00:000:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
Jason and Megan. Consider a 529 College Savings Plan for your little one. Significant tax advantages and your child can convert to a ROTH IRA if he/she doesn't attend college. Megan, this will further your responsible money teaching goals for your child. Best of luck to you two (soon to be three).🎉
Ramit just spent 2 recorded hours trying to convince Jason to love and include Megan and his future child in his vision...and Ramit came up short. Why? Because Jason doesn't see them in his future. Megan...you in danger girl.
Funny that this guy was spending 17,000 a year just on hockey tickets but has a goal to spend nothing on his child. Won’t even sell one car. His values are loud and clear.
This one was so hard to watch. Wishing Megan and her baby the absolute best. Ladies, it is very important to choose a partner who values you regardless of income, especially when having children. My heart really goes out to her
And gents it’s important for u to be honest about how u feel about the partner u are with and communicate it clearly. I’m sure Jason has not said clearly and in plain language that he isn’t interested in being a family man 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
I’m remembering when I had my 1st over 30 years ago. Hubby took off two weeks and did a lot of the heavy lifting so I could heal (even the nastiest of diapers). I just don’t see this guy doing it. Hope I’m wrong and he rises to the challenge.
Imagine having $3 million and 8 cars, and watching your pregnant wife cry about money while you're saying I don't want to split guilt-free spending evenly. He had more emotion talking about his cars than his future kid. Sorry Jason, none of us believe that you actually love her or want to be a father.
@@nomaam5891 Not even girlfriend. She referred to him awkwardly as her "lover". I think the reason there is no discussion of family here, is because there is no committed relationship here.
omg, Megan read all the comments below. Get your finances in order and go. Take this man to court, get your child support. You deserve a man who is a real partner and DAD for your child that is HAPPY to be with you and your child. this man is not it. He is not blind- he just DOESNT CARE.
Megan is child like and wanting the fairy tale and this is not the person to make her dreams come true, but just like how she handles her money she is an avoider of looking at the facts of their lack of partnership.
@@wendyp3613 she's trapped by her lifestyle that's underwritten by his money, he's trapped by her having his kid. it's an unhealthy codependency, as for your child support strategy, sounds very coercive, just one that uses the court system to help.
Yeah, how do you spend $4,000 on whatever and draw a line in the sand around keeping (maintaining) all of your cars, but won’t spend anything on a baby? Seems like a lot of “me and my needs” and no selflessness for an innocent, unconditionally loving child.
Sadly he seems to see her as a care taker and not really a financial partner. Not willing to sell one of his "toys" for the benefit of his child is an obvious sign of his selfish/childlike view of HIS life. At least they won't have to get divorced, because unless he changes his mindset, he'll be paying an s-load of child-support in the years to come.
Ok so my honest opinion and it’s based on years of experience. Jason has 8 cars and significant resources but won’t even sell one and doesn’t want to spend anything on his baby. That sums up his character and I don’t see it changing. I honestly think Megan should be seriously considering her and her baby’s future as co parents but not being together. I see no prospect of Jason changing and she is wasting her best years on him.
@@richheruk Well I think that is why she has SO much hesitation in wanting to ask for the funds to be equal and also so much anxiety around money. She has no right to his money so it’s his choice to share or not. He doesn’t really seem on board to share but wants to go have fun with her keeping up on her own.
Guys this isn’t difficult. He LIKES her, but LOVES his money. He’s coming off like her being pregnant was not part of his plans and now he just has to deal with it.
I agree. A man who loves, loves, loves his partner would not behave in the way he has been. She’s let him “get away with it” because she doesn’t feel worthy of asking for what she needs. This could have been dragged out for so many more years had the baby not come into the picture. He was content as he was hitting his financial goals and she was sometimes getting to do fun stuff, even if she had to put things on her credit card sometimes as she was too scared to say she couldn’t afford it (referencing part 1 is the video). They finally got to the heart of the issue at 36mins in. I’m so glad Ramit addressed the fact that even if you aren’t contributing 1 dollar to the relationship, you are still a valuable partner. This man is missing a generosity chip. Which makes sense since his current core values are “risk-reduction”. Having watched to the end, I hope they did make their guilt free money the same after all the discussions. Really can’t wait to read the new book and I pray there is a huge chapter on income inequality within a partnership. It’s such a big issue. Regardless of which gender is the higher earner. I’ve seen it be the root cause of so many issues.
This is exactly it. Clearly this is an old hookup or something that he knocked up and had no plans on committing to. I feel sorry for Megan. This guy sucks.
Lots of companies would love to hire this guy as COO; He prioritizes work over family and even the purchases he makes (cars, theater tickets) are status purchases to impress the guys in the C Suite
It’s sort of sad. You might have corporate values and a ton of money, but you can’t take that to the grave, what a sad and pathetic life this man lives. Can’t even buck up to support the child HE HELPED to make.
I did this for a few years before my salary caught up to my house. Occasionally I think about doing it again so I can retire sooner but having a safe haven is so important to me. Having a child and doing this when you don't HAVE to is truly mind boggling.
Ramit, I appreciate your nudging him towards generosity, but I’d gently offer that financially providing for the mother of your child when she is unable to adequately do so on her own is not generosity. Or, at least, describing it as such is simplistic. It is blatant, socioeconomic responsibility. I hope he sees this as such soon.
Yeah he 1000% feels no sense of duty towards his family. He was very adamant about what HE deserves and the way he was wording it sounded like he NEEDS to be able to spend more than her in their guilt free spending because she's not worth as much as he is. It's no wonder she's begging for equality in the relationship. He constantly makes her feel unequal
While I totally agree with you, Ramit is also meeting him where he is. Telling Jason that it’s his responsibility won’t change how he sees it. Supporting a partner doesn’t optimize the spreadsheet, so it’s only ever going to register as generosity / freebie with Jason
you're assuming they are all on the road and not simply an alternative investment instrument. based on how cheap he acts, i wouldnt be surprised that he keeps them in his rental properties under a cover.
a lot of these episodes are like this, money isnt the cause of the problems, it is a symptom. If you have a strong relationship you can come to an agreement on money most of time, sometimes a strong relationship does need financial advice because they dont have the knowledge or have ingrained habits. When Ramit counsels couples like this I really enjoy the show, when we are glossing over serious issues that no amount of financial advice will fix it seems futile.
Sold my 911 as soon as I knew my son was on the way... best decision I've ever made and I feel wealthier than ever... best of luck to Megan and her child.
I feel that he has a deeply rooted fear of lack but all I could think was he’s going to lose soooo much more than just money in the long run with this frame of mind he has.
She’s in tears for almost the entire two episodes. She knows emotionally what she can’t admit consciously yet. They don’t need a therapist. Get thee to an attorney stat, Megan, and let the court system force him to pay more equitably for your child. The sooner you can extricate from this relationship, the sooner you can recover, hopefully get into some serious therapy so you don’t fall for another screamingly selfish narcissist, because you deserve someone who loves and values you and your child. You can do SO much better. I promise.
I sort of wish you would have called Jason out like you did Megan about the credit card debt. The reason she is thinking this way is because Jason is leaving her stranded. Obviously she shouldn’t have run up the debt, but this goes a lot deeper.
Jasons rich life is money, not a wife and family. It is clear from how he talks that this is more "happening" to him then him "choosing" this family life. We dont know all the details on how they have made this relationship work thus far, but a baby changes EVERYTHING. If they dont fix the relationship part, the money part is null and void. Keeping all of those cars, not cutting down a bit on investing? He doesn't care about them as a whole, he cares about himself more.
It worked, as he found a person he could "experience" all these things even though she did not enjoy some of them(and other things ;)) - funny enough that he did not even pay for everything and he was able to spend most of his income. I know a couple, where he is CEO of a big clothing company (driving AMG's/Porshe BMW7 etc) and she was a waitress (extra job when she was on her last year). But with his money she did not have to work full time, they were traveling, she started cooking and after that, she won MasterChef (not USA)! They are still together, they built a beautiful house on the side of the mountains, and they do not have kids as he is much older(60+) than she(almost 40). Maybe Jason is just different.
I agree with pretty much everything you said. Im just wondering why ppl (not you per se) are mad at/bashing Jason, when she walked headfirst into this burning building. She never demanded marriage as a requirement and successfully managed her fertility for the majority of their relationship, so Im assuming having a child was a choice.
In the previous episode she mentioned that he will destroy her and leave with nothing, if they separate and she will go to court, they probably already talked about it…
@@Flying_condorIt makes me sad to think that she feels this treatment from him is the best she can do in a partner. He doesn’t want to take any financial responsibility of a child he helped create.
This episode is a miss for me. I understand needing to be impartial to an extent but Megan was rebuked hard for being unserious while Jason just gets to hoard all the money and defend his pile of gold from his family. He's shockingly selfish, and her acting silly as a cope, potentially as a defensive behaviour toward Jason, really doesn't warrant treating her like a child. I've watched and enjoyed every episode but I hated that.
100%. I think Ramit unconsciously has a bias to men who are selfish with money, he has that sympathy. I think Ramit has worked with his wife to change his ways, but it probably mirrors his past behaviour.
@@holamissmusica I think it's particularly annoying to watch because I get the sense (as an armchair psychologist) that much of her behavior and struggles with money is related to an inferiority complex that he feeds into. Imagine having to try to keep up with him on her income.
To be honest, I think this was HIGHLY intentional. I think Ramit is seeing Jason can’t change so he’s downloading wisdom into the person who can actually hear it and employ it. He’s secret saying “girl PREPARE to leave!! Imma give you the tools to get out”
@Bynming - I thought the complete opposite... She was talking about paying off a credit card but then relying on it as a crutch whenever she didn't have cash, like she herself was anticipating going back to her behaviors with credit -- and Ramit was giving her much-needed tough love regarding not relying on credit. She clearly can't manage credit, even though some other people are able to. Credit should not even be an option for her. I was very pleased with how he kept advocating for her to this guy - he constantly pushed to try to break through to this guy about how he should prioritize his family over money and even spent a good amount of time supporting the fact that she wanted the guilt-free money split equally.
Not generous , but full partner in every way, regardless of who brings in what $. Both wanting the best for kids. I pray that this child is not special needs and is 100 percent healthy because these issues get magnified by a billion if not. Hugging my full partner and all our kids, including the two with a chromosome triplication. I just can’t fathom the dynamic presented here when life throws a hand Grenade, which, with kids, it often does.
He’s a thing guy. Thing guys boost their ego by buying a lot of things. My neighbor has 2 motorcycles 2 jet skis 2 cars a motor home a trailer and a bunch guns. A real thing guy.
“If you want them back, send over 100k!” Jason: Ehhhh you can keep them. I have to max out my retirement. And honestly he’ll need all the retirement funds available to ensure he can be cared for in his old age because I can tell you now, his relationship with his child is going to suffer due to his love of money and fear of lack and I’m sure Megan will open her eyes by then and won’t care to have a hand in being his unmarried helpmate.
one criticism for Ramit... you are way too gentle with this dude.. It's not about "optimizing".. it's not about him being a math nerd.. Jason is just a narcissist who plans to spend NOTHING on Megan and the baby.. you should call him out and not just beat around the bush!
@@sdl2320 i though they said they need to baby proof both places, id imagine they dont even live together, also she described him as a 'lover' so yeah. probs both pay rent/mortgage etc
I think the reason why he does this is bc it’s their money and he doesn’t want to tell them how to spend it. It’s also not his job to criticize their personal behavior but to help them with their finances. I think if Ramit gave his true opinions it would be similar to what’s being said in the comments.
They obviously have a lovely home. She said she has acquired many things creatively. We are pawns of business to think babies need a lot of new things. Loved ones have baby showers for us, etc ... Purchase a good stroller and safe carseat- sure. She is right, best to invest in quality time. Cooking together healthy meals , maybe copying some of their favorite restaurant recipes would be cost effective and " rich life" feeling.
@@lindaanderson1016 HE has a lovely home. It's not hers and he wants to rent out rooms in it while she's trying to parent their newborn. This is ridiculous.
I yelled at my phone when he said I don't like the idea of earning more only to see it halved. My dude, you're about to be a father. Get used to it. I have more faith in my 23-year-old nephew and his wife who are pregnant and living with family to save up for a house.
I would have liked to hear more about her working history- in the 1st episode they alluded to her not worrying as much as she could- her income was only like 2k as a flight attendant. Not defending him but I wonder if part of him not wanting to halve was her history of not wanting to work??
@@ILovePlants33he may very well have legitimate concerns but he either addresses that head on with a conversation, counseling, or a break up. They have a child and are now a unit. This half in junk isn't going to fly. His statement that he'd rather buy nothing for the baby is telling. Whether they stay together or not, his paycheck is forever cut.
@@ILovePlants33 The $2k is only from reduced earnings. Previously, she was making more and she had the option of working extra shifts. I got the impression that she was actually making OK money for a single woman her age before the pregnancy. It's just that her income was not up to keeping up with his lifestyle.
Men like Jason are dangerous to women and children - when a man doesn’t want a woman or the child, bad things happen. I wish Ramit had been tougher on Jason, because this guy is nothing if not financially abusive.
Glad someone else is seeing what I’m seeing in him. I feel like she needs to be extra careful especially if the relationship ends and he has to pay her child support because she and baby might come up missing. I sense danger looming because he doesn’t want to spend any of his money on anyone else and being forced to pay child support would take away his control. He’s scary 🫣
She had 7 years to see his personality. None of this should be surprising to her. He’s probably been the same person since day 1.. it’s just she’s pregnant and now it’s an issue to her. Humans don’t really do 180 degree changes in personality. It’s primarily her own fault she’s in this situation. Nobody wasted her time but herself.
@@malcolms3220Jesus Christ do you hate women or have mommy issues? In a relationship, successes and failures are 50/50. She is responsible and so is he.
@malcolms3220 I wouldn't say it is primarily her own fault, but some people will treat you as poorly as you allow them to treat you. She became the willing victim to a man who anyone can see is happy to chew her up and spit her out. She saw dollar signs and decided the gamble was worth the risk if she could convince him to invest in her. Having a child together was another way for her to try to get a piece of his pie, but he is such a narcissist that he will barely give her scraps. They are both in the wrong here, and this relationship is doomed to fail.
@@ashleycooley561my thing it doesnt even look like she gets any money from him! The whole 50/50 and being equal is also her own demise. I wish she would stop and just tell him i need this much period.
Can Jason be anymore blatant that it’s all about HIM - HIS money, HIS 8 cars, HIS properties. A value you want to give YOUR BABY is RISK REDUCTION?!?!? WTAF!!!! He may not be flat out saying “I don’t want this baby” but to me, he’s said it numerous times in both vids. Megan girl, wake up and get your sh!t together because this guy is NOT going to be the provider/father you think he’s going to be.
It’s tough when this is what you hear throughout your childhood as well. I still marvel how I got through mine, because this is the kind of talk I heard from my father all the time…right up until the moment I decided I had enough and went no contact with him and my mother. This is what they look forward to if they keep it up: they’ll have money but they won’t have grandchildren and they will no longer have their child once they have grown into an adult. I hope they read these comments and see what we are saying. I am not trashing them because they’re bad people…far from it. However, their actions have an impact on the people around them, especially those that are very vulnerable and are dependent on them for not only the physical basics, but emotional connection and support.
Gosh... This is so painful and sad to listen to. Especially when Ramit had to convince this guy to be generous with the woman carrying his child. He's hoarding - especially with these unnecessary vehicles. Love was not in this conversation.
Marry before you carry, ladies. The unkind truth is that he can do whatever he wants, and she has no legal protections. Do I want him to actually want the life he's created? Sure. But to have a baby with a man that hasnt married you in 6+yrs, while also being paranoid about being left alone is nuts. She has no control in this relationship b/c he never offered any, and she never demanded any.
I gasped when Jason said he would not be happy with having an equal split in guilt-free spending and that it would be "giving up" half of his money. He does not view Megan as his life partner, it seems. Also, the fact that they aren't married means she is completely unprotected if he were to end their relationship. The house is in HIS name only. They don't share finances. He'd take all his money and leave her to fend for herself.
The way he speaks about ‘risk reduction’, systems, processes… he doesn’t see Meghan or the baby as humans, people, love…the best and only wealth that matters. This is very sad.
It is mind-blowing to watch how Jason is so ready to take alllll the credit for anything positive about their financial situation while simultaneously shifting any and all blame about financial problems to Megan. THANK YOU, Ramit, for pointing out to Jason that he ALSO has credit card debt. This guy needs a major reality check. His treatment of Megan is so demeaning, and his expectations of what parenthood will look like are absolutely insane.
I’ve listened to every episode of this podcast and never felt the need to come on UA-cam and leave a comment, but here I am. This was so frustrating to listen to. Jason is so focused on dollars and optimizing and “fairness”. Yet when she asked for an equal amount in GFS, he said that wasn’t fair to his time and effort because he makes more. SHE IS LITERALLY MAKING A BABY IN HER BODY. Can she bill you for that? Cuz you best believe it’s way more than any equally split GFS. Girl, run far away. This person does not see you as an equal, even as you literally create a new life in your body. You deserve way more.
But it sounded like she doesn't like to work, and he does. He works much harder than her, and over the past 7 years she enjoyed the lifestyle that his income provided. Why should she be entitled to half of his money, they're not even married? Most likely he's been a douche their entire relationship, he's possibly the most transparently selfish person i've ever seen, this has to have been something she noticed. Everyone is justified in talking about why did he have a baby with her if he doesn't want to take care of it, but why is nobody asking the question on why SHE chose to have this baby?
Making a baby takes two. He's is paying for a doula and medical bills and a roof over her head. This is a terrible argument. He could get a surrogate if it was that deep.
There's . . . No hope for Megan here, stop pretending like your gamble to date this guy worked out -just get an attorney to help with the child support payments and prepare for him to try and dodge it. Please don't settle for the scraps of a relationship like he's begrudgingly offering you
Yup, convincing him to get her pregnant was another hand to play in her gamble for his money and/or love. It's clear he will never give he any more than required by law. She needs to cut her losses and take him to court for the baby's sake. She spent 8 years at the casino and lost, she could have had a beautiful family in the much time if she chose wiser. He will die sad and alone in a pile of money
The dynamic with this couple is strange. They've been together for 8 years, but they're obviously planning to split up at some point. Megan mentioned in the last episode that she was putting money towards her 401k for her "lonely future." This episode, she said her retirement savings look great because no one will have to take care of her. Jason seems to hold the attitude that his girlfriend and future child as something that will come and go, while his money is forever. I don't really understand why these people are together, but maybe they just have radically different values from me.
Okay 14:48 Jason says he doesn’t want to spend any money on the baby. Megan said a few minutes prior that she has already spent $800 on preparing for their baby. Even that inequality is wild to me, especially given their income disparity. This guy is so closed off to taking his eyes off of his investing goals and his 8 cars and redirecting his attention towards his family. And I know Ramit is trying to do a delicate dance of not completely dog piling on Jason, but he literally starts clapping right after Jason says he wants to spend no money on their baby. That’s a weird thing to clap for…
I missed that. Holy cow, his goal is to buy nothing for the baby. Yes, let's go with that recalled, vomit-encrusted car seat we found on Facebook for free. 🤦🏻♀️
Thank you. I think Ramit totally dropped the ball on this one. He says "I love that you guys are on the same page about how much you are going to spend on the baby" but they are absolutely not... what about the doula? What about the literal thousands of dollars it takes to buy things to prepare your house for a newborn? Sometimes I think Ramit's extreme desire to be objective and stick to his formulaic approach makes him dance around obvious serious red flags. He is treating this couple the same way he treats all other couples and not realizing or addressing what a dangerous financial position this woman is in.
I feel like we weren't given some important clarification on their relationship. I get the sense based on some of her statements and his general attitude this was a case of them not really being in a committed relationship and her wanting a baby and him, perhaps, agreeing to get her pregnant. If that's the case, I don't think he's really required to give her anything beyond what the courts might require for child support. I'm a woman, but I never wanted kids. You can't force a person to want a baby or be a parent. If someone has made it clear to you they're not interested in being involved and you go ahead with it, I feel like that's a choice you made and have to live with. He can live with paying child support for being foolish enough to have a kid he didn't want.
@@amandamueller345 You don't need thousands and thousands...but a solid $1,000 for starter baby stuff has to be expected. Crib, stroller, car seat (possibly two), Pack N Play, baby clothes, etc.
Children are more expensive the older they get. And that’s assuming they are healthy and typical. Instead of caregiving you’re paying for education and activities etc.
That is true, but the process of births themselves are very expensive. I think the average one costs about $18,000 in the USA. So they probably need to redo the CSP to reflect the child
@@CambieSweets I agree, that Megan also needs to grow up. for the sake of her baby. She needs to get out of this awful dynamic! and I know it is the 11th hour, but girl! this is going to be the rest of your life and your baby's. you owe that child ! be a grown up, take the tough decisions and go build your own life. They really feed each other's worst parts.
When he said I’m not stressed about being a new parent. That said everything. He is not seeing himself as a father. He has no plans to care for this child.
If it was me, I would be giving my significant other whatever she needs to make having the baby easier. This guy has such a bizarre attitude toward this baby and the idea of the baby fund. To each his own I guess. Also, it bothers me that Megan called herself useless like that.
I think Ramit did an excellent job at empathizing with him and not calling him out on his selfish behavior, because he will remain receptive and not closed off to advice. But he is, indeed, being selfish and not thinking about themselves as a family unit. He sees himself as the more important member in that partnership. To say he will not have enough of an incentive to earn more money if they get equal amounts of guilt-free spending was shocking. Really? Having a child and a loving partner to care for are not incentive enough?
I thought part 2 would become easier to watch but I was so wrong. I actually appreciated Ramit’s sponsorship breaks in this episode. Jason doesn’t seem to be in the relationship and Megan seems to have very low self esteem to deal with this emotionally unavailable man. I wonder if she’s on the spectrum because she doesn’t seem aware of what she’s truly been in for the last 8 years and yet still wanted to have a baby with him. Poor Ramit tried his best but failed with these two. Proves he can’t help everyone.
i think she thought that having a baby would solidify their relationship, since he hasn’t already married her. not sure why, but i’ve seen plenty of other women follow the same thought process
> I wonder if she’s on the spectrum because she doesn’t seem aware of what she’s truly been in for the last 8 years and yet still wanted to have a baby with him. Are you on the spectrum for being completely unaware at how offensive it is to attribute delusion to is ASD?
Ok, I'm probably an old timer compared to the rest of you! I've been married 41 years and we have 7 children. Relationships are all about teamwork, shared visions, as well as respecting each other's independent choices. A newborn baby is so precious but so much work and so worth it (my baby is in high school) the time goes so quickly. You guys are so fortunate to have so much stability. Don't miss the moments! You will never regret those! Ramit has given you some solid advice and things to think about! Don't take that for granted. Best wishes as you plan your future together. Remember stuff is just that...stuff! Relationships are truly the best part of life❤
Wow - you applied your life to this couple. It is definitely not a match. This guy is “letting” his live-in sex partner have a baby. It’s her thing. He has no interest in being a parent. He prefers to own cars. They don’t have a love relationship. She just lives in his house, sleeps with him, and pays him rent in the form or paying a part of the mortgage payment.
@@deirdrekiely6187 I wish he’d grow up and break up with her. How hard is it to say you simply don’t want a girlfriend and baby? Stringing her along like this is so cruel.
I think it's important to note that Megan is not asking for 50% of Jason's income. She's asking that she get 50% of the guilt-free spending, even if it's just $50. Jason is talking as though he would be completely demotivated by that, when we're just talking about splitting a fraction of his income. Meanwhile, in the real world, dads are often motivated to work harder because it improves their children's lives... Ramit is correct that having a system set up where Megan has to go begging to Jason is just setting up a weird parent-child dynamic. It's also where that credit card debt came from in the first place--Megan put it on her credit card because she didn't want to beg. I really respect her for speaking up and explaining that what she wants is equality and dignity in the relationship.
Guild free spending is the money left over. If he makes 1MM she would have thousands to spend per month. It just doesn't make sense. Yes you can have money but nothing in life is free.
@@joshs239She wasn’t even asking for 50% of ALL the guilt free money. She was just saying they should each get a set amount to spend on whatever they choose & that amount should be the same. Then they would have an amount for joint guilt free things. For example, my husband and I usually spend about $800 on guilt free spending a month. His “no questions asked money”: $175 My “no questions asked money”: $175 Fun/Eating out: $150 Home projects: $300 We get the same amount even though our individual incomes aren’t similar. If either of us works overtime, then we add 50% of the extra money into our own “no questions asked” fund & the other 50% goes to savings goals. This incentives us to work overtime. If they did something like this it would be equal while still incentivizing him to work for bonuses.
This makes sense at your level. Though I would say "home projects" is not guilt free spending I understand what you are saying. My issue is that if there is 4k left over the split would be 1k each then 2k for shared stuff. At these levels it doesn't make sense especially if one person is not working. if they want to do it it's fine but I don't see how that's fair. He's basically paying for all dinners, dates, vacation, etc and giving her money on top of that. If my wife was a CFO and she wanted a 20k bag, she can just buy it. I don't have to be even with me on the budget. She makes the money she can spend more on principal. If I get 700 a month GFS that's amazing and appreciated.
@@joshs239 There isn't going to be $4k available for guilt-free spending, though, because they are going to be paying off credit card debt (which both of them have) and saving a baby spending fund. Plus her income is going to go away for at least a year. The $4k of guilt free spending is kind of imaginary, at least given current income. I still don't understand what their childcare plan is for once she goes back to work after a year...
@@amypruss8391 They have 4k in the budget now it's completely reasonable to think they will have that amount again. They are negotiating how the household will be run for the long term. Saying that there GFS will be less in the short term isn't a defense. The concept is still true. Splitting 1k a month evenly is much more reasonable than 4k+. He has warning potential to make double what he is making now. She is not stupid she knows what she is asking for. It would be more reasonable for her to ask. He pays for all their shared experiences like vacations and dinners. Then give her something reasonable every month for guilt-free.
I'm struggling with this one. I've had several comments typed out and just end up deleting them. I'll simply say I wish them well and I hope they find the joy and love that they are looking for.
How did you become so wise at such a young age? Seriously, as an oldish lady, I’m constantly amazed at your gentleness and love while telling people the truth they desperately need to hear. I’m praying for your continued success. Thank you for helping so many of us.
I think they don’t think the baby will cost anything. It’s like they are forgetting the baby is a toddler, a child, a teenager, college , wedding etc. They don’t even know how much diapers cost.
He does not see a value in her staying at home to take care of their child. Okay guy, go see how much it will cost for a full time nanny. Stay at home parents - you have value.
my thoughts exactly, when she asked for equitable guilt free spending and he said no, because he’s the one who worked for the raise. I’d say ok, I’ll go back to work and you can use your extra income to pay for childcare now and see how much value she was providing. Better yet, Megan can start invoicing him for the child and home care services she’s providing.
especially since flight attendant hours are not nine to five. They will need overnight nannies if she works because he sure as hell isn't doing the child care.
Megan has no self respect. She is about to be a mom and acts like a child. This guy is a narcissist and clearly has issues, but she is also a willing participant in this toxic relationship. She needs to go to therapy for herself and her future baby.
@@sidehustlevikki1066 exactly! I’m generally on her side here, but it was super sketchy how the only time she had a real opinion on anything was when the her guilt free spending came up. I can’t tell if it’s narcissism or just immaturity, but it’s insane to me that guilt free spending is her highest priority right now! (Not to let Jason off the hook, he’s clearly winning the narcissism and money obsession competition here)
yeah thats what happens to women in emotionally abusive relationships, they cower and act like children to avoid the abuse. He's also financially abusive, I highly doubt hes going to give her her own debit card. He's too controlling.
I get the vibe that Jason was upfront that he didn’t want a kid but Megan really did want one. Instead of separating, they came up with some agreement where Jason would agree to having a kid if Megan committed to doing most of the work, but they don’t want to actually say this out loud on the podcast. I think it would explain a lot of the weird dynamics that are going on.
That, or there's some agreed upon non-monogamy or something. But then I see the "AMEN" art and the bizarre murals and wonder if there's something religious happening, but that doesn't seem right either. Overall these two episodes were very weird, very off-putting, sad, unfair, icky. Like a ONS/FWB hookup that just didn't end like it should have. Oh and Megan should try to get child support and stake out on her own with the baby.
That's the impression I get as well. There's something really off with these two, and I wondered in they are one of these "modern" polyamorous couples. I think it's a bad idea to bring a child into such a situation.
His plan is to not buy anything for the baby? Really? Like… Ever? This couple is beyond help. They are going to end up splitting within the first year of the child.
Where is Ramit fighting all the people being negative about Jason and that we don’t know their situation. Everyone is getting the same vibe from this guy and it says something.
I feel so sad for her! She is longing to feel a sense of security for her and her child and he is completely reluctant to give her that peace of mind. He’s planning a life for himself not for his family. The baby is going to turn there world upside down! It is really hard being a parent and they need to be on the same page, unfortunately they do not have the same vision!
the best way to be secure is truly to do it yourself. otherwsie, you are never secure even if you have a loving partner and they die , who will provide for you. this is a wake up call for all ladies, create your own destiny.
Ramit should have pressed him more on the cars. How much are all those worth? Why does he feel like he gets to keep all that but his partner gets nothing? I feel like Megan was dismissed but Jason should have been pressed way more on the car question.
I think Ramit was choosing his battles. I don't think there was a point in doubling down on Jason. The one who needs to get their act together and then run is Megan.
I watched both episodes until the end, and my conclusion is that Jason never wanted a baby, and Megan should have left him for someone who does. I think Megan is one of those women who thinks "He'll change his mind once the baby comes".
Ramit- what about the value of leaving a job and carrying a baby while pregnant and the money saved by her taking care of a newborn?? This was a real blind spot in this discussion. Having a baby and giving it care while pausing your own career is one of the most vulnerable things a woman can do.Jason was completely all about his numbers without regard to this meaningful contribution on her part. What is the value of doing this monetarily?I heard her say that she didn't wish to depend on anyone financially but it is their child - not hers and this was disturbing and frankly sexist. I typically love these interviews but this one was hard to stomach due to its misogyny.
I started watching Jason’s facial expressions part way through this episode, is the only time he gets animated is when he talks about money? I did not see him nod or smile when Megan would talk about the baby or the baby preps.
Seriously I’ve spent the morning crying because I’m exhausted over sick foster kittens. Expensive diet food, testing allergies, vet visits, sleepless night syringe feeding. A baby, I would loose my fucking mind.
This is why I did a lot of soul searching 20 years ago and realized that it was better that I not have children, because I knew that I couldn’t be present the way a child deserves due to health issues I have. It’s 20 years later and I have absolutely no regrets. People need to really be honest with themselves when it comes to having children, so that we have more children that are wanted, valued and loved the way they deserve as opposed to being emotionally neglected, which is what I fear will happen with Megan’s baby. Jason was never honest with himself when it comes to being a parent until it was too late, and it is painfully obvious. He sounds like my own father, and that man caused so much damage and pain during my childhood that I no longer speak with him or my mother who still stands by and enables him.
I’m so sorry about your difficult past! It really doesn’t seem like he wants a committed partnership or child unless it’s convenient to him and doesn’t impact his goals - which it should and will if you take proper care of a child. He really should have remained childfree. They are having so many conversations that you have before kids way to late. I hope they get on the same page and prioritise the child but I suspect this will not end well.
@@Coastpsych_fi99 thank you. Personally, I wanted to stop the continuation of generational trauma on my branch of the family tree, which is a big reason why I chose to be childfree. I just wish that my father had the balls to admit that he shouldn’t have had children as well, but it is what it is. I don’t regret existing, but it hasn’t been easy. I am sad that this could potentially be what their child ends up saying as well in a couple of decades…
@Trix897 agreed! I am childfree as well, partly because I didn't feel I had the ingredients to be a good parent, and partly because my rich life never involved children. I always imagined a life spent with my loved ones and chosen family and an abundance of money to allow us to flourish without financial struggles. Children always felt like a wild card that could derail my rich life dreams. This guy should have come to the same realization and voiced that to his lover. I had elective sterilization and it was the best decision I've ever made, he should have had a vasectomy long ago
@@ashleycooley561 I had my tubal in 2006 and my hysterectomy in 2014. The latter did hit hard in some ways, but I’m still glad I did it. The vast majority of my inner circle are out here in Seattle with the exception of my dear friend in CT that I have known for over 35 years. I feel very blessed that no have the people in my life that I do, and I finally have peace and contentment (a much more permanent state of mind IMO vs happiness or joy, which I find fleeting in some respects). I have a much better life now than I ever had at any point prior to this point, and it feels good because it’s MINE. So yeah, I get it. Peace and contentment to you! ❤️🩹
Sorry but this was ridiculous and unrealistic. This MF'er said @14:45 that "MY GOAL IS TO BUY NOTHING" for the baby and Ramit did not push back on him once saying that wasn't achievable. He literally congratulated them on the father not spending a penny for their SHARED responsibility. The dad is worried about money but not willing to sacrifice a single car? Insane.
Absolutely wild. I am a person who loves and recommends getting stuff for free and buying secondhand when possible (saves money, better for the environment, etc.), but this shocked me too. With babies and children, there are some things you do really need to buy new for safety purposes, like car seats, mattresses, etc. I guess Megan will be sticking those on her credit card too? Combined with everything else in these two episodes, this is such a red flag. I feel sad and worried for Megan, and also for the child. Growing up feeling like a financial burden to one parent is a very difficult way to begin your life. I also feel a bit disappointed by the way Ramit approached this and validated so much of what Jason was saying. I know he was trying to meet him on common ground, but a single 20-something man thinking / behaving this way is much different from a 40-year-old partner / father-to-be thinking and behaving this way and obviously has totally different implications. I don't think this is something he can grow / learn his way out of, especially given his apparent lack of willingness. It feels like he came on the podcast to try and set Megan straight more than to try and figure out how to proceed as a couple.
children's expenses are one of Ramit's blind areas for sure, he has trouble understanding why people spend money on their kids that to a regular non-parent seem illogical.
@@navysubwife85 Agreed. And I think the toll parenting takes on the non-primary-breadwinning parent is another of his blindspots. It's a nice idea in theory for the primary parent (usually a woman) to "just earn more" or for a woman to just "go back to work" after having a baby but the reality for a lot of families is much more nuanced and complex. I love this podcast, but I've noticed these blindspots coming up fairly regularly.
What is sad about this episode. Is that this felt more about his CSP instead of hers :( when he said "this doesn't feel like a stressful period" and Ramit agreed with him (or) backed off. You can obviously see the stress and concern in her face.
Megan, you’re worthy and valuable. Go see a therapist and get curious with yourself on why it feels comfortable to stay in this relationship. I think you know the truth, but don’t want to say it. It’s okay. You can move forward and you need to, sis. We are rooting for you. He wants to be a bachelor- let him.
Maxing his 401k is not a problem at all. He needs to sell at least 4 cars. Releasing all the gas, insurance, title payments to put into his baby fund, 529 etc. Cut down guilt free spending to put into mortgage payment and CC debt payment (risk reduction). Automated the 401k, Roth IRAs and 529. Max those out and live a good life. Maybe sell the second house to invest too. Housing is a consumption asset that requires property taxes, insurance, utilities. Unless he is making money from that house with rental income. He needs to put a system to his money and teach Megan about it. Then open a join checking and put a certain percentage into that. When Megan goes back to work in a year, she can put a same percentage of her post tax income in that acct.
This man has sold his soul to the corporate devil and is the embodiment of greed. He’ll be on his deathbed one day thinking of potential action items and optimization. I feel sorry for the people around him.
Does this guy have one foot out the door on this relationship and he doesn't seem to realize it? He doesn't want to get married. Doesn't seem to trust her with money. And I vaguely remember something about not put her name on the house. I think he thought Ramit was going to high five him for his optimizing
When you are 70, you are not going to say, oh I am glad or I reduced that risk. You will say I am so glad I spent that time with my baby and was there for him. Speaking from experience...
It’s not my goal but I also didn’t create a baby. I’d love to donate my money to important causes and retire early to volunteer for causes I believe in.
I thought it was crazy when he didn't want to give her the same spending money as him. I feel like the baby wasn't something he wanted and she probably is not something he saw a serious future with either. They don't appear to be in love.
She was not “someone” he saw a serious future with. He should’ve been more responsible if he didn’t want a baby. She should’ve discerned that Jason wasn’t ready to be a family man. I get the feeling Megan knew this before proceeding to get pregnant and thought baby trapping this guy would be a good idea.
Ramit is not a couples counselor and doesn’t claim to me. I think what he has done. Here is show them that they aren’t communicating on a deeper level. They need a couples counselor. They need to talk about how they feel and their concerns when one person says something. We need to mirror her back to each other. The other person’s feeling, so the other person feels fully heard. I don’t think their relationship is doomed based off this one conversation. I just think it opens up the door to have conversations. They are not aligned, but they’re also not listening to each other and hearing each other.
I feel like Ramit is taking it too easy on Jason. I think Ramit is out of his element with this couple. Jason doesn’t want to change. He doesn’t want “family” anything. He wants to continue to keep Megan at arms length. I can’t watch the rest of this episode. I’m out. Can’t stand this guy, he has no emotion.
Megan is on her own with this baby! He has no interest in her or THEIR child! She needs to read these comments and start making plans for herself and her future with her baby.
I was really surprised and disappointed that Ramit was so hard on her about the credit cards, but didn’t push him about the cars at all. I don’t know if this is why, but she will likely be doing this on her own soon and it will probably serve her in the long run to come out of this relationship making sure she is debt free. This whole two hours breaks my heart for her because it seems like she chose to have a baby with someone who isn’t interested in making a family, which requires WAYYY more than stacked retirement accounts. I also just can’t imagine renting out multiple rooms in my house with my partner so that I can afford a huge house and 8 cars. She’s a grown up and made her own choices with a man she must know well after 8 years, but damn am I worried for her and that baby!
Megan, Ms. Ma'am, Sweety- This man is checking boxes. He has the house ✅, cars✅, and then soon will have the "family". I guarantee, the second that baby comes out, he will have a new life-"thing" that he must acquire that his attention will go towards. A business, a boat, something. He sees you as an expense for his lifestyle. He is Min-maxing your relationship. I'm betting that he will try to feel different when the baby comes out, but there's no guarantee. He needs an absolute reality check. Jason, if you read this, get your head out of your ass, bro. Go to therapy. Do something....or that eventual alimony and child support bill is going to destroy your mental health.
This is hard to watch. This woman is about to have YOUR kid and you're reluctant to be generous with providing for her especially regarding the guilt-free spend & you have 8 cars?
00:00 0:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube
Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
Get to the very end of the show and see their final comments they send Ramit before commenting.
Jason and Megan. Consider a 529 College Savings Plan for your little one. Significant tax advantages and your child can convert to a ROTH IRA if he/she doesn't attend college. Megan, this will further your responsible money teaching goals for your child. Best of luck to you two (soon to be three).🎉
Ramit just spent 2 recorded hours trying to convince Jason to love and include Megan and his future child in his vision...and Ramit came up short. Why? Because Jason doesn't see them in his future. Megan...you in danger girl.
You are absolutely correct Mr Cam
Jason has no desire for her or that baby. Megan needs to wake up and open her eyes
Megan made her business decision to have this baby tho
Omg - Molly you in danger girl! has been coming up for me ever since I saw this couple - haha
@andreasdwiputra8818 I just want you to know that your opinion it is not normal or morally correct. You are scary.
Funny that this guy was spending 17,000 a year just on hockey tickets but has a goal to spend nothing on his child. Won’t even sell one car. His values are loud and clear.
SPOT ON!!!!!
And his own 401k is maxed out but she has nothing. I feel so sorry for her in the future when she loses everything to him.
YES! I wish Ramit would've told him how unrealistic that was!!!
And he'll be paying for his indecisiveness for the rest of his life
yeah, I mean it's part of his rich life, it's highly intentional, I would have thought this would have gotten the Ramit seal of approval.
This one was so hard to watch. Wishing Megan and her baby the absolute best. Ladies, it is very important to choose a partner who values you regardless of income, especially when having children. My heart really goes out to her
And gents it’s important for u to be honest about how u feel about the partner u are with and communicate it clearly. I’m sure Jason has not said clearly and in plain language that he isn’t interested in being a family man 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
Well said both of you!!!! Cannot emphasize these points enough
I’m remembering when I had my 1st over 30 years ago. Hubby took off two weeks and did a lot of the heavy lifting so I could heal (even the nastiest of diapers). I just don’t see this guy doing it. Hope I’m wrong and he rises to the challenge.
Her childhood trauma led her into the exact situation that would cause her more damage
It’s sad. I don’t think he’s in love with her 😭
Imagine having $3 million and 8 cars, and watching your pregnant wife cry about money while you're saying I don't want to split guilt-free spending evenly. He had more emotion talking about his cars than his future kid. Sorry Jason, none of us believe that you actually love her or want to be a father.
*girlfriend not wife. He made it clear in the 1st episode he isn’t marrying her
@@nomaam5891 Oh right. So even worse.
Spot on
@@ianp622 EXACTLY!!!
@@nomaam5891 Not even girlfriend. She referred to him awkwardly as her "lover". I think the reason there is no discussion of family here, is because there is no committed relationship here.
omg, Megan read all the comments below. Get your finances in order and go. Take this man to court, get your child support. You deserve a man who is a real partner and DAD for your child that is HAPPY to be with you and your child. this man is not it. He is not blind- he just DOESNT CARE.
Megan is child like and wanting the fairy tale and this is not the person to make her dreams come true, but just like how she handles her money she is an avoider of looking at the facts of their lack of partnership.
@@wendyp3613 she's trapped by her lifestyle that's underwritten by his money, he's trapped by her having his kid. it's an unhealthy codependency, as for your child support strategy, sounds very coercive, just one that uses the court system to help.
The problem is Jason doesn’t see a kid and family as part of his rich life. Sad for Megan and his future child
Spot on
Agreed!
Ouch.. yeah I think that's the right way to put it
Yeah, how do you spend $4,000 on whatever and draw a line in the sand around keeping (maintaining) all of your cars, but won’t spend anything on a baby? Seems like a lot of “me and my needs” and no selflessness for an innocent, unconditionally loving child.
Sadly he seems to see her as a care taker and not really a financial partner. Not willing to sell one of his "toys" for the benefit of his child is an obvious sign of his selfish/childlike view of HIS life. At least they won't have to get divorced, because unless he changes his mindset, he'll be paying an s-load of child-support in the years to come.
Ok so my honest opinion and it’s based on years of experience. Jason has 8 cars and significant resources but won’t even sell one and doesn’t want to spend anything on his baby. That sums up his character and I don’t see it changing. I honestly think Megan should be seriously considering her and her baby’s future as co parents but not being together. I see no prospect of Jason changing and she is wasting her best years on him.
You ain't wrong.
Did I hear, kid proof both places, as in they do not even live together or have two places?
I heard that too. They shouldn't be on 'Money for Couples'. They're not a couple - they're two single people having a baby.
@@richheruk Well I think that is why she has SO much hesitation in wanting to ask for the funds to be equal and also so much anxiety around money. She has no right to his money so it’s his choice to share or not. He doesn’t really seem on board to share but wants to go have fun with her keeping up on her own.
@@EmsFitVenture yikes!!
Guys this isn’t difficult. He LIKES her, but LOVES his money. He’s coming off like her being pregnant was not part of his plans and now he just has to deal with it.
She was his "in-house female companion", marriage and a baby was never part of that plan.
I agree. A man who loves, loves, loves his partner would not behave in the way he has been. She’s let him “get away with it” because she doesn’t feel worthy of asking for what she needs. This could have been dragged out for so many more years had the baby not come into the picture. He was content as he was hitting his financial goals and she was sometimes getting to do fun stuff, even if she had to put things on her credit card sometimes as she was too scared to say she couldn’t afford it (referencing part 1 is the video). They finally got to the heart of the issue at 36mins in. I’m so glad Ramit addressed the fact that even if you aren’t contributing 1 dollar to the relationship, you are still a valuable partner. This man is missing a generosity chip. Which makes sense since his current core values are “risk-reduction”. Having watched to the end, I hope they did make their guilt free money the same after all the discussions. Really can’t wait to read the new book and I pray there is a huge chapter on income inequality within a partnership. It’s such a big issue. Regardless of which gender is the higher earner. I’ve seen it be the root cause of so many issues.
I’m not convinced that he even likes her 😬
@@CambieSweets renting out rooms with a newborn and not selling any cars is diabolical!! You might be right lol
This is exactly it. Clearly this is an old hookup or something that he knocked up and had no plans on committing to. I feel sorry for Megan. This guy sucks.
Lots of companies would love to hire this guy as COO; He prioritizes work over family and even the purchases he makes (cars, theater tickets) are status purchases to impress the guys in the C Suite
But not at the cost of their family!
Yup typical corporate sociopath
It’s sort of sad. You might have corporate values and a ton of money, but you can’t take that to the grave, what a sad and pathetic life this man lives. Can’t even buck up to support the child HE HELPED to make.
Yup. His romantic orientation isn't hetero, it's C-suite
This is one of the saddest episodes I have watched to date. Prayers to this young lady🙏🏻
the one that made me saddest was Becky and Dustin but this came close.
@@Sortofwriteraww... Becky was a sweet gal.
@@Sortofwriter Oh man, that was absolutely the most heartbreaking episode.
@@Capycorg She was and Dustin was awful to her.
@@Sortofwriteris that the one where she
moved across country and he was like, you’re butting in on my lifestyle…?
Renting part of their house with a fragile newborn instead of selling 1 of 8 cars. terrible
isn't it? totally asinine.
that is WILD!!
Finally someone said it
Yeah, insane!!!
I did this for a few years before my salary caught up to my house. Occasionally I think about doing it again so I can retire sooner but having a safe haven is so important to me. Having a child and doing this when you don't HAVE to is truly mind boggling.
“My goal is to buy nothing” for my baby 🚩it’s great to get things secondhand but he sees the baby as Megan’s to deal with
I commented on last week’s ep that I bet he is going to make all the baby expenses come from Megan’s paycheck.
@@maggiegermano6136 what paychek? she will be on mat leave
@@TheSharmam once she's back to work.
On top of leaving it to Megan to deal with, she will be no income and he is putting nothing towards her or this baby. poor woman
And it’s sad how it always falls on mom because dicks like this guy can’t step up. You chose to impregnate her, now face the consequences of that.
Ramit, I appreciate your nudging him towards generosity, but I’d gently offer that financially providing for the mother of your child when she is unable to adequately do so on her own is not generosity. Or, at least, describing it as such is simplistic. It is blatant, socioeconomic responsibility. I hope he sees this as such soon.
Exactly. Parents aren't generous for providing food and a roof over your head as a child.
Yeah he 1000% feels no sense of duty towards his family. He was very adamant about what HE deserves and the way he was wording it sounded like he NEEDS to be able to spend more than her in their guilt free spending because she's not worth as much as he is. It's no wonder she's begging for equality in the relationship. He constantly makes her feel unequal
While I totally agree with you, Ramit is also meeting him where he is. Telling Jason that it’s his responsibility won’t change how he sees it. Supporting a partner doesn’t optimize the spreadsheet, so it’s only ever going to register as generosity / freebie with Jason
Applause. Great comment.
Agree, Ramit went way too easy on this guy. I get the approach, so not to make people defensive, but some truths are hard to hear.
8 cars, 8 registration, gas bill and insurance. How is that risk reduction?
I am dying to know where he stores them all and how much that costs.
you're assuming they are all on the road and not simply an alternative investment instrument. based on how cheap he acts, i wouldnt be surprised that he keeps them in his rental properties under a cover.
He's happy to invest in maintaining all those idle cars but the idea of investing in his child? Unfathomable.
@@jozigalm8159
He does not anticipate that having a child will change his life in any significant way. He has his cars, and Megan will have her baby.
Remit, please, please do a follow-up on this couple next year!!
Please!!!
For sure Will be 2 complete apart follow-up
Two episodes, because their money will be completely separate by then and include child support.
It doesn't feel like this is a money problem. This feels like it is a relationship problem. :( I feel really sad for her.
a lot of these episodes are like this, money isnt the cause of the problems, it is a symptom. If you have a strong relationship you can come to an agreement on money most of time, sometimes a strong relationship does need financial advice because they dont have the knowledge or have ingrained habits. When Ramit counsels couples like this I really enjoy the show, when we are glossing over serious issues that no amount of financial advice will fix it seems futile.
Sold my 911 as soon as I knew my son was on the way... best decision I've ever made and I feel wealthier than ever... best of luck to Megan and her child.
That soothes me. I hope she sees these comments. She can do so much better than him.
I feel that he has a deeply rooted fear of lack but all I could think was he’s going to lose soooo much more than just money in the long run with this frame of mind he has.
She’s in tears for almost the entire two episodes. She knows emotionally what she can’t admit consciously yet. They don’t need a therapist. Get thee to an attorney stat, Megan, and let the court system force him to pay more equitably for your child. The sooner you can extricate from this relationship, the sooner you can recover, hopefully get into some serious therapy so you don’t fall for another screamingly selfish narcissist, because you deserve someone who loves and values you and your child. You can do SO much better. I promise.
I sort of wish you would have called Jason out like you did Megan about the credit card debt. The reason she is thinking this way is because Jason is leaving her stranded. Obviously she shouldn’t have run up the debt, but this goes a lot deeper.
It saddened me how many times she said something to the effect of “my income doesn’t let me live the same luxurious life my partner lives.”
😢😢
Absolutely! How did Ramit miss this? He dropped the ball
I was waiting for him to berate him.
Jasons rich life is money, not a wife and family. It is clear from how he talks that this is more "happening" to him then him "choosing" this family life. We dont know all the details on how they have made this relationship work thus far, but a baby changes EVERYTHING. If they dont fix the relationship part, the money part is null and void. Keeping all of those cars, not cutting down a bit on investing? He doesn't care about them as a whole, he cares about himself more.
It worked, as he found a person he could "experience" all these things even though she did not enjoy some of them(and other things ;)) - funny enough that he did not even pay for everything and he was able to spend most of his income.
I know a couple, where he is CEO of a big clothing company (driving AMG's/Porshe BMW7 etc) and she was a waitress (extra job when she was on her last year). But with his money she did not have to work full time, they were traveling, she started cooking and after that, she won MasterChef (not USA)! They are still together, they built a beautiful house on the side of the mountains, and they do not have kids as he is much older(60+) than she(almost 40). Maybe Jason is just different.
I agree with pretty much everything you said. Im just wondering why ppl (not you per se) are mad at/bashing Jason, when she walked headfirst into this burning building. She never demanded marriage as a requirement and successfully managed her fertility for the majority of their relationship, so Im assuming having a child was a choice.
Yeah. I love it when women choose men like this to be their childrens’ fathers,
NOT.
This man is gonna learn how poorly he optimized when he is getting bent over for child support.
Unfortunately Megan seems like the type of woman that won’t send him to court for child support. She needs to grow a back bone but doesn’t have one
In the previous episode she mentioned that he will destroy her and leave with nothing, if they separate and she will go to court, they probably already talked about it…
@@Flying_condor She wasn't thinking about having a kid. She will win. She has the wild card and they are not married, so she really wins.
@@cmay4242 that’s all very sad anyway..
@@Flying_condorIt makes me sad to think that she feels this treatment from him is the best she can do in a partner. He doesn’t want to take any financial responsibility of a child he helped create.
This episode is a miss for me. I understand needing to be impartial to an extent but Megan was rebuked hard for being unserious while Jason just gets to hoard all the money and defend his pile of gold from his family. He's shockingly selfish, and her acting silly as a cope, potentially as a defensive behaviour toward Jason, really doesn't warrant treating her like a child. I've watched and enjoyed every episode but I hated that.
Exactly. Ramit should have pressed a lot harder on the cars
100%. I think Ramit unconsciously has a bias to men who are selfish with money, he has that sympathy. I think Ramit has worked with his wife to change his ways, but it probably mirrors his past behaviour.
@@holamissmusica I think it's particularly annoying to watch because I get the sense (as an armchair psychologist) that much of her behavior and struggles with money is related to an inferiority complex that he feeds into. Imagine having to try to keep up with him on her income.
To be honest, I think this was HIGHLY intentional. I think Ramit is seeing Jason can’t change so he’s downloading wisdom into the person who can actually hear it and employ it. He’s secret saying “girl PREPARE to leave!! Imma give you the tools to get out”
@Bynming - I thought the complete opposite... She was talking about paying off a credit card but then relying on it as a crutch whenever she didn't have cash, like she herself was anticipating going back to her behaviors with credit -- and Ramit was giving her much-needed tough love regarding not relying on credit. She clearly can't manage credit, even though some other people are able to. Credit should not even be an option for her. I was very pleased with how he kept advocating for her to this guy - he constantly pushed to try to break through to this guy about how he should prioritize his family over money and even spent a good amount of time supporting the fact that she wanted the guilt-free money split equally.
This episode has me hugging my generous husband a little tighter lol
Please do ❤❤
Ah bless you!
Not generous , but full partner in every way, regardless of who brings in what $. Both wanting the best for kids. I pray that this child is not special needs and is 100 percent healthy because these issues get magnified by a billion if not. Hugging my full partner and all our kids, including the two with a chromosome triplication. I just can’t fathom the dynamic presented here when life throws a hand Grenade, which, with kids, it often does.
Loving provider men >>>>>
I hope she takes as much child support as she can get from this man when they break up
he can afford a better lawyer and get out of that too!!
She said herself “He will fight tooth and nail over his money” and she has no money to fight him in court. Won’t end well for her playing that game
if he wanted the baby in the 1st place. Doesn't seem like it. It's such a sad episode to watch, to think it's a follow-up :(
If this man's wife and child were taken hostage one day while driving one of his cars, he'd only worry about the car.
If that happened I’d be convinced he was behind it 😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
She’s not even his wife! He just sees her a someone to hang with and now this whole baby thing is dragging on his investment returns.
He’s a thing guy. Thing guys boost their ego by buying a lot of things. My neighbor has 2 motorcycles 2 jet skis 2 cars a motor home a trailer and a bunch guns. A real thing guy.
“If you want them back, send over 100k!” Jason: Ehhhh you can keep them. I have to max out my retirement.
And honestly he’ll need all the retirement funds available to ensure he can be cared for in his old age because I can tell you now, his relationship with his child is going to suffer due to his love of money and fear of lack and I’m sure Megan will open her eyes by then and won’t care to have a hand in being his unmarried helpmate.
one criticism for Ramit... you are way too gentle with this dude.. It's not about "optimizing".. it's not about him being a math nerd.. Jason is just a narcissist who plans to spend NOTHING on Megan and the baby.. you should call him out and not just beat around the bush!
He’s letting her live completely rent free. She has zero housing costs. I wouldn’t call that nothing?
@@sdl2320 i though they said they need to baby proof both places, id imagine they dont even live together, also she described him as a 'lover' so yeah. probs both pay rent/mortgage etc
I’m afraid that Ramit is always more gentle with the high earners in couples.
@@CynthiaSpencerif Ramit is planning on totally rebranding to Money for Couples, he needs to stop doing this!
I think the reason why he does this is bc it’s their money and he doesn’t want to tell them how to spend it. It’s also not his job to criticize their personal behavior but to help them with their finances. I think if Ramit gave his true opinions it would be similar to what’s being said in the comments.
What crazy to me is making almost triple the average salary and saying you don’t wanna buy anything for the baby??
They obviously have a lovely home. She said she has acquired many things creatively. We are pawns of business to think babies need a lot of new things.
Loved ones have baby showers for us, etc ...
Purchase a good stroller and safe carseat- sure.
She is right, best to invest in quality time. Cooking together healthy meals , maybe copying some of their favorite restaurant recipes would be cost effective and " rich life" feeling.
@@lindaanderson1016 HE has a lovely home. It's not hers and he wants to rent out rooms in it while she's trying to parent their newborn. This is ridiculous.
I yelled at my phone when he said I don't like the idea of earning more only to see it halved. My dude, you're about to be a father. Get used to it. I have more faith in my 23-year-old nephew and his wife who are pregnant and living with family to save up for a house.
I would have liked to hear more about her working history- in the 1st episode they alluded to her not worrying as much as she could- her income was only like 2k as a flight attendant. Not defending him but I wonder if part of him not wanting to halve was her history of not wanting to work??
@@ILovePlants33he may very well have legitimate concerns but he either addresses that head on with a conversation, counseling, or a break up. They have a child and are now a unit. This half in junk isn't going to fly. His statement that he'd rather buy nothing for the baby is telling. Whether they stay together or not, his paycheck is forever cut.
@@ILovePlants33 The $2k is only from reduced earnings. Previously, she was making more and she had the option of working extra shifts. I got the impression that she was actually making OK money for a single woman her age before the pregnancy. It's just that her income was not up to keeping up with his lifestyle.
Right??? Like dude, then you should have remained single and not created a child. 🤡
Seriously. Wait until he gets a court order to pay half of his income in child support.
Men like Jason are dangerous to women and children - when a man doesn’t want a woman or the child, bad things happen. I wish Ramit had been tougher on Jason, because this guy is nothing if not financially abusive.
Glad someone else is seeing what I’m seeing in him. I feel like she needs to be extra careful especially if the relationship ends and he has to pay her child support because she and baby might come up missing. I sense danger looming because he doesn’t want to spend any of his money on anyone else and being forced to pay child support would take away his control. He’s scary 🫣
She had 7 years to see his personality. None of this should be surprising to her. He’s probably been the same person since day 1.. it’s just she’s pregnant and now it’s an issue to her. Humans don’t really do 180 degree changes in personality.
It’s primarily her own fault she’s in this situation. Nobody wasted her time but herself.
@@malcolms3220Jesus Christ do you hate women or have mommy issues? In a relationship, successes and failures are 50/50. She is responsible and so is he.
@malcolms3220 I wouldn't say it is primarily her own fault, but some people will treat you as poorly as you allow them to treat you. She became the willing victim to a man who anyone can see is happy to chew her up and spit her out. She saw dollar signs and decided the gamble was worth the risk if she could convince him to invest in her. Having a child together was another way for her to try to get a piece of his pie, but he is such a narcissist that he will barely give her scraps. They are both in the wrong here, and this relationship is doomed to fail.
@@ashleycooley561my thing it doesnt even look like she gets any money from him! The whole 50/50 and being equal is also her own demise. I wish she would stop and just tell him i need this much period.
Wow, Jason is such a jerk. My wife and I just had our first baby and I can't imagine being as selfish as this guy is.
Can Jason be anymore blatant that it’s all about HIM - HIS money, HIS 8 cars, HIS properties. A value you want to give YOUR BABY is RISK REDUCTION?!?!? WTAF!!!! He may not be flat out saying “I don’t want this baby” but to me, he’s said it numerous times in both vids. Megan girl, wake up and get your sh!t together because this guy is NOT going to be the provider/father you think he’s going to be.
It’s tough when this is what you hear throughout your childhood as well.
I still marvel how I got through mine, because this is the kind of talk I heard from my father all the time…right up until the moment I decided I had enough and went no contact with him and my mother.
This is what they look forward to if they keep it up: they’ll have money but they won’t have grandchildren and they will no longer have their child once they have grown into an adult.
I hope they read these comments and see what we are saying. I am not trashing them because they’re bad people…far from it. However, their actions have an impact on the people around them, especially those that are very vulnerable and are dependent on them for not only the physical basics, but emotional connection and support.
Exactly. This guy needs to grow tf up. Man child.
@@Trix897 Exactly! I’m sorry that you had to experience that but kudos to you for setting up necessary boundaries for yourself! ❤️
lol at what the actual fuck 🤣🤣🤣
@@lowlowseesee exactly, but there are “men” like that in the world, sadly.
Gosh... This is so painful and sad to listen to. Especially when Ramit had to convince this guy to be generous with the woman carrying his child. He's hoarding - especially with these unnecessary vehicles. Love was not in this conversation.
Marry before you carry, ladies. The unkind truth is that he can do whatever he wants, and she has no legal protections. Do I want him to actually want the life he's created? Sure. But to have a baby with a man that hasnt married you in 6+yrs, while also being paranoid about being left alone is nuts. She has no control in this relationship b/c he never offered any, and she never demanded any.
I gasped when Jason said he would not be happy with having an equal split in guilt-free spending and that it would be "giving up" half of his money. He does not view Megan as his life partner, it seems. Also, the fact that they aren't married means she is completely unprotected if he were to end their relationship. The house is in HIS name only. They don't share finances. He'd take all his money and leave her to fend for herself.
Megan....Run! This dude is a major 🚩
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 🚩
Now she’s totally dependent on him.
He legit does not want the kid. It's hard to hear but it's the truth. A family is not part of his rich life. Good luck to her
Absolutely. He wants a no strings attached girlfriend to go skiing with, nothing more.
@@LabradorsAreGoodDogsand who will happily pay for herself with the skiing.
The way he speaks about ‘risk reduction’, systems, processes… he doesn’t see Meghan or the baby as humans, people, love…the best and only wealth that matters. This is very sad.
This 💯. 😢
It is mind-blowing to watch how Jason is so ready to take alllll the credit for anything positive about their financial situation while simultaneously shifting any and all blame about financial problems to Megan. THANK YOU, Ramit, for pointing out to Jason that he ALSO has credit card debt.
This guy needs a major reality check. His treatment of Megan is so demeaning, and his expectations of what parenthood will look like are absolutely insane.
I’ve listened to every episode of this podcast and never felt the need to come on UA-cam and leave a comment, but here I am.
This was so frustrating to listen to. Jason is so focused on dollars and optimizing and “fairness”.
Yet when she asked for an equal amount in GFS, he said that wasn’t fair to his time and effort because he makes more. SHE IS LITERALLY MAKING A BABY IN HER BODY. Can she bill you for that? Cuz you best believe it’s way more than any equally split GFS.
Girl, run far away. This person does not see you as an equal, even as you literally create a new life in your body. You deserve way more.
But it sounded like she doesn't like to work, and he does. He works much harder than her, and over the past 7 years she enjoyed the lifestyle that his income provided. Why should she be entitled to half of his money, they're not even married? Most likely he's been a douche their entire relationship, he's possibly the most transparently selfish person i've ever seen, this has to have been something she noticed.
Everyone is justified in talking about why did he have a baby with her if he doesn't want to take care of it, but why is nobody asking the question on why SHE chose to have this baby?
Making a baby takes two. He's is paying for a doula and medical bills and a roof over her head. This is a terrible argument. He could get a surrogate if it was that deep.
Giving my husband an extra-long hug when he gets home tonight and thank him for being such an amazing partner/husband/dad.
No, but FOR REAL.
Lmao!!! This episode really makes you appreciate your partner... well at least something good is coming out of this
There's . . . No hope for Megan here, stop pretending like your gamble to date this guy worked out -just get an attorney to help with the child support payments and prepare for him to try and dodge it. Please don't settle for the scraps of a relationship like he's begrudgingly offering you
Yup, convincing him to get her pregnant was another hand to play in her gamble for his money and/or love. It's clear he will never give he any more than required by law. She needs to cut her losses and take him to court for the baby's sake. She spent 8 years at the casino and lost, she could have had a beautiful family in the much time if she chose wiser. He will die sad and alone in a pile of money
The dynamic with this couple is strange. They've been together for 8 years, but they're obviously planning to split up at some point. Megan mentioned in the last episode that she was putting money towards her 401k for her "lonely future." This episode, she said her retirement savings look great because no one will have to take care of her. Jason seems to hold the attitude that his girlfriend and future child as something that will come and go, while his money is forever. I don't really understand why these people are together, but maybe they just have radically different values from me.
He needs to grow up. Man child
Okay 14:48 Jason says he doesn’t want to spend any money on the baby. Megan said a few minutes prior that she has already spent $800 on preparing for their baby. Even that inequality is wild to me, especially given their income disparity. This guy is so closed off to taking his eyes off of his investing goals and his 8 cars and redirecting his attention towards his family. And I know Ramit is trying to do a delicate dance of not completely dog piling on Jason, but he literally starts clapping right after Jason says he wants to spend no money on their baby. That’s a weird thing to clap for…
How can his goal be not to spend on the baby? Does he even want this baby?
I missed that. Holy cow, his goal is to buy nothing for the baby. Yes, let's go with that recalled, vomit-encrusted car seat we found on Facebook for free. 🤦🏻♀️
Thank you. I think Ramit totally dropped the ball on this one. He says "I love that you guys are on the same page about how much you are going to spend on the baby" but they are absolutely not... what about the doula? What about the literal thousands of dollars it takes to buy things to prepare your house for a newborn? Sometimes I think Ramit's extreme desire to be objective and stick to his formulaic approach makes him dance around obvious serious red flags. He is treating this couple the same way he treats all other couples and not realizing or addressing what a dangerous financial position this woman is in.
I feel like we weren't given some important clarification on their relationship. I get the sense based on some of her statements and his general attitude this was a case of them not really being in a committed relationship and her wanting a baby and him, perhaps, agreeing to get her pregnant. If that's the case, I don't think he's really required to give her anything beyond what the courts might require for child support. I'm a woman, but I never wanted kids. You can't force a person to want a baby or be a parent. If someone has made it clear to you they're not interested in being involved and you go ahead with it, I feel like that's a choice you made and have to live with. He can live with paying child support for being foolish enough to have a kid he didn't want.
@@amandamueller345 You don't need thousands and thousands...but a solid $1,000 for starter baby stuff has to be expected. Crib, stroller, car seat (possibly two), Pack N Play, baby clothes, etc.
Babies turn into children who turn into teenagers. “Baby fund” doesn’t stop after the first two years.
I feel so bad for the baby. Neither Jason or Megan are fully engaged or emotionally intelligent enough to raise a child.
Children are more expensive the older they get.
And that’s assuming they are healthy and typical.
Instead of caregiving you’re paying for education and activities etc.
That is true, but the process of births themselves are very expensive. I think the average one costs about $18,000 in the USA. So they probably need to redo the CSP to reflect the child
Taking a newborn on a trip to New Zealand in the follow up. lol Enjoy!
@@CambieSweets I agree, that Megan also needs to grow up. for the sake of her baby. She needs to get out of this awful dynamic! and I know it is the 11th hour, but girl! this is going to be the rest of your life and your baby's. you owe that child ! be a grown up, take the tough decisions and go build your own life. They really feed each other's worst parts.
When he said I’m not stressed about being a new parent. That said everything. He is not seeing himself as a father. He has no plans to care for this child.
Of course, plans to take 0 time off. 😢
When they talk about the future, they each talk about themselves and not each other. No one talks about them as a family.
That's not true. Megan says over and over that she wants intentional quality time together. She says that she wants Jason to
engage with the baby.
@@SuzanneU But he never reciprocates.
If it was me, I would be giving my significant other whatever she needs to make having the baby easier. This guy has such a bizarre attitude toward this baby and the idea of the baby fund. To each his own I guess. Also, it bothers me that Megan called herself useless like that.
I think Ramit did an excellent job at empathizing with him and not calling him out on his selfish behavior, because he will remain receptive and not closed off to advice. But he is, indeed, being selfish and not thinking about themselves as a family unit. He sees himself as the more important member in that partnership. To say he will not have enough of an incentive to earn more money if they get equal amounts of guilt-free spending was shocking. Really? Having a child and a loving partner to care for are not incentive enough?
A rich man and a generous man are not the same. I want a generous empathetic man
She'd be living a much richer life if she was with a man who earned £70k but shared the same values as her.
That man said hell nah im not selling one of my 8 cars!
Would rather rent another room in their house when they have a vulnerable new born baby. He's a nightmare.
I thought part 2 would become easier to watch but I was so wrong. I actually appreciated Ramit’s sponsorship breaks in this episode. Jason doesn’t seem to be in the relationship and Megan seems to have very low self esteem to deal with this emotionally unavailable man. I wonder if she’s on the spectrum because she doesn’t seem aware of what she’s truly been in for the last 8 years and yet still wanted to have a baby with him. Poor Ramit tried his best but failed with these two. Proves he can’t help everyone.
Probably thought getting pregnant would finally make him want to lock it down
i think she thought that having a baby would solidify their relationship, since he hasn’t already married her. not sure why, but i’ve seen plenty of other women follow the same thought process
@@veri.contrary yup! Marriage under duress rarely works out
> I wonder if she’s on the spectrum because she doesn’t seem aware of what she’s truly been in for the last 8 years and yet still wanted to have a baby with him.
Are you on the spectrum for being completely unaware at how offensive it is to attribute delusion to is ASD?
I hate car guys 😐 in this moment I NEEDED caleb hammer to tell him “you’re saying the car is more valuable than your CHILD????”
Car guys are not the problem. Guys who won’t sell one of their 8 cars to support their pregnant wife and unborn child are the problem! 😅
Ok, I'm probably an old timer compared to the rest of you! I've been married 41 years and we have 7 children. Relationships are all about teamwork, shared visions, as well as respecting each other's independent choices. A newborn baby is so precious but so much work and so worth it (my baby is in high school) the time goes so quickly. You guys are so fortunate to have so much stability. Don't miss the moments! You will never regret those! Ramit has given you some solid advice and things to think about! Don't take that for granted. Best wishes as you plan your future together. Remember stuff is just that...stuff! Relationships are truly the best part of life❤
Wow - you applied your life to this couple. It is definitely not a match. This guy is “letting” his live-in sex partner have a baby. It’s her thing. He has no interest in being a parent. He prefers to own cars.
They don’t have a love relationship. She just lives in his house, sleeps with him, and pays him rent in the form or paying a part of the mortgage payment.
23:58 Ramit describes this relationship as a "business partnership. " That summarizes the whole episode. These people are not " a couple. "
More like a charity case that Jason is desperately trying to underfund.
@rebeccaogrady2995 I think it's for show for him and she gets a baby.
Two people who have completely different values shouls not have stayed together for 8 years or have a child out of wedlock.
I bet she was waiting for him to "come around" and commit.
@@deirdrekiely6187 I wish he’d grow up and break up with her. How hard is it to say you simply don’t want a girlfriend and baby? Stringing her along like this is so cruel.
@@eldritchbeautyTHIS!!!! It’s obvious he’s only concerned about him and his future
@@eldritchbeautythey both need to grow up **
one of them has no values at all!
I think it's important to note that Megan is not asking for 50% of Jason's income. She's asking that she get 50% of the guilt-free spending, even if it's just $50. Jason is talking as though he would be completely demotivated by that, when we're just talking about splitting a fraction of his income. Meanwhile, in the real world, dads are often motivated to work harder because it improves their children's lives...
Ramit is correct that having a system set up where Megan has to go begging to Jason is just setting up a weird parent-child dynamic. It's also where that credit card debt came from in the first place--Megan put it on her credit card because she didn't want to beg. I really respect her for speaking up and explaining that what she wants is equality and dignity in the relationship.
Guild free spending is the money left over. If he makes 1MM she would have thousands to spend per month. It just doesn't make sense. Yes you can have money but nothing in life is free.
@@joshs239She wasn’t even asking for 50% of ALL the guilt free money. She was just saying they should each get a set amount to spend on whatever they choose & that amount should be the same. Then they would have an amount for joint guilt free things. For example, my husband and I usually spend about $800 on guilt free spending a month.
His “no questions asked money”: $175
My “no questions asked money”: $175
Fun/Eating out: $150
Home projects: $300
We get the same amount even though our individual incomes aren’t similar. If either of us works overtime, then we add 50% of the extra money into our own “no questions asked” fund & the other 50% goes to savings goals. This incentives us to work overtime. If they did something like this it would be equal while still incentivizing him to work for bonuses.
This makes sense at your level. Though I would say "home projects" is not guilt free spending I understand what you are saying. My issue is that if there is 4k left over the split would be 1k each then 2k for shared stuff. At these levels it doesn't make sense especially if one person is not working. if they want to do it it's fine but I don't see how that's fair. He's basically paying for all dinners, dates, vacation, etc and giving her money on top of that. If my wife was a CFO and she wanted a 20k bag, she can just buy it. I don't have to be even with me on the budget. She makes the money she can spend more on principal. If I get 700 a month GFS that's amazing and appreciated.
@@joshs239 There isn't going to be $4k available for guilt-free spending, though, because they are going to be paying off credit card debt (which both of them have) and saving a baby spending fund. Plus her income is going to go away for at least a year. The $4k of guilt free spending is kind of imaginary, at least given current income.
I still don't understand what their childcare plan is for once she goes back to work after a year...
@@amypruss8391 They have 4k in the budget now it's completely reasonable to think they will have that amount again. They are negotiating how the household will be run for the long term. Saying that there GFS will be less in the short term isn't a defense. The concept is still true. Splitting 1k a month evenly is much more reasonable than 4k+. He has warning potential to make double what he is making now. She is not stupid she knows what she is asking for. It would be more reasonable for her to ask. He pays for all their shared experiences like vacations and dinners. Then give her something reasonable every month for guilt-free.
I'm struggling with this one. I've had several comments typed out and just end up deleting them. I'll simply say I wish them well and I hope they find the joy and love that they are looking for.
Totally understand what you mean. It's the first episode I couldn't listen to until the end, I found it so hard to bear.
How did you become so wise at such a young age? Seriously, as an oldish lady, I’m constantly amazed at your gentleness and love while telling people the truth they desperately need to hear. I’m praying for your continued success. Thank you for helping so many of us.
that's his money and her baby.
Not true. Seems like his parked cars are his babies.
I think they don’t think the baby will cost anything. It’s like they are forgetting the baby is a toddler, a child, a teenager, college , wedding etc. They don’t even know how much diapers cost.
He does not see a value in her staying at home to take care of their child. Okay guy, go see how much it will cost for a full time nanny. Stay at home parents - you have value.
my thoughts exactly, when she asked for equitable guilt free spending and he said no, because he’s the one who worked for the raise. I’d say ok, I’ll go back to work and you can use your extra income to pay for childcare now and see how much value she was providing. Better yet, Megan can start invoicing him for the child and home care services she’s providing.
especially since flight attendant hours are not nine to five. They will need overnight nannies if she works because he sure as hell isn't doing the child care.
Megan has no self respect. She is about to be a mom and acts like a child. This guy is a narcissist and clearly has issues, but she is also a willing participant in this toxic relationship. She needs to go to therapy for herself and her future baby.
Yeah. I agree. I think she came here to have someone else to tell Jason to be fair
@@sidehustlevikki1066 exactly! I’m generally on her side here, but it was super sketchy how the only time she had a real opinion on anything was when the her guilt free spending came up. I can’t tell if it’s narcissism or just immaturity, but it’s insane to me that guilt free spending is her highest priority right now! (Not to let Jason off the hook, he’s clearly winning the narcissism and money obsession competition here)
yeah thats what happens to women in emotionally abusive relationships, they cower and act like children to avoid the abuse. He's also financially abusive, I highly doubt hes going to give her her own debit card. He's too controlling.
Lol, paying to go skiing and climbing is financially abusive? The year she is taking off not working must be abuse as well.
Having to convince your partner to be giving towards you is a red flag
I like maxing…
Says the guy with 8 cars, you know, which always go up in value
I get the vibe that Jason was upfront that he didn’t want a kid but Megan really did want one. Instead of separating, they came up with some agreement where Jason would agree to having a kid if Megan committed to doing most of the work, but they don’t want to actually say this out loud on the podcast.
I think it would explain a lot of the weird dynamics that are going on.
You might be right. Honestly, if that’s true, shame on her.
She keeps saying “my baby” and not “our baby” 🤔
That, or there's some agreed upon non-monogamy or something. But then I see the "AMEN" art and the bizarre murals and wonder if there's something religious happening, but that doesn't seem right either. Overall these two episodes were very weird, very off-putting, sad, unfair, icky. Like a ONS/FWB hookup that just didn't end like it should have.
Oh and Megan should try to get child support and stake out on her own with the baby.
That's the impression I get as well. There's something really off with these two, and I wondered in they are one of these "modern" polyamorous couples. I think it's a bad idea to bring a child into such a situation.
Within 18 months of the baby being born they will split up leaving Megan to fend for herself.
His plan is to not buy anything for the baby? Really? Like… Ever? This couple is beyond help. They are going to end up splitting within the first year of the child.
Where is Ramit fighting all the people being negative about Jason and that we don’t know their situation. Everyone is getting the same vibe from this guy and it says something.
Very true!! I feel like all the gentle sounding questions were just razor sharp socratic method
“I hate shopping so I’ll pay for everything if she does it all” what a tool.
Right?! He didn’t even think to arrange delivery to make it any easier. As long as he doesn’t have to do it he doesn’t care if it adds to her to-dos.
I feel so sad for her! She is longing to feel a sense of security for her and her child and he is completely reluctant to give her that peace of mind. He’s planning a life for himself not for his family. The baby is going to turn there world upside down! It is really hard being a parent and they need to be on the same page, unfortunately they do not have the same vision!
the best way to be secure is truly to do it yourself. otherwsie, you are never secure even if you have a loving partner and they die , who will provide for you. this is a wake up call for all ladies, create your own destiny.
Ramit should have pressed him more on the cars. How much are all those worth? Why does he feel like he gets to keep all that but his partner gets nothing? I feel like Megan was dismissed but Jason should have been pressed way more on the car question.
I think Ramit was choosing his battles. I don't think there was a point in doubling down on Jason. The one who needs to get their act together and then run is Megan.
girl, RUN!
I had a real hard time watching these two, didn't even finish either episode. That guy only cares about himself and his money. Ugh,
I watched both episodes until the end, and my conclusion is that Jason never wanted a baby, and Megan should have left him for someone who does. I think Megan is one of those women who thinks "He'll change his mind once the baby comes".
Ramit- what about the value of leaving a job and carrying a baby while pregnant and the money saved by her taking care of a newborn?? This was a real blind spot in this discussion. Having a baby and giving it care while pausing your own career is one of the most vulnerable things a woman can do.Jason was completely all about his numbers without regard to this meaningful contribution on her part. What is the value of doing this monetarily?I heard her say that she didn't wish to depend on anyone financially but it is their child - not hers and this was disturbing and frankly sexist. I typically love these interviews but this one was hard to stomach due to its misogyny.
Risk reduction is not a value.
I started watching Jason’s facial expressions part way through this episode, is the only time he gets animated is when he talks about money? I did not see him nod or smile when Megan would talk about the baby or the baby preps.
Obviously, he's not into her. He acts like this pregnancy is an inconvenience.
@@deirdrekiely6187Stone face is probably how he expresses stress. He’s likely neurodivergent.
I don't understand how you raise a child with separate finances. Babies involve all kinds of unexpected expenses.
I think you could if you just pooled money for the baby as you would for rent and groceries in another pool
Seriously I’ve spent the morning crying because I’m exhausted over sick foster kittens. Expensive diet food, testing allergies, vet visits, sleepless night syringe feeding. A baby, I would loose my fucking mind.
This is why I did a lot of soul searching 20 years ago and realized that it was better that I not have children, because I knew that I couldn’t be present the way a child deserves due to health issues I have.
It’s 20 years later and I have absolutely no regrets.
People need to really be honest with themselves when it comes to having children, so that we have more children that are wanted, valued and loved the way they deserve as opposed to being emotionally neglected, which is what I fear will happen with Megan’s baby.
Jason was never honest with himself when it comes to being a parent until it was too late, and it is painfully obvious. He sounds like my own father, and that man caused so much damage and pain during my childhood that I no longer speak with him or my mother who still stands by and enables him.
I’m so sorry about your difficult past!
It really doesn’t seem like he wants a committed partnership or child unless it’s convenient to him and doesn’t impact his goals - which it should and will if you take proper care of a child.
He really should have remained childfree. They are having so many conversations that you have before kids way to late. I hope they get on the same page and prioritise the child but I suspect this will not end well.
@@Coastpsych_fi99 thank you.
Personally, I wanted to stop the continuation of generational trauma on my branch of the family tree, which is a big reason why I chose to be childfree. I just wish that my father had the balls to admit that he shouldn’t have had children as well, but it is what it is.
I don’t regret existing, but it hasn’t been easy.
I am sad that this could potentially be what their child ends up saying as well in a couple of decades…
@Trix897 agreed! I am childfree as well, partly because I didn't feel I had the ingredients to be a good parent, and partly because my rich life never involved children. I always imagined a life spent with my loved ones and chosen family and an abundance of money to allow us to flourish without financial struggles. Children always felt like a wild card that could derail my rich life dreams. This guy should have come to the same realization and voiced that to his lover. I had elective sterilization and it was the best decision I've ever made, he should have had a vasectomy long ago
@@ashleycooley561 I had my tubal in 2006 and my hysterectomy in 2014. The latter did hit hard in some ways, but I’m still glad I did it.
The vast majority of my inner circle are out here in Seattle with the exception of my dear friend in CT that I have known for over 35 years. I feel very blessed that no have the people in my life that I do, and I finally have peace and contentment (a much more permanent state of mind IMO vs happiness or joy, which I find fleeting in some respects). I have a much better life now than I ever had at any point prior to this point, and it feels good because it’s MINE.
So yeah, I get it. Peace and contentment to you! ❤️🩹
Sorry but this was ridiculous and unrealistic. This MF'er said @14:45 that "MY GOAL IS TO BUY NOTHING" for the baby and Ramit did not push back on him once saying that wasn't achievable. He literally congratulated them on the father not spending a penny for their SHARED responsibility. The dad is worried about money but not willing to sacrifice a single car? Insane.
the car thing is maddening.
@AmbiguousAbsolute yeah I did not like how Ramit kept validating this guy OPTIMIZING SH!T and saying..i get it...I'm the same way...
Absolutely wild. I am a person who loves and recommends getting stuff for free and buying secondhand when possible (saves money, better for the environment, etc.), but this shocked me too. With babies and children, there are some things you do really need to buy new for safety purposes, like car seats, mattresses, etc. I guess Megan will be sticking those on her credit card too? Combined with everything else in these two episodes, this is such a red flag. I feel sad and worried for Megan, and also for the child. Growing up feeling like a financial burden to one parent is a very difficult way to begin your life. I also feel a bit disappointed by the way Ramit approached this and validated so much of what Jason was saying. I know he was trying to meet him on common ground, but a single 20-something man thinking / behaving this way is much different from a 40-year-old partner / father-to-be thinking and behaving this way and obviously has totally different implications. I don't think this is something he can grow / learn his way out of, especially given his apparent lack of willingness. It feels like he came on the podcast to try and set Megan straight more than to try and figure out how to proceed as a couple.
children's expenses are one of Ramit's blind areas for sure, he has trouble understanding why people spend money on their kids that to a regular non-parent seem illogical.
@@navysubwife85 Agreed. And I think the toll parenting takes on the non-primary-breadwinning parent is another of his blindspots. It's a nice idea in theory for the primary parent (usually a woman) to "just earn more" or for a woman to just "go back to work" after having a baby but the reality for a lot of families is much more nuanced and complex. I love this podcast, but I've noticed these blindspots coming up fairly regularly.
What is sad about this episode. Is that this felt more about his CSP instead of hers :( when he said "this doesn't feel like a stressful period" and Ramit agreed with him (or) backed off. You can obviously see the stress and concern in her face.
Exactly a new father not being stressed means they have not pictured themselves in that role for one second
Ramit, you're so patient with your guests, it's always a pleasure to hear how encouraging and supportive you are!
"If we were more mature in this journey?" They are 8 years in with a baby on the way. How much more on the way can you be?
Megan, you’re worthy and valuable. Go see a therapist and get curious with yourself on why it feels comfortable to stay in this relationship. I think you know the truth, but don’t want to say it. It’s okay. You can move forward and you need to, sis. We are rooting for you. He wants to be a bachelor- let him.
This is such a nice comment ❤ I hope she sees it! Megan, there are sooo many women in the comments who know you deserve better!
This episode was even worse than the first one. Children are worth investing in. He clearly doesn’t want a family and doesn’t value Megan.
Maxing his 401k is not a problem at all. He needs to sell at least 4 cars. Releasing all the gas, insurance, title payments to put into his baby fund, 529 etc. Cut down guilt free spending to put into mortgage payment and CC debt payment (risk reduction).
Automated the 401k, Roth IRAs and 529. Max those out and live a good life. Maybe sell the second house to invest too. Housing is a consumption asset that requires property taxes, insurance, utilities. Unless he is making money from that house with rental income.
He needs to put a system to his money and teach Megan about it. Then open a join checking and put a certain percentage into that. When Megan goes back to work in a year, she can put a same percentage of her post tax income in that acct.
This man has sold his soul to the corporate devil and is the embodiment of greed. He’ll be on his deathbed one day thinking of potential action items and optimization. I feel sorry for the people around him.
High income earner, 3M in current net-worth and worrying about what would we spend on a baby😩😩😩🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️
Worse part is he says he wants to spend NOTHING on the baby with a smile. Megan needs to run. 🏃
Does this guy have one foot out the door on this relationship and he doesn't seem to realize it? He doesn't want to get married. Doesn't seem to trust her with money. And I vaguely remember something about not put her name on the house.
I think he thought Ramit was going to high five him for his optimizing
$6000 a year is a lot for someone on her income. She will have to wait until she gets child support in the future because he isn't gonna stick around
He didn't mention the baby at all in his follow-up. 😢
When you are 70, you are not going to say, oh I am glad or I reduced that risk. You will say I am so glad I spent that time with my baby and was there for him. Speaking from experience...
It’s not my goal but I also didn’t create a baby. I’d love to donate my money to important causes and retire early to volunteer for causes I believe in.
When he is 70, is he going to say "oh I am so glad I didn't sell any of the 8 cars"?
@@bagel_bandanna exactly! 😂
@@Jbdr984He sounds like he likes the car more than his future child and should not be given a child let alone a dog.
He's not going to do that, though. Clearly.
Really crazy that this guy won’t sell the cars.
I thought it was crazy when he didn't want to give her the same spending money as him. I feel like the baby wasn't something he wanted and she probably is not something he saw a serious future with either. They don't appear to be in love.
She was not “someone” he saw a serious future with. He should’ve been more responsible if he didn’t want a baby. She should’ve discerned that Jason wasn’t ready to be a family man. I get the feeling Megan knew this before proceeding to get pregnant and thought baby trapping this guy would be a good idea.
Yessss….. he’s treating their 8 year relationship as if it’s a one night stand and she accidentally got pregnant. Jezzzussss!!!
Ramit is not a couples counselor and doesn’t claim to me. I think what he has done. Here is show them that they aren’t communicating on a deeper level. They need a couples counselor. They need to talk about how they feel and their concerns when one person says something. We need to mirror her back to each other. The other person’s feeling, so the other person feels fully heard. I don’t think their relationship is doomed based off this one conversation. I just think it opens up the door to have conversations. They are not aligned, but they’re also not listening to each other and hearing each other.
I feel like Ramit is taking it too easy on Jason. I think Ramit is out of his element with this couple. Jason doesn’t want to change. He doesn’t want “family” anything. He wants to continue to keep Megan at arms length. I can’t watch the rest of this episode. I’m out. Can’t stand this guy, he has no emotion.
Agree. Feel like I want to throw up.
Agree, this guy is super disgusting.
Megan is on her own with this baby! He has no interest in her or THEIR child! She needs to read these comments and start making plans for herself and her future with her baby.
I was really surprised and disappointed that Ramit was so hard on her about the credit cards, but didn’t push him about the cars at all. I don’t know if this is why, but she will likely be doing this on her own soon and it will probably serve her in the long run to come out of this relationship making sure she is debt free. This whole two hours breaks my heart for her because it seems like she chose to have a baby with someone who isn’t interested in making a family, which requires WAYYY more than stacked retirement accounts. I also just can’t imagine renting out multiple rooms in my house with my partner so that I can afford a huge house and 8 cars. She’s a grown up and made her own choices with a man she must know well after 8 years, but damn am I worried for her and that baby!
Megan, Ms. Ma'am, Sweety- This man is checking boxes. He has the house ✅, cars✅, and then soon will have the "family". I guarantee, the second that baby comes out, he will have a new life-"thing" that he must acquire that his attention will go towards. A business, a boat, something. He sees you as an expense for his lifestyle. He is Min-maxing your relationship. I'm betting that he will try to feel different when the baby comes out, but there's no guarantee. He needs an absolute reality check. Jason, if you read this, get your head out of your ass, bro. Go to therapy. Do something....or that eventual alimony and child support bill is going to destroy your mental health.
he will get a good lawyer (probably has a secret fund for it) and get out of that too
This is hard to watch. This woman is about to have YOUR kid and you're reluctant to be generous with providing for her especially regarding the guilt-free spend & you have 8 cars?
This guy has some things really wrong with him.