@@cailiebetz8490 it won't always work... but I think its worth the effort. Worst case it doesn't work, but you know that you were your kind and awesome self. And of course when it doesn't work you don't have to keep it up, just be professional and polite.)
@@cailiebetz8490 not matter what, focus on building a supportive community. There are so many wonderful people out there who will lift you up the way you lift them up. I hope you find some of it here :D
Small percentage? Please. I have seen them in every job I had. They are just jealous and mean. They can't stand to see another woman who is smart or successful or beautiful, It eats them up. Also, the nicer you are, the more they will hate you because they can't find an excuse to make you look bad, so they hate you even more. If you are mediocre in anyway, they will like you because they feel good next to you, but if you stand out, get ready for some haters.
Some people don't grow up and stay a kid 👿 it's really annoying how these people can tell you what to do and how to live or feel. But can't make a little change to their mental age.😮💨
I agree with you! They don’t care about you or your pain & whether they are the cause of it! In their minds, you being ‘nice to them’ doesn’t help change who they are - they only consider that you’re dumb and you are weak. And they’ll test the theory by doing something to see if you fail to confirm you’re gullible and weak. Oh, they do it on purpose & at any cost. They don’t feel good but why should we care, they believe that’s what they need to do to stay ahead. They don’t do it for the company, they do it to stay on top. A couple of expensive handbags and shoes and their ‘bad feelings’ are gone & she’s back at it again. Mean girls go through employees like toilet paper, in order to conceal the bad things they get away with. Not even the bosses realize or detect it!!! Anyone who sees the pattern is in danger of getting cancelled at work; the gossip, the slander begins to destroy your reputation so you get eliminated or demoted. Definitely no sympathy for these ‘mean girls’! The only way to keep them under control is strict reviews and keeping the bar real high, so that they focus their energies on the work itself and not on displacing responsibility to other coworkers. Only by ‘cracking the whip on them’ and micromanaging them can you limit their aggression to other coworkers. Throwing them constant deadlines keeps them ‘busy’ and making sure they’re doing honest work so as not to drag in another victim at her expense. Eventually the mean girl will leave because it’s too much work and wants to get paid more. Then she leaves and starts the cycle all over again. They prefer to leave - that’s the only way they can survive without eating themselves alive. When a ‘mean girl’ situation is detected, a B type female must immediately seek a horizontal transition into another dept. to avoid the wrath and consequences of this type of personality. You’ll detect a problem with this type of female if there is high turnover of the position. Red flags 🚩 should go up immediately of any female using the opportunity to criticize another female coworker. A manipulation to make you feel like you’re gaining her approval and acceptance into her circle. It’s a rouse, a ploy, a tactic. By putting down another, it gives them such a feeling of elation. Do it once, and they’ll keep coming back to you for more and you’ll just end up with dead weight gossip and unwarranted drama.
@@ddupree9484 Exactly!! and unfortunately it’s rampant in nursing or many healthcare settings which typically are female dominated work environments so much so I’m so ready to get out. It’s absolutely emotionally and mentally draining 😩
Too much empathy and being too nice sets us up to be taken advantage of and be targeted by Narcissists. Let’s stop making excuses for their bad behavior take care of yourself you got this
I don’t know what it is with woman. There’s always this meanness and jealousy that takes place and it has nothing to do with high school because there’s woman pushing 40 and 50 still being mean girls. It’s sad and stupid
It's not all women, it's the small percentage of patriarchal women you're speaking about. And I don't think they intend to do harm in any way, but they've been raised with a subconscious belief in their own inferiority (which is not true, obvs), and that opportunities are scarce (when in fact they are abundant). It's a big problem with many things we need to do to fix.
@@JenniferBrick i dont know if i can agree with that...it seems some of these people are lazy and like to pick on the hard workers, or put others down to build themselves up. I have noticed a lot that the bully's/bossy are the ones who dont work that hard themselves, but when anyone else messes up they put them down..
It always disappoints me when a woman old enough to be my mother or even grandmother still behaves like a meangirl. Makes me feel like things are hopeless if people are still horrendous in their 50s, 60s and 70s. I know age does not necessarily equate to maturity but sheesh.
Mean women at work will also try to ruin your reputation with anyone who likes you including supervisors and friends. You must do damage control when this happens. You cannot be passive or nice, as this won't work. Too often women are encouraged to be nice, passive, just walk away and smile, and this is what sabotages their careers. Mean girls never do this and are adept at dealing with their rivals in ways nice women are not. Sometimes, you need to get proactive against mean people and take up for yourself and your self worth.
Could this be a more American thing? Sorry for asking, it is just from TV your high schools look brutal, but that can just be TV and I might be way off, so sorry if I am getting this wrong, just wondering. This really sounds terrible and I hope you don't have to deal with this often, I would be much more hurt if a woman tried to hurt me than a man because they are usually my natural allies and it hurts when someone who is meant to be supporting you and working with you turns on you for no reason. Again, sorry if my first question is too blunt, and good luck and sorry you had to go through that
The mean girl(s) at my work is seemingly nice to your face, and been responsible for a lot of firings. They'll use you up until they're done with you. I do my job, smile, and then I leave.
Same. I avoid interactions except for telling them good morning. Or see you tomorrow as I leave. I stay busy and avoid the few people in my office. My boss works at head quarters which is in another state.
whats even worse are the fake nice backstabbers who smile in your face and praise you constantly while secretly building a "case" behind your back. was forced out of my now last job because of this
I am so dealing with this right now. It is 3 men and not a woman though I am so unequipped to deal with this. I went to a girls school, at the end of the first year they kicked out the mean girls and we got 3 years of nice people to deal with. Now I wish they kept them, I would have had a clue what to do with those men.
I think it’s best to try to avoid and minimize interactions with mean girls at work at all costs. I wouldn’t spend too much time trying to understand why they are that way or making excuses for the behavior. Straight up, some people are just mean. “I’m a B***h at work and nice at home” declared one coworker. Ok, tells me all I need to know.
I am an alpha female at work, mean girls do mess with me, I am also a protector of other successful professional women at work. With a mean girl, I set boundaries asap. The only thing I say to the mean girl is "good morning" and never give a good bye or have a good weekend. I never give a 2 headed snake a chance. The mean girl knows what she's doing. and will never get empathy from me.
I wish I was an alpha female. I do not do well with confrontation. I work in a small office. There is 4 of us. 1 is leaving next week for a new job and the other 2 ladies are just horrible. I have a zoom meeting with my boss who works at headquarters in another state on Monday. I dont know if I should mention anything that has happened.
Hahahahhaaha I do that too! I’ll say good morning but sometimes I won’t even say bye to them I just leave like they don’t exist but say hi and bye have a good weekend to everyone else 😂
You bring up an excellent point; hostile women at work don't just harm womxn, they can be as awful nd abusive to men, especially men who don't fit the bro-mold.
@@DrJonTam I get a lot of flak for being a feminist, but it's all encompassing. The culture of toxic masculinity promoted by the patriarchal structures at work and in society hurt everyone who isn't upholding it - men included. So thank you for highlighting this, because this is an inclusive discussion.
@@JenniferBrick I totally get it and appreciate your approach (I come from sociology after all 😂). I have the perspective of the quiet Asian dudes who were taught at a young age to dip their heads and do the work but also result in taking a lot of heat because they can't speak out for themselves because of personality, language/culture barriers, etc. Keep up the great work Jennifer!
@@DrJonTam I’m the quiet introverted type who just want to work and mind my own business. I’m also Haitian American and from New York. I constantly get bullied by other women. I don’t know if it me or do I need to stay away from office setting. I just want to work, pay my bills, and focus on my religious activities. This is giving me anxieties to the point of depression. I don’t want to constantly change jobs. Any advice?
Yes, that is my current boss. She bullies all her female staff out of their jobs for the past 6 years. I don't have an MBA but how on earth do you, as upper management, stay silent when a new female is onboarded and Patty starts her typical bullying. Everyone beneath her knows she has a hatred for women and there is always one women in the team she'll pick on, till they resign, then she moves onto the next female. Sadly, I'm now being picked on. The advice isn't good! I disagree with it. She cannot change and more importantly, it isn't your role or responsibility to effect that change. You have a job and a life outside of work.
Having gone thru this in intense daily isolation to the point you have no coworkers talk to you….value yourself. Love yourself, remember you are worthy.
Yep. I'm going through this right now. Fortunately for me, I don't care about any of them or what they think of me. They can try, but they won't destroy me. I didn't name myself Phoenix for nothing.
Yes, I agree. Value yourself. But no man is an island. We need other humans and it’s helpful to have at least a couple of people who are working with who you get along with. We all have our difficult days and can’t go alone. I’m not willing to spend 40 hours if not more, the time that I have to decompress from being excluded. What’s the solution?
I'm a man and I had to deal not with one but two mean girls and I don't think it had anything to do with them trying to uphold the "patriarchy." Is there such a thing as "toxic femininity"?
There sure is such a thing as toxic femininity. As a woman I have always felt more a peace working with men than women. I’ve come across very bitchy and hypocritical women in my time in the office.
Yep, these people are the epitome of toxic femininity. I agree, I don't think that they are not deliberately "upholding patriarchy". They just pick on whoever they think is vulnerable or who they can get away with. Because of the patriarchy, that's usually other women. But I've seen it happen to men too.
Jennifer, they’re too dangerous to give them a chance. People like these don’t change. They only do what they know works for them. As they get older, they find out that others can see through their plotting, and that they can’t get away with things as easily as before. Then, they have to face the music that what they do no longer works for them. They’re forced to change but they always end up leaving for a ‘better’ position elsewhere. Why? Because habits are hard to die. At least they’re accustomed to high turnover but they never even suspect they are the cause of the turnover! The mean girl borrows a little bit of boss tactics and analytics to the mix to subdue an opponent. Once opponent is demoted, space is created where she feels safe and on top. Then she just plays others from that comfortable position. So, no. Patty doesn’t need to get chances because when she’s going to eliminate you, she’s not going to give it a second thought. Reserve that compassion for other coworkers who aren’t sitting in the front row who will prove to be real friends and acquaintances and fill you with happiness in the years to come. The mean girl will get you fired or demoted and you’ll lose a network of lifelong friends and acquaintances you won’t have access to if you’re no longer there!
Our mean girl at work isn't this way due to being in a man's world. She works on all new hires, men or women. Those who she can use are exempt from her tactics, and she recruits them to further ostracize the ones, not in the clique.
Never let them see you cry. They love to get a reaction... any reaction. Be indifferent to them. That really gets to them, and it's way better for you in the long run.
My tactic I use is… if they’re being a mean girl to me then I’m a mean girl right back to them. Then I tell the (mean girl), also tell all of her friends she talks shit about me with, “whenever she wants to say something negative with (my name) in her mouth my message to her is… “I DON’T GIVE A FUCK” < (my favorite) “Love when my HATERS HATE me😘” “What a sad life to live” “NO ONE likes a BULLY” < (they’ll be labeled a bully as long as they work there) *also tell your boss when it’s happening so they at least immediately know. Works for me every time. Mean girls will walk all over you if they think you’re weak and too nice to stand up to them. I deal with mean girls all the time at work. They think they’re at the top of the food chain and think they’re the shit. But like the Scorpio♏️ I am, I enjoy every second of putting those little sneaky bitches in their place where they belong and will stay as long as I’m around. Wayyy below me only bc they really tried their best to be petty little mean girls Do it my way. It’s proven to work you just have to have some back bone when you stand up for yourself and NEVER back down! Mean girls are usually scared of girls that confront people and stick up for themselves. It shows you’re not their little bitch and you can actually hold your own. TRUST ME they will stop giving you shit if you do this. And if they don’t stop. Just keep it going and be a mean girl back until they stop bc you’re not weak enough to walk all over anymore Then just let them see you really enjoying your day at work and don’t let them faze you at all. You smiling and glowing will make them more annoyed. Let them sit in misery while you’re just enjoying your day, maybe even throw them a wink if you catch them staring at you. I have no problem being a bitch back to someone that really deserves it, and you shouldn’t either.
I'm not going to go out of my way to be nice to the office mean girl, when she did illegal acts that pertained to me (and only me), and only got a warning for doing so. I have boundaries now that cause me to focus on my work and I'm more productive for it. Part of that boundary to only speak when it's work related. Five days in, and no words have been exchanged. *winning!
I don't talk to anyone unless its work related as well. I work in a small office. 1 employee is leaving which leaves 2 mean girls and myself. 😵💫 We dont have a branch manager like the oregon and washington branches, because we are so small. My boss is the area VP and he is in Washington.
I actually believe toxic femininity has way more to do with mean girls' behavior than the patriarchy. Believe it or not, several mean girls I encountered at work were actually strong preachers of feminism (although they are obviously sort of hypocritical...). I also think jealousy, desire for popularity, and insecurity are also strong reasons why so many women like to step on other women at work. I also believe that most of the time this mean behavior is very much done on purpose, and only in very rare instances out of frustration or other circumstances. I have tried to uplift these mean girls and, unfortunately, it didn't do anything to help. Although I think it's still worth a try, but I believe most mean girls will always be stuck in their mean girl ways. But yes for sure, I think women do need to uplift other women more often. I think women become stronger when they help each other. I have also noticed that mean girls have a strong tendency to be the most underperforming/lazy coworkers. I honestly don't remember ever encountering a mean girl who was a good coworker.
I've always said: "Hurt people hurt people". I guess that's why I often look at people with empathy when they treat other people disrespectfully (after establishing they are not narcissistic, because those types do not change regardless of circumstance and firm boundaries need to be established). I feel like many women think "acting like a man" or "one of the boys" will get them higher up in their careers, and depending on the industry (especially male dominated industries), it can. I think women can bring a lot of good to the workplace, and I'm truly glad to live in a time where this is becoming more recognised.
There is significant research showing that diverse companies are strong companies. Patriarchal women are a hindrance; they at best loan themselves to tokenization as willing participants, and at worst they push other women out. I think more we all unify (across the gender spectrum), the better we'll all be. Thanks for watching and adding into the conversation once again. Hope your weekend is awesome :)
@@JenniferBrick Yes! I was going to add that the most diverse companies I've worked for have definitely been the best companies I've worked for. They set the tone of respect and acceptance very clearly in their company values. Thank you too, and I hope you have a great weekend as well!
Thats bs. Men dont bully other men. We might not get along but we dont bully them. Obviously higher ups try to push others around but that is a power thing not a gendered one. We good men hate drama so we avoid it and we dont talk to guys that are bad. I dont understand where you get this idea that men approve of shitty behavior. If you dont like those women, we as sure as hell won't. Thats why you hear a lot of women say they prefer working with men and not the other way around. Thats why all male units in the military outperform integrated ones. Too much drama. We men have a basic understanding. People are out for themselves and dont trust everybody. It has nothing to do with gender. We just find our people and stick with them. Maybe, women bullying other women is not some "patriarchal" thing but its human nature. Dont blame guys for women's shitty behavior. Dont fall for this sisterhood crap. Its not real unless you bonded through experiences. Its funny in the military we might not like each other, we might disagree but our actual brotherhood prevents us from abandoning our brother in a firefight. Not because we are men but because of the pain and suffering we both went through. Its why men can get in a fist fight and shake hands after. Women can't do that at all. How about instead of focusing on the gender. Find commonality amongst people that bind you and uplift them. Stop acting like women are angels and if they aren't its because of the patriarchy. Lol with that mind set, you are probably someone who gets manipulated by other women because they play on your emotions by saying we should stick together because we are women despite her being a terrible person. Thats literally what Hillary Clinton did. Vote for me because I am a women.
@@sergioalvarez1919 you think there is no connection between power and gender in ou current societal structure? I also encourage you to read your comment back to see how contradictory it is.
I agree. You're right. I have often felt sorry for her. But I definitely won't take her crap. I try my best to ignore her. I won't be mean back but I'm definitely not going to talk to her when she pretends everything between us is just fine. I will only speak to her about the job.
This is interesting. There is a women I am currently working with that fits this description. She has managed to hurt several people. I steer clear of her.
With all due respect, this probably has to do with ego and to the same extend self-esteem. I have seen the mean girl at work, and she does not work there anymore! eventually, every group does get tired of nastiness, gossip, pettiness, etc. because of all that is draining. To this mean girl, once that element is not fed, she will become bored, starved of negativity, and she would leave hopefully on her own. It was truly not much of a loss.
for a gender seeking gender equality, females are often seen putting down other females. rare for me to encounter a female who is supportive of another.
They usual do get worse. That Jezebel spirit within them gets highly restless and agitated. Do not engage or go near them unless they are a supervisor and you have to.
@@deerene thank you! She sits right next to me so I’m doing my best. Don’t say much more than good morning or address work questions. As soon as a transfer opportunity comes up I’m bailing.
I am dealing someone who is a mean girl at work. I hate the way it makes me. That a month ago we had a heated argument over something that we don't talk to other each now. It things uncomfortable. I can't stand it!! I trying to do my job. Okay maybe some mistakes were made along the way between me and her. But didn't want things to get this bad. Well it did. I sometimes wish I didn't do certain things to work that maybe wouldn't sparked the argument in the first place. I am not sure who to talk to about the situation or who to trust. I feel like I don't want to work anymore. I wish the whole situation was different.
Jennifer, I’ve worked in mixed environments for over 30 years. With the exceptions of things that take place in the restroom/doctor’s office, ever single problem that women have, men have too. I’ve known men who were passed over for promotion so many times, you felt a breeze as they walked by. I’ve known a lot of mean women in the workplace. I somehow doubt it’s because of internalized misogyny.
Jennifer I am currently in this position. There’s a really mean girl on my team. Everyone who have ever worked with her left the company! She’s kinda my bosses favorite. She wants even done her way. Hell NO!!!!
What a beautiful summary of workplace bullying at work. Personally I ask each team member to compliment each other at weekly meetings just to give opportunities to make up for misunderstandings or to show gratitudes for other co-workers. My department- HR needs massive team bonding and seems to be working really well. Workplace is no different from child bearing as we tend to show positive behaviours. From my experiences, mean girls will eventually soften up as they are recognised by other people and I have more chances to provide pay rise for the team with positivity.
Everything about this 👏👏👏 We truly rise by lifting others. I love how you consciously and intentionally praise everyone and reward positive behavior. It inspires people to be their best. Thank you so much for sharing this, I know it will spark action in others who read it. And thank you for growing the conversation here.
What about Petty Betty? She has much less to do with the patriarchy and much more to do with immaturity. An adult workplace shouldn’t feel like a high school cafeteria, patriarchy or not. Seems like this video is much more about trendy buzz words than the reality of immature small minded humans. A mean girl isn’t inherently “bias” or “unenlitented”- sometimes they’re just shitty people.
This is an issue I always have faced at work. At any work place there were a couple of girls who show hatred, tried to set me up, or ignored my presence from day one! I always kept being nice, respectful, or giving them compliment trying to namely as you said "uplifting eachother". However, the nicer I was with her, the more arrogant and mean she became. The sad part is that these girls are always the senior ones who are not welcoming to a new female getting onboard. They have the influence, power and colleague friend circle to tear her down. I have tried to stay away or try to ignore. However, this would make it works too. Some women do not like other women from day ine without knowing them! Specially is you are an attractive woman, you get men attention and kindness at work the situation gets really bad. If she sees you talking with a male collage, she developed more jalousy. Idk why I myself never felt that kinda threatening feeling about other women even if they are prettier, more successful or richer. Idk why some women get threatened by other women easily and try to set them up to make them trouble. I always seek for some advices how to deal with this.
He’s what I can’t get anyone to shed light on this for me, or make it make sense. I’m overweight. That’s 1. Now I haven’t always been overweight but I am now. I’m convinced that no woman can be jealous of you if your fat. It’s not humanly possible. Keeping that in mind why would another fat girl be hateful to me? 🤔 I’m fat. She’s fat. She has a bf that doesn’t work with us. I’m single. I don’t have any friends. And I prefer it that way. She has everyone wrapped around her finger. She has turned everyone against me. She smiles in my face and talks about me behind my back. Which I go I along with. Because I don’t care. And she’s still not happy. What gives. She doesn’t respect boundaries either. Her daughter has behavioral problems at school and it’s always the other kids fault 😐 what is her problem with me when I stays in my lane
Her problem with you is that you don't care! Haha... I don't care either and it's got them "pressed." I'm also single and fat... but I love myself "as is" and I generally don't seek outside validation. This drives them all mad because they're all so insecure and everything they do is for attention. They spend a lot of time working out, dieting and resort to plastic surgery to make themselves feel "good enough." I know that I'm good enough "as is." Don't get me wrong, I'm not against anyone doing any of these things. I'm all about: Do whatever makes YOU happy. However; when they start taking sh** about how I color my hair "unnatural" colors, rock an undercut pixie haircut, and wear all black...(This was brought up in a meeting with HR) they need to put the focus back on themselves. Yeah, I don't look like you, and so what?? I don't want to look like YOU. (I want to look like ME) I only compete with myself. (I don't compete with other women) I like my job. (I don't want your job) I like being single. (I don't want your man) I don't sh** where I eat (I don't date anyone that works for the same company in ANY department) In other words, I'm "different" and that's not okay (in their eyes)
I've worked with many mean girls in the workplace... Mean guys too... They destroy the team environment... It seems to be a form of jealousy... You hit the nail on the head when you said beliefs... Many have bad beliefs which creates bad outcomes... Thank you for this video...
I Am So Incredibly grateful this topic was raised Jennifer! More often than not I had jobs ruined because when I spoke up it was either blamed on me and/or the mean girl lied to get out of not facing up to it. Therefore my resume isn’t showing how long I would have been at a job nearly as often as I had to leave due to horrible toxicity and the male bosses didn’t do a damn thing about it
What does patriarchy have to do with this? Mean people could be everyone, men or women, doesn't mean if they are woke or ultra conservative. It is about their bad behavior and personality not about their believes. And being nice to people like this will just reinforce them to continue acting the same. The only exception I would make is if that mean person is my boss. But in that case I would leave that place as soon as possible.
I love your videos, but your view of bullying might be skewed by the fact that you've worked with mostly men. I've worked in both types of environments, and for the most part, male-dominated industries seem to have less bullying.
I'm a guy and in my group,a girl was choosen to be our boss but I never saw her as one.She might seemed nice on the outside and doesn't want to get any problem but inside she's really mean.Everytime there's an issue about her,she always act innocent like she doesn't know anything about it and blames all that to me,and that cause me to get conflicts with our superiours.She has been blaming constantly one of my younger friends for little things she would also do,sometimes even worse too.She harrases him because he's younger than us,can't defend himself alone,not very smart and usually doesn't know what to do.Instead of helping those who need it,she favours those who are her 'friends',thus making fun of the young ones and not involving me several times.I want her to pay for her toxic behaviour she brings to our group and I'm not the only one thinking it,a lot of people and friends hate her a lot.
@@JenniferBrick yeah somehow,basically I don't see her as my boss because she hasn't proven anything,she is inexperienced compared to me and what I've learned, and she always ignored me especially when I had something to say.When she was choosen to be in charge,I thought she would bring maturity and a positive authority but she did worse.She is also narcissistic and her behaviour is unbearable for everyone except the real bosses.
@Silver & Cold the issue is not that it's a woman who is my boss,I'm totally fine with that.the issue is her lack of trust,reliability and actual experience and that is clearly noticed in her words and behaviour.but now that I'm the boss for the year I'll just avoid any discrimination and try to behave myself too.
Jennifer, you are correct, just like Lazy Chad is typically a man, there are still mean girls at work, and you are good to call them out. The bad thing about these mean girls, they make nice people fearful of her and they tend to go along with her, even though they know she is doing the wrong things. I have a "friend" that has a mean girl in management, who will actually lie in emails and somehow she gets away with that.
Very well said! I work in healthcare and found that the nearest women are the ones in their mid to late fifties or sixties. I’ve asking seen them criticize men and play victim based on being a woman, while bullying the younger women at work.
Same! One of the mean girls I encountered at work would always point out my mistakes when she could but she would always lie and cover her own mistakes....
I been a victim of bulling at work by Patriarchy Patty. I am what you call a male Autistic Professional who struggle with a social disability. Being a male worker in a dominating female corporate culture I been mocked and talked about in a toxic way. I recently developed tick called stimming and when I talk to people my arms would get ridged but only when I get social stressed. Long story short cause of my visible disability I been a victim of passive aggressive bullying from female workers. I recently been told by a friend at work that they are secretly trying to fire me cause I am not so called 'culturally compatible'. I work in IT so I help them with there IT issue and through the grape vine I heard they are intentionally not issue ticket to fix there computers needs so they can have an excuse to get rid of me, you know to create a mock poor performance. I guess it doesn't matter if your a man or woman, cruelty is an equal opportunist.
Mean Girls at my former work needed to be yelled at by the customers because their attitudes were against company policy, which customer service was first and foremost important without exceptions. So many mean girls got away with it unfortunately, and I was personally disgusted the my former employers didn't go by their own policies and went by their own agenda. If they got fired, they deserve the walk of shame treatment which meant being escorted out by security in full view of customers and employees.
I always worked in customer facing roles, it's an enormous responsibility to be there face of the company. It's unfortunate when people accept that responsibility and impact client experience. Thanks for raising this. I greatly appreciate everything you contribute on these videos 🥰
@@JenniferBrick thank you, and I'm always willing to contribute anything. I've lived through a lot of the points you have raised in your videos (ea-workplace gossip, coworkers are not your friends, and other points). I also feel that workplace conditions will never get better, no matter how much we all fight to make a difference.
I think our collective efforts make a difference. Each positive ask eventually inspires another and it snowballs. If I'm wrong, we at least can say we tried.
I'm working to change because of burn out. It is really really bad especially when the mean stylist at the salon comes to work. She is perpetually passive aggressive to the point where it is so flipping obvious everyone knows shes mad. I'm the receptionist and I have a lot of responsibilities. Keeping up with them is not without difficulty especially when dealing with the mean coworker. I really try my best and I've been fighting burn out for some time now to the point of being lazy. I really wanted to be a stylist. She only makes it worse as she continually nit-picks me. I've tried to be nice to her, I've tried to see the bright side of what she brings to the team. She comes off so cold hearted. She is a dedicated diligent worker. Very driven and very fast paced. Currently working on trying to fight burn out and work harder for her but I don't like working with her.
You are helping me so Much. I HAD A GREAT week for the first time in 3 years. Watch all your videos. So glad I found you, life is getting easier. Thank you do much.
Can you do a video on How MEN can survive (mean/toxic) girls at work too? I work with this very attractive girl, that makes my life hell, (im sure a lot of us men have had similar experiences). She is attracted to another men in work place, (and because she likes him, its okay for him to talk very sexualized, and she will giggle and flirt). Sometimes i feel left out of the convo, so I made an effort, to try and get involved in conversation (dont want to be a weirdo that doesnt talk).. BUT I had a convo about, what do you think about Love island, (something shes talked to other people before) And behind my back, she went and told EVERYONE, including the man that she fancies, how I am a creep, and tried talking to her about love island. (bare in mind, she is happy being involved in conversations A LOT WORSE with other men) What do I do? I feel like now, i can't talk to her as she has gone too far... but then if i don't talk to her at all, i will look like a weirdo, that has no social skills!!! Someone please help!! I just want an easy life!!
My current experience at CFA. I’m an introvert and a very sensitive person. I’m 28 I’ve lived some life so I know how it goes. I know how to control my emotions and I know how to be professional. But I’m also shy. My jobs have always been office jobs up to now, at CFA, And this girl just hated me from day one. She’s the star there for some reason everyone loves her. She’s 22. Her favorite saying is I’m a Bitch. Says a lot. But then she’s nice and then mean and then nice and then mean. And it seems psychotic to me. And my sensitive mind can’t handle this any longer. I JUST left a job of three years because of a boss like this. You think retail is better?
@@ashtrik3798 i actually had a gm like that at a Arby's she even had her friends join in to try to harass me left after 2 or 3 weeks on April fools day so you aren't crazy as you lasted longer then I ever could and honestly as a Inrovert co workers like that is why I'm scared of retail along with customers but ever since I've started working as a dishwasher ya there's still bullshit involved but you have alot more leverage as almost no one wants to wash dishes and as the dishwasher you single handely hold the keys to ether single handely keep the place running smoothly or back it up people know that so the smart ones respect you the dumb ones piss you off into making you want to let the dishes pile up and walk out
I love this video. I am actually going through a situation like this and it is very hard at times, but I grew up with parents who always told me to, “kill ‘em with kindness” even when it is hard, I TRY my BEST to stick to that!
Thank you for the insightful strategies! It's refreshing to see realistic advice on dealing with mean girls at the office. Unfortunately, they will always be around, but your tips make it easier to handle them professionally.
I have no problem empathizing that they feel too competitive or threatened for whatever reason but I feel like it bothers them that I am happy and positive? I really don’t understand that. I always start a new job feeling very positive towards everyone so I really don’t understand why these women target me. I have no problem with their authority
This is great but can you gives us the "how" in dealing with those type of girls. Sometimes a person is not able to isolate from them if its their boss. Please help!
Hi Lovely, my experience is to insulate yourself as much as possible, keep discussions professional and short, never argue with them. The best thing to do though is to leave and find a healthy workplace. You can’t win with these narcissistic bosses.
I have a "mean girl" boss too. I'm really using the term "girl" loosely here! I'll admit I've put up with a lot of disrespectful behavior from her. She likes to yell at me, criticize my performance in front of my coworkers... use her body language, tone of voice and facial expressions to intimidate... but I know, in reality her bark is worse than her bite. I know it would be best for me to get another job... but how do I know if the working conditions will be any better somewhere else? I've dealt with these types all of my life. I like my job and I have some good benefits at the company that I work for. I'm not giving that up voluntarily unless a better opportunity comes along that I feel sure of.
In zero places in this video did I say it's only minority women bring bullied. White women bully each other too. Statistically, womxn of color are more likely to be targeted, not the other way around. And womxn of color are more likely to be harmed and further marginalized. Even when white women are the bullied, cultural norms protect them. Are their exceptions to what is typical and statistically sounds? Yes. Is it okay to try to falsely equivocate those? No.
I am SO sick and tired of the narrative that we need to be nice to bullies because they're insecure. Besides psychology research debunking this myth, every single one of us has had hard times, low self-worth, and internalized misogyny if we're women, yet if it's only a small percentage who can't get it together, then that points to a substantial deficiency in them that needs to be dealt with swiftly so it doesn't infect others. I have tried to have empathy for these women and be kind to them in the face of their bullying. That is fuel to the fire. It will destroy the victim's mental health. The primary way to deal with them is to confront them head on. The expert-level way to deal with them once you've had enough experience is to embrace your inner Machiavelli and triangulate others against them. Pretty easy to do if you can cultivate a kind yet firm and professional image. Then it's as simple as "just sharing a concerning observation" with those in the "need to know" category. THAT is how you deal with a mean girl. She wants sympathy? She can find god because she won't get any from me. I've gotten mean girls fired including a former boss when I stopped crying in bathrooms and freezers and started taking back my power. Women are people too and I will only uplift people who are not acting with cruelty and malice.
I liked this video except for the part where I felt excuses were being made for the mean girls. I've been nice, friendly and supportive to those people in the past and still got betrayed. They've caused me to lose jobs, tried to take my boyfriends away and hurt me in other ways. They know exactly what they're doing and they enjoy it.
I work with a dragon and she is good about getting me in trouble for she complains all the time. I feel like everyone caters to the dragon. I would like to quit but not sure changing work places will be guarantee no dragons will work there or soon to work there. I have to learn how to stop letting the dragon from turning people against me.
I get what this video is doing but I’m a nurse. It’s the culture of nursing. They’re not a small minority in my workplace-they literally teach this in nursing school. Expect to be bullied because nurses eat their young. I work in OB, so many-but certainly not all-of the docs are also women who engage in the mobbing. What do you do when it’s intentional and encouraged? I stay away from my bullies but they seek me out, especially when I’m sitting alone charting.
All of these types basically have an Irma Grese (look her up) inside them waiting to get out. That's the truth we're all in denial of. They may dance to a different tune, they may be wearing different clothes, but she's there alright and she's waiting for the right opportunity. It's not just women they attack. Like all sadistic bullies, they go for weakness or difference and they'll pick on an individual. You can't make excuses for them or try to be nice, you've got to stand up for yourself.
I used to work at a bakery with mostly women. At that point. I used to work at Target and most of the women there were AMAZING. Not all of them, but the ones I talk to often I LOVED. I would marry some of them lol. This is coming from a Gay man 2. Anyways, I start this new job at a bakery. Theres about 4 women in my section each varying in age from about 50 to 23. I was 21 at the time. I don't know why I didn't leave earlier and go back to Target, but the youngest one. The shortest one. Was the worst! I hated her. I even feared her because she had so much bad energy. She yelled at me once but I kinda regret not giving her a piece of my mind. Thing is it was during when I was going through a mental and emotional spiral, but I hated the way I was treated by her. I stayed quite for the most part, but I still felt like they mostly did not like me. Especially 3 of them who would give me the cold shoulder and what not. I just wish I could give them that energy back. It totally know how I would and should have responded which was to just leave the first day and never went back. I lasted about 3 months until I got fired lol and jumped to another job. Though, that experience with kind of put me on the defensive with coworkers now and maybe til years to come. I've always been a people pleaser. Less than before, but I just want to trust people again. I think people like her who are very passive aggressive are just very insecure obviously.
I am supervising (new to this supervisory role) a ‘Patty’ and her target is a friend of mine. It’s a difficult position for me. I have attempted a few techniques without success and I am unsure what to do next.
The female I work with she has tried to make me look like I don’t know how to do my job, setting me up to fail and when confronted on all this, there has been females she had to train quite cause they could not handle how rude she was, not wanting to share information to them to learn there job. They had to remove her from one new person cause that person was going to leave cause she could not handle how badly she was being treated. She lies and never takes responsibility for her actions nor the work she does not do puts the blame on others. She gets along with the males. I think she has very low self esteem of herself
I am looking for help as I am working in a all girls team here and currently my reputation got burnt to the ground and one of them tries to burn my reputation to the ground so much so that I don't have lunch with them. I tried to finish the video. Being a guy, while watching the video, I feel like I am back in my work team. Welp!
What about the workplace bullies where I keep a positive bubble and no matter what, they find something to prey on. They will purposefully like every single person’s messages on our Teams chat, except for mine. When the company is celebrating something big for me in Teams, they don’t even acknowledge it but if it’s them, I celebrate like I do for everyone. I just don’t understand why they hate me so much. I’m very open with my boss about this, and she says it’s because they aren’t performing like I am. But there’s people way above me and I celebrate all of their wins, because we are ONE TEAM. It is so draining and toxic and makes me want to leave the company, or relocate and have to move my husband and 2 small children. It’s draining, and I’ve dealt with it for 2 years. I’m to the point where I no longer want to participate in Teams celebrations chat because it’s hurtful.
This is very helpful but your talking too much.. people are in need and it would help if you got straight to the point so we can know what to do when we are being stomped on by other women. Enough is enough
I have a mean lady at my work, and man she does knows what she is doing. There is a differnece between being mean and single out a person in your team to make her loom like she is trash and unskilled. They know
Doesn't matter! They're mean and they are hurting people. Also, when the mean girl is your boss, you're totally F****. In my experience, they will do whatever they can, because you became a target for them.
What are your thoughts on the mean girl dynamic? How do you think we fix it?
I’ve tried the love thing, it doesn’t matter or work
@@cailiebetz8490 it won't always work... but I think its worth the effort. Worst case it doesn't work, but you know that you were your kind and awesome self. And of course when it doesn't work you don't have to keep it up, just be professional and polite.)
I will try my very best :)
@@cailiebetz8490 not matter what, focus on building a supportive community. There are so many wonderful people out there who will lift you up the way you lift them up.
I hope you find some of it here :D
I was being professional and polite and the mean girl told me to, “shut up.” 😐
Small percentage? Please. I have seen them in every job I had. They are just jealous and mean. They can't stand to see another woman who is smart or successful or beautiful, It eats them up. Also, the nicer you are, the more they will hate you because they can't find an excuse to make you look bad, so they hate you even more.
If you are mediocre in anyway, they will like you because they feel good next to you, but if you stand out, get ready for some haters.
You need to be brought down because your self esteem is too high . You think to highly of yourself so we find small ways to attack you
This comment 💯
This comment is everything 💯 also remember guys, if you ain’t got no haters you ain’t poppin
What you said is exactlyyyyy what I have experinced too. I belive they are everywhere at any work place.
What you said is 100 percent true in reality ! It's exactly my words
Looks like some of the worst people from school have not change by the time they have a job.
Sadly that is very true.
Shocking reality.
Yeah, some people never grow up unfortunately.
True.
Some people don't grow up and stay a kid 👿 it's really annoying how these people can tell you what to do and how to live or feel. But can't make a little change to their mental age.😮💨
I hate working at places that predominantly women becuase there is always some catty, bitter, old hag, bully type,vindictive etc.
Omg THIS
This is true that the more women at work, the more likely that there will be a mean one, but this comment. Haha. Really?
My life as a nurse 😭
Saaaamee working with men is better and some of the best experiences at work. Can’t stand working with females
Always!!!
Stop saying mean people do not do wrong on purpose. They do and they are aware of that is wrong!!!! Come on!
I agree with you! They don’t care about you or your pain & whether they are the cause of it! In their minds, you being ‘nice to them’ doesn’t help change who they are - they only consider that you’re dumb and you are weak. And they’ll test the theory by doing something to see if you fail to confirm you’re gullible and weak.
Oh, they do it on purpose & at any cost. They don’t feel good but why should we care, they believe that’s what they need to do to stay ahead. They don’t do it for the company, they do it to stay on top. A couple of expensive handbags and shoes and their ‘bad feelings’ are gone & she’s back at it again. Mean girls go through employees like toilet paper, in order to conceal the bad things they get away with. Not even the bosses realize or detect it!!! Anyone who sees the pattern is in danger of getting cancelled at work; the gossip, the slander begins to destroy your reputation so you get eliminated or demoted. Definitely no sympathy for these ‘mean girls’! The only way to keep them under control is strict reviews and keeping the bar real high, so that they focus their energies on the work itself and not on displacing responsibility to other coworkers. Only by ‘cracking the whip on them’ and micromanaging them can you limit their aggression to other coworkers. Throwing them constant deadlines keeps them ‘busy’ and making sure they’re doing honest work so as not to drag in another victim at her expense. Eventually the mean girl will leave because it’s too much work and wants to get paid more. Then she leaves and starts the cycle all over again. They prefer to leave - that’s the only way they can survive without eating themselves alive. When a ‘mean girl’ situation is detected, a B type female must immediately seek a horizontal transition into another dept. to avoid the wrath and consequences of this type of personality. You’ll detect a problem with this type of female if there is high turnover of the position.
Red flags 🚩 should go up immediately of any female using the opportunity to criticize another female coworker. A manipulation to make you feel like you’re gaining her approval and acceptance into her circle. It’s a rouse, a ploy, a tactic. By putting down another, it gives them such a feeling of elation. Do it once, and they’ll keep coming back to you for more and you’ll just end up with dead weight gossip and unwarranted drama.
exactly. tired I'd being nice to them and they don't stop. they know and I don't pity them.
Thank you for this comment. I didn’t need to waste my time for this video.
So true Ana!! You are correct.
@@ddupree9484 Exactly!! and unfortunately it’s rampant in nursing or many healthcare settings which typically are female dominated work environments so much so I’m so ready to get out.
It’s absolutely emotionally and mentally draining 😩
Too much empathy and being too nice sets us up to be taken advantage of and be targeted by Narcissists. Let’s stop making excuses for their bad behavior take care of yourself you got this
Yes!
Thank you!!
Never be nice to ANY woman at work. Save your soul!
I don’t know what it is with woman. There’s always this meanness and jealousy that takes place and it has nothing to do with high school because there’s woman pushing 40 and 50 still being mean girls. It’s sad and stupid
It's not all women, it's the small percentage of patriarchal women you're speaking about. And I don't think they intend to do harm in any way, but they've been raised with a subconscious belief in their own inferiority (which is not true, obvs), and that opportunities are scarce (when in fact they are abundant).
It's a big problem with many things we need to do to fix.
I agreee
@@JenniferBrick i dont know if i can agree with that...it seems some of these people are lazy and like to pick on the hard workers, or put others down to build themselves up. I have noticed a lot that the bully's/bossy are the ones who dont work that hard themselves, but when anyone else messes up they put them down..
@@somethinggood9267 I agree
It always disappoints me when a woman old enough to be my mother or even grandmother still behaves like a meangirl. Makes me feel like things are hopeless if people are still horrendous in their 50s, 60s and 70s. I know age does not necessarily equate to maturity but sheesh.
Mean women at work will also try to ruin your reputation with anyone who likes you including supervisors and friends. You must do damage control when this happens. You cannot be passive or nice, as this won't work. Too often women are encouraged to be nice, passive, just walk away and smile, and this is what sabotages their careers. Mean girls never do this and are adept at dealing with their rivals in ways nice women are not. Sometimes, you need to get proactive against mean people and take up for yourself and your self worth.
Good post . Can you give some examples on how to deal
Could this be a more American thing?
Sorry for asking, it is just from TV your high schools look brutal, but that can just be TV and I might be way off, so sorry if I am getting this wrong, just wondering.
This really sounds terrible and I hope you don't have to deal with this often, I would be much more hurt if a woman tried to hurt me than a man because they are usually my natural allies and it hurts when someone who is meant to be supporting you and working with you turns on you for no reason.
Again, sorry if my first question is too blunt, and good luck and sorry you had to go through that
@LaurenIsNotMyNamexo The mean girl at my work is from Ecuador.
@LaurenIsNotMyNamexo well she's worked mostly with immigrants from lots off different places, but maybe! :)
@LaurenIsNotMyNamexo The mean girl at work is from Venezuela, I’m from Mexico.
The mean girl(s) at my work is seemingly nice to your face, and been responsible for a lot of firings. They'll use you up until they're done with you. I do my job, smile, and then I leave.
Same. I avoid interactions except for telling them good morning. Or see you tomorrow as I leave. I stay busy and avoid the few people in my office. My boss works at head quarters which is in another state.
Great advice!
whats even worse are the fake nice backstabbers who smile in your face and praise you constantly while secretly building a "case" behind your back. was forced out of my now last job because of this
I am so dealing with this right now.
It is 3 men and not a woman though
I am so unequipped to deal with this.
I went to a girls school, at the end of the first year they kicked out the mean girls and we got 3 years of nice people to deal with.
Now I wish they kept them, I would have had a clue what to do with those men.
I'm dealing with this same type of toxic situation right now. You've got to be tough as nails to deal with it. As for me, I've had a lot of practice.
I think it’s best to try to avoid and minimize interactions with mean girls at work at all costs. I wouldn’t spend too much time trying to understand why they are that way or making excuses for the behavior. Straight up, some people are just mean. “I’m a B***h at work and nice at home” declared one coworker. Ok, tells me all I need to know.
Yes, avoid the mean girls as much as possible! Great advice.
I’m pretty sure they’re mean at home too and unhappy that’s why they take it out on others at work
I am an alpha female at work, mean girls do mess with me, I am also a protector of other successful professional women at work. With a mean girl, I set boundaries asap. The only thing I say to the mean girl is "good morning" and never give a good bye or have a good weekend. I never give a 2 headed snake a chance. The mean girl knows what she's doing. and will never get empathy from me.
I wish I was an alpha female. I do not do well with confrontation. I work in a small office. There is 4 of us. 1 is leaving next week for a new job and the other 2 ladies are just horrible. I have a zoom meeting with my boss who works at headquarters in another state on Monday. I dont know if I should mention anything that has happened.
@@a.l.a7901 k
You need to bring the message of resurrection power to work not personal flesh.
@@a.l.a7901 sometimes I feel like its better to stay quiet but I don’t know .I’m in the same boat and I’ve only been there for 3 weeks :(
Hahahahhaaha I do that too! I’ll say good morning but sometimes I won’t even say bye to them I just leave like they don’t exist but say hi and bye have a good weekend to everyone else 😂
I’m a dude and mean girls are something I stay away from at work. Nothing good can ever come of it.
You bring up an excellent point; hostile women at work don't just harm womxn, they can be as awful nd abusive to men, especially men who don't fit the bro-mold.
Jennifer Brick yeah, bro dudes can just steer clear of them and brush them off. The more introverted quiet ones can really get bullied.
@@DrJonTam I get a lot of flak for being a feminist, but it's all encompassing. The culture of toxic masculinity promoted by the patriarchal structures at work and in society hurt everyone who isn't upholding it - men included. So thank you for highlighting this, because this is an inclusive discussion.
@@JenniferBrick I totally get it and appreciate your approach (I come from sociology after all 😂). I have the perspective of the quiet Asian dudes who were taught at a young age to dip their heads and do the work but also result in taking a lot of heat because they can't speak out for themselves because of personality, language/culture barriers, etc. Keep up the great work Jennifer!
@@DrJonTam I’m the quiet introverted type who just want to work and mind my own business. I’m also Haitian American and from New York. I constantly get bullied by other women. I don’t know if it me or do I need to stay away from office setting. I just want to work, pay my bills, and focus on my religious activities. This is giving me anxieties to the point of depression. I don’t want to constantly change jobs. Any advice?
Yes, that is my current boss. She bullies all her female staff out of their jobs for the past 6 years. I don't have an MBA but how on earth do you, as upper management, stay silent when a new female is onboarded and Patty starts her typical bullying. Everyone beneath her knows she has a hatred for women and there is always one women in the team she'll pick on, till they resign, then she moves onto the next female. Sadly, I'm now being picked on.
The advice isn't good! I disagree with it. She cannot change and more importantly, it isn't your role or responsibility to effect that change. You have a job and a life outside of work.
Having gone thru this in intense daily isolation to the point you have no coworkers talk to you….value yourself. Love yourself, remember you are worthy.
Yep. I'm going through this right now. Fortunately for me, I don't care about any of them or what they think of me. They can try, but they won't destroy me. I didn't name myself Phoenix for nothing.
Yes, I agree. Value yourself. But no man is an island. We need other humans and it’s helpful to have at least a couple of people who are working with who you get along with. We all have our difficult days and can’t go alone. I’m not willing to spend 40 hours if not more, the time that I have to decompress from being excluded. What’s the solution?
I disagree with empathy for mean girls I’ve seen mean girls smile with glee when she had some one fired. 😢
I'm a man and I had to deal not with one but two mean girls and I don't think it had anything to do with them trying to uphold the "patriarchy." Is there such a thing as "toxic femininity"?
There sure is such a thing as toxic femininity. As a woman I have always felt more a peace working with men than women. I’ve come across very bitchy and hypocritical women in my time in the office.
Absolutely
Yep, these people are the epitome of toxic femininity. I agree, I don't think that they are not deliberately "upholding patriarchy". They just pick on whoever they think is vulnerable or who they can get away with. Because of the patriarchy, that's usually other women. But I've seen it happen to men too.
Ding!Ding!Ding!
Exactly
Jennifer, they’re too dangerous to give them a chance. People like these don’t change. They only do what they know works for them. As they get older, they find out that others can see through their plotting, and that they can’t get away with things as easily as before. Then, they have to face the music that what they do no longer works for them. They’re forced to change but they always end up leaving for a ‘better’ position elsewhere. Why? Because habits are hard to die. At least they’re accustomed to high turnover but they never even suspect they are the cause of the turnover! The mean girl borrows a little bit of boss tactics and analytics to the mix to subdue an opponent. Once opponent is demoted, space is created where she feels safe and on top. Then she just plays others from that comfortable position. So, no. Patty doesn’t need to get chances because when she’s going to eliminate you, she’s not going to give it a second thought. Reserve that compassion for other coworkers who aren’t sitting in the front row who will prove to be real friends and acquaintances and fill you with happiness in the years to come. The mean girl will get you fired or demoted and you’ll lose a network of lifelong friends and acquaintances you won’t have access to if you’re no longer there!
Our mean girl at work isn't this way due to being in a man's world. She works on all new hires, men or women. Those who she can use are exempt from her tactics, and she recruits them to further ostracize the ones, not in the clique.
Agreed!
Narcissists come in all shapes, races, genders, classes, etc.
Thankyou!
In my office, the mean girls are the boss's favorites. They are a clique and they want to dominate the office.
Yasss I have a high school mindset in my department. Just sad, the other department has MATURE people. They don't attack anyone. Huge difference.
Leave toxic workplace asap is your boss condone it
In my experience, that is usually the case. The meanest, most toxic women are management's favorites.
💯
It's pathetic and cruel...queens of the cubicle, low ambition selves...
literally majority of my coworkers hate me for no reason 😍😍 i wanna cry all the time when i’m there
I cried today at my job too.
@@mymoonams why did you cry 😢
Never let them see you cry. They love to get a reaction... any reaction. Be indifferent to them. That really gets to them, and it's way better for you in the long run.
It’s probably because you’re the prettiest one and they all know it
Same here. Being too quiet has its benefits and its consequences.
My tactic I use is… if they’re being a mean girl to me then I’m a mean girl right back to them. Then I tell the (mean girl), also tell all of her friends she talks shit about me with, “whenever she wants to say something negative with (my name) in her mouth my message to her is…
“I DON’T GIVE A FUCK” < (my favorite)
“Love when my HATERS HATE me😘”
“What a sad life to live”
“NO ONE likes a BULLY” < (they’ll be labeled a bully as long as they work there)
*also tell your boss when it’s happening so they at least immediately know.
Works for me every time. Mean girls will walk all over you if they think you’re weak and too nice to stand up to them. I deal with mean girls all the time at work. They think they’re at the top of the food chain and think they’re the shit. But like the Scorpio♏️ I am, I enjoy every second of putting those little sneaky bitches in their place where they belong and will stay as long as I’m around. Wayyy below me only bc they really tried their best to be petty little mean girls
Do it my way. It’s proven to work you just have to have some back bone when you stand up for yourself and NEVER back down! Mean girls are usually scared of girls that confront people and stick up for themselves. It shows you’re not their little bitch and you can actually hold your own. TRUST ME they will stop giving you shit if you do this. And if they don’t stop. Just keep it going and be a mean girl back until they stop bc you’re not weak enough to walk all over anymore
Then just let them see you really enjoying your day at work and don’t let them faze you at all. You smiling and glowing will make them more annoyed. Let them sit in misery while you’re just enjoying your day, maybe even throw them a wink if you catch them staring at you.
I have no problem being a bitch back to someone that really deserves it, and you shouldn’t either.
I'm not going to go out of my way to be nice to the office mean girl, when she did illegal acts that pertained to me (and only me), and only got a warning for doing so. I have boundaries now that cause me to focus on my work and I'm more productive for it. Part of that boundary to only speak when it's work related. Five days in, and no words have been exchanged. *winning!
I don't talk to anyone unless its work related as well. I work in a small office. 1 employee is leaving which leaves 2 mean girls and myself. 😵💫 We dont have a branch manager like the oregon and washington branches, because we are so small. My boss is the area VP and he is in Washington.
Same here!
I do not agree with this video. It’s not my job to make a mean girl feel good about herself 😂😂😂
Bingo. Not my job either. Fix yourself.
Mean girls at work are awful
What has helped you when you've encountered them Cailie?
I actually believe toxic femininity has way more to do with mean girls' behavior than the patriarchy. Believe it or not, several mean girls I encountered at work were actually strong preachers of feminism (although they are obviously sort of hypocritical...).
I also think jealousy, desire for popularity, and insecurity are also strong reasons why so many women like to step on other women at work. I also believe that most of the time this mean behavior is very much done on purpose, and only in very rare instances out of frustration or other circumstances.
I have tried to uplift these mean girls and, unfortunately, it didn't do anything to help. Although I think it's still worth a try, but I believe most mean girls will always be stuck in their mean girl ways.
But yes for sure, I think women do need to uplift other women more often. I think women become stronger when they help each other.
I have also noticed that mean girls have a strong tendency to be the most underperforming/lazy coworkers. I honestly don't remember ever encountering a mean girl who was a good coworker.
I've always said: "Hurt people hurt people". I guess that's why I often look at people with empathy when they treat other people disrespectfully (after establishing they are not narcissistic, because those types do not change regardless of circumstance and firm boundaries need to be established).
I feel like many women think "acting like a man" or "one of the boys" will get them higher up in their careers, and depending on the industry (especially male dominated industries), it can. I think women can bring a lot of good to the workplace, and I'm truly glad to live in a time where this is becoming more recognised.
There is significant research showing that diverse companies are strong companies. Patriarchal women are a hindrance; they at best loan themselves to tokenization as willing participants, and at worst they push other women out. I think more we all unify (across the gender spectrum), the better we'll all be.
Thanks for watching and adding into the conversation once again. Hope your weekend is awesome :)
@@JenniferBrick Yes! I was going to add that the most diverse companies I've worked for have definitely been the best companies I've worked for. They set the tone of respect and acceptance very clearly in their company values. Thank you too, and I hope you have a great weekend as well!
Thats bs. Men dont bully other men. We might not get along but we dont bully them. Obviously higher ups try to push others around but that is a power thing not a gendered one. We good men hate drama so we avoid it and we dont talk to guys that are bad. I dont understand where you get this idea that men approve of shitty behavior. If you dont like those women, we as sure as hell won't. Thats why you hear a lot of women say they prefer working with men and not the other way around. Thats why all male units in the military outperform integrated ones. Too much drama. We men have a basic understanding. People are out for themselves and dont trust everybody. It has nothing to do with gender. We just find our people and stick with them. Maybe, women bullying other women is not some "patriarchal" thing but its human nature. Dont blame guys for women's shitty behavior. Dont fall for this sisterhood crap. Its not real unless you bonded through experiences. Its funny in the military we might not like each other, we might disagree but our actual brotherhood prevents us from abandoning our brother in a firefight. Not because we are men but because of the pain and suffering we both went through. Its why men can get in a fist fight and shake hands after. Women can't do that at all. How about instead of focusing on the gender. Find commonality amongst people that bind you and uplift them. Stop acting like women are angels and if they aren't its because of the patriarchy. Lol with that mind set, you are probably someone who gets manipulated by other women because they play on your emotions by saying we should stick together because we are women despite her being a terrible person. Thats literally what Hillary Clinton did. Vote for me because I am a women.
@@sergioalvarez1919 you think there is no connection between power and gender in ou current societal structure? I also encourage you to read your comment back to see how contradictory it is.
@@sergioalvarez1919 men compete and gossip; ive talked to to them...or rather they have vented to me
I agree. You're right. I have often felt sorry for her. But I definitely won't take her crap. I try my best to ignore her. I won't be mean back but I'm definitely not going to talk to her when she pretends everything between us is just fine. I will only speak to her about the job.
Same, and fortunately for me... my job has very little to do with any of theirs.
This is interesting. There is a women I am currently working with that fits this description. She has managed to hurt several people. I steer clear of her.
I just press charges on my female coworker cause she stole my credit card information and now I will make restraining order on her...
With all due respect, this probably has to do with ego and to the same extend self-esteem. I have seen the mean girl at work, and she does not work there anymore! eventually, every group does get tired of nastiness, gossip, pettiness, etc. because of all that is draining. To this mean girl, once that element is not fed, she will become bored, starved of negativity, and she would leave hopefully on her own. It was truly not much of a loss.
Meangirls usually have a posse though right?
They assassinate reputation and mob the target
@@bushrawaqar5772 nursing
The Heather's from high school become the Karen's in the office.
I can her Patty because Karen's have been picked in so much 🙃
for a gender seeking gender equality, females are often seen putting down other females. rare for me to encounter a female who is supportive of another.
I gave my mean co-worker kindness and support and she took what I gave and got worse.
They usual do get worse. That Jezebel spirit within them gets highly restless and agitated. Do not engage or go near them unless they are a supervisor and you have to.
@@deerene thank you! She sits right next to me so I’m doing my best. Don’t say much more than good morning or address work questions. As soon as a transfer opportunity comes up I’m bailing.
I don't want to see the mean girl fired, just keep her away from me.
I understand this
I am dealing someone who is a mean girl at work. I hate the way it makes me. That a month ago we had a heated argument over something that we don't talk to other each now. It things uncomfortable. I can't stand it!! I trying to do my job. Okay maybe some mistakes were made along the way between me and her. But didn't want things to get this bad. Well it did. I sometimes wish I didn't do certain things to work that maybe wouldn't sparked the argument in the first place. I am not sure who to talk to about the situation or who to trust. I feel like I don't want to work anymore. I wish the whole situation was different.
Jennifer, I’ve worked in mixed environments for over 30 years. With the exceptions of things that take place in the restroom/doctor’s office, ever single problem that women have, men have too. I’ve known men who were passed over for promotion so many times, you felt a breeze as they walked by. I’ve known a lot of mean women in the workplace. I somehow doubt it’s because of internalized misogyny.
I don't care what the reason is behind their toxic behavior. They know exactly what they're doing.
Jennifer I am currently in this position. There’s a really mean girl on my team. Everyone who have ever worked with her left the company! She’s kinda my bosses favorite. She wants even done her way. Hell NO!!!!
What a beautiful summary of workplace bullying at work. Personally I ask each team member to compliment each other at weekly meetings just to give opportunities to make up for misunderstandings or to show gratitudes for other co-workers. My department- HR needs massive team bonding and seems to be working really well. Workplace is no different from child bearing as we tend to show positive behaviours. From my experiences, mean girls will eventually soften up as they are recognised by other people and I have more chances to provide pay rise for the team with positivity.
Everything about this 👏👏👏
We truly rise by lifting others. I love how you consciously and intentionally praise everyone and reward positive behavior. It inspires people to be their best.
Thank you so much for sharing this, I know it will spark action in others who read it.
And thank you for growing the conversation here.
What about Petty Betty? She has much less to do with the patriarchy and much more to do with immaturity. An adult workplace shouldn’t feel like a high school cafeteria, patriarchy or not. Seems like this video is much more about trendy buzz words than the reality of immature small minded humans. A mean girl isn’t inherently “bias” or “unenlitented”- sometimes they’re just shitty people.
This is an issue I always have faced at work. At any work place there were a couple of girls who show hatred, tried to set me up, or ignored my presence from day one! I always kept being nice, respectful, or giving them compliment trying to namely as you said "uplifting eachother". However, the nicer I was with her, the more arrogant and mean she became. The sad part is that these girls are always the senior ones who are not welcoming to a new female getting onboard. They have the influence, power and colleague friend circle to tear her down. I have tried to stay away or try to ignore. However, this would make it works too. Some women do not like other women from day ine without knowing them! Specially is you are an attractive woman, you get men attention and kindness at work the situation gets really bad. If she sees you talking with a male collage, she developed more jalousy. Idk why I myself never felt that kinda threatening feeling about other women even if they are prettier, more successful or richer. Idk why some women get threatened by other women easily and try to set them up to make them trouble. I always seek for some advices how to deal with this.
He’s what I can’t get anyone to shed light on this for me, or make it make sense.
I’m overweight. That’s 1. Now I haven’t always been overweight but I am now. I’m convinced that no woman can be jealous of you if your fat. It’s not humanly possible. Keeping that in mind why would another fat girl be hateful to me? 🤔 I’m fat. She’s fat. She has a bf that doesn’t work with us. I’m single. I don’t have any friends. And I prefer it that way. She has everyone wrapped around her finger. She has turned everyone against me. She smiles in my face and talks about me behind my back. Which I go I along with. Because I don’t care. And she’s still not happy. What gives. She doesn’t respect boundaries either. Her daughter has behavioral problems at school and it’s always the other kids fault 😐 what is her problem with me when I stays in my lane
Don’t worry about her she's probably jealous of your work skill, try to ignore her hate and just do you. Best of luck I hope your doing well. 😊
Her problem with you is that you don't care! Haha... I don't care either and it's got them "pressed." I'm also single and fat... but I love myself "as is" and I generally don't seek outside validation. This drives them all mad because they're all so insecure and everything they do is for attention. They spend a lot of time working out, dieting and resort to plastic surgery to make themselves feel "good enough." I know that I'm good enough "as is." Don't get me wrong, I'm not against anyone doing any of these things. I'm all about: Do whatever makes YOU happy. However; when they start taking sh** about how I color my hair "unnatural" colors, rock an undercut pixie haircut, and wear all black...(This was brought up in a meeting with HR) they need to put the focus back on themselves. Yeah, I don't look like you, and so what?? I don't want to look like YOU. (I want to look like ME) I only compete with myself. (I don't compete with other women) I like my job. (I don't want your job) I like being single. (I don't want your man) I don't sh** where I eat (I don't date anyone that works for the same company in ANY department) In other words, I'm "different" and that's not okay (in their eyes)
I've worked with many mean girls in the workplace... Mean guys too... They destroy the team environment... It seems to be a form of jealousy... You hit the nail on the head when you said beliefs... Many have bad beliefs which creates bad outcomes... Thank you for this video...
I literally typed "How to deal with mean girls at work" into my search bar, and this was the first video that popped up. Thank you for sharing this!
Thank you for bringing intersectionality conversation into this as well.
I Am So Incredibly grateful this topic was raised Jennifer! More often than not I had jobs ruined because when I spoke up it was either blamed on me and/or the mean girl lied to get out of not facing up to it.
Therefore my resume isn’t showing how long I would have been at a job nearly as often as I had to leave due to horrible toxicity and the male bosses didn’t do a damn thing about it
What does patriarchy have to do with this? Mean people could be everyone, men or women, doesn't mean if they are woke or ultra conservative. It is about their bad behavior and personality not about their believes. And being nice to people like this will just reinforce them to continue acting the same. The only exception I would make is if that mean person is my boss. But in that case I would leave that place as soon as possible.
Agreed. People are shitty for the sake of being shitty, plus it’s not our responsibility to make excuses for their behavior
I love your videos, but your view of bullying might be skewed by the fact that you've worked with mostly men. I've worked in both types of environments, and for the most part, male-dominated industries seem to have less bullying.
Male bosses (in my experience) seem to be more straightforward and less passive aggressive. I can respect that.
I'm a guy and in my group,a girl was choosen to be our boss but I never saw her as one.She might seemed nice on the outside and doesn't want to get any problem but inside she's really mean.Everytime there's an issue about her,she always act innocent like she doesn't know anything about it and blames all that to me,and that cause me to get conflicts with our superiours.She has been blaming constantly one of my younger friends for little things she would also do,sometimes even worse too.She harrases him because he's younger than us,can't defend himself alone,not very smart and usually doesn't know what to do.Instead of helping those who need it,she favours those who are her 'friends',thus making fun of the young ones and not involving me several times.I want her to pay for her toxic behaviour she brings to our group and I'm not the only one thinking it,a lot of people and friends hate her a lot.
It's interesting you open with saying she was promoted to be your boss, but you don't see her as one. Perhaps this is the source of the conflict.
@@JenniferBrick yeah somehow,basically I don't see her as my boss because she hasn't proven anything,she is inexperienced compared to me and what I've learned, and she always ignored me especially when I had something to say.When she was choosen to be in charge,I thought she would bring maturity and a positive authority but she did worse.She is also narcissistic and her behaviour is unbearable for everyone except the real bosses.
@Silver & Cold the issue is not that it's a woman who is my boss,I'm totally fine with that.the issue is her lack of trust,reliability and actual experience and that is clearly noticed in her words and behaviour.but now that I'm the boss for the year I'll just avoid any discrimination and try to behave myself too.
@Silver & Cold ???? Where did you get that from? I’d like to know, please.
I completely ignore the behaviour, I don't care. It only matters if she's your boss. I also never talk about what people wear or look like.
Jennifer, you are correct, just like Lazy Chad is typically a man, there are still mean girls at work, and you are good to call them out. The bad thing about these mean girls, they make nice people fearful of her and they tend to go along with her, even though they know she is doing the wrong things. I have a "friend" that has a mean girl in management, who will actually lie in emails and somehow she gets away with that.
Very well said! I work in healthcare and found that the nearest women are the ones in their mid to late fifties or sixties. I’ve asking seen them criticize men and play victim based on being a woman, while bullying the younger women at work.
The mean girl wants to say what I did wrong. Do think it's rivalry. When I am not trying to upsale her. Omg. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Same! One of the mean girls I encountered at work would always point out my mistakes when she could but she would always lie and cover her own mistakes....
I been a victim of bulling at work by Patriarchy Patty. I am what you call a male Autistic Professional who struggle with a social disability. Being a male worker in a dominating female corporate culture I been mocked and talked about in a toxic way. I recently developed tick called stimming and when I talk to people my arms would get ridged but only when I get social stressed. Long story short cause of my visible disability I been a victim of passive aggressive bullying from female workers. I recently been told by a friend at work that they are secretly trying to fire me cause I am not so called 'culturally compatible'. I work in IT so I help them with there IT issue and through the grape vine I heard they are intentionally not issue ticket to fix there computers needs so they can have an excuse to get rid of me, you know to create a mock poor performance. I guess it doesn't matter if your a man or woman, cruelty is an equal opportunist.
Mean Girls at my former work needed to be yelled at by the customers because their attitudes were against company policy, which customer service was first and foremost important without exceptions. So many mean girls got away with it unfortunately, and I was personally disgusted the my former employers didn't go by their own policies and went by their own agenda. If they got fired, they deserve the walk of shame treatment which meant being escorted out by security in full view of customers and employees.
I always worked in customer facing roles, it's an enormous responsibility to be there face of the company. It's unfortunate when people accept that responsibility and impact client experience.
Thanks for raising this. I greatly appreciate everything you contribute on these videos 🥰
@@JenniferBrick thank you, and I'm always willing to contribute anything. I've lived through a lot of the points you have raised in your videos (ea-workplace gossip, coworkers are not your friends, and other points). I also feel that workplace conditions will never get better, no matter how much we all fight to make a difference.
I think our collective efforts make a difference. Each positive ask eventually inspires another and it snowballs.
If I'm wrong, we at least can say we tried.
Hierarchies create a breeding ground for workplace bullying.
I keep nails in my pocket; mean girls get nails in their tires.
I ignore these hos who bring their daddy issues to a workplace.
I'm working to change because of burn out. It is really really bad especially when the mean stylist at the salon comes to work. She is perpetually passive aggressive to the point where it is so flipping obvious everyone knows shes mad. I'm the receptionist and I have a lot of responsibilities.
Keeping up with them is not without difficulty especially when dealing with the mean coworker. I really try my best and I've been fighting burn out for some time now to the point of being lazy. I really wanted to be a stylist. She only makes it worse as she continually nit-picks me. I've tried to be nice to her, I've tried to see the bright side of what she brings to the team. She comes off so cold hearted. She is a dedicated diligent worker. Very driven and very fast paced. Currently working on trying to fight burn out and work harder for her but I don't like working with her.
Well said Jennifer. You mastered how the world and workplace needs to improve in a matter of minutes. Keep up the great videos!
You are helping me so Much. I HAD A GREAT week for the first time in 3 years. Watch all your videos. So glad I found you, life is getting easier. Thank you do much.
Can you do a video on How MEN can survive (mean/toxic) girls at work too? I work with this very attractive girl, that makes my life hell, (im sure a lot of us men have had similar experiences).
She is attracted to another men in work place, (and because she likes him, its okay for him to talk very sexualized, and she will giggle and flirt). Sometimes i feel left out of the convo, so I made an effort, to try and get involved in conversation (dont want to be a weirdo that doesnt talk)..
BUT I had a convo about, what do you think about Love island, (something shes talked to other people before) And behind my back, she went and told EVERYONE, including the man that she fancies, how I am a creep, and tried talking to her about love island. (bare in mind, she is happy being involved in conversations A LOT WORSE with other men)
What do I do? I feel like now, i can't talk to her as she has gone too far... but then if i don't talk to her at all, i will look like a weirdo, that has no social skills!!! Someone please help!! I just want an easy life!!
Just ignore her, focus on your work....just talk to her about work normal conversation about work, just ignore her or else it will ruined your life
I think both men and women have equal capability for evil and good.
I agree, eventhough it's expressed in different ways.
work food service and you will see this on a whole new level
My current experience at CFA. I’m an introvert and a very sensitive person. I’m 28 I’ve lived some life so I know how it goes. I know how to control my emotions and I know how to be professional. But I’m also shy. My jobs have always been office jobs up to now, at CFA, And this girl just hated me from day one. She’s the star there for some reason everyone loves her. She’s 22. Her favorite saying is I’m a Bitch. Says a lot. But then she’s nice and then mean and then nice and then mean. And it seems psychotic to me. And my sensitive mind can’t handle this any longer. I JUST left a job of three years because of a boss like this. You think retail is better?
@@ashtrik3798 i actually had a gm like that at a Arby's she even had her friends join in to try to harass me left after 2 or 3 weeks on April fools day so you aren't crazy as you lasted longer then I ever could and honestly as a Inrovert co workers like that is why I'm scared of retail along with customers but ever since I've started working as a dishwasher ya there's still bullshit involved but you have alot more leverage as almost no one wants to wash dishes and as the dishwasher you single handely hold the keys to ether single handely keep the place running smoothly or back it up people know that so the smart ones respect you the dumb ones piss you off into making you want to let the dishes pile up and walk out
I agree, the restaurant I worked at was a magnet and breeding ground for these mean girl types.
I love this video. I am actually going through a situation like this and it is very hard at times, but I grew up with parents who always told me to, “kill ‘em with kindness” even when it is hard, I TRY my BEST to stick to that!
Thank you for the insightful strategies! It's refreshing to see realistic advice on dealing with mean girls at the office. Unfortunately, they will always be around, but your tips make it easier to handle them professionally.
I have no problem empathizing that they feel too competitive or threatened for whatever reason but I feel like it bothers them that I am happy and positive? I really don’t understand that. I always start a new job feeling very positive towards everyone so I really don’t understand why these women target me. I have no problem with their authority
This is great but can you gives us the "how" in dealing with those type of girls. Sometimes a person is not able to isolate from them if its their boss. Please help!
Hi Lovely, my experience is to insulate yourself as much as possible, keep discussions professional and short, never argue with them. The best thing to do though is to leave and find a healthy workplace. You can’t win with these narcissistic bosses.
I have a "mean girl" boss too. I'm really using the term "girl" loosely here! I'll admit I've put up with a lot of disrespectful behavior from her. She likes to yell at me, criticize my performance in front of my coworkers... use her body language, tone of voice and facial expressions to intimidate... but I know, in reality her bark is worse than her bite. I know it would be best for me to get another job... but how do I know if the working conditions will be any better somewhere else? I've dealt with these types all of my life. I like my job and I have some good benefits at the company that I work for. I'm not giving that up voluntarily unless a better opportunity comes along that I feel sure of.
2:50 It isn't just minority women getting bullied. And sometimes, minority women bully White women in the workplace too.
In zero places in this video did I say it's only minority women bring bullied. White women bully each other too.
Statistically, womxn of color are more likely to be targeted, not the other way around. And womxn of color are more likely to be harmed and further marginalized. Even when white women are the bullied, cultural norms protect them.
Are their exceptions to what is typical and statistically sounds? Yes. Is it okay to try to falsely equivocate those? No.
Not true I’m always bullied by blacks lol
Yes they do!!
It's the person, not the ethnicity, gender, or age.
Probably bc you’re racist
Mean women/girls don’t just hurt other women, they attack men as well
I am SO sick and tired of the narrative that we need to be nice to bullies because they're insecure. Besides psychology research debunking this myth, every single one of us has had hard times, low self-worth, and internalized misogyny if we're women, yet if it's only a small percentage who can't get it together, then that points to a substantial deficiency in them that needs to be dealt with swiftly so it doesn't infect others. I have tried to have empathy for these women and be kind to them in the face of their bullying. That is fuel to the fire. It will destroy the victim's mental health. The primary way to deal with them is to confront them head on. The expert-level way to deal with them once you've had enough experience is to embrace your inner Machiavelli and triangulate others against them. Pretty easy to do if you can cultivate a kind yet firm and professional image. Then it's as simple as "just sharing a concerning observation" with those in the "need to know" category. THAT is how you deal with a mean girl. She wants sympathy? She can find god because she won't get any from me. I've gotten mean girls fired including a former boss when I stopped crying in bathrooms and freezers and started taking back my power. Women are people too and I will only uplift people who are not acting with cruelty and malice.
I liked this video except for the part where I felt excuses were being made for the mean girls. I've been nice, friendly and supportive to those people in the past and still got betrayed. They've caused me to lose jobs, tried to take my boyfriends away and hurt me in other ways. They know exactly what they're doing and they enjoy it.
Thank you. Now I know how to ignore them at work. ❤
I work with a dragon and she is good about getting me in trouble for she complains all the time. I feel like everyone caters to the dragon. I would like to quit but not sure changing work places will be guarantee no dragons will work there or soon to work there. I have to learn how to stop letting the dragon from turning people against me.
I get what this video is doing but I’m a nurse. It’s the culture of nursing. They’re not a small minority in my workplace-they literally teach this in nursing school. Expect to be bullied because nurses eat their young. I work in OB, so many-but certainly not all-of the docs are also women who engage in the mobbing. What do you do when it’s intentional and encouraged? I stay away from my bullies but they seek me out, especially when I’m sitting alone charting.
All of these types basically have an Irma Grese (look her up) inside them waiting to get out. That's the truth we're all in denial of. They may dance to a different tune, they may be wearing different clothes, but she's there alright and she's waiting for the right opportunity. It's not just women they attack. Like all sadistic bullies, they go for weakness or difference and they'll pick on an individual. You can't make excuses for them or try to be nice, you've got to stand up for yourself.
Women, claim your place.
I used to work at a bakery with mostly women. At that point. I used to work at Target and most of the women there were AMAZING. Not all of them, but the ones I talk to often I LOVED. I would marry some of them lol. This is coming from a Gay man 2. Anyways, I start this new job at a bakery. Theres about 4 women in my section each varying in age from about 50 to 23. I was 21 at the time. I don't know why I didn't leave earlier and go back to Target, but the youngest one. The shortest one. Was the worst! I hated her. I even feared her because she had so much bad energy. She yelled at me once but I kinda regret not giving her a piece of my mind. Thing is it was during when I was going through a mental and emotional spiral, but I hated the way I was treated by her. I stayed quite for the most part, but I still felt like they mostly did not like me. Especially 3 of them who would give me the cold shoulder and what not. I just wish I could give them that energy back. It totally know how I would and should have responded which was to just leave the first day and never went back. I lasted about 3 months until I got fired lol and jumped to another job. Though, that experience with kind of put me on the defensive with coworkers now and maybe til years to come. I've always been a people pleaser. Less than before, but I just want to trust people again. I think people like her who are very passive aggressive are just very insecure obviously.
I am supervising (new to this supervisory role) a ‘Patty’ and her target is a friend of mine. It’s a difficult position for me. I have attempted a few techniques without success and I am unsure what to do next.
Report the patty. Its that simpl
The female I work with she has tried to make me look like I don’t know how to do my job, setting me up to fail and when confronted on all this, there has been females she had to train quite cause they could not handle how rude she was, not wanting to share information to them to learn there job. They had to remove her from one new person cause that person was going to leave cause she could not handle how badly she was being treated. She lies and never takes responsibility for her actions nor the work she does not do puts the blame on others. She gets along with the males. I think she has very low self esteem of herself
I have said did I do something wrong. Can we try to fix this? Nothing.
I work with the formerly incarcerated.. your advise isn’t helpful
Her advice isn’t helpful to me at all either
I am looking for help as I am working in a all girls team here and currently my reputation got burnt to the ground and one of them tries to burn my reputation to the ground so much so that I don't have lunch with them.
I tried to finish the video. Being a guy, while watching the video, I feel like I am back in my work team. Welp!
I wish you'd stop promoting woke politics because the headlines you post are relevant
What about the workplace bullies where I keep a positive bubble and no matter what, they find something to prey on. They will purposefully like every single person’s messages on our Teams chat, except for mine. When the company is celebrating something big for me in Teams, they don’t even acknowledge it but if it’s them, I celebrate like I do for everyone. I just don’t understand why they hate me so much. I’m very open with my boss about this, and she says it’s because they aren’t performing like I am. But there’s people way above me and I celebrate all of their wins, because we are ONE TEAM. It is so draining and toxic and makes me want to leave the company, or relocate and have to move my husband and 2 small children. It’s draining, and I’ve dealt with it for 2 years. I’m to the point where I no longer want to participate in Teams celebrations chat because it’s hurtful.
This is very helpful but your talking too much.. people are in need and it would help if you got straight to the point so we can know what to do when we are being stomped on by other women. Enough is enough
I stopped watching when she brought up Kendi’s book 🙄
Yes, I have two of them,always trying to get me in trouble,I just don't bite for them I go to work do my job,and go home
i thought she could be a sincere friend, but reality is not. I’m kinda sad ‘cause she is one of my first colleague at work.
This is happening all the time. I have had to deal with this my whole career.
I am willing to let it go
I put nails in their tires. Karma.
Don’t threaten me with a good time 😏
Wish I could send this to a couple of people....
Somehow it's always mens fault...
I have a mean lady at my work, and man she does knows what she is doing. There is a differnece between being mean and single out a person in your team to make her loom like she is trash and unskilled. They know
Always nice to people even if they’re mean. It gets old after a while if they continue to shit on you. What gives?
Doesn't matter! They're mean and they are hurting people. Also, when the mean girl is your boss, you're totally F****. In my experience, they will do whatever they can, because you became a target for them.
Is it just me noticing Survive is misspelled ? Or am i the mean girl? 😅
I just let KARMA handle it and karma does a BEAUTIFUL JOB EVERY SINGLE TIME
I want a video on how others pwrceive you because you lift others up (like how you mentioned in this video)