Why Dads Don't Raise Autistic Kids: How Men Really Feel
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- Опубліковано 18 жов 2024
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This is powerful. I think there's so much benefit to hear and listen to a man's point of view. This is brave to be so vulnerable to help others heal and grow. Bless you.
yes but mums have no option, you can't say i am giving up my family or my children because everything is too hard to bear....
its tough for both mum and dad but especially mum ..thats what i think,,,
@pluffshangazi8487 I know what you mean 😿😿
Discovered your channel and story a month ago and have been riveted. I was a single dad of 3, my oldest is in the autism spectrum. He is on his 30s now and is doing ok. He has his own apartment and has found his way in life. Stick with it and your daughter will surprise you
I think a lot of issues in the world could be solved if people were more humble and had more empathy for others. ❤
Well said👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Also, just have more conversations be honest and open and your relationship with your partner not a lot of people do that either.
Amen!!! 😢❤
Precisely! Imagine the world we'd be living in if people could put themselves in others' shoes?
If a man leaves his family because of an autistic child, he abandoned his responsibilities, regardless of the reason. Men leave children all the time, there's ALWAYS a reason. Why is the "WHY" so important when the reality is now the responsibility is left on one person. How is it "Nothing wrong with that" (giving up). Why does a woman have to make a man care or try. Both parents feel the burden and put in work, and the woman must take on the extra burden of begging a man to stay, care, not run, and man up. This isnsome weak bs tbh. Giving excuses to deserters. They are both getting shot on the battlefield, a woman must nurse him back to health, but who nurtures and helps that womam that is taking care of man and child
I personally don’t think there’s no excuse. Women have to swallow their emotions and feelings all the time and push on. We are suppose to be everyone’s backbone
There's something wrong with a person running from their problems. Immaturity is the main reason men run. Regardless of what a person feels, thinks or believes when you make the decision to become a parent, you have made a choice for the remainder of your life to be responsible. To leave because your child didn't turnout to be what you expected, is indefensible as well as incomprehensible. You will never be able to justify a person walking away from their responsibilities, ever, so please STOP!
Yup. This is a black father issue
@@8213apice No, I couldn't disagree more. Having worked in the court system for many years, I've seen fathers of ALL races and ethnicities walk away from their families. So this has absolutely nothing to do with race, this has everything to do with a person maturity.
@@lindamaynard9107She never said this is ONLY A black father issue, she was just saying in general; which is true in the black community. She's stating her experience viewing the patterns of a community she most likely belongs to. Relax.
@@doll.ov.poetrii4682 may be you can accept generalizations about a particular group, whether she used ONLY or not, is irrelevant. That fact remains, this trait has to do with maturity of an individual than ANYTHING else. No I know some phenomenal black men, who not only supported and raised their offspring, but in some instances the offspring of their wife's previous relationship!
My Husband watches you guys with me. Very proud Dad and Step Mum to two wonderful beautiful kids who have autism. ❤
You’re a wonderful father. We can all see the true unconditional love you have for Mikko.
My three year old daughter was diagnosed with ASD 5 months ago. Her father and I co-parented her. When he found out, he stopped coming to see her. He ghosted his daughter and hasn’t replied to any messages from me since. All because she is special needs, and not “perfect” in his eyes.
Her step father, my current fiancé, loves her unconditionally and has stepped in to be here for her. He researches everything about ASD, and tries so hard to be the best male role model for her. I appreciate men like you, and my fiancé, that can love their children no matter who the child is.
May the almighty God bless you and your fiance. He sounds like a wonderful man. You're blessed with a wonderful man❤❤
Tale as old as time. I'm glad your baby still has YOU❤
The dad who stepped up.
First and foremost, thank u for sharing this heartfelt video. It's good to see Mikkos twin (smile), and just as important, that you shared so emotionally and deeply with us!
I'm not sure about anyone else, but I had to conduct a lot of hypothesis and innuendos...but, if I get the gist of it...I hope & pray that you are in marital counseling. ❤
❤start to teach her like Precious right here. Please don't allow her to become a statistic like my granddaughter now 15 years old😢 help her to speak and become a Mekko please. Teach her. It can be done ✔️
You & your wife are truly a class act 🖤
I heard they aren't together anymore
My husband was in denial for a long time but he eventually realized it was true when we got the diagnosis at his age of 3 and a half, and after that he was extremely attentive
Mikko is ADORABLE and I love seeing the beauty of your parenting. I get teary sometimes watching the many gentle moments you both share with her. 😊
My husband is starting to get disappointed at how our son doesn't talk to us. He is 3 and autistic. I think we are very blessed that he is able to sing songs and say a couple of things, but as far as social communication, his comprehension and his speech is about 2 years delayed it seems. He'll get there when he gets there, but in the meantime, we're going to encourage him as much as we can. :)
Same here. The only difference is the father of my child and I are not married and I am the sole custodian of our child. He just straight saying a few simple words and it brings me so much joy. He's not a talker but he's extremely smart and a problem solver.
Just started* saying a few words.
DAMN!! Autocorrect 😩
@@QueenMufasa552
🎯 Autocorrect really suck sometimes.
You have a little boy, love him. Many people who want children are not able to have them❤. Love on your child 🥰.
It’s amazing men can’t take anything stressful when it comes to their children but the moms have too take it all and some. Men are quick to leave the family high and dry without remorse, the mothers in America has to take on both roles because of the weak man/dad not father because at true father hangs in there with his family no matter what. Kudos to the fathers that’s committed to their families. If there’s great stress in the family of any sort please seek out counseling to help and not be so quick to give up. If you have any special needs children/adults in the home please seek help and don’t quit on them they need you in order to make it through.
not all dads should stay, i wish my dad wouldve left sooner. i never wanna see him again, hes not gentle enough for autistic kids or anyone and he can't take any blame. tells me im living in the past when it was my entire life, im not that old and he gave me a guilty conscience because he treated me like i ruined their relationship since my mom loved me more than him, because he abused her. im glad you get it though, not many do nowadays
I see this dad leaving down the road....sorry to say but it will not get easier. The sacrifice of being a parent...have Faith and pray for strength because it's hard for both parents.❤
I agree. Because we have single dads raising autistic children they don’t have that argument or excuse. They have to take the reins and be the dad they need to be. They don’t have the option to leave them with the mom bc he’s their only parent.
@@yolandabulnes6926yeah. He just need a place to stay.
@@yolandabulnes6926 well if that's what you see, it is better left unsaid. Don't sow negative energy to him or the family.
My biological dad left because of me being autistic. My Mom married another man. He adopted me as his own child when I was in second grade. He has been the best Dad ever. He worked hard with me and helped me learn how to do things and how to be a good person and citizen. He taught me how to do things and how to have persistence. He is the best.
God bless him...God bless you, for sharing ❤
Brother, I love these words you have shared. They totally resonated with me. A lot of these things us men go through are the same no matter if we have a child on the spectrum or not. With autism in the picture EVERYTHING is amplified. I am blessed to have an amazing wife. We have tackled everything with our daughter together. I pray you may continue to have the supports you need to be of help to your daughter and your wife.
Thank you for your service in the army. God bless all of you.
I agree wholeheartedly, support is necessary for all sides!
Thank you for sharing your perspective. You are totally right, people jump to conclusions like they know the full story. People are too quick to judge and they need to be aware that they are not in your home to know what is going on.
My son is a hands on dad with all of his kids. However his autistic daughter is now very combative with him. Because of this he is feeling like a failure . He wanted to check out because he can't" fix it". We as a family have to continuously help remind him and support him. Society will have you think that mothers are the only ones that need that support.
Listen daddy l saw the things you did with your daughter now stop that l am soooooooo proud of you singing to her holding her showing her things in the park, l say this with love❤ keep your head up keep going and you will finish the finish lines. I got your back and prayers!!!👏👏👏👏👏👏❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Now stop what!!?? He expressing how he feels did you listen
@@sillyme1642 yes l did l was just giving him encouraging advice don't come for me you are a negative person, did you read what l said!!!
@@Poohsister8 Thank you dear heart. 🥰🥰🥰❤
@@Poohsister8 You to , bless you🙏🙏🙏❤
Chris I'm with you...I work with autistic children and I can't even begin to imagine what parents go through‼️😱😱😱
You’re doing a great job. We don’t tend to see a lot of fathers in the forefront when a child needs more care. You being present in these videos is helping a lot of men out there in similar situations. Representation matters!!! You and your wife are doing a great job on showing the complexities of raising an autistic child. God Bless y’all.
I am proud of you for being vulnerable and discussing something that is so important.
I'm trying to do my & listen to at the same time & I'm crying like someone stole my lunch money. I hope you know how profound your words are and how much of a light you & your family are to the world. We support your, we hear you, and we appreciate you. God bless & thank you.
My boss thinks I'm having a moment
My nephew is autistic and my brother loves him unconditionally. And so do I. Be kind to the children. They are our future
You are an amazing dad. Just you being around your daughter and letting her know you're there is special. God bless you and your family.
In Africa villages some men tend leave wives if a child is born with abnormalities of any kind...I live in a city and father of my Autistic Son is not even interested in knowing what's wrong with our Son...I appreciate your Talk very much, how I wish these men would hear you
There are a lot of amazing dads out here, and Chris you are one of them. Let no one degrade or take away what you are doing for your family, especially with Mikko. I see love, caring, and gentleness. Someone once told me " never allow anyone to make you feel the way you don't want to feel". You know who you are as a person, and that's enough. Somee people don't like themselves and are so judgemental of others. God loves you, and so does The Gentle Life Family.❤❤❤
Watching this made me want to give you a big hug and tell you that you are doing a great job! Hair washing day is a great example of how you both utilize each other’s strengths. Just continue to do that! Thank you so much for the transparency, and caring enough to share! Praying for you and your family that your bond will grow stronger every day!🙏🏾❤️
You are doing amazing! I know some amazing dad's who help with or take on the responsibility of care for their kids with Autism, you are a wonderful example! 🙏
My partner and I have been married over 20 years. We havea teenager, kindergartener and a toddler with adhd and maybe autistic, one with speech therapy and the toddler is on the spectrum. Autism is new to us. I here what your saying. Both parents need to be validated, to vouch for each other’s perspective and healing, to be supported. Because it is incredibly hard to do this job. I think there needs to be more family support from our extended families. We are raising their heritage, we are raising our heritage and our children’s and grandchildren’s. Family and community support and awareness with autism instead of judgement and critiques. I believe we need to keep speaking up about this because there is so much lack of understanding.
I believe Sarah has expressed with her words exactly what I felt when watching this video. I understand what he’s saying. I’ve seen it in many families. I’m so happy that Sarah, who wrote this comment, have her partner to go through this. And that Mikko’s parents have each other too
Stop having kids thinking everybody wants to be apart of their growth and development just because we are related and because they have special needs. Everybody don't want to deal with that. Majority of the time if you have 1 special needs child it's likely you will have another 1. STOP being selfish knowing it was a struggle with the 1st one why would you redo that to you, and the kids? Now your overwhelmed and mad because family doesn't want to help with decisions YOU made. That's why it's called a consultation and you don't have to consultant with your family on the well being of your life and decisions you make, just don't be angry if they aren't riding your wave
I was speaking more in support of this family. There is no way of knowing ahead of time what learning and health challenges there will be with each child if any. And sometimes with previous children those challenges are found out later in their development and age. And I’m speaking more to the frustration about judgement, critique, or straight up getting in the way of parenting children with certain challenges. Making it harder on parents because there is not enough understanding and awareness. There is no judgement here if you choose not to have children or if you do and how many and what may come up when having children. You do you! But thanks for the judgement and critique of my choices and all others who choose to have children and find out later some of them have these challenges in life. Don’t worry I’m not angry. This is life!
@@sarahsheldon5740 Ignore Kenya. Her comment shows a very low education level, a low IQ and the effects of being very poorly raised. She can't be better without the capacity and education of knowing better. The entire topic rises far over her head. Your own comment was on point and very well stated.
I'm a woman and I can understand what you're saying. Thank you. I needed to hear this
Chris you and your wife do an amazing job with Mikko! My son is autistic. He is 32 now. I wish this channel would have been around 30 years ago! Please keep up the good work with Mikko and thank you for your service. ❤😃👍👍♥️
Thank you for sharing. You’re a beautiful soul. May god continue to bless you and your family. ❤
You're just a true dad, calm, collected, and God-change. What God says stands as final..🙏🏾👌✌🏼👍🏿
Hey Chris, there's nothing wrong with letting your feelings out sometimes. You have to or it becomes something worse inside. Learn to ignore haters; they're demons whose only purpose is to try to bring others down to their misery. The way you parent, the both of you, and the way you show Mikko love is always an up-point for me! You're there and it may be hard but you're working on it as best as you can! If I've never thanked you and your wife for your videos, let me say thank you now VERY MUCH! They have helped me smile just when I think I'm going insane and have provided tips to make our lives a little easier. Thank you for being the man you needed to be and saying what you needed to say. God bless your family. P.S.: granddaughter just poured water on my laptop (smile).
I want to offer the perspective of a mother who's already raised an autistic child to adulthood. And had to do it alone. What needs to be said here is that too many men are in denial when told their child has autism, and oftentimes it is vehement denial. They act as if the diagnosis is an assault upon their identity or dignity when autism is just a fact of life to be dealt with. No one has time for that nonsense. A woman who's told she has an autistic child INSTANTANEOUSLY becomes a *thinker*. She recognizes that there's no time for *feeling* because there's too much work to be done and it has to start immediately. She knows she has to hit the ground running, that there are strategies to be laid out, calls to be made, reading to be done, and a lot of very hard work to be done for her child to reach their optimum potential. And that's what we set about doing. In that same moment, men are not *thinking*, they are suddenly in their *feelings* and a lot of them stay in that denial state for weeks, months, or years rather than do what's necessary to get up to speed and be a partner in working with the child. What that leaves the woman with is two needy babies to tend to when one of them is supposed to be grown.
This !!!❤❤❤
You are speaking for a lot of men . I understand where you coming from . Thank you for speaking about this . You are absolutely a good father.
THIS SHOULD GO VIRAL! This is one of the most NEEDED AND PROFOUND videos I've ever seen in my life. THANK YOU for being transparent with us. This here can apply to MANY situations in life. You completely nailed it when you said that if you are able to nurse a man's mental back to health, he will continue the fight. Press play, rewind, and put it on repeat!!!! We appreciate you guys for allowing us the opportunity to GROW WITH YOUR FAMILY. I absolutely LOVE this channel. Keep up the good work. Oftentimes, we think that you all have it all figured out despite all the obstacles you've ensured. But I also realistically know that it comes with growing pains. Thank you for this eye opener!!! May God continue to bless your family.,🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts & feelings with us. It helps me, as wife, understand my husband. Sincerely, thank you.
Everybody giving him credit when it’s the mom who’s doing all the work with their daughter.
I'm praying for your entire house. 🙏🏾
You are so true, a lot of us are guilty of being inconsiderate when it come to our husbands( boyfriends) feeling just assuming he is strong and will be okay. I needed to here this On so many levels my husband and I are 16 years in our marriage and tend to get a bit comfortable of assuming. So thank you I’m listening. You have a beautiful family stay strong One love❤
Guilty after 30+ of marriage.
But if I'm in my nurturing role and I'm overwhelmed with especially a special needs kid, regular kids, work, aging parents, life, life, etc etc and my heart strings and mind are being pulled in ninety nine directions, tap me with gentle, loving communication in some form?? A wink 😉 , a smile, a touch, a kiss, a whisper of 'our phrase' a joke a kind word. ANYTHING positive.
Other than silence or rage and let's pleeeeeeeeeeasea talk about IT 😊
Oh Chris my heart goes out to you and every other parent facing such challenges. I've been so impressed with your gentle style as you soothe Mikko. Thank you for your honesty. This discussion needs to be had and hearing your voice on this channel I'm sure will spark awareness and change. We love you and Precious and really what men need to do is open up like you have. Best wishes for you and your family.
A lot of the time the men's perspective is not prioritised is because it is rare that if you have a child with additional support needs that the man is the default parent of that child or even giving 50/50 care of that child, thats not to say it does not happen. I have 3 Autistic kids from 12 down to 18 months and despite the fact that my family unit is together and myself and my husband have been together for over 13 years, most of that time I have been the default parent. Whether thats due to traditional work commitments etc. So typically the burden is placed on the mother to manage the appointments, do the therapy, advocate for services, apply for provisions, fill out paperwork etc and all of this while trying to balance her own mental health, and caring for the other children and also worrying about her partners feelings. The societal norm is that if a man bows out of the relationship the brunt of responsibilities and caring falls to the mother. Whether they have access to the child and then maintaining co-parenting, let alone a routine within that to best support the child would be mind boggling at best. I think it is a great idea that you are advocating for men's feeling to be heard in this situation, I know when our son was diagnosed at 2 my husband, and he'll admit it himself, was lost and didn't know what to do or how to express himself and deferred to my judgement and then felt like he couldn't express an opinion because I already did everything. On my side of that because I had xyz to deal with it honestly didn't occur to me and that is something that needs to be addressed because he felt unheard and undervalued. Men that are present and willing should absolutely be heard. Having children with additional support needs absolutely can and does break down relationships, and unfortunately not everyone can come to an amicable in those situations and put the child's interests at heart. You and your wife are doing amazing. I do hope there is more advocacy for men in the future as it may actually prevent a lot of miscommunications and relationship breakdowns between families. Keep up the great work
Thank you so much for putting my thoughts into this understanding of parenthood with a special needs child. I truly couldn’t have said it better myself 😂
But he was so focused on himself and not all times that she’s been at home fighting the battles alone while he’s deployed. I think he’s out of the military now but his post left my heart feeling he need her extra love and support and never once mentioned hers. 🤷🏽♀️
Chris, I think this is one of the most amazing, factual, sincere videos I've ever seen. I've had a spinal cord injury for the last 15 years. I've been with my husband for 4.5 years and married 2 days shy of 2 years. I think you made such an important statement for ANY marriage, partnership, and/or relationship. You HAVE to take care of, support, lift up, LISTEN, encourage, and so much more but it comes down to a constant and consistent line of open communication! A lot of men (in my opinion) do have a hard time seeking, asking, or even admitting that they need help, ESPECIALLY emotional or mental and I think it goes back to generations of being taught to not show weakness. But... we are ALL human, we ALL need help sometimes, we can't all be 100%, 100% of the time. You've given me a lot to think about and I plan on showing my husband this video as well tonight. I love your channel and your family. Thank you for this video!
Y’all are doing a amazing job with Meiko y’all are patient loving and caring and that’s what every parent should be stay strong 💪 may god continue to bless you guys ❤ 🙏🏽
Thank you so much for taking the time to let us know how u feel!! This was much needed and hopefully the comments will be much better!!!! You are appreciated and loved!!!
This was clarifying ❤Good job Dad. Keep doing what you do brother❤
I humbly respectfully disagree with almost all your points. Often men get extra consideration in and outside the family dynamic, especially when the home is going through difficult times. Often times it's the standard to worry/be concerned that it can be "too much" for a man to stay and work through things. Partners may go the extra mile to keep the man in the home and happy.
Also when men do "what they are supposed to do" they tend to get much more praise. When it's majority mother's taking on the children and the issues children may present to the family dynamic, it's looked at as the mom just being a mom.
I hope it makes sense.
I am glad you made this video. I value men and I can see that families may suffer if they lack that counterpart.
Agreed. Almost every single point he made through the whole video was based on a number of false premises. Even with perfect logic, if you base the arguments on false premises, you’re going to have a bunch of incorrect conclusions. To make matters worse though, the logic was FAR from perfect, so this just ended up being a bunch of nonsense. I will say though, I appreciate how kind and you were in your reply, and I appreciate him being vulnerable. I also feel that he’s an amazing dad and a great person, even if I do disagree with a lot of the points in the video.
Agreed. You were very kind in your response. This rhetoric makes me sick to my stomach. Nonsense beginning to end.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Would love to hear simply how he feels. Not general terms about “a man”.
What is his “Why?” And what is he going to do about it except run away from the problem?
If he thinks his wife don’t sometimes want to run, he kidding himself.
Regardless - God bless them. I truly love this family and will include them in my prayers.
Omg! Wow! Did you ladies take a minute to at least hear what he was saying and how he tried to explain the difference on how men process things? The man was almost in tears trying to make is understand how to help him help us. He wasn’t complaining, he is literally asking us women to understand how men operate. We always tell men how to treat us, and all he is asking is for us to understand men too. He has not ran from his responsibility, he is just crying for help. U ladies responses prove his point. We are listening to respond instead of hearing from the unspoken words in his emotions. This man is genuinely wanting to be heard and he is not the only man who feels this way. Women have a different capacity n men have their own powers. Together men n women can fix the problem if they wrk as a team. Let’s try to hear him b4 we say his feelings are nonsense. What if he says the sam to us? That our feelings and fears are nonsense?
Having a child is hard work period. No child comes with a handbook. They are all different. Its a learning process on a daily basis. Then put a child with special needs into the mix. Its beyond hard. Sometimes if we are all honest there are days when we felt like we wanted to give up at times raising our children. But, you forge on and do what you have to do. Love them through the temper tantrums and the skinned knees and the not behaving and doing what they where told to do. You where given this beautiful Autistic little girl because she was meant for you and you for her. Look how many people you are helping with your channel. Your doing the best you can. And that is all anybody can do. Sending you love and light.
❤
This was so profound, thank you
You’re amazing. Thank you for this. Also, Mikko is your TWIN!!!
Most of us, we are by ourselves single parents/mums, most men leave!! I have yet to finish your video, I truly support you guys, the way you work with your wife taking care of your daughter it's great!
Both parents are equally responsible for caring for a child regardless of any disability. Both man and woman naturally want a healthy child from conception to delivery. Unfortunately, some children in the womb develop issues such as down syndrome, spina bifida, etc that will affect the child, and parents the rest of their lives. Nurturing women need thinking man to balance each other out throughout it all !!!
❤❤❤thank you all so much and many many blessings to your beautiful family❤❤❤its so Hard sometimes...bit giving up just CANT Be an option....
This is much needed. Coming from a dad accepting a diagnosis of his son. I need help sometimes too. Thank you for this.
Many many blessings to you Chris and Precious! I love The Gentle Life channel and it has blessed me in many ways. I adore little Mikko and she's always in my prayers💝
Thank you for this information.
My grandson has Autism and Speech delay-- i am helping my son raise his son.
I'm just the grandmother and I will continue to help my son and grandson.
You are doing awesome job--STAY STRONG -- YOU GOT THIS.
You and your wife are doing a beautiful job with your babygirl sending love and prayers to you guys. Love you and thank you my daughter is getting ready to have her babyboy tested in June. Thank you so much for sharing your heart. God bless and keep you guys pray for my Grand baby’s father because he was in denial but as you said that man is broken inside🙏🏽🙏🏽❤️
Well done dad ,thank you for sharing your thoughts, on this sensitive subject ,at times people don't release how hard it is to be a family raising a child ,with autism, have a wonderful day ashe.
Baby girl has your whole face!!! Thanks for sharing!!!
As conflicting as your perspective made me feel, I must say that it is also valid! Continue to stand in the gap for your family, and as such you are being an example for many men, especially brothers. Thank you! Power to Miko on this journey. 🙏
You speak the honest truth and we don’t give fathers enough credit in caring for their children whether they have a child with a disability. Nothing but love ❤ and respect here for you and your family. Keep speaking your truth
Love one, thank you! You and your wife are doing a wonderful job with your daughter. God gave your family the gift to help others. You have helped so many people. When your daughter goes to sleep. Sat down with your wife and communicate to her what you are feeling. Listen to each other. Afterwards continue to love on each other. I pray for your family's strength. God bless you for sharing.
And men naturally want to fix. They need to be included.
❤Love you so much. Your words are a blessing. Much Love Papa!
Don't explain yourself. I understood. Mikko has your entire face! Peace and strength to you and your family! You are doing great. Mikko immediately responds to you, I have noticed. Precious does a great job!
You really opened up my mind to a man's point of view. Thank you.
I really appreciate you vocalizing your opinion, brother! I have wanted to get a man's point of view for some time. I am mother of a son with Autism. He was diagnosed at 3 and is now 25. So.....I have been through it. My ex-husband could never really articulate what he needed. I not only took carec of our son, but my bonus son as well who has ADHD. For ME ( my opinion only as well as my clients that I advocate for) , what you shared wasn't always the case. I'm sure that you realize the amount of stress that families go through with a child with a special need. I had done everything you suggested, but my shoulders just were not big enough for ALL he needed, the children, the house, my full time job, dealing with breast cancer, etc. I have to be real....sometimes they just can't take it or would rather not deal with it directly. Now, his father is more involved because we don't live together. I will take that any day over when were together and all of it was put on me. I had Holly and Rodney Peete come for A Day of Inspiration for our Autism Society. He was just blunt with it and said....." I didn't want to deal with" I wanted to do boy things and couldn't " " I wanted to drink it away" It's all in his book...Not my Boy. I understand what men need, but also think about all that we have to build and hold up. It's A lot! I appreciate your honesty and I love your channel! You guys are awesome! God bless!🙏💙🧩
How do you help a man whos not ready to get help for himself? How do you encourage and foster that?
What a touching and inspiring video. There i an old saying what don't kill us makes us stronger. Let your light keep SHINNING. Keep pressing on don't quit. You have a beautiful family.
Y'all are amazing parents. I am sending Y'all love and hugs
Chris your are so blessed to have the gifts of your beautiful Children. Your an amazing man and father. May you continually receive the grace for, love, compassion, gentleness, knowledge , understanding, wisdom, energy , protection , provision and peace that is above all understanding for your amazing journey ❤.
Continue being a good, supportive husband and father. ❤
Mikko is your twin. And I appreciate watching you involved in your kids like but especially baby girl.
What are you rambling on about? So your woman is supposed to be responsible for both how she feels and how you feel? 9/10 times it's essentially a woman's fault that a man left her? So where is the importance of said woman? If she should cator to the emotional needs of her children and of her men, who's gonna be there for her? You said women feel more, so don't they need more emotional support by your own logic?
Dude, it's not that is not important how men feel, it's that when you make a conscious decision to become a parent you understand and accept that you have a new responsibility, responsibility that is MORE IMPORTANT than your feelings. It does not mean you don't matter, but it does put your feelings on the second, or even third place. Chasing after feeling comfort is what differentiates child from a grown-up. Boys cry and ran away, men understand their duties and accept their weight. Which is opposite of what you do here. You just try to lessen the role of your responsibility and underline the role of your feelings. Well, that's freaking egocentric.
You should practice some self-awareness, because the lengths you go to, in order to rewrite the reality, are disturbing.
I care. Bravo!! Such a life lesson. Do this again. Please let us see your other kids and speak about them. You have presented us with heartfelt message.
Well spoken Chris. I appreciate your point of view. There are men in my life that need support and thank you for pointing things out. God bless your family.
Thank you for sharing your experiences, your thoughts and your feelings.
We all need to help and support each other. There are days, as a grandmother in a multigenerational home, that we are all walking wounded. Too injured to bandage up anyone else.
In those moments, on those days, it’s hard to keep others feelings in mind.
I can do better. I try every day.
Blessings of Peace and Love ❤
Chris, you are doing a wonderful job working alongside Precious as you both navigate the world of parenting all your children. I thoroughly enjoyed watching that hair washing video. Hair wash day can be time consuming and having help can make the work so much easier. Learning about autism traits on TGL can open one's eyes up to the undiagnosed autism all around us. Thank you for being so real in this video. ❤
I always wanted to hear daddy’s voice and listen to you talk. Keep us together!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Hey Brotha, I really appreciate your willingness to be open. It's not easy for men. Thank you for sharing, I hope you continue to share. There are a lot of men out there that could use your advice, women also. Your family is beautiful and I hope you all continue to grow in love, strength and peace.
Sidebar: I need that shirt!👌🏿
Chris, I hear you. Thank you for sharing. Please take the time that you to heal.
I was curious to know his reason for leaving his family. I only hear excuses. If the mother is able to do what she does on her own, he should be able to follow through. Miko's mother is an amazing woman to care for all her children on her own along with special services for her daughter. Again all the best to this family and families with children with special abilities.
Your feelings are valid, stay encouraged and don't give up.
We appreciate you and your family . Sending love and pos energy )))
You are doing a great job, Dad. Your patience, caring, and understanding to your family is great. Praying for strength to you and your family.
I appreciate your vulnerability and transparency.
Thank you for your comments. Praying for you & your wife continued strength 🙏🏽🙏🏽 …stay strong and encouraged…you all are doing a great job with Mikko.
Good sharing papa
Thankyou for sharing. As a female myself, I 100% agree. Men need to be heard more and speak out more. You guys are victims and deserve justice. Lets not forget the Johnny Depp case.
What about Johnny Depp
Love watching your videos love your caring, love your family, I watch other videos of parents with austic children and there not as caring , loving , Patient people like you guys they curse they yell they talk over each other, and the children affected with this just yell out loud or just act out or no one in the
Videos talks to them..makes mesad. They start out bring the kids out. All good but then they start to talk about something else.. people send money,cashapp stars, the children never have any books any special toys to him them out.. I’m so happy to watch and learn from both of you,, I share your videos
Chris, thank you for sharing your thoughts and male perspective. When I think of the concept of ‘The Gentle Life’ you are a very integral part of it. We may see Precious on tape a little more, but I even notice when you are in the background…your presence is felt. You are Mikko’s champion. She looks to you for comfort and she is calmer around you. I applaud you for what you do to keep your family together. Again, you are appreciated and it is beautiful to see you be so transparent. Keep on doing what you do. I also love your singing btw. ❤🫶🏽
Here we go,divisive. I don't praise parents for doing their job as parents. I'll support and encourage with prayers. But, praise for doing what you should be doing. 😢
You're doing a good job dad!!
Now this was very touching..🥺 We see u& we hear u brother..You are doing an amazing job 🙏🏽 Thanks for sharing the struggles dads go through. Blessings to your beautiful family 💜
Man. I'm a aba behavior specialist and I don't usually see Dada involved , but the ones that are. They are amazing
Thank you. This meant a lot!
God bless ❤🙏🏽
As a woman with autism and the mother of two children with medical mental health diagnosis I know I carried the weight of taking care of them. I empathize with how he’s feeling in this situation, but those are his children, it’s not a battle that he should feel comfortable running from -get in therapy, join parenting groups with other people who have shared experiences, and learn. As a woman who is probably old enough to be his mother, and having raised my children to adulthood, and still helping them learn how to function in society, I can definitively say it is very difficult on a relationship. It becomes difficult to maintain the level of connection you had before your children were born. It takes both people accepting accountability and responsibility for each other, and both people coming together to try to find those small spaces in the middle of all of what is going on to connect. It takes giving each other grace and effective communication. So again, while I do empathize with how he feels, I know it all too well, I will always find it unacceptable to not get the proper help and assistance (outside assistance) needed in the situation once you realize you needed it. -And you’re going to need it. I feel for him, but she is going through it too, and sometimes we as women in this situation don’t have “it” to give you either. We are in need as well.
I hope you get the support that you need, that you both need. It’s a long road ahead of you. Peace and blessing to you both.
MIKO LOVES ❤️. SHE NEEDS YOU! I have to watch the whole video before I react. I will watch tomorrow! I CANT UNDERSTAND!
Thank you for that perspective from a guy! Yes it is hard raising children with autism, my daughter and son in law are raising a non verbal child. You have to be there for each other! Such a powerful message! Thank you so much! 💓
I understand exactly what you're saying. My spouse and I have 6 kids. Our last was Autistic. He is 20 years old now!
From the beginning my husband and I closed ranks when we found, at 2, that Wyatt was Autistic. We agreed to support each other daily, First. Whatever happened in the day, we had each other's backs. It wasn't always easy, but we made it work and still do 20 years later. Wyatt is grown now, but still learns daily. He's wicked brilliant on the computer and can speed read like a demon. However, he's horrible at math, which is a work in progress. And he is still verbally challenged. He started having grand Mal seizures at 16, the height of puberty. Pretty scary. Wyatt is a big guy. 6'3" and 235 pounds. So controlling his falls during a siezure became a huge issue. We finally decided medication was the answer. We have just started and will let you know how we have to adjust.
I think the most important take away from this is, as a couple you support each other first. This gives you the chance to give to others equally. I hope you stay strong and start to lean into each other to take away the stress