These videos take a lot of time, energy & resources to create, if you appreciate that effort, www.patreon.com/kathrin_YT helps me to continue to make more! In this week’s patron podcast I share more of my thoughts, experiences & strategies to cope with death, grief and loss. The next patron discord call is on: ‘’dealing with death and grief'’, and the week after that: ‘’grappling with masculinity’’.
I suppose it may not always be the case as my life goes on, but at this point, in my 50s, of all the losses I have faced, I miss and grieve the three dogs I have lost more than any humans I have lost. The unconditional love they gave me was so far beyond that of any human I have lost to death or time.
It took me more than a decade to accept my mother's death. To accept that she's gone. Life goes on but the thing about grief is that it always there. It doesn't go away it's just you start making new experience, live without this person, new meaning. But the sadness never go away. I stopped pretending that I will get over grief because I won't. Life after loss is gonna be different. But i think people will live forever as long as we remember them
Beautifully said. There’s a Ted talk called “we don’t get over grief, we move forward with it” that touches a little on what you are talking about, i would highly recommend!
I find that grief for a person is not limited to the time after their death or departure from your life. If you have reason to suspect that they will die soon due to something like illness, poverty, war, suicide or crime you will engage in the process of grieving preemptively. I think the feelings of guilt over exploring the new possibilities available to you after a person has left your life are especially strong when that person is still it. Taking care of a terminally ill family member is extremely taxing and isn't something that any person can be expected to do in perpetuity; I think it is common that a certain amount of relief is expected once everything is said and done. Such thoughts can feel like a betrayal of that person and their love, but with the more nuanced understanding of grief described in this video I think it's worth asking if that is actually the case. For my part I hope that death itself will also present new opportunities but I can't really justify that as a reasonable expectation. Great video! Love your work.
I don't know if there could have been a better time for this video to be made/find me. Right now though... Right now is a good time. Not an easy one but still a good one and i thank you for your contribution towards that.
God around to seeing this when I had the time , very powerful points made and I'm I agreement. Death in many ways and the grieving process was so hard for me to follow cause of the constant death that would surround me up till a point I just numbed it all out.
People who experience clinical depression don't usually feel "sad" and are often unable to recognize they are depressed. Once that pain becomes normalized, you have nothing else to compare it to and it just becomes existence. Only after you can experience joy and happiness, it gives you a comparison point and you are able to understand just how bad it used to be. It's like a fish being underwater, they don't realize that water is their existence until they experience being out of that water and are unable to breathe. If there was no light, there would be no darkness either. It would just "be".
You're so right, in hindsight I wish I had been more nuanced to reference that a lot of this is not applicable to mental health struggles. Thank you for pointing this out!
What I notice in these quotes and musings: The holding in reverence of emotions, I believe this is possibly a difference between men and women. These quotes in the video seek subjugating to feelings and preach that as the ultimate answer which is largely a female view. For me the solution is not in this but to see grief as no more than the passing of a season or a day turning to night, a plant past its bloom. The male view is not the subjugation to emotions but control over emotions, the emotions must be subjugated and controlled, and in the case of grief it must be limited in its impact and time must be allowed to erode it without being controlled by it. These solutions are diametrically opposed on a fundamental level which I think comes down to differences in physiology. Suppression and avoidance are to be avoided in either case but do not presume subjugating oneself to their emotions is a universal solution. In both cases the impact is mediated and reconciled. Do not conflate control for suppression, in suppression the facets involved are not examined or understood, in control all facets are understood and used to control it. There might be a problem with universal perscriptives when, for men and women these approaches are, exceptions not withstanding, diametrically opposed.
This might be my favorite of yours that I have seen. Thank you for this 💜🙏🏼🌍 A related song you might appreciate: ua-cam.com/video/5dGcZ6S4IoQ/v-deo.html
These videos take a lot of time, energy & resources to create, if you appreciate that effort, www.patreon.com/kathrin_YT
helps me to continue to make more! In this week’s patron podcast I share more of my thoughts, experiences & strategies to cope with death, grief and loss. The next patron discord call is on: ‘’dealing with death and grief'’, and the week after that: ‘’grappling with masculinity’’.
I suppose it may not always be the case as my life goes on, but at this point, in my 50s, of all the losses I have faced, I miss and grieve the three dogs I have lost more than any humans I have lost. The unconditional love they gave me was so far beyond that of any human I have lost to death or time.
I can totally understand this! The love pets can give is truly beautiful. It should be more societally validated the pain such a loss can bring!
not a day goes by that i dont grieve my dog. nothing will compare to this loss.
It took me more than a decade to accept my mother's death. To accept that she's gone. Life goes on but the thing about grief is that it always there. It doesn't go away it's just you start making new experience, live without this person, new meaning. But the sadness never go away. I stopped pretending that I will get over grief because I won't. Life after loss is gonna be different. But i think people will live forever as long as we remember them
Beautifully said. There’s a Ted talk called “we don’t get over grief, we move forward with it” that touches a little on what you are talking about, i would highly recommend!
@@Kathrin_yt thank you! I will check it out.
"What is grief if not love perservering?"
~ Vision
looking forward to this video. thanks for uploading as always. grief is part of the universal experience and is so worthy of open discussion!
thank you!!
I find that grief for a person is not limited to the time after their death or departure from your life. If you have reason to suspect that they will die soon due to something like illness, poverty, war, suicide or crime you will engage in the process of grieving preemptively. I think the feelings of guilt over exploring the new possibilities available to you after a person has left your life are especially strong when that person is still it. Taking care of a terminally ill family member is extremely taxing and isn't something that any person can be expected to do in perpetuity; I think it is common that a certain amount of relief is expected once everything is said and done. Such thoughts can feel like a betrayal of that person and their love, but with the more nuanced understanding of grief described in this video I think it's worth asking if that is actually the case.
For my part I hope that death itself will also present new opportunities but I can't really justify that as a reasonable expectation. Great video! Love your work.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I totally agree! And I love the concept of death itself presenting new opportunities!
I don't know if there could have been a better time for this video to be made/find me.
Right now though...
Right now is a good time. Not an easy one but still a good one and i thank you for your contribution towards that.
Thanks so much, I’m glad this video found you serendipitously! 🥰
ur channel is severely underrated.
God around to seeing this when I had the time , very powerful points made and I'm I agreement. Death in many ways and the grieving process was so hard for me to follow cause of the constant death that would surround me up till a point I just numbed it all out.
thank you for your kind words and for sharing your experience!
People who experience clinical depression don't usually feel "sad" and are often unable to recognize they are depressed. Once that pain becomes normalized, you have nothing else to compare it to and it just becomes existence. Only after you can experience joy and happiness, it gives you a comparison point and you are able to understand just how bad it used to be. It's like a fish being underwater, they don't realize that water is their existence until they experience being out of that water and are unable to breathe. If there was no light, there would be no darkness either. It would just "be".
You're so right, in hindsight I wish I had been more nuanced to reference that a lot of this is not applicable to mental health struggles. Thank you for pointing this out!
Saving this video for November 27th
This is beautiful
Ty❤
What I notice in these quotes and musings: The holding in reverence of emotions, I believe this is possibly a difference between men and women. These quotes in the video seek subjugating to feelings and preach that as the ultimate answer which is largely a female view. For me the solution is not in this but to see grief as no more than the passing of a season or a day turning to night, a plant past its bloom. The male view is not the subjugation to emotions but control over emotions, the emotions must be subjugated and controlled, and in the case of grief it must be limited in its impact and time must be allowed to erode it without being controlled by it. These solutions are diametrically opposed on a fundamental level which I think comes down to differences in physiology.
Suppression and avoidance are to be avoided in either case but do not presume subjugating oneself to their emotions is a universal solution. In both cases the impact is mediated and reconciled. Do not conflate control for suppression, in suppression the facets involved are not examined or understood, in control all facets are understood and used to control it.
There might be a problem with universal perscriptives when, for men and women these approaches are, exceptions not withstanding, diametrically opposed.
This might be my favorite of yours that I have seen. Thank you for this 💜🙏🏼🌍
A related song you might appreciate:
ua-cam.com/video/5dGcZ6S4IoQ/v-deo.html