever watched in my life
Can't believe at least 1/3 people in the comments are saying this is actually misogynistic. Humor is so dead, good luck to any comedian trying to be original out there
You aren't allowed to just say whatever you want and tag "It's a joke" on at the end, as if everything you said up until that point was completely irrelevant and nonsensical.
Women ☕️
Seriously, if your partner threatens to withhold sex, your relationship is already over. Either she’s already got another lover, or her sex drive has gone to zero and she gets with you out of obligation. First time, I kid you not, she even threatens to withhold sex, has you sleep on the couch, whatever, go to a hotel and don’t take her call until the morning. Second time, rent an apartment. Third time file divorce because you’re done.
The ending really showed us something important.
He's a simp.
And because likes of him, this is considered normal.
redditor
Here’s a solution for the first:
“Isn’t it annoying how these things are classified? Who thinks they have the right to change how we view things? We could say earth isn’t a planet because we don’t live on the other planets so earth must be something different. In that logic we can agree that all celestial objects rotating the sun can both be planets and not planets at the same time. I love you my beautiful and intelligent wife, let’s go make love after we’re done setting things up so I can show you how grateful I am to have you as my wife for thing confusing adventure we call life.”
Funny, but beyond toxic- caustic. Ladies, if you always insist on being right, your vanity will land you in divorce court.
You just encouraged women to insist on being right.
Dont like the "wife" jokes, maybe cause I am not in the age, but the ending was very wholesome, very cute.
1:01 erm why does the looks peak at age 10?? Mega sus
'Cause you ain't look like a raisin 'till you get over 40
If your using Slang words like 'sus' you sound 10
Yeesh-boomer marriage jokes. “Isn’t my wife awful? Let me count the ways, and also once in a while she LETS me have sex with her! That’s all that’s on my mind, because we’re all stereotypes here!”
Meanwhile in actual marriages: 3rd rewatch of great British baking show as revenge procrastination for bedtime and sex is too much effort at the end of a long work day for either of us. Marriage is not supposed to be a fight-if it is, you’re doing it wrong. That’s like saying you need to have a best friend who sets your cat on fire. No! Get a different best friend!
This is a comedic show? He clearly loves his wife and this is just a funny stereotype thing. To me it didn’t even feel sexist or like “i hate my wife/my wife is awful” jokes
Millennials: can't drive the stick, can't laugh at jokes.
Also millenials: give advice and virtue signaling nobody asked for. It's COMEDY.
If you don't like it, watch something else and let us have fun in peace.
@@ilmaio You should know that the category of millennials are people aged late twenties to early forties with jobs and spouses and possibly even kids. Maybe you’re just sour that jokes about bad spouses just reveals bad relationship coping skills. “I gotta agree with my wife even if she’s wrong because she’ll give me hell if I don’t!” Maybe you’re in a bad relationship. That’s not funny, just sad.
@@TheLyricalCleric -- I prefer to call all of you "Gen-Slackers"... Now, get off my lawn, dammit!
@@chloekhamxoxJust because this video doesn't send you down an incel pipeline doesn't mean it didn't work on somebody to have that effect. Normalisation of these behaviours, _especially_ in the form of jokes, helps to facilitate and encourage awful behaviours and mindsets either to counter this invented narrative or to follow along with it.
I love the people in the comments using this skit as an opportunity to make fun of women completely missing the fact the skit is actually making fun of people like them
That's why we definitely need polygamy back: if she goes on your nerves, you just go to the second wife, until she calms down 😋
The desire to have multiple wives is mental illness... Come to think of it, even having a single wife is borderline mental illness...
There's no polygamy to go back to because polygamy was never more of a thing in the past than it is now. Even before the Romans this was the case. Polygamy is almost entirely an Islamic concept, concubines as they existed in the west and far East were completely different and only provided to the rich elite, the Jeff Besos of the ancient world.
@@jamesmccomb9525 you never read the bible obviously 🤣
@@sassuki A polygamous relationship is one in which you are committed to multiple people as legally recognised spouses, and such a thing has never existed within Western society outside of fringe heresies and sex cults. Again, this is true even of Jesus' time when Hellenism was still widely practiced: To merely have multiple concubines is an entirely different concept from secondary wives. Concubines are not afforded the same status as official wives, and are largely treated as just a means to connect a potential future heir to the family that offered the mother as a concubine, or to extend and expand the ruler's dynastic lineage.
At no point in time under Christianity was it ever legal or even acceptable to have sex out of wedlock. It still happened of course, but if the pope didn't like you it could be just cause for ex-communication.
I have not read the Bible nor do I ever intend to because it's a bunch of rubbish anyway. If you want insightful knowledge about religion and more specifically Christianity, I would recommend looking into the writings of the apostles as well as the foundational doctrines decided upon in the Levant. They act not only as more informing pieces about Jesus himself, but also about how to adhere to officially recognised practices and conduct.
Not only that, the historical writings can't be changed merely on a whim to suit modern political senses. They are forever unchanging.
@@jamesmccomb9525 hhhh how can you pretend to be christian without acknowledging the bible??! Btw, catholicism is not conform to the bible. And even if you don't believe in the bible, it can be seen as a historical book, and it has plenty of "legal" polygamy accounts (legal is a bad word here, as marriages are in front of God - State recognition is irrelevant)
Another thing that shows that catholicism has gone astray: interest is clearly forbidden in the bible, yet the catholic church allowed it. And yet many today think this is an islam thing. Because many don't read the bible.