One of my biggest take aways from Dr. Glover’s book is that a man’s relationships with his parents from an early age has a tremendous impact on how they behave around women. I’m very fortunate that I grew up with Parents who not only showed me love, but they also kept me accountable even into adulthood.
i recommend reading his book, and then watching some of these podcasts in addition. it acts as a reminder to you to keep you on the path to "recovery".
It's important to get reminders. Also teaching the lessons to others has helped me stay on the path. Just posted a youtube video about my learnings if you wanna check it out.
I’ve read “ No More Mr.Nice Guy”, it made me realize who I really was! It changed my life. I want to say Thank you so much Dr.Glover. If you are a man that is tired of being walked on, not getting what you want in life. If you are someone that thinks that people never give you as much as you give them, read the book, listen to in on audiobook, it will show you the light. I struggled for years in what I felt was one way relationships. I couldn’t figure out why I was always meeting women that were selfish or controlling. When I would find a good woman I would either change her into what i had always had or would mess up the relationship. If any of this sounds familiar to you get the book!
Great insight and thanks for tuning into the podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, you might also like the one with Robert Masters, we dive into a few really useful subject like overcoming pornography and talk a lot about sex and intimacy.
Thanks for tuning in, Roelof! Glad you enjoyed the podcast. You might also like the interview I did with Jordan Gray, he's got some great wisdom in this area.
Visit prostitutes, not joking. You'll get experience and you don't have to prove yourself to them, because these women don't care how well you perform. Think of it as driving lessons. It definitely made a world of difference for me.
Excellent video. It is shocking to hear how much of myself is being described in this video. I was raised by a coddling single-mother, surrounded by women and did not have many men in my life. I am in my mid-30s and still very uncomfortable around males.
Bro I swear the whole book was describing me literally. I actually cried reading this book. The best book I have ever read and it completely changed me for the better
Thank you so much for this podcast! As a woman, I am very excited to find places where men are exploring what it is to be masculine, in very real, honest and authentic ways. It's so helpful for me as a woman to find examples of men who are doing this work (because I'm currently not around it). I'm in the process of a related and parallel journey of exploring what it means to be a woman and feminine in true, honest, authentic ways (without being afraid of these words and the work being done in the realm of polarities :) ). I could nerd out a bunch about all of this, but for now I'll just say: great work! And it was nourishing to hear the part about "covert contracts" (around 24:27) as I believe that I've recently been on the receiving end of that, not really understanding what was going on. Hearing it defined and clarified really helped! Side note: I'm curious about what the correlate of "Nice Guy" is for women because I feeling like I'm a recovering "Nice Girl." This doesn't mean that I'm mean now, but I think perhaps for women who want to allow more of their true natures, the key is to not extinguish our desires to be nice and loving, but to work on our powers of discernment, and finding who are the people we can trust with our nurturing love.
Well I'd say you are doing a good job at finding men that are genuinely exploring their masculinity and behaviors as a human being. To me, this is it It seems like you are on the right track so I wish you the best and I found your comment encouraging so I really appreciate it!
Agreed. I ended up hiring a coach from the back of his book. Helped me out a lot. I posted a vid on Nice Guy syndrome and what I learned. Would love your thoughts.
I have learnt to not care if a woman is pissed off or angry or scared. Be the rock. She will always be the weather. You can not control the weather and it can change any moment. Be the rock no matter rain or shine.
Great interview, and thank you for letting him talk and explain his ideas at length! I'm reading the book a second time now and it's refreshing to hear how astutely and appropriately he uses his material to answer all the insightful questions.
So much of this rings true to how I behave a lot of the time and i now see it's not something i should just let kick in for certain situations. I am the type of guy who can go from timid to in your face in minutes. Might be why I always got underestimated before fist fights even. But I've been trying to lose these habits and be true to myself 247 and so far it's working and I really think even if I accidentally offend or weird people out with the weird shit I say, we're all still more likable people if we behave in an assertive and true way. Might check out this dudes audiobook. So much of what he said felt so accurate
Absolutely man. I can relate. The book will change your life. I hired a coach in the back of his book too and it amplified the changes. Posted a youtube video about what I learned if you wanna check it out.
corey wayne will ruin your game... Glover has just got it right..corey is a nice guy whom saids he dose everything to please the women in the bed....glover saids the opposite...he saids get them to please you
I work with a guy in his 70's and he is still like this thats some scary shit. Wont stand up for himself or speak on anything just asked someone else can they do it.
I have encountered men who do that too and it shows some weakness when they cant even do a simple task it like they are frightened to make a mistake or to be questioned....
Listening to this reminds me of that saying that I and so many of my friends fell into. “Happy wife Happy life” In so many ways I feel I’ve created a monster I can’t kill lol. Another key point was the rehearsing of what I’m going to tell this woman 🤦🏾♂️.. all the energy into this version of the truth which is a lie lol.. very powerful interview guys thanks.
I got my answer iam was a nice guy that's the reason why i got dumped and reason why she choosed someone else and reason why she stills comes around me just to be sure that iam still a garbage but i wanna thank her, it's because of her i bumped this one and knew my weakness now i know, it's surely gonna be my greatest power.
watchflix. stop making excuses, you were with narcissist(they are bad news male or female). try find a nice empathetic woman, she will adore you. It is great being nice & sexy.
Who thought growing up would be a series of severely unsettling reveals about how you have mistreated almost EveryBody in your life. All Im thinking now is - that All that effort i put in that fake image, and the conviction i had in my created image - that All The People i was involved with saw Right trough it all and were Just trying to help me, even to the Point of pity even. Whats also a mild regret is that everything yoi hear that is the problem already crossed your mind but you chose to ignore your own clear analysis just becuase of the extreme passivity.
After finished reading his book, i decided to end my relation with a woman i loved, love and will love her. This book saved my life, was the first step in a self discovery journey and understanding the female nature....In the end, i decided not to play this game and stay single, out of relationships and dating scene.
Covert contract #2 is a direct result of childhood neglect. You expect the other person to know what you need (without you communicating) because that's how things should be when you're a CHILD. The parent should be watching your signs and knowing when you need affirmation, food, rest, etc. Unfortunately, that's not how things work in adulthood and we nice guys often don't recognize that.
Thank you telling men what women know, theres something going on with the "nice guy". Most men dont want to be honest with themselves and admit this and just say women just dont like nice guys. It sucks that for some reason women don't typically just say HEY BE FREAKING HONEST BECAUSE YOURE HIDING SOMETHING. We just get really agitated but we know something is off.
apart from the great content in the podcast, I wonder if there is any way to figure out the name of the song played at the beginning? sorry for veering off topic )
I’m a little confused. You said, “She’s bat shit crazy!”.... so the breakup was a good thing. Relationships are 2 people coming together... with their craziness. It’s good your conscious of it. Or are you? Third marriage. All people are screwed up. I’ve been married for soon to be 17 years. If you do everything for a women... your not allowing her to be a woman; she won’t respect you. Your to predictable. Women become bored. My father always told me, ensure your always on your wife’s mind. For something good or something bad.
Eugene Roushe : I think it’s our background. For example... her parents have been married for 40plus years; my parents are married 50+ years. We also share the same faith. If you have a belief, a philosophy that is greater than the individual... it sets a precedent. So for us it’s the idea that we created a family... not just 2 individuals in a contract. So it’s the idea of a family... not just a relationship of 2 people. I hope it doesn’t sound strange. If you want me to clarify something... feel free to ask.
Just think about this: Why have you always been better in bed than the women you chose? Why do you sacrifice your own desires, thinking you are a leader, but not getting a return? Why do your relationships start as full on passionate, but end up as you being a slave, nothing more than a handler for her?
I talked to Glover over the phone once. We scheduled the next appointment and thought it was for 8 PM not AM. He dumped me and wouldn't talk to me. I said to him "It was just a mistake." So of course, he thought I was doing psycho therapy avoidance. Lol! We couldn't arrange another appointment since he thought I "was practicing avoidance. He dumped me other one mistake! Asshole!
Lmao. Weird. I hired a coach from the back of his book and it worked out great. Been with him for a year. Also started posting videos about what I learned on my youtube channel if you wanna check it out.
Dont say no if you can , and dont ask ppl to do things for you if you can do yourself. instead to achieve the assignments; say no to nonsense request and say no to ppl who asking you to do thing for them. Tell them consciously i am not your servant!
His guy is nuts, however, he is clever. He knows that and knows that many more are like him, more than people realise. He telling you to gamble out, in other words there is a 50/50 shot that the girl working behind the bar is actually a psychopath and doesn't give two fucks so you can play passive aggressive with her to get the "deal" done, in other words cut out the idle chit chat and get down to business. He's right on that score. One of the major mistakes that empathic people make is that their own moral code is reflected in other people. It is not!! It's a 50/50 play that you will score. I always assume the person I am engaging with is clinically insane first and then they can work their way back from there. Never take people at face value, always assume there is a dark side.
ManTalks I definitely think you should do an episode on that topic. I had my fair share of narcissist woman seems like a monopoly for me I gone from one to another narcissist.
Look up a book or audiobook called psychopath free by Jackson Mackenzie. He goes in on the narcissist. The way he rips into them it seems like they are nothing to play with. He goes as far as to say they are not misunderstood, they are evil because they legitimately cannot relate to people and they specifically hunt "nice" and "people pleasing people." But it would be a good topic to do for the podcast.
@@HugoStiglitz88 Well, this is what seems to be a problem here. You all 'nice' guys are dating narcissistic women without realising it. I suggest that you learn about it & avoid them. Yes, most people deserve love & respect, but when you love narcissist you will not get either back, They love to be loved but haven't got any love to give. ua-cam.com/video/0OxEsWupS3M/v-deo.html
Nice guy syndrome is a holdover from the 1950's and before when instead of screwing everything in sight, women would stay virtuous for their future husband who would reciprocate by being "nice". Young people would pair off and get married. Nowadays lovemaking has been retired and in its place sex with all the loving commitment of dogs in the street has taken its place. For that reason, adopting a "nice guy" personality is just asking for pain.
Question, I fear if I lose my "nice guy" style, I will lose creativity. I'm a musician and like feeling the emotion deeply, but i'm afraind it make me the "nice guy"
Great question. Nice guy and creativity are not connected in my experience. I was and am an extremely creative person and after moving through nice guy-ness, I have found a more clear direction in ,y creativity. I've actually found much more purpose with my creativity since moving past the nice guy framework. I guess the bigger question is - why? Why do you feel you'll lose your creativity? Who told you that or where did that story come from?
Don't be a jerk if you know you're not one. Just be honest about yourself; towards yourself and others. Know what do/don't want and express this where and when needed. You have the exact same rights to stand up for yourself as EVERYONE else. You don't need to turn into a jerk, instead: be more assertive.
In my opinion, it all depends. Live life realities and relationships are full of details and factors that would influence such a decision. Your question doesn't reveal enough detail or particulars to inform anyone else as they would need to be informed before they could responsibly advise you. It could depend on such things as: 1. Is or has being with prostitutes been associated with an addictive behavior for you, 2. How long have you been in a relationship with your current partner, 3. Are you planning to make it a long term relationship, 4. What is the depth of personal transparency that your partner expects and is willing to engage in. In the interest of transparency, it might be sufficient to say only that you've had sexual contact with women (or men) you weren't in a relationship with. You should be able to determine, in your relationship, what level of transparency is actually healthy, comfortable or expected. I think first it's just important that you be willing. That's my opinion.
my experience is that it will be used against you, and you will not be seen as someone who learned a lesson the hard way and are stronger now, someone who would never do that again, instead youre seen as looking to do that again at the next chance.......only my experience
At one point he said that the first time a woman achieves an orgasm, second time nothing and third time she doesnt come back because its routine. Is it all then the males responsibility? To lead and to make sure she has a good time? Women dont need to take responsibility?
I think so. Just don't try to be a girl's friend in order to get something in return . For example, trying to be a girl's best friend in order to get in a relationship with her or have sex.
See that's a great question. I think yes but I've also got myself friend zoned many times and attracted girls as friends because I was being mr nice guy. now i realize tho that i can still be friends with girls I'm not interested in because i currently am right now. Tho tbh, if she turns out to be super hot or something that might change lol (idk what she looks like)
7:00 - in so far and wondering why the hell I am listening to a guy tell a story about how he would do anything to be with a woman who didn't like sleeping with him?! And this is a guy who counsels other guys?! Will give this to the 15 min mark. 10:00 - I'm out.
Great interview. I have listened to the book. It is good, but: R Glover is a 3rd time married guy. I have learnt from one marriage that living with a woman is not great long term. If you want a low drama life and fun sex don’t live with one. I think combine this No More Nice Guy with The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi.
KJ, total rubbish! chose well, take your time when dating, find someone you enjoy being around & have thing in common. Chose someone your really care about. Don't just go for sexiest person. If you have really close relationship then you will be able to talk about anything at length, they will want to know what is bothering you, they will care that you are happy, safe & feel loved. Sex will be good too as you will understand each other & care (genuinely )about each other's needs(physical & otherwise).
Good interview, I hate to burst the bubble but some men are also big-time drama queens. There are a lot of cultural cliches in this interview the pendulum rocks both ways, if you are lacking in something no one can give it to you. Your cup must be full before you can share in a relationship and if you do agree to do for someone you do it cause you love them not because you are holding a scorecard.
Nice guy is a soft way of saying COWARD. I thought I married I nice guy. Turns out, he is a coward. A 12 year old in a man's body. Emotional immaturity and lack of self worth is so unattractive. Gulabke me.......I fell for his facade. His fakery persona- stoic, gentle voices, easy going way.......all ment FEAR!
Being a nice guy is not a sin or a syndrome. I'm a born again Christian, Jesus was the ultimate 'nice guy', and the world crucified Him. Jesus said the servant is not above his Lord. This just shows what an evil world we live in. If you don't want to be a nice guy, convert to Islam and act like Muhammed www.thereligionofpeace.com/pages/quran/violence.aspx
@@simbaddaenlightened1895 Or some people are a nice guy in disobedience to their religion. Christian Prince . m.ua-cam.com/video/aDzrfLr61IU/v-deo.html www.thereligionofpeace.com/pages/quran/violence.aspx
No, Jesus was not a nice guy. He flipped tables over and called people out on their shit, THAT is why he got crucified and that is why everybody is pretending to be a nice guy. Being authentic takes courage. You will get rejected by society for standing up for what is right and that is exactly why it is necessary. "The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything"
@@krusinek I agree, The Lord Jesus Christ called the Pharisees out on their hypocrisy and even called them children of the Devil. What I meant by 'nice guy', is what the world would call a goody two shoes, not a drunkard, or fornicator e.t.c. Jesus is the only true Alpha Male.
It's not about "not" being nice, it's about being assertive and being real. Women do not respond to certain men because we approach them like we don't want to fuck them. So we are being fake. Women deal with alot more men on a everyday basis so they can see through the fake. Forget women, just be real to yourself. If youre upset be upset, don't fake not being upset to not rock the boat. Be real. That's all Robert is saying.
One of my biggest take aways from Dr. Glover’s book is that a man’s relationships with his parents from an early age has a tremendous impact on how they behave around women. I’m very fortunate that I grew up with Parents who not only showed me love, but they also kept me accountable even into adulthood.
i recommend reading his book, and then watching some of these podcasts in addition. it acts as a reminder to you to keep you on the path to "recovery".
It's important to get reminders. Also teaching the lessons to others has helped me stay on the path. Just posted a youtube video about my learnings if you wanna check it out.
I was going to give this video a thumbs up and subscribe to this channel but I thought to myself am I being too nice?
Your being nice to the most important person in your life..You!
Lol Good one!
New Avatar You’re too nice man
😂😂😂aahhh someone learned there lesson
I was gonna like this comment but I thought to myself am I being nice?
I’ve read “ No More Mr.Nice Guy”, it made me realize who I really was! It changed my life. I want to say Thank you so much Dr.Glover. If you are a man that is tired of being walked on, not getting what you want in life. If you are someone that thinks that people never give you as much as you give them, read the book, listen to in on audiobook, it will show you the light. I struggled for years in what I felt was one way relationships. I couldn’t figure out why I was always meeting women that were selfish or controlling. When I would find a good woman I would either change her into what i had always had or would mess up the relationship. If any of this sounds familiar to you get the book!
Great insight and thanks for tuning into the podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, you might also like the one with Robert Masters, we dive into a few really useful subject like overcoming pornography and talk a lot about sex and intimacy.
This may be at the root of my sexual performance anxiety. Thanks for the upload, guys!
Thanks for tuning in, Roelof! Glad you enjoyed the podcast. You might also like the interview I did with Jordan Gray, he's got some great wisdom in this area.
Roelof Venter what helped?
Visit prostitutes, not joking.
You'll get experience and you don't have to prove yourself to them, because these women don't care how well you perform.
Think of it as driving lessons.
It definitely made a world of difference for me.
Excellent video. It is shocking to hear how much of myself is being described in this video. I was raised by a coddling single-mother, surrounded by women and did not have many men in my life. I am in my mid-30s and still very uncomfortable around males.
Traditional Puritan interesting how the absent father will give the kid the same result as the father that is too hard.
My man go find a Brazilian jiu-jitsu, Muay Thai or boxing gym. Join it and train. You'll find male friends fast.
Bro I swear the whole book was describing me literally. I actually cried reading this book. The best book I have ever read and it completely changed me for the better
@Abood alsomairi what changes has it impacted in your life?
Thank you so much for this podcast! As a woman, I am very excited to find places where men are exploring what it is to be masculine, in very real, honest and authentic ways. It's so helpful for me as a woman to find examples of men who are doing this work (because I'm currently not around it). I'm in the process of a related and parallel journey of exploring what it means to be a woman and feminine in true, honest, authentic ways (without being afraid of these words and the work being done in the realm of polarities :) ). I could nerd out a bunch about all of this, but for now I'll just say: great work! And it was nourishing to hear the part about "covert contracts" (around 24:27) as I believe that I've recently been on the receiving end of that, not really understanding what was going on. Hearing it defined and clarified really helped! Side note: I'm curious about what the correlate of "Nice Guy" is for women because I feeling like I'm a recovering "Nice Girl." This doesn't mean that I'm mean now, but I think perhaps for women who want to allow more of their true natures, the key is to not extinguish our desires to be nice and loving, but to work on our powers of discernment, and finding who are the people we can trust with our nurturing love.
Well I'd say you are doing a good job at finding men that are genuinely exploring their masculinity and behaviors as a human being. To me, this is it
It seems like you are on the right track so I wish you the best and I found your comment encouraging so I really appreciate it!
I completely agree!
Morgan..... that's awesome
How are things going your way?
It helps a lot if you spend some time improving yourself, go the gym, sign in in something like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu classes, read good books etc.
Dr Robert Glover's work on his discovery is amazing 🏆👏 his book No More Mr Nice Guy is amazing. Nice Guy Syndrome isn't as simple as it sounds!
Agreed. I ended up hiring a coach from the back of his book. Helped me out a lot. I posted a vid on Nice Guy syndrome and what I learned. Would love your thoughts.
I have learnt to not care if a woman is pissed off or angry or scared. Be the rock. She will always be the weather. You can not control the weather and it can change any moment. Be the rock no matter rain or shine.
Great interview, and thank you for letting him talk and explain his ideas at length! I'm reading the book a second time now and it's refreshing to hear how astutely and appropriately he uses his material to answer all the insightful questions.
So much of this rings true to how I behave a lot of the time and i now see it's not something i should just let kick in for certain situations. I am the type of guy who can go from timid to in your face in minutes. Might be why I always got underestimated before fist fights even.
But I've been trying to lose these habits and be true to myself 247 and so far it's working and I really think even if I accidentally offend or weird people out with the weird shit I say, we're all still more likable people if we behave in an assertive and true way.
Might check out this dudes audiobook. So much of what he said felt so accurate
Absolutely man. I can relate. The book will change your life. I hired a coach in the back of his book too and it amplified the changes. Posted a youtube video about what I learned if you wanna check it out.
Thank you for this post! I found it so interesting that I've just bought the book and also subscribed to your channel. I wish you success!
Corey wayne started opening my eyes and this guy is opening them more. Gosh what a doormat i was!
corey wayne will ruin your game... Glover has just got it right..corey is a nice guy whom saids he dose everything to please the women in the bed....glover saids the opposite...he saids get them to please you
I work with a guy in his 70's and he is still like this thats some scary shit. Wont stand up for himself or speak on anything just asked someone else can they do it.
Are you saying that he won't stand up for himself, but he asks someone else to stand up for him? Could you give an example of what he does?
He's beyond fucked
I have encountered men who do that too and it shows some weakness when they cant even do a simple task it like they are frightened to make a mistake or to be questioned....
As a nice guy, I do have an agreeable personality, but there is a lot of anger bubbling under the surface.
cheekyboy5000 Same bro!!!!!
Most "nice guys" are angry there angry cos they cant get laid.
cheekyboy5000 yep
cheekyboy5000 what u said is the core of the nice guy
shut up
Listening to this reminds me of that saying that I and so many of my friends fell into. “Happy wife Happy life” In so many ways I feel I’ve created a monster I can’t kill lol.
Another key point was the rehearsing of what I’m going to tell this woman 🤦🏾♂️.. all the energy into this version of the truth which is a lie lol.. very powerful interview guys thanks.
I got my answer iam was a nice guy that's the reason why i got dumped and reason why she choosed someone else and reason why she stills comes around me just to be sure that iam still a garbage but i wanna thank her, it's because of her i bumped this one and knew my weakness now i know, it's surely gonna be my greatest power.
watchflix. stop making excuses, you were with narcissist(they are bad news male or female). try find a nice empathetic woman, she will adore you. It is great being nice & sexy.
I'm an extreme Nice Guy and it's eating me up inside and so painful. This is hard to listen to,
Who thought growing up would be a series of severely unsettling reveals about how you have mistreated almost EveryBody in your life.
All Im thinking now is - that All that effort i put in that fake image, and the conviction i had in my created image - that All The People i was involved with saw Right trough it all and were Just trying to help me, even to the Point of pity even.
Whats also a mild regret is that everything yoi hear that is the problem already crossed your mind but you chose to ignore your own clear analysis just becuase of the extreme passivity.
Man this hit me hard cause its so relatable.
The perfect fall guy, desperately seeking external validation without forming intimate relationships..
Passive and desire to please, even to a fault
After finished reading his book, i decided to end my relation with a woman i loved, love and will love her. This book saved my life, was the first step in a self discovery journey and understanding the female nature....In the end, i decided not to play this game and stay single, out of relationships and dating scene.
Covert contract #2 is a direct result of childhood neglect. You expect the other person to know what you need (without you communicating) because that's how things should be when you're a CHILD. The parent should be watching your signs and knowing when you need affirmation, food, rest, etc. Unfortunately, that's not how things work in adulthood and we nice guys often don't recognize that.
Raising someone else kids was the ultimate beta male move, he was screwed in that first marriage from the start.
Yeah, but when you are a NICE GUY you expect being NICE to result in NICE results and of course a NICE sex life.
Well, what happens if you love that woman for what she is, would you let all the single mothers all alone just because?
@@InnerEagle I take back what I said I don't think how I did at this time.
I think that was his second marriage?
@@KJ-pu8dw I don't even remember anything from this lol
Fuck being ‘nice’ just be respectable.
What happens when you meet another you? Guess if We are all nice -Caring for one another and not being selfish
Another book that you should read is The Manipulated Man. The truth is hard to read.
bitTorrenter thanks can you talk alittle about it ?
You just blew my mind man haha
Thank you telling men what women know, theres something going on with the "nice guy". Most men dont want to be honest with themselves and admit this and just say women just dont like nice guys. It sucks that for some reason women don't typically just say HEY BE FREAKING HONEST BECAUSE YOURE HIDING SOMETHING. We just get really agitated but we know something is off.
Thanks for the commercials every three minutes. Highly enjoyable.(this is sarcasm)
Thanks for the feedback, I didn't realize that there were so many ads on the video. Brutal. Just changed it so it's not so disruptive.
I am buying this book
The biggest issue I have with this is men are always the ones who are expected to change. Are women ever going to be held to account and adapt to men?
True. It’s a good book though. I think also read The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. Then view Robert Glovers book through a more Red Pill lens.
Men's higher drive to get women
21:00 onward....this is so my problem!!!
The problem is not being nice. The problem is people always confuse being nice with being weak.
…which comes up to being too nice.
“It’s not my fault it’s the fault of other peoples perspective”
Open honest and transparent is the crux of his thing
apart from the great content in the podcast, I wonder if there is any way to figure out the name of the song played at the beginning? sorry for veering off topic )
Great talk boys
I’m a little confused. You said, “She’s bat shit crazy!”.... so the breakup was a good thing. Relationships are 2 people coming together... with their craziness. It’s good your conscious of it. Or are you? Third marriage. All people are screwed up. I’ve been married for soon to be 17 years. If you do everything for a women... your not allowing her to be a woman; she won’t respect you. Your to predictable. Women become bored. My father always told me, ensure your always on your wife’s mind. For something good or something bad.
Wow what’s your secret for being together so long I’d love to know! My longest relationship was 4 years!
Eugene Roushe : I think it’s our background. For example... her parents have been married for 40plus years; my parents are married 50+ years. We also share the same faith. If you have a belief, a philosophy that is greater than the individual... it sets a precedent. So for us it’s the idea that we created a family... not just 2 individuals in a contract. So it’s the idea of a family... not just a relationship of 2 people. I hope it doesn’t sound strange. If you want me to clarify something... feel free to ask.
Thank you fro this.
Just think about this: Why have you always been better in bed than the women you chose? Why do you sacrifice your own desires, thinking you are a leader, but not getting a return? Why do your relationships start as full on passionate, but end up as you being a slave, nothing more than a handler for her?
I talked to Glover over the phone once. We scheduled the next appointment and thought it was for 8 PM not AM. He dumped me and wouldn't talk to me. I said to him "It was just a mistake." So of course, he thought I was doing psycho therapy avoidance. Lol! We couldn't arrange another appointment since he thought I "was practicing avoidance. He dumped me other one mistake! Asshole!
Lmao. Weird. I hired a coach from the back of his book and it worked out great. Been with him for a year. Also started posting videos about what I learned on my youtube channel if you wanna check it out.
Sounds pretty Boomerish lol
Dont say no if you can , and dont ask ppl to do things for you if you can do yourself. instead to achieve the assignments; say no to nonsense request and say no to ppl who asking you to do thing for them. Tell them consciously i am not your servant!
His guy is nuts, however, he is clever. He knows that and knows that many more are like him, more than people realise. He telling you to gamble out, in other words there is a 50/50 shot that the girl working behind the bar is actually a psychopath and doesn't give two fucks so you can play passive aggressive with her to get the "deal" done, in other words cut out the idle chit chat and get down to business. He's right on that score. One of the major mistakes that empathic people make is that their own moral code is reflected in other people. It is not!! It's a 50/50 play that you will score. I always assume the person I am engaging with is clinically insane first and then they can work their way back from there. Never take people at face value, always assume there is a dark side.
There seems to be alot of "nice girls" also, just change sexes in the narrative and see what you think.
😂
What about narcissistic woman ? Or woman that are self observed?
Just a thought
Absolutely, there are definitely these types of women out there. Are you saying I should do an episode on it?
ManTalks I definitely think you should do an episode on that topic. I had my fair share of narcissist woman seems like a monopoly for me I gone from one to another narcissist.
@@ManTalks they take more work but just like us, just because they're flawed doesn't mean they don't deserve love and respect.
Look up a book or audiobook called psychopath free by Jackson Mackenzie. He goes in on the narcissist. The way he rips into them it seems like they are nothing to play with. He goes as far as to say they are not misunderstood, they are evil because they legitimately cannot relate to people and they specifically hunt "nice" and "people pleasing people." But it would be a good topic to do for the podcast.
@@HugoStiglitz88 Well, this is what seems to be a problem here. You all 'nice' guys are dating narcissistic women without realising it. I suggest that you learn about it & avoid them. Yes, most people deserve love & respect, but when you love narcissist you will not get either back, They love to be loved but haven't got any love to give.
ua-cam.com/video/0OxEsWupS3M/v-deo.html
Yes. He is in my head. 😄
I wonder what his ex wife thinks about his transformation?
Im not 10% of the turnaround this guy is and my ex definitely noticed and the moment of her realization was very satisfying.
Nice guy syndrome is a holdover from the 1950's and before when instead of screwing everything in sight, women would stay virtuous for their future husband who would reciprocate by being "nice". Young people would pair off and get married. Nowadays lovemaking has been retired and in its place sex with all the loving commitment of dogs in the street has taken its place. For that reason, adopting a "nice guy" personality is just asking for pain.
Question, I fear if I lose my "nice guy" style, I will lose creativity. I'm a musician and like feeling the emotion deeply, but i'm afraind it make me the "nice guy"
Great question. Nice guy and creativity are not connected in my experience. I was and am an extremely creative person and after moving through nice guy-ness, I have found a more clear direction in ,y creativity. I've actually found much more purpose with my creativity since moving past the nice guy framework. I guess the bigger question is - why? Why do you feel you'll lose your creativity? Who told you that or where did that story come from?
Nope, Nice Guys suppress their emotions to please others. Feeling your emotions deeply and honestly is not a Nice Guy behavior
As a nice guy..i have a lot of hate of my self..i cant be a jerk🤔..i dont know how to be a jerk😰
Don't be a jerk if you know you're not one. Just be honest about yourself; towards yourself and others. Know what do/don't want and express this where and when needed.
You have the exact same rights to stand up for yourself as EVERYONE else. You don't need to turn into a jerk, instead: be more assertive.
About being honest and open about everything. Does it mean one should tell a partner about poor decisions previously in life? Such as prostitutes etc?
j s Koivisto No. There are some things one is allowed to keep private. Have your own boundaries and don’t let anyone cross them.
In my opinion, it all depends. Live life realities and relationships are full of details and factors that would influence such a decision. Your question doesn't reveal enough detail or particulars to inform anyone else as they would need to be informed before they could responsibly advise you. It could depend on such things as: 1. Is or has being with prostitutes been associated with an addictive behavior for you, 2. How long have you been in a relationship with your current partner, 3. Are you planning to make it a long term relationship, 4. What is the depth of personal transparency that your partner expects and is willing to engage in. In the interest of transparency, it might be sufficient to say only that you've had sexual contact with women (or men) you weren't in a relationship with. You should be able to determine, in your relationship, what level of transparency is actually healthy, comfortable or expected. I think first it's just important that you be willing. That's my opinion.
Only if it effects the present relationship. Be open and honest about the present, and working through issues. Leave the last where it belongs
my experience is that it will be used against you, and you will not be seen as someone who learned a lesson the hard way and are stronger now, someone who would never do that again, instead youre seen as looking to do that again at the next chance.......only my experience
Wow!
I am more comfortable around mard / mens instead of womans. I literally run from the situations of interacting with womens.
What should I do?
Practice, try to talk to Winthrop women, first' old ones then you know
So he's codependent. Read pete wallkers book on childhood complex ptsd from surviving to thriving
Great book
Dr. John Demartini teaches this and weyyy more.
At one point he said that the first time a woman achieves an orgasm, second time nothing and third time she doesnt come back because its routine.
Is it all then the males responsibility? To lead and to make sure she has a good time? Women dont need to take responsibility?
Getting a woman to orgasm is impossible 99 percent of the time
U r so lost my man 😂
Well, if you're a nice guy, you'll make sure she does. If your not a nice guy, you'll worry about yourself first.
@@kevinmarin6883 Me or John?
Nice guys make you realize your own character flaws and that you're really the asshole in the relationship.
That's the manipulation part.
Talking like this seems like a nice thing to do.
Great book but i dont know why the guy wants to be on Oprah so much.
Money
Just boomer mentality
What if I'm gay?
I'm reading the book and agree with a lot of it but also disagree with some.
If one is week he has no choice except being nice
"There is even laws in America to not piss off women" haha...
Why do I always hear about wow when I play it ? lol
Can men and women still be friends?
I think so. Just don't try to be a girl's friend in order to get something in return . For example, trying to be a girl's best friend in order to get in a relationship with her or have sex.
Absolutely
See that's a great question. I think yes but I've also got myself friend zoned many times and attracted girls as friends because I was being mr nice guy. now i realize tho that i can still be friends with girls I'm not interested in because i currently am right now. Tho tbh, if she turns out to be super hot or something that might change lol (idk what she looks like)
Only if the man is gay
7:00 - in so far and wondering why the hell I am listening to a guy tell a story about how he would do anything to be with a woman who didn't like sleeping with him?! And this is a guy who counsels other guys?! Will give this to the 15 min mark.
10:00 - I'm out.
Nobody gives a shit.
He gives that as an example of what he was doing wrong. He is saying to not act in this way.
I wonder how much of these nice guy problems could be due to low testosterone, porn, and penis insecurity regarding size, shape, or function.
Paul ImmortalWar all of them omg
Porn addiction sucks realizing that it’s not normal and not taking actions to change
German Untertitel ???? Please
❤️❤️❤️
Great interview. I have listened to the book. It is good, but: R Glover is a 3rd time married guy. I have learnt from one marriage that living with a woman is not great long term. If you want a low drama life and fun sex don’t live with one.
I think combine this No More Nice Guy with The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi.
KJ, total rubbish! chose well, take your time when dating, find someone you enjoy being around & have thing in common. Chose someone your really care about. Don't just go for sexiest person. If you have really close relationship then you will be able to talk about anything at length, they will want to know what is bothering you, they will care that you are happy, safe & feel loved. Sex will be good too as you will understand each other & care (genuinely )about each other's needs(physical & otherwise).
Good interview, I hate to burst the bubble but some men are also big-time drama queens. There are a lot of cultural cliches in this interview the pendulum rocks both ways, if you are lacking in something no one can give it to you. Your cup must be full before you can share in a relationship and if you do agree to do for someone you do it cause you love them not because you are holding a scorecard.
If I here Peurto Vallarta one more time...!
Ah, ... no.
Nice guy is a soft way of saying COWARD. I thought I married I nice guy. Turns out, he is a coward. A 12 year old in a man's body. Emotional immaturity and lack of self worth is so unattractive. Gulabke me.......I fell for his facade. His fakery persona- stoic, gentle voices, easy going way.......all ment FEAR!
I don't agree with men just having simple temperament. That's not natural.
Maybe it's beat into you.
I don’t think he’s telling you both sides of the game. What he’s describing is recovery.
Being a nice guy is not a sin or a syndrome.
I'm a born again Christian, Jesus was the ultimate 'nice guy', and the world crucified Him.
Jesus said the servant is not above his Lord.
This just shows what an evil world we live in.
If you don't want to be a nice guy, convert to Islam and act like Muhammed
www.thereligionofpeace.com/pages/quran/violence.aspx
@@simbaddaenlightened1895 Or some people are a nice guy in disobedience to their religion.
Christian Prince .
m.ua-cam.com/video/aDzrfLr61IU/v-deo.html
www.thereligionofpeace.com/pages/quran/violence.aspx
No, Jesus was not a nice guy. He flipped tables over and called people out on their shit, THAT is why he got crucified and that is why everybody is pretending to be a nice guy. Being authentic takes courage. You will get rejected by society for standing up for what is right and that is exactly why it is necessary.
"The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything"
@@krusinek I agree, The Lord Jesus Christ called the Pharisees out on their hypocrisy and even called them children of the Devil.
What I meant by 'nice guy', is what the world would call a goody two shoes, not a drunkard, or fornicator e.t.c.
Jesus is the only true Alpha Male.
Maybe if being a real man means that you are not nice, then it is not a good thing to be a real man.
Maybe u just have to know when to draw the line
WolfpackGraham Real, not nice men created civilization.
It's not about "not" being nice, it's about being assertive and being real. Women do not respond to certain men because we approach them like we don't want to fuck them. So we are being fake. Women deal with alot more men on a everyday basis so they can see through the fake. Forget women, just be real to yourself. If youre upset be upset, don't fake not being upset to not rock the boat. Be real. That's all Robert is saying.
Yes good talk most of both behaviours by males and females is unconscious and automatic...
Overly simplistic