BTT# 29 - Why She's a Control Freak
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- Опубліковано 28 лип 2019
- We kick off today's show talking about why she is a control freak, and how to handle controlling behavior. Controlling relationships are a big red flag, and men should be attentive to the signs and act accordingly, in today's show, we tell you how.
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#Controlling #ControlFreaks #ControllingWomen
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I'm highly suspicious of women who are too aggressive with sexuality too soon. That usually signals some trauma, or other disorders. At 37 years old I can catch this now, but at 21 years old I was doomed.
It caught me at 24 years old. She put on a mask and took it off after she gave birth to our son...
@@SOEKAMORICK I'm guessing he's saying when they give you sex so easily without really knowing you, that shows signs of serious poor judgment, and possible other mental health issue such as attachment, control, abandonment, sexual trauma, the list goes on about what could be wrong with this person, so you need to choose wisely when dating.
You hit the nail on the head! Crazy people have a multitude of ways they hide their disorders, or use certain tactics to manipulate or flat out control someone. Guys need to be picky with who they date or have sex with.
I noticed this with my ex - she tried to be more controlling with criticism and contradictions to my stance when she was unhappy and anxious. There was a point after separation, where she'd act like a sergeant major, walking into my house and trying to pick fault. Of course when she was met further enforcement of boundaries.: she'd either try another tactic like being offended or stepping up her manner to the point of unreasonably demanding an apology. I'd did notice that she never accepted her behaviour, never apologised for her attitude , or took accountability for it.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that.
An hour went by like 20 min. But I like this podcast. I’m heading back to work, to pay off debt and then try and fire at my dream career.
The tricky part about dealing with a constant stream of requests from women, is that in general, women are more fussy about things than men. Most of the time, a guy couldn't give a shit about what color the sheets are. So when it comes time to buy a set of sheets, she has an opinion and he doesn't care. But then this trend continues in many areas of life and before you know it, she "expects" to get her way. The trick is to put your foot down and "care" about some things, even when you really don't care, to keep from establishing lopsided expectations. How often to do this requires experience on the man's part.
It's my mom and she's been doing it all my life and I'm really tired of it. I'm at the point where I'm just about to do my own thing and just leave her completely alone.
I have. Best 5yrs of my life so far. Moms are just as toxic.
My mom and I are best friends, but if you come around too much it’s not an enjoyable time. You have to leave by 19, and you can only see your mom 1-2 times a month, maybe 3-4.
Idk if you deleted but I left and got fucked over and had to come back, I was there again after I was 21. I’m 24 and I won’t come back. Shit it’s almost like an advantage at some points you see some shit and you’re like haaaah! I caught you with your bullshit tryna wrap me into a fight! It’s bad but you can learn from it lol
"One way how people manage their emotions (anxiety, insecurities) when they not managing them correctly is that they will try and manage there own emotions by trying to CONTROL someone elses behaviour so rather than managing whatever is going on inside of them they will look outside into the world and control what other people do or say." Very clever Dr.
i recently finished from the rational male vol.1 it may be the most important book i will read and have read in my entire life thanks to you guys and rollo men can avoid being used and manipulated .
I've said "this reminds me of my last ex" every episode for months...
I am at a stand point in my life guys. I’m afraid of running into my mom as a woman I’m gonna date. I don’t want to be with such a woman.
-Shawn's deduction on not hearing the whole story from the millionaire guy, and why is she controlling sounded reasonable.
- the smirk when "she" gets her way can be observed in a woman's face if an attention is paid closely. (Corner of the lips or slight relaxation on facial muscles)
-mimicking behavior = mirror neurons in working? 38:44
I’ve had an extremely controlling mother in my life. She is a power house when it comes to my childhood... I couldn’t approach women or even strangers in my life. I don’t think my dad has any idea of the problems this has caused me.. but my mom was a big fat man compared to my dad. My dad was always a nice man compared to my mother.
JoJuan Brown the accuracy of your comment is eerily similar. These days we gotta teach ourselves to interact with society in the way our fathers could’ve taught us. Keep grindin brother.
Christian Buckett thanks on that, yeah of cource. Mindset is that, just try and take these cards and make the best of them or try and flip them.
Border line personalities disorder
Feminist
Narsisit
Gas lighting
Love bombing / ....... The crazy!!!!
That's what I've got.....
William M Thats my last girlfriend i just ran away from.
Projection. That's another big one. Women love to project their own flaws, failures, insecurities, weaknesses, etc. onto other people.
Wanted to like the comment out of habit, but resisted the urge! Nothing to like in this scenario.
Too right!
The differing contrast of bedside manner between Rich and Doc makes this show such a pleasure to watch. They remind me of two coaches I had growing up. One was a hard-ass crusty old dude who would tell you what you needed to hear even it hurt your feels, the other could inspire with his words and get you back on your feet when you got knocked on our ass.
Controlling behavior stems from insecurity, boundaries are rooted in confidence. The guy who said that was spot on. It’s a great way to know the difference between the two that I never thought of. Controlling behavior is also reactive
Men often want to save the troubled woman. I did several times until I saw it clearly.
Thank you. This week was especially enlightening.
Also that's a really great point about betatization by a 1000 concessions!
"behavior extinction burst" very useful concept
Woman who control others lack personal self control. Simple as that. Especially if the guy is nice and agreeable.
Applies to men as well
Love the Corvette!!!!!!!
What’s the attitude on porn? I’m in a low sex marriage and due to being a sole provider, divorce is off the table for now.
17:30 The gentleman that described the difference between Boundaries/controlling, was dead on !
Healthy Boundaries does not require one to question if it’s a ‘control’ behavior. You have to stop ignoring the Red Flags! This goes for men and women.
Dating these women is unreasonable! Cut them loose and dont deal with them. Dont at all try to figure out why, just dont deal with it. These women will suck the life out of your soul. Look for healthy females and watch for women who try to control from the beginning. Boundaries is the best way to weed them out as they hate boundaries.
"Why buy your favorite dream car when you could of bought HER whatever she wanted?" "How selfish of you!!!!!!!!!!"....................... I had to listen to this type of bullshit for 23 years.
Conk was spot on. Sharp dude.
Simon Benson yes the boundaries are from a place of confidence and controlling behaviors stems from insecurity, spot on to me
One of the lessons that guided well is...stay away from depressed people. Find a friends and partner who are naturally happens and optimistic...half your job is done.
Extremely draining to be the one constantly uplifting the other person. Not your job to make her happy...support her? Yes. Encourage her? Yes...but happiness is her own responsibility.
This is my mother. This is my sister. These were a litany of ex's. Mom could never exercise control and discipline in her own life, and by extension, had to control all manner of people, places, and things in her immediate environment. They bulldoze all manner of "boundries" with the usual weapons of screaming, shaming, guilt-inducing, emotional manipulation, and ultimately crying. It's about fear, power, and control.
When a man exercises personal boundries, exercises personal dignity, and learns the discipline of being STOIC, and applies the principles of the Art of War ... women learn quickly that they now have a decision to make ...stay and change, or leave.
Women leave. Why? Personal accountability and responsibility. It demands discipline. Women lack discipline.
Be prepared to walk away. Be prepared to lose everything. Be a poor master, than a guilded slave.
I love the show, I like how U tube runs alot of ad's on your show ?
King Solomon tells us not to let her beauty captivate you. It’s hard, but it’s possible.
Great show !!! Wow lots of info .. lot of ah ha !
Well if you say no.... how on earth do you have to prevent that from happening???? How do you stop that from happening.. it’s unreal.
Dr.Sean, thank you for your words of wisdom. I've been a fan for quite some time. I pondered for a minute as I started to reflect on your comparison and contrast of betaization by a thousand concessions. As a female law enforcement officer, your right- it's the little things that we must not succumb to. We should stand firm in upholding laws, penal codes, rules and regulations. Thank you, I will use your parable as a lesson to our recruits. Best regards. Jessica
I feel very related to that guy with the "siren". My girlfriend is gorgeous, very intelligent and great "wife material". Sex is amazing and she's always down to do whatever i want to please me, but the problem is she's very controlling, she would get mad at me if i want to go out with friends specially if there're are females present, i even caught her with my phone more than once looking at my messages. I don't know what to do, this is literally the only thing wrong about her but everything else is a 10.
39 years old, never really had a Male role model due to a single mother. I've been listening to red pill material for a couple of years
I've been in an 18 year old relationship that has taken a turn for the worse. I have an obsessively controlling wife and I can't leave because of the 3 children we have together. I have come to s realization that I am screwed but I have been making my boys aware of the things that may go wrong in a relationship and the damage that it may cause them. If I can't save myself at least I'll help my sons avoid this train wreck.
Get out now. Your kids can handle it. You're not doing them any favors by remaining unhappy. I got my freedom three years ago after 20 years and 4 kids.
You should be 40 now.
"Lift heavy shit", get in shape, take care of yourself, look very presentable and sure of yourself, chase a passion/hobby (even better if shared with the boys), and flirt with couple women or girlfriends in her circle, preferably younger or better looking than her. Make sure she see!
Don't be afraid to make her crazy mad: make up sex will be wild, AAAAAND.......
She will start chasing you.
Learn how to respond to shit-tests.
Take control of your life. When you became a true red pill man, she will follow
Which she would choose: a doormat or a dragon?
The guy who's women broke up with him every month.... anyone else spot that this could have been on her cycle?? Break up and go and find a bigger alpha?
1953 first year for Vette
First year for the Corvette was 1953.
Sounded like the 2nd guest ran into a bpd/npd skeezer. I feel oftentimes women that were sexually abused go either way. They are either hypersexual, or are closed off to sex. It sounds like he dated my most recent ex she was a covert narc, but with a narcissist that doesn't have bpd they are a little more mechanical in their sexual approach. They like a quick 20 minute session as compared to the bpd that is into marathon sex. If we could only have had more cats like this caller. Articulate and well spoken Barrett!
Ryan with the Hispanic chick. Just remember she is whoever her best friends are, and if she is as brand crazy as she is she is probably hanging out with the mainstream skanks. Listen to Rich chase your purpose and dont give your heart to any woman. Keep em around but keep em at bay.
@K Silver it's not uploading/uploaded yet.
I agree with your assessment. I was with a Brazilian cover narc who was gorgeous but sex with her was mechanical and emotionless. She loved the attention all sorts of guys would give her. Later found out she also had multiple sugar daddies. Sex was a tool to her. God damn she was fun in the beginning though
@@jaredmello haha yep the coverts just want that quickie. They are structured about everything they do. My ex was a smoke show as well! They act like moral princesses. Meanwhile they are living a double life. Definitely an eye opener.
@K Silver I've looked and looked for your comment. feel free to restate your thoughts, and I'd be glad to respond.
Just be still when she gets crazy. As she gets in a control frenzy you relax more.
Oooh they fucking hate this, but it works 99% of the time. Ignore and do whatever the fuck it is you were gonna do anyway. Almost every time they will apologize and/or their attraction for you goes up. Stand your ground.
I can see Rich Cooper in a Helcat Deamon !!!
If any man is in a relationship and the woman is trying to control him and he puts up with it then he is a simp because no man should put up with a woman trying to control him what you do is leave her move on if you have to tell her you replace you do not Chase and you move on with your life.
I was a monk. Monks are the most red pill beings walking the earth. Dominican Friars. 10 years in the most elite Order. I left to fight in Iraq in good standing. Returned to pursue my clinical work and doctorate. It was a great life and prevented me from blue pill madness. Dominicans gave the Jesuits their intellectual tradition. Being a monk is holding up your spiritual shield. The great monk can be around women without actualizing temptation. Just wanting to share that. Monks choose not to be with women for a higher purpose but the mission might involve dealing with a fellow femme professor, or the parish secretary who is hitting on you. This fellow military guy needs to focus on his mental development not running from women via so-called Monk mode. Being a monk does not involve detox. Femme detox mode might be the best path. Cooper gave the lady some great advice. Lady needs to focus on himself... like going for special ops, or promotion, or getting a great military tech school or leadership school. Btw I gott blue pilled after Iraq and being away from the monastery.
if she has over 500 pics of herself, she's not a narcissistic....
Caller @ 33:00 she was using sex to control him
You mention The Rational Male a lot on your channel, so I finally bought it today. There are lots of typos, grammar mistakes, and poorly-written sentences in this book. Rollo really ought to hire an editor. Other than that, it's been an interesting read so far, but it could be a lot better with the loving touch of a good editor. A little surprised, I was expecting a more polished read than this.
Do you have a voicemail where I can share my situation ? Could use some advise
Book a call Clarity.fm/Richardcooper
the young dude is really going down.
Corvette came out in 1953.
Just putting this out there: in general, i like your content but Let me point out one thing: the danger of your channel lies in the fact that you evoke a lot of resentment in men towards women. Although i do agree with a lot of stuff you say, we should never turn our backs fully towards women. We need them just as they need us. We were made for each other by our creator. I'm 26 year old, 6 foot tall dutch sales rep and i have the sweetest girl ever, but i wanna stay down to earth by sometimes watching your content. My tip to you would be: make a positive video on women. There is always hope, even after you got cheated on. Both men and women are guilty of sin. We suffer equal but in different ways. Just don't make men hate women. I'd rather love one, which im doing rightnow
23:00 hahaha what a kiwi guy lol
Why's is a bad sign if she holds you up high?
Because it's highly likely she's "love bombing" which is a manipulative technique.
@@FrankZen ok ya, I've heard of that. Isn't that a sociopath trait?
I can totally relate to your experience. Everything you said brought back some memories of a woman I dated off and on for a few years. The idealizing, porn star sex, the gas lighting, then the devaluing and discard. It was a rinse, recycle, repeat. She gas lit me so much that she made me feel it was all my fault and that I was the emotional manipulator. Like you said, they have a way of drawing you back. It’s called a “Hoover “. I personally believe we were dealing with someone with NPD and not so much a BPD.
barrettb_ie Exactly!! She made me feel like I was the problem. Like if I don’t know how to keep a relationship together. Yet, the whole time I thought I was doing everything right. She seemed happy for a while, but then later would withdraw her attention. Would even ghost me for a day. I would worry if everything was ok with her. She would push these buttons to cause anxiety. At the time, I had a scarcity mindset, and I believed she knew that and would push that button. The thing about these NPD’s is that they know how to read people and they choose their victims. I believe we were chosen by them because they saw something in us. Lucky for you, you broke it off. In my case, she would break it off when I didn’t expect it. That’s the part that’s hurtful because there is no closure from them.
@@jcdenton9933 I just went through this exact crap you guys are all saying here
I completely relate to this bald bearded fellow
22 year old military guy is cute, hope he's doing well 😆
Thank god im not good looking enough to get the real crazy broads.. Think god ... It would really bothered me when I was younger .. Now I see I am better off in my soul over it ... Not saying I dont get crazy women still ... Just the better they look the deaper the crazy as we all know
I find the 2020 Vette kinda looks the style of a Ferrari. Funny control freaks is the topic.. I was chatting with a girl online who seemed to have potential but I noticed after a couple days of chatting she had all the warming signs of an extremely controlling person. I was even considering looking past that to a certain extent, because I live a pretty simple life and there's not a whole lot to control but my Spidey sense started tingling strongly and it was telling me there was still alot of bad stuff about her that she hadn't showed me yet, so I shut that shit down.. ALWAYS trust your gut!
Steven Macintyre you know what comes out of your gut....
Shit!
Joking 🙃 I’ve seen controlling women and the defeat of a man’s face. There’s only so much shit one can eat.
Guys I think that in this video you are talking about women in west or America. The story is totally different in the islamic world. I am from pakistan. My mum and dad had an arranged marriage and they stayed together till my dad passed away. I used to have chat with my mum about her marriage. I asked her how easy it was for her to be married with my dad as she had no idea who the guy was. They never met before they got married. She told me that my dad and your grandfather decided that we two should get married and we got married. Mum said that this is how people use to get married. Mum said that when she was getting married she was told by her parents that things will be fine. I remeber mum said that in our culture you get married first and then start working on develpoing love with your husband and wife. These are the things that people laugh at in the West especially women. Women in Islamic cultures are trained to respect male figures in the family from childhood. The most hated woman in islamic society is the one with big mouth and is normally get divorced. A divorced woman finds it literally impossible to be married again. Its a big red flag for men in that society. I now live in the West and I feel so sorry for the western men. They are not respected by thier women. They are baby sitting most of the times while thier wives or gfs are out and about. What really pissss off is that why men have become so passive? Why are they not standing up against all this busslshit. Its a great irony that men in the west are obsessed with fighting wars abroad literally willing to give thier lives but have no control over women whatsoever.