- no freebie - no wasting time time is money - be a drill sergeant, no peace for men address, problem have standards, have qualifications for the jobs, have high expectations (might not be this guy but other ones); tell expectations indirectly by telling stories ( some bs guy in the past ) - theyre not special (idc if i like u u re not so special that u can do whatever u want nah men u will get consequences i treat everyone the same); be a mean girl - my life keeps rotating either u here or not (no doordash to men, no dropping anything for them, they must plan and schedule their time ahead esp at the beginning)
5 boundaries you must set with men : * 1) no freebies ! (emotional and physical freebies / gf treatment) - remind youreslf at the beginning that he s a STRANGER - if he wants to convince you otherwise => he wants to play with your psyche (love at first sight, disney princess syndrome etc = manipulation tactic) - if you refuse to give freebies, you enable the men to do their actual job which is PURSUE you (as they should purrr💅) - them leading doesnt mean your job to aim towards the direction and control the speed is over! * extra tip : pace yourself and be patient ! - if he gets annoyed or becomes manipulative that means that he wants to take advantage of you - "the men in your life that are trying to take advantage of you they will always be upset / react negatively to you taking your time, pacing yourself, setting boundaries and waiting to analyze sitiations before making decisions" - Tomisin - the longer she waits and analyzes him, the worse are his chances to be successful in taking advantage of her (because she realizes he s a bum early on) * 2) time is money ! - your time is very valuable to you, you do not sit around and "go with the flow" with whatever comes your way - you have to be very intentional with your time : if they think you do not take your time seriously they will WASTE it! - when you dont take your time seriously guys dont even have to fool you, you have already fooled yourself. you become a gold mine for bums like them, and it is not their job to make you aware that you are wasting your time (which is money) - YOU are the only one that loses when you re letting bums waste YOUR precious time * 3) you need to learn how to be a drill sergent ! - "men are always going to come into your life and TEST YOU. they want to test to see if you are someone who can be emotionally broken. if they can take advantage of you or get you to do something that you said you weren't going to do." - Tomisin - at the beginning you are going to be setting the foundation for everything else in the relationship with your behavior - set very clear boundaries from the beginning and REINFORCE them later on - basically train that dawg ! punish bad behavior, reward good behavior (pavlov that mf) - there are consequences to their behavior - you give them only 2 options : he either shows up as you expect him to show up as a man (and you get access to me) OR HE CAN CAN F OFF - use access to you as a leverage - this earns you RESPECT from men. men despise you for letting them walk all over you and feel disgust because you dont stand on business - being a drill sergent wont feel good, but a person who is serious about you will have no problem with you setting and reinforcing boundaries * extra tip : give stories about "the graveyard" - the guy who tried to bullshit his way into your life, and the consequences for him trying you => moral of the story : if he tries to act up, he will end up like that guy : no access to you whatsoever - use storytelling to subtly give hints about what is off limits for you - make sure to make it sound like a horror story too ! - bring them up from the first date and keep giving them during the next dates too * 4) let them know from the first date that they are not special - "you are not that special that you can do whatever you want in this relationship and get away with it. if you do something to me, if you disrespect me, if you cross a boundary, if you go too far, you will not be able to just come back" - no amount of money, muscles, good looks etc will ever make you take this man back if he has disrespected you ! - if he fucks up, he gets treated the same way as other people have been treated before him - he needs to see that you actually do what you say : when a girlfriend disses you, she gets cut off - be a fair judge : a fair judge would never give a sexy man a lesser charge just because he s sexy. the fair judge will give the same amount of time in the joint that he gave to other criminals before, for the same crime * 5) let them know that your life / world doesn't stop just because you either come into it, or you leave it - when men meet you, they will try to exercise their power : he calls you at inconvenient times (knowing damn well you have important things to do the next day) to see if you are willing to accept to lose sleep/money/time because of them - we are NOT door dash ladies - they MUST plan and schedule ahead of time in order to get access to you
Tomisin, please let these girl know that often, it's not that they really care about these men, it's the fact that their ego that is bruised. Some of these men are basically playing with their egos, they need to recognize this in order to be stronger and let it go.
If you are serious fr, down to be there with him as he slowly deteriorates. In my opinion screw time tables. You only have 1 - 3 years of his life left to spend it with him. Handle the relationship genuinely, compassionately, presently. Make the most of the little time you have together. Make as many memories as you can cause soon you’ll have nothing left but memories
- no freebie
- no wasting time time is money
- be a drill sergeant, no peace for men address, problem have standards, have qualifications for the jobs, have high expectations (might not be this guy but other ones); tell expectations indirectly by telling stories ( some bs guy in the past )
- theyre not special (idc if i like u u re not so special that u can do whatever u want nah men u will get consequences i treat everyone the same); be a mean girl
- my life keeps rotating either u here or not (no doordash to men, no dropping anything for them, they must plan and schedule their time ahead esp at the beginning)
Warning!! Tomisin will trigger you but his advice is like Gold!
“Sucked dry-not in good way.” Best line ever!
5 boundaries you must set with men :
* 1) no freebies ! (emotional and physical freebies / gf treatment)
- remind youreslf at the beginning that he s a STRANGER
- if he wants to convince you otherwise => he wants to play with your psyche (love at first sight, disney princess syndrome etc = manipulation tactic)
- if you refuse to give freebies, you enable the men to do their actual job which is PURSUE you (as they should purrr💅)
- them leading doesnt mean your job to aim towards the direction and control the speed is over!
* extra tip : pace yourself and be patient !
- if he gets annoyed or becomes manipulative that means that he wants to take advantage of you
- "the men in your life that are trying to take advantage of you they will always be upset / react negatively to you taking your time, pacing yourself, setting boundaries and waiting to analyze sitiations before making decisions" - Tomisin
- the longer she waits and analyzes him, the worse are his chances to be successful in taking advantage of her (because she realizes he s a bum early on)
* 2) time is money !
- your time is very valuable to you, you do not sit around and "go with the flow" with whatever comes your way
- you have to be very intentional with your time : if they think you do not take your time seriously they will WASTE it!
- when you dont take your time seriously guys dont even have to fool you, you have already fooled yourself. you become a gold mine for bums like them, and it is not their job to make you aware that you are wasting your time (which is money)
- YOU are the only one that loses when you re letting bums waste YOUR precious time
* 3) you need to learn how to be a drill sergent !
- "men are always going to come into your life and TEST YOU. they want to test to see if you are someone who can be emotionally broken. if they can take advantage of you or get you to do something that you said you weren't going to do." - Tomisin
- at the beginning you are going to be setting the foundation for everything else in the relationship with your behavior
- set very clear boundaries from the beginning and REINFORCE them later on
- basically train that dawg ! punish bad behavior, reward good behavior (pavlov that mf)
- there are consequences to their behavior
- you give them only 2 options : he either shows up as you expect him to show up as a man (and you get access to me) OR HE CAN CAN F OFF
- use access to you as a leverage
- this earns you RESPECT from men. men despise you for letting them walk all over you and feel disgust because you dont stand on business
- being a drill sergent wont feel good, but a person who is serious about you will have no problem with you setting and reinforcing boundaries
* extra tip : give stories about "the graveyard"
- the guy who tried to bullshit his way into your life, and the consequences for him trying you => moral of the story : if he tries to act up, he will end up like that guy : no access to you whatsoever
- use storytelling to subtly give hints about what is off limits for you
- make sure to make it sound like a horror story too !
- bring them up from the first date and keep giving them during the next dates too
* 4) let them know from the first date that they are not special
- "you are not that special that you can do whatever you want in this relationship and get away with it. if you do something to me, if you disrespect me, if you cross a boundary, if you go too far, you will not be able to just come back"
- no amount of money, muscles, good looks etc will ever make you take this man back if he has disrespected you !
- if he fucks up, he gets treated the same way as other people have been treated before him
- he needs to see that you actually do what you say : when a girlfriend disses you, she gets cut off
- be a fair judge : a fair judge would never give a sexy man a lesser charge just because he s sexy. the fair judge will give the same amount of time in the joint that he gave to other criminals before, for the same crime
* 5) let them know that your life / world doesn't stop just because you either come into it, or you leave it
- when men meet you, they will try to exercise their power : he calls you at inconvenient times (knowing damn well you have important things to do the next day) to see if you are willing to accept to lose sleep/money/time because of them
- we are NOT door dash ladies
- they MUST plan and schedule ahead of time in order to get access to you
Love how Tomisin keep it so real 😂💞💫
I am learning so much 😮
Definitely going to make major changes !
this channel is the best..
Yeah Im doordash that keeps getting the order wrong orders are placed products never make it to the customer 😂 love this podcast ❤
Tomisin, please let these girl know that often, it's not that they really care about these men, it's the fact that their ego that is bruised. Some of these men are basically playing with their egos, they need to recognize this in order to be stronger and let it go.
This is perfect !!! Thank you Tomisin !!! Always keeping it real !!!!
Amen 🙏🏽 we CAN WAIT! God will enable you ‼️
Rename the show “The players mindset”
The Moment you realize, you’ve done everything wrong. Now working on my skills, while in my 50. Hopefully finding one day my mr right
❤❤❤
My grandmother, RIP taught me this as a child but I didn't listen. I will never take my male friends advice again.
Excellent Advice!😇🤩♠♥♦♣
How would you handle the timetable, if the person you're attracted to has been diagnosed with a terminal condition (1 to 3) years expectancy ?
I'm sorry but why are u going for him? U might end up heartbroken...
cant u see that $he wants the inheritance &;the life insurance policy payout ??
If you are serious fr, down to be there with him as he slowly deteriorates. In my opinion screw time tables. You only have 1 - 3 years of his life left to spend it with him. Handle the relationship genuinely, compassionately, presently. Make the most of the little time you have together. Make as many memories as you can cause soon you’ll have nothing left but memories
@mariaaaa1128 you're correct, but in life we never know how long we'll have with anyone. I know my heart will break if he goes before me.
@@kubii2404 TY, that's how I feel.
The water guzzling is really off-putting;, the sound isn’t great; I’m a fan of the content but I wish you would stop…
🏆most irrelevant comment award
No I agree, it really disturbs the experience b/c he’s doing it often too
Practice gratitude people 😂. You have free content and choice ❤.
Ppl asking for too much these days, hpw do you expect him to not make water guzzling sounds when hes drinking?
Queues: drink wata an mind my busineesssss! Lol. 😂