Listening to the noise of the world and its effect on my thinking. It's all confusion to mask the real truth. I found myself thinking my values were too strict.. hmm
@@KJ-lb4tjthey fell into the leftist habit of manipulating and exploiting people’s compassion and empathy while ignoring the facts of the opposing view. It’s changing the meaning of words to evoke people’s compassion for others. Examples: “trans women are women”. No they’re not. “Abortion is healthcare”. After all no caring person would deny another’s ability to get healthcare right? Yet they obfuscate or flat out deny that abortion kills a human life. Atheists love using this tactic against Christians, re: “We had slavery once so you should discriminate against other races in 2024 to make things fair else you don’t care about black people”.
Its interesting how people equate affirmations with being quick to listen and slow to speak. Affirming someone is not listening, it is speaking, and telling them they are correct; it is making a judgement before investigating and asking questions to get all the facts.
I have experienced toxic empathy and it was a big part of why we left our other church. I was labeled a racist just for saying we needed to get facts before we assume the news narrative over the summer of 2020 and also questioned the mainstream narrative of COVID and it made them so angry, they badgered me and said I was not being empathetic. If they had left it at that and then didnt attack my posting Bible scriptures against fear and worry and my belief that we were attacking people over non-salvation or sin-based issues that were merely empathy and not compassionate. We dont stroke fear in people and protect their emotions of fear and worry but lovingly challenge it. I was labelled a Pharisee for wanting to decide whether my family masked or not or vaxxed or not or decided we were raising our kids to see people as people and not base on skin color but on character- that was our white privilege showing (I am not 100% white and no one bothered to ask). So toxic… loving people is not just agreeing with everything they say bit discussing and speaking truth in love and kindness- no “niceness” and “empathy”….compassion and love.
The issue is black and white dualistic Christian thinking and not allowing for other points of view. I can hold a different point of view from you and still be in relationship with you Don't think it's got much to do with empathy.
Those sound like bad Christians or they have the bad Christian mob mentality. Please read this: I was attending a tent revival many years ago being serviced by a now known crook, Don Stewart. At the time everyone but myself loved this guy. I even worked in what he called his ministry (the Don Stewart Association or DSA in the Harvest end of the ministry) but what I saw as his personal bankroll dept. I stepped out of the tent as his pretend preaching reached a fever pitch. As a Christian I was confused at the time as he seemed exactly as he was. Insincere and unGodly. Then it got somewhat quiet and I heard murmuring. I stepped back in and saw almost everyone holding up their wallets and praying God to fill it as they then all pulled out money and passed the hat so to speak to give to,, Don. In case you don't know. Don Stewart lived in a mansion, in a guarded, gated community. Next door to Charles Barkley, bragged how he wore 50 dollar socks (this was in the early and mid 90's) and lived VERY opulently with his second or third wife who dripped in jewels. I couldn't hold my mouth shut and still wouldn't to this day. And told my soon to be in-laws and friends in private and quietly later, what I thought of what they were doing and how he was a crook. They were FURIOUS at me and I seem to remember Pharisee and other very untrue and unkind biblical labels being hurled at me as well as my job being imperiled. I stuck to my guns and refused to ever, EVER attend any service that man was even at. Of course a few years later I was proven correct. The sad part is, is that even if I was wrong I wasn't allowed my beliefs or opinions on a matter. Not only were they cruel when I was kind, they were also attempting to use God and the bible against me. I was given apologies years later for both actions. Pray for these people and I'd recommend writing them a truthful letter explaining how you had a RIGHT by GOD to your thoughts and actions and that right or wrong on the science you still had a choice and they were wrong to throw God against you. Not only were you correct that masks are USELESS against viruses and HARMFUL to wear period and that vax is highly questionable and completely unnecessary as natural immunity is stronger. It was their actions toward you that was what was truly wrong. Then go to another church.. If they ever come back to what being a Christian is. Then it's up to you as it always should have been.
This is wonderful timing! I just had a difficult conversation with one of my grandchildren this weekend. Trying to help her not project what she thinks may be harmful to somebody in the situations were not necessary this is exactly what she’s feeling is all this projected empathy, so thank you.
This show was really good for me to listen to. It helped me reflect on my thoughts and feelings regarding politics/theology/etc, but also my parenting. I realized that sometimes my empathy for my kids can cloud my judgment on how to best address a situation in the moment. It caused me to realize that… perhaps empathy ISN’T the most important thing in parenting as I have read/heard everywhere! It is exhausting and confusing! Yes, empathy is important, but it isn’t above truth/facts. Thank you, Allie!! Also, I’m open to input if I have missed something in applying this the way I did! Thanks, guys! 🙂
I think misunderstanding empathy is one of the biggest issues here. Empathy should help you as a parent and simply as a human being trying to understand and actually hear where another human being is coming from. It has nothing to do with truth, morals or beliefs. If we understand what empathy actually is, I think the whole thing would clear up. Empathy is listening to understand someone fully to the point where they can say yes, that's exactly what I'm thinking and feeling, you've totally understood me. Then you are free to say, I hear and understand your thoughts and feelings and opinions, here's how mine differ. You've got a much better chance of being heard yourself, even if you both hold very different beliefs and opinions. But you've both chosen to fully hear and understand the other person.
I think you are correct. Empathy and inclusion should NOT be our priority! We lose sight of the truth of the gospel when we put ourself or others first. As a Christian, I am learning that my true role in society is to warn them of hell and eternal damnation. I am saddened that our young people are being led astray by focusing on feelings. Feelings are so individual. How do you deal with everyone’s feelings without leaving someone out in the cold? We can’t all be correct. Our feelings change when we’re tired, happy, sad, angry etc. There is no solid foundation.
Well stated. As I tell my grown daughters- everyone wants to be so sensitive and nothing gets accomplished with out legislate discourse. Everyone can not be right, but relativism has taken rationale and reason and placed on the periphery with out a centered hub
Mmm. I think we have a case here of not understanding that God is a very emotional being. Our feelings change for a purpose and reason. Jesus threw chairs down the synagogue steps because he was very angry. God wants to divorce Israel because he is so annoyed and frustrated with them, yet shows incredibly mercy and love over and over Jesus weeps because he's sad and sweats blood because he's so disturbed scared and anxious about his upcoming torture. Jesus is embodied and feels all that we feel. God made us with feelings because they matter enormously. Firstly we cannot love God with all our heart soul and mind if we do not understand that love is an action and a feeling. I sing worship and love god with all my being, that includes my feelings. Paul brand, the missionary doctor has a great book on the death sentence that having no feelings is. For leprosy patients, no feeling means they can have their hand in a fire or be sawing thru it and not know. It's also dangerous to not pay attention to what you are feeling if a dangerous person is in your midst. Your gut tells you whether to run fight or freezer in a bad situation. Those without the ability to feel and understand others, extreme autism, are at such a disadvantage and need to simply learn to interpret facial responses to know if someone might be happy or sad or angry etc. We aren't all 'correct', but we are all feeling what we feel. Learning emotional and relational maturity means we learn deeply how to interpret our feelings and pay close attention to them to understand why I'm feeling what I'm feeling. Is this feeling warning me, is this feeling an overreaction because of a past hurt, is it pointing out danger or understanding or is it false guilt? You see we need to feel our feelings deeply to then use the left brain to make sense of them. But to ignore them is to ignore something God given and necessary for understanding our world and situations and self.
I just learned a good lesson. Toxic empathy & inclusion, it's like embellishing overly embracing opposing views. Thanks for a very informative video! Carry On!
Empathy is empathy. If you use anything in an unhealthy or wrong way .. It becomes toxic. Empathy is understanding another person fully. It has nothing to do with beliefs or truth or morals. It's simply understanding exactly where the others person is at.
I agree that you’ve hit the nail on the head with all of us!!! I’ve been wavering between both sides for quite some time now. I’ve been listening to the conservative side and some more liberal stuff as well. I feel like I can be confident and sure that biblical Justice is so different than what we think social Justice is. Not only does toxic empathy apply to race, but the church is dividing over lgbtqiaplus issue as well because of toxic empathy. Thank you for being willing and able to stand against the waves of our culture.
Thank you for speaking on this toxic empathy inclusion issue. We must remain loving BUT truthful. We want people to turn from sin and come to faith in Christ alone. NOT accepting everything, which doesn't bring ANYONE to true faith.
Another spot on message! This extreme virtual signaling is oppressive. I'm learning to scale back the empathy that is actually natural for me but is an exhausting personality trait of mine. My walk with Christ is what I want to focus on not taking on people's emotions
Its' the same axis - just opp radical ends - of victim/ perpetrator and tyrant/slave. They usu suffer from PTSD and want 'justice' for their unresolved past hurts. "Hurt ppl hurt".
@@kaitlynkarol4600if it were just “hurt people hurt” I’d agree with you, but this goes far beyond that. This is emotional weaponization. Toxic empathy is exploiting and manipulating others to guilt them into believing as you do while ignoring the facts of the opposing argument. Examples: “If you don’t vote for this black female candidate, you don’t care about black people” “Slavery existed in the past so if you don’t discriminate against other races in 2024 to right the wrongs of the past then you’re racist and don’t care about blk people” “Abortion is healthcare so if you don’t believe in abortion you want to deny women needed healthcare” Such BS.
Empathy is a flawed concept: It tends to follow in-group preferences. That's why President Healing and Unity said he understood the anger of vaccinated people towards the unvaccinated, before berating the unvaccinated for holding out. It also tends to be what you think the other person feels, rather than what that other person actually feels.
Empathy is not thinking what the other person feels. Empathy is understanding the other person to the extent that you can say back exactly what they are saying to you and they can say yes that's exactly what I'm saying. It's excellent listening skills. It has nothing to do with believing the same thing as them or anything to do with truth or morals. It's simply understanding another person completely.if you think you know what the other person feels rather than actually what they think and feel... You have absolutely not got the concept of empathy and you have absolutely not understood them at all.
The concept is not flawed, but certainly the understanding of it is at times. A concept is a concept. How you use it and how you understand it are different.
Excellent video! My.pastor touched on this same topic this past Sunday. Had my teenage daughter watch as well as she has friends I feel are caught up in this toxic empathy.
So so good!! As an "empath," I tend to pick up and feel people's emotions almost instantly when I enter a room... among other things. It's exhausting both physically and mentally. My strong reaction to other people's pain and emotions is involuntary and I wish I had an on and off switch. Praying for discernment and truth have helped me immensely.
Did you have childhood trauma? Most empaths have trauma/pain and that is where the heightened sense of people’s emotional states are so transparent to us.
Christian, Thank you and please keep up the good fight “One voice calling out in the wilderness Making straight the way for the Lord” You are so clear and to the point backed by facts and faith God bless you and your family
I praise GOD for your willingness to speak truths that are nearly unheard of. I have felt judgmental when desiring to ask questions instead of merely believing someone's experience. Thank you!!!!!
As the parent of a special needs young adult child I saw ,as she was growing up, the word inclusion being changed from a legitimate concern and need for these special needs kids to taking on a different meaning. One that piggybacked on the empathy for these kids and the special needs community. In other words, something that held legitimate value, like seeing the God given worth and value of the special needs community became entangled with something completely different, which was being tied to other marginalized groups. What I’m finding now is that those marginalized groups have now taken front and center and the ones they rode the coat tails of, the special needs and disabled communities, have been thrown out like the baby with the bath water. I’m not sure if this makes sense but this is what I’ve seen happen in front of me. I’m also not certain that I’ve relayed well what I’m talking about. I hope so. I just know that a legitimate cause was high jacked completely.
That makes sense. I’m a PT and work in pediatrics. Individuals with disabilities are really the minority. Other groups take the attentions off of them and many aren’t able to speak and advocate for themselves. Hugs to you, mama! I’m regularly impressed and inspired by the families I get to work with 💜
Agree..inclusion meaning has been hijacked as has the pronouns they.them (how confusing will it be for kiddos learning about sentences,etc!)and the word gay that used to mean happy!
I'M also a mom with TWO special needs kids. Now they are adults and I've seen the shift from standing up for those without a voice to now this new "marginalized" class.
Thank you SO much for this!! Such a very needed episode!! I am a police wife and this is beyond true, but I had to learn the hard way and it was a painful but necessary process.
I raised my children to empathize with everyone and they do…now it’s very hard for them to deal with me saying that celebrating homosexuality and promoting trans ideology and locking hands with BLM is unbiblical. This is pretty much all that we argue about these days.
Stick to your proverbial guns. As Christian's, we are not to confirm & celebrate unbiblical lifestyle's. We are to stand firm in God's truth & protective wisdom😇
Empathy /= Love, and that's a lesson I learned the hard way in college. It wasn't until I experienced a slew of mental health problems in my senior year of college and was forced to move back home, and as a result became Christian, that I really started to understand what real Love is. 1 Cor. 13 was a huge help to me in this time, and watching my parents care for me while not putting up with my nonsense really showed me what love is and how to love others. Having empathy is good, and I would argue that it is important, but valuing empathy over love and compassion is where we get into danger
Thank you for this video! It has helped me to understand the difference between being empathetic, and true Christian love. We need to know the truth and to be discerning. You have helped me to separate the two. Love your informative videos!
It's great that someone as young as you are taking on some very important topics that are stream lining our society & using the word of God to explain it! Truth that's what matters, also I'm glad that you're teamed up with preborn, if we could just get the word out we could help save many lives!
There is nothing wrong with empathy - empathy is different from blind acceptance of unbiblical ideas. Society has hijacked terms that go beyond natural language evolution.
Yeah that's why I'm confused listening to this and reading the comments. Psychopaths are void of empathy. I'm an empath and I research things a hundred times several different ways before I ever blindly accept anything as truth. So my head is spinning in confusion here.
@@goodmorningsundaymorning4533 its been made to confuse. God is not a God of confusion. The term has a real meaning. If someone uses any thing in a toxic way... Its toxic, the Bible is toxic if used in the wrong way.
Allie, I appreciate that you specify that not ALL empathy is bad. That you wisely distinguish a difference between healthy and unhealthy empathy. It IS an important discussion the church needs to have since people who grow up with codependent parent and narcissistic or psychopathic or sociopathic parent...Love rejoices in the Truth and sadly toxic relationships do NOT rejoice in the truth but rather in lies upon lies upon lies and deception of many layers. People in church often times in cognitive dissonance take the stance that God can do anything, but in a foolish manner, siting the one example of Pharaoh who God stated He would harden Pharaoh's heart but ignoring or unbenowst to other folks in the church, there was a place Jesus went to that He did not perform the miracles and do the works He might have done because of the people's hardness of heart. Proverbs dedicates whole sections to the characteristics of schemers, wicked men and women as warnings to NOT let ourselves become like those wicked people but also to guard wisely how close we let them because bad company corrupts good character and we as Christians should be striving in the opposite direction, toward one day trading this corruptible flesh for an incorruptible "body" in heaven.
What does that mean? Empathy is the ability to understand others feelings and imagine what they might be thinking and feeling. It has nothing to do with truth or right or wrong or morals. It's not a dualistic black and white issue. It's simply listening and understanding another person and where they are coming from well.
(2/3) Yet when I hear of the stories and the way injustices work within a system I have to understand and listen. I think the evidence of being QUICK to listen is when we can come together to hear one another out. And I THINK that peoples frustration and not wanting to talk to you ABS is because (and these are the reasons I’ve heard) is that they HAVE been trying to for years and the conversations never lead to change. We often see singular events and determine what is and is not racially influenced and I think it wiser to listen to and platform and invite leaders of other view points to show us just how it’s not about a singular event portrayed one way or another by the media. It’s about how we got here in the first place.
When Allie is right, she's RIGHT!!! This particular take is 1000% correct. The only thing is that I feel she could have gone even further. What Allie calls Toxic Empathy, I would call False Compassion. This is where people try to pretend that they are more compassionate than GOD ALMIGHTY!!!
It's just another example of virtue signaling. These fools have no real virtue so they have to go around pretending to be good or nice to make up for being so empty and w/out much purpose in their lives. Ppl today are so unbalanced and so naive and blind b/c they follow randomness instead of real purpose.
Leviticus 19:15 (Adv): "Ye shall do no unrighteousness in judgment: thou shalt not respect the person of the poor, nor honor the person of the mighty; but in righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbor."
And thou shalt use another language that no one uses just for dis-ease and lack of clarity and understanding whilst people are desperately trying to get the Bible translated in their mother tongue. Use the actually English language when speaking to English speakers... It all helps in communicating.
Empathy is not a virtue. However, it allows a person to "virtue" signal without actual accountability or ever really doing something. Compassion is a virtue that entails empathy with beneficial, accountable actions. But, even compassion can become a vice.
I learned 20 years ago with our teenager “facts don’t matter” my husbands “compassion “ was “real”…UNTIL I handed my son over to him for 6 months to deal with. When feelings rule… everything falls apart😳
I agree, Nancy, however have to admit as a young Christian many years ago her studies gave me a hunger to go deeper, by God's grace only thay hunger has not stop thankfully ! Let's lift Beth in prayer 🙏 for self examination and God's beautiful grace ❤️
This is excellent. I have listened to Joe Rigney and Doug Wilson on this topic and wondered if you have, as well. If not, you would enjoy their discussion (‘Man Rampant’ on the Canon App). So important to distinguish empathy from biblical love and kindness in pointing people to Christ. Love your show!
Empathy is a word that has a meaning. Any word or concept that you misuse or misunderstand becomes toxic. Empathy is simply understanding someone else fully. It has nothing to do with taking on someone else's emotions beliefs or morals. Empathy has nothing to do with beliefs truth or morals. It's probably the thing Christians are poorest at, actually taking the time to truly listen to others and find out where they can start with someone, the place where the person is open in some way to discussion. Without empathy we simply cannot say we truly understand another, we just don't love them enough (as made in God's image) to take the time with them as Jesus did and does.
9:55 I'll give you another example. There were riots in France in 2005. They began with police chasing two young "Arab" (Kabyl?) immigrant children to their death. The riots, as far as I can recall, killed no one. Police cars were burnt, so were public schools. And one library. My reaction was, the French school system was oppressive against Muslim students expressing Islam (as obviously, even more my concern, against Catholic students expressing Catholicism or Evangelical ones expressing the Evangelic type Christian standpoints and values) and France was oppressive against alternative schools. So, the riots had my sympathy - except for the library. It may have contained very unislamic books, but Islamic high school students are not required to stay in the library, they are free to keep out of it. I was singled out as the typical dupe of things like BLM - and in 2015, the politics actually adopted by France had provoked more than just riots. Like ten years later, people actually did get killed by terrorists. Some of which had been in high school back in 2005.
I've said just about anything she's mentioned throughout this video verbatim and I've been called every name under the sun, including the ones she mentioned in this video. It's refreshing to know someone else thinks and says the same things I do.
Also, many people make a huge error when it comes to empathy. They believe that it is actually sympathy. Sympathy for me is really difficult to drum up. There are very few people that I feel sorry for, not that there's never been a time that I felt sympathy but that is where most people get into it into the wrong path logically speaking.
I was a First time listener today. My thoughts were that we should empathize with basic/universal emotions like sadness, fear, anxiety. But not to empathize with secondary emotions like shame, guilt, anger. We see a lot of secondary emotions….. anyway, good topic.
What on earth does that mean? Shame guilt and anger are all universal emotions and anger is a primary one. Why would we try to understand some emotions and say, hey wait a minute I'm not going to acknowledge or try to understand why you are feeling shame or anger or guilt right now? One of the first emotions mentioned in the Bible after love was shame. It's incredibly meaningful. Jesus got very angry and threw chairs down the synagogue steps. But, hey, we should not try to understand why someone has shame (as God did with Adam and Eve) or why someone is angry, like Jesus was... Where is the sense in any of that?
Politics are a mess, and empathy is certainly weaponized, but I'm very hesitant to view the solution as having less empathy. I think it's possible to have strong empathy and still stand strongly in your beliefs. Rather than undermining empathy, I'd prefer to reinforce truth.
""For when the understanding, unclouded by passion, acts freely and clearly, it is able to detect the truth and to penetrate into the evil which is hidden under a fair appearance and into the good which is veiled by a semblance of evil" - Spiritual combat - Lorenzo Scupoli
I’ve done this all my life in different ways in different contexts, it can be enablingI,wish I had been aware of it sooner. Unfortunately only mean people would tell me not to “care’ so much so I wouldn’t listen. It can prevent people from seeing how they get themselves into situations or prevent them from standing on their own.
(3/3) Have you even researched all the current allegations and racism going on in the SBC? Who btw were the one’s that started this “attack empathy” campaign? I really wish you would as a Christ follower have people like a Jemar Tisby on your show so that once and for all we could all get clear understanding on the issues we face today instead of hearing one sided views. I’m not saying you ABS are racist nor am I attacking you. I’m just saying we could be a little more informed beyond singular events pushed from social media. We have to take into account the history of policing (while I’m NOT about ending the police) when we consider statistics from the police. As well as incidences unmentioned by those given statistics. We have to look at our circles of church families and make sure they are diverse and not only representing our views.
The news media will often appeal to people's empathy to distract them from the truth of what is happening elsewhere or in the big picture. Empathy can be a good thing, but it isn't always.
I definitely agree with a large part of this insofar as critical thinking and truth have to be the filter for empathy, but I take issue with multiple parts of your presentation of the issue at hand. What you are describing, such as with the police incidents, is a populace who is manipulated through their ego- what you mentioned as the desire to be seen a certain way. Equally problematic is the issue of codependency- not having boundaries with the pain of others. Lastly is the role of media propaganda and reporting bias. None of these have to do with empathy, and I think empathy is a misidentification in each of these situations. The dictionary definition of empathy is the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts and emotions of another without having them communicated in an objectively explicit manner. That said it is not exclusively emotional though this is a part of it. There are different types of empathy to consider as well. All of this to say, if truth is being discarded and the ego prioritized then it is no longer empathy at play at all. That is solipsism and codependency- depending on others to respond to me in a certain way in order for me to feel good (social media and virtue signaling are the perfect examples). So, I think you make a good point that truth must always be the filter for empathy. At the same time, I think it's a misidentification to say that empathy is the problem- it is not empathy itself that is toxic, it's operating out of the ego and allowing oneself to be manipulated by mass media, doing whatever is going to protect my self-image the most and minimize discomfort and conflict.
Don't have time to watch yet, and not sure this is EXACTLY what you're getting into, but at least tangentially related, for sure (headlines): "Dark" Personalities Are More Likely to Signal Victimhood Research suggests a link between dark triad traits and victim signaling." (Psychology Today, August 27th, 2020. This one contains a link to the actual study in the first sentence of the article) AND "Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Manipulators Are More Likely To Engage in 'Virtuous Victim Signaling,' Says Study" (Reason, July 7th, 2020)
Empathy is a feeling. Feelings are not a trustworthy compass. We aren’t to be led and guided by our feelings. We are to be led and guided by truth. The truth trumps feelings every time. God’s word will always be the highest good for all.
I'm learning this right now. Thank you for helping strengthen me here. Also for some reason it's not showing up in my view history. You may be being shadow banded.
@@KJ-lb4tj Maybe you are not a writer or public speaker, but for every hour you speak, hours of preparation have to go into it. One cannot be present for a family and be speaking to an audience at the same time. Also, putting her views out there to the public is very vulnerable....so you demonstrate by your quick and shallow criticism of her. When you reach out to help others with unpopular views, you get slammed...indeed a very great sacrifice.
@@nancymessner8476 one she's choosing to do that... Slams or praise. Two she's getting paid for it and it's her job. Is that not the same for many and most jobs you choose to do. No one forces her to do this.
I get how empathy could blind one from facts. However my concern is that we often take a case and talk about “waiting for the facts” WITHOUT understanding the behind the scenes systematic injustices going on that even set up these police shootings/etc. I don’t feel like all of us wanting to “wait for the facts” are racist and I get how (as a white man myself) getting canceled and wrongly accused is going to happen. Even though I am investing into looking into these unjust causes and bearing one another’s burdens… But again, I won’t let any man, white, black, brown etc stop me from my calling or finding Christ solutions even if they are against me helping. God is my maker and not man and I didn’t get my calling from man. So I hope we don’t also adversely “react” where we still need to press in. If anyone has seen “When They See Us” story about the Jackson 5 who were wrongly accused of a rape. That alone has shown me how my “wait for the facts” approach can also be miss-informed. (1/3)
I so appreciated this episode! My husband and I are raising our three girls in a very social justice-minded community and to say we feel like outsiders would be an understatement. This episode feels like it perfectly articulated the reasons we feel so disconnected. Being late to this podcast, I would love to know if the teachings of Brene Brown have every been addressed here. I feel like her message can fall into this or even promote this idea. I once listened to a talk between Brown and author Austin Channing Brown on the difference btwn white Jesus and black Jesus. I would love your perspective on this; I found it so toxic, but I’m wondering how prevalent this concept is within other faith communities.
Can you explain what you mean here? You say you feel like an outsider to a social-justice minded community that you are raising your girls in. Do you want to understand it more? Which teachings exactly of Brene brown are you talking about? And what idea is her message promoting? Social justice? What did you find toxic about the talk on white Jesus, black Jesus? And which concept are you talking about that you are wondering is prevalent in other faith communities? Whether Jesus was a white man or a middle Eastern man? It's impossible to respond to this comment unless you make clear statements, ideas and questions.
Being empathic is a skill you can learn. How to listen well to someone to the point that they can say, yes that's exactly it, you totally understand me. That's the opposite of being narcissistic.
@@KJ-lb4tj if you’re truly empathetic, yes. Most people today, especially on the left say use empathy to excuse every sin under the sun. Apparently, you have no idea what I’m talking about. Or, you’re just like everyone I’m talking about and you’re looking for an opportunity to brag about being empathetic. Which is (bring us back to the start) narcissistic.
8:28 What you mean to say is that empathizing with someone can cause you to forego _believing_ certain principles that are more moral or virtuous than the principles that would incorporate that person's experience and alleviate their pain". And no, it doesn't necessarily. You can stay grounded in reality while also make accommodations for someone's experience and pain. In fact, you could say that someone's experience is literally a part of reality. If it isn't then you would be speaking to a virtual or simulated entity. If you're referring to an actual human being, then their experiences are not fake. They are real and if deterrents of that experience cause mental or emotional pain, then anyone with a moral conscience would take measures to make accommodations for that experience and/or subdue any deterrents of that experience. This is not about necessarily believing the beliefs the experiences cause, it's about providing accommodations for those experiences which are persistent, uncontrollable and unresolvable... at least with today's technology.
Well said. There's a distinct feeling from this video that the minute you truly understand someone you become like them. Totally the opposite of what empathy is.
To say that empathizing with, say, a gay person "blinds you to a more 'objective' reality" is essentially saying that those who actually experience that attraction are literally living in a delusion.
They are blinded to the objective reality that whether they have those feelings/attractions they are still wrong/sinful because they contravene God’s law and are fundamentally incongruent with his created order. That’s the delusion, not whether they actually have the attractions or not.
Ms. Stuckey, I am curious about the video on today's (04/13/2022) Patriot Post that shows you speaking about empathy almost being by definition toxic. I'm glad I took to the time to view this discussion (episode 593 of Chistians: Beware of Toxic Empathy), which is entirely reasonable and well thought out. Your piece on Patriot Post, I at least hope, was intended to be satire. Did the satirical nature of what you were asked to do for the Patriot Post impact your decision to use a name different from the one you use here? If so, perhaps you should give some thought to the miscommunication you may be taking part in when asked to speak in a satirical manner. If a reader somehow misses the satirical intention of one of your pieces, they could badly miss your intended points. God bless you and your efforts to steer Christians away from ignoring truth to achieve the lesser goals of both appearing to be "empathic" and gaining popularity on social media. The real world has some very complicated problems, and most of us know from experience that complicated problems, such as perceived racial injustice in policing that you discuss, are generally not amenable to simplistic solutions that the Left seems to love so dearly... especially when such simplistic ideals are reducible to a 3 word slogan that becomes the mantra of the emotionally over-wrought masses.
As a naturally empathetic person, I don’t entirely disagree and there are some good points here. However, there is a huge difference in having empathy and being delusional, gullible or just outright hopped up on outrage. You can be deeply empathetic and still have discernment and critical thinking. My empathy doesn’t trump truth and reality. I’d like to think I am not a crazy hormonal woman that lets my deep emotions drown out common sense. 🤷♀️
Today's empathy push is nothing more than "misery loves company". It's based in covetousness and envy.. I should "walk a mile your shoes". Your emotional feelings might be lifted for a moment, but after the mile you're in no better position. Rather we can better help others in how to obtain new shoes for themselves. Someone near you who is drowning you have two basic options. 1. Jump in and drown together albeit not alone. (Today's version of empathy) 2. Toss them a life preserver and help pull them out while you maintain your feet on solid ground.
ok, I need help. I only watched a couple of minutes, and I really don't know how to get myself to keep on listening to a defense of not prioritizing empathy toward the image bears of God. I love Miss Allie, so I don't get how she could be wrong, but I don't see how she is able to defend this in a way that will make sense. What can I do? In other words, what can I do so that I'm able to listen to someone argue for something that doesn't sound like what I would agree with, and get something good out of the conversation/ argument? I'm asking as someone who isn't arguing rather needs help. Thanks.
Write down questions that pop into your mind (on paper not in comments until it's over). Imagine situations that "empathy" can paralyze you from making right judgement (pedophilia, adultery, abuse etc.) God is above all, a God of love. LOVE and the words of Jesus were very rarely nice or about seeing things from the perspective of man, but rather a call to repent and turn to a life of RIGHTEOUSNESS. Hope that helps.
Some of the best help I got over the years was hearing painful truths from people who really cared about me. It wasn’t easy for them to say it or me to hear it. But facing truth helped me make better decisions and change directions. I’ll be praying for you.
First of all ask yourself some questions... Because I love someone, are the always right? Do lovely people sometimes get things wrong? Do I always need to agree with everything someone says? Why would it not be ok to disagree on this issue? For what it's worth, I personally think the whole issue here is the word 'empathy' and a wrong understanding of what the word means. Empathy means listening to understand someone fully to the extent they can say, yes you totally understand me you get my thoughts and feelings completely. It has nothing to do with beliefs morals or truth. It's simply understanding subscribers thoughts and feelings fully. This allows for you to then say, ok now that I've totally understood where you're coming from and why you think and feel the way you do... Gets where I'm coming from and what I think and feel. It allows for a career for each others differing opinions and thoughts and feelings on any topic. I think miss Allie is barking up the wrong tree here. A misunderstanding of the term empathy is simply that... People not understanding it
You can be empathetic and not experience emotionalism and not agree with the person. Empathy doesn't mean you agree with the person you are being empathetic with. You then take objective Truth and act compassionately. Truth with love. I agree it can be toxic and can be dangerous but it is not altogether black and white wrong to be empathetic. Compassion is what moves you. I totally understand your fear is empathy and then let me tell you what is true.
So neat you were in auburn. My husband and I are big auburn fans...originally from montgomery al. We live in northern Virginia now. Would love to see you come to a college campus here.
Jesus Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures and that he was buried and that he rose again the third day praying for everyone everyday God bless you all.
Don’t let anyone pressure you into losing your iconic side-part! 😉☺️🥰😘. All love!! But you can do anything you want, girl. You’re gorgeous inside and out, and impacting the world- you are endlessly beautiful! Just had to tease in good fun because I’m always bucking the Gen-Z fashion wave. 😉
I am anti-death penalty too but I wish similar advocates would be just honest about that and move to abolishing the death penalty and stop pushing wrongful claims of innocence when there is no evidence of that. Many people on death row ARE guilty of their crimes. Something I've noticed is that the death penalty makes people LESS impartial. It makes both critics and advocates of capital punishment MORE extreme and zealot.
8:43 This is ridiculous. Emotions are universally identifiable. If they weren't empathy would be impossible. _Beliefs_ are subjective and don't necessarily correspond to reality.
Absolutely. That doesn't mean that all emotions are helpful in the moment or that we understand them correctly. But we all feel the same emotions. Our emotions don't always correspond to the current reality. We can react and because of past hurt overwhelming emotions can flood us that are disproportionate to the current reality. Or we can feel something until we are given more information, then our emotions change. Beliefs are similar. We can think we know something till we get more information or we are using past information to assess a current situation.
@@KJ-lb4tj No. What you're talking about is _interpretation_ of a situation. That is belief based. Emotions _in and of themselves_ are not subjective. We all are subject to interpretation of the world around us. We carry our past experiences with us which inform what we believe about the world and inform how we go about interpreting the world and how we derive generalized principles from it. Our past experiences can also cause us to recontextualize a comment made to us or an event we witness which then generates emotions in us, emotions which are identifiable and fitting to that individual's interpretation of the event. And no, I'm not saying a person's recontextualization is the way someone else's actions or remarks were necessarily intended to be taken. It is beliefs and interpretations that are subjective, not the emotions themselves. And like I said in another comment, you can stay grounded in reality while also make accommodations and mitigations for a trans person's experience and pain respectively. This is not about necessarily believing the beliefs that a trans person's cognitive disposition cause, it's about providing accommodations for that mental disposition which are persistent, uncontrollable and unresolvable... at least with today's technology.
@@ThomasJDavis that would all be true if we don't understand neuroscience. The right side of the brain operates at a speed of 6 cycles per second which is faster than conciouse thought. All of what we sense comes into the brain from the right brain stem and goes thru the right side of the brain before crossing over to the left side of the brain where the sense coming into the brain is then interpreted in a logical way. But the emotions we feel are first of all felt and reacted to before we even have a chance to interpret them. That's why when we react to a situation and sin, we do it just before we have a chance to notice we've done it. Which is why to change character we need to change the left relational and emotional side of the brain. Train the brain in new emotional reactions to events, the neurons fire together to create a new normal reaction.
@@KJ-lb4tj Nice strawman! Our past experiences cause us to react to present events or comments in certain ways which may or may not correspond to any original intention the other person had. "Interpretation" in this case refers to the existing neurological configuration already in place in our brain that has taken its shape over time. It's essentially the same as "reaction".
I found myself falling into this, thankfully the Lord opened my eyes!
Me too!
Amen! Same here
What exactly did you fall into?
Listening to the noise of the world and its effect on my thinking. It's all confusion to mask the real truth. I found myself thinking my values were too strict.. hmm
@@KJ-lb4tjthey fell into the leftist habit of manipulating and exploiting people’s compassion and empathy while ignoring the facts of the opposing view. It’s changing the meaning of words to evoke people’s compassion for others.
Examples: “trans women are women”. No they’re not.
“Abortion is healthcare”. After all no caring person would deny another’s ability to get healthcare right? Yet they obfuscate or flat out deny that abortion kills a human life.
Atheists love using this tactic against Christians, re: “We had slavery once so you should discriminate against other races in 2024 to make things fair else you don’t care about black people”.
Its interesting how people equate affirmations with being quick to listen and slow to speak. Affirming someone is not listening, it is speaking, and telling them they are correct; it is making a judgement before investigating and asking questions to get all the facts.
I have experienced toxic empathy and it was a big part of why we left our other church. I was labeled a racist just for saying we needed to get facts before we assume the news narrative over the summer of 2020 and also questioned the mainstream narrative of COVID and it made them so angry, they badgered me and said I was not being empathetic.
If they had left it at that and then didnt attack my posting Bible scriptures against fear and worry and my belief that we were attacking people over non-salvation or sin-based issues that were merely empathy and not compassionate.
We dont stroke fear in people and protect their emotions of fear and worry but lovingly challenge it.
I was labelled a Pharisee for wanting to decide whether my family masked or not or vaxxed or not or decided we were raising our kids to see people as people and not base on skin color but on character- that was our white privilege showing (I am not 100% white and no one bothered to ask).
So toxic… loving people is not just agreeing with everything they say bit discussing and speaking truth in love and kindness- no “niceness” and “empathy”….compassion and love.
Just curious - where was this? You don’t have to be specific. Just the general area is enough.
We left our church due to a similar situation. We were told that our reasoning was due to “preference” & not from a “conviction” God led us to.
The issue is black and white dualistic Christian thinking and not allowing for other points of view. I can hold a different point of view from you and still be in relationship with you Don't think it's got much to do with empathy.
Those sound like bad Christians or they have the bad Christian mob mentality. Please read this:
I was attending a tent revival many years ago being serviced by a now known crook, Don Stewart. At the time everyone but myself loved this guy. I even worked in what he called his ministry (the Don Stewart Association or DSA in the Harvest end of the ministry) but what I saw as his personal bankroll dept.
I stepped out of the tent as his pretend preaching reached a fever pitch. As a Christian I was confused at the time as he seemed exactly as he was. Insincere and unGodly.
Then it got somewhat quiet and I heard murmuring. I stepped back in and saw almost everyone holding up their wallets and praying God to fill it as they then all pulled out money and passed the hat so to speak to give to,, Don.
In case you don't know. Don Stewart lived in a mansion, in a guarded, gated community. Next door to Charles Barkley, bragged how he wore 50 dollar socks (this was in the early and mid 90's) and lived VERY opulently with his second or third wife who dripped in jewels.
I couldn't hold my mouth shut and still wouldn't to this day. And told my soon to be in-laws and friends in private and quietly later, what I thought of what they were doing and how he was a crook.
They were FURIOUS at me and I seem to remember Pharisee and other very untrue and unkind biblical labels being hurled at me as well as my job being imperiled.
I stuck to my guns and refused to ever, EVER attend any service that man was even at. Of course a few years later I was proven correct. The sad part is, is that even if I was wrong I wasn't allowed my beliefs or opinions on a matter. Not only were they cruel when I was kind, they were also attempting to use God and the bible against me.
I was given apologies years later for both actions.
Pray for these people and I'd recommend writing them a truthful letter explaining how you had a RIGHT by GOD to your thoughts and actions and that right or wrong on the science you still had a choice and they were wrong to throw God against you. Not only were you correct that masks are USELESS against viruses and HARMFUL to wear period and that vax is highly questionable and completely unnecessary as natural immunity is stronger. It was their actions toward you that was what was truly wrong.
Then go to another church.. If they ever come back to what being a Christian is. Then it's up to you as it always should have been.
Sounds like it was the shakeup needed to get you into a better church. God bless.
I'm very empathetic however, my sense of right and wrong and of love is well established and rooted in the Word of God.
In brief, I would say the problem with empathy and inclusion as they are popularly conceived is that they countenance departure from truth.
Thank you. Jesus said, IAM THE WAY THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE. NO ONE COMES TO THE FATHER BUT BY ME.
You really have a talent for handling controversial subjects. I have found no other channel like yours that is the truth.
This is wonderful timing!
I just had a difficult conversation with one of my grandchildren this weekend. Trying to help her not project what she thinks may be harmful to somebody in the situations were not necessary this is exactly what she’s feeling is all this projected empathy, so thank you.
This show was really good for me to listen to. It helped me reflect on my thoughts and feelings regarding politics/theology/etc, but also my parenting. I realized that sometimes my empathy for my kids can cloud my judgment on how to best address a situation in the moment. It caused me to realize that… perhaps empathy ISN’T the most important thing in parenting as I have read/heard everywhere! It is exhausting and confusing! Yes, empathy is important, but it isn’t above truth/facts. Thank you, Allie!! Also, I’m open to input if I have missed something in applying this the way I did! Thanks, guys! 🙂
I think misunderstanding empathy is one of the biggest issues here. Empathy should help you as a parent and simply as a human being trying to understand and actually hear where another human being is coming from. It has nothing to do with truth, morals or beliefs. If we understand what empathy actually is, I think the whole thing would clear up. Empathy is listening to understand someone fully to the point where they can say yes, that's exactly what I'm thinking and feeling, you've totally understood me. Then you are free to say, I hear and understand your thoughts and feelings and opinions, here's how mine differ. You've got a much better chance of being heard yourself, even if you both hold very different beliefs and opinions. But you've both chosen to fully hear and understand the other person.
I think you are correct. Empathy and inclusion should NOT be our priority! We lose sight of the truth of the gospel when we put ourself or others first. As a Christian, I am learning that my true role in society is to warn them of hell and eternal damnation. I am saddened that our young people are being led astray by focusing on feelings. Feelings are so individual. How do you deal with everyone’s feelings without leaving someone out in the cold? We can’t all be correct. Our feelings change when we’re tired, happy, sad, angry etc. There is no solid foundation.
Well stated. As I tell my grown daughters- everyone wants to be so sensitive and nothing gets accomplished with out legislate discourse. Everyone can not be right, but relativism has taken rationale and reason and placed on the periphery with out a centered hub
Well said!
Mmm. I think we have a case here of not understanding that God is a very emotional being. Our feelings change for a purpose and reason. Jesus threw chairs down the synagogue steps because he was very angry. God wants to divorce Israel because he is so annoyed and frustrated with them, yet shows incredibly mercy and love over and over Jesus weeps because he's sad and sweats blood because he's so disturbed scared and anxious about his upcoming torture. Jesus is embodied and feels all that we feel. God made us with feelings because they matter enormously. Firstly we cannot love God with all our heart soul and mind if we do not understand that love is an action and a feeling. I sing worship and love god with all my being, that includes my feelings. Paul brand, the missionary doctor has a great book on the death sentence that having no feelings is. For leprosy patients, no feeling means they can have their hand in a fire or be sawing thru it and not know. It's also dangerous to not pay attention to what you are feeling if a dangerous person is in your midst. Your gut tells you whether to run fight or freezer in a bad situation. Those without the ability to feel and understand others, extreme autism, are at such a disadvantage and need to simply learn to interpret facial responses to know if someone might be happy or sad or angry etc. We aren't all 'correct', but we are all feeling what we feel. Learning emotional and relational maturity means we learn deeply how to interpret our feelings and pay close attention to them to understand why I'm feeling what I'm feeling. Is this feeling warning me, is this feeling an overreaction because of a past hurt, is it pointing out danger or understanding or is it false guilt? You see we need to feel our feelings deeply to then use the left brain to make sense of them. But to ignore them is to ignore something God given and necessary for understanding our world and situations and self.
I just learned a good lesson. Toxic empathy & inclusion, it's like embellishing overly embracing opposing views. Thanks for a very informative video! Carry On!
Empathy is empathy. If you use anything in an unhealthy or wrong way .. It becomes toxic. Empathy is understanding another person fully. It has nothing to do with beliefs or truth or morals. It's simply understanding exactly where the others person is at.
I agree that you’ve hit the nail on the head with all of us!!! I’ve been wavering between both sides for quite some time now. I’ve been listening to the conservative side and some more liberal stuff as well. I feel like I can be confident and sure that biblical Justice is so different than what we think social Justice is. Not only does toxic empathy apply to race, but the church is dividing over lgbtqiaplus issue as well because of toxic empathy. Thank you for being willing and able to stand against the waves of our culture.
Thank you for speaking on this toxic empathy inclusion issue. We must remain loving BUT truthful. We want people to turn from sin and come to faith in Christ alone. NOT accepting everything, which doesn't bring ANYONE to true faith.
Another spot on message! This extreme virtual signaling is oppressive. I'm learning to scale back the empathy that is actually natural for me but is an exhausting personality trait of mine. My walk with Christ is what I want to focus on not taking on people's emotions
I think you are right... some of the empathy peddlers are really manipulators.
Its' the same axis - just opp radical ends - of victim/ perpetrator and tyrant/slave. They usu suffer from PTSD and want 'justice' for their unresolved past hurts. "Hurt ppl hurt".
@@kaitlynkarol4600if it were just “hurt people hurt” I’d agree with you, but this goes far beyond that. This is emotional weaponization.
Toxic empathy is exploiting and manipulating others to guilt them into believing as you do while ignoring the facts of the opposing argument.
Examples: “If you don’t vote for this black female candidate, you don’t care about black people”
“Slavery existed in the past so if you don’t discriminate against other races in 2024 to right the wrongs of the past then you’re racist and don’t care about blk people”
“Abortion is healthcare so if you don’t believe in abortion you want to deny women needed healthcare”
Such BS.
Empathy is a flawed concept: It tends to follow in-group preferences. That's why President Healing and Unity said he understood the anger of vaccinated people towards the unvaccinated, before berating the unvaccinated for holding out.
It also tends to be what you think the other person feels, rather than what that other person actually feels.
Empathy is not thinking what the other person feels. Empathy is understanding the other person to the extent that you can say back exactly what they are saying to you and they can say yes that's exactly what I'm saying. It's excellent listening skills. It has nothing to do with believing the same thing as them or anything to do with truth or morals. It's simply understanding another person completely.if you think you know what the other person feels rather than actually what they think and feel... You have absolutely not got the concept of empathy and you have absolutely not understood them at all.
The concept is not flawed, but certainly the understanding of it is at times. A concept is a concept. How you use it and how you understand it are different.
This is extremely well put. I suggest we listen to it 2-3 times before forming an opinion. 🙏🏻
Excellent video! My.pastor touched on this same topic this past Sunday. Had my teenage daughter watch as well as she has friends I feel are caught up in this toxic empathy.
So so good!! As an "empath," I tend to pick up and feel people's emotions almost instantly when I enter a room... among other things. It's exhausting both physically and mentally. My strong reaction to other people's pain and emotions is involuntary and I wish I had an on and off switch. Praying for discernment and truth have helped me immensely.
I concur. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have that gift. Taking on other peoples bs is very exhausting.
Did you have childhood trauma? Most empaths have trauma/pain and that is where the heightened sense of people’s emotional states are so transparent to us.
Christian,
Thank you and please keep up the good fight
“One voice calling out in the wilderness
Making straight the way for the Lord”
You are so clear and to the point backed by facts and faith
God bless you and your family
I am grateful for your integrity. Thank you for all you do. God Bless.
Thank God he allows me to live after I had an abortion when I was young and ignorant! I am pro life from the womb to the tomb !
precision.
God is good...
Maybe though you give out too private a matter online.
❤️🌈
@@ByDesign333 why? Because we should care what people think when God has forgiven us?
I praise GOD for your willingness to speak truths that are nearly unheard of. I have felt judgmental when desiring to ask questions instead of merely believing someone's experience.
Thank you!!!!!
As the parent of a special needs young adult child I saw ,as she was growing up, the word inclusion being changed from a legitimate concern and need for these special needs kids to taking on a different meaning. One that piggybacked on the empathy for these kids and the special needs community. In other words, something that held legitimate value, like seeing the God given worth and value of the special needs community became entangled with something completely different, which was being tied to other marginalized groups. What I’m finding now is that those marginalized groups have now taken front and center and the ones they rode the coat tails of, the special needs and disabled communities, have been thrown out like the baby with the bath water. I’m not sure if this makes sense but this is what I’ve seen happen in front of me. I’m also not certain that I’ve relayed well what I’m talking about. I hope so. I just know that a legitimate cause was high jacked completely.
That makes sense. I’m a PT and work in pediatrics. Individuals with disabilities are really the minority. Other groups take the attentions off of them and many aren’t able to speak and advocate for themselves. Hugs to you, mama! I’m regularly impressed and inspired by the families I get to work with 💜
I worked in special Ed several years and totally agree!!!
Yes! I’m a special needs mom, too, and though my children are young (so I’m newer to this community) I understand what you’re saying. 💝
Agree..inclusion meaning has been hijacked as has the pronouns they.them (how confusing will it be for kiddos learning about sentences,etc!)and the word gay that used to mean happy!
I'M also a mom with TWO special needs kids. Now they are adults and I've seen the shift from standing up for those without a voice to now this new "marginalized" class.
THE WORD OF GOD IS TRUE praise God praying for everyone everyday God bless you all
You explained this very well Allie thank you for empowering us. God bless and keep you!
Thank you SO much for this!! Such a very needed episode!! I am a police wife and this is beyond true, but I had to learn the hard way and it was a painful but necessary process.
I raised my children to empathize with everyone and they do…now it’s very hard for them to deal with me saying that celebrating homosexuality and promoting trans ideology and locking hands with BLM is unbiblical. This is pretty much all that we argue about these days.
Empathy is understanding someone from their perspective, not believing the same thing as them.
I feel your pain! I have the same this going on with my daughter…
Stick to your proverbial guns. As Christian's, we are not to confirm & celebrate unbiblical lifestyle's. We are to stand firm in God's truth & protective wisdom😇
Empathy /= Love, and that's a lesson I learned the hard way in college. It wasn't until I experienced a slew of mental health problems in my senior year of college and was forced to move back home, and as a result became Christian, that I really started to understand what real Love is. 1 Cor. 13 was a huge help to me in this time, and watching my parents care for me while not putting up with my nonsense really showed me what love is and how to love others. Having empathy is good, and I would argue that it is important, but valuing empathy over love and compassion is where we get into danger
Thank you for this video! It has helped me to understand the difference between being empathetic, and true Christian love. We need to know the truth and to be discerning. You have helped me to separate the two. Love your informative videos!
It's great that someone as young as you are taking on some very important topics that are stream lining our society & using the word of God to explain it! Truth that's what matters, also I'm glad that you're teamed up with preborn, if we could just get the word out we could help save many lives!
Truth without love is meaningless
You make a good point, here. I haven't heard anyone else speak on this before in such an articulate way.
There is nothing wrong with empathy - empathy is different from blind acceptance of unbiblical ideas. Society has hijacked terms that go beyond natural language evolution.
Yeah that's why I'm confused listening to this and reading the comments. Psychopaths are void of empathy. I'm an empath and I research things a hundred times several different ways before I ever blindly accept anything as truth. So my head is spinning in confusion here.
@@goodmorningsundaymorning4533 its been made to confuse. God is not a God of confusion. The term has a real meaning. If someone uses any thing in a toxic way... Its toxic, the Bible is toxic if used in the wrong way.
Anyone notice how her “side part” has been slowly moving to the center?! 😆 Love you Allie B!!
I didn’t notice, but now I will.
Hairdressers say you should occasionally change your part to prevent hair loss.
You've put into words what I've been trying to elaborate for the past 3 years. Thank you.
Thanks!
what a great opening explanation of the point of this video...she knocked it out of the park...
Allie, I appreciate that you specify that not ALL empathy is bad. That you wisely distinguish a difference between healthy and unhealthy empathy. It IS an important discussion the church needs to have since people who grow up with codependent parent and narcissistic or psychopathic or sociopathic parent...Love rejoices in the Truth and sadly toxic relationships do NOT rejoice in the truth but rather in lies upon lies upon lies and deception of many layers. People in church often times in cognitive dissonance take the stance that God can do anything, but in a foolish manner, siting the one example of Pharaoh who God stated He would harden Pharaoh's heart but ignoring or unbenowst to other folks in the church, there was a place Jesus went to that He did not perform the miracles and do the works He might have done because of the people's hardness of heart. Proverbs dedicates whole sections to the characteristics of schemers, wicked men and women as warnings to NOT let ourselves become like those wicked people but also to guard wisely how close we let them because bad company corrupts good character and we as Christians should be striving in the opposite direction, toward one day trading this corruptible flesh for an incorruptible "body" in heaven.
Feelings come and go but the word of God is Absolute, the same yesterday today and forever more! Truth is Love! Thanks Allie great podcast 💙💜
Excellent episode. Thank you, Allie Beth. 🙏🏼
Very wise - empathy does overshadow what is really going on.
What does that mean?
Empathy is the ability to understand others feelings and imagine what they might be thinking and feeling. It has nothing to do with truth or right or wrong or morals. It's not a dualistic black and white issue. It's simply listening and understanding another person and where they are coming from well.
It actually understand and makes true meaning of what is going on.
(2/3)
Yet when I hear of the stories and the way injustices work within a system I have to understand and listen. I think the evidence of being QUICK to listen is when we can come together to hear one another out.
And I THINK that peoples frustration and not wanting to talk to you ABS is because (and these are the reasons I’ve heard) is that they HAVE been trying to for years and the conversations never lead to change.
We often see singular events and determine what is and is not racially influenced and I think it wiser to listen to and platform and invite leaders of other view points to show us just how it’s not about a singular event portrayed one way or another by the media. It’s about how we got here in the first place.
When Allie is right, she's RIGHT!!! This particular take is 1000% correct. The only thing is that I feel she could have gone even further. What Allie calls Toxic Empathy, I would call False Compassion. This is where people try to pretend that they are more compassionate than GOD ALMIGHTY!!!
It's just another example of virtue signaling. These fools have no real virtue so they have to go around pretending to be good or nice to make up for being so empty and w/out much purpose in their lives. Ppl today are so unbalanced and so naive and blind b/c they follow randomness instead of real purpose.
Leviticus 19:15 (Adv): "Ye shall do no unrighteousness in judgment: thou shalt not respect the person of the poor, nor honor the person of the mighty; but in righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbor."
And thou shalt use another language that no one uses just for dis-ease and lack of clarity and understanding whilst people are desperately trying to get the Bible translated in their mother tongue. Use the actually English language when speaking to English speakers... It all helps in communicating.
Doug Wilson and Joe rigley have a great episode on "The Sin of Empathy"
I need to listen to that one too. 💜 . So tired of being empathetic towards people who shut me down the minute I need someone to listen to my feelings
So good! Thank you Allie Beth!
Empathy is not a virtue. However, it allows a person to "virtue" signal without actual accountability or ever really doing something. Compassion is a virtue that entails empathy with beneficial, accountable actions. But, even compassion can become a vice.
I learned 20 years ago with our teenager “facts don’t matter” my husbands “compassion “ was “real”…UNTIL I handed my son over to him for 6 months to deal with. When feelings rule… everything falls apart😳
@@heatherredden6642 sounds like a lack of emotional and relational maturity skills .
Absolutely anything can become a vice when used in a wrong way... Toxic.
People often confuse indulgence with compassion .
Any narcissist will know and operate out of self indulgence and not compassion. But what's the point?
@@KJ-lb4tj the point is a sense of being right and superior
@@nancybaumgartner6774 and help me to understand how that relates to confusing compassion and indulgence?
I marvel at how fast you can talk.
Can someone please get this episode into Beth Moore’s earbuds?
Those earbuds are unsubmitted ; Moore is all about Moore .
I agree, Nancy, however have to admit as a young Christian many years ago her studies gave me a hunger to go deeper, by God's grace only thay hunger has not stop thankfully !
Let's lift Beth in prayer 🙏 for self examination and God's beautiful grace ❤️
This is excellent. I have listened to Joe Rigney and Doug Wilson on this topic and wondered if you have, as well. If not, you would enjoy their discussion (‘Man Rampant’ on the Canon App). So important to distinguish empathy from biblical love and kindness in pointing people to Christ. Love your show!
Empathy is a word that has a meaning. Any word or concept that you misuse or misunderstand becomes toxic. Empathy is simply understanding someone else fully. It has nothing to do with taking on someone else's emotions beliefs or morals. Empathy has nothing to do with beliefs truth or morals. It's probably the thing Christians are poorest at, actually taking the time to truly listen to others and find out where they can start with someone, the place where the person is open in some way to discussion. Without empathy we simply cannot say we truly understand another, we just don't love them enough (as made in God's image) to take the time with them as Jesus did and does.
Absolutely love your new sponsor!
Your brain is amazing. Thank you for what you do.
9:55 I'll give you another example.
There were riots in France in 2005. They began with police chasing two young "Arab" (Kabyl?) immigrant children to their death.
The riots, as far as I can recall, killed no one. Police cars were burnt, so were public schools.
And one library.
My reaction was, the French school system was oppressive against Muslim students expressing Islam (as obviously, even more my concern, against Catholic students expressing Catholicism or Evangelical ones expressing the Evangelic type Christian standpoints and values) and France was oppressive against alternative schools. So, the riots had my sympathy - except for the library. It may have contained very unislamic books, but Islamic high school students are not required to stay in the library, they are free to keep out of it.
I was singled out as the typical dupe of things like BLM - and in 2015, the politics actually adopted by France had provoked more than just riots. Like ten years later, people actually did get killed by terrorists. Some of which had been in high school back in 2005.
We are expected to demonstrate outrage and empathy without taking the time to gather facts.
I've said just about anything she's mentioned throughout this video verbatim and I've been called every name under the sun, including the ones she mentioned in this video. It's refreshing to know someone else thinks and says the same things I do.
Scream this from the rooftops! 🙌
Also, many people make a huge error when it comes to empathy. They believe that it is actually sympathy. Sympathy for me is really difficult to drum up. There are very few people that I feel sorry for, not that there's never been a time that I felt sympathy but that is where most people get into it into the wrong path logically speaking.
I was a First time listener today. My thoughts were that we should empathize with basic/universal emotions like sadness, fear, anxiety. But not to empathize with secondary emotions like shame, guilt, anger. We see a lot of secondary emotions….. anyway, good topic.
What on earth does that mean? Shame guilt and anger are all universal emotions and anger is a primary one. Why would we try to understand some emotions and say, hey wait a minute I'm not going to acknowledge or try to understand why you are feeling shame or anger or guilt right now? One of the first emotions mentioned in the Bible after love was shame. It's incredibly meaningful. Jesus got very angry and threw chairs down the synagogue steps. But, hey, we should not try to understand why someone has shame (as God did with Adam and Eve) or why someone is angry, like Jesus was... Where is the sense in any of that?
Politics are a mess, and empathy is certainly weaponized, but I'm very hesitant to view the solution as having less empathy. I think it's possible to have strong empathy and still stand strongly in your beliefs. Rather than undermining empathy, I'd prefer to reinforce truth.
""For when the understanding, unclouded by passion, acts freely and clearly, it is able to detect the truth and to penetrate into the evil which is hidden under a fair appearance and into the good which is veiled by a semblance of evil" - Spiritual combat - Lorenzo Scupoli
I’ve done this all my life in different ways in different contexts, it can be enablingI,wish I had been aware of it sooner. Unfortunately only mean people would tell me not to “care’ so much so I wouldn’t listen. It can prevent people from seeing how they get themselves into situations or prevent them from standing on their own.
i think you did a good job explaining all of it.
(3/3)
Have you even researched all the current allegations and racism going on in the SBC? Who btw were the one’s that started this “attack empathy” campaign?
I really wish you would as a Christ follower have people like a Jemar Tisby on your show so that once and for all we could all get clear understanding on the issues we face today instead of hearing one sided views.
I’m not saying you ABS are racist nor am I attacking you.
I’m just saying we could be a little more informed beyond singular events pushed from social media.
We have to take into account the history of policing (while I’m NOT about ending the police) when we consider statistics from the police.
As well as incidences unmentioned by those given statistics.
We have to look at our circles of church families and make sure they are diverse and not only representing our views.
This is what draws so many people away from the gospel after LGBT issues, including my sister-in-law 🤦
If she departed from us, she was never from us.
The news media will often appeal to people's empathy to distract them from the truth of what is happening elsewhere or in the big picture. Empathy can be a good thing, but it isn't always.
I definitely agree with a large part of this insofar as critical thinking and truth have to be the filter for empathy, but I take issue with multiple parts of your presentation of the issue at hand. What you are describing, such as with the police incidents, is a populace who is manipulated through their ego- what you mentioned as the desire to be seen a certain way. Equally problematic is the issue of codependency- not having boundaries with the pain of others. Lastly is the role of media propaganda and reporting bias. None of these have to do with empathy, and I think empathy is a misidentification in each of these situations. The dictionary definition of empathy is the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts and emotions of another without having them communicated in an objectively explicit manner. That said it is not exclusively emotional though this is a part of it. There are different types of empathy to consider as well. All of this to say, if truth is being discarded and the ego prioritized then it is no longer empathy at play at all. That is solipsism and codependency- depending on others to respond to me in a certain way in order for me to feel good (social media and virtue signaling are the perfect examples). So, I think you make a good point that truth must always be the filter for empathy. At the same time, I think it's a misidentification to say that empathy is the problem- it is not empathy itself that is toxic, it's operating out of the ego and allowing oneself to be manipulated by mass media, doing whatever is going to protect my self-image the most and minimize discomfort and conflict.
Don't have time to watch yet, and not sure this is EXACTLY what you're getting into, but at least tangentially related, for sure (headlines):
"Dark" Personalities Are More Likely to Signal Victimhood
Research suggests a link between dark triad traits and victim signaling."
(Psychology Today, August 27th, 2020. This one contains a link to the actual study in the first sentence of the article)
AND
"Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Manipulators Are More Likely To Engage in 'Virtuous Victim Signaling,' Says Study"
(Reason, July 7th, 2020)
Empathy is a feeling. Feelings are not a trustworthy compass. We aren’t to be led and guided by our feelings. We are to be led and guided by truth. The truth trumps feelings every time. God’s word will always be the highest good for all.
Sympathy empathy and compromise are the devil's favorite tools.
I'm learning this right now. Thank you for helping strengthen me here.
Also for some reason it's not showing up in my view history. You may be being shadow banded.
- the song DESERT ROSE/The musician & songwriter ,Sting
Thank you for using your gifts to help others! God Bless your sacrifice. Doing the same in my corner of the world.
What Sacrifice is that? She's getting paid a lot and didn't have to leave her room?
@@KJ-lb4tj Maybe you are not a writer or public speaker, but for every hour you speak, hours of preparation have to go into it. One cannot be present for a family and be speaking to an audience at the same time. Also, putting her views out there to the public is very vulnerable....so you demonstrate by your quick and shallow criticism of her. When you reach out to help others with unpopular views, you get slammed...indeed a very great sacrifice.
@@nancymessner8476 one she's choosing to do that... Slams or praise. Two she's getting paid for it and it's her job. Is that not the same for many and most jobs you choose to do. No one forces her to do this.
New to the channel! I get it now: you do what other people are afraid to do, speak truth [in love]!
So true. Bless you.
I get how empathy could blind one from facts. However my concern is that we often take a case and talk about “waiting for the facts” WITHOUT understanding the behind the scenes systematic injustices going on that even set up these police shootings/etc.
I don’t feel like all of us wanting to “wait for the facts” are racist and I get how (as a white man myself) getting canceled and wrongly accused is going to happen. Even though I am investing into looking into these unjust causes and bearing one another’s burdens…
But again, I won’t let any man, white, black, brown etc stop me from my calling or finding Christ solutions even if they are against me helping. God is my maker and not man and I didn’t get my calling from man.
So I hope we don’t also adversely “react” where we still need to press in.
If anyone has seen “When They See Us” story about the Jackson 5 who were wrongly accused of a rape. That alone has shown me how my “wait for the facts” approach can also be miss-informed. (1/3)
I so appreciated this episode! My husband and I are raising our three girls in a very social justice-minded community and to say we feel like outsiders would be an understatement. This episode feels like it perfectly articulated the reasons we feel so disconnected. Being late to this podcast, I would love to know if the teachings of Brene Brown have every been addressed here. I feel like her message can fall into this or even promote this idea. I once listened to a talk between Brown and author Austin Channing Brown on the difference btwn white Jesus and black Jesus. I would love your perspective on this; I found it so toxic, but I’m wondering how prevalent this concept is within other faith communities.
Can you explain what you mean here? You say you feel like an outsider to a social-justice minded community that you are raising your girls in. Do you want to understand it more?
Which teachings exactly of Brene brown are you talking about? And what idea is her message promoting? Social justice?
What did you find toxic about the talk on white Jesus, black Jesus? And which concept are you talking about that you are wondering is prevalent in other faith communities? Whether Jesus was a white man or a middle Eastern man?
It's impossible to respond to this comment unless you make clear statements, ideas and questions.
Saying you’re an empath is THE narcissistic virtue signal of 2022.
Right I would think a true empath wouldn’t want other people to know that they were one to protect themselves. A true empath would know better.
Being empathic is a skill you can learn. How to listen well to someone to the point that they can say, yes that's exactly it, you totally understand me. That's the opposite of being narcissistic.
@@KJ-lb4tj if you’re truly empathetic, yes. Most people today, especially on the left say use empathy to excuse every sin under the sun. Apparently, you have no idea what I’m talking about. Or, you’re just like everyone I’m talking about and you’re looking for an opportunity to brag about being empathetic. Which is (bring us back to the start) narcissistic.
8:28 What you mean to say is that empathizing with someone can cause you to forego _believing_ certain principles that are more moral or virtuous than the principles that would incorporate that person's experience and alleviate their pain".
And no, it doesn't necessarily. You can stay grounded in reality while also make accommodations for someone's experience and pain. In fact, you could say that someone's experience is literally a part of reality. If it isn't then you would be speaking to a virtual or simulated entity. If you're referring to an actual human being, then their experiences are not fake. They are real and if deterrents of that experience cause mental or emotional pain, then anyone with a moral conscience would take measures to make accommodations for that experience and/or subdue any deterrents of that experience.
This is not about necessarily believing the beliefs the experiences cause, it's about providing accommodations for those experiences which are persistent, uncontrollable and unresolvable... at least with today's technology.
Well said. There's a distinct feeling from this video that the minute you truly understand someone you become like them. Totally the opposite of what empathy is.
Empathy with God is a gift. It helps you Love thy Enemy.
Without God.. its hard to control.
Well said
To say that empathizing with, say, a gay person "blinds you to a more 'objective' reality" is essentially saying that those who actually experience that attraction are literally living in a delusion.
They are blinded to the objective reality that whether they have those feelings/attractions they are still wrong/sinful because they contravene God’s law and are fundamentally incongruent with his created order. That’s the delusion, not whether they actually have the attractions or not.
Great color dress for you, Allie! 💐
Ms. Stuckey, I am curious about the video on today's (04/13/2022) Patriot Post that shows you speaking about empathy almost being by definition toxic. I'm glad I took to the time to view this discussion (episode 593 of Chistians: Beware of Toxic Empathy), which is entirely reasonable and well thought out. Your piece on Patriot Post, I at least hope, was intended to be satire. Did the satirical nature of what you were asked to do for the Patriot Post impact your decision to use a name different from the one you use here? If so, perhaps you should give some thought to the miscommunication you may be taking part in when asked to speak in a satirical manner. If a reader somehow misses the satirical intention of one of your pieces, they could badly miss your intended points.
God bless you and your efforts to steer Christians away from ignoring truth to achieve the lesser goals of both appearing to be "empathic" and gaining popularity on social media. The real world has some very complicated problems, and most of us know from experience that complicated problems, such as perceived racial injustice in policing that you discuss, are generally not amenable to simplistic solutions that the Left seems to love so dearly... especially when such simplistic ideals are reducible to a 3 word slogan that becomes the mantra of the emotionally over-wrought masses.
Also their empathy doesn’t ever reach those who don’t fit their victim hierarchy!
Love the title, it’s up there with Petersons ideology possession. Plus it’s truth
I enjoy the videos!
Except Peterson absolutely believes in empathy and his arguments are way more precise, honest and intelligent. Actually nothing like Peterson's.
As a naturally empathetic person, I don’t entirely disagree and there are some good points here. However, there is a huge difference in having empathy and being delusional, gullible or just outright hopped up on outrage. You can be deeply empathetic and still have discernment and critical thinking. My empathy doesn’t trump truth and reality. I’d like to think I am not a crazy hormonal woman that lets my deep emotions drown out common sense. 🤷♀️
Today's empathy push is nothing more than "misery loves company". It's based in covetousness and envy.. I should "walk a mile your shoes". Your emotional feelings might be lifted for a moment, but after the mile you're in no better position.
Rather we can better help others in how to obtain new shoes for themselves.
Someone near you who is drowning you have two basic options.
1. Jump in and drown together albeit not alone. (Today's version of empathy)
2. Toss them a life preserver and help pull them out while you maintain your feet on solid ground.
You're right! Our compassions fail but His never do! Give Sharon Hodde Miller's book "Nice" a read. It touches on this stuff
Joel webbon from right response ministries did a video on empathy. He said that empathy was bad and we should have sympathy instead.
Not hurting me but the naive and innocent. Agree. No empathy with the devil. Or for the devil.
ok, I need help. I only watched a couple of minutes, and I really don't know how to get myself to keep on listening to a defense of not prioritizing empathy toward the image bears of God. I love Miss Allie, so I don't get how she could be wrong, but I don't see how she is able to defend this in a way that will make sense. What can I do? In other words, what can I do so that I'm able to listen to someone argue for something that doesn't sound like what I would agree with, and get something good out of the conversation/ argument? I'm asking as someone who isn't arguing rather needs help. Thanks.
Write down questions that pop into your mind (on paper not in comments until it's over).
Imagine situations that "empathy" can paralyze you from making right judgement (pedophilia, adultery, abuse etc.)
God is above all, a God of love. LOVE and the words of Jesus were very rarely nice or about seeing things from the perspective of man, but rather a call to repent and turn to a life of RIGHTEOUSNESS.
Hope that helps.
Some of the best help I got over the years was hearing painful truths from people who really cared about me. It wasn’t easy for them to say it or me to hear it. But facing truth helped me make better decisions and change directions.
I’ll be praying for you.
First of all ask yourself some questions... Because I love someone, are the always right? Do lovely people sometimes get things wrong?
Do I always need to agree with everything someone says? Why would it not be ok to disagree on this issue?
For what it's worth, I personally think the whole issue here is the word 'empathy' and a wrong understanding of what the word means. Empathy means listening to understand someone fully to the extent they can say, yes you totally understand me you get my thoughts and feelings completely. It has nothing to do with beliefs morals or truth. It's simply understanding subscribers thoughts and feelings fully. This allows for you to then say, ok now that I've totally understood where you're coming from and why you think and feel the way you do... Gets where I'm coming from and what I think and feel. It allows for a career for each others differing opinions and thoughts and feelings on any topic.
I think miss Allie is barking up the wrong tree here. A misunderstanding of the term empathy is simply that... People not understanding it
You can be empathetic and not experience emotionalism and not agree with the person. Empathy doesn't mean you agree with the person you are being empathetic with. You then take objective Truth and act compassionately. Truth with love. I agree it can be toxic and can be dangerous but it is not altogether black and white wrong to be empathetic. Compassion is what moves you. I totally understand your fear is empathy and then let me tell you what is true.
So neat you were in auburn. My husband and I are big auburn fans...originally from montgomery al. We live in northern Virginia now. Would love to see you come to a college campus here.
Jesus Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures and that he was buried and that he rose again the third day praying for everyone everyday God bless you all.
You right but i think a lot of people have courage to stand and say things the were forced to belive
Don’t let anyone pressure you into losing your iconic side-part! 😉☺️🥰😘. All love!! But you can do anything you want, girl. You’re gorgeous inside and out, and impacting the world- you are endlessly beautiful! Just had to tease in good fun because I’m always bucking the Gen-Z fashion wave. 😉
I am anti-death penalty too but I wish similar advocates would be just honest about that and move to abolishing the death penalty and stop pushing wrongful claims of innocence when there is no evidence of that. Many people on death row ARE guilty of their crimes.
Something I've noticed is that the death penalty makes people LESS impartial. It makes both critics and advocates of capital punishment MORE extreme and zealot.
8:43 This is ridiculous. Emotions are universally identifiable. If they weren't empathy would be impossible. _Beliefs_ are subjective and don't necessarily correspond to reality.
Absolutely. That doesn't mean that all emotions are helpful in the moment or that we understand them correctly. But we all feel the same emotions. Our emotions don't always correspond to the current reality. We can react and because of past hurt overwhelming emotions can flood us that are disproportionate to the current reality. Or we can feel something until we are given more information, then our emotions change. Beliefs are similar. We can think we know something till we get more information or we are using past information to assess a current situation.
@@KJ-lb4tj No. What you're talking about is _interpretation_ of a situation. That is belief based. Emotions _in and of themselves_ are not subjective. We all are subject to interpretation of the world around us. We carry our past experiences with us which inform what we believe about the world and inform how we go about interpreting the world and how we derive generalized principles from it. Our past experiences can also cause us to recontextualize a comment made to us or an event we witness which then generates emotions in us, emotions which are identifiable and fitting to that individual's interpretation of the event. And no, I'm not saying a person's recontextualization is the way someone else's actions or remarks were necessarily intended to be taken.
It is beliefs and interpretations that are subjective, not the emotions themselves.
And like I said in another comment, you can stay grounded in reality while also make accommodations and mitigations for a trans person's experience and pain respectively. This is not about necessarily believing the beliefs that a trans person's cognitive disposition cause, it's about providing accommodations for that mental disposition which are persistent, uncontrollable and unresolvable... at least with today's technology.
@@ThomasJDavis that would all be true if we don't understand neuroscience. The right side of the brain operates at a speed of 6 cycles per second which is faster than conciouse thought. All of what we sense comes into the brain from the right brain stem and goes thru the right side of the brain before crossing over to the left side of the brain where the sense coming into the brain is then interpreted in a logical way. But the emotions we feel are first of all felt and reacted to before we even have a chance to interpret them. That's why when we react to a situation and sin, we do it just before we have a chance to notice we've done it. Which is why to change character we need to change the left relational and emotional side of the brain. Train the brain in new emotional reactions to events, the neurons fire together to create a new normal reaction.
@@KJ-lb4tj Nice strawman!
Our past experiences cause us to react to present events or comments in certain ways which may or may not correspond to any original intention the other person had.
"Interpretation" in this case refers to the existing neurological configuration already in place in our brain that has taken its shape over time. It's essentially the same as "reaction".
Outstanding video.
This was good!
Anybody know what previous episodes that Allie discussed the death penalty in? Would love to go back and watch it!