I hear you, Liam. But jokes can be testers to see what is appropriate- belittle the sad reality violence at work, which is a very real threat for many, including some of the community members who watch.
thats why you just learn your job inside and out stay on top of it and always, always have your resume up to date. Trust No one at work they are NOT your friends!!
Not the most useful advice. It is often the MOST competent people that are picked on and having your resume up to date will not help you because A] your workplace will keep you at work way outside of 'normal' hours and they will ensure that you can not take holiday when you want it, so that it is difficult to attend interviews. and B] they will give you a dreadful reference to ensure that no one wants to hire you.
@@banana9106Well that is your opinion You dont have to stay in a hostile work environment and you don't have to use them as a reference either. Everyone knows that. I was at my last job five years ended acrimoniously and did not use them as a reference. I am doing much better and making more. Also why are working outside of 8-hrs if you not getting g paid?
As an adult in the workplace, I have experienced bullying far, far more than I ever had as a child or teen. The worst of it was from other women. By far.
While I’ve have both wonderful men and women managers. ONLY women have tried bullying me as well and it’s in the worst way, they were all so extremely loud, disgruntled, and bitter. It’s crazy. Have some grace and class as a woman in charge, you’d think. I always say those are people who are the most pathetic in real life.
@@NM-do7he it's even worse if you're a guy bullied by women. they have influence over the workplace socially and more skilled socially. You'll never be considered management material if you complain about bullying.
That is a very good point on how complaining could make you seem less manager material but one thing in the end you wouldn’t want to stick around with a company who allows it anyway! Ppl with moral are better than this and I say Always look for more don’t settle for disrespect. There were many times I stayed quiet till I complained and it caused drama and was brought up more than once in meetings after that but I truly did not give a shit I was satisfied it was addressed weather they liked it or not lol
@@banana9106 yep! Exactly! It’s easier for them to fire the person who is the victim rather than fire the asshole who harasses you. They’d rather have douchebags work and not ever be sad then have nice good customer service people
I have to believe that companies actually like managers that bully. They see the victim/ target as a problem and make an example out of them to keep others in line. If getting out is possible then do it, but toxicity is everywhere.
I work in HR, brought an investigation against a toxic, narcissistic Vice President in august. It was determined that “no policies were broken” however they were. She threatened me (while being recorded) with insubordination for copying her boss after 4 prior emails that were ignored. She cursed, she yelled and she told me that I would not be considered for the director role bc of copying her boss. I was also told that her boss laughed when he saw that he was copied, and that he would be happy to meet with me to confirm the same (ie: how ABSURD it was that I copied him). Long story short, this woman has been gunning for me since the first day this investigation was opened. I was told to leave and collect severance last night, by my new boss (the VP’s best friend). I don’t have a legal leg to stand on but damn I’m pissed I’m going out this way. Our employees hate the VP, she’s a toxic mess, yet here I am… having to make the decision to exit stage left.
@@savvybuildsI agree. My ward has two extremely nasty ones. They have been there for 20 years+ and bully everyone, they target new nurses as they get an ego boost from it. Everyone is too scared to report them as they will be targeted even more
Just find their flaws and then keep on digging and digging and digging until you break them down. That's all you can do. You need to make it so painful that they can't do it anymore. I have a huge dick. Just read. And I get a bunch of whiny babies talking about how they see my bulge and it makes them uncomfortable. And I said well, I think it's kind of unprofessional that you're talking about my dick like that. Just stop looking at it. You have your ass sticking out in your tight ass clothes, so what about that? Oh it's different so on so forth is what the women say. I say well no it's not different I have a big dick that is 6 inches around soft. That's a well above the average girth of an erect penis. And that's what I said and I said so there's nothing I can do about it. I'm not going to wear uncomfortable clothing to satisfy your inability to look away. And of course, they keep on going on and on and on and then, because it's a restaurant, I can get away with the following. I then say it seems like you really want my dick huh? I mean, if you want to go to the bathroom and get railed out real quick, just let me know. Otherwise if it makes you sick, just don't look at it. It's very simple concept. And so up until recently, they were going on about my dick bulge in my pants. Eventually though, it got so painful for them to bring it up that they simply don't bring it up anymore. I just take it as a compliment because they're hot as shit. I don't say anything sexual until you start talking about my dick. Then all bets are off. I had a fat co-worker that came up to me and like to annoy me at work. I told him to please leave me alone multiple times. He chose not to so I then started calling him fat ass and fat fuck whenever I addressed him until he started crying and walked away. Make it painful. Pain is the key to learning. Life lessons are not made to be cushy and sweet. That's why prison is made the way it's made. Because it's meant to punish you so that you find the consequences so unbearable that you don't commit those crimes anymore. And if you don't learn, then you just rot in prison until you're too old to move or until you go out in a body bag. All you have to do, if you want to avoid prison is stop breaking the lawn victimizing people. You don't want to be humiliated at work? Stop trying to humiliate other people. That's all you have to do. I also have refused to help any woman who has said one negative thing to me that wasn't because of a shitty job performance in the moment or whatever. You need me to pick something up for you? Good luck. Not my job. You need me to help you move a table? Not my job. You fucked up. End of discussion. Punishment. Pain. Agony. Those are the only things that bullies respond to. Now you can't beat the hell out of them and then rip their teeth out with pliers. You can't shoot people. But what you can do is the merciless and cause them as much mental anguish and agony as possible and then you say I'm willing to stop if you're willing to stop. Just stop being an asshole. Punish, cause pain, cause agony mentally and then extend an olive branch every time. Just like the Palestine israeli war. Palestine came in and raped and murdered children, men, and women. In one case they literally beheaded a man in front of his family, put a baby in an oven and then raped the woman who was right next to the oven hearing her baby scream, and then beheaded her all on video. What's happening now? Gaza is being carpet bombed. And rightfully so. Thomas wants to act like barbarians? And the general populace wants to attack Israeli hostages that were brought back to Gaza from the initial invasion of the music festival? Cool. Well then you can get carpet bombed and all of you can die. Do you start something? You better be fucking prepared to finish it. Pain, punishment, agony. That is how you deal with bullies. I'm going to go back into work tomorrow and if the guy who was talking shit continues talking shit after I warned him, I knew exactly what to say that will make him either cry or attack me in which case he's going to feel real physical pain, real physical punishment, and real physical agony. And I'll be able to do that because it's self-defense. All he would have had to do is shut up. Because I've never said anything mean to him at all. You can take my advice or not. It's your choice. But just remember cause as much mental pain and agony as possible if diplomacy doesn't work. Otherwise you're going to be a victim until you leave your job or your neighborhood or whatever is going on with you. Good luck
I am a polish woman living abroad. I struggle with anxiety because I had experienced so much bullying in the work that I had to google it. I found this video and I started to cry when the first example showed up. I consider myself as a kind and friendly person. Never snitched on anyone... but clearly ppl have problem with me, because it's very easy to build up theirs ego on somebody's who strange n weak. Keep your heads up folks!
I can return back the bullying to them. But I rather ask them if they are ok? If they need any emotional support or need someone to talk too, make them feel stupid without them realizing that you are playing with there intelligence. Trust me, you would catch them off guard when you use a different tactic with a calm voice.
This sounds just like I could have written it. My story exactly right now. I’ve only been there five months and the bully is the woman that’s supposed to have trained me. But the “training” was inadequate (purposefully, I believe) so now she berates me over every tiny thing. Things that don’t affect the work, but is just not the exact way she would do it so…she either is giving me the silent treatment and not speaking to me at all and won’t answer a question if I ask but just stares at me or she berating, belittling, and insulting me. I prefer the silent treatment but this is all just so stupid. We are grown women, ffs. I’ve done my best to keep my mouth shut but I’m afraid before the week is out I’m going to boil over. I can’t take it anymore. I cannot learn when she’s doing that because I’m so angry! The job pays well and I’m a single mom with a mortgage so I need it but I feel like I’m going to lose it or have a heart attack from holding my temper and just taking her crap. I hope things have gotten better for you. As for me, looks like I’ll probably be job hunting again. Already have been, actually. I see the writing on the wall.
@@cassietherainbowsend722 I'm dealing with this now, how do you get over that? when get frustrated I'll cry I kind of of block myself out for a min before things go left. I also I struggle with bad anxiety even if I want to point my foot down I'll can't.
So.., I'm new to the work place I'm dealing with another manger whos always seem to bully me even go as far as belittling me keep you in mind I'm new to the whole hotel industry and still learning since I'll didn't even get good training. she had yelled at me bc one of my main manger told me to throw away the food which I did even know when I'll work with her she dose the same thing as well . others mangers do to when she got so upset when she had realize their was no food left over from the smallest things even. Somehow..., the front desk manger had gotten involved and made the situation. I felt like they had double team up on me since I'm new I even went to go tell the general manager who's seen everyone she just didn't even care what I needed to said so I 'll just break down. at the same time general manager. "if their something going on between ya'll meaning the co workers you can tell me ". ever meeting that we're have. I feel like every time I'll it's always a bad timing with her .
@@cassietherainbowsend722 wow.. your sorry is exactly like mine. Why she does that? Because she sees you as a threat. But ignore as much as you can. I know your work will be jeopardized next to a person like that. My sincere suggestion would be find another team asap. HR won’t help too much.
I'm currently being bullied at work, The catty women are smearing my name and making up lies about me to try and control how other's see me. They are Insecure, Jealous and harassing me
Keep in mind they mean nothing. They’re jealous of something about you. That being said document everything especially anything that impacts your authority or productivity at work.
I have been bullied for 5 yrs now 1 year away from retiring.I pray and speak psalms out of the bible for enemies.God wins my battles. I had at one point 20 people men n women against me.God scattered my enemies in different ways! Now I am counting down my last year.
Sometimes these people have already planned for your demise. If they are in charge they set you up to be a scapegoat, they will discredit you, and then discard you if you are seeking fairness and justice. Especially when they have personal ties, such as nepotism, with the work place.
That’s so me …. I feel like they gangstalk my demise ….. every fucking job …. There so fucking evil … it’s like they just can’t wait to take my target ass out right away …. I say fight me for it . Tough guy
Being a scapegoat is OK. Just accept any blame, and never blame others. Other workers know what is going on. The blame won't stick. The bully will often be ordered to say sorry. If they do, just say "you don't mean it, do you?". The response will be "nah".
Going through this now, worked here for years and this new manager is lying and making up write ups for me that NEVER happened. He is completely lying and he is setting me up to be fired bc he doesn’t like me and sees me as a threat. I’m so upset about it
and the medical back office. I was a records clerk and had to leave bc the environment was extremely toxic. Everyone targeted everyone and I felt like I was in the middle of a battlefield 🤯 I left for an office job in a different industry. There's still bullying but its not even close to what I experienced prior. 😒
As a male working in manufacturing, trust me when you get up from that lunch table the second you’re out of ears range they are talking crap about you. No offence but women make great fake friends
Most of upper levels tend to ignore the problems,the more you talk about it complain about it sooner or later yourself will become a problem…… sad but true….
@@genxx2724. Or in some cases v for bringing them a problem that they are already “in on” and are supporting. They don’t want to be held accountable. They just gaslight and blame shift.
There’s one thing my dad once told me about bullies that works and that I’ve never forgotten. When confronting a bully, look him (or her) in the eye and calmly say what you need to say. If you’re a little intimidated, afraid or whatever, do it anyway. The bully will not see that you’re quaking in your boots. They will only see your strength, and the whole experience will give you confidence.
They pretend to be so nice when confronted and avoid owning up to their attacks. They'll make excuses and you don't believe any of it because they're actually a bully.
Oh my god this is so right. Even when they’re bullying you, they have this weird even tone voice, while making condescending, snide and reprimanding remarks with an eerie smile on their face.
@@ivybichon8582 Yeah absolutely - very subtle and I feel it's definitely our duty to "know thy self" as much as possible, respecting how our current life is indeed affecting us and always sharpening and personally designing as much as we can with some journaling / affirmations / goals - little bit every morning and evening I feel. Bullies have a deep void and leech on the energy of others but the real empowerment is from within to surround with healthier people with greater exploration of real opportunities for the daily routines, daily work. Something I've been thinking more about lately to have more choice in these matters - tolerating bullies for too long is still often perhaps overlooking other healthier opportunities in life. Setting boundaries helps, but we can't really change a toxic person either and there's certainly a limit before it just eats at us too much, regardless of highly effective boundaries. Maybe a voice inside thinking "what matters more and how can I work towards it?" Goals and dreams engaged bring a sense of life.
@@JimmyJaxJellyStax I appreciate your words of kindness, and sharing the strategies to have gotten you through a similar experience. I thought it said these boundaries early on by putting her on notice of her behavior with human resources in my supervisor present. However, she’s been relentless. But I do blame my supervisor as he started gaslighting me about my reality. Today’s the first day I stepped out of the house in two weeks
Honestly, at some places, it's better to give up and just fall back into mediocrity. Even the lawyers informed me that they knew about the workplace's reputation and that there is not a whole lot that could be done with them. The high leadership downplays the complaints openly, which gave the bullies and toxic ones the green light, and the workplace culture suffered as a result. Some places, are beyond redemption and you just need to escape, like NOW.
As a female minority for me I definitely find it to be other women in the workforce who bully others. I just recently started a new job about 2 months ago and because I'm not fast enough on learning what I need to do for my role, I'm being harrassed and bullied. My boss actually made me cry. And my morale has already dropped. How do they expect for me to be confident in my work and what I'm doing when they're saying the most harsh things? And they have the absolute nerve to call it constructive criticism. 🙄 But my boss is actually leaving her job and her last day in 2 more weeks. Her golden work child is throwing her a goodbye party and I want nothing to do with it honestly.
Sometimes they withhold training. Or half train so they can say they trained you but then throw constant criticism at you while you wonder if you're really dumb or have early dementia.
I have a perfect solution to deal with a bully at work. Basically, I would bring my phone to an expected interaction, and I would start an audio recording, and let them know that I am audio recording! Promise, promise, Promise! this will curve the behavior.
Imma try that too. Tomorrow. Or actually later today as it’s after midnight and I don’t want to go to bed because then morning comes faster and I dread every day so much.
I'm going through the same thing.. The only thing you can do is seriously bring headphones to work and ignore it if you can.. that really gets to them. It's nothing you've done wrong.. I know it's hard but they may just be trying to get you to quit. Don't come down to their level. :)
Don't stick around and put up with that. Their abuse is gonna damage you, not them.. There's bullying everywhere but everyplace has a different dynamic. Ask yourself if you're willing to put up with it next month? next year? 5 years from now? If not, find a place with a dynamic that you can reasonably put up with, and never listen to anyone who tells you to "just ignore it" because if it was that simple, you wouldn't be on here. Good luck to you 🍀
My boss was a bully. He used to take his stress out on me. He would throw temper tantrums and embarrass me in front of everyone. I had a really thick skin and just ignored him. Over the years, it really got me. I have high blood pressure and anxiety 😔. One day he was really angry and started screaming at me accusing me of doing nothing all day in front of an office full of people. He then went a step further and threw papers in his office at my direction. He then went into his colleague's office and closed the door. While he was in there, I picked up my handbag, put my coat on and walked out. He realized that I walked out and kept calling me to come back to work. After 22 years, I have had enough and told him NO! I figure that since I do nothing all day, there's no point for me to be there. He begged and pleaded for me to come back because he can't run that office without me. I said NO. Then he had his wife contact me and plead for me to come back. I said NO. I found another job and I am NEVER going back. The lesson for him is that when you abuse your staff who is running your business, you shoot the golden goose. Not my problem. I will never put up with that behavior again!
I experienced the same thing working at a grocery store. I started off with working at the meat department, the people there did not treat me well, so I asked the store director to let me move to cashier position. Everyone at the store was surprised that I switched positions. The people at the meat department say they are starting to miss me & want me back. I said no.
That happens to me before back in year 2012 he keep bullying me until I lost my respect to him and guess what happens he just leave me alone because I already know that everyone hates him that why it leads me to ignoring him guess what happen he become nice to me because he knew that nobody is on hes side anymore well it’s to late now he push me forward to change and he’s position as a boss has nothing to do about me anymore because I show him that everything is all about respect
90% of bullies I have seen were women, bullying other women and some men. Women of all age groups are most often the bullies. The men in my work life have been supportive and respectful. I am a woman with a lifelong work history.
In my experience the worst bullies tend to be older women that have worked the same job their entire life. The seem to take a strong disliking to the younger women, and any men that don’t stand up for themselves.
Spot on. I am currently suffering immensely from bullying at work. Sadly, I have been talking about it to management no concrete action taken it’s only victim blaming and retribution is unbearable ie. pick on your work, isolating you at work, using other staff against you, weaponising complaints from clients no matter how pathetic that may be, damaging your reference and getting stuck at same position over 12 yrs, spreading rumours against you etc.
Oh no ☹️ Do you have friends outside the organization? This job doesn't have to be ur only reference. And sometimes references aren't even the most important thing? It's always possible to catch a break from just knowing someone or taking part in a different project somewhere else. Wishing you the best 🙏
I have it the same, unfortunately I even had concequences such as loss of bonus because of the words my colleagues spread, my manager has no proof but still continues to believe them to possibly kick me out of my work
Sometimes people are very jealous/insecure about issues they're facing in life and it causes them to harass coworkers. I need a new occupation. I just stick out with my job though because I need the money.
I can see why people don't want to go back to work. No one should go thru this no one should have to keep finding jobs because of bullies. Bullies should be the ones made to leave for distraction of hard workers.
Exactly!! As a matter of fact narc management likes to sling mud (figuratively) in your face and then “rub it in” and say “There, you BETTER put up with our bad behavior and you’re wrong for complaining”. That’s truly a sick mentality.
I just ignore them and look she leave me alone because I’m not the only one person who hates her even everyone else hates her so I’m not so worry about that bully from my workplace she knew that she is alone
I often find that for me it is the women who bully others at work. I work in healthcare and the hospitality/tourism industry. I tell you, housekeeping ladies, especially the older ones are quite the serious bullies!
Girl. I'm tearing through these videos. I'm experiencing everything you talk about re: toxic boss and toxic workplaces. I love my job and work so I'm holding on hope to find a way to figure this out, while also prepping to launch my own consulting and coaching business so I can totally walk away.
I'm really sorry to hear this happened to you. I know it doesn't help but I'm white and I'm going through the same thing from 2 older white women, I think they are just threatened and deeply unhappy and insecure. Sending love and strength
@Esme gemini I agree with you toxic behavior is like cancer it happens to everyone regardless of race. It comes down to the personality of an individual not race.
@@T_r0525omggg me too. I’ve been having anxiety sleepless night and trying to look for ways to tackle this problem. I don’t even know if I should bring the bullying and micro aggression to manager cus i informed my supervisor but she did nothing about it
I'm a white lady but I've had jobs where I've seen black ppl seem to get talked to all the time until they quit. I'm not sure what's different about me but I 100% see it clear and it happens to me. It's like they all are in a little devil cult and know a way to choose who to try to destroy and surround and swarm this person. Knowing glances lies remarks gossip sabotage withholding info confirming your insecurities as though a friend. I do not see quite clearly but it seems devilish. I don't even know where these people learned this stuff.
I've been bullied at work on top of being the victim of rumors/gossip and even false accusations. My previous job was the only job I've held where I wasn't well-receptive of most of my coworkers. This is a true reality for a lot of people struggling in the workplace and management needs to set an example and contain a toxic workplace. It's still hard to believe that I haven't been part of a workplace in almost 11 months and this gave me plenty of time to overcome the toxic working environment that I dealt with. I wouldn't even know if those people who contributed to the toxic environment are gone because I refused to go anywhere near my previous workplace and don't really bother asking questions about my former workplace if I ran into some of my former coworkers who I could actually trust. It wouldn't surprise me if my previous manager told everyone that I was a bad influence and not talk to me or stop following on social media as blackmail was commonplace at my previous job. Still in search a healthy non-toxic working environment...
Your next opportunity is waiting for you. Getting time to recover from the toxic workplace is crucial - otherwise you walk into your new job with all the baggage. All me how I know 😭🤣
Of course you’re free to contact & ‘network’ socially with anyone you choose whenever you choose. That means whatever social networking you choose with whoever you choose. What you describe is called isolationism. It protects your manager from others finding out the truth and it’s cuts you off from others. However, you’re entitled to maintaining your network. So, go ahead and continue to implement your right to access and foster and develop your network. Don’t let it intimidate you! Even if you find the results of the interaction disappointing, and you’ll have to process those feelings, part of your career or work life is to maintain and develop your networking! Either you’ll be pleasantly surprised and get warm feelings or will feel disappointed but do work on your network skills! They might be happy you touched base with them. Protocol is usually that if you leave, then you initiate the contact. People don’t normally go out of their way to look for you if you’ve left because it’s considered invasive. 😉
Bullying is pervasive & sickening in our nursing field. I wish this was an educational mandatory as part of nursing licensure requirements. Thanks for this content! 🤝
💯! Thank you for echoing this Dr. Jon - it's so important even if it's never actioned. I'd love your perspective as a Career Change expert; have many of your clients been driven to career change as a direct result of bullying they experience at work?
Jennifer Brick I think it’s tough to label what bullying is. Sure there are clear cut cases, but a lot of the minor passive aggressive stuff is just so hard to disentangle in the work place. Sometimes it’s because of a work environment where it’s more cutthroat, sometimes it’s someone having a bad day, sometimes it’s perception, other times it could be different cultural norms.... so for the clients I work with, we make the distinction that you can’t control the action of others and can only handle what’s in your realm of control such as documenting, setting and reinforcing boundaries, etc.
It happens to me like twice a day. After too much work, I have decided to go after my employer for due diligence and failure to take protective measures.
I once dealt with bullies at work.. it's so hard now it gives me PTSD, this one bully is so cruel that i realized one of her friend is actually pretty nice without her, now I'm left dealing with PTSD for the rest my life, i gues being bullied include being gossiped by the whole building and client's company and HR didn't helped u, they will try to kick u out
PTSD isn't for life. It's treatable. My wife did EMDR Trauma Therapy for multiple instances of Workplace Bullying (4 jobs in 3 years!) and is doing a LOT better today.
You can overcome trauma. It is a lot of work but you will learn valuable skills to help yourself for the rest of your life. I also used to believe that I would be affected by PTSD for the rest of my life. My anxiety, depression, and fear eventually began to dissipate when I continually practiced holistic healing methods. A lot of times I felt lost and overwhelmed but I kept searching and trying. I eventually found multiple practices and products that helped me. I don’t feel hopeless anymore and I know if I keep working on myself my life will continue to improve. There were still setbacks but I am much more resilient than I used to be. I know that it’s only up to me to propel myself forward.
No not great I’ve been left with ptsd, depression, anxiety, fear of people I now struggle with drink (I never drunk before 2015 when it all started) I struggle into work every day feeling extremely stressed and mentally exhausted by the time i get home (I still work at the same place) (bully eventually got sacked work place had to take someone else’s complaint seriously) everyone tells me to find another job but my confidence, self esteem etc has been left so low I don’t have the energy, confidence or strength to do this 😓
@@tractorgirl8124I know exactly how you feel 😔I been treated the same way .I been doing kickboxing since 2020 but I still allow others to get under my skin .
@@tractorgirl8124 hope things have gotten better for you and your able to grow from the experience. It can be really draining and i used to get anxiety in the morning when I had to into the office i worked at.
They hate u cause your not like them …. u live positive …. U don’t stay stuck in gangstalker mode all day and night …. U actually live a little life here and that bothers people nowadays
I have always been bullied more by other women in various jobs. It's sick and sad. Like society has become "eat or be eaten". Best is to leave because it doesn't get better. It only gets worse. Consider jobs where you can work alone. Be open minded to change.
Unfortunately I’m dealing with this now. I have only been on the job for 2 weeks. When I first met the workplace “Tyrant”, she greeted me with the following; “Hi, I’m not fake, I’m straight forward, I tell it like it is, blah blah blah”. Anyway, my Supervisor was standing they and continued to let lady talk to me crazy. The 2nd day the coworker came up me saying, “ I’m not trying to make friend.” “I’m not insecure.” I didn’t see the point of any of the negative encounters that I had with her other than her letting me know that she is rude, and obnoxious. I ended up telling her that I’m just here to learn my job, do my job, and go home. I don’t think she got anything that I said. Now she is starting to come up to me and talking about everyone else. And later I see her laughing and talking to the people she bad about. This is so draining.
I was once bullied at work too. I worked in a commission based environment and didn't quite fit the "Bro Mold" you had mentioned. Most of my bullies were what I would call Jersey Shore Wannabes and were obnoxious, undermined my work and prevented me from getting anything done/. I was repeatability told by management that I needed to Ignore it and was blamed for the things happening to me. Even in front of the bullies which only empowered them more. While I had this job, I was severely broke and in poor financial shape at that time and it showed and the bullies often teased me for being poor. I eventually found a new job and was a regular hourly with bonuses so thankfully I was able to get my finances in order but it took years to get back on track financially.
I had a similar problem. I worked in a lab with a really high turnover of staff because of bullying. Myself and a few other people were being effectively mobbed. It was an environment where anyone with more sense then money would not want to dress up, because it is hardly the cleanest environment. One Christmas the boss invited us all out for a curry and then couldn't pay because she had forgotten her credit card and so was asking around the table. One of the bullies, a girl 12 years my junior and nowhere near as qualified, made a snide remark that no one in their right mind would give me a credit card from the way I dressed for work. I had, had enough of her multiple b!tchings in work, so I just turned around and said that since I have a mortgage and pretty much nearly owned my own house, then credit was not going to be a problem. She looked slightly surprised and then I turned around and said that perhaps she should learn not to judge a book by its cover. Seriously though, if you work in a clean environment and need smart but cheap clothes, try TKMAXX or outlet stores and sales. If you have an area that is upmarket say 20-30 miles away, it is always worthwhile trying the charity shops.
Human Resources are not a Police Department. They are just workers like everybody else. If there is a conflict between two workers, they are going to do what is best for the company, not the victim. When a worker on the lower hierarchy on the company files a grievance, Human Resources tries to get rid of the victim, because they rocked the boat. They are not getting along with their workers.
I love your videos. I work in an extremely toxic environment. It’s not uncommon to see coworkers screaming at each other in the hallways. Our HR team is not on campus, in fact most of them don’t live in our state. We also work in a secured area. This makes it a free for all where everyone is backstabbing each other and bullying. If there are reports to HR, they turn a blind eye or victim blame. I like how your videos are a survival guide for this type of environment and not pandering to an “in a perfect world” outlook.
Thank you so much for this video! I have a disability and because of it I have been a frequent target for bullying by a co worker. I never knew how to deal with it. His jokes were super offensive and made me feel like I couldn't go to work some days and he would spread crazy rumors. It made me sad because I felt like my disability wasn't taken seriously since other co workers would laugh when he cracked rude jokes about me.
I'm so sorry you're going through this Rachel. No one should, especially for things outside your control like a disability. It's so hurtful, but remember the bully's behavior has nothing to do with them - it's only showing others who they are. I didn't mention in this video the power of allies, especially when it comes to standing up. Do you have friends in work who are supportive and would lend their voices?
Jennifer Brick Yes my best friend also works at my company. We have both been having issues with this co worker and have tried documentation, reporting, and positivity methods to help me feel better. However my company’s response was that I must have done something to offend him. They tried to convince me that I was lying about the bullying and reported me for being rude.
I just called my supervisor out for saying racial slurs about me and always belittling me behind my back to co worker. I recorded the entire conversation and i have his admissions of misconduct. I thought about getting a attorney. But so far im enjoying having a more chilled time at work.
I had a real bully at work. There was a devil in her, she was able to attack me verbally, she was shouting, throwing objects, putting all the work on me, sabotate my efforts, etc. She was almost the same for the other people. She was not the boss but coworker and we were not able to manage with her,
Unfortunately I have very little self control, from being bullied in my past, I would have no compunction with throwing somebody out of a window. I am truly a damaged individual.
I feel so seen and validated and not responsible for others’ bullying toward me at work. I just felt so strongly that I needed to talk with someone about my feelings because I want justice! I feel so much closer to letting this bs go as I walk out the door being 1 week into my 2 week notice 🙏
Here because my fiancée is being bullied at work and i wanted to give her good advice. Ive advised she go to the branch manager, explain the situation and ask for a timeline on when things will be addressed. I hate bullies.
I work in tech within the nonprofit realm and most of the known bullies have been minority women. It got to the point where that “dynamic” has become a red flag to identify during interviews and actively avoid. I know that these bullies have a back story, maybe struggled due to their gender and color but TBH that has nothing to do with me, I’m not the one who determined their genitalia or race. So glad I’m not dealing with any of that crap now.
Protect yourself, do not internalize their hurtful/belittling comments. Be calm and respond professionally or walk away from the conversation. Bully likes to trigger you, when you are calm and show them their words don't affect you at all, it's actually the best come back to them.
I do create positivity before going to work through prayer, meditation, affirmations, and journaling my intentions. I wake up 10 to 15 minutes early. Don’t do them all but each day try to do at least one. Listen to podcasts and affirmations if running late.
This is exactly what happened to me. I had an incredibly misogynistic manager who I went to HR about a few times. The last straw was when he unfairly demoted me without reason. I reported him and had to go through a whole internal investigation while I was on vacation and simultaneously closing my departments 2 largest deals in its history. They gaslit me, told me my claim was unfounded and were going to have me report back into him like nothing happened. Obviously, I left to protect my mental health. As I tried to move forward, the founder of the organization retaliated against me by badmouthing me to a potential employer leading to me not getting the job. I've been in financial devastation ever since.
I’ve been bullied at work for years. I’m an AA woman in leadership and my “bully” is my co-lead and a WW who is several years younger than me. She’s so mean, seriously. When I was offered my position opposite her, working with her was my one concern. She’s been there several years before me because her dad is over security for the entire building. 😔her dad is friends with our big bosses. 😣 For years she’s taught our coworker(her gfs) all of these work procedures etc. while I’ve had to learn everything on my own and even by eavesdropping! It’s so irritating. I’ve been so close to blowing up (which is totally not me😳) but I know I’m out of the door if I do that but I also feel like if I go to our management I’ll be the one looked at sideways although they “like me”. I’m not sure how to proceed but she leaves for maternity leave soon 🥳. I can’t wait. I’ll be over my head due to the things I’ve mentioned before but I’d prefer that to being sharing a space with her another minute. Phew feels good to let even a little of this out.
I'm crossing my fingers she has a long maternity leave. Take the time she is gone from work to cultivate more positivity in the workplace and deepen relationships you have. People might *see* her behavior but wont do anything about it because of connections (sad reality that insulates some), but the break is going to let you recharge. And I think motherhood can change people, hopefully it helps her heart find love that it sounds like she struggles with.
@@JenniferBrick lol me too! Thank you for the advice, I will do that. They do. The attitude is a known issue BUT it gets brushed under the rug because of her connections and the fact that she does know dang near everything about the job...I won’t take that away from her at all. It’s everything that comes with it that’s an issue. Some people come to me because they don’t want the looks and tone she gives. I just feel like this experience could’ve been so much better if I’d had a counterpart who wanted to train me. It’s going on 3 years now (on the job for 12) total and I still feel behind. All of her old gfs have left but 1 and I’m sure they left knowing more than I did. It’s really frustrating. I had open heart surgery (I’m 44) in Sept 20 and since going back to work I’m just up to here with the nonsense. I’m sure stress played a role in that. The behavior cycles on and off all year long generally. Yesterday I came in to do my assigned task and she had already done it....then she did that again while I was at lunch. That would seem like a nice thing of you didn’t know any better...believe me, it wasn’t. While she’s away I’m going to really see what other options I have. I feel to old to start a new job but we will see. It’s not worth my health anymore...never was. Oh yeah and this is baby #4, lol it’s just how she is at this point I guess. 🤷🏽♀️
I started a new job with a Positive Attitude after encountering a WPB at the last job! At the New job I recognized the Bully on the 1St few words that came out of her mouth!!! I decided to stay and make this a case study for myself to try and learn why I continue to be a Target for these types of people. What was I doing wrong?? I looked at it as an Opportunity for realizing my own faults, which the main one was standing up for myself and stop taking the Bullies Abuse!!! I lasted 7 months there with the end game The Smear Campaign she did on me to Manager and Asst Manager I stayed 1 month later then left!!! It was totally devastating to me!!! I will Never put myself thru that Again. But was Grateful for the lessons I learned about me!!!! Staying too long will literally make you ill Mind Body and Soul!! Get out ASAP and look for a New Job!!! It’s Never worth staying and putting up with Abuse!!!
I've never seen an answer to this: what about when you work for an employer where the HR team supports the toxic bullying culture? I have heard HR at my employers make fun of staff for being "crazy" and have participated in directed conversations in the cafeteria near a person they are trying to intimidate. It's appalling, they bring up info on staff's ex-spouses, their families' issues (drunk driving, drug treatment, their sister the school teacher's disciplinary issues, the co-worker's son's problems at the state agency he works for, etc.) They have access to background check info, their medical info (HR at my employer somehow knows the medical issues of many staff), and so on. How do they get away with it and how does one protect themselves? Finally, how do people live with themselves? Is it a coincidence that every woman who works in that dept where I work either is at least 50 lbs overweight (there are few to no men in HR) or gain weight after being hired? I'm serious, in 3 years I have seen the health of so many employees (esp female) decline. Has anyone else seen this in their toxic environments? Is this just an American phenomenon? Are we just especially cruel to each other?
This is my first time looking for help. I have 2 (maybe 3) bullies at work . One is suppose to be my supervisor and the other one is manager with a different department.. started beginning 2023. And here we are beginning 2024. Same thing only worse because I havent fell into their trap so now they are very upset and determined to make me mess up at work to get me fired. Anyways I need help ! My boss is kind of seeing what's going on now! Bur it's time he knows it all!
Congrats on reaching 3K subs Jennifer! I recently found your channel and I've been binge watching your videos. Your content is excellent and you approach topics in a very complete yet concise manner. I really hope one of your videos blows up majorly and you continue to grow. We need more creators like you on this platform! Thank you for not victim blaming people. It's much like school. There's literally nothing you can do, and if you try to please them or stay silent, it gets worse and worse until you eventually explode. Addressing it and shutting it down early is key. Don't just let snide comments "go". Set the tone for future interactions. I've seen both sides of the coin. I had everything documented, my witnesses lined up, but it was my boss at the time who was the bully and basically he scared all of them into submission and the other staff flipped on me, made false claims about me bullying them to HR and I got fired! Unbelievable! I've also been a boss and had claims made up about me and it got to the point where I had to leave that role, because the constant meetings trying to defend myself got extremely tiring and made me feel like crap. I felt like I was getting nowhere and couldn't just go to work and do my job. I advise people to have solid proof before bringing anything up and to back up your fellow colleagues if you do witness something. Let them know you saw it and you'd be happy to be a witness.
Im so glad you found my channel! I've really appreciated your input and how you openly share your stories - some of the topics we've talked about are difficult and it takes a heck of a lot of bravery to speak up... even in the UA-cam Comments section. And thank you! I can't believe the career bestie community has reached 3k!! There are so many people who believe in better workplaces and intentional success. Thank you for being here is what I'm saying :)
Men tend to dominate other men especially if they deem them physically or psychologically weaker. Taking bullying complaints to higher places is the worst thing you can do since the bully could be popular or been at the company for ages. The best thing to do is confront them one to one after researching why are they behaving like that. The hardest thing is knowing what to say after they've just humiliated you infront of your work colleagues.Going to HR is just going to make things worst for sure.
Yeah you have to confront them. Or use unspoken facial and body communication. And as you say it is easier with guys, depending on your personality. I don't know what to do with women bullying men because they always make themselves the victim.
@@jesseleeward2359 hm ' unspoken body language or facial expression " you say . Interesting I just tell them fark off instead .The bullies are power tripping cowards and only way to stop them is to stand up to them . I learn that at school as 12 year old . Zero tollerance for this kind of behaviour .
@@jesseleeward2359a woman I worked with labelled me a “misogynist” because she didn’t like the fact I’d finally stood up to her. All I said was “will you please stop talking to me like that!” She acted like I couldn’t have said anything worse.
If your a man dealing with this. From psychopath women at work. And You complain about it you are seen as the problem and they will then think you are mentally unstable. Women are certainly not out of the question.
My bully always ups the goal post of the work I do always change where my capacity is always questioned my self esteem has been affected so much. Its a power thing.i have had 2 years of it. They have announced redundancy for everyone and its still continuing and is now feeling worse considering I am already stressed out. I have done everything I could of done complained a few times it stopped for a while then would continue. People just stand by and watched when she yelled at me one day. It's got to the point now where I'm really ill feeling very stressed out and depressed and my mental health is pretty bad
Jennifer, thank you for your videos. It's helping me so much. I am in a toxic working environment at my job and I am doing something about it. I am an inspired entrepreneur therefore I am reaching out to what makes me happy. I'm leaving because it's not my skill set and that in itself has been a struggle. Thanks again for all your valuable input.
I was bullied in junior and high school. Fortunately I am in a good work situation now. Although I always fear having to deal with one in the future. I never learned to stand up for myself. There have been situations where I felt a coworker was disrespectful. But I was scared to say anything because I would get in trouble
Thank you for this video. I'm currently pursuing my company (to which I had 5 years service with) for constructive dismissal. I was subjected to homophobic bullying. But I chose to ignore it in the hopes it would go away (thus if I responded, they'd know how to upset me even more). But it didn't work. Most of my managers were besties and so I had no confident approach. Plus I feared reprisals. On a few occasions when I did address it, my fellow co-workers were like "no, I never called you a poof or a faggot, that's all in your head" etc etc. The problem is is that HR are there to protect the company not the employees. And you can then be labelled the troublemaker.
Bullies only respond to strength. Whether it’s in a schoolyard or workplace, stand up for yourself respectfully and professionally. Especially in the workplace, the bullies are targeting you because they are threatened by your ability. Continue to fight them with that ability, shine bright like you do and smile in their faces. I know that sometimes things get really hard or worse, just look for a new job where you will be appreciated and where you will be happy. Life’s too short to deal with toxic people and the work environments these people have created for themselves to thrive in. You deserve better and you are better! You don’t have to settle for anything less. Moving every few years to a new job is great for mental health, for obtaining new and better skills, networking and getting that money. Nothing is keeping you in a toxic workplace but yourself. Never be afraid to move on to something that will bring peace in your life. God bless you all, stay positive and no matter what, continue to shine like the superstars that you are.
I'm dealing with a pregnant angry 40 year old woman with a daughter around my age. Always making rude comments. Always pointing out when I'm late and when I point out when she's late she gets defensive. You can tell she just brings her personal problems to work and part of me feels bad for her, but I also am not a punching bag. I started giving attitude right back. Even other people have noticed and told me to keep my head up which is embarrassing for her the fact that she doesn't even notice everyone thinks she's a bully!
I don’t know if anyone messes with bullies like I do. First I’ll warn them several times I will destroy their life if they continue (usually get a laugh as response) they continue and while they are busy bullying I get to work pulling their life apart. At 19yo I had a 45yo guy tell me every day he was going to flog me (even in front of the boss) meanwhile I pulled his life apart without him knowing.. he was off for 3 months and came back with a scar on his neck and telling people not to mess with me.. bullies a really really dumb and really easily manipulated
Yeah, I was being mobbed and eventually I was fired on a bunch of lies. Big mistake, because that gave me time to get my revenge. I knew the home address of one of the bullies, it was in the accident book and I knew his daughter's name, she is a right tearaway. Watched her socials and knew she was planning a night on the lash. Had gotten a different car. Parked up and watched the house. She slew on to the driveway and stumbled out drunk as a skunk. One anonymous call to the police later and two coppers showed up. One put his hand on the car bonnet and nodded to his colleague. Got to hear the police bashing on the door and yelling 'Police, open up'. It was very gratifying to see my bully open the door bleary eyed and looking puzzled/worried and to see how upset he was as the police led his daughter away in handcuffs. Reality is.....If you bully someone, you never know just how or when they might take revenge.
Ladies will be about women empowerment and come to work to bully and dim other women's shine and light. But the followers of those women, who join in to feel just as powerful, or to avoid bullying themselves sometimes piss me off more. Stop adding to the toxicity, nip it in the bud.
They shpuld get a raise and become managers... 1.tell the manager... unless the manager is their friend. Then ur screwed. 2.Tell human resources... unless human resources is managed by same manager as point 1. 3.Tell the employer... unless employer is friends with manager and bully. 4. Quick and find another job.
very nice ! Due to the recession outside , we choose to ignore bulleying at work . Just be silent and do your work . People who do so little use insults on others to feel superior , I do meditation and say I forgive him he is a patient and that is not my problem. It’s Toxic manager who hires toxic people and spoiling company .
I love another of the information you share, however, in my opinion, I find this advise a bit passive. Documentation is pivotal but what do you do with it? HR doesn't seem to care about this.
I REALLY appreciate this video. Based on your number 1 point (It's now you!)I ADORE you, SUBSCRIBED! I work in tech in a male-dominated team, and they are horrible. I am being forced to travel to headquarters for a presentation that I did not need to or want to give. I may still consider calling in sick and just not getting on that flight. To heck with that job if they fire me over it. My health is more important than this corporation that emboldens bullies. My health is forever, and my memories last a long time. I'd rather remember standing up for myself instead of remembering being bullied by cowards. I'm buying ear plugs just in case I do end up going. Thank you so much, dear. This was incredibly validating and empathetic.
There’s more than one way to skin a cat…. One of my work bullies developed stomach cancer. No I’m not saying ahhh haa but w he en you remain positive and pray and use all your positive strategy. Life has a way of removing the problem. And I had to learn that being fired doesn’t mean I was the toxic one. God removed me to go get and do better. I’m free and able to catch many blessings. While those bullies are stuck at a dead end job thinking they’ve won in life.
When you are harassed out of a job it's called "constructive discharge." I'm in California and depending on where you are in the US you may need to file first a complaint with the EEOC before you obtain legal representation. You'll then have a certain amount of time, the statute of limitations, in which to sue, after they send you the "go-ahead." Then after that period of usually a year or two you will lose your right to do so. At one of my last jobs the managers daughter threatened to punch me in the face after I stood up to her bullying and I filed a restraining order and everything. Then I got super busy and never sought justice but really now wish I had. I'm traumatized to this day especially because she knew I was/am a recovering battered woman.
There is one way to deal with a bully at work or anywhere you deal with them make them feel more uncomfortable amounts dealing with you or seeing you and you do about them
Hold onto what's being stated in this vid... I just caught this video, because I wanted to be sure that I'm encouraged to stand up to our bullying (psychopath- boss) at work... Listen to your inner-knower!
I have a group of girls coworkers and they wanted me to join with them to bully another co worker. Then I refuse, I became the target of their bully. They use a lot of disgusting way,, such as gossip, stalking to create hostile environment. I began to record very detailed about what they say, what they did with date and report to management. After that, they still look for revenge and I just need be careful. I cut all relationship with this group of junkie. But I just use myself example to say that you need stand up, if not stand up, the situation can become worse. Also need build positive relationship with another coworkers and build support.
I’m a substitute teacher and the kids tried to run off to recess early without my permission. Some random female teacher says “oh I see the kids got you today. Just like LAST TIME I saw you with a class here. Hmm.” This isn’t necessarily true, another teacher had told me before “they will be chatty, they will push boundaries. You ARE the sub”, and she must have overheard.
The tragic part of situations like this is when you have a management that when they try to fire him, they have no power because he won’t leave and become weak and submit to him. So it got to a point to where because they were incompetent and couldn’t actually make him leave, I had to stand up to him in toxic ways and that’s beyond unfortunate because I would always report it and nothing was done. I would try ignoring him. In fact, i was told to and whenever he would make disrespectful comments, I would ignore it and report it. That’s what I was told. I would report it. They “fired” him but gave him a chance. He wouldn’t stop. And I’d report it again and nothing was done. And eventually I lost my cool and threatened him with violence on the last day on the job because nothing was ever done and I had it. I told him to meet me in a parking lot somewhere after work. Is that right? No. But sometimes management is a joke. And now he probably will do it to someone else because there was no accountability.
It is never wrong to retaliate against a bully. Due to past experiences and mental health issues, I have no sense of empathy and very little self control, I have gone from being a passive and quiet person, to someone who would reduce any bully to a frightened mess, crying for their mothers.
Yes, that’s the thing that I get the angriest about, is the lack of justice and accountability. It shouldn’t have to get to the point where you threaten someone. If someone finds themselves acting in ways that are not in line with their values, that’s when you know you’re in a toxic environment and need management to take action or leave.
I conftont them directly and Iam 5x times more agressive (even if I risk to get fired), almost always they get beaten almost crying and asking apologies and saying “was not my intention” 😂, but they know very well what are they doing.
I was an RN for 16 years (Male). I quit because I couldn't stand the constant back stabbing, fault finding, and conniving behavior of some of my colleagues (Not all). I confronted many of them, but it did not help. The union protects employees like this, so they know they can get away with it. I truly felt like quitting was the only option left. Do non-unionized companies deal with this more effectively? It only takes a few bad apples to drastically increase turnover and destroy morale. Great video, Thank you.
One time I confronted a coworker that I overheard complaining about me behind my back in the office, and then they spread rumors about me that I stalked them. I tried to ignore it and I hoped the rumors would die. This was four years ago. Just this last week I went into the office and several people still talk about it every day. I got some noise canceling head phones to drown out their voices and that helps a little bit.
That's the million dollar question... b/c so many corporations, don't like dealing with the psychological part... some corporations would rather pretend this doesn't exist/happen. It takes gutts to say. Stand up. Speak. Write about. These internet platforms (Internationally) help us to understand "bullies.psycos" and stop them. STOP them from controlling You is a great start. Social media .. like youT has various and many videos about this question. Research this topic on bullies/psychopaths in corporations. You will get answers. ...i hope you stay focused. Hard world... but your workers will work better, more creatively, without being bullied.
I was bullied at work and my bully was my supervisor and her friend at work made me cry once then one day I stood up to both of them and faced her snd het friend and now were the closest of friends and she later admitted it was down to jealousy she said I was ,pretty also she was worried I would take her job from her and I had confidence which she never and I wasn't afraid to do things and can face people not that she didn't like me she said she was just insecure now we catch up with each other now again catch up for coffee
My current manager is violating the handbook rules and the laws. My plan of action: I'm documenting, reaching out to the GM & interviewing at other jobs.
Question, when someone consistently brings up what is wrong with you or makes you feel that certain way, is that bullying or abuse? I am part of a team that meets every morning and sometimes I don't want to attend cause of how they make me feel. I do acknowledge that I do have lots of things to work on myself, and I try to focus on the subject at hand, but they throw it in front of me every chance they get. They say they are doing it cause "they love me" or try to coach me, and I am working on my coachability, but I get tired of it. I want to tell them to stop, but they might do a turn around and make it that it is my doing. Sometimes I don't feel like showing up as it drains my energy. Any ideas on how to deal with this situation Jennifer??
What action step are you taking to deal with your workplace bully?
I am going hit the bully over the back with a steel chair.
@@liamfenwicker not a good idea. I take threats of violence very seriously.
@@JenniferBrick jk, that wasn't a serious solution. Just looking for some laughs.
I hear you, Liam. But jokes can be testers to see what is appropriate- belittle the sad reality violence at work, which is a very real threat for many, including some of the community members who watch.
@@JenniferBrick I wasn't trying offend people, sorry.
thats why you just learn your job inside and out stay on top of it and always, always have your resume up to date. Trust No one at work they are NOT your friends!!
So true and great advice! Thank you
Very very true!! Not your friends at all!!
Correct!
Not the most useful advice. It is often the MOST competent people that are picked on and having your resume up to date will not help you because A] your workplace will keep you at work way outside of 'normal' hours and they will ensure that you can not take holiday when you want it, so that it is difficult to attend interviews. and B] they will give you a dreadful reference to ensure that no one wants to hire you.
@@banana9106Well that is your opinion
You dont have to stay in a hostile work environment and you don't have to use them as a reference either. Everyone knows that. I was at my last job five years ended acrimoniously and did not use them as a reference. I am doing much better and making more. Also why are working outside of 8-hrs if you not getting g paid?
As an adult in the workplace, I have experienced bullying far, far more than I ever had as a child or teen. The worst of it was from other women. By far.
Same here. Men never bullied me it was always women
ppl will call u a pick me for this but it’s true men have been by far nicer. willing to stand up if they see another woman acting out of pocket
While I’ve have both wonderful men and women managers. ONLY women have tried bullying me as well and it’s in the worst way, they were all so extremely loud, disgruntled, and bitter. It’s crazy. Have some grace and class as a woman in charge, you’d think. I always say those are people who are the most pathetic in real life.
@@NM-do7he it's even worse if you're a guy bullied by women. they have influence over the workplace socially and more skilled socially. You'll never be considered management material if you complain about bullying.
That is a very good point on how complaining could make you seem less manager material but one thing in the end you wouldn’t want to stick around with a company who allows it anyway! Ppl with moral are better than this and I say Always look for more don’t settle for disrespect. There were many times I stayed quiet till I complained and it caused drama and was brought up more than once in meetings after that but I truly did not give a shit I was satisfied it was addressed weather they liked it or not lol
Toxic people have been reported and companies don’t do a thing. It’s a power trip for these people. So sad.
They never do anything. They just find a way to get rid of the person that complained.
@@banana9106 ?
@@banana9106 yep! Exactly! It’s easier for them to fire the person who is the victim rather than fire the asshole who harasses you. They’d rather have douchebags work and not ever be sad then have nice good customer service people
I have to believe that companies actually like managers that bully. They see the victim/ target as a problem and make an example out of them to keep others in line. If getting out is possible then do it, but toxicity is everywhere.
I work in HR, brought an investigation against a toxic, narcissistic Vice President in august. It was determined that “no policies were broken” however they were. She threatened me (while being recorded) with insubordination for copying her boss after 4 prior emails that were ignored. She cursed, she yelled and she told me that I would not be considered for the director role bc of copying her boss. I was also told that her boss laughed when he saw that he was copied, and that he would be happy to meet with me to confirm the same (ie: how ABSURD it was that I copied him). Long story short, this woman has been gunning for me since the first day this investigation was opened. I was told to leave and collect severance last night, by my new boss (the VP’s best friend). I don’t have a legal leg to stand on but damn I’m pissed I’m going out this way. Our employees hate the VP, she’s a toxic mess, yet here I am… having to make the decision to exit stage left.
I did not believe the devil exists until I met toxic co-workers who gossip, slander and harass. Some workplaces have more of these demons than others.
The nursing profession is terrible for this!
My coworkers are like that.
@@Nimesay1Mine to 😞
@@savvybuildsI agree. My ward has two extremely nasty ones. They have been there for 20 years+ and bully everyone, they target new nurses as they get an ego boost from it. Everyone is too scared to report them as they will be targeted even more
I am currently facing all this😢
I dont need steps to be positive. Im a positive person. I need steps to *protect* myself.
Just find their flaws and then keep on digging and digging and digging until you break them down. That's all you can do. You need to make it so painful that they can't do it anymore.
I have a huge dick. Just read. And I get a bunch of whiny babies talking about how they see my bulge and it makes them uncomfortable. And I said well, I think it's kind of unprofessional that you're talking about my dick like that. Just stop looking at it. You have your ass sticking out in your tight ass clothes, so what about that? Oh it's different so on so forth is what the women say. I say well no it's not different I have a big dick that is 6 inches around soft. That's a well above the average girth of an erect penis. And that's what I said and I said so there's nothing I can do about it. I'm not going to wear uncomfortable clothing to satisfy your inability to look away.
And of course, they keep on going on and on and on and then, because it's a restaurant, I can get away with the following.
I then say it seems like you really want my dick huh? I mean, if you want to go to the bathroom and get railed out real quick, just let me know. Otherwise if it makes you sick, just don't look at it. It's very simple concept. And so up until recently, they were going on about my dick bulge in my pants.
Eventually though, it got so painful for them to bring it up that they simply don't bring it up anymore.
I just take it as a compliment because they're hot as shit. I don't say anything sexual until you start talking about my dick. Then all bets are off.
I had a fat co-worker that came up to me and like to annoy me at work. I told him to please leave me alone multiple times. He chose not to so I then started calling him fat ass and fat fuck whenever I addressed him until he started crying and walked away.
Make it painful. Pain is the key to learning. Life lessons are not made to be cushy and sweet. That's why prison is made the way it's made. Because it's meant to punish you so that you find the consequences so unbearable that you don't commit those crimes anymore. And if you don't learn, then you just rot in prison until you're too old to move or until you go out in a body bag.
All you have to do, if you want to avoid prison is stop breaking the lawn victimizing people.
You don't want to be humiliated at work? Stop trying to humiliate other people.
That's all you have to do.
I also have refused to help any woman who has said one negative thing to me that wasn't because of a shitty job performance in the moment or whatever. You need me to pick something up for you? Good luck. Not my job. You need me to help you move a table? Not my job. You fucked up. End of discussion.
Punishment. Pain. Agony. Those are the only things that bullies respond to.
Now you can't beat the hell out of them and then rip their teeth out with pliers. You can't shoot people. But what you can do is the merciless and cause them as much mental anguish and agony as possible and then you say I'm willing to stop if you're willing to stop. Just stop being an asshole.
Punish, cause pain, cause agony mentally and then extend an olive branch every time.
Just like the Palestine israeli war. Palestine came in and raped and murdered children, men, and women. In one case they literally beheaded a man in front of his family, put a baby in an oven and then raped the woman who was right next to the oven hearing her baby scream, and then beheaded her all on video.
What's happening now? Gaza is being carpet bombed. And rightfully so. Thomas wants to act like barbarians? And the general populace wants to attack Israeli hostages that were brought back to Gaza from the initial invasion of the music festival? Cool. Well then you can get carpet bombed and all of you can die. Do you start something? You better be fucking prepared to finish it.
Pain, punishment, agony.
That is how you deal with bullies.
I'm going to go back into work tomorrow and if the guy who was talking shit continues talking shit after I warned him, I knew exactly what to say that will make him either cry or attack me in which case he's going to feel real physical pain, real physical punishment, and real physical agony.
And I'll be able to do that because it's self-defense.
All he would have had to do is shut up. Because I've never said anything mean to him at all.
You can take my advice or not. It's your choice. But just remember cause as much mental pain and agony as possible if diplomacy doesn't work. Otherwise you're going to be a victim until you leave your job or your neighborhood or whatever is going on with you.
Good luck
@jazzyj2182I'm not religious, but that's pretty hardcore. I kind of like that. Lol!
Useless.
I am a polish woman living abroad. I struggle with anxiety because I had experienced so much bullying in the work that I had to google it. I found this video and I started to cry when the first example showed up.
I consider myself as a kind and friendly person. Never snitched on anyone... but clearly ppl have problem with me, because it's very easy to build up theirs ego on somebody's who strange n weak. Keep your heads up folks!
I can return back the bullying to them. But I rather ask them if they are ok? If they need any emotional support or need someone to talk too, make them feel stupid without them realizing that you are playing with there intelligence. Trust me, you would catch them off guard when you use a different tactic with a calm voice.
Be blessed if GOD is for you WHO can be AGAINST YOU? Don't let them steal your joy!
This sounds just like I could have written it. My story exactly right now. I’ve only been there five months and the bully is the woman that’s supposed to have trained me. But the “training” was inadequate (purposefully, I believe) so now she berates me over every tiny thing. Things that don’t affect the work, but is just not the exact way she would do it so…she either is giving me the silent treatment and not speaking to me at all and won’t answer a question if I ask but just stares at me or she berating, belittling, and insulting me. I prefer the silent treatment but this is all just so stupid. We are grown women, ffs. I’ve done my best to keep my mouth shut but I’m afraid before the week is out I’m going to boil over. I can’t take it anymore. I cannot learn when she’s doing that because I’m so angry! The job pays well and I’m a single mom with a mortgage so I need it but I feel like I’m going to lose it or have a heart attack from holding my temper and just taking her crap.
I hope things have gotten better for you.
As for me, looks like I’ll probably be job hunting again. Already have been, actually. I see the writing on the wall.
@@cassietherainbowsend722
I'm dealing with this now, how do you get over that? when get frustrated I'll cry I kind of of block myself out for a min before things go left. I also I struggle with bad anxiety even if I want to point my foot down I'll can't.
So.., I'm new to the work place I'm dealing with another manger whos always seem to bully me even go as far as belittling me keep you in mind I'm new to the whole hotel industry and still learning since I'll didn't even get good training.
she had yelled at me bc one of my main manger told me to throw away the food which I did even know when I'll work with her she dose the same thing as well . others mangers do to
when she got so upset when she had realize their was no food left over from the smallest things even. Somehow..., the front desk manger had gotten involved and made the situation.
I felt like they had double team up on me since I'm new
I even went to go tell the general manager who's seen everyone she just didn't even care what I needed to said so I 'll just break down. at the same time general manager.
"if their something going on between ya'll meaning the co workers you can tell me ". ever meeting that we're have. I feel like every time I'll it's always a bad timing with her .
@@cassietherainbowsend722 wow.. your sorry is exactly like mine. Why she does that? Because she sees you as a threat. But ignore as much as you can. I know your work will be jeopardized next to a person like that. My sincere suggestion would be find another team asap. HR won’t help too much.
I'm currently being bullied at work, The catty women are smearing my name and making up lies about me to try and control how other's see me. They are Insecure, Jealous and harassing me
Keep in mind they mean nothing. They’re jealous of something about you. That being said document everything especially anything that impacts your authority or productivity at work.
I deal with jealous female witches all the time. Do your work and ignore them. Best to pray.
@AbsoluteMdot going through the same.
Me too 😢
I have been bullied for 5 yrs now 1 year away from retiring.I pray and speak psalms out of the bible for enemies.God wins my battles. I had at one point 20 people men n women against me.God scattered my enemies in different ways! Now I am counting down my last year.
Sometimes these people have already planned for your demise. If they are in charge they set you up to be a scapegoat, they will discredit you, and then discard you if you are seeking fairness and justice. Especially when they have personal ties, such as nepotism, with the work place.
That’s so me …. I feel like they gangstalk my demise ….. every fucking job …. There so fucking evil … it’s like they just can’t wait to take my target ass out right away …. I say fight me for it . Tough guy
Being a scapegoat is OK. Just accept any blame, and never blame others. Other workers know what is going on. The blame won't stick. The bully will often be ordered to say sorry. If they do, just say "you don't mean it, do you?". The response will be "nah".
Going through this now, worked here for years and this new manager is lying and making up write ups for me that NEVER happened. He is completely lying and he is setting me up to be fired bc he doesn’t like me and sees me as a threat. I’m so upset about it
Women bully other women too, especially in the nursing field.
Agree. There is a lot of bullying in the nursing field. It is so sad. Have experienced it myself.
Yes it's horrific like nursing isn't hard enough
I’ve had way more issues with women than men, and I work in a male-dominated field.
and the medical back office. I was a records clerk and had to leave bc the environment was extremely toxic. Everyone targeted everyone and I felt like I was in the middle of a battlefield 🤯 I left for an office job in a different industry. There's still bullying but its not even close to what I experienced prior. 😒
As a male working in manufacturing, trust me when you get up from that lunch table the second you’re out of ears range they are talking crap about you. No offence but women make great fake friends
Most of upper levels tend to ignore the problems,the more you talk about it complain about it sooner or later yourself will become a problem…… sad but true….
Right. You’re the problem for bringing them a problem they don’t know how to deal with.
@@genxx2724. Or in some cases v for bringing them a problem that they are already “in on” and are supporting. They don’t want to be held accountable. They just gaslight and blame shift.
I’ve experienced and yes they flip it
There’s one thing my dad once told me about bullies that works and that I’ve never forgotten. When confronting a bully, look him (or her) in the eye and calmly say what you need to say. If you’re a little intimidated, afraid or whatever, do it anyway. The bully will not see that you’re quaking in your boots. They will only see your strength, and the whole experience will give you confidence.
Working remotely and the bully never turns their camera on, makes this impossible, which is upsetting because I'd love to try it!
They pretend to be so nice when confronted and avoid owning up to their attacks. They'll make excuses and you don't believe any of it because they're actually a bully.
Oh my god this is so right. Even when they’re bullying you, they have this weird even tone voice, while making condescending, snide and reprimanding remarks with an eerie smile on their face.
@@ivybichon8582 Yeah absolutely - very subtle and I feel it's definitely our duty to "know thy self" as much as possible, respecting how our current life is indeed affecting us and always sharpening and personally designing as much as we can with some journaling / affirmations / goals - little bit every morning and evening I feel. Bullies have a deep void and leech on the energy of others but the real empowerment is from within to surround with healthier people with greater exploration of real opportunities for the daily routines, daily work. Something I've been thinking more about lately to have more choice in these matters - tolerating bullies for too long is still often perhaps overlooking other healthier opportunities in life. Setting boundaries helps, but we can't really change a toxic person either and there's certainly a limit before it just eats at us too much, regardless of highly effective boundaries. Maybe a voice inside thinking "what matters more and how can I work towards it?" Goals and dreams engaged bring a sense of life.
@@JimmyJaxJellyStax thank you so much for taking time to write to me. I appreciate the inspirational words
@@JimmyJaxJellyStax I appreciate your words of kindness, and sharing the strategies to have gotten you through a similar experience. I thought it said these boundaries early on by putting her on notice of her behavior with human resources in my supervisor present. However, she’s been relentless. But I do blame my supervisor as he started gaslighting me about my reality. Today’s the first day I stepped out of the house in two weeks
They walk around and stalk u and make u hype for narc supply ….. they can’t stand to see u suceee and in peace
Honestly, at some places, it's better to give up and just fall back into mediocrity. Even the lawyers informed me that they knew about the workplace's reputation and that there is not a whole lot that could be done with them. The high leadership downplays the complaints openly, which gave the bullies and toxic ones the green light, and the workplace culture suffered as a result. Some places, are beyond redemption and you just need to escape, like NOW.
Exactly how the place I work at is like
Escaping is a good idea if u hate it … otherwise deal with the bullshit …. And survive . No job is perfect out here ….
As a female minority for me I definitely find it to be other women in the workforce who bully others. I just recently started a new job about 2 months ago and because I'm not fast enough on learning what I need to do for my role, I'm being harrassed and bullied. My boss actually made me cry. And my morale has already dropped. How do they expect for me to be confident in my work and what I'm doing when they're saying the most harsh things? And they have the absolute nerve to call it constructive criticism. 🙄 But my boss is actually leaving her job and her last day in 2 more weeks. Her golden work child is throwing her a goodbye party and I want nothing to do with it honestly.
Sometimes they withhold training. Or half train so they can say they trained you but then throw constant criticism at you while you wonder if you're really dumb or have early dementia.
I have a perfect solution to deal with a bully at work. Basically, I would bring my phone to an expected interaction, and I would start an audio recording, and let them know that I am audio recording! Promise, promise, Promise! this will curve the behavior.
Imma try that
Imma try that too. Tomorrow. Or actually later today as it’s after midnight and I don’t want to go to bed because then morning comes faster and I dread every day so much.
150% absolutely the perfect evidence
@@cassietherainbowsend722 Dam I've should try that today smart move
@@cassietherainbowsend722 o
what if you have several bullies at work along with the boss and they gang up on you?? I feel the only thing to do then is leave..
I'm going through the same thing.. The only thing you can do is seriously bring headphones to work and ignore it if you can.. that really gets to them. It's nothing you've done wrong.. I know it's hard but they may just be trying to get you to quit. Don't come down to their level. :)
Don't stick around and put up with that. Their abuse is gonna damage you, not them.. There's bullying everywhere but everyplace has a different dynamic. Ask yourself if you're willing to put up with it next month? next year? 5 years from now? If not, find a place with a dynamic that you can reasonably put up with, and never listen to anyone who tells you to "just ignore it" because if it was that simple, you wouldn't be on here. Good luck to you 🍀
That’s what I was going through. Just left two days ago.
True.this is common. Supervisors always gang up with managers. Staff feel like to stick with bully managers or super to keep their jobs.
Hopefully you left lmao your post is two years old
My boss was a bully. He used to take his stress out on me. He would throw temper tantrums and embarrass me in front of everyone. I had a really thick skin and just ignored him. Over the years, it really got me. I have high blood pressure and anxiety 😔.
One day he was really angry and started screaming at me accusing me of doing nothing all day in front of an office full of people. He then went a step further and threw papers in his office at my direction. He then went into his colleague's office and closed the door. While he was in there, I picked up my handbag, put my coat on and walked out. He realized that I walked out and kept calling me to come back to work. After 22 years, I have had enough and told him NO! I figure that since I do nothing all day, there's no point for me to be there. He begged and pleaded for me to come back because he can't run that office without me. I said NO. Then he had his wife contact me and plead for me to come back. I said NO. I found another job and I am NEVER going back.
The lesson for him is that when you abuse your staff who is running your business, you shoot the golden goose. Not my problem. I will never put up with that behavior again!
Good for you! 👏👏👏
I experienced the same thing working at a grocery store. I started off with working at the meat department, the people there did not treat me well, so I asked the store director to let me move to cashier position. Everyone at the store was surprised that I switched positions. The people at the meat department say they are starting to miss me & want me back. I said no.
@@cowabungga Hello. The people at the meat department miss ABUSING you! Glad that you moved forward!! Peace to you
That happens to me before back in year 2012 he keep bullying me until I lost my respect to him and guess what happens he just leave me alone because I already know that everyone hates him that why it leads me to ignoring him guess what happen he become nice to me because he knew that nobody is on hes side anymore well it’s to late now he push me forward to change and he’s position as a boss has nothing to do about me anymore because I show him that everything is all about respect
Your ex boss is pathetic. Good for you for leaving. It must have been so draining to put up with this behavior.
90% of bullies I have seen were women, bullying other women and some men. Women of all age groups are most often the bullies. The men in my work life have been supportive and respectful. I am a woman with a lifelong work history.
In my experience the worst bullies tend to be older women that have worked the same job their entire life. The seem to take a strong disliking to the younger women, and any men that don’t stand up for themselves.
I just started a job and it’s always something being said. I don’t say anything to anybody, I’m so sick of it.
Spot on. I am currently suffering immensely from bullying at work. Sadly, I have been talking about it to management no concrete action taken it’s only victim blaming and retribution is unbearable ie. pick on your work, isolating you at work, using other staff against you, weaponising complaints from clients no matter how pathetic that may be, damaging your reference and getting stuck at same position over 12 yrs, spreading rumours against you etc.
Oh no ☹️ Do you have friends outside the organization? This job doesn't have to be ur only reference. And sometimes references aren't even the most important thing? It's always possible to catch a break from just knowing someone or taking part in a different project somewhere else. Wishing you the best 🙏
@Jamal. Everything that you said is true true true true true. 👍
I have it the same, unfortunately I even had concequences such as loss of bonus because of the words my colleagues spread, my manager has no proof but still continues to believe them to possibly kick me out of my work
Beyond social bullying as they spread their dirt , it will become social mobbing where social media spreads it to the community .
This is it. Only those who have been through it can understand!!
Sometimes people are very jealous/insecure about issues they're facing in life and it causes them to harass coworkers.
I need a new occupation. I just stick out with my job though because I need the money.
I can see why people don't want to go back to work. No one should go thru this no one should have to keep finding jobs because of bullies. Bullies should be the ones made to leave for distraction of hard workers.
Exactly!! As a matter of fact narc management likes to sling mud (figuratively) in your face and then “rub it in” and say “There, you BETTER put up with our bad behavior and you’re wrong for complaining”. That’s truly a sick mentality.
I just ignore them and look she leave me alone because I’m not the only one person who hates her even everyone else hates her so I’m not so worry about that bully from my workplace she knew that she is alone
I often find that for me it is the women who bully others at work. I work in healthcare and the hospitality/tourism industry. I tell you, housekeeping ladies, especially the older ones are quite the serious bullies!
Girl. I'm tearing through these videos. I'm experiencing everything you talk about re: toxic boss and toxic workplaces. I love my job and work so I'm holding on hope to find a way to figure this out, while also prepping to launch my own consulting and coaching business so I can totally walk away.
Gm stay away from toxic people document everything
I'm a female from a minority group. The worse bullying I've experienced was from non minority women. I'm still in the situation.
I'm really sorry to hear this happened to you. I know it doesn't help but I'm white and I'm going through the same thing from 2 older white women, I think they are just threatened and deeply unhappy and insecure. Sending love and strength
@Esme gemini I agree with you toxic behavior is like cancer it happens to everyone regardless of race. It comes down to the personality of an individual not race.
@@esmegemini9257 how are you doing? I’m getting microagression from the only person that suppose to be helpful. I think they are trying to get at me.
@@T_r0525omggg me too. I’ve been having anxiety sleepless night and trying to look for ways to tackle this problem.
I don’t even know if I should bring the bullying and micro aggression to manager cus i informed my supervisor but she did nothing about it
I'm a white lady but I've had jobs where I've seen black ppl seem to get talked to all the time until they quit. I'm not sure what's different about me but I 100% see it clear and it happens to me. It's like they all are in a little devil cult and know a way to choose who to try to destroy and surround and swarm this person. Knowing glances lies remarks gossip sabotage withholding info confirming your insecurities as though a friend. I do not see quite clearly but it seems devilish. I don't even know where these people learned this stuff.
I've been bullied at work on top of being the victim of rumors/gossip and even false accusations. My previous job was the only job I've held where I wasn't well-receptive of most of my coworkers. This is a true reality for a lot of people struggling in the workplace and management needs to set an example and contain a toxic workplace. It's still hard to believe that I haven't been part of a workplace in almost 11 months and this gave me plenty of time to overcome the toxic working environment that I dealt with. I wouldn't even know if those people who contributed to the toxic environment are gone because I refused to go anywhere near my previous workplace and don't really bother asking questions about my former workplace if I ran into some of my former coworkers who I could actually trust. It wouldn't surprise me if my previous manager told everyone that I was a bad influence and not talk to me or stop following on social media as blackmail was commonplace at my previous job. Still in search a healthy non-toxic working environment...
Your next opportunity is waiting for you. Getting time to recover from the toxic workplace is crucial - otherwise you walk into your new job with all the baggage.
All me how I know 😭🤣
Of course you’re free to contact & ‘network’ socially with anyone you choose whenever you choose. That means whatever social networking you choose with whoever you choose.
What you describe is called isolationism. It protects your manager from others finding out the truth and it’s cuts you off from others. However, you’re entitled to maintaining your network. So, go ahead and continue to implement your right to access and foster and develop your network. Don’t let it intimidate you! Even if you find the results of the interaction disappointing, and you’ll have to process those feelings, part of your career or work life is to maintain and develop your networking! Either you’ll be pleasantly surprised and get warm feelings or will feel disappointed but do work on your network skills! They might be happy you touched base with them. Protocol is usually that if you leave, then you initiate the contact. People don’t normally go out of their way to look for you if you’ve left because it’s considered invasive. 😉
@@JenniferBrick. Yes. This is absolutely correct
Bullying is pervasive & sickening in our nursing field. I wish this was an educational mandatory as part of nursing licensure requirements.
Thanks for this content! 🤝
Definitely need to document everything as it happens.
💯! Thank you for echoing this Dr. Jon - it's so important even if it's never actioned. I'd love your perspective as a Career Change expert; have many of your clients been driven to career change as a direct result of bullying they experience at work?
Jennifer Brick I think it’s tough to label what bullying is. Sure there are clear cut cases, but a lot of the minor passive aggressive stuff is just so hard to disentangle in the work place. Sometimes it’s because of a work environment where it’s more cutthroat, sometimes it’s someone having a bad day, sometimes it’s perception, other times it could be different cultural norms.... so for the clients I work with, we make the distinction that you can’t control the action of others and can only handle what’s in your realm of control such as documenting, setting and reinforcing boundaries, etc.
It happens to me like twice a day. After too much work, I have decided to go after my employer for due diligence and failure to take protective measures.
I once dealt with bullies at work.. it's so hard now it gives me PTSD, this one bully is so cruel that i realized one of her friend is actually pretty nice without her, now I'm left dealing with PTSD for the rest my life, i gues being bullied include being gossiped by the whole building and client's company and HR didn't helped u, they will try to kick u out
Yeah me too how sad
PTSD isn't for life. It's treatable. My wife did EMDR Trauma Therapy for multiple instances of Workplace Bullying (4 jobs in 3 years!) and is doing a LOT better today.
You can overcome trauma. It is a lot of work but you will learn valuable skills to help yourself for the rest of your life. I also used to believe that I would be affected by PTSD for the rest of my life. My anxiety, depression, and fear eventually began to dissipate when I continually practiced holistic healing methods. A lot of times I felt lost and overwhelmed but I kept searching and trying. I eventually found multiple practices and products that helped me. I don’t feel hopeless anymore and I know if I keep working on myself my life will continue to improve. There were still setbacks but I am much more resilient than I used to be. I know that it’s only up to me to propel myself forward.
I reported it. Boss replied,"No he isn't. " He always takes the other side.
That is so frustrating. What is your next step?
Of course. They don't want to deal with it.
Document everything then call a lawyer lol
Workplace bullying lead me to spend five weeks in a mental hospital 😡waiting for karma
Hope u r OK now. I've got that too. ❤
No not great I’ve been left with ptsd, depression, anxiety, fear of people I now struggle with drink (I never drunk before 2015 when it all started) I struggle into work every day feeling extremely stressed and mentally exhausted by the time i get home (I still work at the same place) (bully eventually got sacked work place had to take someone else’s complaint seriously) everyone tells me to find another job but my confidence, self esteem etc has been left so low I don’t have the energy, confidence or strength to do this 😓
@@tractorgirl8124I know exactly how you feel 😔I been treated the same way .I been doing kickboxing since 2020 but I still allow others to get under my skin .
@@tractorgirl8124 hope things have gotten better for you and your able to grow from the experience. It can be really draining and i used to get anxiety in the morning when I had to into the office i worked at.
Dealing with bullies at work is so tough. Thank you for covering this.
They hate u cause your not like them …. u live positive …. U don’t stay stuck in gangstalker mode all day and night …. U actually live a little life here and that bothers people nowadays
Agree 💯. They hate themselves and ther lives.
I have always been bullied more by other women in various jobs. It's sick and sad. Like society has become "eat or be eaten". Best is to leave because it doesn't get better. It only gets worse. Consider jobs where you can work alone. Be open minded to change.
It's a choice. Yours. Alone.
In my job, any comments made just escalates the situation.
Right. Female bullying is under the radar. Acknowledging it risks giving them more power.
Unfortunately I’m dealing with this now. I have only been on the job for 2 weeks. When I first met the workplace “Tyrant”, she greeted me with the following; “Hi, I’m not fake, I’m straight forward, I tell it like it is, blah blah blah”. Anyway, my Supervisor was standing they and continued to let lady talk to me crazy. The 2nd day the coworker came up me saying, “ I’m not trying to make friend.” “I’m not insecure.” I didn’t see the point of any of the negative encounters that I had with her other than her letting me know that she is rude, and obnoxious. I ended up telling her that I’m just here to learn my job, do my job, and go home. I don’t think she got anything that I said. Now she is starting to come up to me and talking about everyone else. And later I see her laughing and talking to the people she bad about. This is so draining.
It would be funny if you’d said, “I’ll be the judge of that.”
Can you please give an update on what happened?
I was once bullied at work too. I worked in a commission based environment and didn't quite fit the "Bro Mold" you had mentioned. Most of my bullies were what I would call Jersey Shore Wannabes and were obnoxious, undermined my work and prevented me from getting anything done/. I was repeatability told by management that I needed to Ignore it and was blamed for the things happening to me. Even in front of the bullies which only empowered them more. While I had this job, I was severely broke and in poor financial shape at that time and it showed and the bullies often teased me for being poor. I eventually found a new job and was a regular hourly with bonuses so thankfully I was able to get my finances in order but it took years to get back on track financially.
I had a similar problem. I worked in a lab with a really high turnover of staff because of bullying. Myself and a few other people were being effectively mobbed. It was an environment where anyone with more sense then money would not want to dress up, because it is hardly the cleanest environment.
One Christmas the boss invited us all out for a curry and then couldn't pay because she had forgotten her credit card and so was asking around the table. One of the bullies, a girl 12 years my junior and nowhere near as qualified, made a snide remark that no one in their right mind would give me a credit card from the way I dressed for work. I had, had enough of her multiple b!tchings in work, so I just turned around and said that since I have a mortgage and pretty much nearly owned my own house, then credit was not going to be a problem. She looked slightly surprised and then I turned around and said that perhaps she should learn not to judge a book by its cover.
Seriously though, if you work in a clean environment and need smart but cheap clothes, try TKMAXX or outlet stores and sales. If you have an area that is upmarket say 20-30 miles away, it is always worthwhile trying the charity shops.
Human Resources are not a Police Department. They are just workers like everybody else. If there is a conflict between two workers, they are going to do what is best for the company, not the victim. When a worker on the lower hierarchy on the company files a grievance, Human Resources tries to get rid of the victim, because they rocked the boat. They are not getting along with their workers.
I love your videos. I work in an extremely toxic environment. It’s not uncommon to see coworkers screaming at each other in the hallways. Our HR team is not on campus, in fact most of them don’t live in our state. We also work in a secured area. This makes it a free for all where everyone is backstabbing each other and bullying. If there are reports to HR, they turn a blind eye or victim blame. I like how your videos are a survival guide for this type of environment and not pandering to an “in a perfect world” outlook.
what if people get physical and start hitting each other though ? or if there is an active shooter on site /
Thank you so much for this video! I have a disability and because of it I have been a frequent target for bullying by a co worker. I never knew how to deal with it. His jokes were super offensive and made me feel like I couldn't go to work some days and he would spread crazy rumors. It made me sad because I felt like my disability wasn't taken seriously since other co workers would laugh when he cracked rude jokes about me.
I'm so sorry you're going through this Rachel. No one should, especially for things outside your control like a disability. It's so hurtful, but remember the bully's behavior has nothing to do with them - it's only showing others who they are.
I didn't mention in this video the power of allies, especially when it comes to standing up. Do you have friends in work who are supportive and would lend their voices?
Jennifer Brick Yes my best friend also works at my company. We have both been having issues with this co worker and have tried documentation, reporting, and positivity methods to help me feel better. However my company’s response was that I must have done something to offend him. They tried to convince me that I was lying about the bullying and reported me for being rude.
@@Rachelthepiano gaslighting AND victim blaming... how lovely. Was that the official response from HR?
Jennifer Brick yup sure was
Have you considered an exit strategy?
I just called my supervisor out for saying racial slurs about me and always belittling me behind my back to co worker. I recorded the entire conversation and i have his admissions of misconduct. I thought about getting a attorney. But so far im enjoying having a more chilled time at work.
I had a real bully at work. There was a devil in her, she was able to attack me verbally, she was shouting, throwing objects, putting all the work on me, sabotate my efforts, etc. She was almost the same for the other people. She was not the boss but coworker and we were not able to manage with her,
It's awful when everyone gives in to the bully. It destroys teams and companies
@@JenniferBrick Yeah, indeed, the company made a spectacular failure!
Unfortunately I have very little self control, from being bullied in my past, I would have no compunction with throwing somebody out of a window. I am truly a damaged individual.
Knowing your job is not enough you still get nailed for things that’s not in your job description
FACTS
👍👍👍
I feel so seen and validated and not responsible for others’ bullying toward me at work. I just felt so strongly that I needed to talk with someone about my feelings because I want justice! I feel so much closer to letting this bs go as I walk out the door being 1 week into my 2 week notice 🙏
Here because my fiancée is being bullied at work and i wanted to give her good advice. Ive advised she go to the branch manager, explain the situation and ask for a timeline on when things will be addressed.
I hate bullies.
I work in tech within the nonprofit realm and most of the known bullies have been minority women. It got to the point where that “dynamic” has become a red flag to identify during interviews and actively avoid. I know that these bullies have a back story, maybe struggled due to their gender and color but TBH that has nothing to do with me, I’m not the one who determined their genitalia or race. So glad I’m not dealing with any of that crap now.
I am Being bullied by like 6 other Coworkers
I'm so sorry Austin :(
No one at work is your friend. And if your friend hangs out with one of the bullies......they TOO are the bully. Trust NO ONE
Protect yourself, do not internalize their hurtful/belittling comments. Be calm and respond professionally or walk away from the conversation. Bully likes to trigger you, when you are calm and show them their words don't affect you at all, it's actually the best come back to them.
I do create positivity before going to work through prayer, meditation, affirmations, and journaling my intentions. I wake up 10 to 15 minutes early. Don’t do them all but each day try to do at least one. Listen to podcasts and affirmations if running late.
This is exactly what happened to me. I had an incredibly misogynistic manager who I went to HR about a few times. The last straw was when he unfairly demoted me without reason. I reported him and had to go through a whole internal investigation while I was on vacation and simultaneously closing my departments 2 largest deals in its history. They gaslit me, told me my claim was unfounded and were going to have me report back into him like nothing happened. Obviously, I left to protect my mental health. As I tried to move forward, the founder of the organization retaliated against me by badmouthing me to a potential employer leading to me not getting the job. I've been in financial devastation ever since.
I’m getting bullied for having a disability
I’ve been bullied at work for years. I’m an AA woman in leadership and my “bully” is my co-lead and a WW who is several years younger than me. She’s so mean, seriously. When I was offered my position opposite her, working with her was my one concern. She’s been there several years before me because her dad is over security for the entire building. 😔her dad is friends with our big bosses. 😣 For years she’s taught our coworker(her gfs) all of these work procedures etc. while I’ve had to learn everything on my own and even by eavesdropping! It’s so irritating. I’ve been so close to blowing up (which is totally not me😳) but I know I’m out of the door if I do that but I also feel like if I go to our management I’ll be the one looked at sideways although they “like me”. I’m not sure how to proceed but she leaves for maternity leave soon 🥳. I can’t wait. I’ll be over my head due to the things I’ve mentioned before but I’d prefer that to being sharing a space with her another minute. Phew feels good to let even a little of this out.
I'm crossing my fingers she has a long maternity leave.
Take the time she is gone from work to cultivate more positivity in the workplace and deepen relationships you have. People might *see* her behavior but wont do anything about it because of connections (sad reality that insulates some), but the break is going to let you recharge. And I think motherhood can change people, hopefully it helps her heart find love that it sounds like she struggles with.
@@JenniferBrick lol me too! Thank you for the advice, I will do that. They do. The attitude is a known issue BUT it gets brushed under the rug because of her connections and the fact that she does know dang near everything about the job...I won’t take that away from her at all. It’s everything that comes with it that’s an issue. Some people come to me because they don’t want the looks and tone she gives. I just feel like this experience could’ve been so much better if I’d had a counterpart who wanted to train me. It’s going on 3 years now (on the job for 12) total and I still feel behind. All of her old gfs have left but 1 and I’m sure they left knowing more than I did. It’s really frustrating. I had open heart surgery (I’m 44) in Sept 20 and since going back to work I’m just up to here with the nonsense. I’m sure stress played a role in that. The behavior cycles on and off all year long generally. Yesterday I came in to do my assigned task and she had already done it....then she did that again while I was at lunch. That would seem like a nice thing of you didn’t know any better...believe me, it wasn’t. While she’s away I’m going to really see what other options I have. I feel to old to start a new job but we will see. It’s not worth my health anymore...never was. Oh yeah and this is baby #4, lol it’s just how she is at this point I guess. 🤷🏽♀️
I started a new job with a Positive Attitude after encountering a WPB at the last job! At the New job I recognized the Bully on the 1St few words that came out of her mouth!!! I decided to stay and make this a case study for myself to try and learn why I continue to be a Target for these types of people. What was I doing wrong?? I looked at it as an Opportunity for realizing my own faults, which the main one was standing up for myself and stop taking the Bullies Abuse!!! I lasted 7 months there with the end game The Smear Campaign she did on me to Manager and Asst Manager I stayed 1 month later then left!!! It was totally devastating to me!!! I will Never put myself thru that Again. But was Grateful for the lessons I learned about me!!!! Staying too long will literally make you ill Mind Body and Soul!! Get out ASAP and look for a New Job!!! It’s Never worth staying and putting up with Abuse!!!
I've never seen an answer to this: what about when you work for an employer where the HR team supports the toxic bullying culture? I have heard HR at my employers make fun of staff for being "crazy" and have participated in directed conversations in the cafeteria near a person they are trying to intimidate. It's appalling, they bring up info on staff's ex-spouses, their families' issues (drunk driving, drug treatment, their sister the school teacher's disciplinary issues, the co-worker's son's problems at the state agency he works for, etc.) They have access to background check info, their medical info (HR at my employer somehow knows the medical issues of many staff), and so on. How do they get away with it and how does one protect themselves? Finally, how do people live with themselves? Is it a coincidence that every woman who works in that dept where I work either is at least 50 lbs overweight (there are few to no men in HR) or gain weight after being hired? I'm serious, in 3 years I have seen the health of so many employees (esp female) decline. Has anyone else seen this in their toxic environments? Is this just an American phenomenon? Are we just especially cruel to each other?
Well what if the bully is GREAT FRIENDS with the HR manager and they both despise you and make fun of you for no reason?
Often the case because cowards join together in secret. The Lord rebuke them. Proverbs 9:7-8 he who rebukes a wicked man only harms himself.
Well fuck them and show them that you can leave that company
Write a letter to HR regardless and present your case at the employment tribunal
This is my first time looking for help. I have 2 (maybe 3) bullies at work . One is suppose to be my supervisor and the other one is manager with a different department.. started beginning 2023. And here we are beginning 2024. Same thing only worse because I havent fell into their trap so now they are very upset and determined to make me mess up at work to get me fired. Anyways I need help ! My boss is kind of seeing what's going on now! Bur it's time he knows it all!
I need to learn to know and respond immediately to someone when they throw shade
I have a video in the works on exactly how to do that!
@@JenniferBrick I can’t wait 😊 we need it tbh
Congrats on reaching 3K subs Jennifer! I recently found your channel and I've been binge watching your videos. Your content is excellent and you approach topics in a very complete yet concise manner. I really hope one of your videos blows up majorly and you continue to grow. We need more creators like you on this platform!
Thank you for not victim blaming people. It's much like school. There's literally nothing you can do, and if you try to please them or stay silent, it gets worse and worse until you eventually explode. Addressing it and shutting it down early is key. Don't just let snide comments "go". Set the tone for future interactions.
I've seen both sides of the coin. I had everything documented, my witnesses lined up, but it was my boss at the time who was the bully and basically he scared all of them into submission and the other staff flipped on me, made false claims about me bullying them to HR and I got fired! Unbelievable! I've also been a boss and had claims made up about me and it got to the point where I had to leave that role, because the constant meetings trying to defend myself got extremely tiring and made me feel like crap. I felt like I was getting nowhere and couldn't just go to work and do my job.
I advise people to have solid proof before bringing anything up and to back up your fellow colleagues if you do witness something. Let them know you saw it and you'd be happy to be a witness.
Im so glad you found my channel! I've really appreciated your input and how you openly share your stories - some of the topics we've talked about are difficult and it takes a heck of a lot of bravery to speak up... even in the UA-cam Comments section.
And thank you! I can't believe the career bestie community has reached 3k!! There are so many people who believe in better workplaces and intentional success.
Thank you for being here is what I'm saying :)
@@JenniferBrick Aww! What a lovely reply! Thanks very much 😊
@@PurplePinkRed 🥰
Men tend to dominate other men especially if they deem them physically or psychologically weaker. Taking bullying complaints to higher places is the worst thing you can do since the bully could be popular or been at the company for ages.
The best thing to do is confront them one to one after researching why are they behaving like that.
The hardest thing is knowing what to say after they've just humiliated you infront of your work colleagues.Going to HR is just going to make things worst for sure.
Yeah you have to confront them. Or use unspoken facial and body communication.
And as you say it is easier with guys, depending on your personality.
I don't know what to do with women bullying men because they always make themselves the victim.
@@jesseleeward2359 hm ' unspoken body language or facial expression " you say .
Interesting
I just tell them fark off instead .The bullies are power tripping cowards and only way to stop them is to stand up to them .
I learn that at school as 12 year old . Zero tollerance for this kind of behaviour .
@@jesseleeward2359a woman I worked with labelled me a “misogynist” because she didn’t like the fact I’d finally stood up to her. All I said was “will you please stop talking to me like that!” She acted like I couldn’t have said anything worse.
If your a man dealing with this. From psychopath women at work. And You complain about it you are seen as the problem and they will then think you are mentally unstable. Women are certainly not out of the question.
Bullying can quickly escalate to life threatening circumstances and or similar. Maintain a positive attitude which helps immensely.
🙄 umm ok
My bully always ups the goal post of the work I do always change where my capacity is always questioned my self esteem has been affected so much. Its a power thing.i have had 2 years of it. They have announced redundancy for everyone and its still continuing and is now feeling worse considering I am already stressed out. I have done everything I could of done complained a few times it stopped for a while then would continue. People just stand by and watched when she yelled at me one day. It's got to the point now where I'm really ill feeling very stressed out and depressed and my mental health is pretty bad
Jennifer, thank you for your videos. It's helping me so much. I am in a toxic working environment at my job and I am doing something about it. I am an inspired entrepreneur therefore I am reaching out to what makes me happy. I'm leaving because it's not my skill set and that in itself has been a struggle. Thanks again for all your valuable input.
Whenever I have an issue at work, I come and search for a video from you because it’s always so supportive and right !!
I was bullied in junior and high school. Fortunately I am in a good work situation now. Although I always fear having to deal with one in the future. I never learned to stand up for myself. There have been situations where I felt a coworker was disrespectful. But I was scared to say anything because I would get in trouble
When you document what is happening, also document WHO witnessed the incident. They could witness in front of HR.
I work in a small team and unfortunately 90% of the team is a clique. They always back the ringleader up even though they all know she’s in the wrong.
Thank you for this video. I'm currently pursuing my company (to which I had 5 years service with) for constructive dismissal.
I was subjected to homophobic bullying. But I chose to ignore it in the hopes it would go away (thus if I responded, they'd know how to upset me even more). But it didn't work. Most of my managers were besties and so I had no confident approach. Plus I feared reprisals.
On a few occasions when I did address it, my fellow co-workers were like "no, I never called you a poof or a faggot, that's all in your head" etc etc.
The problem is is that HR are there to protect the company not the employees. And you can then be labelled the troublemaker.
Bullies only respond to strength. Whether it’s in a schoolyard or workplace, stand up for yourself respectfully and professionally.
Especially in the workplace, the bullies are targeting you because they are threatened by your ability. Continue to fight them with that ability, shine bright like you do and smile in their faces.
I know that sometimes things get really hard or worse, just look for a new job where you will be appreciated and where you will be happy.
Life’s too short to deal with toxic people and the work environments these people have created for themselves to thrive in.
You deserve better and you are better! You don’t have to settle for anything less. Moving every few years to a new job is great for mental health, for obtaining new and better skills, networking and getting that money. Nothing is keeping you in a toxic workplace but yourself. Never be afraid to move on to something that will bring peace in your life.
God bless you all, stay positive and no matter what, continue to shine like the superstars that you are.
I'm dealing with a pregnant angry 40 year old woman with a daughter around my age. Always making rude comments. Always pointing out when I'm late and when I point out when she's late she gets defensive. You can tell she just brings her personal problems to work and part of me feels bad for her, but I also am not a punching bag. I started giving attitude right back. Even other people have noticed and told me to keep my head up which is embarrassing for her the fact that she doesn't even notice everyone thinks she's a bully!
I been bullied at a few places I have worked at, because of my disability, thankfully all these have been temporary positions via employment agency
People are disgusting.i knew a girl she was bullied cos she was a bit disabled due to a stroke.she told me.
I don’t know if anyone messes with bullies like I do. First I’ll warn them several times I will destroy their life if they continue (usually get a laugh as response) they continue and while they are busy bullying I get to work pulling their life apart. At 19yo I had a 45yo guy tell me every day he was going to flog me (even in front of the boss) meanwhile I pulled his life apart without him knowing.. he was off for 3 months and came back with a scar on his neck and telling people not to mess with me.. bullies a really really dumb and really easily manipulated
Yeah, I was being mobbed and eventually I was fired on a bunch of lies. Big mistake, because that gave me time to get my revenge. I knew the home address of one of the bullies, it was in the accident book and I knew his daughter's name, she is a right tearaway. Watched her socials and knew she was planning a night on the lash. Had gotten a different car. Parked up and watched the house. She slew on to the driveway and stumbled out drunk as a skunk.
One anonymous call to the police later and two coppers showed up. One put his hand on the car bonnet and nodded to his colleague. Got to hear the police bashing on the door and yelling 'Police, open up'. It was very gratifying to see my bully open the door bleary eyed and looking puzzled/worried and to see how upset he was as the police led his daughter away in handcuffs.
Reality is.....If you bully someone, you never know just how or when they might take revenge.
@@anthonymanzio8325 I didn’t beat anyone? I pushed him in ways he never knew it was me to put his neck in a rope
Ladies will be about women empowerment and come to work to bully and dim other women's shine and light. But the followers of those women, who join in to feel just as powerful, or to avoid bullying themselves sometimes piss me off more. Stop adding to the toxicity, nip it in the bud.
They shpuld get a raise and become managers...
1.tell the manager... unless the manager is their friend. Then ur screwed.
2.Tell human resources... unless human resources is managed by same manager as point 1.
3.Tell the employer... unless employer is friends with manager and bully.
4. Quick and find another job.
Some of the same behaviors that show up in bullying are sadly rewarded in Corporate America.
very nice ! Due to the recession outside , we choose to ignore bulleying at work . Just be silent and do your work .
People who do so little use insults on others to feel superior , I do meditation and say I forgive him he is a patient and that is not my problem.
It’s Toxic manager who hires toxic people and spoiling company .
I work at an office building somewhere in the city’s downtown borough and there aren’t any bullies in sight.
I love another of the information you share, however, in my opinion, I find this advise a bit passive. Documentation is pivotal but what do you do with it? HR doesn't seem to care about this.
Exactly. They will evade responsibility.
I REALLY appreciate this video. Based on your number 1 point (It's now you!)I ADORE you, SUBSCRIBED! I work in tech in a male-dominated team, and they are horrible. I am being forced to travel to headquarters for a presentation that I did not need to or want to give. I may still consider calling in sick and just not getting on that flight. To heck with that job if they fire me over it. My health is more important than this corporation that emboldens bullies. My health is forever, and my memories last a long time. I'd rather remember standing up for myself instead of remembering being bullied by cowards. I'm buying ear plugs just in case I do end up going. Thank you so much, dear. This was incredibly validating and empathetic.
There’s more than one way to skin a cat…. One of my work bullies developed stomach cancer. No I’m not saying ahhh haa but w he en you remain positive and pray and use all your positive strategy. Life has a way of removing the problem. And I had to learn that being fired doesn’t mean I was the toxic one. God removed me to go get and do better. I’m free and able to catch many blessings. While those bullies are stuck at a dead end job thinking they’ve won in life.
When you are harassed out of a job it's called "constructive discharge." I'm in California and depending on where you are in the US you may need to file first a complaint with the EEOC before you obtain legal representation. You'll then have a certain amount of time, the statute of limitations, in which to sue, after they send you the "go-ahead." Then after that period of usually a year or two you will lose your right to do so. At one of my last jobs the managers daughter threatened to punch me in the face after I stood up to her bullying and I filed a restraining order and everything. Then I got super busy and never sought justice but really now wish I had. I'm traumatized to this day especially because she knew I was/am a recovering battered woman.
Thank you, it is too late for me. The wounds from bullies is everlasting.
There is one way to deal with a bully at work or anywhere you deal with them make them feel more uncomfortable amounts dealing with you or seeing you and you do about them
I was just bullied and gang up by 2 coworkers .
Hold onto what's being stated in this vid... I just caught this video, because I wanted to be sure that I'm encouraged to stand up to our bullying (psychopath-
boss) at work...
Listen to your inner-knower!
I have a group of girls coworkers and they wanted me to join with them to bully another co worker. Then I refuse, I became the target of their bully. They use a lot of disgusting way,, such as gossip, stalking to create hostile environment. I began to record very detailed about what they say, what they did with date and report to management. After that, they still look for revenge and I just need be careful. I cut all relationship with this group of junkie. But I just use myself example to say that you need stand up, if not stand up, the situation can become worse. Also need build positive relationship with another coworkers and build support.
I’m a substitute teacher and the kids tried to run off to recess early without my permission. Some random female teacher says “oh I see the kids got you today. Just like LAST TIME I saw you with a class here. Hmm.” This isn’t necessarily true, another teacher had told me before “they will be chatty, they will push boundaries. You ARE the sub”, and she must have overheard.
I noticed a colleague mocking me. She copies what I say. She tries to make fun of me. I wonder why she is doing that.
make fun of her
Just stepped into a more leadership role and dealing with toxic work bullies... all over Slack, too. Tiring. I was never expecting this.
All women of another color than me. I am the minority
The tragic part of situations like this is when you have a management that when they try to fire him, they have no power because he won’t leave and become weak and submit to him. So it got to a point to where because they were incompetent and couldn’t actually make him leave, I had to stand up to him in toxic ways and that’s beyond unfortunate because I would always report it and nothing was done. I would try ignoring him. In fact, i was told to and whenever he would make disrespectful comments, I would ignore it and report it. That’s what I was told. I would report it. They “fired” him but gave him a chance. He wouldn’t stop. And I’d report it again and nothing was done. And eventually I lost my cool and threatened him with violence on the last day on the job because nothing was ever done and I had it. I told him to meet me in a parking lot somewhere after work. Is that right? No. But sometimes management is a joke. And now he probably will do it to someone else because there was no accountability.
It is never wrong to retaliate against a bully. Due to past experiences and mental health issues, I have no sense of empathy and very little self control, I have gone from being a passive and quiet person, to someone who would reduce any bully to a frightened mess, crying for their mothers.
Yes, that’s the thing that I get the angriest about, is the lack of justice and accountability. It shouldn’t have to get to the point where you threaten someone. If someone finds themselves acting in ways that are not in line with their values, that’s when you know you’re in a toxic environment and need management to take action or leave.
Documenting everything is key. I had to write a letter to get my bully at work to stop.
Mostly women 13 yrs and now 2022 still dealing with it
I conftont them directly and Iam 5x times more agressive (even if I risk to get fired), almost always they get beaten almost crying and asking apologies and saying “was not my intention” 😂, but they know very well what are they doing.
I was an RN for 16 years (Male). I quit because I couldn't stand the constant back stabbing, fault finding, and conniving behavior of some of my colleagues (Not all). I confronted many of them, but it did not help. The union protects employees like this, so they know they can get away with it. I truly felt like quitting was the only option left.
Do non-unionized companies deal with this more effectively? It only takes a few bad apples to drastically increase turnover and destroy morale. Great video, Thank you.
Thank God I'm in a union so I can stand up by filing a grievance. You have to stand up.
My managers have been bullying me from day one. They just called my rental company to get dirt on me to bully me even more. Thanks Krogers!
Lol standing up to my bully got me fired. Never again. I’ll just move on.
One time I confronted a coworker that I overheard complaining about me behind my back in the office, and then they spread rumors about me that I stalked them. I tried to ignore it and I hoped the rumors would die. This was four years ago. Just this last week I went into the office and several people still talk about it every day. I got some noise canceling head phones to drown out their voices and that helps a little bit.
How do you deal with it as a boss? (i have an employee thats being bullied, how do i talk to the bully about it?)
That's the million dollar question... b/c so many corporations, don't like dealing with the psychological part... some corporations would rather pretend this doesn't exist/happen. It takes gutts to say. Stand up. Speak. Write about.
These internet platforms (Internationally) help us to understand "bullies.psycos" and stop them. STOP them from controlling You is a great start.
Social media .. like youT has various and many videos about this question.
Research this topic on bullies/psychopaths in corporations. You will get answers.
...i hope you stay focused. Hard world... but your workers will work better, more creatively, without being bullied.
Fire the bully , he is wasting energy of your employees, channeling his energy in spreading negativity instead of work
I was bullied at work and my bully was my supervisor and her friend at work made me cry once then one day I stood up to both of them and faced her snd het friend and now were the closest of friends and she later admitted it was down to jealousy she said I was ,pretty also she was worried I would take her job from her and I had confidence which she never and I wasn't afraid to do things and can face people not that she didn't like me she said she was just insecure now we catch up with each other now again catch up for coffee
My current manager is violating the handbook rules and the laws.
My plan of action: I'm documenting, reaching out to the GM & interviewing at other jobs.
Question, when someone consistently brings up what is wrong with you or makes you feel that certain way, is that bullying or abuse? I am part of a team that meets every morning and sometimes I don't want to attend cause of how they make me feel. I do acknowledge that I do have lots of things to work on myself, and I try to focus on the subject at hand, but they throw it in front of me every chance they get. They say they are doing it cause "they love me" or try to coach me, and I am working on my coachability, but I get tired of it. I want to tell them to stop, but they might do a turn around and make it that it is my doing. Sometimes I don't feel like showing up as it drains my energy. Any ideas on how to deal with this situation Jennifer??