It's very frightening to not know if you'll ever be okay again, if you'll ever truly live again. The constant feeling that your life is over and things will never get better is soul crushing.
@@ritaharmon not a total detox but been taking lower dose pain med by 50 % and Lowering dose on a benzo that I was prescribed for panic attacks when I was 19. I have a autoimmune disease that’s really wreaking havoc on my joints since November too
I have never heard a video that explains my experience so well,, loss of family,, maybe this IS me,,, will I get better? The slow path to acceptance, loss of faith in God and humanity.😳😳
You were fortunate. My family believes that my withdrawal is really a sign I need MORE medication and so would my doctors. I really fear they will try to admit me. They would say I am delusional. They won’t watch doctors who disagree with them on video. I am staying quiet and must behave myself 😮
@jeanf8998 sorry to hear this but you are not alone. There are groups for support everyone can join. Unless you've been through it people don't have a clue.
None of this would've happened to me if it wasn't for my narcissistic family. Having a support system is important. Some of us have to leave our family to heal sadly.
Hello @pikkuoo, how long did your recovery take? I’m on day 33 off and my symptoms are still severe after 3 months of clobazam 10 mg. I’m scared due to all the horrible stories I’ve heard 😔
Dear Josef and Cris I have been watching your videos for two years now. I have to say this one is the greatest talk about protracted withdrawal I’ve ever listened to. I give you both a standing ovation!! So very helpful. It was perfectly done I felt so much love and support coming from you both. Wholeheartedly I thank you! Two years into my journey, this has given me so much hope!! ❤️❤️❤️
I'm round the clock suicidal. Brain damaged so badly I didn't know my own child for 3.5yrs of this hell. Probably am permanent. Anyway super bad sick without going into more detail. Our elderly neighbor passed away 22days ago and I just found out yesterday. I asked his wife why she didn't call us we would have come and said goodbye, we would have gone to the service, etc. She said that after her knee surgery I didn't check on them enough so she didn't figure we wanted part of their lives. She knows every sordid detail of what happened to me and no one checks on me....but I'm the bad neighbor.
Boy can I relate to everything said. Dec will make 9 years since I stopped ct in detox. It was beyond horrific and no words for it . Thank God my remaining symptoms are manageable and a lot better than they used to be. I used to have over 175 symptoms but now have a handful of mainly brain cognitive issues left
You really find out who TRULY is there for you no matter what. Unfortunately, it’s usually about 5% of what you believe it to be. It’s a very lonely experience, you have to let go of so very much. The life you had is gone forever but you can build a better life if you’re disciplined and strong. People need to STOP thinking that doctors know what they’re talking about when they’ve not experienced it themselves. If someone really loves you, they BELIEVE you … it’s that simple.
They have had 60+ years to "get it!" No excuses or explanation is acceptable. THEY KNEW. BUT CASH WAS BETTER THAN WORRYING ABOUT DESTROYING PATIENTS' LIVES, FUTURES, OR WELL BEING!
As a caregiver for an iatrogenic victim and subjects of the award-winning documentary Death by Medicine, I am looking forward to our interview on June 8. I believe my wife is permanently brain damaged from her involuntary civil commitment. I want to believe there is hope. After almost 15 years off all medications, it appears she will never function normally again. Where does hope end and and reality begin? Look forward to our discussion.
@@annedodgson8677 An iatrogenic disease is a clinical condition that results from the direct (or indirect) actions of physicians, surgeons, or other caregivers
I'm 10 years off and know of other's who are your wife's time off and yes, it's hard to not lose hope but I don't want to be another statistic. However, I think it's important to keep things in perspective and to not put all health ailments in the withdrawal basket, because life still happens even when we're in protracted withdrawal.
I've been tapering from Xanax for almost 10 months. My CNS is so messed up. I'm still functioning somehow. Still working and taking care of the family. However i struggle 24/7. In pain constantly, breathing issues constantly, dizziness and cognitive issues. I pray that one day it will be over.
@@niekog83 I’m assuming you’ve seen a cardiologist, if not then obviously go get it checked out. You’re doing so well man, trust me when you get your first wave it’ll be beautiful. Taper for as long as you can, and stay safe.
I am a spouse and I have watched so many videos the past 5 days and you just hit home to me by saying a spouse is watching this and saying oh my gosh this what is happening. I am in tears, I was so close to leaving my husband and he is suffering and I had no idea! I hope and pray you can help us! 😢
I've heard Chris talk in different interviews and always hang on to every word he says. So insightful and articulate and thoughtful! Thanks for having him on this channel. Regarding akathisia, I feel its definition needs more development. Most definitions focus on the external movements like pacing. In reality, many people experiencing akathisia hell look fairly normal and don't pace a lot, but have horrific internal agitation. People assume they don't have akathisia since they're not pacing or showing significant external motor movements. Akathisia needs to be defined in a way that is more encompassing of both the external and internal experience.
So true about acceptance and finding a purpose to fight through it. The more I tried to fight it the worse it got. Also feeling like I had to use the experience to help others got me through it too . Helping admin a benzo group and encouraging others every day helped me distract and let me see some kind of good coming from the hell I was going through
I have been off my Xanax for 4 months. My Doctor never apologized for prescribing me 1-2 mg after my Wife died. Never attempted to get me off. After going off 7 medications my last was Xanax. Now no prescriptions and Doctor not happy for me. He is retiring soon so I don’t bring it up, being on Keto or Carnivore had a great deal with my success. I had no problems coming off in 2 1/2 months. Insomnia only side effect.
Yes the anxiety is frightening but also the rage swings and the intrusive harmful thoughts that it creates your anger isn't your anger this is something out of this world. Everything and anything can set me of and not trusting my own mind. Bouts of hallucinations, hearing a evil voice that isn't human and this evil thing puts very dangerous thoughts in your head, paranoia, delusional thinking, feeling disoriented, confused, agitation, irritable. 9 months and I am still in antidepressant withdrawal I am having some windows where things settle but they aren't away. I can't sense within me how delicate fragile my CNS is, the slight movement at times causes such violent thoughts. Unable to do exercise as it makes me so irritable and agitated. My mind is playing mind games, what a ride this is. I pray for all of us for healing and trying to have some for of life.
I can relate to it all. Same thing happend with long term SSRI. I had epileptic seizures from prozac then but I didn't realize at the time that it was the medicine. Then I continued with another SSRI. I can see afterwards what it did to me. It ended with adverse reaction and rapid taper. Hell WD.
This is so positive & but so terrible what Chris endured . The rage “ I have to put it aside & use it for sensible motivation. Yes I was so stupid- they were stupid - they are still stupid - ( like the Clowns who “ treated “ Chris ) & now cancelled patients & forcing cold turkey. But other motivation- meditation, talking, playing & practise music . Thanks to both of you . ❤
Chris Tory is a tremendous case report that was not written in a journal yet but it highlights Gods protection in the middle of utter derangement and his nearly unforeseable healing , tenacity and the value of friends and relationships in healing.
I lost 4 people that were pretty close to me while getting off of Clonazepam. Worst f*cking rollercoaster I've ever taken mentally and physically. 10months off and feeling a lot better. Healing is not linear so everything is changing but I'll make it, I have to. I hope you heal more and more every single day. Take care ❤
I know and congratulations. Hang in there. It gives others hope. I am just looking for a doctor, but I don't trust the medical complex but maybe for broken bones. Flesh peddling.
51:00 “ the first 2 years are difficult “. I couldn’t watch things like this because I couldn’t imagine it taking so long to heal. I was in full acute withdrawal in April 2022 and mountain biking season was coming up. I wrote in my journal “ I hope this doesn’t last all summer “. Well 31 months in, starting to come to acceptance. My sister was trying to force me to accept it early on. There was no way!! I had to go on disability, stop mountain biking, snowboarding, skiing, volunteering with disabled skiers,, etc. A whole shock to my system and I couldn’t accept it. My sister walked away from me. SHE couldn’t handle it..😳😳And I didn’t let her know a fraction of what I was going through.
People who are struggling with their own behavior and that take a PRN benzo script once a month or less tend to have a hard time realizing their problems could come from a protracted withdrawal brain injury and from interdose withdrawal.
Yes, Getting from pain to gratitude is the journey. You have so much of your journey like mine. Mine went on much longer and had different sidetracks. Congrats on helping.
Dude, I am in court and I’m having to see a forensic psychologist that does not believe in any of this!! I really wish you would testify and say there is such a thing as benzodiazepine induced and neurological dysfunction and withdrawal!
There's the fent epidemic but meanwhile there's a silent benzo epidemic. It is sad because they can really provide relief but it's such a double edged sword
After four decades of psychiatric meds-every antidepressant except MAOIs or benzodiazepines-I stopped al 4.5 months ago. Hell. Rage. Brain on fire. Screeching tinnitus. I’m just in bed now. Great bloodwork though. “Nothing” is wrong with me. Maybe 350 cholesterol levels. I took shower and washed my hair. Gotten dressed. EVEN put my shoes on. Little bacon eggs and yet felt so weak, just limped back to bed. Waiting for the rapture. Because I obviously cannot figure this out. Disabled vet with HUD-thank God, 64, 120, I’ve cried all my life, but my tears are dried up. Spent $1,500 over past three months in every possible supplement. Already no sugar no flour. I’m not sick as you. But I’m unable to live. It wasn’t supposed to end this way. I relinquished my son at 21 because I didn’t want to “put my grief/depression” on another person. Now I can add giving him a “1” at birth, when I believed I saving him. But, only briefly on Benz is. And ambien. Left the house one night because Daddy and oldest son were yelling at each other. Never heard of cutting, yet I was determined to drive to Walmart for an exact knife, just to cut, just a little. Apparently I ran a red light in the ambien hypnotic state. Three cop cars folllowed me on my “slow speed chase” to the store. Spike strips and a net over my minivan-🤦♀️-later, I was face down, hands behind my back arrested, on the way to ER for blood withdrawal, and urinalysis. Cop asked me, if I wanted to die, why didn’t I drive into a bridge? Asked if I wanted to go to jail-for evading-nothing else in my symptom except clonapen and ambien-or Sage View. “What’s that?” I chose psychiatric hospital. Just prior, Daddy had taken sons from three years of Christian school, where I worked part time to pay for one tuition, to three years of community homeschooling, to public school. In a Sunday nite he told me there was nothing I could do about it. And just before that, the explosive resurfacing memory of military MST. From the hospital, I was preyed upon-way too strong a description-by a fellow psych patient, who I slept with. Yes before I promised our sons they’d never be children of divorce. 🤦♀️ But fellow broken person was WAY more broken than I was. I told Dad right away. He got out all our camping gear and put it in the caravan. and I never slept in the home we built, or where my sons-who were my life-lived, then 15 and 18, again. It was summer, so yay for that. Every time my future spouse sensed I wanted to get out or away, some tragedy popped up in his world, and I figured out too late, he’d created them all. I married him. Still married, tho separated since 2014. But we stayed friends, and he’s my closest friend. His story is so much more tragic than mine. Oldest of 11 children of Jehovah’s Witness Elder. All 11 rape-d and worse. Despite lying to impress everyone, he’s the kindest, hardest working and funniest person I’ve ever known. My sons are grown-awesome people. Love their Mom. I don’t understand why I cat get well. TY for this interview. I also have immense gratitude, for everything you mentioned, except the audience. And verbalize it daily. Often.
30:20 Yes. Similar to the book MANS SEARCH FOR MEANING. During the holocaust young, strong men died. The older, weaker men survived. WHY? They had families and something to live for. That is what the book is about. We all need meaning, hope- something to look forward to.
Dr.Josef Are you planning to practice in Ohio any time soon. I will use your video's to share with doctors. If they aren't open to you, I will not waste one minute more with them!!!
My mother purposely put me in protracted withdrawals. I know because she's interfered with my medical care/ medications several times. She has Munchsien By Proxy ( & Covert Malignant Narcissism). Still, I actually feel sorry for her. I can recover.
I've never been able to accept "living well is the best revenge". It's true, the best way to destroy is by building. But still, something isn't quite right. I think it's an age thing. Losing your late teens and 20's is something you just can't actually become apart from or "get over", the deficit is essentially permanent. Omnipresent and inescapable, it never goes away. And probably by the time you do see otherwise, it's still too late anyway. The human concept is maliciously designed, it's made for this.
30 years of debilutating injuries. I am not okay with what doctors did to me when I had terrible circumstances. Old age made old symptoms worse, especially neurosensitivity
Chris is such a inspiring and empowering coach. Unlike a particular female one , M B, who said ppl who cant recover, have underlying issues. This is so divisive, dicriminatory and gaslighting.
Many of the people hurt for decades have underlying autoimmune encephalopathy or other issues. That part is true. I believe that I was a PANS/PANDAS case and that pushed me towards medications and eventual medication injury. Even chronic dry mouth after coming off medications is a sign of autoimmune damage/issues. Find J.A. Carter Winward’s posts in Mad In America to understand what Michelle is saying.
My family treated me horribly, especially my Mom, but it was so alienating. I was so alone! They also told me to "have some dignity and go to work." " Do you want to lay around and be disabled?" "Go into a hospital, and they'll do everything for you - you're never getting any better." On and on. I still stay far from them and even from my mom while she was dying. I couldn't get home for so many reasons, but her rejection and hostility towards me when I needed her and my family most. I've lost everything, and I'm nowhere near "better"! 😢 I'm very alone. At least I am on disability.
It will be okay this will get better, mine was Soso bad for a year and I just left a 4 month window into a wave but it gets better so please hold on, it's just time. I know how miserable it is, I'm sorry you have to experience this, just try not to panic and make any major changes to your meds, okay?
I would love to talk to you about my rapid seroxat withdrawal and reinstatement in 2008. I still have to manage symptoms from it. I know youre busy and have heard it a thousand times. I use a scooter and electric bike. My stamina and health are ruined. These videos are incredibly validating and helpful. Ive spoken to Peter Gordon. Also damaged by Seroxat. Meditation helps twice a day but i have not healed. Grieving but coping.
When I first started realizing I was being involuntarily medicated I started sound recording sessions with the social worker. I tucked a sound recorder in my sock before going into the session. When I listened back to the recording there was a few minutes of silence in the middle. From my own conscious perception of time during the session, there did not seem to be any breaks or silent periods, but rather fluid conversation throughout. How come there was a total of 5 minutes of silence with nothing being said? In the middle of that silence the social worker said, "are there any benzos in that", and he wasn't talking to me. I didn't even know what benzos were at that time and it was completely out of context with our conversation. It was a closed room and only myself and the social worker were in the room, at least as far as I was consciously aware. How can I heal if they keep medicating me. They create my suffering and the symptoms and so they keep medicating me because, ofc, it can't be the medication can it, no, it is just a manifestation of a mental illness.
Well maybe one of you could explain the severe nerve pain I have ? Years of this many neurologists many specialists all coming off from meds . I don't think everyone fully recovers.
I was on klonopin 10 years and taken off in 2weeks. It’s now been almost 20years of suffering both on and off meds. I once had a deep faith but I am crushed because I know for sure that I have brain damage in that I can’t feel, joy, or peace. I’ve lost interest in everything I once loved. Just trying to survive the day. Where can I find hope?
I need to interview with you. I need to share my story because I’m only 25 and everything started for me at 17. I am someone whose brain never developed all the way before going thru this!
This is absolutely insane. I thought I had a doctor in Washington State who would help me taper off both diazepam and Ms contin: I am really at a loss about trying to get my mental health up and going. I'm at my last straw...I don't even know where to turn anymore
You may get better, but get floxed like I did, ending up way worse off than ever before. I will die out here before I'll ever go to a Dr or hospital again because living like this is worse than dying!
I did not know about the word benzo or the intricate withdrawal symptoms to watch out for in the benzo world. All I knew is that they were sleeping meds and psych meds. The first year off went well for my girlfriend until that one year mark when a wave hit us hard. I had no clue that this was due to the meds because one year was pretty much a success story for us off these meds. My idiotic decisions of calling her mom landed her in the ward and everything went downhill from there and now she is on a CTO in a group home where they dont even allow personal cell phones. And now she is on some mandatory injections. If I would have known to keep my mouth shut then she would have being better off. I wish i knew more about this wonderful community. I didn't know this monster existed. May god help us all.
What Really bothers Me is when people say ..."my symptoms" when referring to the fact that, such as in my case, you feel like you are dying, and probably could in fact, die, because you sre so seriously ill. So, I would say, "when I feel I may collapse and die with no one knowing, since am alone"...To express how Serious this brain damage is...
Fear state, irritability, anger, catastrophizinf after cold turkey stopping Lexapro three years after. Getting crazy panic over things outside of my control. And I can’t tell if it’s withdrawal, me or appropriate reaction. You go into fight attack mode and think being mean and nasty to people is worth it. Then your relationships are ruined.
It's very frightening to not know if you'll ever be okay again, if you'll ever truly live again. The constant feeling that your life is over and things will never get better is soul crushing.
I’m going through that now, I just took a shower and I’m so swollen and in so much pain.
@@Faye-jewelwhat are you detoxing from?
@@ritaharmon not a total detox but been taking lower dose pain med by 50 % and Lowering dose on a benzo that I was prescribed for panic attacks when I was 19.
I have a autoimmune disease that’s really wreaking havoc on my joints since November too
@@Faye-jewel Why? I care.
@@Faye-jewel Oh. Have you tried KETO? It's like an elimination diet. Works well for many.
Thank God my grown son believed me. His love saved my life. I absolutely would not have made it without him.
1 hour into this and I'm feeling so heard for the 1st time. Brings me to tears.
I have never heard a video that explains my experience so well,, loss of family,, maybe this IS me,,, will I get better? The slow path to acceptance, loss of faith in God and humanity.😳😳
A key to my survival was, that I kept away from forums and I kept away from doctors. My family believed me and that was enough
You were fortunate. My family believes that my withdrawal is really a sign I need MORE medication and so would my doctors. I really fear they will try to admit me. They would say I am delusional. They won’t watch doctors who disagree with them on video. I am staying quiet and must behave myself 😮
@jeanf8998 sorry to hear this but you are not alone. There are groups for support everyone can join. Unless you've been through it people don't have a clue.
None of this would've happened to me if it wasn't for my narcissistic family. Having a support system is important. Some of us have to leave our family to heal sadly.
@@jeanf8998 fake it till you make it. Very sorry for you. Keep quiet en talk to us here. Hold on❤️
Hello @pikkuoo, how long did your recovery take? I’m on day 33 off and my symptoms are still severe after 3 months of clobazam 10 mg. I’m scared due to all the horrible stories I’ve heard 😔
“Medical science is making such remarkable progress that soon none of us will be well.” - Aldous Huxley
Chris, you put it very well "we have to grieve our lives". Perfect.
Amen. No support group for loosing 'YOU'.
Dear Josef and Cris I have been watching your videos for two years now. I have to say this one is the greatest talk about protracted withdrawal I’ve ever listened to. I give you both a standing ovation!! So very helpful. It was perfectly done I felt so much love and support coming from you both. Wholeheartedly I thank you! Two years into my journey, this has given me so much hope!! ❤️❤️❤️
Yes. Cause they have known of this HORROR FOR MORE THAN 60 YEARS!
Imagine a severe burn survivor or a cancer survivor having to tell people they were sorry for being sick... COMPLETE BULLSHIT.
I'm round the clock suicidal. Brain damaged so badly I didn't know my own child for 3.5yrs of this hell. Probably am permanent. Anyway super bad sick without going into more detail. Our elderly neighbor passed away 22days ago and I just found out yesterday. I asked his wife why she didn't call us we would have come and said goodbye, we would have gone to the service, etc. She said that after her knee surgery I didn't check on them enough so she didn't figure we wanted part of their lives. She knows every sordid detail of what happened to me and no one checks on me....but I'm the bad neighbor.
Boy can I relate to everything said. Dec will make 9 years since I stopped ct in detox. It was beyond horrific and no words for it . Thank God my remaining symptoms are manageable and a lot better than they used to be. I used to have over 175 symptoms but now have a handful of mainly brain cognitive issues left
"An adaptive fear of medical treatments, and adaptive fear of doctors, and adaptive fear of medicines, and actively refuse things.." yup.
You really find out who TRULY is there for you no matter what. Unfortunately, it’s usually about 5% of what you believe it to be. It’s a very lonely experience, you have to let go of so very much. The life you had is gone forever but you can build a better life if you’re disciplined and strong. People need to STOP thinking that doctors know what they’re talking about when they’ve not experienced it themselves. If someone really loves you, they BELIEVE you … it’s that simple.
They have had 60+ years to "get it!" No excuses or explanation is acceptable. THEY KNEW. BUT CASH WAS BETTER THAN WORRYING ABOUT DESTROYING PATIENTS' LIVES, FUTURES, OR WELL BEING!
"....AND WELL BEING "
I thought that today, many left, I still can't believe it, no compassion no heart no love l😢
As a caregiver for an iatrogenic victim and subjects of the award-winning documentary Death by Medicine, I am looking forward to our interview on June 8. I believe my wife is permanently brain damaged from her involuntary civil commitment. I want to believe there is hope. After almost 15 years off all medications, it appears she will never function normally again. Where does hope end and and reality begin? Look forward to our discussion.
We all know iatrogenic … right … insert a definition
Non doctors shouldn't use 'iatrogenic'. Doctors use it like idiopathic, to obfuscate they are to blame and don't know sht
Use Google 🙄@@annedodgson8677
@@annedodgson8677 An iatrogenic disease is a clinical condition that results from the direct (or indirect) actions of physicians, surgeons, or other caregivers
I'm 10 years off and know of other's who are your wife's time off and yes, it's hard to not lose hope but I don't want to be another statistic. However, I think it's important to keep things in perspective and to not put all health ailments in the withdrawal basket, because life still happens even when we're in protracted withdrawal.
I've been tapering from Xanax for almost 10 months. My CNS is so messed up. I'm still functioning somehow. Still working and taking care of the family. However i struggle 24/7. In pain constantly, breathing issues constantly, dizziness and cognitive issues. I pray that one day it will be over.
It will be my friend.
@@mfdoom9437 i hope so. the hardest to overcome is the breathing and weird feelings and pain in my chest.
gets better. Permanent damage, yeah, I think it's a thing... BenzoBuddies online forum kept me going.
@@niekog83 I’m assuming you’ve seen a cardiologist, if not then obviously go get it checked out. You’re doing so well man, trust me when you get your first wave it’ll be beautiful. Taper for as long as you can, and stay safe.
@@niekog83 What do you mean by breathing issues? Like feeling you are drowning underwater and can't get air and suffocating? Or something else?
I am a spouse and I have watched so many videos the past 5 days and you just hit home to me by saying a spouse is watching this and saying oh my gosh this what is happening. I am in tears, I was so close to leaving my husband and he is suffering and I had no idea! I hope and pray you can help us! 😢
That’s a absolute travesty to go through an ordeal like that over that time,Your a true survivor buddy.
There 100,000s of us with EXACT SAME STORY!!!! Then there’s 100,000s who DIDNT MAKE IT!!!! They committed SUICIDE ??? 💀💀💀💀
I've heard Chris talk in different interviews and always hang on to every word he says. So insightful and articulate and thoughtful! Thanks for having him on this channel. Regarding akathisia, I feel its definition needs more development. Most definitions focus on the external movements like pacing. In reality, many people experiencing akathisia hell look fairly normal and don't pace a lot, but have horrific internal agitation. People assume they don't have akathisia since they're not pacing or showing significant external motor movements. Akathisia needs to be defined in a way that is more encompassing of both the external and internal experience.
Thank you so much for this interview...for a brief moment i didnt feel alone in this anymore while i've watched it
Same
So true about acceptance and finding a purpose to fight through it. The more I tried to fight it the worse it got. Also feeling like I had to use the experience to help others got me through it too . Helping admin a benzo group and encouraging others every day helped me distract and let me see some kind of good coming from the hell I was going through
Hey Chris. Same story here. Glad to hear you are much better. Im struggling daily but also on the mend. Hope to be where you are soon.
You look fine. What is your main issue- if you care to share. I care.
I have been off my Xanax for 4 months. My Doctor never apologized for prescribing me 1-2 mg after my Wife died. Never attempted to get me off. After going off 7 medications my last was Xanax. Now no prescriptions and Doctor not happy for me. He is retiring soon so I don’t bring it up, being on Keto or Carnivore had a great deal with my success. I had no problems coming off in 2 1/2 months. Insomnia only side effect.
Sorry for yet another comment but nothing has resonated like Chris’s story to me . I can’t thank you enough.
This has best video from this channel! l have been in withdrawal for just 31/2 years , and this video has given me hope
has it improvd for u
Yes the anxiety is frightening but also the rage swings and the intrusive harmful thoughts that it creates your anger isn't your anger this is something out of this world. Everything and anything can set me of and not trusting my own mind. Bouts of hallucinations, hearing a evil voice that isn't human and this evil thing puts very dangerous thoughts in your head, paranoia, delusional thinking, feeling disoriented, confused, agitation, irritable. 9 months and I am still in antidepressant withdrawal I am having some windows where things settle but they aren't away. I can't sense within me how delicate fragile my CNS is, the slight movement at times causes such violent thoughts. Unable to do exercise as it makes me so irritable and agitated. My mind is playing mind games, what a ride this is. I pray for all of us for healing and trying to have some for of life.
These interviews are so beneficial. Thank you for helping everyone.
You guys made me cry. Thank you ❤ “maintain the hope”
I can relate to it all. Same thing happend with long term SSRI. I had epileptic seizures from prozac then but I didn't realize at the time that it was the medicine. Then I continued with another SSRI. I can see afterwards what it did to me. It ended with adverse reaction and rapid taper. Hell WD.
I'm glad to see Chris doing well
This is so positive & but so terrible what Chris endured . The rage “ I have to put it aside & use it for sensible motivation. Yes I was so stupid- they were stupid - they are still stupid - ( like the Clowns who “ treated “ Chris ) & now cancelled patients & forcing cold turkey. But other motivation- meditation, talking, playing & practise music . Thanks to both of you . ❤
Chris Tory is a tremendous case report that was not written in a journal yet but it highlights Gods protection in the middle of utter derangement and his nearly unforeseable healing , tenacity and the value of friends and relationships in healing.
For me it’s my SSRI. Everything you guys are describing health wise and an ungodly long taper.
This was fire 🔥! Thank you to you both saving lives🦋💎
Yep best interview I've seen.
Hardest freaking thing that i have ever hands down had to do 6 1/2 months off everything. Straight torture 24/7.
But you made it. You are strong.
I lost 4 people that were pretty close to me while getting off of Clonazepam. Worst f*cking rollercoaster I've ever taken mentally and physically. 10months off and feeling a lot better. Healing is not linear so everything is changing but I'll make it, I have to. I hope you heal more and more every single day. Take care ❤
Yes it IS torture , BUT it truly does get better. My recovery has been a process. It changes , it's not linear. It does get better.
😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
I know and congratulations. Hang in there. It gives others hope. I am just looking for a doctor, but I don't trust the medical complex but maybe for broken bones. Flesh peddling.
Chris is a truly inspiring man
51:00 “ the first 2 years are difficult “. I couldn’t watch things like this because I couldn’t imagine it taking so long to heal. I was in full acute withdrawal in April 2022 and mountain biking season was coming up. I wrote in my journal “ I hope this doesn’t last all summer “. Well 31 months in, starting to come to acceptance. My sister was trying to force me to accept it early on. There was no way!! I had to go on disability, stop mountain biking, snowboarding, skiing, volunteering with disabled skiers,, etc. A whole shock to my system and I couldn’t accept it. My sister walked away from me. SHE couldn’t handle it..😳😳And I didn’t let her know a fraction of what I was going through.
People who are struggling with their own behavior and that take a PRN benzo script once a month or less tend to have a hard time realizing their problems could come from a protracted withdrawal brain injury and from interdose withdrawal.
Yes, Getting from pain to gratitude is the journey. You have so much of your journey like mine. Mine went on much longer and had different sidetracks. Congrats on helping.
That's my problem. The underlying problems. A lot of stress from unhealthy situations & relationships.
This is an incredible story here and thank you both for such an IMPORTANT interview
Dude, I am in court and I’m having to see a forensic psychologist that does not believe in any of this!! I really wish you would testify and say there is such a thing as benzodiazepine induced and neurological dysfunction and withdrawal!
There's the fent epidemic but meanwhile there's a silent benzo epidemic. It is sad because they can really provide relief but it's such a double edged sword
And SSRIs, finasteride and acutane epidemics too.
Best wishes.
After four decades of psychiatric meds-every antidepressant except MAOIs or benzodiazepines-I stopped al 4.5 months ago. Hell. Rage. Brain on fire. Screeching tinnitus. I’m just in bed now. Great bloodwork though. “Nothing” is wrong with me.
Maybe 350 cholesterol levels.
I took shower and washed my hair. Gotten dressed. EVEN put my shoes on. Little bacon eggs and yet felt so weak, just limped back to bed.
Waiting for the rapture.
Because I obviously cannot figure this out. Disabled vet with HUD-thank God, 64, 120, I’ve cried all my life, but my tears are dried up. Spent $1,500 over past three months in every possible supplement. Already no sugar no flour. I’m not sick as you.
But I’m unable to live.
It wasn’t supposed to end this way. I relinquished my son at 21 because I didn’t want to “put my grief/depression” on another person. Now I can add giving him a “1” at birth, when I believed I saving him.
But, only briefly on Benz is. And ambien. Left the house one night because Daddy and oldest son were yelling at each other. Never heard of cutting, yet I was determined to drive to Walmart for an exact knife, just to cut, just a little. Apparently I ran a red light in the ambien hypnotic state. Three cop cars folllowed me on my “slow speed chase” to the store.
Spike strips and a net over my minivan-🤦♀️-later, I was face down, hands behind my back arrested, on the way to ER for blood withdrawal, and urinalysis. Cop asked me, if I wanted to die, why didn’t I drive into a bridge?
Asked if I wanted to go to jail-for evading-nothing else in my symptom except clonapen and ambien-or Sage View. “What’s that?” I chose psychiatric hospital. Just prior, Daddy had taken sons from three years of Christian school, where I worked part time to pay for one tuition, to three years of community homeschooling, to public school. In a Sunday nite he told me there was nothing I could do about it. And just before that, the explosive resurfacing memory of military MST. From the hospital, I was preyed upon-way too strong a description-by a fellow psych patient, who I slept with. Yes before I promised our sons they’d never be children of divorce. 🤦♀️ But fellow broken person was WAY more broken than I was. I told Dad right away. He got out all our camping gear and put it in the caravan. and I never slept in the home we built, or where my sons-who were my life-lived, then 15 and 18, again.
It was summer, so yay for that.
Every time my future spouse sensed I wanted to get out or away, some tragedy popped up in his world, and I figured out too late, he’d created them all. I married him. Still married, tho separated since 2014. But we stayed friends, and he’s my closest friend. His story is so much more tragic than mine. Oldest of 11 children of Jehovah’s Witness Elder. All 11 rape-d and worse. Despite lying to impress everyone, he’s the kindest, hardest working and funniest person I’ve ever known.
My sons are grown-awesome people. Love their Mom.
I don’t understand why I cat get well. TY for this interview.
I also have immense gratitude, for everything you mentioned, except the audience. And verbalize it daily. Often.
Thank you both for this information and support ❤!
30:20 Yes. Similar to the book MANS SEARCH FOR MEANING. During the holocaust young, strong men died. The older, weaker men survived. WHY? They had families and something to live for. That is what the book is about. We all need meaning, hope- something to look forward to.
I am so grateful for this channel ❤
Chris is highly intelligent and this is a great interview.
I turned to alcohol to try and cope with what prescribed medication did to me. I've been in and out of detox. I'm now an alcoholic.
Try ibogaine to heal. It’s incredibly helpful for any addiction
@@vanessah4964I heard good things about Ibogaine but isn't it a cure for opiate withdrawals? I never heard of it treating benzo dependency too.
Same. Have a movement disorder from psychotropic drugs.
Alcohol seems to ne what most people do.
Dr.Josef
Are you planning to practice in Ohio any time soon. I will use your video's to share with doctors. If they aren't open to you, I will not waste one minute more with them!!!
Thankyou so much for this . Such a great talk and one of the best episodes so far
My mother purposely put me in protracted withdrawals. I know because she's interfered with my medical care/ medications several times. She has Munchsien By Proxy ( & Covert Malignant Narcissism). Still, I actually feel sorry for her. I can recover.
Münchhausen-by-proxysyndroom?? Go to the police..
@lonnievisch6009 The police have been here many times. At best, I go into a corrupt local hospital.
@@newjerseydevil6115 😪🥲😪🥲😪🙏❤️
I've never been able to accept "living well is the best revenge". It's true, the best way to destroy is by building. But still, something isn't quite right. I think it's an age thing. Losing your late teens and 20's is something you just can't actually become apart from or "get over", the deficit is essentially permanent. Omnipresent and inescapable, it never goes away. And probably by the time you do see otherwise, it's still too late anyway. The human concept is maliciously designed, it's made for this.
Please do an informative video on how to file a report on doctors and therapists who have acted unethically.
It will go nowhere. You file with the same who swear to protect them. They are all on the payroll.
DEA.. CT PERMANENTLY disfigured Me X2.
So true about sleep deprivation.
That happened to me. Turned my life upside down.
Excellent interview! Thank you so very much.
Thank you All so much 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
30 years of debilutating injuries. I am not okay with what doctors did to me when I had terrible circumstances. Old age made old symptoms worse, especially neurosensitivity
One of your best videos.❤
I agree
Chris is such a inspiring and empowering coach. Unlike a particular female one , M B, who said ppl who cant recover, have underlying issues. This is so divisive, dicriminatory and gaslighting.
The MB who just posted her farewell to coaching for a while? I never heard her say that.
Who is MB?
This is untrue
Many of the people hurt for decades have underlying autoimmune encephalopathy or other issues. That part is true. I believe that I was a PANS/PANDAS case and that pushed me towards medications and eventual medication injury. Even chronic dry mouth after coming off medications is a sign of autoimmune damage/issues. Find J.A. Carter Winward’s posts in Mad In America to understand what Michelle is saying.
@@kevk741 nope spinal tap is all clear
Amazing video 👍 currently in acute
My family treated me horribly, especially my Mom, but it was so alienating. I was so alone!
They also told me to "have some dignity and go to work."
" Do you want to lay around and be disabled?"
"Go into a hospital, and they'll do everything for you - you're never getting any better."
On and on. I still stay far from them and even from my mom while she was dying. I couldn't get home for so many reasons, but her rejection and hostility towards me when I needed her and my family most.
I've lost everything, and I'm nowhere near "better"! 😢
I'm very alone. At least I am on disability.
I am sorry you went through that ❤
Great interview, thanks guys.
I actually had a few calls with Chris , he is much better in this platform . Interesting
In what way?
@@BirdieHaze2207 MORE TALKATIVE
Very very helpful. We will heal!❤ ( woman Europe 46 month out after AD slowly healing lots of windows and waves) thank you both🫶
at which point..do u see an improvement
I have akasthesia. Its hell. I'm so sore from walking and panic as well... Help me someone who understands.
It will be okay this will get better, mine was Soso bad for a year and I just left a 4 month window into a wave but it gets better so please hold on, it's just time.
I know how miserable it is, I'm sorry you have to experience this, just try not to panic and make any major changes to your meds, okay?
I would love to talk to you about my rapid seroxat withdrawal and reinstatement in 2008. I still have to manage symptoms from it. I know youre busy and have heard it a thousand times. I use a scooter and electric bike. My stamina and health are ruined. These videos are incredibly validating and helpful. Ive spoken to Peter Gordon. Also damaged by Seroxat. Meditation helps twice a day but i have not healed. Grieving but coping.
When I first started realizing I was being involuntarily medicated I started sound recording sessions with the social worker. I tucked a sound recorder in my sock before going into the session. When I listened back to the recording there was a few minutes of silence in the middle. From my own conscious perception of time during the session, there did not seem to be any breaks or silent periods, but rather fluid conversation throughout. How come there was a total of 5 minutes of silence with nothing being said? In the middle of that silence the social worker said, "are there any benzos in that", and he wasn't talking to me. I didn't even know what benzos were at that time and it was completely out of context with our conversation. It was a closed room and only myself and the social worker were in the room, at least as far as I was consciously aware. How can I heal if they keep medicating me. They create my suffering and the symptoms and so they keep medicating me because, ofc, it can't be the medication can it, no, it is just a manifestation of a mental illness.
I feel exactly how you're telling people you feel
Well maybe one of you could explain the severe nerve pain I have ? Years of this many neurologists many specialists all coming off from meds . I don't think everyone fully recovers.
I was on klonopin 10 years and taken off in 2weeks. It’s now been almost 20years of suffering both on and off meds. I once had a deep faith but I am crushed because I know for sure that I have brain damage in that I can’t feel, joy, or peace. I’ve lost interest in everything I once loved. Just trying to survive the day. Where can I find hope?
Sending you peace 🙏
Nailed it Chris!!!!!!!!
I just realized that Coffee Makes It Worse. None of these videos ever mentioned that, truly.
True.
It does.
This is so good. Thank you.
God work Chris 💜
The absolute chronic fear of tapering this poison might actually be worse than any actual symptoms that it causes.
Bingo.
Oddly, I got lucky. It was easier for me the 2nd time. I think it's because I knew what to expect. Plus, I started weaning myself after the 1st time.
Spot on. Thank you!
I'm facing charges against these doctors that tortured me.
AMAZING INFORMATION! 🙏🏻
I'm glad to see Chris doing well, unfortunately he didn't believe me either. No hard feelings though. I know this damage runs deep.
What happened?
great work bro..
I need to interview with you. I need to share my story because I’m only 25 and everything started for me at 17. I am someone whose brain never developed all the way before going thru this!
Kindling has also been observed with magnetic field or ELF exposure. See eg the work of Suzanne Bawin and WR Adey.
I'd love to speak with Chris Paige. I think he used to live in NJ too.
Worst ordeal to witness in a teen autistic son that already is dismissed. And seriously sensitive.
Excellent. Have hope❤
DOCTOR, I hope you’re using hyperbaric for your daughter’s TBI. I pray she heals completely and quickly
Thank you.
Hi Chris. Which meds are you still on as I recall you still use some. Great interview.
Remeron( antidepressant also known as Mirtazapine)and Seroquel. Anti psychotic
Yes, the other meds not mentioned this time.
This is absolutely insane. I thought I had a doctor in Washington State who would help me taper off both diazepam and Ms contin: I am really at a loss about trying to get my mental health up and going. I'm at my last straw...I don't even know where to turn anymore
I felt this way with the way the doctors treated me. They didn’t treat me 😮
Yes, Collapse is a good word, or BRAIN DAMAGE.
You may get better, but get floxed like I did, ending up way worse off than ever before.
I will die out here before I'll ever go to a Dr or hospital again because living like this is worse than dying!
I did not know about the word benzo or the intricate withdrawal symptoms to watch out for in the benzo world. All I knew is that they were sleeping meds and psych meds. The first year off went well for my girlfriend until that one year mark when a wave hit us hard. I had no clue that this was due to the meds because one year was pretty much a success story for us off these meds. My idiotic decisions of calling her mom landed her in the ward and everything went downhill from there and now she is on a CTO in a group home where they dont even allow personal cell phones. And now she is on some mandatory injections. If I would have known to keep my mouth shut then she would have being better off. I wish i knew more about this wonderful community. I didn't know this monster existed. May god help us all.
You have MORE credibility having suffered- not less. You have to believe that though.
Can u ask him what to take for gi issue ab when ur stomach stops
What Really bothers Me is when people say ..."my symptoms" when referring to the fact that, such as in my case, you feel like you are dying, and probably could in fact, die, because you sre so seriously ill. So, I would say, "when I feel I may collapse and die with no one knowing, since am alone"...To express how Serious this brain damage is...
Fear state, irritability, anger, catastrophizinf after cold turkey stopping Lexapro three years after. Getting crazy panic over things outside of my control. And I can’t tell if it’s withdrawal, me or appropriate reaction. You go into fight attack mode and think being mean and nasty to people is worth it. Then your relationships are ruined.
Please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
🙏
What would happen if i took all the different antidepressants at once
My family doesn't belive I need help im goinf to die please help me
Could you show them this video? You’re not going to die, it just feels like hell. Hang in there, you will get better. Sending hugs 🤗
I just don't see the whole healing thing. Every time I do feel hopeful
I have a major setback.