Therapist Reviews It Ends With Us | Why Did Colleen Hoover Make THIS a ROMANCE Novel??
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- Опубліковано 21 вер 2024
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We're finally talking about Colleen Hoover's terrible book (and now terrible movie apparently) It Ends With Us! There is truly so much to unpack here that we don't even get to it all. I decided to not even address the fact that it's so poorly written because I'm not a book reviewer and that's not what y'all are here for anyways. We're getting into all my issues with how the characters and the story line perpetuate some harmful stereotypes and try to debunk the myths that this book is chock full of. I hope y'all enjoy the video!
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I really disliked that Lily actually asks him how can she know her child will be safe with him. He gives no satisfactory answer, but she still lets him be involved in the child's life.
Yeah, the character should've definitely fought against that, but irl unfortunately a lot of state courts allow this to happen, too.
Blake Lively: "Grab your florals"
Almost everyone: WTF do you think this movie is about?!
Your fivehead is insane. Serving megamind realness
@@SLURPSLURPyour rudeness is insane, serving mega asshole
@@SLURPSLURPhow mature of you
Yeah that it wasn't the barbie movie or Deadpool
Picturing the Hoover Hater in me as Kermit in the dark robe - “YES! Rip it to shreds, Mickey!”
I believe Hoover said she “fell in love with Ryle” while writing the book. Which is concerning.
But not surprising if you know anything about her other books... She did have a woman apologize to the guy who set the fire that nearly killed her after he lied to her for years, because it was wrong of her to break up with him.
CoHo loves them red flags, I guess
Well her “protagonists” are all copy pasted from each other 😭
@@elle8786That's...... What?? 😮
Ew. What a humongous yikes!
How I would fix the story:
After the stair incident and finding out she's pregnant - Lily decides she needs a break from Ryle and everything.
with the help of her Bff and bff husband, Lily Escapes to her mother's for a solid 2 weeks.
While at her mother's Lily breaks down from stress and pregnancy hormones and tells her mother everything.
About the abuse, the pregnancy and how she doesn't know what to do about it all.
Her mother opens up about her abuse and wishes that she had the strength to walk away, how she stayed because she wanted Lily to have her father and how she knew that her father would never hurt Lily...
This hits home for Lily,
During her two weeks, Lily finds her old teen diary. As she reads though them, she realises, that yes, her dad DID her hurt - everything she saw her father physically abuse her mother - it left Lily emotionally scared.
Lily spends the rest of her time contemplating her relationship with Ryle, and the baby and decides to get a divorce, sell her shop and just get a clean break.
The rest of the story will be Lily planing her escape. Looking at lawyers, discussing handing to business to her friend, preparing a Go bag ( with copy's of important documentation, medical stuff and clothing, spare phone and charger) whilst hiding it all form Ryle.
The climax is Lily serving the divorce papers, grabbing her bag and leaving for good. With Ryle trying to convince Lily to not go though with it. That their child will need their father and he'll never hurt them.
Lily, remembering her mother's words - says that he will. Every time he hits her, every time he yells at her, their child will see and be hurt by it.
She will not allow what happened to her happen to her child ...it ends with her
The epolioge
About 3 years later
We see Lily leaving her therapist office to pick up her child. We find out she has a new job, and raising her child as a single mother. Her mother helps when she can, an do her new friends. It's hard but ultimately Lily is safe and happy.
This is so much better than
I agree, your version is a vast improvement. I especially value the part where you said every time the child sees her mother get hit, that is child abuse.
I'm having a hard time with people who think that only physical abuse is abuse, and emotional abuse isn't real.
Lily needs an abortion. Reality is, Ryle would have parental rights and it wouldn’t be up to Lily. A man can abuse his partner, but will still have rights to the child.
"Makes my teeth itch" is a sentence I didn't know I needed and will steal henceforth
Infuriatingly, Colleen Hoover perpetuates the public disservice of not allowing wanting an abortion to be a normal, healthy response to a pregnancy. In all the book reviews of her work to which I’ve listened, abortion is never even mentioned as an option.
Most commenters under videos about this book don’t seen to see abortion as an option either, much less the right one considering that in most states, Ryle would have parental rights and custody rights, despite abusing Lily, and an abortion is the ONLY way to guarantee not providing him a child to abuse.
My problem with Colleen Hoover is not the subject matter of her books. Is that she's presenting this as somehow being something that can help people with domestic abuse. Like if you're making smut that has non-consensual stuff in there that's fine but just let it be smut don't present this as somehow having a positive message.
💯💯 exactly, I'm sick of this false advertising & equivocating. Pretending that this is flowery romance will lead to ppl going into the book unprepared, and that could lead to them being harmed. Same with the movie, Blake Lively going around like "wear ur florals!" doesn't let folks know that they're in for a movie about DV. A survivor doesn't need to be triggered by some mediocre half-baked story like this! Come on now 😒
@@bbo7002 It just shows how twisted Hollywood is. These actors and actresses don't know right from wrong if it hit them square in the face
When Ryle gets angry is triggers RAGE BLACKOUTS where he completely loses control of himself. As a parent of kids who had colic and neurodivergent meltdowns, I would say that I would never trust that man with my children. If you think an adult person can make you angry, try hanging out with a toddler.
Yes Toddlers are small and cute for a reason.
As the child of a rageful man who "lost control" and "doesn't remember" hitting me...I don't fucking believe it.
Yeah I worked at a special needs school and some people are NOT cut out for that environment, especially anyone with anger issues lol I've gotten shit in my mouth and slapped with a piss full diaper. Lol. I wouldn't trust anyone with anger issues around a child like my kiddos at the school haha
I know you were talking about Ryle and Lily but the thing to remember about Atlas and Lily is they met when she was 15 and he was 18. He disappeared for a bit and then conveniently came back on her 16 birthday so he could have sex with her legally. Even the ‘good guy’ we’re supposed to want her to eventually end up with is a creep
@@Luv878 Yes! It's not an amazing love story!
Good grief, yes. Finally, a voice of reason. Thank you so much for this, Mickey.
How are Colleen Hoover's books so popular? I don't understand. They're terribly written, the characters are unpleasant, the plots are nonsensical. How did they get so popular, they get their own display table at Barnes and Noble?
I believe it's because the general casual reader has awful tastes, lol.
Don’t think it’s a coincidence she blew up during virus lockdowns when people couldn’t have flings or hook up with strangers. Her smut is so graphic, though; it comes off childish full of naughty words and acts 🙄
@@d_alistair-years Nothing wrong with smut. The problem with her books is the romantization of abuse.
I'm an avid fanfiction writer on AO3 and this video made me realize I really need to begetting paid bc wtaf
thank u for ur service, ur an invaluable member of society 😔🙏 I hope ur readers will repay u with their attention & comments lol
@@bbo7002 awe you're so sweet! I started the account to "escape" my abusive relationship. He promptly found it, deleted it, and forbade me from writing anymore stories. I always loved writing, but never thought I would be good enough to be published.
Since I left him I've written some fabulous stories and the feedback I get is so incredibly encouraging. I'm working on a book of poetry (well, it'll be two books) now. I will publish it one day! I started writing poetry during my abusive childhood and I learned as an adult I have DID, so I thought it would be cool to publish my poetry, written from the perspective of someone with this mental illness. So many people experience trauma and I want to share my journey to healing.
Anyway this reply is embarrassingly long. I'm so sorry 😅
Omg you do. Please publish anything, I'm sure if you have a few beta readers look over your stuff it will be superior to this creepy swill
Yes get that bag!!!
@@aazhie thank you so much!! I will!
Not going to lie, it's an odd position to be in, to know that the general internet/public loves this book, but every single youtuber I subscribe to has been VOCALLY against it and have released some of their longest videos pointing out the heinous issues with it. And these aren't therapy channels either, just general channels across a range of topics.
It does however, give me a sense of hope and faith in my subscription list knowing that even completely separated spheres can agree on the important topics.
Hollywood & "mainstream" culture always seems to love the "Edward Cullen loves Bella so much, he will each her while she sleeps" vibe, and most of the people who are neurodivergent I know personally, or follow on YT, are immensely creeper out by that toxic romance junk
Just what I needed right now Mickey on an anxious day, my friend and I saw the film and were shocked how immediate the red flags were in the love interest! We thought it would be more slow burn, but maybe that's a sign of how good education on this issue is becoming. Keep up the good work ☺️
I will never understand how this book was made into a movie that was marketed as a romantic chick-flick.
at least they canceled the coloring book before coho could sell it like that nail polish line 🥲
It’s Blake making it look like a romantic comedy. Justin is talking about domestic violence.
It's all well and good for fans of CoHo to claim that this is supposed to be representation of a DV situation, therefore it's not romanticization or glorification of ppl like Ryle, but the thing is:
The only difference between Ryle and all of CoHo's other male leads is that the narrative admits Ryle is *wrong.* It Ends With Us is the only book that actually acknowledges the relationship involves DV & he's the bad guy (tho he doesn't get nearly enough comeuppance for anything he does 😒) but it's not the only book involving toxic situations & DV that CoHo's written.
The other male leads act just like Ryle and they get away with it, they're lauded as ~romantic~ and ~sexy~ even tho Ben (November 9) _burns down the female lead's house, scarring her for life & ending her career._
THEY STILL END UP TOGETHER IN THE END. Slammed involves a teacher-student relationship with a girl in HIGH SCHOOL!! JEREMY MURDERS AT LEAST 3 WOMEN IN VERITY. These books are WILD.
Sure, most of the other guys don't literally push the female leads DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS, but that's not the only way that DV manifests!! It doesn't have to look like blatant physical violence, there are other ways that ppl in there situations harm others! I'm rly sick of the idea that "well if he didn't hit u, it doesn't count" bc it leaves out all the ppl who get victimized in other more insidious ways. It gets me frothing at the mouth, I've been ranting a lot since the movie came out & rekindled my rage.
Oh and i just wanna add that when atlas and lily were having their teenage romance, lily was 15 and atlas was 18. they attended the same high school, & lily notices that he's a little bummed out when she tells him that she's not 16 yet 👀
C,
Mickey thank you for this analysis! So helpful to hear the mental health perspective. Hope you do more booktok books bc they’re rife with dysfunctional relationships
Okay, Ryle (coho names, goofy as hell btw) so youre liable to black out when enraged and/or frustrated, and in that state you hurt people on purpose. Youre also an apparently-successful children's neurosurgeon. What happens when you get frustrated during surgery, something that can easily happen in such a high-stakes environemnt? Are you a liability there too, or do you somehow manage to control yourself when its your livlihood instead of the woman you like to knock around?
I hate this book and i hate coho for inflicting her writing upon an unsuspecting world.
I work in a hospital and it's disturbing AF to think anyone thinks this is attractive in ANY way Dx
I mean honestly a surgeon with control issues is a stereotype. But also the fact that he's a surgeon, has an explosive temper, MEDICAL TRAINING 🚩, and can successfully parse all that while enacting abuse means the scope if potential harm is high. It also drastically puts in doubt his "i just lose control" narrative which for one thing is a fundamental misunderstanding of what motivates abusers. If he's hyper competent he's capable of doing premeditated complex plans to hide and get away with abuse (including gaslighting and manipulation) and he's likely telling himself that story to say it's not really his fault and maintain his self-esteem successful do good surgeon.
Ughh the black out anger thing is infuriating since most abusers a) think what they do isn't abuse when they're the ones doing it b) frame doing abuse as something that happens to them rather than something they actively do
@@mellowthm566From what I’ve read about in books written by professionals, the “lose control” narrative is oftentimes just an excuse. Abusers who are alcoholics, when angry, might drink to give themselves an excuse to “lose control” and feel less bad about the abuse they plan to inflict on their family. Abusers might break things - but usually not stuff that’s important to *them* but owned by/important to their partner. Etc. The “losing control” narrative is just bullshit and Colleen Hoover perpetrating that is HORRENDOUSLY damaging. Abuse has no excuse, period.
I am so happy to see I am not alone in thinking this book is basically just a how-to manual in thinking abuse is romantic! Colleen Hoover has a long history of romanticizing abuse and toxic masculinity, demonizing strong female characters and making the classic trope of Tortured Hot Guy into a hero. I would LOVE to get your take on her book Verity!
I feel like what contrapoints said in her twilight video also applies to this book. Despite what Colleen Hoover says about it being a book about abuse, it’s also clearly a romance novel and the depiction is in many ways romantic fantasy. Ryle showing up randomly and constantly pursuing Lily is very much a classic bodice ripper fantasy, rather than of a real relationship. Doubt Colleen Hoover is so sophisticated as to understand this, hence why it seems so strange and at odds with the intended “realism” of the DV aspects.
Love Contrapoint's twilight video! Savvy writes books says something similar in her review saying its like the book is set in a fetish erotica universe while its trying to tell a real story about abuse. You're absolutely correct.
@@llynxfyremusic Savvy also genuinely enjoys CoHo books. I unsubbed.
The defining characteristic of a romance is it ends with a happily-ever-after/happy-for-now ending. This one doesn’t.
@@NoelleTakestheSky ???? That's a weird reason to unsub from a person. She didn't turn a blind eye to the problems in the book, she said she enjoys them in a so bad they're good way. She's very self aware. have some nuance, please. The books are good actually was not the takeaway.
@@llynxfyremusic they have the right to unsubscribe from any channel. Who are you to assert they lack nuance because they don’t applaud someone supporting garbage or harm with contradictory logic. If you want to remain subscribed then do so, but no need to insult someone else’s reasoning skills. Everyone has different morals and values.
That very first thing with being trauma dumped and having consent coerced actually happened a lot to me when I still presented as a woman to the point I think men have no other strategies besides that. I never thought of it as coercive before, but what you said there makes a lot of sense. I did connect with my ex through his trauma and that relationship ended pretty abruptly.
We attempted to warn you, mickey
I LOVE your glasses, those are hot hot hot. Now I need to go glasses shopping….
And fantastic video! Thank you for sharing
Yeah this really isn't different from her usual, she just doesn't admit the others are abusers too because those ones aren't intended that way
I was so happy to see this video exists 😂😂 we needed this
I really need you to go over one of CoHo's other books. It doesn't matter which one. All her love interests terrify me, Ryle is just the only one painted as abusive.
RELAX DRACULA
@@lestatsluv317 I was just quoting the video. It's not that deep.
Keep being aggressive about 4buse!!! I’m here for it! ✊🏼
I appreciate your saying, "I had to suffer through it, and so do you." I could not be more tired of, "I read/ watched/ listened to it, so you don't have to." It was slightly funny at one time, but enough is enough.
50:38 also, even if someone isn’t directly abusive towards their children doesn’t mean their children aren’t being hurt. Watching your parent being abused is pretty inherently traumatizing
posted 1 minute ago is wild😭 excited 2 see ur takes😎
Thank you. I learned so much. Eventhough cognitively i understand abuse, you have a beautiful way of putting things so clear and desisive into nos and ews that really makes these neurons flip. ✨❤️
(*Disclaimer:* I'm about to cite the Romance Writers of America, and it's an organisation with problems with racism and diversity, but they're the experts on Romance novels) By literal definition by the Romance Writers of America, a Romance novel a) has an A-plot that is about the romantic relationship developing between the central characters that 2) ends with them together in that relationship AND happy ever after, or happy for now. At the end of this book, Lily and Atlas are not living happy ever after; the book goes through their relationship in flashbacks, not the A-plot. By the definition and the narrative itself, and very much per a course the RWA offers where this is actually stressed in course materials, It Ends With Us is not a Romance novel. Laypeople (that is: readers and reviewers) have made it seem it is, and any marketing by Hoover or her publisher to make it seem like one *is literally deceptive*.
(That definition also means many (all? IDK; I haven't read them all) Nicholas Sparks' books aren't Romance; they're love stories, yes, but so many of them end with tragedy. A Romance novel can't end with the central couple, whose love story is the A-plot and told throughout the novel, not in a relationship together. In Canada's biggest bookseller, Sparks' books are in General Fiction, not Romance.)
All that said, I'm glad you're discussing this, Mickey. I don't believe in censoring art or banning it, especially when it's *for adults*, but I do believe it's still necessary to discuss this sort of stuff, to be clear why the behaviour of characters like Ryle is not at all okay IRL. Because I understand that while my autistic brain took lessons about media literacy that I got in high school (which is a privilege I have from when and where I grew up) to heart, and also my parents stressing with me from a very young age that what I see on pages and screens is not to be believed or emulated unless it's educational content, not everyone is in the same position as I am. I struggle to believe that people are so suggestible that they'd, you know, play a violent video game and think it's chill to rip out someone's spine or read a book like this and think it's okay to be abused, but apparently that *is* a problem, so until media literacy improves and people stop being so gullible, we have to talk about how things that happen in books like this aren't good or desirable.
When you talked about how people who know what they did was an accident won't hide it: yep.
When my parents were dating, they went camping on a very cramped tent. My incredibly clumsy dad tried to get something from the side of the tent, and accidentally stumbled into my mom. When he tried to apologise, and check if he had hurt her, he turned fast, and hit her with the side of his body. Comedy of errors continues. After four or five examples, mom yells for him to stop apologising before the tent falls. They laughed it off, went back the next day, and proceeded to tell everyone so that he could be properly mocked. Even now, years after they've divorced (and are still very good friends), it's one of their favourite holiday stories of "how my dad almost killed my mom by trying to be chivalrous".
Accidents happen. People are clumsy, they flail around, they can be agitated in their sleep, or a thousand other things. But hiding it? Red fucking flag.
Mickey the glasses are so cute. 💘
This is great Mickey thank you ❤ I also watched Savvywritesbooks video a couple months ago on this book and it was very entertaining, we needed a therapist's version though 😂
We simp Dolleen Hoover and marine grade polymer.
@@stephanieok5365 yes Dolleen!! 😂 hi fellow savvy fan ❤️
Everyone's been calling out the marketing issues with this book, trust me. Blake lively and Colleen Hoover will call it romance though
In the authors note Colleen mentions this book is inspired by her mom and her self insert is the baby, Emerson
CoHo fell in love with the character inspired by her father. She needs serious mental help.
57:17 I think you nailed it right here. I think Colleen (and a lot of readers) saw those first red flags (like the banging on 29 doors to get to her apartment) as passion and love. I agree with it being a kind of Twilight effect (I say as someone who loved the books as a tween/teen and only unpacked some of its craziness once 50 shades came out) - possessiveness and moving fast and intense declarations early on and isolating the main character to all but the love interest's family? It feels classic there (not in a good way). You can do some of those things well in a romance novel (not the last one), but you have to handle it carefully, and I don't thing Colleen could tbh. And all together like this? BIG red flags!
When I read/heard it, I liked it because I saw it from the victim's perspective. None of it was healthy or acceptable - I thought that was the goal. How when you grow up seeing this behaviour, you tend to mimic it without realising.
It did not feel like a romantic novel, it felt like a warning. In the movie though, in some of the violent parts it almost makes you be on Ryle's side, because Lily would not respect his boundaries - and that was scary. The movie did not portray the red flags correctly, and did not focus on the abuse enough. It was 90mins of ads for luxury brands.
The work being reviewed sounds absolutely nauseating! Thank goodness, I shall steer clear of the author’s work… Yuck… And thanks for the review and detailed analysis, MA❤
56:20 the worst part is CoHo also fell in love with Ryle and actually wanted to change the plot or his character so that he wasn't abusive after all!
Been waiting for this! What a mess, this book…. This movie…. I value your opinions!!!! Let’s get into this and talk about this stuff.
If you think ending of this is bad, please review and check out November 9th. It's gonna make you do violence towards CoHo. Most of her books are awful tho, and her protagonists are either doormats or insufferable(when it comes to women). In one of her books, her female protagonist literally killed her boyfriend because she was driving under influence, and it's later revealed she not only crashed the car but then wandered off and left him to die, basically. And we're meant to feel bad for HER that his family doesn't wanna hear her out. She also has a daughter with him, and the way this shit is written it implies that all the time she was in jail, she never really made an attempt to contact her daughter, but when she comes out she suddenly wants her back. and even contemplates abducting her. Also, the whole book is basically her feeling sorry for herself and throwing a pity-party, and while she apparently grieves for her bf you never get the feeling it's genuine remorse or change. ..esp as we start with her going to the place of the accident and basically ruining the memorial her bf mother set up for him. Sure, it was a cross and her bf wasn't religious but she acts offended and acts like his mother is this terrible selfish bitch, for putting a religious symbol like this. and the book ends with her gettintg a happy ending and everyone saying how sorry they are for not hearing her out and giving her another chance. Again, we're talking about parents, who lost their only child, if I remember correctly, apologizing to someone responsible for his death for not understading she didn't mean it and welcoming her back to their family right away.
That one pisses me off-had that alcoholic stayed at the scene, her boyfriend would have lived. Then his mom is painted as the bad guy for not giving custody of his child back to an alcoholic who chose to have no contact with that child for YEARS. That alcoholic NEVER truly accepted responsibility. There were always excuses and continued lies, yet she gets a happy ending.
Hoover thanking her abusive dad in the credits in a story about dv shows her true colours, not to mention that the only difference between Rile and her other male characters is that he's physically abusive instead of just sexually and emotionally abusive. She's a misogynist all the way.
Every time I learn more things about this book, I get more and more terrified of Colleen Hoover's mind. ESPECIALLY since I learned that she used to be a social worker
My therapist casually recommended the film adaptation to me.
You should get a new therapist.
@@AnxiousGary Why?
You really do need a new therapist.
I would absolutely love to hear you talk about My Dark Vanessa.
If you want a book that handles past trauma and a new lover WAY better (plus has some phenomenal representation of a plus size woman as the main character) I recommend Curves for Days by Laura Moher.
Anyway if you want to read an actually well written good book about DV I recommend In The Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado
Actually, Micky it's "marine grade polymer" and it's super strong and that's why it's brought up a lot /s
Underrated book character, marine grade polymer
Thank you for pointing this out. I immediately thought, “No, no, this is no mere plastic. This is _marine-grade polymer._ That’s a very important detail.”
HIGHLY recommend Rachel Oates' videos about Colleen's AWFUL books. And Alizee's too
WithCindy also has some good ones on CoHos books
Love them!!!
Rachel's reviews are always so thoughtful and conscientious, and Alizee's reviews are scathingly witty and insightful. They're both great, can't recommend their channels enough 😊
Yessss my two fav book reviewers. Different vibes but still very complimentary, I think it's neat that they're IRL friends and help edit each other's videos. Vangelina too!
Yes! I love them both
Thanks!
I wanna read Goodbye Earl: The Book.
Pretty sure that’s _Fried Green Tomatoes._
😆 yeah, you're not wrong there.
Mickey, I would love to see you review Hoover's book Maybe Not where a literal SA scene between the main male character and the main female character is framed as the girl is too controlling and she just needed a real man to show her the way..... It's horrible. She says no many times and then she freezes while he does what he wants to her. Yet she's framed as the problem....
off topic but Mickey's glasses are so cute!
I desperately needed this video!!!
Honestly I think you give her too much credit for certain scenes being excused because it's supposed to be written from the perspective of being abused... This is just how CoHo women behave. Then again we can discuss how all CoHo men are kind of abusive, but she doesn't see it that way
This!!! Dude #1 acts EXACTLY like dude #2 and #3 and so on, every dude in every coho book, and none of the other ones are actually acknowledged to be ab u s ive in the story!
they're all copies of each other with a different coat of paint 😭
There's no agency, no creativity, no nuance or subtlety at ALL, just silly names and rom com tropes! It's so dumb omg 😂
What is CoHo?
@@icouldusemorecoffee ah that's like a nickname for Colleen Hoover. Her fans are apparently called Co-Horts 😅
@@bbo7002 ohh lol... thanks for explaining
I’ve been so excited for this but also would you review Mormon wives please
Mickey did a live stream reaction to it yesterday and I think it got almost immediately blocked by Disney (I came back a few hours after it had finished and it had been removed). They might do a different type of review of it at a later date, but Disney seems to be very protective of this show unfortunately
Was this written by the ukulele fake apology lady? Or is that a different cringy Colleen ?
Different Colleen, that one's Ballinger, this one is Hoover 😅
Not sure if they pronounce it the same tho?? The only version of the name "Colleen" that I'm familiar with is of irish descent, it's from the word "cailín" (meaning "girl") but that one sounds like KAH leen, as opposed to KOH leen. They may be different names with coincidentally similar spellings, idk 😅
@@bbo7002 Thanks.
@@corriemcclain7960 glad I could help ☺️👍
Ryal littraly says that he has blackouts and doesn't know what he is doing. But sure be around a child.
Also I love the glasses those are so cute
I'm going to assume you were still being sarcastic about drinking a cup of milk before a singer goes on stage because my poor theatre kid heart just stopped! For those who don't know, dairy is one of the things stage singers avoid like the plague coming up on a performance. It coats your throat with phlegm and is so bad if you need a clear throat and healthy vocal chords for your songs.
It's interesting that this novel could not have taken Lily's alternate path to get an abortion and escape Ryle in order to heal. I support peoples rights to reproductive care and to choose but I feel like this kind of 'abusive relationship between people = romance" props up some patriachal ideas that women must bear children and must withstand violence. Reproductive freedom would be one path out of this kind of abusive culture ESPECIALLY when abuse escalates when people are pregnant.
Colleen has a pregnancy fetish or something, all her FMCs have to get pregnant/have kids
I didn’t even get halfway through this book. A book you might like is Ruth Hall by Fanny Fern. Lots of women’s empowerment.
Been waiting for this! ❤
Colleen Hoover :this is a book about AbO use.
also Hoover: writes every male like this one minus the physical abo use, and sells it normal and romantic.
Don't get me wrong, if you want to write "dark romance" go for it. Just call it what it is.
She clearly like this stuff, and some people who went through ab0 use especially as children tend to gravitated towards horrible men (or women). (I have seen this) And I am not blaming her or anyone for that. That's also the reason why she think the beginning of the relationship is super romantic and people like that tend to like the "soul mate" story line, where people just meet and are instantly super infatuated. (I have theories on why, but I don't know for sure) The problem is, people have pointed out how problematic all of her men and she deiced to ignore that. Instead she acts like all of this is super romantic and promotes this to a lot of people including a lot of teenagers.
Relax Dracula sent me
Yeah this book was a real divergence from Hoover's usual process but only because the main character DIDN'T end up with her abuser at the end of the story 😬 Can't wait for you to read November 9. Yikes.
Great video. I would love to hear your take on the movie, which is in my opinion more subtle and nuanced, but only if you have the patience and energy of course.
Somehow the excerpts of this book are 100x worse than I imagined....
Baaaaabe these pink glasses and this hair is 🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌
I love your glasses! They are beautiful ❤
I think the point of it seeming sexy is because that is Lilly's (or "the abused woman's") perspective. Otherwise why would she get into the relationship? If she saw it as abusive from the beginning she wouldn't start the relationship.
This book really angered me.
Edit: I had no idea this was supposed to be a romance novel 😬
CoHo's books are er0tica, marketed as romance, for some reason.
They're erotica for ppl who refuse to admit that they like erotica 🙄
What gets me is that they're not even GOOD. U can find better stuff on the internet for free lmao 🤣
Umm OK BLONDE BOMBSHELL 🔥🔥🔥💁🏼♀️
Why is this a romance? Because Colleen Hoover is mentally fucked up and genuinely loves Ryle. She’s been open about this. If she did indeed work as a social worker, then I worry about the people she had as clients considering how much she loves Ryle and sees her father as this good guy despite admitting in this very book that he literally busted his knuckles on her mother’s skull.
To her, this abusive relationship is literally her idea of romantic.
17:10 wait can we get a video discussing this stuff in depth sometime?
I would love a video on this type of interaction!
Oh my god Mickey this is NOT AT ALL divergence from Collen Hoover typical topic, you need to check out Hopeless, it's so much worse 😭😭😭
CoHo is my nemesis. I'm gonna enjoy this 😈
That's not how makeup sex works colleeen aaahhhh
4:55 Reminds me of a time I talked to a guy for like two weeks then when I finally felt safe to go on a coffee date with him, one of the first things he said was that he wanted to "help" me with my testosterone shot 😬🥴
Sir, I've been doing them for (over)10 years I did not ask for nor do I need any "help".
This isn't really about the video, but I would love to see you read and talk about Men Have Called Her Crazy by Anna Marie Tendler. it's about her week staying in a mental hospital in 2021 in the wake of her divorce and return to self harm. there's also an absolutely WILD therapist relationship that I feel like you could have some really good takes on.
40:18 Goodbye Earl, the book. Someone please write this!
I have not read this book (and do not intend to) but thank you for the reality check commentary.
29:41 i mean daisy dove bloom is a real person lol
14:58 okay mickey but women who are abused DO find it sexy and i think this is what really frustrates me about this type of critique. it's being written as romantic because that's how abused women perceive it. you not liking that's the reality for other people who are not you doesn't make it any less real for the people being abused. idk, like, this isn't a good faith critique because abused women do see these actions as romantic.
Just no...
I feel like in that sense, the book should just be labeled erotica then. Erotica can do those things and it's understood to be a fantastical situation. 🤔
@@stephanieok5365 agreed. Unfortunately some folks don't like to admit to reading & enjoying those kinds of books, so they have to justify it as "romance" to keep up appearances.... 😒
@@bbo7002 it's pretty bad when AO3 fanfiction does a better job labelling it's content than published books sold in stores. 💀
So you think that this type of critique shouldn’t exist, and that women shouldn’t be warned, to effectively feed the delusions of abuse-victims who still see abuse as romantic…. Your view is DANGEROUS. Women who are in these situations and still see them as romantic NEED to be told that it’s not okay, rather than these reviews silenced.
I was in that position with my first boyfriend. I thought his abuse was proof he loved me so much he couldn’t control himself. How romantic…. Some of his own friends told me it wasn’t okay. Without that, I might have never realized it. Reviews like this are that for many women.